A/N: I realize that even when it came to serious issues like rape, drugs etc, they tended to be underplayed or over dramatized. So, let's hope this fic comes out a little different then the rest.
Disclaimer: ….What do you think?
Actions of Consequence
By Timberwolf220
I didn't say anything. What could I have said, under the circumstances?
I'm sorry?
I'm here for you?
I care for you?
Such words would not help him now.
I do not deny I wanted to help him, maybe lessen the blow that struck him so deep, so cruelly that it twists deeper with every thought, word or deed.
So I said nothing.
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He came in with bloody clothes, with sunken eyes that haunted me for days to come. I didn't rush over to him in desperation or in horror, I didn't cry in pain or fear. There was a splurge of ice had encrusted my insides. The team was over him in seconds. I don't know whether if he saw them at all, as if the world had melted away at the corners and nothing was left but dark shadows of the mind.
I watched all this like some fascinated viewer. Then my eyes drifted over him and I realized what had happened to him. I then offered to take him up and help him change. I think he would like to keep this a secret.
They didn't listen.
They took him to a room where they called a doctor. Then, they rounded up on me.
How could you just sit there?
He needed you!
Why didn't you help?
They were reasonable questions, though they were clouded in spite and doubt. I won't lie. They did hurt and did give me pain. But I didn't tell them that…
There are different ways to help a person. Actions speak louder than words.
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I sat by his bedside all day. And night. He knew I was there, despite the fact the doctor said he was oblivious to the world outside. I'm not fond of doctors. They tend to think their word is law.
Laws are meant to be broken.
I'm sorry, but he…was raped…
Watching a person's face is much more interesting than watching a television. There is a depth you could sink to. On my teammates' faces were echoes of horror and sadness. Those made me feel almost irritated, so I said…
I'm glad.
They stared at me as if they didn't know me. Then, questions erupted from them as well as angry retorts.
How could you say that?!
Have you no heart?
Do you have any idea what he's been through?
They don't understand. How could they? They led sheltered lives. I did too, once upon a time.
Truth can break even the sternest lives.
I lost my temper and rounded up on them.
You can't talk! You should be glad he came back alive! He's your teammate. Lives cannot be regained. I'm happy he saved his.
They didn't have an answer to that, though Kenny's eyes were bright and he nodded in acknowledgement.
He knew that life itself can be fixed. But a lost life can never be brought back.
Why were my teammates finding it so hard to understand?
I'm glad he came back. For their sake, if not for mine.
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The team had become rather…er, cool with their dealings with me, but I ignored it.
The next day, he got out of his bed and sat in front of the television, flicking through the channels. The team watched him warily from the corner of their eyes. Including me.
Then, slowly and hesitantly, they approached him like an animal sniffing for danger. That irritated me. Did they have so little faith in his strength?
Apparently, they did.
Can I get you something?
Do you need something?
We're here for you.
We'll always be there for you.
Do they take him for a fool? They weren't there when he got raped. I wouldn't be surprised if he chose to blame them. I know I wouldn't have, but I cannot judge him with myself.
Words are all they are. Words.
His posture was odd, though. He wasn't slouched in any way that indicated a lack of reality. Rather, his face was almost taut from intense concentration. As if the world he knew was slipping through his fingers. And he was trying to keep his hold on it.
Idiot. He should know better. He was lucky to come back that night, alive with minor injuries.
Thank you. Now, can you leave me alone?
That was his reply to the team. He didn't say it. He gave them this cutting gesture. They stepped back, hurt filling the spaces between the pupils.
He stayed on the couch for a long time. Didn't move an inch. The others were heading to their rooms, ready to sleep, but he didn't make a move.
His eyes were like silhouettes of tragedy. The wind swept around the room, howling at the loss. He shivered, almost vulnerable to the harsh cutting winds that grazed across his skin like pale razors.
I got up silently and sat next to him. And then I hugged him.
He let me do it. For whatever reasons that I couldn't be bothered with. But I know….
I was glad I did it.
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It was three days after the incident. The doctor allowed us to feed him, but he never touched his meal. His face was gaunt and his cheeks fell.
The team tried everything. Persuasions, threats (that one was a classic) and even bribes.
He just sat there.
My temper flew and I got up, took a spoon, scooped the food and shoved it into his mouth.
I think I surprised him. He swallowed his food and gave me this unreadable look. I took the spoon out of his mouth and scooped the food again. This time however, I held it out in front of his mouth.
Something flitted through his eyes. He opened his mouth and I put the spoon in his mouth. I smiled.
He was mending himself. I was proud of him.
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It was one week after the incident when he said his first words. It kinda took everyone aback. Even me.
He looked at me with those dark forgotten eyes and said, "Why do you even bother?"
I was slightly hurt by that, so I didn't answer.
A smirk tugged his lips and he whispered, "Thank you."
"For what?" I was playing the fool. I knew what.
"Everything. You know what scared me the most while I was being raped? That I couldn't come back and tell you what I've always wanted to say."
There was this inexorable pull that gripped my mind, "And what is it that you've wanted to say?"
He gave a look with dancing shadows, "I think you know. Actions speak louder than words."
"True," I said, admitting, "They do."
"But Love can go much farther," He whispered as if afraid to break some fragile balance, "Much farther. Do you love me, Takao Kinomiya?"
I leaned over and brushed my lips against his and said, "I would say that's a pretty good assumption, Kai Hiwatari."
Owari
A/N: ….God, that sucked….
CS: I dunno. I kinda liked it.
Me: Now I know it sucked.
CS: Reviewers receive—
Me: (digs through her goodie bag) I don't believe this…
CS: What happened?
Me: We're out of plushies!!
CS: But…what are we going to give the reviewers?
Me: (sighs) Reviewers receive…Teddy Bears.
CS: Teddy bears?
Me: Teddy bears.
CS: …I guess that will have to do for now…(starts shredding her Teddy Bear) Review!