Notes: Shrinks, yuck; Duo, Heero and Quatre in a shower, yum! No citrus, though, Duo's still catatonic! But I do promise a 1x2x1 lime in the future, possibly a lemon. We'll see. Enjoy and review!
It was thirty minutes until Dr. Shaw walked in. He was a tall, lean man with dark skin and greying hair. He attempted a smile, but it faded when he saw that he was faced with four very not-friendly, not-happy lethal Gundam pilots. He sat down at his desk and stacked some files before looking at us.
"Alright. My name is Dr. Shaw and I've been assigned to talk to one Mr. Duo Maxwell. I take it that's him?" He gestured to Duo, who didn't acknowledge him at all.
"That's him," I grunted.
"Could you tell me what's the basic problem?"
"How about the fact that he's fifteen and has a higher body-count than most middle-aged war veterans?" Wufei growled. "Or the fact that he has to be the God of Death? Or the fact that he has to kill anyone who he knows he's a Gundam pilot? Or it could be the fact that he just had to kill over a hundred civilians, including children, because he was told to. Take your fucking pick, Doctor."
Dr. Shaw blinked. I glanced at Wufei. I'd never seen him so... angry; protective; intense.
"Alright, can I call him Duo?" Shaw asked.
"Hai," I said. "You can call him Duo."
"Good. Now, boys, Duo and I have to talk alone for a while, so perhaps you should go to the mess hall and get something to eat?"
"I don't think Duo will like me leaving."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. I'm pretty sure that the only reason he isn't completely freaking our right now is that I'm holding him."
Shaw raised his eyebrows and just looked at me, and the look was very eloquent. "I don't mean to be insulting, but I doubt that."
I shrugged mentally and stood up, taking Duo with me. Gently, I pulled away from him, and he gave a strangled scream, reaching for me again. I carefully fended off his attempts.
"Duo, I have to go, alright? I have to go now." But he didn't seem to hear me. His eyes were wide and feverish, desperate, and he clutched at me again. I looked at Shaw, who was watching us intently. "He needs me here," I said, letting Duo grip my body without responding.
Shaw sighed. "Alright. I need to think on this for a moment. Why don't all five of you go down to the mess hall and bring Duo back here in an hour?"
We left without anyone asking me if Duo could eat. We found the mess hall easily, and as soon as we stepped through the doors, pretty much all noise stopped and everyone looked at us. The others moved up to stand protectively around Duo, who was clutching at my waist with an iron grip while I held him in a gentle but firm grip.
"Yuy, go find a table," Wufei said. "We'll get some food."
"Right. Soup, if they have it." I spotted a table near the back corner and walked towards it, glaring at anyone who dared meet my eyes. As soon as I sat down, Duo tried to climb into my lap, and after hesitating for a moment, I let him. If any of the people watching wanted to make an issue of it, they could spend the rest of their lives in the infirmary. Simple as that.
"Duo, can you hear me?" I muttered, watching his eyes. He looked at me with his haunted violet eyes, and something registered in them. I almost didn't see it, but I think he did see me, hear me. "Duo, we're going to help you, alright? We're going to make you better. But you have to want our help. You have to let us help you. "
"So little," Duo whimpered, burying his face in my shoulder, and I could hear all the pain and the sorrow and the guilt and the anguish in his voice. It very nearly broke me. I sighed and wrapped my arms around him and... lied.
"No more killing, Duo," I murmured into his ear, closing my eyes. "I promise, no more killing. No more killing."
The others walked over, Trowa and Quatre balancing two trays each. Both trays held coffee, sandwich, and soup, chicken and vegetable. Duo's favourite soup was tomato, but he didn't mind chicken and vegetable. I raised a spoonful of soup to Duo's lips, holding tight to stop the rocking, and he let me spoon feed him almost all of the soup. I could feel the soldiers in the room watching us, talking, but just ignored them. Once Duo had eaten the soup, I checked his temperature again, and found it had raised two degrees. I picked up half of the sandwich and held it to his lips.
