Notes: Well, three things happen in this chapter: Heero gets a mission, Duo finds out about Wufei, and Heero realises how he feels about Wufei. And sorry for the cliff-hanger, I just couldn't resist. Enjoy and review!
It is a mark of the complete unfairness of our lives that I was the first one to receive a mission. The familiar chime of my laptop seemed alien and somehow threatening. I glanced at Duo and saw him studying his bowl of cereal as if his life depended on it.
I sighed and went to answer the email. It was a simple infiltration-extraction, stealing some data off a computer at a base around sixty miles away. One hour there, spend the day scouting out the place, sneak in at night, and drive back first thing in the morning. Easy, short, low risk but high-priority.
But it would mean leaving Duo. I had not been away from him for more than two hours and even then it was at his request. I didn't know how he would react to my being gone, and on a mission no less. His mind would probably understand that it was a low-risk mission and the chance of getting hurt was minimal, but his heart....
"Dammit," I whispered to the empty bedroom. I couldn't leave him, nor did I want to. How could I be expected to leave him now, when he was just starting to adjust to being a Gundam pilot?
My head knew that I had to go, that the mission needed to be handled by a stealth expert and a good computer hacker, and that our little team had two such experts. Me and Duo. So if Duo didn't go, I had to. But dammit, I couldn't leave him!
I suppose I was being selfish, that I should have been thinking of the war and my duty, but I couldn't just ignore everything and everyone else like I used to. Duo had shown me what it was like to be human and I couldn't just disregard those sweet lessons.
So, what was I to do? Refuse an important, easy mission and stay with my love, or take the mission and just hope that he would be alright on his own.
And that was when it hit me.
Duo didn't have to be alone, not anymore. He could have Wufei with him. If, of course, he said yes to our proposal. Which I thought he would. But he might not. And if he said no, things would always be different between him and Wufei.
"That's the third time you've sighed in under a minute," a dry voice said, and I turned to find Wufei leaning in the doorway. I quirked my lips in a mirthless grin, and he returned the gesture, moving to sit on his bed.
"Can someone else handle the mission?" he asked softly, and I shook my head.
"It'll require some serious skill in stealth and hacking, the kind of skill on Duo and I have. You're good at sneaking into places, and you might be able to get in if you were lucky, but you wouldn't be able to hack the computer. Either I go or Duo does. Or no one does, but that's not really an option."
"Can it be postponed at all?"
"No, high-priority. I leave tomorrow morning."
He shook his head and muttered a Chinese curse under his breath. "This is going to really hurt Duo."
".... Only if he thinks he's alone."
Wufei looked at me sharply, and I saw an edge of fear in his onyx eyes. He knew what I meant by that comment, but wanted to deny it.
"If we tell him, he'll have you," I said quietly, still not completely sure about my decision. "I don't want to leave him alone, 'Fei, I don't think I can. But, if he has you, I think I could go on this stupid mission."
"Heero, I.... I'm not sure I can."
"If you don't tell him, you'll always wonder."
"Tell me what?"
We both jumped and looked at the door to find Duo watching us. He looked curious, head cocked to one side, but I knew it was a mask, knew that he was hiding from me. From us.
"You guys needed to tell me something?" he asked, and I tried very hard to unfreeze my brain. Duo frowned, eyes flicking from me to Wufei and back again. "Guys, what's going on?"
I cleared my throat and tried to school my expression into something calm and relaxed. I think I failed.
"Uh, it's uh... Duo, there's something you need to know."
"Alright..."
"Why don't you sit down?"
He was clearly suspicious, and just a little afraid, and decided to just lean against the wall rather than sit on the bed. I took a deep breath and tried to decide just how in the hell I was going to say this.
"Duo, I... um, remember that talk we had about how you felt about Wufei?"
The suspicion in his eyes and body language shot up, and he glanced nervously at Wufei. "Yeah?"
"Um... well the reason I asked was... I wanted to know because... because...."
"Because I love you."
Well, thank God one of us could say it.
Duo's eyes went so wide I thought they would pop out of his head, and he seemed to have stopped breathing. I hurriedly continued before he a) passed out or b) ran away.
