Notes: This turned out more sappy than angsty, and I really don't like the ending, but I hope you like it anyway. And because I got yelled at for the Duo-torture in the last chapter, just remember that I always write happy endings. Enjoy and review!
I suppose I should stop forgetting that even in his... weakened state, Duo is a trained Gundam pilot and skilled thief. I should stop forgetting that he has been training to get out of 'capture' since childhood. But, I do keep forgetting, and apparently so does Wufei, because when Duo suddenly started struggling in our arms, we were unable to stop him.
He moved with startling speed, scrambling out of our hold and running out of the room. By the time we had climbed to our feet and chased after him, he had fled the safe house. I caught sight of his black-clad body dashing into the woods, but knew that I would not be able to find him if he didn't want to be found.
I sighed and turned back into the house, sinking down onto the sofa. I felt tired. These past few days had just been one crisis after another. I'd barely been able to rest before some other disaster happened. My endurance was running out, and I just needed to crash for a few days, needed a nice period of rest and relaxation.
I choked down a bitter laugh. Rest and relaxation. God, what an incredibly stupid thought. I had been lucky to get those two weeks at Marianne's, which hadn't even been crisis free, but now I was back in the war, and there would be no rest until the fighting stopped. Or I was dead.
"Whatever you're thinking, don't," a weary voice said, and I glanced up to find Wufei leaning against the wall. I smiled wryly at him but didn't say anything. He sighed and let his head fall back to rest against the wall, closing his eyes. "Is the mission going to be difficult?"
"I don't know," I admitted softly. "Let's find out." I grabbed my cell phone and flipped it open, dialling Sally's number after checking it was a secure line. It rung three times before she picked up.
"Am I going to get yelled at?" she asked without a hello, and I felt a tiny spark of amusement.
"Depends on how good your explanation is," I replied, and she sighed.
"Right. Duo needs to get back to fighting to prove that he can."
I waited for more, but finally prompted, "And?"
"And I gave him a mission to do that. Well, technically I requested that the mission be handed over to 02 for personal reasons. It took a lot of arguing to get them to agree, since you took him off active duty and they're pretty much scared shitless of you. I wish you wouldn't be so intimidating to the people on our side."
"Give me the mission details."
"Base is about ninety miles away from the town nearest to you. Around a hundred mobile suits, a dozen cadets, and the usual amount of officers and other staff. They aren't expecting an attack and with Deathscythe's stealth capabilities and Duo's piloting capabilities-"
"Which he may not be able to fully utilise," I said, not caring about interrupting. My control was fraying, and I knew it. "He's still recovering, Sally. He's only been wearing a gun again for a few days. You can't ask him to kill."
She made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a growl and I imagined her rubbing her eyes. "Heero, I am a trained professional. Not only am I a regular doctor, I have a degree in psychology. I have seen dozens of cases like Duo's, not as severe I'll grant you, but similar, and I am telling you that this will work."
"It had better," I said in my most threatening tone. I hung up without another word and repeated the details to Wufei. He thought silently for a few moments, absently brushing a strand of hair out of his closed eyes.
"The theory has merit," he finally admitted, and I sighed.
"I know that, but... the average human psyche is complicated at best. Duo is far from average, and when you apply the theory to his... fragile mind... I just don't know if he's strong enough to handle this. You saw how he reacted."
"I did, and I admit it was bad, but it could have been worse."
The fraying rope that was my control broke with an almost audible twang and I glared at him. "Worse? He fucking ran away!"
He didn't react to my outburst other than to smile softly. "Yes, he did. He ran and he hid so that he could figure things out. He'll be back."
"How can you be so sure of that?" I asked, hating the desperation in my voice. Wufei finally opened his eyes to look at me, and I stared into those onyx depths, falling into the dark light that shone with a fierce love.
"Because he loves us."
I hate losing control for two specific reasons. One: I'm very dangerous when I do, and two: I can't bottle up my emotions like I usually do. It started off slow, just a single tear rolling down my cheek, but then something inside me snapped and I huge sobs were racking my body, tears streaming down my face.
Wufei was suddenly there, holding me close, whispering softly to me, doing everything that I did when Duo was upset. I had never realised before just how good it felt to be held by someone who loved you when you needed them, and I clung to him, pressing my face into the bend of his neck.
I couldn't do this for much longer, couldn't keep bouncing from crisis to emergency to disaster. I was going to drown in a sea of dark emotions, and I wasn't the only one. Hadn't we done enough? Didn't we deserve a break? We were only fifteen for Christ's sake! We shouldn't have to deal with all this shit! It wasn't fair! It just... it wasn't fair.
How long I cried for, I don't know, but I do know that the house was still devoid of a certain braided American when I was finally able to gather up the torn remains of my control.
I looked up at Wufei, an apology on the tip of my tongue, but he pressed a finger to my lips, effectively shushing me.
"You needed to let it out," he said quietly. "Don't be ashamed."
I blushed, and realised that this was probably how Duo felt whenever he collapsed in my arms. I felt ashamed and weak, small and pathetic next to Wufei's amazing strength.
