Title: Chills
Author: Liz Williams
Disclaimer: Don't own them even a little bit. Have massive student loans and a huge cactus and Venus fly trap collection, but that's pretty much it if any one wants to sue.
Summary: Getting warmer all the time.
Thanks for the feedback, it keeps me writing.
A/N: Sorry this took so long, life interfered at it took my beta a while to get this part back to me. In reparation it's pretty much the bulk of the story, there's a about two pages left after this to tie up some loose ends.
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"If you want to get in the shower, I'll start a pot of coffee for you so that you'll have something warm to drink when you get out." Grissom didn't look at Sara as he spoke, unsure of his welcome in her house. Fearing she'd asking to leave. Fearing that she'd ask him to stay while she showered.
"You don't have to do that, Gris." Sara had warmed up enough on the drive over that her teeth were no longer chattering. They stood next to the island that separated her kitchen and living room, facing each other awkwardly, looking everywhere except at each other.
"Go, get warm."
There was really nothing to say, so Sara headed down the short hallway to her room to get a change of clothes and shower. Taking off her sodden shoes and socks, she could hear cupboard doors systematically being opening and shut as Grissom rummaged around her tiny kitchen preparing to make coffee.
Sara had just stripped off Grissom's jacket and her sweater when she remembered that she didn't have any ground coffee left -- just a bag of specialty beans that Greg had given her, in the freezer. Debating the merits of a hot drink after her shower, Sara decided she could really do with a cup of coffee to warm up her insides.
"Sara, I can't find your coffee," Grissom called from just a few feet in front of her.
"It's in the freezer."
Grissom jumped when she spoke from directly behind him.
"Jesus, Sara! You almost gave me a heart attack." He turned to face her, smiling to take the sting out of his words. The smile froze along with the rest of his body as he took in the vision before him.
Hair damp and curling wildly, skin porcelain pale, cheeks flushed red from cold. She looked so young, so beautiful. Unable to stop himself Grissom's gazed dropped from her face following the curve of her long neck to the front of her t-shirt. Her white t-shirt. Her white, wet t-shirt. Her white, wet, nearly transparent t-shirt.
Some small corner of Grissom's brain that still possessed coherent thought told him to turn around, that he was her boss, that this wasn't proper. A much larger part of his brain beat that part down as he raked his gaze over her chest. He could clearly see the dark shadow of the aureolae surrounding her erect nipples.
As if in a dream, he let his gaze rest on her chest. He could see the flutter of her heart under her left breast. The part of him that was and would always be a scientist started counting her heartbeats. Her heartrate was a little fast -- in fact, it seemed to be accelerating by the second.
Slowly, Grissom reached up to tuck an errant curl behind Sara's ear. Task done, he gathered the courage to look into Sara's eyes, worried that she'd be angry with the way his gaze had wandered over her. Scared she'd be encouraging. Utterly petrified that her eyes would be indifferent, proof that he had waited too long to figure this out.
He let his hand drift down to her neck, thumb gently caressing the underside of her jaw. Taking a deep breath, embracing the now-or-never feeling coursing through him, he tore his gaze away from his her neck to her deep brown eyes.
What he saw there was everything that he thought he might see: anger, and encouragement tempered by a wall of feigned indifference. What he didn't expect to see -- what he had never seen -- was fear. In all the years he had known her, he had never before seen fear in her eyes. What had he done? How was it that his touching her scared her so much?
"Sara," he breathed, and stopped. He never knew what to say to her. Her name was all he ever seemed to be able to get out. If words failed him, Grissom decided, then perhaps it was time for actions.
Grissom's tongue came out and moistened his lips. Sara's gaze dropped from his, as she unconsciously mimicked his action. Slowly, Grissom moved forward until there was just a whisper of space between them. His hand slid from her jaw to toy with the fine hairs on the back of her neck. Giving her every opportunity to pull away, he brought his lips to rest on hers.
It wasn't even really a kiss, more a gentle brushing of lips. Part of Grissom wanted to deepen the kiss. He was aching with the desire to taste her at last, but the fear he had seen in her eyes held him back.
Slowly, he pulled back far enough to look Sara in the eye, trying to make sure that this was still what she wanted. He saw that the anger and indifference was gone, replaced by disbelief and joy. Yet the fear was still there.
"Sara." Again, just her name.
"You know, Gris, at some point you're going to have to figure out what to say past my name." As she spoke, Sara raised her hand to run it tentatively over his bearded cheek. She had caressed his cheek once before under the guise of wiping some chalk off, but he hadn't had the beard then. Nor had they just shared their first kiss.
Sara was proud of the fact that she could speak. Her legs were threatening to give way at any second, and if Grissom kept playing with the hair on the back of her neck for much longer she could very well embarrass herself and start purring.
Since he hadn't pulled away from her touch, Sara started to explore his face, bringing up her other hand to help map out the familiar yet new face before her. His beard tickled the palm of her hand and she shivered as she imagined the prickly sensation on other, much more sensitive parts of her body.
