Chapter 7: Nothing Lasts Forever…

At lunchtime, Annie appeared at their door. Averman had got up around eleven, but Luis had flatly refused to get out of bed, so Averman had to talk to her.

"Is he ok?" Annie asked, as Averman stepped out of the Shoebox and shut the door behind him.

Averman considered the question. "Probably not, but no more than the average person in the first stages of grief."

"I heard about Mindy. One of Shelley's friends told me, she was under the impression that Mindy and I were good friends," Annie said. "Will you tell Luis I'm sorry?"

"Sure," Averman replied, musing on the weirdness. Annie had been Luis' best friend since about halfway through freshman year, Averman himself had known him longer, but they had only become close recently, but Luis couldn't seem to deal with anyone but Averman.

There was a silence that wasn't entirely awkward, and Averman made a move to go back to the Shoebox.

"Wait." Annie bit her lip and took a deep breath before continuing. "There's rumours about you two again."

Averman shrugged. "So what?"

"No, I mean, most people haven't heard about Mindy, the Dean wants to make a formal announcement at an assembly tomorrow. Charlie came up to your room to see why you two weren't at practice today."

Averman shrugged again.

"You didn't lock your door. He walked in and found you guys asleep together. He lied to Wilson, but as far as the Ducks are concerned, you two skipped practice because… um, well… you were too tired… after…"

Averman gave her a wry smile. "I don't think Luis will care. He's barely functioning at the moment. And the Ducks don't really care if it's true or not, it's just gossip."

Annie nodded. "Yeah, I know. I just thought I'd give you a heads up in case Charlie gave you another speech."

"Thanks."

"I should probably call Mindy's parents," Luis decided suddenly.

Averman gave him a surprised look, not so much his words, but the fact he was speaking. Luis had been pretty stoic all day and limited himself to one-word answers. "Ok."

"I should. I should express my condolences and ask about the service. Mindy would have called my parents if it was the other way round," Luis continued.

"You need a phone. I'll go find one," Averman said, getting to his feet and throwing aside the book he had been reading.

"I could use the communal one in the hall."

Averman gave him an appraising look. "Don't take this the wrong way, but you look awful. I know that probably doesn't matter to you, given the circumstances, but people will stare at you and you'll hate it."

Luis considered this. "You're probably right. So, where are you going to get a phone from?"

"Banksie!" Averman gave him a big smile.

"Hello, Averman." Adam said cautiously. When Averman smiled big at you, it often meant bad things.

"Can I borrow your cell phone?"

"No," Adam replied firmly. "Last time you borrowed it you changed the language to Arabic and I spent fourteen days trying to change it back."

"And I apologised."

"Yes, twelve days after I managed to change it back. You apologised a whopping twenty-six days after you screwed up my phone."

"And I only apologised because Charlie had me in a headlock," Averman added helpfully.

"Exactly!"

"Would you like me to apologise in advance in case I do something wrong?"

"Oh that's very inspiring," Adam scoffed. "And didn't I already say no?"

"Adam," Averman began seriously. "I'm not going to screw up your phone, I'm asking for Luis, he needs to make a call and he can't use the phone in the hall because everyone will be listening."

This got Adam's attention. "Is he coming out to his parents?" he asked with interest.

Averman sighed. "If I said yes, would you lend me the phone?"

Adam got up and took his phone out of a drawer and offered it to Averman. "If anything happens to this phone while it's in your care, I will behead you and impale your remains on the flagpole."

"Good threat," Averman nodded approvingly. "Although that's rather public and the Dean may object." He noticed Adam withdrawing the phone, and quickly put on a serious face. "Honestly, I'll be good."

Adam reluctantly handed over the phone. "So, are you gay now?" He asked. "I kinda wondered about you, I thought you might be. I don't get why everyone thinks I'm gay. I ask girls out and they think that I'm trying to make Charlie jealous."

Averman hid a snort of amusement. "Well, you do dress very neatly."

