A/N: Sorry it took so long but I've been busy with a lot of things and I kept putting this off.
After the party was over and the guests retired to their respectful rooms, some of stayed up for a while longer. Guess who!
"I can't believe it! I simply can't believe you M-A-S-H my father!" Elizabeth cried with laughter.
"Aye lass! Marrying his wig, eh? No offense Liz but yer father certainly loves that ratty old thing. Those things are hot an' itchy!" Jack said.
"Jack, have you worn one?" Will asked.
Jack looked around nervously. "Aha! Guilty as charge! So what was the occasion Jackie?" I teased.
"First off: don't call me Jackie. I'm no wench. And it was no special occasion. It was life and death."
I nodded. "So what you're saying it that you had to wear a wig in order to live? Now I heard everything!"
"Well ye weren't there. That's when I 'impersonated an officer of the Royal British Navy,' "Jack mocked in a snooty British accent.
I covered my mouth to hold in the laughter. We talked for another hour or so and went our separate ways. I was going with Jack to the Pearl. One of the guests wasn't capable to go home so he crashed in my room. It didn't bother me in the least.
"So lass ye have yer choice of me quarters or the crew's. So what would it be?"
"Hmmmm tough question. Should I stay with a drunk or a bunch of sex crazed and deprived pirates? Duh Jack!" I exclaimed.
"Thought I give ye a choice," Jack shrugged.
Inside, of course, was one bed. Jack didn't have to say anything so he took out an extra sheet and pillow and placed them on his desk.
"Ye can have the bed and I'm sleeping in me chair, savvy?"
I felt bad. I was kicking him out of his own bed! "Look, Jack this is your room. You should have the bed and I can have the chair."
He shook his head. "No Heather. Yer me guest and a lady for that matter so ye get the bed."
"No I want you to take the bed."
"No, ye have it."
"No, you!"
"Ye!"
"You!"
It went on for another 5 minutes and so I got the bed by Captain's orders as Jack put it. We weren't tired yet so Jack and I talked about the party. Some of Jack's crew was there, but I didn't remember seeing Gibbs.
"Hey Jack wasn't Gibbs invited?"
Jack nodded. "I think he might have passed out and dat's why he wasn't there."
An evil plan hatched in my head just then. But Jack said it aloud first. "Why not ye go and M-A-S-H me first mate? I wouldn't mind seeing his results."
"I could but I don't have my notebook or pen," I told him.
"Ol' Jack here to the rescue!" He opened one of his drawers at his desk and pulled a couple of sheets and feather pen. He handed the materials to me.
I wrote down the questions that I would ask Gibbs. Jack was looking over my shoulder and then went, "Ye don't have sex life on there."
"Jack, I'm sixteen and I still have some more years left in me. I just don't want the image of Gibbs having any kind of sex branded in my memory forever, savvy?"
"Oh I see." He scratched his head. "But why did ye ask me?"
"Shut up," I said.
Jack smirked. "I get it now."
I rolled my eyes. "In your dreams pirate. So where can I find Gibbs?"
"Down with the crew, but I'll be escorting ye down. Don't want ye to get tangled up with me crew."
We got to Gibbs cabin and when we entered, Jack was right. Gibbs was sprawled on the floor with a bottle of rum in his hand. Too bad for him that the rest of the drink was on the floor.
"Wait a sec," Jack said and left. He came back with a bucket of water and tossed it on him.
Gibbs woke up with a start. "Mum I don't wanna go! Wait." He looked up at us. "Yer not me mum and da."
"I hope not," I said. Jack snickered.
"Then why ye wake me up? Bad luck to wake a man who's been sleeping," Gibbs rambled.
"We know mate," Jack said. "Heather here's wants to M-A-S-H ye."
"Huh?"
"M-A-S-H," I repeated. I went over the rules of how it was done and Gibbs understood about half of what I said.
"Just go with it," Jack told him.
We all sat around in a circle as the exquisite torture began (for me that is):
"Wives."
"Um, I don't have any lass," Gibbs said.
"Names if ye want to marry," Jack explained.
"Oh! Well, um, Plum and AnaMaria and Scarlet."
"AnaMaria? And Plum the head bartender at Land Of Rum in Tortuga? That Plum?" Jack asked.
Gibbs shrugged. "I like women that are feisty and Plum is."
"What about AnaMaria and Scarlet?" I asked.
