Notes: Short chapter, but it's kinda sappy/angsty, as the boys are leaving Marianne, and Heero gets all mushy about her.
This chapter is dedicated to cyberdistroyer, for your lovely reviews and because you liked my story enough to cry. Enjoy and review!
Then we had to leave. Our two weeks of vacation were over, Duo was nearly completely healed, and there were fights to be fought, targets to be killed, people to save, pain to be felt.
We were all pretty subdued that morning, trying to cling to the fading shreds of normality we'd gathered in our hearts. Marianne seemed just as quiet as us, and I had to wonder if she would actually miss us.
Duo took it worst of all, not surprisingly. This had been the place where he'd felt normal, where he'd been at peace, and now he had to leave it and go back to fighting and pain and blood and death. I hated to see that look of sorrow in his eyes, but I couldn't help it. We had to leave.
We left at lunchtime, our stomachs full of turkey stew with dumplings-Duo's favourite. Marianne hugged each of us in turn, whispering her goodbyes and good lucks. She told Quatre that he had the sweetest soul she'd ever seen, and that he shouldn't tarnish it with his doubts and self-hatred. She told Trowa that he had an amazing mind and shouldn't be afraid of opening up more to those who cared about him. She told Wufei that he had a strong sense of justice, but shouldn't be blinded by it and to accept help from those around him occasionally. She told me that I had a pure heart, battered as it was, and that I shouldn't be afraid of letting people get close to me.
I don't know what she told Duo, because she spoke too low for me to hear, but whatever it was made him smile and hug her extra tight. A sparkling tear rolled down his cheek, and my heart lurched painfully at the sight. Marianne had meant more to him than the rest of us, because he had seen in her the mother he never knew, and the adoptive mother he'd lost so early. He'd seen in her all the good things he'd not had in his life, and had been able to cling to them for just a little while. Marianne would always be important to him, that I could tell, and I had to wonder if we would ever see her again. A small part of me hoped we would.
Trowa drove, by silent mutual consent. We had 'borrowed' a nice dark blue SUV, with plenty of room for us and our gear, so Duo was able to curl up next to me for the long drive. He seemed to need to touch me, and had barely left my side all morning. I wasn't complaining all that much. I was happy to just have him pressed against me and stroke his braid.
Wufei was on my other side, absently doodling in his sketchpad. I glanced at hthe page and saw it was a little Duo-neko, like in all those anime shows Duo loved. He looked rather cute, actually, and Wufei had a little smile on his face. I wondered what Duo would think of the picture.
Duo mumbled something incoherent, and I realised he had fallen asleep. I dropped a kiss on the top of his head, and shifted slightly so that his elbow wasn't digging into me quite so much.
"I hope we see her again," Quatre said quietly, sighing.
"If she survives this war, I'll make sure of it," I replied, and it was true. If we all survived the war, I'd make sure that Duo got to see Marianne again, no matter what it took. I would do anything to see Duo so happy again, so... peaceful.
And if I was being completely truthful with myself, I had to admit that I actually wanted to see her again. Marianne had shown me something I didn't think anyone could: she had shown me what a home was like. She had given me, albeit briefly, a chance to live in a home with a... semi-normal family. I had always been on the outside, looking in, watching but never involved, and she had opened the door and welcomed me inside. She had shown me that I wasn't just the Perfect Soldier, Gundam pilot and assassin, but that I was a person, too. I was a human being with feelings and emotions and wants and needs. She had not been horrified by the blood staining my hands, or terrified by my gruesome skills. She had liked me because I was me. She had done what Wufei had hinted at, she had liked me because I was who and what I was. She had... loved me.
We had orders to go to a new safe house, but we had to retrieve our Gundams first, so we went back to the one we had been using. I'd forgotten, somehow, just what the Gundams were. They were the most brutal weapons of mass destruction in the world, with the most advanced technology around that we used for killing. I don't know why I forgot that, but I did.
So I was entirely unprepared for Duo to freeze in the hanger doorway, staring with wide, frightened eyes at the black Gundam he piloted. I frowned, and then it clicked, and I cursed myself for being such an idiot. I took a step back to him and touched his arm. He jumped like he'd been shot, and swung his terrified gaze to me.
"Duo?" I asked softly, searching his eyes for... something.
"I... I can't. God, Heero, I can't."
Shit. I knew he wasn't ready for combat yet, but... I had hoped he could pilot his Gundam. Apparently not. Now what were going to do? I couldn't pilot two Gundams at the same time, and a cockpit wasn't built for two.
"Maxwell, you are not going on a mission," Wufei said quietly. "You are not going to kill anyone. You are not going to be Shinigami. You are merely flying your Gundam to another location. The only systems you need boot up are the flying and stealth ones. None of the weapons, not your scythe, nothing. I know you can do this."
Duo looked at him for a long time, searching for something in his onyx eyes. I don't know what it was, but apparently he found it, because he smiled shakily.
"I... I guess. I just... got scared."
"Understandable. The journey is a short one, and we will have constant communication. You can even play your obnoxious music if you absolutely must, though how you can call that music is beyond me."