"You shivered." The concern that laced his voice made Sara smile. It had been a while since she had heard that tone, and she had feared that she would never hear it again. "You're still cold." At one time, she might have asked him with a smile what he was going to do to warm her up, but the time of trading quips had passed. She hoped that it was not gone for good.
"Sara?" Grissom was looking at her, concern starting to overpower the arousal that had been dominant since he had caught sight of her in the hallway.
"Sorry, I was just thinking of times past. Anyway, I'm not cold." The disbelief was clear on Grissom's face. "Okay, I might still be a bit cold, but I promise you it's the furthest thing from my mind right now."
"And what exactly is on your mind, Sara?" There was the smirk that she hadn't seen in ages. The playfulness. But she was not in the mood to play; this was too important.
"I'm trying to figure out what exactly is going on here. What this means to you." She lost her courage, dropping her hands to her side and her eyes to his chest. "When you'll push me away again."
"A few months ago you said that you were always over-talking around me. I wish I had that problem. When I'm around you, I lose all my words."
"Grissom, you're one of the most brilliant people I've ever met. You're well read on a wide variety of subjects, and I've seen you lecture for hours without missing a beat or losing the interest of your audience."
"That's easy, Sara. It's not personal. With you, I'm scared of saying too much, of saying the wrong thing."
"So saying nothing at all is better?" Frustrated, Sara tried to take a step away from him. Grissom's hand tightened around the back of her neck holding her to him for a moment, before letting her go. Immediately, Sara missed its warmth.
"I don't know what you want me to say, Sara. I wish I had the words to tell you what I feel."
"Grissom. You can tell a suspect with apparent ease what you feel for me -- what you've felt for me for years. Why in the hell can't you tell me?"
He was frozen, totally unable to move, even to breathe. She had heard. She had somehow heard what he had said to Lurie. God, how had that happened?
"I was behind the glass." She was answering the question that must have been in his eyes. "I wanted to see the guy that had killed her. I wanted to know why he had done it."
"I never meant for you to hear that." But now that he knew she had, he wondered if that would make it easier, since she knew what was in his heart. Taking a quick glance at her eyes, bright with confusion and anger, he knew that would not be the case.
"Sara, please try to understand that this – talking, sharing my feelings -- is not easy for me. Doing it with you is even harder." It had been getting harder since they found Debbie's body.
"But why?"
"Because with you it really matters. You have the power to destroy me." Having finally voiced his fear did not make it any easier to live with. "What I feel for you is bigger then anything I have ever felt for anyone else in my life."
"You think that's any less true of me?" Grissom had often wondered how deep Sara's feelings had run. Now he could see the naked longing in her eyes, he could see the feelings that she had kept hidden from him for years were just as deep as his own.
"Yes... I can see that you feel for me, but what I want to know is, why?" The genuine bewilderment in his eyes broke Sara's heart. It was apparent that he really could not fathom why she would feel that way about him.
"Grissom, you are a brilliant man. I could spend the rest of life just talking to you and never be bored. When you let yourself, you have a wicked sense of humour and great sense of fun. I've seen how gentle and caring you are." Seeing the desperate hope she took a step forward to bridge the gap between them. "You intrigue me, challenge me. You make me look for the not- so-obvious answers." This time, when she brought her hand up to his rough cheek there was no hesitation. "Plus, you have the bluest eyes I've ever seen."
It was Sara who initiated their second kiss. Her lips settled on Grissom's, her tongue instantly darting out to taste him. It seemed that was the permission Grissom had been waiting for. His arms came around her, hands roaming her back, pulling her tightly against him. With a groan he parted his lips, dipping his tongue into her mouth. Their tongues duelled, neither truly finding dominance.
Grissom's hands had drifted down to her hips, where they rested before hesitantly pulling her flush against him. Sara could feel his growing arousal and rubbed herself against him.
Sara's hand dropped to the waistband of Grissom's pants, pulling his shirt free and snaking her hand beneath. She could feel the ripple of muscles under flesh as she explored his back. If she raked her nails in long strokes, she found that she could make him shudder.
Not to be outdone, Grissom's hands had been far from idle. Sara found that her shirt was bunched up around her breasts. Pulling her mouth from his, she gasped as his hands brushed the underside of her breast. Her head fell to his shoulder and her hand stilled on his back.
With a deliberate slowness Grissom brought his left had to fully cup Sara's right breast, his thumb coming up to gently rub her straining nipple. Arousal shot from where he touched her, straight to the throb that had been steadily growing between her thighs. She thrust her hips forward, telling him with her body that she did not want him to stop.
It seemed that he gotten her message loud and clear. In a swift move, Grissom ripped Sara's shirt and bra over her head and off her arms. It landed with a wet splat somewhere on the kitchen floor.