"Duo, could you take a bite of sandwich for me?" I asked quietly. "You need something solid inside you. Please? Duo?"
Duo ignored me and began rocking again. I sighed, putting the sandwich down. I ignored my lunch, too, just taking a quick sip of coffee.
"If I hear the words 'poor little kid' one more time, I'm going to hurt someone," Wufei growled. I'd been ignoring the soldiers, but now that I listened, I could hear the words repeatedly, from various places in the room. "That's it." Wufei pushed himself up and stood on the table. "Listen up, pathetic onnas! We are Gundam pilots, and we are different! We face horrors every day that you can't imagine! We live forever alone, forever killing, and don't complain! My companion here is fifteen and has earned the title Shinigami, the God of Death! He has known only killing, only pain, for his entire life! And murdering over a hundred innocent people has finally made him snap! So shut the fuck up, leave us alone, or we will kill you all!"
Silence. You could've heard a pin drop. Wufei sat back down very calmly, and sipped his coffee. I glanced at Duo and found that, while his rocking had not ceased, his eyes were now fixed on Wufei. Wufei noticed and looked back. After a moment of silent eye contact, the Chinese pilot nodded his head in the best bow he could manage from his position, and went back to his meal.
We left the mess hall quickly, with half an hour to waste. To fill the time, we went to the room we'd been given, away from the barracks. It was a simple room with five narrow cots and five empty footlockers. We didn't unpack.
Quatre sighed, sitting down on his cot. Silently, Trowa sat down beside him and began massaging his shoulders. I wondered if Trowa felt the same way about Quatre that Quatre felt about him.
"Maxwell could use a shower," Wufei said quietly into the heavy silence.
"Hai," I muttered. Duo obviously hadn't showered in a few days, and quite badly needed one.
"We'll clear out the showers," Trowa murmured, giving Quatre's shoulders a final squeeze before standing up. He gestured to Wufei and they left. Quatre moved to Duo's duffel bags and found his 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner, and towel. He hesitated, looking at Duo, who was curled in my lap.
"One of us will need to hold him, and another to wash him," he muttered nervously.
"I hold, you wash."
"You sure?"
"Hai. We'll leave all our boxers on."
"Of course. Can you carry him?"
"Of course." I stood up, shifting Duo's weight. Quatre opened the door, and we walked down to the showers. Wufei and Trowa were standing outside the double doors, guns in hand, threatening glints in their eyes. I trusted them to make sure no one walked in. Few people would question someone with a gun, and fewer still would question a Gundam pilot with a gun.
The showers were one of those large communal ones with no stalls, which was okay, because we were alone. Quatre stripped to his boxers-white silk-and helped me strip Duo to his plain black ones. It was harder for me to get undressed, because Duo wouldn't let go of me, so eventually Quatre ended up pulling off my dress shirt and tank top while I held Duo away from my body. Then we had to stand up, and Quatre had to unzip my jeans. Letting him undress me would have been embarrassing, if we weren't think so hard about the reason he was undressing me.
Once we were all in our boxers, we stepped into the showers and turned on the water. Duo's legs were not up to holding any of his weight, so I did, while Quatre grabbed a bar of soap and a washcloth and started to wash his thin, trembling body. I have to give Quatre credit for being totally professional. He could've been washing a car, for all anyone else knew.
The water was seriously nice against my skin, hard and hot, and I realized just how tense I was. Don't tell anyone, but a long, hot shower is one of the few things I truly enjoy. I rolled my head and shoulders, trying to relax, but for some strange reason, I couldn't. Go figure.
Quatre bit his lip, looking at me, "Um, we should wash his, um, private area."
"Just do it, Quatre. I don't think he knows what we're doing anyway."