Adam looked alarmed. "But that doesn't make me gay, does it? Plenty of people dress neatly. Look at you, you don't and you're gay… then again, Luis does…"

"I'll leave you to ponder the weirdness," Averman said, backing out of the room.

Part of him wanted to relay the conversation to Luis, just to see if it would make him smile, but another part of him decided it wasn't the time.

"Just so you know," Averman said, handing the phone to Luis. "I had to leave my soul as a security deposit to borrow this phone."

"Thanks." Luis' distracted response reinforced the idea that telling Luis that the Ducks were now convinced that the two of them were a couple was a pointless and inappropriate idea.

"You want me to go away while you call them?" Averman offered.

Luis gave him a grateful look. "Would you mind?"

"Not at all, I'll go find Charlie. I assume you won't be at practice tomorrow?"

Luis sighed. "That's a fair assumption."

"I'll go make excuses."

Finding Charlie was easier said than done, Averman assumed that Charlie wouldn't be in his dorm room, since when he'd visited Adam he wasn't there. So he went to Terri's room, Terri was surprisingly alone, and kept him talking for twenty minutes about Aisha – offering to paint the Shoebox in exchange for him setting up a date for Aisha with Luis. The irritating purplette seemed to have no concept of the word "no".

His next stop was Goldberg's room, Terri claimed that she heard Charlie say he meant to speak to him. Goldberg eyed him suspiciously for a few minutes before proclaiming loudly that he should not be ashamed of himself, but proud. He likened being gay to being overweight, and that if people didn't accept him for what he was, they were the ones who should be ashamed, not Averman.

Averman finally promised to have lunch with him the next day to discuss things fully and was able to make an exit.

He worried that the rest of the Ducks would have similar speeches for him.

It turned out that his worries were perfectly reasonable. Two more speeches later (Guy – who said that Connie felt the same – and Dwayne both expressed support for his "alternative lifestyle") and he was outside Adam and Charlie's room again, ready to tear his hair out.

He knocked and wandered into the room, noting that the room was huge… and divided down the middle with silver duct tape – something he had not noticed when he borrowed Adam's phone. Charlie was sitting on the bed reading a magazine, Adam was at the desk working on homework. There was a stony silence between them.

"Hey, Charlie. I've been all over looking for you," Averman said.

"I didn't tell anyone! I swear!" Charlie said quickly.

Averman blinked, unsure of what it was that Charlie hadn't told everyone. "Ok," He said slowly, lacking both a better response and the interest to investigate.

"No seriously, I only told Banksie." Charlie glowered in his roommate's direction.

Averman opened his mouth to ask what it was that Charlie was talking about but Adam got there first. "Oh, blame me, why don't you?" Then added in an undertone, "Just like always."

"Well, to be fair–"

"Oh yeah, it's always my fault!"

"Hey!" Averman yelled in frustration. "Whatever you're talking about, that's not why I'm here."

Charlie and Adam shut up and gave him their full attention. A look of comprehension slowly broke across Adam's face. "You broke my phone." He accused.

Averman glared at him. "No! I did not break your damned phone and the two of you will shut the hell up until I finish what I want to say. Every single room I've been to this afternoon, I've been talked at, and nobody has listened to a damned word I've said, so shut your mouths!"

Both Charlie and Adam's jaws dropped, and Averman tried to remember the last time he had shouted at either of them. He came to the conclusion that he never had before, which explained why they looked so shocked. Charlie made a nervous "carry on" gesture.

"Luis won't be at practice tomorrow, probably not all week. That's all I had to say. I have no idea what you two were talking about, and I don't care. Mindy died last night, and Luis has been knocked flat on his ass by it." He took a deep gasp of air, suddenly done and quite proud of himself for finishing. "Um, that's it," he said, noticing that the two of them were waiting expectantly, as if there should have been more to his tirade.

"Um… ok," Charlie replied tentatively. "Why don't you skip practice too? I expect he'd like to have you around."

"Thank you." Averman suddenly felt tired. It suddenly occurred to him that he hadn't eaten all day and neither had Luis. This was a situation that had to be remedied urgently. "I'm gonna go find something to eat, you two can go back to your argument if you want."

