Notes: Yes, I have made my decision on where this story is going and if you read the reviews given for the last chapter, you can probably guess what that decision is. Before you read this, I want you to know that thanks to some of the comments people gave me, I realised that this could very easily degrade into something crap, and I really don't want that. Having Wufei enter the relationship is not going to weaken the relationship between Heero and Duo. Nothing could ever do that. This is not going to be a cheesy love triangle, it is going to be about a strong, steady relationship filled with love and passion and trust that just happens to include three people.
Anyway, Duo will find out what's going on next chapter, and this chapter is just about how Duo's coping with being back at a safe house and establishing the very first hints of romance between Heero and Wufei. Enjoy and review!
Duo was quiet at dinner, and that worried me. He seemed almost... timid. I really didn't think he was dealing very well with being back at a safe house, and I didn't know what to do. So I was quiet, too, just eating and watching Duo. I also glanced occasionally at Wufei, who didn't really seem to be eating much, just fidgeting in his chair. Add in the fact that Trowa was a naturally quiet person, and only Quatre was left to break the silence. He tried, I'll give him that, but eventually he too gave up and just ate his dinner.
So after a very quiet, very tense dinner, Duo mumbled something about taking a shower and fled. I glanced at Wufei and we went into the bedroom we both shared with Duo.
"Maybe we should postpone this," Wufei blurted as soon as the door was closed. "He seems very sad, perhaps this isn't the best time."
I sighed and sat down on one of the beds. "I don't know how to handle this," I muttered. "I mean, what the hell can I do? He's still recovering, he won't be able to go into combat for ages, but... he could get a mission any moment. And he knows that. Dammit, as long as he's on call, he'll be worrying about his problems instead of trying to overcome them! Damn this stupid fucking war!"
"This war was damned a long time ago," Wufei said bitterly. "Look, Heero, just... give him some time. Let him get used to being back for a few days, and then we can tell him."
"I don't like waiting..."
"Neither do I, but now really isn't the time."
I had to admit that he was right. Duo was... off-centre right now. The last thing he needed was to find out that Wufei loved him and I was willing to share him with the Chinese pilot.
"Aright, we'll wait," I said quietly, lying down and staring up at the ceiling. "But... I still don't know what to do in the meantime. We've been out of action for two weeks, there's got to be a lot of missions we have to do. I don't know how he'll react to me being gone. And if he gets a mission himself... I think, in a little while, he might be able to handle a simple infiltration mission if it doesn't require killing, but..."
"Unless the missions specifically require the stealth equipment unique to Deathscythe, I'm sure one of us can take it instead."
That was a good idea, the best one I could see in fact, but Duo wouldn't like it. It would make him feel weak and useless, he'd hate the fact that he was causing his friends to put themselves in danger to protect him.
"Oh we're idiots!"
I blinked at Wufei's sudden exclamation and raised my head to look at him. He blushed slightly, but still continued to look very annoyed.
"When all this crap first started, you declared Duo unfit for duty indefinitely. We're back at work, but he's not."
Oh yeah, I had done that. Why had I forgotten? "Well, that's something at least..."
"Just don't let him get too depressed," Wufei said. "Keep reminding him that he is getting better."
"I can try, but... you know how stubborn he is."
Wufei snorted and I knew without looking at him that he was smiling. "Yeah, stubborn and proud."
"Sounds like someone else I know."
"Not really. He's a lot stronger than I am."
"I wouldn't say that."
"I would. I'm not sure I could have survived the... trauma he is suffering from. I think it would have broken me."
"It did break him," I said softly, shuddering at the memory of how Duo had clung to me, lost in horrific memories. "But he's finding ways to put himself back together."
"With your help. I don't think he would be as far along as he is without you, Heero. Without you, I think he would've stayed broken."
There was a short pause while I digested that, and then Wufei spoke again, his voice layered with tones of shame, fear, doubt, and need.
"Maybe I shouldn't tell him."
My response was immediate. "Fuck that."
I stood up and walked three paces so that I was barely inches away from him. I stared into his dark, dark eyes and the thought hit me that we were close enough to kiss. I blinked and mentally stared at that thought. Since when did I want to kiss Wufei?
