Disclaimer: Same as always, I own nothing to do with Harry Potter.
Author's Note: Wahoo! Two chapters at once! Pretty good, eh? ;) I was hit with the sudden urge to write so I just had to write two. And, this one's for Verona because it's a little bit angsty. :) I'm actually rather proud of it. :D
Chapter Seven
Christmas holidays arrived quickly and the number of students at Hogwarts had greatly decreased. Keeping in mind Malfoy's threat, Remus had stopped every fight that his friends were involved in. He figured it was a small price to pay so no one found out about him. As long as it stayed harmless like this, he didn't mind it too much. He thought too soon.
Remus was on his way back to the common room from the library when he ran into Lucius.
"Oh ... Sorry," said clumsily.
"Ah, Lupin," Lucius smirked. "Just who I was looking for. I've decided there's another thing I need to uh ... Ask of you."
"What do you me-" But Remus was cut off by Lucius running a ringer down his cheek. He looked horrified and went to protest, but Lucius pressed a finger to the Marauder's lips.
"Ah ah ah ... All I have to do is tell one person and your secret will spread like wild fire." A superior look appeared on Lucius's face as he leaned forwards and kissed Remus. Remus didn't know what to do, but he didn't return the kiss.
"What the BLOODY HELL is going on?!"
Lucius broke off the kiss. Both he and Remus looked over at Sirius who had fire blazing in his stormy blue eyes.
"Ooh ... I'm thinking this is my cue to leave," Lucius said. He smirked at Remus and left rather quickly.
"Well?!" Sirius demanded. "What the hell was that about?!" He folded his arms and glared daggers at Remus.
Remus flinched. He'd seen Sirius get mad like this before, by never at him.
"Sirius," he stammered, "it isn't – it's not – it wasn't what it looked like! I didn't – I didn't want him kissing me." He swallowed.
"Oh no??" Sirius watched as Remus nodded. "Well it sure as hell didn't look like you were pushing him away!" His voice was now a loud roar. It bounced off of the walls of the corridor
"I couldn't ..." Compared to the other boys voice, Remus's own seemed weak and more quiet than usual.
"You couldn't?!" A dry laugh escaped Sirius's lips. "Do humor me, Moony; why couldn't you?" He clenched his jaw.
"I – he ..." Moony trailed off. He couldn't tell Sirius about what Lucius was doing, because then Sirius would want to kick the Slytherin's ass. Then Malfoy would tell everyone what Remus really was. No, he couldn't tell.
Sirius snorted.
"I figured as much," he retorted, his voice edged with ice. He turned to go.
"Padfoot! Sirius!" Remus reach out his hand and gingerly touched Padfoot's shoulder.
"Don't," Sirius warned. He pushed Remus's hand off of his shoulder. "Just fuck off." He walked away.
Remus stood there. Stunned. Sirius's harsh words stung like a slap to the face. All at once, tears started flowing down his cheeks.
Over the next few days, Remus and Sirius avoided each other. This was hard, because they were only Gryffindor's staying at Hogwarts for the holidays. Nevertheless, they managed to do it.
Sirius would always leave the dorm in the morning before Remus woke up. Remus would come into the dorm after Sirius was in bed. But, Sirius always stayed awake until the other Marauder came up from the common room where he was crying.
Yes, Padfoot knew Moony was crying because sometimes he'd hear it. Also, he'd notice that when Remus came into the dorm at night, he'd be sniffing, or his eyes would be red, and the soft light from outside would reflect on his tearstained cheeks. To add to this, Remus was looking far more worse for wear. Sirius knew the other boy was having sleeping problems, and, naturally, he was starting to feel guilty.
'Maybe I shouldn't have been so hard on him,' Sirius thought. He was sitting on the couch in the common room, staring into the fireplace. It was Christmas Eve and he was alone, for Remus was at the Shrieking Shack.
'Remus wouldn't purposely do something like that ... I'll bet Malfoy made him do it. But why couldn't he tell me what was going on? ... Humph. Too bad. If he wants us to get back to the way we were, he'll have to do some serious apologizing.'
Grumpily, Sirius stood up. He stalked up to his dorm and got dressed for bed.
In the Shrieking Shack, the wolf prowled around the room. He knew he wouldn't have any visitors that night – not the majestic Prongs, the cowardly Wormtail, nor the most loyal of them all (at least up until recent events), the wonderful Padfoot.
He howled mournfully at the moon. He wanted the world to know of his sorrow. In his bed, Sirius turned over uneasily when the howl reached his ears.
The wolf clawed at himself. He ignored the pain and the fresh wounds from the transformation earlier. He ripped up tender flesh and reopened old scars. He knew that he ached inside. He wanted something to really ache about. He continued tearing at himself until he was too exhausted to do any further damage. After sending another torn howl at the moon, he lied down on the floor. As he slept, his brilliant silver fur was slowly dyed red.
'Christmas fucking Day. Woohoo,' Sirius thought dryly. Around him were the remains of Christmas wrappings. He kept glancing at Remus's gifts which were sitting, undisturbed, under the tree.
'Where the bloody Hell is her?! ... Not that I care."