His face a furious red, Quatre peeled down Duo's wet boxers and quickly cleaned the exposed flesh, before replacing the boxers. No, I didn't watch. Quatre pulled the band out of Duo's hair and worked out the kinks, eyes widening at the sight of Duo with his hair down. Even under the circumstances, I could appreciate Duo's beauty, or maybe because of the circumstances. Duo was so troubled, so haunted, and yet, so beautiful. Inside, he was fighting demons, but outside, he looked like an angel. Gods, when did I get so poetic?
Washing Duo's hair took a bloody long time, and I divided my attention between supporting Duo, and making sure he didn't get soap in his eyes. Just as we were rinsing out the soap, we heard angry voices. I listened and heard Wufei shouting, "Leave now or I break your arm!"
"I want a shower!" an unknown voice retorted.
"The showers are busy!"
"Stinking Gundam pilots! Think you can do whatever the fuck you like because you're so hard done-by! Poor little kids, asked to be soldiers! You're pathetic!"
Then came the hard sound of a bone breaking, then of flesh hitting flesh, and a small thump, presumably the now-unconscious soldier falling to the floor. Wufei did give him a warning, probably several. It was the soldier's fault. And even if it wasn't, we'd have found a way to make it look like it was.
"Alright, he's done," Quatre announced, turning off the water. He grabbed the towel and quickly dried his body, before drying Duo's. He patted me down, and then wrapped the towel around Duo's hair to stop it dripping. Our boxers were soaked, but we ignored it and dressed.
When we opened the door, we found Wufei and Trowa completely ignoring the unconscious soldier on the floor. They glanced at us and put their guns away.
When we got back to the room, I had everyone look away before redressing Duo in different black boxers, black jeans, black tank top, and heavy black sweater. Getting myself dressed was harder, but I managed it, changing into different boxers, jeans, and forest green tee shirt. I took the towel off Duo's hair and dried it a little more, before taking the brush from Quatre.
Brushing Duo's hair was... oddly intimate. I don't know why, but it was. I shrugged mentally, and concentrated on getting out all the tangles. His hair was darker when it was wet, a dark brown like mine. It didn't suit his complexion. I liked him with golden-chestnut hair, naturally streaked with blonde and auburn. I expected to have trouble braiding his hair, as I've never done it before, but I found it was easy, probably because I'd seen him do it so often.
"We're ten minutes late," Wufei commented as we walked down the corridor to Shaw's office. I glanced at him over Duo's head.
"So?"
"Just saying."
I knew he hadn't meant it as a reproach. Quatre is the only one of us who doesn't mind shrinks, but I think even he wasn't happy to be here. We wanted Duo better, sure, but... well, we didn't like getting outside help. We were a family, and we tried to handle all problems internally. We're just protective that way.
Shaw was sitting at his desk, writing something in a file. He glanced up at us and frowned. We just smiled-yes, me included-and took up our previous positions.
"Alright, I've thought about it, and reviewed your files, and decided that if Duo is to recover, he is going to need help."
"Well duh," Quatre said.
"I would ask all of you to leave, other than Mr. Yuy."
"No," Wufei said flatly. "We aren't leaving."
"Mr. Chang-"
"Duo is ours to protect, ours to care for, ours to help. You deal with him, you deal with us. We aren't leaving."
"H-H-H-H-Heero?" The voice was just the breath of a whisper, but we all heard it, and we all looked at Duo. He was looking up at me with wide, frightened eyes. "H-Heero, I'm so cold."
My arms tightened around him almost of their own accord. "I've got you, Duo. We're all here."
"T-They were so innocent. And I killed them. All dead. All dead. All dead." The tears started then, rolling down his cheeks. I was vaguely aware of Trowa and Wufei bodily removing Shaw, but all my attention was focused on Duo. The tears were slow and silent, almost as if he weren't crying, but his eyes were leaking.
Then something inside him seemed to snap, and he began to cry in earnest, huge sobs wracking his body, the tears coming faster. He clutched at me as if I were all that were holding him on the edge of the black pit, and I clutched him back with a matching fierceness. Come tomorrow, we'd both be bruised.
