Notes: This is a bit short, and I'm sorry for the long wait, but it might make you happy to know that I have about two chapters left to write, and then I can FINALLY get started on the sequel. Enjoy and review!
When Wufei and I finally managed to drag our bodies out of the shower (the water was getting cold and Trowa was getting impatient) we found Duo sitting on the bed, fully-clothed and with his laptop perched on his knees. His eyes were fixed on the screen, but I know he sensed our presence because he smiled.
"When you're clothed, I wouldn't mind a hug," he said, taking a sip of cocoa that had to be cold.
"Why didn't you wait?" I asked as I pulled on some boxers.
"Because I got bored, and you guys were having so much fun I didn't want to interrupt. You two are very loud."
I blushed and Wufei brushed his fingertips against my hip, where the skin was starting to darken in the shape of fingers. Not only had we been loud we'd been... rough. I had several bites, scratches, marks, and bruises, and so did Wufei.
When we were both fully clothed in jeans and tee shirts, Wufei went to make some more cocoa, while I settled down behind Duo, wrapping my arms around his slender waist and resting my chin on his shoulder. He was looking over the mission specs, memorising figures and pieces of data. It was, as Sally said, a simple mission, shouldn't be too much trouble. Hopefully.
"I'm leaving tomorrow morning," Duo said quietly, opening a new window and beginning to type out a mission plan. He allowed for every possibility, no matter how unlikely, giving himself plenty of room for error. It was more caution than he usually showed, but I didn't blame him.
"I... I think that when I get back... I'm going to need a little time alone."
I sighed and nodded. "Alright. We'll wait for you to come into the house, and make sure that Quatre and Trowa stay inside as well."
"Thanks."
"I know you can do this, Duo."
He didn't answer, but his typing faltered a moment, his fingers resting on the keys. Then he took a deep breath and continued typing, putting the finishing touches on his mission plan and sending it off to base for approval. Well, technically it was for approval, but in reality it was just so that they had a general idea of what we were intending to do and if we actually managed to accomplish it in the manner we intended. If they ever sent back a plan, I don't really think we'd listen to them. We have this tendency to do things our own way, in case you haven't realised.
"What are you smiling about, Heero?" Wufei asked, handing Duo a fresh mug of cocoa and sitting down beside me.
"Our independence and the fools at base who think they can control us."
"Ah. Always good for a chuckle, I suppose."
Duo closed his laptop and pushed it off his knees with a sigh. He leaned back, pressing against my body, and I tightened my grip around his waist.
"You alright, love?"
He smiled softly, but not like it was funny. His eyes were distant, and it was a long moment before he answered, his voice soft and sad. "Just... bad memories. I keep seeing things, in my head. Bad things. Things I... I don't want to see." Tears sparkled in his eyes, and he blinked them back. He was absently rubbing his fingertips against a scratch mark on my forearm, and I shivered at the sensation.
"I... Deathscythe needs to be looked over before the mission. I have to check weapons, guidance, stealth systems, controls, flight systems.... It's a few hours' work. Can you guys give me a hand?"
"Do you really need to ask?"
"Guess not."
"Want to start now?"
Duo took a deep breath and let it out slowly, nodding decisively. "Yeah, I do."
Deathscythe stood like a dark tower of destruction, gleaming in the sunlight. Wing and Shenlong stood on either side of it, strong and protective. The symbolism wasn't lost on any of us.
"I'll work on the guidance system, if you want," Wufei offered as Duo clambered up the tall machine to open the hatch. The cockpit was barely big enough for two, so Duo powered up the necessary systems to lay Deathscythe on the ground. Duo sat in the command chair, Wufei perched on his left shoulder, and I sat on the chest.
Each of us had our laptops plugged into a different system, and we spent the time working silently. Duo seemed to be handling it alright, but he had so far avoided accessing the weapons system. I wanted to offer to do it myself, to try and shelter him from the pain, but I knew that it wouldn't help, that he had to prove to himself that he could do it. Knowing that and actually listening to myself was two very different things.
We worked diligently, not overlooking the smallest imperfection. It was nearly lunchtime by the time we finished, but Deathscythe was perfect and ready for anything. I just wasn't sure Duo was. He seemed to be handling things alright, working just as hard as he usually did, even when it came to the weapons system, but I had learned long ago that what I saw wasn't necessarily the truth.