"Heero, would you stop that?" he demanded in exasperation. "You've been trying to carry too much on your shoulders. You've been putting Duo's needs before your own for weeks and it was killing you."
"I just feel so...."
"Tired? Worn out? Tense?"
I looked up at him through my bangs and muttered, "Pathetic."
He rolled his eyes at me, but didn't comment. He sighed suddenly and flicked a strand of hair out of his eyes. I realised that that was why he kept his hair in a ponytail most of the time, it had an annoying habit of getting in his eyes. Still, he looked a lot nicer with his hair down, so silky and fine, just slides through my fingers like water...
"Is there a reason you are playing with my hair?" he asked, and I blushed, dropping my hand.
"You look good with your hair down," I mumbled.
"Apparently Duo thinks so, too, which is why I have left it down today."
I smiled softly and dared to reach out again, twisting the fine strands of his hair around my fingers, feeling the smooth texture of them. He watched me toy with his hair, a wry smile twisting his lips.
"You have a hair fetish," he accused softly, and I grinned.
"Yep."
I heard footsteps and let my hand fall away from Wufei's hair just as Trowa walked in from the kitchen. I noted Quatre's absence and raised an eyebrow.
"He's unconscious," he murmured, flopping down in an armchair. "He'll wake up in an hour or two."
"Did he say much?"
"Fear, pain, despair, the... usual."
I sighed, even though I had known it was coming. Why wasn't Duo here? Why couldn't he trust me to hold and comfort him? Why couldn't he lean on me just a little?
"Because he's as proud as you are," Wufei muttered, his voice tinged with exasperation. I glared at him, but he just glared back. "You are too proud for your own good, Heero Yuy, and you know it. You were completely mortified two seconds that you needed me to hold you, you are more likely to kill yourself than to accept help on a mission, and Duo is just the same. Well, he may not kill himself instead of accepting help, but he will go to great extremes and later insist that he didn't need the help. So can you really blame him for wanting to get out of here for a little bit before he had another breakdown? He hates that he needs you, us, so damn much and he's terrified that we'll be disgusted with him and leave him."
He stopped talking and silence descended on the room. I was desperately fighting a blush and the urge to fidget for his evaluation of me. What stung more was that it was true. I was too damned proud for my own good.
"You're almost as good as Quatre at that," Trowa said after a moment, his eyes sparkling with amusement and a soft smile curling his lips. I glared at him, but he, unfortunately, remained unaffected.
I sighed and cuddled up to Wufei, nestling my head on his shoulder. It was only when Trowa raised an eyebrow and smirked that I realised what I'd done. Blushing, I started to move away but Wufei wrapped an arm around my shoulders, holding me in place. I smiled and stayed where I was. It wasn't such a bad place to be.
I suppose I should stop forgetting that even in his... weakened state, Duo is a trained Gundam pilot and skilled thief. I should stop forgetting that he has been training to get out of 'capture' since childhood. But, I do keep forgetting, and apparently so does Wufei, because when Duo suddenly started struggling in our arms, we were unable to stop him.
He moved with startling speed, scrambling out of our hold and running out of the room. By the time we had climbed to our feet and chased after him, he had fled the safe house. I caught sight of his black-clad body dashing into the woods, but knew that I would not be able to find him if he didn't want to be found.
I sighed and turned back into the house, sinking down onto the sofa. I felt tired. These past few days had just been one crisis after another. I'd barely been able to rest before some other disaster happened. My endurance was running out, and I just needed to crash for a few days, needed a nice period of rest and relaxation.
I choked down a bitter laugh. Rest and relaxation. God, what an incredibly stupid thought. I had been lucky to get those two weeks at Marianne's, which hadn't even been crisis free, but now I was back in the war, and there would be no rest until the fighting stopped. Or I was dead.
"Whatever you're thinking, don't," a weary voice said, and I glanced up to find Wufei leaning against the wall. I smiled wryly at him but didn't say anything. He sighed and let his head fall back to rest against the wall, closing his eyes. "Is the mission going to be difficult?"
"I don't know," I admitted softly. "Let's find out." I grabbed my cell phone and flipped it open, dialling Sally's number after checking it was a secure line. It rung three times before she picked up.
"Am I going to get yelled at?" she asked without a hello, and I felt a tiny spark of amusement.
"Depends on how good your explanation is," I replied, and she sighed.
"Right. Duo needs to get back to fighting to prove that he can."
I waited for more, but finally prompted, "And?"
"And I gave him a mission to do that. Well, technically I requested that the mission be handed over to 02 for personal reasons. It took a lot of arguing to get them to agree, since you took him off active duty and they're pretty much scared shitless of you. I wish you wouldn't be so intimidating to the people on our side."
"Give me the mission details."
"Base is about ninety miles away from the town nearest to you. Around a hundred mobile suits, a dozen cadets, and the usual amount of officers and other staff. They aren't expecting an attack and with Deathscythe's stealth capabilities and Duo's piloting capabilities-"
"Which he may not be able to fully utilise," I said, not caring about interrupting. My control was fraying, and I knew it. "He's still recovering, Sally. He's only been wearing a gun again for a few days. You can't ask him to kill."