I remembered that I had wanted to tell him something and struggled to remember what it was. It was strange, but being so close to him was like being close to Duo. I was all... confused. I couldn't think straight.
"You, uh... you, um, have to... uh..."
Some part of my mind said that I should take a few steps back, get some distance. Perhaps a few miles. But I couldn't. I was frozen. I could smell the faint scent of sandalwood from his shampoo, could feel his breath tickling across my skin. He was just so close....
It was the sound of the shower turning off that jerked me back to my senses. I blinked and shook my head, taking several steps back. Wufei looked just as dazed and confused as I was, and I had to wonder: what the hell was going on?
Duo was just wearing his black jeans when he walked into the room, the rest of his clothes a bundle under his arm. He had obviously quickly towel dried his hair, and a towel was slung around his shoulders to catch any drips. His skin was still beaded with water and slightly flushed. He looked gorgeous. A glance at Wufei showed that he thought so too.
Duo blinked and frowned at us. "Uh, guys, something wrong?" he asked, an edge to his voice saying that he expected bad news.
I coughed to clear my throat and forced a smile. "No, nothing, Wufei just wanted to tell me that he was going into town and wanted to know if there was anything I needed."
"Oh. Okay."
"Is there anything you wanted, Duo?" Wufei asked, and Duo thought about it for a moment.
"Um, some more shampoo, I think, I'm running low."
"Alright. I'll be back in a couple of hours."
Duo waited until Wufei had left before turning to me, a curious expression on his face. "What else was going on in here?"
I blinked, too surprised by the question to actually hide my surprise. Sometimes, I forgot how perceptive my Duo is. I hesitated, not knowing what to say. I didn't want to lie to him, but I couldn't exactly tell him the truth, especially since I wasn't all that sure of the truth. I settled for a half-truth.
"He was worried about you, we both were. You were... quiet at dinner."
"Oh." He looked away from me and pulled on his tee shirt, grabbing his brush and sitting down on the bed. He began to brush his hair and ignored both me and my unasked question.
I settled down on the bed beside him, touching his arm. "Duo, love, please talk to me."
He sighed and began tugging the brush through his damp hair with more force than was necessary. Seeing that he was hurting himself, I took the brush from him and moved to sit behind him. I began to brush his hair and waited patiently for his answer.
"I guess I didn't think how much this would affect me," he eventually said, his voice soft and timid. "Being back here... I can't ignore the fact that someday I'm going to... kill again."
"Is there anything I can do?"
"... I don't think so. I think I just have to... get used to it."
"You know I'm here for you, right?"
"I know. I don't think I could do this without you, Heero. You're my strength."
I temporarily abandoned the brush to hug him tightly, pressing my body against his back. He leaned his head back on my shoulder and placed a light kiss on my jaw. I don't know where the urge to hold him suddenly came from, but it swept through me like a crashing wave. I just needed to be close to him, to feel him against me, to reassure myself that he was real, that he was in my arms.
"Heero," Duo said in a voice that trembled with emotion, "Tell me you love me."
"I love you, Duo."
"Tell me again."
"I love you, Duo, more than anything in the entire world. I'll love you with my last breath."
He somehow managed to turn around and pin me to the bed without breaking my embrace, and I suddenly found myself with a shaking American lying on top of me, pressing kisses to my neck and collarbone.
"I love you," he murmured between kisses. "You're my everything. I can't do this without you. Oh, God, I love you so much. Your mine, right? All mine?"
"Yes, Duo, I'm yours."
"And I'm yours, right? Tell me I'm yours."
There was something desperate in his voice, something I didn't understand. But I didn't really need to understand it, did I?
"Yes, Duo," I whispered, kissing his neck. "You're mine."
A shudder ran through his body and he collapsed on top of me. It kinda made it hard to breathe, but was I really going to complain? No, I just held him and stroked his hair and waited for whatever was going on inside him to pass.
"I'm sorry," he muttered, rather predictably. I smiled and held him tighter.
"Nothing to be sorry for, love." He shivered at the nickname, and I had to wonder at this new timid side of him.
"I just... I want to belong, Heero, to have someone own me, take care of me."
The words and emotion behind them burned my heart and I realised suddenly that Duo had always been alone, always had to take care of himself. He had been abandoned by everyone in his life and forced to make it on his own.