A pair of arms wrapped around us, and I blinked at Quatre. He was crying, too, but not as hard as Duo. Then Trowa embraced us, followed by Wufei, so that we were all holding onto Duo, surrounding him with our bodies, our warmth, our protection.
I have no idea how long Duo cried, it seemed like an eternity, but eventually, he stopped, and went still in our arms. When I looked, he'd fallen asleep. This was the first natural sleep he'd had since the nightmare, and I doubted it would be all that peaceful for long. Trowa checked his pulse and temperature.
"He's... better," he murmured, frowning slightly.
"Better?"
"Pulse, stronger, steadier; temperature, rising. Come on, let's... get him into a bed. He needs to rest."
I didn't voice my doubts about Duo actually getting rest, because we were all so desperately trying to be positive. I stood up, with some help from Trowa, and carried Duo down the corridor to our room. I laid Duo down in the bed, but when I tried to leave, he moaned and reached for me. Smiling softly, I laid down beside him, and he settled easily into the curve of my body, as if he were made to lie there.
"They look so... peaceful, like that," Quatre murmured to Trowa, and I blushed, looking away. Duo began to shiver again, but his skin was warm, so it had nothing to do with the temperature.
"Is he warm enough?" Wufei asked, noticing Duo's shivers. I sighed.
"On the outside, yeah. On the inside, no."
They didn't ask what I meant, because they all knew. They'd all felt that horrible ice consume their heart, their soul. I'd felt it twice. Once after murdering one hundred and seventy-three innocent civilians (and one little puppy), once after the New Edwards disaster. I didn't want to feel like that again, and I so desperately wanted to get that iciness out of Duo. He was the warmest person I'd ever met-when he wasn't being Shinigami-and I wanted him to stay that way.
"It's alright, Duo," I whispered. "It's alright. Nothing can hurt you here. I'll protect you. It's alright. I'm here. I'll always be here." And, surprisingly, it worked. He stopped shivering and just lay there. I blinked, and kept talking to him. "I won't let anything hurt you, Duo. I'll protect you. I won't let anything hurt you. I'm here. I'll always be here."
It was thirty minutes until Dr. Shaw walked in. He was a tall, lean man with dark skin and greying hair. He attempted a smile, but it faded when he saw that he was faced with four very not-friendly, not-happy lethal Gundam pilots. He sat down at his desk and stacked some files before looking at us.
"Alright. My name is Dr. Shaw and I've been assigned to talk to one Mr. Duo Maxwell. I take it that's him?" He gestured to Duo, who didn't acknowledge him at all.
"That's him," I grunted.
"Could you tell me what's the basic problem?"
"How about the fact that he's fifteen and has a higher body-count than most middle-aged war veterans?" Wufei growled. "Or the fact that he has to be the God of Death? Or the fact that he has to kill anyone who he knows he's a Gundam pilot? Or it could be the fact that he just had to kill over a hundred civilians, including children, because he was told to. Take your fucking pick, Doctor."
Dr. Shaw blinked. I glanced at Wufei. I'd never seen him so... angry; protective; intense.
"Alright, can I call him Duo?" Shaw asked.
"Hai," I said. "You can call him Duo."
"Good. Now, boys, Duo and I have to talk alone for a while, so perhaps you should go to the mess hall and get something to eat?"
"I don't think Duo will like me leaving."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. I'm pretty sure that the only reason he isn't completely freaking our right now is that I'm holding him."
Shaw raised his eyebrows and just looked at me, and the look was very eloquent. "I don't mean to be insulting, but I doubt that."
I shrugged mentally and stood up, taking Duo with me. Gently, I pulled away from him, and he gave a strangled scream, reaching for me again. I carefully fended off his attempts.
"Duo, I have to go, alright? I have to go now." But he didn't seem to hear me. His eyes were wide and feverish, desperate, and he clutched at me again. I looked at Shaw, who was watching us intently. "He needs me here," I said, letting Duo grip my body without responding.