"And I'm okay with that, him loving you, and you said that you might be interested in dating him, and I just want you to be happy, and if you say yes then it means that you won't be alone if I have to go on a mission and that he can help you work out your problems as well and... well it's up to you."
I glanced uncertainly at Wufei and found him firmly studying his shoes, a light blush tinting his cheeks. I looked back at Wufei and found him still staring at Wufei. I let the silence build for approximately four minutes and thirty-seven seconds.
"Duo? Please say something?"
He turned to look at me and some of the shock left his face to be replaced by anger. "You... you bastard! How could you fucking do this to me? Now? You choose to tell me this NOW? Goddamit, Heero, do you have no fucking common sense? I am on the verge of a mental breakdown and I have just found out that you are leaving me to possibly go get killed and you choose NOW to tell me that my best friend happens to love me and that you don't mind sharing me with him?"
All of this was screamed at the top of his voice and I winced, looking at the floor. I knew it had been probably the worst time to mention this, but I just didn't want to leave him alone. Surely that made it a little more okay?
Duo gave an inarticulate scream and I had the vague impression that he was waving his arms in the air, but couldn't see because my eyes were on the floor. Then he was storming out of the room and house, slamming every door on the way.
I sighed and looked at Wufei. He didn't look any happier than I did. He looked at me with something very... painful in his eyes.
"I guess that was the best reaction we could have expected," he said quietly, and I nodded.
"I'd go after him, but... I don't think he'd appreciate it."
"Some things need to be handled alone."
"Doesn't make it any easier."
"How long do you think it'll be before he returns?"
"I just hope he does return," I muttered, which was perhaps not the best thing to say, but still the truth. Duo had a tendency to run far, far away when things got really, seriously bad. I didn't think he would leave, but I wasn't completely certain.
One of us sighed. I think it was Wufei, but it might have been me. I looked across at Wufei and saw him tug the band out of his hair. It fell free, sliding forward to frame his face, black as raven's wings. He really was a very handsome man.
I blinked. Not only at the thought, but the feelings it caused. It was sort of a warm tingly feeling, the kind of feeling I got when I looked at Duo. Did I like Wufei? I mean, I knew he was gorge-I mean good looking, and he was one of my best friends, but did I like him like I liked Duo? That couldn't be right.
The analyst in me had to take a moment to review the situation. I loved Duo. I wanted Duo to be happy. I knew Wufei loved Duo. I knew Duo liked Wufei. I didn't mind sharing Duo with Wufei. Because I wanted him to be happy. But what if I had other reasons for making this proposal? What if... I wanted Wufei?
I glanced at Wufei again and tried to picture him naked. Having seen him shirtless plenty of times, that was no problem. The hardened muscles, the slender waist, the golden skin, the dark hair... oh I had no problems imagining a naked Wufei. And I had no problems feeling what it did to me.
A wave of heated desire swept over me and I shuddered, forcing my mind away from pictures of a naked Wufei.
Well this was surprising.
"You look shocked," Wufei said quietly, moving to rest his elbows on his knees, a very relaxed position that just happened to mean that his hair slid forward to hide his face. I had to resist the urge to reach out and tuck his hair behind his ear.
"Wufei, can I ask you a... personal question?"
He glanced at me through the curtain of his hair and I saw a slight frown creasing his brow. "I suppose... is it about Duo?"
"No it's... about me?"
"About you?"
"Yeah. Um, how do you... if Duo says yes, then there's a high possibility that we'll be in... intimate situations with each other. Does that... is that okay?"
I could tell I surprised him with the question, and he turned his head to glance out the window. I let the silence build, content to wait for his answer because I knew he was thinking about it seriously. That was one of the things I liked about him. He might not be the most spontaneous person in the world, not like Duo, but whatever he did, he did it with thought and passion and... maybe love?
"I don't think I'd mind that," he said quietly after a while, turning to look at me again. He reached up and tucked his hair behind his ear, giving me an unobstructed view of his face. "I have to admit, you're very handsome, and you're strong and courageous and dedicated and passionate.... There's very little about you that I don't like. Why do you ask?"
