Countryfied Visser Ode, an animorphs fanfic

DISCLAIMER: This song is in no way written by K.A. Applegate, and is not included in the actual Animorphs Series.

Note: B.S. stands for Backround Singers. Not...well...nevermind...

My country song, as I promised on my homepage

Wraithlord, I know you wanted to play drums, but is a banjo okay?

Wraithlord begins to cry. Birdie pats him on the back. "There there..."

He glares at her, but begins to play the banjo. She picks up her usual guitar. She turns to the country bar audience.

Hidy there, folks! I'll be playin' y'all a song about someone special tonight!

Here we go!

Though this is a country song
The character I sing about,
has probably never been to Tennessee!

B.S. No no noooo!

He's small and slimy,
sucks Kandrona
Never really had a mama,
A feisty feller by the name
of Visser Threeeeeee!

B.S. Yeee HAAAH!

Chorus:
Ooooh little Andie!
Look out for Visser Threeee!
He'd soon as kill you as look at you
And I reckin'
He's probably after meeee!

He likes to catch an Andee-lite,
Though free Hork-BA-jur are quite alright,
But Andee-lites are much more fun to slaaaay!

B.S. Whee!

He gets grumpy quite a lot!
So murder really hits the spot!
And eases all his tension right awaaaaaay!

B.S. PSY-CHO!

Chorus

Esplin Nine-four-double-six,
his reputation kind of sticks,
Most gals vomit when they think
of him!

B.S. BLECH!

But he can also be a hoot!
And I'm sure that he would be cute,
If he didn't slaughter people
at his whim!

B.S. SCARE-EEE!

Chorus

Now maybe if he had a wife,
And chilluns runnin' 'round outside,
He wouldn't be as...cranky,
as he is!

B.S. PFT! SURE!

But I doubt that will ever hap'n,
Since he's only nice to Chapman,
So ladies seldom wantin' to be his!

B.S. DAMN RIGHT!

Ooooh! little Andie!
Feel sorry for Visser Three!
He'd soon as kill you as look at you!
And I reckin' it's because
He's so lonely!

B.S. HE'S. ALL. A-LOOOOOOOOOOOONE!

Birdie-
Thank you! Thank you!

WE LOVE YOU ANIFANS! GOODNIGHT!

Visser Three, from the bar.
Sniff. That was so beautiful!

Birdie sees him. Her eyes widen. She starts to sneak to the back door.

She motions to Wraithlord. He does too.

Hey...WAIT A MINUTE! I DIDN'T GET PAID FOR THE MAKING OF THIS SONG! HORK-BAJIR! GET THEM! Shakes his fist at Birdie.

The performers get out the back door. The Hork-Bajir Controllers go after them.