Shaw sighed. "Alright. I need to think on this for a moment. Why don't all five of you go down to the mess hall and bring Duo back here in an hour?"
We left without anyone asking me if Duo could eat. We found the mess hall easily, and as soon as we stepped through the doors, pretty much all noise stopped and everyone looked at us. The others moved up to stand protectively around Duo, who was clutching at my waist with an iron grip while I held him in a gentle but firm grip.
"Yuy, go find a table," Wufei said. "We'll get some food."
"Right. Soup, if they have it." I spotted a table near the back corner and walked towards it, glaring at anyone who dared meet my eyes. As soon as I sat down, Duo tried to climb into my lap, and after hesitating for a moment, I let him. If any of the people watching wanted to make an issue of it, they could spend the rest of their lives in the infirmary. Simple as that.
"Duo, can you hear me?" I muttered, watching his eyes. He looked at me with his haunted violet eyes, and something registered in them. I almost didn't see it, but I think he did see me, hear me. "Duo, we're going to help you, alright? We're going to make you better. But you have to want our help. You have to let us help you. "
"So little," Duo whimpered, burying his face in my shoulder, and I could hear all the pain and the sorrow and the guilt and the anguish in his voice. It very nearly broke me. I sighed and wrapped my arms around him and... lied.
"No more killing, Duo," I murmured into his ear, closing my eyes. "I promise, no more killing. No more killing."
The others walked over, Trowa and Quatre balancing two trays each. Both trays held coffee, sandwich, and soup, chicken and vegetable. Duo's favourite soup was tomato, but he didn't mind chicken and vegetable. I raised a spoonful of soup to Duo's lips, holding tight to stop the rocking, and he let me spoon feed him almost all of the soup. I could feel the soldiers in the room watching us, talking, but just ignored them. Once Duo had eaten the soup, I checked his temperature again, and found it had raised two degrees. I picked up half of the sandwich and held it to his lips.
"Duo, could you take a bite of sandwich for me?" I asked quietly. "You need something solid inside you. Please? Duo?"
Duo ignored me and began rocking again. I sighed, putting the sandwich down. I ignored my lunch, too, just taking a quick sip of coffee.
"If I hear the words 'poor little kid' one more time, I'm going to hurt someone," Wufei growled. I'd been ignoring the soldiers, but now that I listened, I could hear the words repeatedly, from various places in the room. "That's it." Wufei pushed himself up and stood on the table. "Listen up, pathetic onnas! We are Gundam pilots, and we are different! We face horrors every day that you can't imagine! We live forever alone, forever killing, and don't complain! My companion here is fifteen and has earned the title Shinigami, the God of Death! He has known only killing, only pain, for his entire life! And murdering over a hundred innocent people has finally made him snap! So shut the fuck up, leave us alone, or we will kill you all!"
Silence. You could've heard a pin drop. Wufei sat back down very calmly, and sipped his coffee. I glanced at Duo and found that, while his rocking had not ceased, his eyes were now fixed on Wufei. Wufei noticed and looked back. After a moment of silent eye contact, the Chinese pilot nodded his head in the best bow he could manage from his position, and went back to his meal.
We left the mess hall quickly, with half an hour to waste. To fill the time, we went to the room we'd been given, away from the barracks. It was a simple room with five narrow cots and five empty footlockers. We didn't unpack.
Quatre sighed, sitting down on his cot. Silently, Trowa sat down beside him and began massaging his shoulders. I wondered if Trowa felt the same way about Quatre that Quatre felt about him.
"Maxwell could use a shower," Wufei said quietly into the heavy silence.
"Hai," I muttered. Duo obviously hadn't showered in a few days, and quite badly needed one.
"We'll clear out the showers," Trowa murmured, giving Quatre's shoulders a final squeeze before standing up. He gestured to Wufei and they left. Quatre moved to Duo's duffel bags and found his 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner, and towel. He hesitated, looking at Duo, who was curled in my lap.