"What do you think happens when you die?" Luis asked, breaking the silence between them.

Averman turned to face his roommate in the darkness. After he had got back from the cafeteria, he had forced Luis to eat a sandwich. Luis had promptly gotten sick and Averman had spent the following twenty minutes rubbing his back and getting water for him to sip slowly. When they got back to the Shoebox, Luis had lapsed into a sombre silence.

Averman has used this time productively to change Adam's phone settings once more, he changed Adam's pin code to his own birthday numbers, then changed the language to Turkish. Luckily only Charlie was in the dorm when he returned it – a very distracted Charlie, so Averman surmised that a half-naked Terri was in the room with him, a visual that terrified him and reinforced his potential gayness.

When he returned it was dark and Luis was in bed, the covers pulled over his head. Averman followed suit shortly after. They had been lying in the dark for so long that Averman thought Luis was asleep again.

"Well?" Luis prodded, pushing the covers back and peering at him.

"I think…" Averman paused to get his thoughts in order. "You know that feeling when you've had a long and tiring day, when you've been so busy that you couldn't sit down for five seconds, or call your friend, or do anything you really wanted to?"

"Yeah."

"Well, when you finally get home and you climb into bed and it's warm and familiar and you feel safe. I think that feeling is what it's like when you die."

"You don't think there's an afterlife, or heaven, anything like that?" Luis persisted.

"I don't know. I personally don't think so, but I'm hardly an expert on religion or theology," Averman replied. "Besides, aren't you Catholic, don't you have the heaven theory firmly in your court?"

"Mindy was an atheist, although her parents are religious," Luis said. "I was trying to think of what else might be out there."

"Maybe it's whatever you want it to be. It's all subjective and based on your own beliefs," Averman offered. "I mean, if you were tired and didn't want there to be an afterlife, it just stopped, if you wanted there to be heaven, it was there for you, if you wanted to be reincarnated, you could be. From what I've read and heard, God seems like a pretty fair kinda guy, I think He'd probably let something like that happen."

Luis smiled at him from across the room, his teeth seemed to glow blue in the moonlight, while the rest of his face was a mass of shadows. "I think I like that idea," he said.

Averman wondered if he should ask about the funeral. Maybe Luis wanted him to go with him, for moral support, or maybe he even wanted to talk about it.

"The funeral is on Friday," Luis said, as if reading his mind. "Would you…" He swallowed sharply, his throat making a loud clicking sound.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Averman offered.

Luis nodded, or so Averman assumed, noticing the way the light reflected slightly differently as Luis moved. "Yeah, I do. I don't want all the Ducks to go, because they never really got on with Mindy, it would seem…"

"Fake?" Averman suggested.

"Yeah."

"But what about me?" he asked. "I didn't know her either, and I have to admit, I did follow the herd with my opinion."

"I don't know, but you're different, you're my friend," Luis replied slowly.

"Why don't you tell me something about her?"

"Like what?"

"Anything. I never really talked to her, but you loved her, and I feel like I missed out on knowing her. What was she like?" Averman asked, honestly curious. As a drama student, he made a habit of watching people interact, or looking at people and guessing their life stories based on their clothing, what shopping they were carrying, their expressions.

"Well, I don't think either of us planned on falling in love. I know I didn't. At first it was just another way to get at Varsity, and you have to admit, she was a very pretty girl. And I didn't have any plans on staying faithful to her, but she just got to me, you know?"

Averman nodded slightly. He was beginning to understand that feeling.

"And I'd chat up girls, just for the sake of it, but it was boring. I just kept thinking 'she isn't Mindy'."

Averman smiled. "So what about Mindy? Who said the L-word first?"

Luis thought for awhile. "She did. She didn't love Riley, they were together because it was easy. She was always being elected queen of this, and president of that, and Rick was always being voted in as king, it was just easier for them to start dating. That's what she said anyway, I think she might have been bolstering my ego though."

"I don't know, she threw Riley over pretty quickly once she met you," Averman pointed out.