Then, at that very moment, the door to the common room opened. Sirius anxiously looked over and his eyes widened in horror at the sight of Remus.
Remus walked into the common room holding on to the wall. His steps were short and tired, and, at least from what Sirius could see, there was barely a part of him that wasn't bruised or cut (he wasn't wearing his robes and he sleeves were rolled up, so Sirius could plainly see every mark). He looked pale and exhausted, and as though he would collapse at any minute. He did.
Instinctively, Sirius dropped the Christmas cookie he was eating and bolted over to the other boy. He caught Moony in mid-faint and brought him over to the couch, before gently setting him down.
"Moony?" Sirius was surprised to find that his voice was just above a whisper. "Jesus Christ ... What did you do to yourself?" He lightly brushed some hair out of Remus's face.
Remus looked up and his eyes met Sirius's.
"I'm sorry," he said tiredly.
"What? Sorry for what?" Sirius saw tears slide out of Remus's eyes.
"Sorry for the other day ..." was the reply. He began crying more freely and heavily. "I shouldn't have let him – I should've told you – I should've –" He coughed on his sobs.
"Shh ... Just relax, Remus. Take your time ... You aren't being rushed." But really going through Sirius's head was, 'Oh God ... I can't believe I did this to him ...Fuck ... I hurt him ... Oh God ...'
Sniffing, Remus continued.
"Lucius Malfoy ... He said ... He said ..."
"He said what?"
"He said if I didn't stop you, James, and Peter from pestering – from pestering him, that he'd tell everybody what I am." He paused to choke on a sob. "And then he – the day you got mad," there was hurt in Remus's voice at the mention of Sirius getting mad, "he said he wanted me to do something else ... And – and – and he kissed me."
Sirius hissed under his breath, "Bastard ..."
"And I couldn't tell you because then Lucius would tell everyone that I'm a werewolf." Once more, the flood gates opened and Remus began crying more than he had all week. "I'm sorry! Don't be mad anymore! Please?" He wrapped his aching arms around Sirius and clung to him tightly.
Sirius looked at Remus's exhausted form that was shaking with sobs. He looked so desperate ... So lonely, so needy. It broke and re-broke Sirius's heart to see Remus break down like this and cling to him so tightly.
"I'm not mad anymore, Moony." He choked back his own sob. "Tomorrow we'll go tell Dumbledore about Malfoy." He kissed Remus's head and magicked up a first aid kit. "You know ... You still haven't opened your Christmas presents."
"You not being mad anymore if the only Christmas present I care about." Replied Remus. He had finally stopped crying and managed a teary smile.
Sirius smiled back and spent the rest of the day babying Remus.
Author's Note: Wahoo! Two chapters at once! Pretty good, eh? ;) I was hit with the sudden urge to write so I just had to write two. And, this one's for Verona because it's a little bit angsty. :) I'm actually rather proud of it. :D
Chapter Seven
Christmas holidays arrived quickly and the number of students at Hogwarts had greatly decreased. Keeping in mind Malfoy's threat, Remus had stopped every fight that his friends were involved in. He figured it was a small price to pay so no one found out about him. As long as it stayed harmless like this, he didn't mind it too much. He thought too soon.
Remus was on his way back to the common room from the library when he ran into Lucius.
"Oh ... Sorry," said clumsily.
"Ah, Lupin," Lucius smirked. "Just who I was looking for. I've decided there's another thing I need to uh ... Ask of you."
"What do you me-" But Remus was cut off by Lucius running a ringer down his cheek. He looked horrified and went to protest, but Lucius pressed a finger to the Marauder's lips.
"Ah ah ah ... All I have to do is tell one person and your secret will spread like wild fire." A superior look appeared on Lucius's face as he leaned forwards and kissed Remus. Remus didn't know what to do, but he didn't return the kiss.
"What the BLOODY HELL is going on?!"
Lucius broke off the kiss. Both he and Remus looked over at Sirius who had fire blazing in his stormy blue eyes.
"Ooh ... I'm thinking this is my cue to leave," Lucius said. He smirked at Remus and left rather quickly.
"Well?!" Sirius demanded. "What the hell was that about?!" He folded his arms and glared daggers at Remus.
Remus flinched. He'd seen Sirius get mad like this before, by never at him.
"Sirius," he stammered, "it isn't – it's not – it wasn't what it looked like! I didn't – I didn't want him kissing me." He swallowed.
"Oh no??" Sirius watched as Remus nodded. "Well it sure as hell didn't look like you were pushing him away!" His voice was now a loud roar. It bounced off of the walls of the corridor
"I couldn't ..." Compared to the other boys voice, Remus's own seemed weak and more quiet than usual.
"You couldn't?!" A dry laugh escaped Sirius's lips. "Do humor me, Moony; why couldn't you?" He clenched his jaw.
"I – he ..." Moony trailed off. He couldn't tell Sirius about what Lucius was doing, because then Sirius would want to kick the Slytherin's ass. Then Malfoy would tell everyone what Remus really was. No, he couldn't tell.
Sirius snorted.
"I figured as much," he retorted, his voice edged with ice. He turned to go.