She made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a growl and I imagined her rubbing her eyes. "Heero, I am a trained professional. Not only am I a regular doctor, I have a degree in psychology. I have seen dozens of cases like Duo's, not as severe I'll grant you, but similar, and I am telling you that this will work."
"It had better," I said in my most threatening tone. I hung up without another word and repeated the details to Wufei. He thought silently for a few moments, absently brushing a strand of hair out of his closed eyes.
"The theory has merit," he finally admitted, and I sighed.
"I know that, but... the average human psyche is complicated at best. Duo is far from average, and when you apply the theory to his... fragile mind... I just don't know if he's strong enough to handle this. You saw how he reacted."
"I did, and I admit it was bad, but it could have been worse."
The fraying rope that was my control broke with an almost audible twang and I glared at him. "Worse? He fucking ran away!"
He didn't react to my outburst other than to smile softly. "Yes, he did. He ran and he hid so that he could figure things out. He'll be back."
"How can you be so sure of that?" I asked, hating the desperation in my voice. Wufei finally opened his eyes to look at me, and I stared into those onyx depths, falling into the dark light that shone with a fierce love.
"Because he loves us."
I hate losing control for two specific reasons. One: I'm very dangerous when I do, and two: I can't bottle up my emotions like I usually do. It started off slow, just a single tear rolling down my cheek, but then something inside me snapped and I huge sobs were racking my body, tears streaming down my face.
Wufei was suddenly there, holding me close, whispering softly to me, doing everything that I did when Duo was upset. I had never realised before just how good it felt to be held by someone who loved you when you needed them, and I clung to him, pressing my face into the bend of his neck.
I couldn't do this for much longer, couldn't keep bouncing from crisis to emergency to disaster. I was going to drown in a sea of dark emotions, and I wasn't the only one. Hadn't we done enough? Didn't we deserve a break? We were only fifteen for Christ's sake! We shouldn't have to deal with all this shit! It wasn't fair! It just... it wasn't fair.
How long I cried for, I don't know, but I do know that the house was still devoid of a certain braided American when I was finally able to gather up the torn remains of my control.
I looked up at Wufei, an apology on the tip of my tongue, but he pressed a finger to my lips, effectively shushing me.
"You needed to let it out," he said quietly. "Don't be ashamed."
I blushed, and realised that this was probably how Duo felt whenever he collapsed in my arms. I felt ashamed and weak, small and pathetic next to Wufei's amazing strength.
"Heero, would you stop that?" he demanded in exasperation. "You've been trying to carry too much on your shoulders. You've been putting Duo's needs before your own for weeks and it was killing you."
"I just feel so...."
"Tired? Worn out? Tense?"
I looked up at him through my bangs and muttered, "Pathetic."
He rolled his eyes at me, but didn't comment. He sighed suddenly and flicked a strand of hair out of his eyes. I realised that that was why he kept his hair in a ponytail most of the time, it had an annoying habit of getting in his eyes. Still, he looked a lot nicer with his hair down, so silky and fine, just slides through my fingers like water...
"Is there a reason you are playing with my hair?" he asked, and I blushed, dropping my hand.
"You look good with your hair down," I mumbled.
"Apparently Duo thinks so, too, which is why I have left it down today."
I smiled softly and dared to reach out again, twisting the fine strands of his hair around my fingers, feeling the smooth texture of them. He watched me toy with his hair, a wry smile twisting his lips.
"You have a hair fetish," he accused softly, and I grinned.
"Yep."
I heard footsteps and let my hand fall away from Wufei's hair just as Trowa walked in from the kitchen. I noted Quatre's absence and raised an eyebrow.
"He's unconscious," he murmured, flopping down in an armchair. "He'll wake up in an hour or two."
"Did he say much?"
"Fear, pain, despair, the... usual."
I sighed, even though I had known it was coming. Why wasn't Duo here? Why couldn't he trust me to hold and comfort him? Why couldn't he lean on me just a little?
"Because he's as proud as you are," Wufei muttered, his voice tinged with exasperation. I glared at him, but he just glared back. "You are too proud for your own good, Heero Yuy, and you know it. You were completely mortified two seconds that you needed me to hold you, you are more likely to kill yourself than to accept help on a mission, and Duo is just the same. Well, he may not kill himself instead of accepting help, but he will go to great extremes and later insist that he didn't need the help. So can you really blame him for wanting to get out of here for a little bit before he had another breakdown? He hates that he needs you, us, so damn much and he's terrified that we'll be disgusted with him and leave him."
He stopped talking and silence descended on the room. I was desperately fighting a blush and the urge to fidget for his evaluation of me. What stung more was that it was true. I was too damned proud for my own good.
"You're almost as good as Quatre at that," Trowa said after a moment, his eyes sparkling with amusement and a soft smile curling his lips. I glared at him, but he, unfortunately, remained unaffected.
I sighed and cuddled up to Wufei, nestling my head on his shoulder. It was only when Trowa raised an eyebrow and smirked that I realised what I'd done. Blushing, I started to move away but Wufei wrapped an arm around my shoulders, holding me in place. I smiled and stayed where I was. It wasn't such a bad place to be.