"One of us will need to hold him, and another to wash him," he muttered nervously.
"I hold, you wash."
"You sure?"
"Hai. We'll leave all our boxers on."
"Of course. Can you carry him?"
"Of course." I stood up, shifting Duo's weight. Quatre opened the door, and we walked down to the showers. Wufei and Trowa were standing outside the double doors, guns in hand, threatening glints in their eyes. I trusted them to make sure no one walked in. Few people would question someone with a gun, and fewer still would question a Gundam pilot with a gun.
The showers were one of those large communal ones with no stalls, which was okay, because we were alone. Quatre stripped to his boxers-white silk-and helped me strip Duo to his plain black ones. It was harder for me to get undressed, because Duo wouldn't let go of me, so eventually Quatre ended up pulling off my dress shirt and tank top while I held Duo away from my body. Then we had to stand up, and Quatre had to unzip my jeans. Letting him undress me would have been embarrassing, if we weren't think so hard about the reason he was undressing me.
Once we were all in our boxers, we stepped into the showers and turned on the water. Duo's legs were not up to holding any of his weight, so I did, while Quatre grabbed a bar of soap and a washcloth and started to wash his thin, trembling body. I have to give Quatre credit for being totally professional. He could've been washing a car, for all anyone else knew.
The water was seriously nice against my skin, hard and hot, and I realized just how tense I was. Don't tell anyone, but a long, hot shower is one of the few things I truly enjoy. I rolled my head and shoulders, trying to relax, but for some strange reason, I couldn't. Go figure.
Quatre bit his lip, looking at me, "Um, we should wash his, um, private area."
"Just do it, Quatre. I don't think he knows what we're doing anyway."
His face a furious red, Quatre peeled down Duo's wet boxers and quickly cleaned the exposed flesh, before replacing the boxers. No, I didn't watch. Quatre pulled the band out of Duo's hair and worked out the kinks, eyes widening at the sight of Duo with his hair down. Even under the circumstances, I could appreciate Duo's beauty, or maybe because of the circumstances. Duo was so troubled, so haunted, and yet, so beautiful. Inside, he was fighting demons, but outside, he looked like an angel. Gods, when did I get so poetic?
Washing Duo's hair took a bloody long time, and I divided my attention between supporting Duo, and making sure he didn't get soap in his eyes. Just as we were rinsing out the soap, we heard angry voices. I listened and heard Wufei shouting, "Leave now or I break your arm!"
"I want a shower!" an unknown voice retorted.
"The showers are busy!"
"Stinking Gundam pilots! Think you can do whatever the fuck you like because you're so hard done-by! Poor little kids, asked to be soldiers! You're pathetic!"
Then came the hard sound of a bone breaking, then of flesh hitting flesh, and a small thump, presumably the now-unconscious soldier falling to the floor. Wufei did give him a warning, probably several. It was the soldier's fault. And even if it wasn't, we'd have found a way to make it look like it was.
"Alright, he's done," Quatre announced, turning off the water. He grabbed the towel and quickly dried his body, before drying Duo's. He patted me down, and then wrapped the towel around Duo's hair to stop it dripping. Our boxers were soaked, but we ignored it and dressed.
When we opened the door, we found Wufei and Trowa completely ignoring the unconscious soldier on the floor. They glanced at us and put their guns away.
When we got back to the room, I had everyone look away before redressing Duo in different black boxers, black jeans, black tank top, and heavy black sweater. Getting myself dressed was harder, but I managed it, changing into different boxers, jeans, and forest green tee shirt. I took the towel off Duo's hair and dried it a little more, before taking the brush from Quatre.
Brushing Duo's hair was... oddly intimate. I don't know why, but it was. I shrugged mentally, and concentrated on getting out all the tangles. His hair was darker when it was wet, a dark brown like mine. It didn't suit his complexion. I liked him with golden-chestnut hair, naturally streaked with blonde and auburn. I expected to have trouble braiding his hair, as I've never done it before, but I found it was easy, probably because I'd seen him do it so often.