"Padfoot! Sirius!" Remus reach out his hand and gingerly touched Padfoot's shoulder.
"Don't," Sirius warned. He pushed Remus's hand off of his shoulder. "Just fuck off." He walked away.
Remus stood there. Stunned. Sirius's harsh words stung like a slap to the face. All at once, tears started flowing down his cheeks.
Over the next few days, Remus and Sirius avoided each other. This was hard, because they were only Gryffindor's staying at Hogwarts for the holidays. Nevertheless, they managed to do it.
Sirius would always leave the dorm in the morning before Remus woke up. Remus would come into the dorm after Sirius was in bed. But, Sirius always stayed awake until the other Marauder came up from the common room where he was crying.
Yes, Padfoot knew Moony was crying because sometimes he'd hear it. Also, he'd notice that when Remus came into the dorm at night, he'd be sniffing, or his eyes would be red, and the soft light from outside would reflect on his tearstained cheeks. To add to this, Remus was looking far more worse for wear. Sirius knew the other boy was having sleeping problems, and, naturally, he was starting to feel guilty.
'Maybe I shouldn't have been so hard on him,' Sirius thought. He was sitting on the couch in the common room, staring into the fireplace. It was Christmas Eve and he was alone, for Remus was at the Shrieking Shack.
'Remus wouldn't purposely do something like that ... I'll bet Malfoy made him do it. But why couldn't he tell me what was going on? ... Humph. Too bad. If he wants us to get back to the way we were, he'll have to do some serious apologizing.'
Grumpily, Sirius stood up. He stalked up to his dorm and got dressed for bed.
In the Shrieking Shack, the wolf prowled around the room. He knew he wouldn't have any visitors that night – not the majestic Prongs, the cowardly Wormtail, nor the most loyal of them all (at least up until recent events), the wonderful Padfoot.
He howled mournfully at the moon. He wanted the world to know of his sorrow. In his bed, Sirius turned over uneasily when the howl reached his ears.
The wolf clawed at himself. He ignored the pain and the fresh wounds from the transformation earlier. He ripped up tender flesh and reopened old scars. He knew that he ached inside. He wanted something to really ache about. He continued tearing at himself until he was too exhausted to do any further damage. After sending another torn howl at the moon, he lied down on the floor. As he slept, his brilliant silver fur was slowly dyed red.
'Christmas fucking Day. Woohoo,' Sirius thought dryly. Around him were the remains of Christmas wrappings. He kept glancing at Remus's gifts which were sitting, undisturbed, under the tree.
'Where the bloody Hell is her?! ... Not that I care."
Then, at that very moment, the door to the common room opened. Sirius anxiously looked over and his eyes widened in horror at the sight of Remus.
Remus walked into the common room holding on to the wall. His steps were short and tired, and, at least from what Sirius could see, there was barely a part of him that wasn't bruised or cut (he wasn't wearing his robes and he sleeves were rolled up, so Sirius could plainly see every mark). He looked pale and exhausted, and as though he would collapse at any minute. He did.
Instinctively, Sirius dropped the Christmas cookie he was eating and bolted over to the other boy. He caught Moony in mid-faint and brought him over to the couch, before gently setting him down.
"Moony?" Sirius was surprised to find that his voice was just above a whisper. "Jesus Christ ... What did you do to yourself?" He lightly brushed some hair out of Remus's face.
Remus looked up and his eyes met Sirius's.
"I'm sorry," he said tiredly.
"What? Sorry for what?" Sirius saw tears slide out of Remus's eyes.
"Sorry for the other day ..." was the reply. He began crying more freely and heavily. "I shouldn't have let him – I should've told you – I should've –" He coughed on his sobs.
"Shh ... Just relax, Remus. Take your time ... You aren't being rushed." But really going through Sirius's head was, 'Oh God ... I can't believe I did this to him ...Fuck ... I hurt him ... Oh God ...'
Sniffing, Remus continued.
"Lucius Malfoy ... He said ... He said ..."
"He said what?"
"He said if I didn't stop you, James, and Peter from pestering – from pestering him, that he'd tell everybody what I am." He paused to choke on a sob. "And then he – the day you got mad," there was hurt in Remus's voice at the mention of Sirius getting mad, "he said he wanted me to do something else ... And – and – and he kissed me."
Sirius hissed under his breath, "Bastard ..."
"And I couldn't tell you because then Lucius would tell everyone that I'm a werewolf." Once more, the flood gates opened and Remus began crying more than he had all week. "I'm sorry! Don't be mad anymore! Please?" He wrapped his aching arms around Sirius and clung to him tightly.
Sirius looked at Remus's exhausted form that was shaking with sobs. He looked so desperate ... So lonely, so needy. It broke and re-broke Sirius's heart to see Remus break down like this and cling to him so tightly.
"I'm not mad anymore, Moony." He choked back his own sob. "Tomorrow we'll go tell Dumbledore about Malfoy." He kissed Remus's head and magicked up a first aid kit. "You know ... You still haven't opened your Christmas presents."
"You not being mad anymore if the only Christmas present I care about." Replied Remus. He had finally stopped crying and managed a teary smile.
Sirius smiled back and spent the rest of the day babying Remus.