"Ana's tough despite she's a woman and pretty. Scarlet slapped the hell out of Jack so she has spunk."
I started cracking up when Jack's face turned bright red. Man, I wished I had my camera for that sight!
"Okay, Gibbs. Where would you want your wedding to be held?"
"A ship lass. A pirate has to be wed on board a ship. And I guess if yer woman is devoted to her religion then a church but for me nothing beats a bar!"
"Dress color."
"White, black, and red," Gibbs replied. "My favorite colors."
"Tux color."
"Black, blue, and grey."
"Okay car, err, I mean mode of transportation."
Gibbs responded with a ship, sailboat, and a carriage. He thought carriages were nice looking.
"Color then."
The reply: brown, baby blue, and green (by me).
Pet was up next.
"A parrot, cat, and dog. Manly animals!"
"Job."
"First mate, captain (one day), and commodore. I'll show Norrington how to do it right!"
"Okay Gibbs we have money."
He said 2 million, 100 thousand, and 5 hundred thousand.
"Kids sir."
"I don't like them. But maybe three, two, and it better be zero!"
"Gender if you did."
"All girls, all boys, and one of each I suppose."
"Last question: Are women really bad luck?"
"Hell yes they are!"
"But look at Liz and Ana. Did they really bring bad luck to you?"
"Well, not really. What that is what I was told!"
Shaking my head, I went to four and started figuring Gibbs life out. Jack was growing ever impatient and was literally bouncing out of his seat!
"Gibbs this is your life:
Living in a mansion,
Scarlet is your wife,
Wedding held at a church,
Red wedding dress,
Black tux,
Ship,
A green one,
Parrot but make sure he can talk so everyone understands,
First Mate,
$500,000,
No kids,
If you did then they would be all girls (Gibbs cursed himself. He still thinks girls are bad luck),
And according to this women are bad luck, but we know they're really not."
Gibbs wanted to keep his list so I gave it to him. Jack and I left him to head back to the captain's quarters.
We're we ever tired! We went inside and Jack went to the chair and me to the bed. Tomorrow was going to be a long day as I closed my eyes. I planned on having Barbossa as my next victim.
TBC......................
Thank you Toya and Chica from San Diablo for the ideas! I really needed them! Stay tune for the next chapter starring Barbossa! Muhahaha!
After the party was over and the guests retired to their respectful rooms, some of stayed up for a while longer. Guess who!
"I can't believe it! I simply can't believe you M-A-S-H my father!" Elizabeth cried with laughter.
"Aye lass! Marrying his wig, eh? No offense Liz but yer father certainly loves that ratty old thing. Those things are hot an' itchy!" Jack said.
"Jack, have you worn one?" Will asked.
Jack looked around nervously. "Aha! Guilty as charge! So what was the occasion Jackie?" I teased.
"First off: don't call me Jackie. I'm no wench. And it was no special occasion. It was life and death."
I nodded. "So what you're saying it that you had to wear a wig in order to live? Now I heard everything!"
"Well ye weren't there. That's when I 'impersonated an officer of the Royal British Navy,' "Jack mocked in a snooty British accent.
I covered my mouth to hold in the laughter. We talked for another hour or so and went our separate ways. I was going with Jack to the Pearl. One of the guests wasn't capable to go home so he crashed in my room. It didn't bother me in the least.
"So lass ye have yer choice of me quarters or the crew's. So what would it be?"
"Hmmmm tough question. Should I stay with a drunk or a bunch of sex crazed and deprived pirates? Duh Jack!" I exclaimed.
"Thought I give ye a choice," Jack shrugged.
Inside, of course, was one bed. Jack didn't have to say anything so he took out an extra sheet and pillow and placed them on his desk.
"Ye can have the bed and I'm sleeping in me chair, savvy?"
I felt bad. I was kicking him out of his own bed! "Look, Jack this is your room. You should have the bed and I can have the chair."
He shook his head. "No Heather. Yer me guest and a lady for that matter so ye get the bed."
"No I want you to take the bed."
"No, ye have it."
"No, you!"
"Ye!"
"You!"
It went on for another 5 minutes and so I got the bed by Captain's orders as Jack put it. We weren't tired yet so Jack and I talked about the party. Some of Jack's crew was there, but I didn't remember seeing Gibbs.
"Hey Jack wasn't Gibbs invited?"
Jack nodded. "I think he might have passed out and dat's why he wasn't there."
