Robert and Ella had busied themselves with coloring in admin work-up papers. The outlined drawings of bodies, which normally were only marked upon to indicate places of pain, were being made over as the two of them took yellow, blue, orange and pink highlighters to add clothes and hair. OK, well Robert was adding hair and clothes, Ella was drawing circles.
"grugg lib sooksh" Ella announced holding up a completed paper to Romano.
"Very Nice Ella, I like your use of light and dark there in the corner." He assessed.
Robert watched as Ella's eyes began to droop. The nap that she had woken up from had clearly not been long enough. Robert chuckled to himself, just like her mother, this girl is all about overextending herself. "Ella being as I happen to be the most medical trained in this room, I feel the need to point out the dangers of not paying heed to your circadian rhythms. Why, there were case studies done several years ago with these rats in tubs of water…" Ella yawned again and got to her feet. Robert watched her stumble a bit and then fall against his right arm. Romano lifted his arm letting her snuggle up next to him, "that, my friend, is exactly what I am talking about. Clumsiness is a tell-tale sign of inefficient REM."
Romano picked her up and held her safely against his chest. He figured it would probably only take a few minutes of rocking before she would give into her sleepiness. He didn't want to wake Elizabeth and figured if he could just get Ella asleep he might be able to sneak her back into her mom's bed without disruption. He let his mind relish the mental image he had captured of Elizabeth asleep in the room next to him. She has been working so hard these last few weeks. She was like a machine. She had taken to her added job duties with a vengeance. In many ways she had become the carbon copy of himself in the position as Chief of Surgery. Romano knew he should be complimented by it, but the truth is it worried him. Romano had seen, in the past year, the problems of detaching yourself from your co-workers. When he was in charge, he used his elevated professional position to keep everyone at a distance. If he had it all to do over again, he would show more respect for his fellow chiefs. Weaver, he hated to admit, was doing a good job at that. After all, she had let him practice again. Romano had previously realized that if their roles were reversed, Kerry would be as far away from the hospital as Romano could have kept her.
All of this self-actualization didn't help him figure out Ella though. Twenty minutes after standing up with her, he found that he didn't know Ella as well as he thought. He tried everything from pacing back and forth, bouncing her lightly, to full out ballroom dancing with her. Defiant to a fault, she continued to reach her hands up play with his collar, his nose, and the top of his head, in between rubbing her eyes and showing other signs of how tired she really was. As a last resort he flipped office lights off and stop moving around. Ella froze with one thumb in her mouth and the other one squeezing his ear wondering what her one-eye dolly was doing.
With a voice barely louder than a whisper he began to sing, "Is it ok if I call you mine? Just for a time. And I will just fine…" It was one of the first songs he had learned to play once he got his guitar at 16. The musical Fame was a huge success and the song just struck a personal chord with him at that time in his life. In this situation, holding this precious little girl snuggly to his torso, the lyrics took on a whole different meaning for him.
Ella's only movement came from the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed warm air against his neck. But Romano dared not risk making any assumptions. When he finished the song, he simply started it again. Finally he felt her sink heavier against his chest and he knew that she had fallen asleep. He held her to him, gently rocking back and forth, even after he had confirmed she was slumbering. The stillness of the room was having a similar effect on him and he decided that after he brought Ella back to Elizabeth he would go home for the night. Of course he wasn't in a rush to turn the lights back on and sneak back out of the hospital. He was glad that Ella discovered him, or rather he discovered her, an hour before. Romano was ready to stop sneaking around. He knew that he couldn't come forward right away, but he had put his plan in motion by asking Susan to tell Weaver he was ready. "Yes, by this time next week," he thought to himself, "I will be out of this room permanently."
Blinking away the light, he stepped out into the hall before very slowly entering the room next to his. Elizabeth was still sleeping in the exact same position as earlier, on her side facing the door. He cautiously walked over to her and placed Ella down in front of her. Ella instinctively curled into her mom's body. And Romano noticed a soft smile spread across Elizabeth's face but she didn't wake up. Knowing it was foolish of him he stood there staring at them for a few lingering minutes. "To think, all of this could have been mine," he thought to himself (his mind ripping off BBC's version of Jane's Austin's Pride and Prejudice.) He eyes slowly traced every line and shadow of this sleeping couple. Having spent the last 20 years studying the human body it struck him how beautiful it could still be for him.
Romano's mind had turned to leave but his body reached over to Elizabeth and grabbed lightly a curl of hair that had fallen across her face. He gently tried to tuck it back behind her ear as Elizabeth leaned into his hand. Rolling over she trapped his hand under her head. Robert's eyes grew wide trying to figure out how he was going to get out his hand back without waking her. He smiled to himself thinking if it had only been his left hand jammed he could have detached his prosthetic. This being the one time it could have come in handy.
He hadn't come up with any good ideas when Elizabeth let out a stretching moan and slowly flickered her eyes open to see his face. Even after opening her eyes completely and taking in the embarrassed half smile Romano gave her, she blinked a few more times, trying to wake from the dream. Romano slipped his hand up from her head and brought it to his neck nervously massaging himself. "Elizabeth." He said as a goodbye and turned to walk out of the room.
"Dr. Romano?" she questioned just as he reached the door.
He smiled, "isn't that a little formal considering what we just shared for the last hour." He pointed to Ella but that didn't make any sense to her at all.
"Am I still dreaming?" she asked her brain still cloudy.
"Do you usually call me 'Dr. Romano' in your dreams?"
"Do you always have to answer a question with a question?" she said finally having her head catch up to the current conversation.
"Uhh…" he searched for a witty comeback, "no."
"What are you doing here?"
"What am I doing here? What are you doing here? You think this place is the Hilton?"
"That, Robert, was three questions."
Robert just smiled at her. He was incredibly relieved that their first conversation, after the night he walked out on her, had not turned into a shouting match. "I've missed you." He spoke quietly.
"What was that Robert? AND DON'T ask me a question."
"I was just saying that I missed this. Our…" he moved his hand back and forth between them. "Our… banter."
"So have I Robert. Of course, as always, I was only a phone call away…" she ended her sentence softly. She didn't really want to get into this with him. Too much time had passed for them to start placing blame on one another. Too much time had passed for a lot of things.
"I'm sorry."
"Nah, forget it." She stood from the bed and straightened out her clothes. "Wow, I'm surprised Ella is still sleeping. She usually is only good for a hour or so."
"Actually…"
"Look Robert," she cut him off. "I don't know what you're doing here, but I think it's clear that neither of us is really wanting or needing this relationship right now, so why don't you just go." She quickly gathered up her coat and purse trying to hold everything in one arm so she could retrieve Ella with her other hand.
Robert stared at her in shock. This isn't how he wanted it to go at all. He had to come clean. Right now. Screw Weaver. "Elizabeth, I've started operating again."
"What?" she said dropping her coat to the floor.