Part of me wanted for him to talk to me, wanted him to break down and let it all out, but the rest of me knew that it wouldn't help. He was strong, right now, safe behind his mask, and if I took that away, whatever chance he had of completing this mission would be ruined. Whether I liked it or not, Duo had to do this alone.
==
Breakfast was tense the next morning, filled with an uneasy silence of unsaid words. Quatre opened his mouth several times to say something, but eventually gave up and just gripped Trowa's hand under the table, succumbing to the silence. I was acutely aware of Duo sitting beside him, of the tension in his body, of his slightly uneven breath.
Duo picked at his breakfast, a complete fry-up, and managed a couple of bites before pushing it away.
"Duo, you need to eat something," I said quietly, and he sighed.
"I can't, 'Ro. I'll be sick."
"How about just the toast? For me? Please?"
"I'm sorry, Heero."
It was the tone of his voice, bitter and harsh, that made me shut up. I looked down at my cereal and the thought of actually eating it made my stomach hurt. I sighed and pushed the bowl away, reaching out to lace my fingers with Duo's. His hand was cold and clammy, and I could feel a slight tremor running through them.
"Whatever happens, we'll still love you," I promised softly, and he shuddered.
"I, uh... I think I need a moment alone. Meet me in the hanger in ten?"
I nodded and watched him leave, noticing how his footsteps faltered occasionally. Someone sighed, I think it was Quatre. I could tell that he was on the verge of trying to console Wufei and I, that he was about to start assuring us that Duo was strong and he could handle anything and he'd be alright and he'd come back healthy and sane... but I just didn't want to hear it. I fled to the bedroom, and Wufei soon followed me.
We collapsed on the bed, holding each other tightly, not speaking because we didn't need to. Fear made our hearts race, fears of so many things. Wufei kept whispering 'He'll be fine' over and over again, and I pulled the tie out of his hair to run my fingers through the thin strands.
By the time we regained control of ourselves, by the time we pulled on our masks and hid our hearts, we were five minutes late to see Duo. I don't think he noticed, he was too busy staring at Deathscythe with haunted eyes.
I touched him on the shoulder and he turned to gather us into a three-way hug, pressing his body close to ours. He didn't speak, I'm not sure if he could, and after a brief eternity, he pulled away and climbed into the cockpit. The hatch closed, sealing him away from our sight, our protection, our love. I hoped it wasn't forever.
When Wufei and I finally managed to drag our bodies out of the shower (the water was getting cold and Trowa was getting impatient) we found Duo sitting on the bed, fully-clothed and with his laptop perched on his knees. His eyes were fixed on the screen, but I know he sensed our presence because he smiled.
"When you're clothed, I wouldn't mind a hug," he said, taking a sip of cocoa that had to be cold.
"Why didn't you wait?" I asked as I pulled on some boxers.
"Because I got bored, and you guys were having so much fun I didn't want to interrupt. You two are very loud."
I blushed and Wufei brushed his fingertips against my hip, where the skin was starting to darken in the shape of fingers. Not only had we been loud we'd been... rough. I had several bites, scratches, marks, and bruises, and so did Wufei.
When we were both fully clothed in jeans and tee shirts, Wufei went to make some more cocoa, while I settled down behind Duo, wrapping my arms around his slender waist and resting my chin on his shoulder. He was looking over the mission specs, memorising figures and pieces of data. It was, as Sally said, a simple mission, shouldn't be too much trouble. Hopefully.
"I'm leaving tomorrow morning," Duo said quietly, opening a new window and beginning to type out a mission plan. He allowed for every possibility, no matter how unlikely, giving himself plenty of room for error. It was more caution than he usually showed, but I didn't blame him.
"I... I think that when I get back... I'm going to need a little time alone."
I sighed and nodded. "Alright. We'll wait for you to come into the house, and make sure that Quatre and Trowa stay inside as well."
"Thanks."
"I know you can do this, Duo."
He didn't answer, but his typing faltered a moment, his fingers resting on the keys. Then he took a deep breath and continued typing, putting the finishing touches on his mission plan and sending it off to base for approval. Well, technically it was for approval, but in reality it was just so that they had a general idea of what we were intending to do and if we actually managed to accomplish it in the manner we intended. If they ever sent back a plan, I don't really think we'd listen to them. We have this tendency to do things our own way, in case you haven't realised.
"What are you smiling about, Heero?" Wufei asked, handing Duo a fresh mug of cocoa and sitting down beside me.
"Our independence and the fools at base who think they can control us."