Instantly he returned to her breasts, cupping them in his big hands, running his fingers over every inch. Again and again his fingers returned to her nipples, sometimes stroking, other times pinching. The cold and arousal mixed together to make them rock hard. Pleasure combined with pain elicited groans from deep inside her throat.
Grissom's hands trailed down her breasts, coming to rest on her hips. He held her against him for a moment before lifting her and setting her on the counter.
"Gris-–"Sara's inevitable question was cut off when Grissom took her nipple into his mouth. He dragged the flat part of his tongue over the top, causing Sara arch her back. The muscles of her stomach tightened as she felt his fingers trail down to the waistband of her jeans.
Sara let lose a whimper of disappointment as he straightened, taking his mouth from her. Fearing that he was about to stop, she tried to let herself off the countertop. Grissom's hands held her firmly in place.
"Look at me, Sara." His rough voice made Sara shudder internally. It was a command that could not be ignored. Reluctantly she brought her eyes up to meet his. "This is it, no turning back from here."
"Grissom, I've wanted this for as long as I can remember. Why do you think I'd suddenly turn back now?"
"I just want you to be sure. After this, you'll be mine. And I don't share well with others." Sara had to smirk. The last part was certainly true.
"Gris, I've been yours for years now. You just haven't wanted—"
"Don't mistake my not acting for not wanting." His hot gaze traveled from her face, down her naked chest to where his hands toyed with the button of her pants.
"Well, how about acting now?" The grin mixed with a dare was all Sara needed to get Grissom moving again. Fingers that she had watch do countless precise experiments now undid her damp jeans with only the slightest trembling.
Leaning back on her elbows, Sara lifted her hips so that Grissom could slide the jeans from her body. It wasn't an easy process, with the wet denim clinging to her long legs, but with a bit of tugging and a lot of giggling on Sara's part, the pants were off along with her underwear.
"I'd like to see you try and do that," Grissom chided with mock sternness. Always up for a challenge, Sara sat up and reached for his pants. "Uh-uh, I'm not done yet."
"Don't see what's left. I'm naked -- you still have on all your clothes," Sara pointed out. Again she reached for him, this time succeeding in dragging the shirt from his body. Leaning forward, Sara placed a soft kiss on his breastbone.
Mischief gripped her as the kiss turned into a nip, and she started placing random kisses and nips across his chest. She deftly evaded his attempts to hold her still, until he slipped his hand up her inner thigh, his fingers coming to rest over her damp heat.
"That's cheating." Even as she protested, her legs spread further apart, allowing him full access. One finger dipped in tentatively, and Sara realized he was making sure she was ready for this. Had she still been capable of speech, she would have told him that she'd been ready for him since she realized he was checking out her chest.
That was the last coherent thought she had as Grissom slipped one, then two fingers into her. He slowly moved them in her, determining what she liked best. His thumb came to rest on the bundle of nerves just above his fingers.
A moan filled the kitchen as Sara began thrusting her hips in time with Grissom's fingers. His thumb began to make tight little circles around her clit. Unable to hold herself upright any more Sara leaned back letting her elbows and forearms support her weight.
Without breaking his rhythm Grissom followed Sara down, kissing her, his tongue mimicking his action lower down. Sara broke the kiss, her body tensing, and closed her eyes tight as she felt her orgasm approach.
"Look at me." Grissom's voice was low, puffs of his breath tickling her lips and cheek. She tried to open her eyes, but it was too hard.
Suddenly Grissom stopped moving in her. Sara let out a growl of protest.
"Look at me." It took a great effort, but Sara managed to open her eyes. "Good girl." Somewhere in the recesses of her mind Sara might have objected to being called a girl, but Grissom had inserted a third finger and Sara couldn't remember her own name.
It only took a couple more hard thrusts to have her rocketing over the edge. Sara felt as if her body was not her own any more as she shook, feeling her inner muscles contract around the fingers deep with in her.
When the shaking had stopped, Grissom slowly withdrew his hand, bringing it slowly to his mouth to taste her. Sara watched through hooded eyes as her breathing evened out. She wanted him again.
"You know, I'm pretty sure I have a perfectly good bed just down the hall."
Raising an eyebrow Grissom pulled her upright. "Perhaps we should investigate it."
Leaning in Sara placed a kiss on the side of his mouth. "Maybe we should," she whispered in his ear, before moving downward, leaving a trail of kisses down to where his neck met his shoulder. "I love the way you taste." As if to prove her point, she gently bit him over his carotid artery.
"You seem to have a problem with biting." Grissom's teasing words tailed off into a moan as Sara bit down harder and pleasure mixed with pain.
"Wanna see what else I can bite?" Sara leaned back, her smirk morphing into distress when she saw that she had left a mark. "Sorry."
Grissom brought his hand up to feel the small indentation that she had left. He felt absurdly proud that she had marked him as hers. He wanted to do the same to her, to make sure that they both knew that she was his, just as he was hers.