"But nothing lasts forever," Luis said morosely. "Do you think that's it? That all I was supposed to have were those three years with Mindy? Now I'm just going to spend the rest of my life wishing other people were her?"

It occurred to Averman that he possibly should have been irrationally hurt that Luis hadn't considered moving on from Mindy, even though they'd been broken up for over four months, but he wasn't. He was more concerned about Luis' state of mind. "No. I think you were just lucky that you managed to fall in love so soon. Look around the team, Adam's still not had a relationship that has lasted more than three dates because of his shyness, the Bash Brothers refuse to date because girls keep expecting them to be the clichéd bad boys with hearts of gold, Goldie is still hanging on to his devotion to that Lucy girl who broke his heart in junior year. And of course, there's me."

"You'll fall in love soon," Luis assured him. "And whoever it is will be very lucky."

A silence fell over them that was not entirely awkward, but was far from comfortable.

"So, uh…" Averman groped for something to say that wasn't completely stupid. "The service on Friday, what time is it?"

Notes: Conversation between Luis and Averman was horrible to write. Very difficult. Didn't want it to be light and fluffy, but didn't want it to be horribly angsty either. Aimed for bittersweet, got dirge instead. My bad, but hours went into it. I just couldn't make it work. Mainly because of the next chapter. So if you think it sucked, tell me, but do it nicely because I already know and I worked hard on it to get it that bad. Imagine how bad the first draft was. Carla says it reads better if you listen to November Rain whilst reading. I say anything reads better with November Rain playing.

Thank Yous:

Carla: For being supportive-gal for me. Danke, cherrypie. Can't do a blasted thing without you. Clean out your "office", I'm moving in.

Elf Toshiba: Thanks for the compliment. Sorry this took so long to get written.

Schiz: I love it when you babble insanely. Remind me to write a Pinky and the Brain style fic of these two. Or put a reference in when this fic lightens up again.

Flat*Out*Crazy: Thanks for the feedback, I kinda like gay Luis best, although that has yet to be confirmed in this fic!

lycanthrope: Argh! Another bloody thank you without a reply to your mail. I suck. I'm a bad person. I'm having a bad correspondence couple of months. Please forgive me. And worse, no Bashes, no yucca, no Bible and no joints. Although the chapter is a reference to one of the best fecking songs in the world, so I hope that goes in my favour. I will email you tomorrow, I promise. And to get me back, you can ignore me for two months. I'm sorry, I suck.

NYgoldfish54: Angst? I'm writing angst? *quivers* But Adam's not even in it? I thought he had the monopoly on angst? *grins* I just hope the scene in the next chapter works as well as it sounds in my head. That will hopefully be good angst.

Ashley: You want drunk Ducks. Ok, I'll put that in when this fic brings itself back up to the fluffy/funny standard I wanted it to be!

Britts: Glad you're enjoying. Ok, really must put the yucca in the next chapter, that's two requests. God knows how I'm going to do it.

Courtney: Yes, I'm updating slowly. Parts of this were really hard to write, that's what's taking so long. I'd rather post a good chapter to than a quick but only half-decent one. I'm halfway through the next chapter now. No doubt I'll come to a screeching halt soon!

Gabby: Glad you're still with me on this, since it was your idea. More slash will follow, I know it's kinda tame at the moment.

Tai: Ok, you're throwing LotR books at plants now? Have you ever seen "Day of the Triffids"? If that movie actually happens and carnivorous plants attack this planet I'm holding you personally responsible. There are aliens watching you attack plants, and they will get cross. Hark my words. I'm never wrong about these things. Admittedly I've never made such a prediction before, so I've never been right either, but you get what I'm saying, right? No? *shrugs* Fair play, I don't even know what I'm saying. It's midnight, I've been up since 6am and am not dealing with it well. Oh, and please share that Linda voodoo doll. Or set fire to it. Something nasty!

meme: Luis angst! Let's go! This boy needs more stories.

Charisma: I love you. *hugs* By the way, I loved your disturbing story. Post it, wench! *big kiss*