And I wanted to take care of him. Oh, God, I really did want to. I wanted to shelter and protect him and care for him.
"You belong to me, Duo," I whispered into his hair, and he shivered again.
Anyway, Duo will find out what's going on next chapter, and this chapter is just about how Duo's coping with being back at a safe house and establishing the very first hints of romance between Heero and Wufei. Enjoy and review!
Duo was quiet at dinner, and that worried me. He seemed almost... timid. I really didn't think he was dealing very well with being back at a safe house, and I didn't know what to do. So I was quiet, too, just eating and watching Duo. I also glanced occasionally at Wufei, who didn't really seem to be eating much, just fidgeting in his chair. Add in the fact that Trowa was a naturally quiet person, and only Quatre was left to break the silence. He tried, I'll give him that, but eventually he too gave up and just ate his dinner.
So after a very quiet, very tense dinner, Duo mumbled something about taking a shower and fled. I glanced at Wufei and we went into the bedroom we both shared with Duo.
"Maybe we should postpone this," Wufei blurted as soon as the door was closed. "He seems very sad, perhaps this isn't the best time."
I sighed and sat down on one of the beds. "I don't know how to handle this," I muttered. "I mean, what the hell can I do? He's still recovering, he won't be able to go into combat for ages, but... he could get a mission any moment. And he knows that. Dammit, as long as he's on call, he'll be worrying about his problems instead of trying to overcome them! Damn this stupid fucking war!"
"This war was damned a long time ago," Wufei said bitterly. "Look, Heero, just... give him some time. Let him get used to being back for a few days, and then we can tell him."
"I don't like waiting..."
"Neither do I, but now really isn't the time."
I had to admit that he was right. Duo was... off-centre right now. The last thing he needed was to find out that Wufei loved him and I was willing to share him with the Chinese pilot.
"Aright, we'll wait," I said quietly, lying down and staring up at the ceiling. "But... I still don't know what to do in the meantime. We've been out of action for two weeks, there's got to be a lot of missions we have to do. I don't know how he'll react to me being gone. And if he gets a mission himself... I think, in a little while, he might be able to handle a simple infiltration mission if it doesn't require killing, but..."
"Unless the missions specifically require the stealth equipment unique to Deathscythe, I'm sure one of us can take it instead."
That was a good idea, the best one I could see in fact, but Duo wouldn't like it. It would make him feel weak and useless, he'd hate the fact that he was causing his friends to put themselves in danger to protect him.
"Oh we're idiots!"
I blinked at Wufei's sudden exclamation and raised my head to look at him. He blushed slightly, but still continued to look very annoyed.
"When all this crap first started, you declared Duo unfit for duty indefinitely. We're back at work, but he's not."
Oh yeah, I had done that. Why had I forgotten? "Well, that's something at least..."
"Just don't let him get too depressed," Wufei said. "Keep reminding him that he is getting better."
"I can try, but... you know how stubborn he is."
Wufei snorted and I knew without looking at him that he was smiling. "Yeah, stubborn and proud."
"Sounds like someone else I know."
"Not really. He's a lot stronger than I am."
"I wouldn't say that."
"I would. I'm not sure I could have survived the... trauma he is suffering from. I think it would have broken me."
"It did break him," I said softly, shuddering at the memory of how Duo had clung to me, lost in horrific memories. "But he's finding ways to put himself back together."
"With your help. I don't think he would be as far along as he is without you, Heero. Without you, I think he would've stayed broken."
There was a short pause while I digested that, and then Wufei spoke again, his voice layered with tones of shame, fear, doubt, and need.
"Maybe I shouldn't tell him."
My response was immediate. "Fuck that."
I stood up and walked three paces so that I was barely inches away from him. I stared into his dark, dark eyes and the thought hit me that we were close enough to kiss. I blinked and mentally stared at that thought. Since when did I want to kiss Wufei?
I remembered that I had wanted to tell him something and struggled to remember what it was. It was strange, but being so close to him was like being close to Duo. I was all... confused. I couldn't think straight.
"You, uh... you, um, have to... uh..."