Trying to keep his caveman tendencies to himself, Grissom brought Sara flush against him, kissing her hard. His hand dropped down to wrap her long legs around his waist. Stepping back, he took her full weight, groaning as Sara settled against his raging erection. As quickly as he could, Grissom backed up from the island, heading out of her kitchen toward the short hallway that led to her bedroom.
With Sara's legs wrapped tightly around his hips, holding her wet heat tightly against him, every step Grissom took caused her to grind against his arousal. Grissom was sure that he would embarrass himself before they got to her bed. He was ready to give up and just take her on the floor when he felt the bed bump against his legs.
Locked together, they tumbled down, rolling until they were side by side. Sara's legs dropped from him, letting her pull back far enough to undo his pants. Her shaking fingers undid the button and zipper, dipping inside the moment there was enough room.
Understanding her intent, Grissom grabbed her hands, raising them above her head. Loosely, he cuffed both wrists in one of his big hands, and leaned forward to kiss the pout off her lips.
"Honey, if you touch me now, we'll see just how much of an effect you have on me."
"I want to taste you, Grissom." Her words alone almost sent him over the edge. As it was, he couldn't control the groan that issued from between his lips.
"Part of being older means I have more control -- I can go for longer. Having said that, it takes me longer to get back. This first time, I want to be inside you. We'll have time later." He watched her eyes carefully, again making sure she understood more then just the surface meaning of his words. This was more than a one-time deal. Seeing her nod, he let go of her wrists. "Stay put."
In record time, Grissom had his pants and boxers off, tossing them carelessly on the floor. He came back to the bed, settling himself on top of Sara, taking most of his weight on his arms. Leaning down, he captured her lips in a kiss that was much more chaste then any of the previous, but filled with much more promise.
The heat between them could only be held back for so long, and the kiss didn't stay chaste. Soon, they were nipping at each other's lips, teeth biting, tongues wrestling. Grissom shifted, bringing their hips into alignment. He brought a hand down to make sure she was still ready for him. Despite having satisfied her in the kitchen, he knew it had been a while for her. It had been a longer time for him and he knew the second he was in her that there would be no holding back.
"Nothing will be the same after this," he reiterated, making sure she accepted that.
"Grissom, I don't want to go back to the way things were." She leaned up to kiss him. "Now stop playing around. God, I want you so much."
He eased himself into her slowly, inch by agonising inch. She was hotter and tighter than he could ever have imagined. It had never been like this for him before. When he was fully inside her, he stilled, letting their bodies become accustomed to each other.
"You feel so good, so right." Her only response was to tighten her muscles around him.
"Move. Now." And he did, moving with slow, deep thrusts. He kept the pace slow and steady, watching as Sara's head began to thrash back and forth on the pillow. Leaning down, he licked a trail of sweat that had begun to run down her neck, nipping Sara in the same spot where she had bitten him earlier. She clenched around him as he did so.
Sensitive there, he thought, biting again. Sara growled, bringing her legs up, locking her ankles around his hips.
"Faster," she grunted. "Stop holding back." She raked her nails down his back. The sensation shot to through him, causing his balls to tighten in response. He lost his finesse then, pistoning into her, loosing the steady rhythm he had earlier set.
Keeping his mouth locked on her neck, he felt his control slip for good as the tingling in the base of his being signaled the start of his orgasm. Dimly, he heard Sara's scream as she clenched around him, her nails digging into his spine sending him over the edge. His own shout of pleasure was muffled by her neck.
They lay there, panting in each other's arms, occasionally kissing or licking nearby flesh. As their breathing regulated, Grissom rolled to his side, keeping her pressed tightly against him. A shiver raced through Sara as their bodies cooled. Grissom pulled away to grab the blanket tangled at their feet.
Sara felt him run his hand up her leg as he tugged the blanket around them. She felt him freeze when he stroked her inner thigh. Lazily, she looked up to find him staring at his hand in horror.
"Gris?" Dread filled her as he continued to just stare, unmoving. "Grissom, what's wrong?" She tried to shore up her defences, but they were all gone.
"I didn't use anything. God Sara, I didn't use anything." Suddenly she understood what his panic was about. "I didn't even think. Didn't even occur to me until I touched you now." With a look of appalled fascination Grissom brought up his hand. Their combined fluids coated his fingers.
"Grissom, it takes two, and I didn't think about it either. Thank you for worrying, and for admitting that you were so far gone that it didn't occur to you." She smiled and leaned forward, licking his finger clean.
"Sara, now, this is serious."
"No, it's not. I get a shot once every couple of months. Easier than the pill, which I never remember to take." She saw the look of relief shoot across his face mixed with brief regret and jealousy. The jealousy stayed. "The shots are to regulate my periods and my mood." She could see he had a snarky remark to make on the tip of his tongue, but seemed to think better of it.
Smart man.
A yawn escaped before Sara could think to stop it. Tenderly, Grissom pulled the blanket the rest of the way up, covering them both. He lay down next to her, pulling her back snugly against his chest. Their breathing slowly regulated as they drifted off to sleep.