Confession time. "Well I just realised that... I don't mind being intimate with you. In fact, I... think I'd kind of like it."
I held my breath and waited to see what his response would be.
It is a mark of the complete unfairness of our lives that I was the first one to receive a mission. The familiar chime of my laptop seemed alien and somehow threatening. I glanced at Duo and saw him studying his bowl of cereal as if his life depended on it.
I sighed and went to answer the email. It was a simple infiltration-extraction, stealing some data off a computer at a base around sixty miles away. One hour there, spend the day scouting out the place, sneak in at night, and drive back first thing in the morning. Easy, short, low risk but high-priority.
But it would mean leaving Duo. I had not been away from him for more than two hours and even then it was at his request. I didn't know how he would react to my being gone, and on a mission no less. His mind would probably understand that it was a low-risk mission and the chance of getting hurt was minimal, but his heart....
"Dammit," I whispered to the empty bedroom. I couldn't leave him, nor did I want to. How could I be expected to leave him now, when he was just starting to adjust to being a Gundam pilot?
My head knew that I had to go, that the mission needed to be handled by a stealth expert and a good computer hacker, and that our little team had two such experts. Me and Duo. So if Duo didn't go, I had to. But dammit, I couldn't leave him!
I suppose I was being selfish, that I should have been thinking of the war and my duty, but I couldn't just ignore everything and everyone else like I used to. Duo had shown me what it was like to be human and I couldn't just disregard those sweet lessons.
So, what was I to do? Refuse an important, easy mission and stay with my love, or take the mission and just hope that he would be alright on his own.
And that was when it hit me.
Duo didn't have to be alone, not anymore. He could have Wufei with him. If, of course, he said yes to our proposal. Which I thought he would. But he might not. And if he said no, things would always be different between him and Wufei.
"That's the third time you've sighed in under a minute," a dry voice said, and I turned to find Wufei leaning in the doorway. I quirked my lips in a mirthless grin, and he returned the gesture, moving to sit on his bed.
"Can someone else handle the mission?" he asked softly, and I shook my head.
"It'll require some serious skill in stealth and hacking, the kind of skill on Duo and I have. You're good at sneaking into places, and you might be able to get in if you were lucky, but you wouldn't be able to hack the computer. Either I go or Duo does. Or no one does, but that's not really an option."
"Can it be postponed at all?"
"No, high-priority. I leave tomorrow morning."
He shook his head and muttered a Chinese curse under his breath. "This is going to really hurt Duo."
".... Only if he thinks he's alone."
Wufei looked at me sharply, and I saw an edge of fear in his onyx eyes. He knew what I meant by that comment, but wanted to deny it.
"If we tell him, he'll have you," I said quietly, still not completely sure about my decision. "I don't want to leave him alone, 'Fei, I don't think I can. But, if he has you, I think I could go on this stupid mission."
"Heero, I.... I'm not sure I can."
"If you don't tell him, you'll always wonder."
"Tell me what?"
We both jumped and looked at the door to find Duo watching us. He looked curious, head cocked to one side, but I knew it was a mask, knew that he was hiding from me. From us.
"You guys needed to tell me something?" he asked, and I tried very hard to unfreeze my brain. Duo frowned, eyes flicking from me to Wufei and back again. "Guys, what's going on?"
I cleared my throat and tried to school my expression into something calm and relaxed. I think I failed.
"Uh, it's uh... Duo, there's something you need to know."
"Alright..."
"Why don't you sit down?"
He was clearly suspicious, and just a little afraid, and decided to just lean against the wall rather than sit on the bed. I took a deep breath and tried to decide just how in the hell I was going to say this.
"Duo, I... um, remember that talk we had about how you felt about Wufei?"
The suspicion in his eyes and body language shot up, and he glanced nervously at Wufei. "Yeah?"
"Um... well the reason I asked was... I wanted to know because... because...."
"Because I love you."
Well, thank God one of us could say it.
Duo's eyes went so wide I thought they would pop out of his head, and he seemed to have stopped breathing. I hurriedly continued before he a) passed out or b) ran away.