Some part of my mind said that I should take a few steps back, get some distance. Perhaps a few miles. But I couldn't. I was frozen. I could smell the faint scent of sandalwood from his shampoo, could feel his breath tickling across my skin. He was just so close....
It was the sound of the shower turning off that jerked me back to my senses. I blinked and shook my head, taking several steps back. Wufei looked just as dazed and confused as I was, and I had to wonder: what the hell was going on?
Duo was just wearing his black jeans when he walked into the room, the rest of his clothes a bundle under his arm. He had obviously quickly towel dried his hair, and a towel was slung around his shoulders to catch any drips. His skin was still beaded with water and slightly flushed. He looked gorgeous. A glance at Wufei showed that he thought so too.
Duo blinked and frowned at us. "Uh, guys, something wrong?" he asked, an edge to his voice saying that he expected bad news.
I coughed to clear my throat and forced a smile. "No, nothing, Wufei just wanted to tell me that he was going into town and wanted to know if there was anything I needed."
"Oh. Okay."
"Is there anything you wanted, Duo?" Wufei asked, and Duo thought about it for a moment.
"Um, some more shampoo, I think, I'm running low."
"Alright. I'll be back in a couple of hours."
Duo waited until Wufei had left before turning to me, a curious expression on his face. "What else was going on in here?"
I blinked, too surprised by the question to actually hide my surprise. Sometimes, I forgot how perceptive my Duo is. I hesitated, not knowing what to say. I didn't want to lie to him, but I couldn't exactly tell him the truth, especially since I wasn't all that sure of the truth. I settled for a half-truth.
"He was worried about you, we both were. You were... quiet at dinner."
"Oh." He looked away from me and pulled on his tee shirt, grabbing his brush and sitting down on the bed. He began to brush his hair and ignored both me and my unasked question.
I settled down on the bed beside him, touching his arm. "Duo, love, please talk to me."
He sighed and began tugging the brush through his damp hair with more force than was necessary. Seeing that he was hurting himself, I took the brush from him and moved to sit behind him. I began to brush his hair and waited patiently for his answer.
"I guess I didn't think how much this would affect me," he eventually said, his voice soft and timid. "Being back here... I can't ignore the fact that someday I'm going to... kill again."
"Is there anything I can do?"
"... I don't think so. I think I just have to... get used to it."
"You know I'm here for you, right?"
"I know. I don't think I could do this without you, Heero. You're my strength."
I temporarily abandoned the brush to hug him tightly, pressing my body against his back. He leaned his head back on my shoulder and placed a light kiss on my jaw. I don't know where the urge to hold him suddenly came from, but it swept through me like a crashing wave. I just needed to be close to him, to feel him against me, to reassure myself that he was real, that he was in my arms.
"Heero," Duo said in a voice that trembled with emotion, "Tell me you love me."
"I love you, Duo."
"Tell me again."
"I love you, Duo, more than anything in the entire world. I'll love you with my last breath."
He somehow managed to turn around and pin me to the bed without breaking my embrace, and I suddenly found myself with a shaking American lying on top of me, pressing kisses to my neck and collarbone.
"I love you," he murmured between kisses. "You're my everything. I can't do this without you. Oh, God, I love you so much. Your mine, right? All mine?"
"Yes, Duo, I'm yours."
"And I'm yours, right? Tell me I'm yours."
There was something desperate in his voice, something I didn't understand. But I didn't really need to understand it, did I?
"Yes, Duo," I whispered, kissing his neck. "You're mine."
A shudder ran through his body and he collapsed on top of me. It kinda made it hard to breathe, but was I really going to complain? No, I just held him and stroked his hair and waited for whatever was going on inside him to pass.
"I'm sorry," he muttered, rather predictably. I smiled and held him tighter.
"Nothing to be sorry for, love." He shivered at the nickname, and I had to wonder at this new timid side of him.
"I just... I want to belong, Heero, to have someone own me, take care of me."
The words and emotion behind them burned my heart and I realised suddenly that Duo had always been alone, always had to take care of himself. He had been abandoned by everyone in his life and forced to make it on his own.
And I wanted to take care of him. Oh, God, I really did want to. I wanted to shelter and protect him and care for him.
"You belong to me, Duo," I whispered into his hair, and he shivered again.