### TBC
Author: Liz Williams
Disclaimer: Don't own them even a little bit. Have massive student loans and a huge cactus and Venus fly trap collection, but that's pretty much it if any one wants to sue.
Summary: Getting warmer all the time.
Thanks for the feedback, it keeps me writing.
A/N: Sorry this took so long, life interfered at it took my beta a while to get this part back to me. In reparation it's pretty much the bulk of the story, there's a about two pages left after this to tie up some loose ends.
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"If you want to get in the shower, I'll start a pot of coffee for you so that you'll have something warm to drink when you get out." Grissom didn't look at Sara as he spoke, unsure of his welcome in her house. Fearing she'd asking to leave. Fearing that she'd ask him to stay while she showered.
"You don't have to do that, Gris." Sara had warmed up enough on the drive over that her teeth were no longer chattering. They stood next to the island that separated her kitchen and living room, facing each other awkwardly, looking everywhere except at each other.
"Go, get warm."
There was really nothing to say, so Sara headed down the short hallway to her room to get a change of clothes and shower. Taking off her sodden shoes and socks, she could hear cupboard doors systematically being opening and shut as Grissom rummaged around her tiny kitchen preparing to make coffee.
Sara had just stripped off Grissom's jacket and her sweater when she remembered that she didn't have any ground coffee left -- just a bag of specialty beans that Greg had given her, in the freezer. Debating the merits of a hot drink after her shower, Sara decided she could really do with a cup of coffee to warm up her insides.
"Sara, I can't find your coffee," Grissom called from just a few feet in front of her.
"It's in the freezer."
Grissom jumped when she spoke from directly behind him.
"Jesus, Sara! You almost gave me a heart attack." He turned to face her, smiling to take the sting out of his words. The smile froze along with the rest of his body as he took in the vision before him.
Hair damp and curling wildly, skin porcelain pale, cheeks flushed red from cold. She looked so young, so beautiful. Unable to stop himself Grissom's gazed dropped from her face following the curve of her long neck to the front of her t-shirt. Her white t-shirt. Her white, wet t-shirt. Her white, wet, nearly transparent t-shirt.
Some small corner of Grissom's brain that still possessed coherent thought told him to turn around, that he was her boss, that this wasn't proper. A much larger part of his brain beat that part down as he raked his gaze over her chest. He could clearly see the dark shadow of the aureolae surrounding her erect nipples.
As if in a dream, he let his gaze rest on her chest. He could see the flutter of her heart under her left breast. The part of him that was and would always be a scientist started counting her heartbeats. Her heartrate was a little fast -- in fact, it seemed to be accelerating by the second.
Slowly, Grissom reached up to tuck an errant curl behind Sara's ear. Task done, he gathered the courage to look into Sara's eyes, worried that she'd be angry with the way his gaze had wandered over her. Scared she'd be encouraging. Utterly petrified that her eyes would be indifferent, proof that he had waited too long to figure this out.
He let his hand drift down to her neck, thumb gently caressing the underside of her jaw. Taking a deep breath, embracing the now-or-never feeling coursing through him, he tore his gaze away from his her neck to her deep brown eyes.
What he saw there was everything that he thought he might see: anger, and encouragement tempered by a wall of feigned indifference. What he didn't expect to see -- what he had never seen -- was fear. In all the years he had known her, he had never before seen fear in her eyes. What had he done? How was it that his touching her scared her so much?
"Sara," he breathed, and stopped. He never knew what to say to her. Her name was all he ever seemed to be able to get out. If words failed him, Grissom decided, then perhaps it was time for actions.
Grissom's tongue came out and moistened his lips. Sara's gaze dropped from his, as she unconsciously mimicked his action. Slowly, Grissom moved forward until there was just a whisper of space between them. His hand slid from her jaw to toy with the fine hairs on the back of her neck. Giving her every opportunity to pull away, he brought his lips to rest on hers.
It wasn't even really a kiss, more a gentle brushing of lips. Part of Grissom wanted to deepen the kiss. He was aching with the desire to taste her at last, but the fear he had seen in her eyes held him back.
Slowly, he pulled back far enough to look Sara in the eye, trying to make sure that this was still what she wanted. He saw that the anger and indifference was gone, replaced by disbelief and joy. Yet the fear was still there.
"Sara." Again, just her name.
"You know, Gris, at some point you're going to have to figure out what to say past my name." As she spoke, Sara raised her hand to run it tentatively over his bearded cheek. She had caressed his cheek once before under the guise of wiping some chalk off, but he hadn't had the beard then. Nor had they just shared their first kiss.
Sara was proud of the fact that she could speak. Her legs were threatening to give way at any second, and if Grissom kept playing with the hair on the back of her neck for much longer she could very well embarrass herself and start purring.
Since he hadn't pulled away from her touch, Sara started to explore his face, bringing up her other hand to help map out the familiar yet new face before her. His beard tickled the palm of her hand and she shivered as she imagined the prickly sensation on other, much more sensitive parts of her body.