"We're ten minutes late," Wufei commented as we walked down the corridor to Shaw's office. I glanced at him over Duo's head.
"So?"
"Just saying."
I knew he hadn't meant it as a reproach. Quatre is the only one of us who doesn't mind shrinks, but I think even he wasn't happy to be here. We wanted Duo better, sure, but... well, we didn't like getting outside help. We were a family, and we tried to handle all problems internally. We're just protective that way.
Shaw was sitting at his desk, writing something in a file. He glanced up at us and frowned. We just smiled-yes, me included-and took up our previous positions.
"Alright, I've thought about it, and reviewed your files, and decided that if Duo is to recover, he is going to need help."
"Well duh," Quatre said.
"I would ask all of you to leave, other than Mr. Yuy."
"No," Wufei said flatly. "We aren't leaving."
"Mr. Chang-"
"Duo is ours to protect, ours to care for, ours to help. You deal with him, you deal with us. We aren't leaving."
"H-H-H-H-Heero?" The voice was just the breath of a whisper, but we all heard it, and we all looked at Duo. He was looking up at me with wide, frightened eyes. "H-Heero, I'm so cold."
My arms tightened around him almost of their own accord. "I've got you, Duo. We're all here."
"T-They were so innocent. And I killed them. All dead. All dead. All dead." The tears started then, rolling down his cheeks. I was vaguely aware of Trowa and Wufei bodily removing Shaw, but all my attention was focused on Duo. The tears were slow and silent, almost as if he weren't crying, but his eyes were leaking.
Then something inside him seemed to snap, and he began to cry in earnest, huge sobs wracking his body, the tears coming faster. He clutched at me as if I were all that were holding him on the edge of the black pit, and I clutched him back with a matching fierceness. Come tomorrow, we'd both be bruised.
A pair of arms wrapped around us, and I blinked at Quatre. He was crying, too, but not as hard as Duo. Then Trowa embraced us, followed by Wufei, so that we were all holding onto Duo, surrounding him with our bodies, our warmth, our protection.
I have no idea how long Duo cried, it seemed like an eternity, but eventually, he stopped, and went still in our arms. When I looked, he'd fallen asleep. This was the first natural sleep he'd had since the nightmare, and I doubted it would be all that peaceful for long. Trowa checked his pulse and temperature.
"He's... better," he murmured, frowning slightly.
"Better?"
"Pulse, stronger, steadier; temperature, rising. Come on, let's... get him into a bed. He needs to rest."
I didn't voice my doubts about Duo actually getting rest, because we were all so desperately trying to be positive. I stood up, with some help from Trowa, and carried Duo down the corridor to our room. I laid Duo down in the bed, but when I tried to leave, he moaned and reached for me. Smiling softly, I laid down beside him, and he settled easily into the curve of my body, as if he were made to lie there.
"They look so... peaceful, like that," Quatre murmured to Trowa, and I blushed, looking away. Duo began to shiver again, but his skin was warm, so it had nothing to do with the temperature.
"Is he warm enough?" Wufei asked, noticing Duo's shivers. I sighed.
"On the outside, yeah. On the inside, no."
They didn't ask what I meant, because they all knew. They'd all felt that horrible ice consume their heart, their soul. I'd felt it twice. Once after murdering one hundred and seventy-three innocent civilians (and one little puppy), once after the New Edwards disaster. I didn't want to feel like that again, and I so desperately wanted to get that iciness out of Duo. He was the warmest person I'd ever met-when he wasn't being Shinigami-and I wanted him to stay that way.
"It's alright, Duo," I whispered. "It's alright. Nothing can hurt you here. I'll protect you. It's alright. I'm here. I'll always be here." And, surprisingly, it worked. He stopped shivering and just lay there. I blinked, and kept talking to him. "I won't let anything hurt you, Duo. I'll protect you. I won't let anything hurt you. I'm here. I'll always be here."