"Ah. Always good for a chuckle, I suppose."
Duo closed his laptop and pushed it off his knees with a sigh. He leaned back, pressing against my body, and I tightened my grip around his waist.
"You alright, love?"
He smiled softly, but not like it was funny. His eyes were distant, and it was a long moment before he answered, his voice soft and sad. "Just... bad memories. I keep seeing things, in my head. Bad things. Things I... I don't want to see." Tears sparkled in his eyes, and he blinked them back. He was absently rubbing his fingertips against a scratch mark on my forearm, and I shivered at the sensation.
"I... Deathscythe needs to be looked over before the mission. I have to check weapons, guidance, stealth systems, controls, flight systems.... It's a few hours' work. Can you guys give me a hand?"
"Do you really need to ask?"
"Guess not."
"Want to start now?"
Duo took a deep breath and let it out slowly, nodding decisively. "Yeah, I do."
Deathscythe stood like a dark tower of destruction, gleaming in the sunlight. Wing and Shenlong stood on either side of it, strong and protective. The symbolism wasn't lost on any of us.
"I'll work on the guidance system, if you want," Wufei offered as Duo clambered up the tall machine to open the hatch. The cockpit was barely big enough for two, so Duo powered up the necessary systems to lay Deathscythe on the ground. Duo sat in the command chair, Wufei perched on his left shoulder, and I sat on the chest.
Each of us had our laptops plugged into a different system, and we spent the time working silently. Duo seemed to be handling it alright, but he had so far avoided accessing the weapons system. I wanted to offer to do it myself, to try and shelter him from the pain, but I knew that it wouldn't help, that he had to prove to himself that he could do it. Knowing that and actually listening to myself was two very different things.
We worked diligently, not overlooking the smallest imperfection. It was nearly lunchtime by the time we finished, but Deathscythe was perfect and ready for anything. I just wasn't sure Duo was. He seemed to be handling things alright, working just as hard as he usually did, even when it came to the weapons system, but I had learned long ago that what I saw wasn't necessarily the truth.
Part of me wanted for him to talk to me, wanted him to break down and let it all out, but the rest of me knew that it wouldn't help. He was strong, right now, safe behind his mask, and if I took that away, whatever chance he had of completing this mission would be ruined. Whether I liked it or not, Duo had to do this alone.
==
Breakfast was tense the next morning, filled with an uneasy silence of unsaid words. Quatre opened his mouth several times to say something, but eventually gave up and just gripped Trowa's hand under the table, succumbing to the silence. I was acutely aware of Duo sitting beside him, of the tension in his body, of his slightly uneven breath.
Duo picked at his breakfast, a complete fry-up, and managed a couple of bites before pushing it away.
"Duo, you need to eat something," I said quietly, and he sighed.
"I can't, 'Ro. I'll be sick."
"How about just the toast? For me? Please?"
"I'm sorry, Heero."
It was the tone of his voice, bitter and harsh, that made me shut up. I looked down at my cereal and the thought of actually eating it made my stomach hurt. I sighed and pushed the bowl away, reaching out to lace my fingers with Duo's. His hand was cold and clammy, and I could feel a slight tremor running through them.
"Whatever happens, we'll still love you," I promised softly, and he shuddered.
"I, uh... I think I need a moment alone. Meet me in the hanger in ten?"
I nodded and watched him leave, noticing how his footsteps faltered occasionally. Someone sighed, I think it was Quatre. I could tell that he was on the verge of trying to console Wufei and I, that he was about to start assuring us that Duo was strong and he could handle anything and he'd be alright and he'd come back healthy and sane... but I just didn't want to hear it. I fled to the bedroom, and Wufei soon followed me.
We collapsed on the bed, holding each other tightly, not speaking because we didn't need to. Fear made our hearts race, fears of so many things. Wufei kept whispering 'He'll be fine' over and over again, and I pulled the tie out of his hair to run my fingers through the thin strands.
By the time we regained control of ourselves, by the time we pulled on our masks and hid our hearts, we were five minutes late to see Duo. I don't think he noticed, he was too busy staring at Deathscythe with haunted eyes.
I touched him on the shoulder and he turned to gather us into a three-way hug, pressing his body close to ours. He didn't speak, I'm not sure if he could, and after a brief eternity, he pulled away and climbed into the cockpit. The hatch closed, sealing him away from our sight, our protection, our love. I hoped it wasn't forever.