"You shivered." The concern that laced his voice made Sara smile. It had been a while since she had heard that tone, and she had feared that she would never hear it again. "You're still cold." At one time, she might have asked him with a smile what he was going to do to warm her up, but the time of trading quips had passed. She hoped that it was not gone for good.
"Sara?" Grissom was looking at her, concern starting to overpower the arousal that had been dominant since he had caught sight of her in the hallway.
"Sorry, I was just thinking of times past. Anyway, I'm not cold." The disbelief was clear on Grissom's face. "Okay, I might still be a bit cold, but I promise you it's the furthest thing from my mind right now."
"And what exactly is on your mind, Sara?" There was the smirk that she hadn't seen in ages. The playfulness. But she was not in the mood to play; this was too important.
"I'm trying to figure out what exactly is going on here. What this means to you." She lost her courage, dropping her hands to her side and her eyes to his chest. "When you'll push me away again."
"A few months ago you said that you were always over-talking around me. I wish I had that problem. When I'm around you, I lose all my words."
"Grissom, you're one of the most brilliant people I've ever met. You're well read on a wide variety of subjects, and I've seen you lecture for hours without missing a beat or losing the interest of your audience."
"That's easy, Sara. It's not personal. With you, I'm scared of saying too much, of saying the wrong thing."
"So saying nothing at all is better?" Frustrated, Sara tried to take a step away from him. Grissom's hand tightened around the back of her neck holding her to him for a moment, before letting her go. Immediately, Sara missed its warmth.
"I don't know what you want me to say, Sara. I wish I had the words to tell you what I feel."
"Grissom. You can tell a suspect with apparent ease what you feel for me -- what you've felt for me for years. Why in the hell can't you tell me?"
He was frozen, totally unable to move, even to breathe. She had heard. She had somehow heard what he had said to Lurie. God, how had that happened?
"I was behind the glass." She was answering the question that must have been in his eyes. "I wanted to see the guy that had killed her. I wanted to know why he had done it."
"I never meant for you to hear that." But now that he knew she had, he wondered if that would make it easier, since she knew what was in his heart. Taking a quick glance at her eyes, bright with confusion and anger, he knew that would not be the case.
"Sara, please try to understand that this – talking, sharing my feelings -- is not easy for me. Doing it with you is even harder." It had been getting harder since they found Debbie's body.
"But why?"
"Because with you it really matters. You have the power to destroy me." Having finally voiced his fear did not make it any easier to live with. "What I feel for you is bigger then anything I have ever felt for anyone else in my life."
"You think that's any less true of me?" Grissom had often wondered how deep Sara's feelings had run. Now he could see the naked longing in her eyes, he could see the feelings that she had kept hidden from him for years were just as deep as his own.
"Yes... I can see that you feel for me, but what I want to know is, why?" The genuine bewilderment in his eyes broke Sara's heart. It was apparent that he really could not fathom why she would feel that way about him.
"Grissom, you are a brilliant man. I could spend the rest of life just talking to you and never be bored. When you let yourself, you have a wicked sense of humour and great sense of fun. I've seen how gentle and caring you are." Seeing the desperate hope she took a step forward to bridge the gap between them. "You intrigue me, challenge me. You make me look for the not- so-obvious answers." This time, when she brought her hand up to his rough cheek there was no hesitation. "Plus, you have the bluest eyes I've ever seen."
It was Sara who initiated their second kiss. Her lips settled on Grissom's, her tongue instantly darting out to taste him. It seemed that was the permission Grissom had been waiting for. His arms came around her, hands roaming her back, pulling her tightly against him. With a groan he parted his lips, dipping his tongue into her mouth. Their tongues duelled, neither truly finding dominance.
Grissom's hands had drifted down to her hips, where they rested before hesitantly pulling her flush against him. Sara could feel his growing arousal and rubbed herself against him.
Sara's hand dropped to the waistband of Grissom's pants, pulling his shirt free and snaking her hand beneath. She could feel the ripple of muscles under flesh as she explored his back. If she raked her nails in long strokes, she found that she could make him shudder.
Not to be outdone, Grissom's hands had been far from idle. Sara found that her shirt was bunched up around her breasts. Pulling her mouth from his, she gasped as his hands brushed the underside of her breast. Her head fell to his shoulder and her hand stilled on his back.
With a deliberate slowness Grissom brought his left had to fully cup Sara's right breast, his thumb coming up to gently rub her straining nipple. Arousal shot from where he touched her, straight to the throb that had been steadily growing between her thighs. She thrust her hips forward, telling him with her body that she did not want him to stop.
It seemed that he gotten her message loud and clear. In a swift move, Grissom ripped Sara's shirt and bra over her head and off her arms. It landed with a wet splat somewhere on the kitchen floor.