Duo's trademark grin flashed into action then. "Just because it's got drums and guitars and an actual rhythm that you can dance to does not make it non-music! Not everyone likes that boring classical stuff, ya know!"
"It is not boring, Maxwell, it is soothing."
"Only because it has the ability to put anyone instantly to sleep."
"That is your opinion, Maxwell, not the world's."
"I am the world."
"No you're not."
I frowned and watched the two of them banter as they walked to the Gundams. Was I missing something? What the hell was going on? And how did Wufei know? I was supposed to know Duo's heart, and yet he was the one helping my love. That just didn't make sense.
Shrugging, I walked to my own Gundam and keyed in the password, sitting down in the command chair and strapping myself in. Running a quick systems check, I started up the engines and waited for the others before leaving.
Wufei opened a private com-line to my Gundam about five minutes into the journey, and he was smiling softly.
"He just needed to be distracted," he said without preamble. "A verbal sparing match with me meant that he couldn't think about piloting his Gundam. As long as he's distracted, it won't be a problem, he'll do everything else on auto-pilot, but when he doesn't have anything to distract him, he'll start thinking about all the other times he piloted Deathscythe, and he'll have a breakdown."
I frowned. "How do you know all that?" I asked, and he smiled again.
"It is something... Meiran taught me." Then he closed the link and left me gaping at a blank screen.
Well damn.
Wufei never talked about his wife, because it was too personal, too private, but I knew that he had loved her dearly. And I had seen in his eyes, when he said her name, a shining light that spoke of love and friendship and respect. It was a second before I realised I had seen that same light in his eyes when he looked at Duo. And that's when I knew: Wufei loved Duo.
So what did I do now? I had suspected this for days, and yet... I was still unsure of what to do. I wasn't really angry, or jealous, because that would be a bit hypocritical. I loved Duo, so it was perfectly understandable for someone else to as well. But... shouldn't I do something? I mean, Duo was mine and I was his and I wasn't going to share, so... I should do something. But what?
"I hate confusing relationships," I muttered to my Gundam, forgetting that I still had an open link to the others. I got a chorus of 'What?' and blushed uncomfortably.
"Nothing, just thinking aloud," I mumbled, staring at my hands as they gripped the controls.
"Heero, you okay?" Duo's concerned voice asked, and I glanced at his image.
"Sure. A little tired, I guess."
"You didn't sleep last night."
"Not... really."
"You are going to bed as soon as we land." His voice held a firm, determined tone that I'd learned not to argue with. When Duo decides he wants something, he gets it. I sighed and nodded meekly.
"Alright, love."
"Good boy." He grinned at me, eyes sparkling with mischief, and I couldn't help but smile back.
This chapter is dedicated to cyberdistroyer, for your lovely reviews and because you liked my story enough to cry. Enjoy and review!
Then we had to leave. Our two weeks of vacation were over, Duo was nearly completely healed, and there were fights to be fought, targets to be killed, people to save, pain to be felt.
We were all pretty subdued that morning, trying to cling to the fading shreds of normality we'd gathered in our hearts. Marianne seemed just as quiet as us, and I had to wonder if she would actually miss us.
Duo took it worst of all, not surprisingly. This had been the place where he'd felt normal, where he'd been at peace, and now he had to leave it and go back to fighting and pain and blood and death. I hated to see that look of sorrow in his eyes, but I couldn't help it. We had to leave.
We left at lunchtime, our stomachs full of turkey stew with dumplings-Duo's favourite. Marianne hugged each of us in turn, whispering her goodbyes and good lucks. She told Quatre that he had the sweetest soul she'd ever seen, and that he shouldn't tarnish it with his doubts and self-hatred. She told Trowa that he had an amazing mind and shouldn't be afraid of opening up more to those who cared about him. She told Wufei that he had a strong sense of justice, but shouldn't be blinded by it and to accept help from those around him occasionally. She told me that I had a pure heart, battered as it was, and that I shouldn't be afraid of letting people get close to me.
I don't know what she told Duo, because she spoke too low for me to hear, but whatever it was made him smile and hug her extra tight. A sparkling tear rolled down his cheek, and my heart lurched painfully at the sight. Marianne had meant more to him than the rest of us, because he had seen in her the mother he never knew, and the adoptive mother he'd lost so early. He'd seen in her all the good things he'd not had in his life, and had been able to cling to them for just a little while. Marianne would always be important to him, that I could tell, and I had to wonder if we would ever see her again. A small part of me hoped we would.
Trowa drove, by silent mutual consent. We had 'borrowed' a nice dark blue SUV, with plenty of room for us and our gear, so Duo was able to curl up next to me for the long drive. He seemed to need to touch me, and had barely left my side all morning. I wasn't complaining all that much. I was happy to just have him pressed against me and stroke his braid.
Wufei was on my other side, absently doodling in his sketchpad. I glanced at hthe page and saw it was a little Duo-neko, like in all those anime shows Duo loved. He looked rather cute, actually, and Wufei had a little smile on his face. I wondered what Duo would think of the picture.
Duo mumbled something incoherent, and I realised he had fallen asleep. I dropped a kiss on the top of his head, and shifted slightly so that his elbow wasn't digging into me quite so much.