"And I'm okay with that, him loving you, and you said that you might be interested in dating him, and I just want you to be happy, and if you say yes then it means that you won't be alone if I have to go on a mission and that he can help you work out your problems as well and... well it's up to you."
I glanced uncertainly at Wufei and found him firmly studying his shoes, a light blush tinting his cheeks. I looked back at Wufei and found him still staring at Wufei. I let the silence build for approximately four minutes and thirty-seven seconds.
"Duo? Please say something?"
He turned to look at me and some of the shock left his face to be replaced by anger. "You... you bastard! How could you fucking do this to me? Now? You choose to tell me this NOW? Goddamit, Heero, do you have no fucking common sense? I am on the verge of a mental breakdown and I have just found out that you are leaving me to possibly go get killed and you choose NOW to tell me that my best friend happens to love me and that you don't mind sharing me with him?"
All of this was screamed at the top of his voice and I winced, looking at the floor. I knew it had been probably the worst time to mention this, but I just didn't want to leave him alone. Surely that made it a little more okay?
Duo gave an inarticulate scream and I had the vague impression that he was waving his arms in the air, but couldn't see because my eyes were on the floor. Then he was storming out of the room and house, slamming every door on the way.
I sighed and looked at Wufei. He didn't look any happier than I did. He looked at me with something very... painful in his eyes.
"I guess that was the best reaction we could have expected," he said quietly, and I nodded.
"I'd go after him, but... I don't think he'd appreciate it."
"Some things need to be handled alone."
"Doesn't make it any easier."
"How long do you think it'll be before he returns?"
"I just hope he does return," I muttered, which was perhaps not the best thing to say, but still the truth. Duo had a tendency to run far, far away when things got really, seriously bad. I didn't think he would leave, but I wasn't completely certain.
One of us sighed. I think it was Wufei, but it might have been me. I looked across at Wufei and saw him tug the band out of his hair. It fell free, sliding forward to frame his face, black as raven's wings. He really was a very handsome man.
I blinked. Not only at the thought, but the feelings it caused. It was sort of a warm tingly feeling, the kind of feeling I got when I looked at Duo. Did I like Wufei? I mean, I knew he was gorge-I mean good looking, and he was one of my best friends, but did I like him like I liked Duo? That couldn't be right.
The analyst in me had to take a moment to review the situation. I loved Duo. I wanted Duo to be happy. I knew Wufei loved Duo. I knew Duo liked Wufei. I didn't mind sharing Duo with Wufei. Because I wanted him to be happy. But what if I had other reasons for making this proposal? What if... I wanted Wufei?
I glanced at Wufei again and tried to picture him naked. Having seen him shirtless plenty of times, that was no problem. The hardened muscles, the slender waist, the golden skin, the dark hair... oh I had no problems imagining a naked Wufei. And I had no problems feeling what it did to me.
A wave of heated desire swept over me and I shuddered, forcing my mind away from pictures of a naked Wufei.
Well this was surprising.
"You look shocked," Wufei said quietly, moving to rest his elbows on his knees, a very relaxed position that just happened to mean that his hair slid forward to hide his face. I had to resist the urge to reach out and tuck his hair behind his ear.
"Wufei, can I ask you a... personal question?"
He glanced at me through the curtain of his hair and I saw a slight frown creasing his brow. "I suppose... is it about Duo?"
"No it's... about me?"
"About you?"
"Yeah. Um, how do you... if Duo says yes, then there's a high possibility that we'll be in... intimate situations with each other. Does that... is that okay?"
I could tell I surprised him with the question, and he turned his head to glance out the window. I let the silence build, content to wait for his answer because I knew he was thinking about it seriously. That was one of the things I liked about him. He might not be the most spontaneous person in the world, not like Duo, but whatever he did, he did it with thought and passion and... maybe love?
"I don't think I'd mind that," he said quietly after a while, turning to look at me again. He reached up and tucked his hair behind his ear, giving me an unobstructed view of his face. "I have to admit, you're very handsome, and you're strong and courageous and dedicated and passionate.... There's very little about you that I don't like. Why do you ask?"
Confession time. "Well I just realised that... I don't mind being intimate with you. In fact, I... think I'd kind of like it."
I held my breath and waited to see what his response would be.