An evil plan hatched in my head just then. But Jack said it aloud first. "Why not ye go and M-A-S-H me first mate? I wouldn't mind seeing his results."
"I could but I don't have my notebook or pen," I told him.
"Ol' Jack here to the rescue!" He opened one of his drawers at his desk and pulled a couple of sheets and feather pen. He handed the materials to me.
I wrote down the questions that I would ask Gibbs. Jack was looking over my shoulder and then went, "Ye don't have sex life on there."
"Jack, I'm sixteen and I still have some more years left in me. I just don't want the image of Gibbs having any kind of sex branded in my memory forever, savvy?"
"Oh I see." He scratched his head. "But why did ye ask me?"
"Shut up," I said.
Jack smirked. "I get it now."
I rolled my eyes. "In your dreams pirate. So where can I find Gibbs?"
"Down with the crew, but I'll be escorting ye down. Don't want ye to get tangled up with me crew."
We got to Gibbs cabin and when we entered, Jack was right. Gibbs was sprawled on the floor with a bottle of rum in his hand. Too bad for him that the rest of the drink was on the floor.
"Wait a sec," Jack said and left. He came back with a bucket of water and tossed it on him.
Gibbs woke up with a start. "Mum I don't wanna go! Wait." He looked up at us. "Yer not me mum and da."
"I hope not," I said. Jack snickered.
"Then why ye wake me up? Bad luck to wake a man who's been sleeping," Gibbs rambled.
"We know mate," Jack said. "Heather here's wants to M-A-S-H ye."
"Huh?"
"M-A-S-H," I repeated. I went over the rules of how it was done and Gibbs understood about half of what I said.
"Just go with it," Jack told him.
We all sat around in a circle as the exquisite torture began (for me that is):
"Wives."
"Um, I don't have any lass," Gibbs said.
"Names if ye want to marry," Jack explained.
"Oh! Well, um, Plum and AnaMaria and Scarlet."
"AnaMaria? And Plum the head bartender at Land Of Rum in Tortuga? That Plum?" Jack asked.
Gibbs shrugged. "I like women that are feisty and Plum is."
"What about AnaMaria and Scarlet?" I asked.
"Ana's tough despite she's a woman and pretty. Scarlet slapped the hell out of Jack so she has spunk."
I started cracking up when Jack's face turned bright red. Man, I wished I had my camera for that sight!
"Okay, Gibbs. Where would you want your wedding to be held?"
"A ship lass. A pirate has to be wed on board a ship. And I guess if yer woman is devoted to her religion then a church but for me nothing beats a bar!"
"Dress color."
"White, black, and red," Gibbs replied. "My favorite colors."
"Tux color."
"Black, blue, and grey."
"Okay car, err, I mean mode of transportation."
Gibbs responded with a ship, sailboat, and a carriage. He thought carriages were nice looking.
"Color then."
The reply: brown, baby blue, and green (by me).
Pet was up next.
"A parrot, cat, and dog. Manly animals!"
"Job."
"First mate, captain (one day), and commodore. I'll show Norrington how to do it right!"
"Okay Gibbs we have money."
He said 2 million, 100 thousand, and 5 hundred thousand.
"Kids sir."
"I don't like them. But maybe three, two, and it better be zero!"
"Gender if you did."
"All girls, all boys, and one of each I suppose."
"Last question: Are women really bad luck?"
"Hell yes they are!"
"But look at Liz and Ana. Did they really bring bad luck to you?"
"Well, not really. What that is what I was told!"
Shaking my head, I went to four and started figuring Gibbs life out. Jack was growing ever impatient and was literally bouncing out of his seat!
"Gibbs this is your life:
Living in a mansion,
Scarlet is your wife,
Wedding held at a church,
Red wedding dress,
Black tux,
Ship,
A green one,
Parrot but make sure he can talk so everyone understands,
First Mate,
$500,000,
No kids,
If you did then they would be all girls (Gibbs cursed himself. He still thinks girls are bad luck),
And according to this women are bad luck, but we know they're really not."
Gibbs wanted to keep his list so I gave it to him. Jack and I left him to head back to the captain's quarters.
We're we ever tired! We went inside and Jack went to the chair and me to the bed. Tomorrow was going to be a long day as I closed my eyes. I planned on having Barbossa as my next victim.
TBC......................
Thank you Toya and Chica from San Diablo for the ideas! I really needed them! Stay tune for the next chapter starring Barbossa! Muhahaha!