"I hope we see her again," Quatre said quietly, sighing.
"If she survives this war, I'll make sure of it," I replied, and it was true. If we all survived the war, I'd make sure that Duo got to see Marianne again, no matter what it took. I would do anything to see Duo so happy again, so... peaceful.
And if I was being completely truthful with myself, I had to admit that I actually wanted to see her again. Marianne had shown me something I didn't think anyone could: she had shown me what a home was like. She had given me, albeit briefly, a chance to live in a home with a... semi-normal family. I had always been on the outside, looking in, watching but never involved, and she had opened the door and welcomed me inside. She had shown me that I wasn't just the Perfect Soldier, Gundam pilot and assassin, but that I was a person, too. I was a human being with feelings and emotions and wants and needs. She had not been horrified by the blood staining my hands, or terrified by my gruesome skills. She had liked me because I was me. She had done what Wufei had hinted at, she had liked me because I was who and what I was. She had... loved me.
We had orders to go to a new safe house, but we had to retrieve our Gundams first, so we went back to the one we had been using. I'd forgotten, somehow, just what the Gundams were. They were the most brutal weapons of mass destruction in the world, with the most advanced technology around that we used for killing. I don't know why I forgot that, but I did.
So I was entirely unprepared for Duo to freeze in the hanger doorway, staring with wide, frightened eyes at the black Gundam he piloted. I frowned, and then it clicked, and I cursed myself for being such an idiot. I took a step back to him and touched his arm. He jumped like he'd been shot, and swung his terrified gaze to me.
"Duo?" I asked softly, searching his eyes for... something.
"I... I can't. God, Heero, I can't."
Shit. I knew he wasn't ready for combat yet, but... I had hoped he could pilot his Gundam. Apparently not. Now what were going to do? I couldn't pilot two Gundams at the same time, and a cockpit wasn't built for two.
"Maxwell, you are not going on a mission," Wufei said quietly. "You are not going to kill anyone. You are not going to be Shinigami. You are merely flying your Gundam to another location. The only systems you need boot up are the flying and stealth ones. None of the weapons, not your scythe, nothing. I know you can do this."
Duo looked at him for a long time, searching for something in his onyx eyes. I don't know what it was, but apparently he found it, because he smiled shakily.
"I... I guess. I just... got scared."
"Understandable. The journey is a short one, and we will have constant communication. You can even play your obnoxious music if you absolutely must, though how you can call that music is beyond me."
Duo's trademark grin flashed into action then. "Just because it's got drums and guitars and an actual rhythm that you can dance to does not make it non-music! Not everyone likes that boring classical stuff, ya know!"
"It is not boring, Maxwell, it is soothing."
"Only because it has the ability to put anyone instantly to sleep."
"That is your opinion, Maxwell, not the world's."
"I am the world."
"No you're not."
I frowned and watched the two of them banter as they walked to the Gundams. Was I missing something? What the hell was going on? And how did Wufei know? I was supposed to know Duo's heart, and yet he was the one helping my love. That just didn't make sense.
Shrugging, I walked to my own Gundam and keyed in the password, sitting down in the command chair and strapping myself in. Running a quick systems check, I started up the engines and waited for the others before leaving.
Wufei opened a private com-line to my Gundam about five minutes into the journey, and he was smiling softly.
"He just needed to be distracted," he said without preamble. "A verbal sparing match with me meant that he couldn't think about piloting his Gundam. As long as he's distracted, it won't be a problem, he'll do everything else on auto-pilot, but when he doesn't have anything to distract him, he'll start thinking about all the other times he piloted Deathscythe, and he'll have a breakdown."
I frowned. "How do you know all that?" I asked, and he smiled again.
"It is something... Meiran taught me." Then he closed the link and left me gaping at a blank screen.
Well damn.
Wufei never talked about his wife, because it was too personal, too private, but I knew that he had loved her dearly. And I had seen in his eyes, when he said her name, a shining light that spoke of love and friendship and respect. It was a second before I realised I had seen that same light in his eyes when he looked at Duo. And that's when I knew: Wufei loved Duo.
So what did I do now? I had suspected this for days, and yet... I was still unsure of what to do. I wasn't really angry, or jealous, because that would be a bit hypocritical. I loved Duo, so it was perfectly understandable for someone else to as well. But... shouldn't I do something? I mean, Duo was mine and I was his and I wasn't going to share, so... I should do something. But what?
"I hate confusing relationships," I muttered to my Gundam, forgetting that I still had an open link to the others. I got a chorus of 'What?' and blushed uncomfortably.
"Nothing, just thinking aloud," I mumbled, staring at my hands as they gripped the controls.
"Heero, you okay?" Duo's concerned voice asked, and I glanced at his image.
"Sure. A little tired, I guess."
"You didn't sleep last night."
"Not... really."
"You are going to bed as soon as we land." His voice held a firm, determined tone that I'd learned not to argue with. When Duo decides he wants something, he gets it. I sighed and nodded meekly.
"Alright, love."
"Good boy." He grinned at me, eyes sparkling with mischief, and I couldn't help but smile back.