Instantly he returned to her breasts, cupping them in his big hands, running his fingers over every inch. Again and again his fingers returned to her nipples, sometimes stroking, other times pinching. The cold and arousal mixed together to make them rock hard. Pleasure combined with pain elicited groans from deep inside her throat.
Grissom's hands trailed down her breasts, coming to rest on her hips. He held her against him for a moment before lifting her and setting her on the counter.
"Gris-–"Sara's inevitable question was cut off when Grissom took her nipple into his mouth. He dragged the flat part of his tongue over the top, causing Sara arch her back. The muscles of her stomach tightened as she felt his fingers trail down to the waistband of her jeans.
Sara let lose a whimper of disappointment as he straightened, taking his mouth from her. Fearing that he was about to stop, she tried to let herself off the countertop. Grissom's hands held her firmly in place.
"Look at me, Sara." His rough voice made Sara shudder internally. It was a command that could not be ignored. Reluctantly she brought her eyes up to meet his. "This is it, no turning back from here."
"Grissom, I've wanted this for as long as I can remember. Why do you think I'd suddenly turn back now?"
"I just want you to be sure. After this, you'll be mine. And I don't share well with others." Sara had to smirk. The last part was certainly true.
"Gris, I've been yours for years now. You just haven't wanted—"
"Don't mistake my not acting for not wanting." His hot gaze traveled from her face, down her naked chest to where his hands toyed with the button of her pants.
"Well, how about acting now?" The grin mixed with a dare was all Sara needed to get Grissom moving again. Fingers that she had watch do countless precise experiments now undid her damp jeans with only the slightest trembling.
Leaning back on her elbows, Sara lifted her hips so that Grissom could slide the jeans from her body. It wasn't an easy process, with the wet denim clinging to her long legs, but with a bit of tugging and a lot of giggling on Sara's part, the pants were off along with her underwear.
"I'd like to see you try and do that," Grissom chided with mock sternness. Always up for a challenge, Sara sat up and reached for his pants. "Uh-uh, I'm not done yet."
"Don't see what's left. I'm naked -- you still have on all your clothes," Sara pointed out. Again she reached for him, this time succeeding in dragging the shirt from his body. Leaning forward, Sara placed a soft kiss on his breastbone.
Mischief gripped her as the kiss turned into a nip, and she started placing random kisses and nips across his chest. She deftly evaded his attempts to hold her still, until he slipped his hand up her inner thigh, his fingers coming to rest over her damp heat.
"That's cheating." Even as she protested, her legs spread further apart, allowing him full access. One finger dipped in tentatively, and Sara realized he was making sure she was ready for this. Had she still been capable of speech, she would have told him that she'd been ready for him since she realized he was checking out her chest.
That was the last coherent thought she had as Grissom slipped one, then two fingers into her. He slowly moved them in her, determining what she liked best. His thumb came to rest on the bundle of nerves just above his fingers.
A moan filled the kitchen as Sara began thrusting her hips in time with Grissom's fingers. His thumb began to make tight little circles around her clit. Unable to hold herself upright any more Sara leaned back letting her elbows and forearms support her weight.
Without breaking his rhythm Grissom followed Sara down, kissing her, his tongue mimicking his action lower down. Sara broke the kiss, her body tensing, and closed her eyes tight as she felt her orgasm approach.
"Look at me." Grissom's voice was low, puffs of his breath tickling her lips and cheek. She tried to open her eyes, but it was too hard.
Suddenly Grissom stopped moving in her. Sara let out a growl of protest.
"Look at me." It took a great effort, but Sara managed to open her eyes. "Good girl." Somewhere in the recesses of her mind Sara might have objected to being called a girl, but Grissom had inserted a third finger and Sara couldn't remember her own name.
It only took a couple more hard thrusts to have her rocketing over the edge. Sara felt as if her body was not her own any more as she shook, feeling her inner muscles contract around the fingers deep with in her.
When the shaking had stopped, Grissom slowly withdrew his hand, bringing it slowly to his mouth to taste her. Sara watched through hooded eyes as her breathing evened out. She wanted him again.
"You know, I'm pretty sure I have a perfectly good bed just down the hall."
Raising an eyebrow Grissom pulled her upright. "Perhaps we should investigate it."
Leaning in Sara placed a kiss on the side of his mouth. "Maybe we should," she whispered in his ear, before moving downward, leaving a trail of kisses down to where his neck met his shoulder. "I love the way you taste." As if to prove her point, she gently bit him over his carotid artery.
"You seem to have a problem with biting." Grissom's teasing words tailed off into a moan as Sara bit down harder and pleasure mixed with pain.
"Wanna see what else I can bite?" Sara leaned back, her smirk morphing into distress when she saw that she had left a mark. "Sorry."
Grissom brought his hand up to feel the small indentation that she had left. He felt absurdly proud that she had marked him as hers. He wanted to do the same to her, to make sure that they both knew that she was his, just as he was hers.
