OK, I am posting this update because I haven't updated in a while and this chapter is getting pretty big. I just couldn't take seeing all 25 entries on this first page of FF.net be "Carby." That simply won't do. Come on Cordano writers, get writing! This chapter is moving at a snail's pace but sometimes that is what's needed, you know? I know where this is going (for a change) it's just taking a while to get out on paper. Thanks for hanging in there everyone. OH! And you might need to read the very last of the Chapter 22 before reading this one. Otherwise you might be a little lost with their conversation.
A heavy silence fell between them. Finally Elizabeth added, "well?"
"I thought your 'what' was rhetorical. I mean you did hear me."
Elizabeth was getting irritated and her voice grew louder as she asked, "What do you mean you're started operating again? Where? Who? When?"
Robert looked down to Ella who was starting to move a bit. Calmly he responded, "Lizzie, I promise to answer all of your questions but," he pointed down to Ella, "It took me nearly 30 minutes to get her to sleep. I'd rather not challenge that record again in the same day."
Elizabeth eyed him suspiciously. "What are you talking about?" She tried to imagine him in the daycare trying to put Ella to sleep. What would he do, recount his most favorite surgical studies?
"Could we step into the room next door? I promise, we'll hear her if she wakes up. I did, when she woke up earlier."
Elizabeth followed him out of her room, and into the room that was closed for repairs. She gasped as she saw the hospital bed complete with several of his tools and the computer from his basement. She walked around to the large, dark, wooden desk in the corner and sat down in his chair. "I thought Weaver threw this old things out," she said running her fingers along the edge.
"Oh please, make your self at home" he said mildly disgusted that she first insulted his desk and then took his only chair. Awkwardly he paced around the room and then sat down on the top of the hospital bed. He tried to slip into a superior role, as he was sitting higher than her, but he was really left feeling vulnerable. His legs hung off the bed, swinging a bit. It made him feel like a little boy. Yet she securely stayed in his oversized, leather, office chair.
"Well Robert you answered the 'where.' How about you shed some light on the 'who,' 'when,' and 'what' you have been operating with?"
Romano took a relaxing breath and revealed everything. He didn't want hold back anything. He told her about his work with Gallant and how he was there, when the two of them met up in the park. He told her about how Gretal had helped him with his physical therapy. He told her about how Weaver had come by his place, and while he was incredibly nervous having to reveal his home to her, that she was really accepting of his need to get back to work. He told her about how he gotten in and out of the hospital without being seen. He then told her about the one time he was caught, by Susan. And of course the one thing he left out, was the first question she asked.
"Why Robert? It's great what you have done but… why were you in such a hurry to get back here?"
"Don't you know?" he asked softly looking at his hands. He didn't see that Elizabeth shook her head. "I meant what I said at your house…"
Elizabeth was confused. He said a lot that night. Granted he said a lot less than she needed to hear, but she couldn't understand his meaning. She responded with the only thing she could think of, that wouldn't start and argument, "well, you were really honest."
He looked up from his hands to her, "Exactly. I mean I relieved that you noticed that. I… I just… well like I said, I needed to get back here. We do better here in the hospital."
Despite the time that had passed and the resolve she had created in her heart of him, Elizabeth felt butterflies to hear him speak of them as a "we." She was silent for a moment and then found her courage and answered, "I thought we did 'ok' out of the hospital."
Romano looked up at her confused. It was safer for them here at County. More professional. Why was she trying to get his hopes up again? Pity? After all this time? He was back in surgery. He didn't need her to feel sorry for him any more.
Elizabeth saw his brows furrow in confusion or frustration. Perhaps she was being too pushy to bring up their previous… closeness. He obviously looked uncomfortable by the discussion of it. She quickly changed the subject, "so Ella woke-up earlier?"
"Uh... yeah… I caught her trying to sneak out. I hope you have bars on her window at home. She's six months away from finding her Clyde and robbing liquor stores I figure."
Elizabeth closed her eyes and felt heat rise from her chest. She breathed calculated heavy breaths. She knew that if she wasn't careful this warming could bring tears. "Please Robert. Don't."
Robert stood from the bed wondering what he had done wrong. He crossed over to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. "I'm kidding Lizzie. Ella's great. I can see already she had the intelligence to never hook up with a guy, whose name, is only a stutter away from the synonym for having a collision."
Elizabeth burst into a chuckle. Unfortunately the shake in her reverence caused the tears to spill over her cheeks. Robert removed his hand from her shoulder and knelt down lower so they were level with one another. He spun the chair until she was facing him. "Hey, this is twice now. I know I ran last time. But I don't want to do that again. What can I say? I'm tired of the push and pull. Can you tell me what's going on? I don't want to wait a month for an answer."
Elizabeth sniffled loudly, "I was just thinking I barely know my own daughter." Elizabeth wiped at her tears as soon as they fell. She was embarrassed to be showing her emotion so freely, but she was too tired to fight. "She spends more time with the Nanny than she does with me. And now that the Nanny's out of town she spends all her waking hours at the daycare center here. I don't even know half of the staff's names over there. And tonight!" Her sadness was quickly giving was to bitter anger, "I mean ROBERT! I didn't even wake up when she walked out. YOU HAD TO TAKE CARE OF HER!"
"Hey, I know I'm not some 9 year resident, but I think I did ok."
"What?" She wiped the last of her tears and looked at him confused.
"While I recognize I don't have Carter's boyish good looks and full head of hair, but Ella didn't seem to mind spending an hour with me." He feigned some disappointment.
Elizabeth smiled, "that's not what I meant Robert, I just meant that it should have been me."
"I know what you meant but I couldn't help but notice you never thanked me. It really is all about you today isn't it."
"Thank you Robert" she said dryly.
"No, I don't think that's going to cut it. You owe me now."
"Oh really, and what is it that I owe you?"
"Well all this talk about what a bad mother you are… I think I deserve a viewing of your shortcomings."
"What? What do you mean?" Elizabeth was confused how quickly this conversation turned to him talking about her deficiencies.
"Relax, I'm not talking about having you drop her on her head or anything. How about the three of us get dinner together tonight? I mean the way you talk about not knowing your daughter I tend to think I shouldn't keep her in my vicinity tonight. I'd hate to have to comfort you tomorrow when you come in crying because you left her on some street corner."
Elizabeth agreed to his offer before the realization sunk in that he had just done the one thing he had been trying to avoid for the last month… contact with Lizzie outside of County General.