Trying to keep his caveman tendencies to himself, Grissom brought Sara flush against him, kissing her hard. His hand dropped down to wrap her long legs around his waist. Stepping back, he took her full weight, groaning as Sara settled against his raging erection. As quickly as he could, Grissom backed up from the island, heading out of her kitchen toward the short hallway that led to her bedroom.
With Sara's legs wrapped tightly around his hips, holding her wet heat tightly against him, every step Grissom took caused her to grind against his arousal. Grissom was sure that he would embarrass himself before they got to her bed. He was ready to give up and just take her on the floor when he felt the bed bump against his legs.
Locked together, they tumbled down, rolling until they were side by side. Sara's legs dropped from him, letting her pull back far enough to undo his pants. Her shaking fingers undid the button and zipper, dipping inside the moment there was enough room.
Understanding her intent, Grissom grabbed her hands, raising them above her head. Loosely, he cuffed both wrists in one of his big hands, and leaned forward to kiss the pout off her lips.
"Honey, if you touch me now, we'll see just how much of an effect you have on me."
"I want to taste you, Grissom." Her words alone almost sent him over the edge. As it was, he couldn't control the groan that issued from between his lips.
"Part of being older means I have more control -- I can go for longer. Having said that, it takes me longer to get back. This first time, I want to be inside you. We'll have time later." He watched her eyes carefully, again making sure she understood more then just the surface meaning of his words. This was more than a one-time deal. Seeing her nod, he let go of her wrists. "Stay put."
In record time, Grissom had his pants and boxers off, tossing them carelessly on the floor. He came back to the bed, settling himself on top of Sara, taking most of his weight on his arms. Leaning down, he captured her lips in a kiss that was much more chaste then any of the previous, but filled with much more promise.
The heat between them could only be held back for so long, and the kiss didn't stay chaste. Soon, they were nipping at each other's lips, teeth biting, tongues wrestling. Grissom shifted, bringing their hips into alignment. He brought a hand down to make sure she was still ready for him. Despite having satisfied her in the kitchen, he knew it had been a while for her. It had been a longer time for him and he knew the second he was in her that there would be no holding back.
"Nothing will be the same after this," he reiterated, making sure she accepted that.
"Grissom, I don't want to go back to the way things were." She leaned up to kiss him. "Now stop playing around. God, I want you so much."
He eased himself into her slowly, inch by agonising inch. She was hotter and tighter than he could ever have imagined. It had never been like this for him before. When he was fully inside her, he stilled, letting their bodies become accustomed to each other.
"You feel so good, so right." Her only response was to tighten her muscles around him.
"Move. Now." And he did, moving with slow, deep thrusts. He kept the pace slow and steady, watching as Sara's head began to thrash back and forth on the pillow. Leaning down, he licked a trail of sweat that had begun to run down her neck, nipping Sara in the same spot where she had bitten him earlier. She clenched around him as he did so.
Sensitive there, he thought, biting again. Sara growled, bringing her legs up, locking her ankles around his hips.
"Faster," she grunted. "Stop holding back." She raked her nails down his back. The sensation shot to through him, causing his balls to tighten in response. He lost his finesse then, pistoning into her, loosing the steady rhythm he had earlier set.
Keeping his mouth locked on her neck, he felt his control slip for good as the tingling in the base of his being signaled the start of his orgasm. Dimly, he heard Sara's scream as she clenched around him, her nails digging into his spine sending him over the edge. His own shout of pleasure was muffled by her neck.
They lay there, panting in each other's arms, occasionally kissing or licking nearby flesh. As their breathing regulated, Grissom rolled to his side, keeping her pressed tightly against him. A shiver raced through Sara as their bodies cooled. Grissom pulled away to grab the blanket tangled at their feet.
Sara felt him run his hand up her leg as he tugged the blanket around them. She felt him freeze when he stroked her inner thigh. Lazily, she looked up to find him staring at his hand in horror.
"Gris?" Dread filled her as he continued to just stare, unmoving. "Grissom, what's wrong?" She tried to shore up her defences, but they were all gone.
"I didn't use anything. God Sara, I didn't use anything." Suddenly she understood what his panic was about. "I didn't even think. Didn't even occur to me until I touched you now." With a look of appalled fascination Grissom brought up his hand. Their combined fluids coated his fingers.
"Grissom, it takes two, and I didn't think about it either. Thank you for worrying, and for admitting that you were so far gone that it didn't occur to you." She smiled and leaned forward, licking his finger clean.
"Sara, now, this is serious."
"No, it's not. I get a shot once every couple of months. Easier than the pill, which I never remember to take." She saw the look of relief shoot across his face mixed with brief regret and jealousy. The jealousy stayed. "The shots are to regulate my periods and my mood." She could see he had a snarky remark to make on the tip of his tongue, but seemed to think better of it.
Smart man.
A yawn escaped before Sara could think to stop it. Tenderly, Grissom pulled the blanket the rest of the way up, covering them both. He lay down next to her, pulling her back snugly against his chest. Their breathing slowly regulated as they drifted off to sleep.
### TBC