SSX Tricky fanfiction... there's something I haven't tried before. This is kind of weird (for goodness' sake, it's from Psymon's point of view), it leaps from topic to topic WITH THE GREATEST OF EASE, and it has no clearly defined beginning. Or end. Just warning you.
(Psymon is way more fun to write for than he has any right to be.)
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I was there when he died, y'know. Motocross accident – at least that's what they told us, but I'm pretty sure that someone had been tampering with the bike. As he lay there in the dirt, his last words were: "Psymon, get a tattoo of me and take up snowboarding." Well, they might've been. They could've been: "Psymon, tell my brother I won't be returning his bike" – I don't know, I wasn't really listening.
Well, anyway... that's why I got this tattoo of him. He talks to me, y'know. He's not going to talk to you, though. Why not? It's 'cause he doesn't like you. He doesn't like you. No, I don't know why. Why should I know? Tattoo Boy makes his own decisions.
What, you don't believe me? Go on, then, ask him. Ask him if he talks to me. He's right there. Ask him.
Didn't say anything, did he? You know why not? IT'S 'CAUSE HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU. HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU see I'm right I'M ALWAYS RIGHT.
Yes, I am. Shut up, Tattoo Boy.
That girl was right too, though. Zoe. I don't always remember the names of the others, but I remember Zoe's name. She knows things. That guy, the blond guy with the weird language, and the peace guy with the weird hair, and that little Japanese kid who scares easy, they don't know anything. Zoe's not like that. Zoe sees stuff that the others don't see.
She hit me today. When we were snowboarding, on the Elysium Alps. I won, of course. Zoe didn't hit me when I won – the Japanese girl hit me when I won. Zoe hit me at the start of the final, when we were coming up to that awesome jump. There I was, all set to pull off my Guillotine move (I CAN DO GUILLOTINE AT THE START OF A RACE SHUT UP. Don't start on that 'not enough adrenaline buildup' stuff again. I am PURE ADRENALINE. I can do Guillotine ANY TIME I WANT. What was I talking about?), and all of a sudden Zoe comes up behind me and shoves me right off my feet.
She doesn't hit like the Japanese girl does. It wasn't just that I didn't expect it (that girl's been hitting me after almost every race now. It's very boring), it's like... she's actually kind of strong, y'know? Didn't think anyone could knock Psymon off his board. Well, apart from Fat Guy. Fat Guy's a bit of a project for me now – if I can knock him off his board ten times, it's a hundred points for me. So far I've managed three. Don't think Fat Guy's too happy with me, to tell you the truth.
So, uh, I got knocked off-balance at that first massive drop – bounced all the way down it and broke every bone in my body. Well, that's what Tattoo Boy tells me, anyway. I don't even feel pain any more. It's really awesome, it's like a superpower or something. You wanna be like me? My advice: train. I spent half my life building up my pain resistance by running into brick walls.
I'd have to say that it's all those years of training that made me what I am today. Walls, danger – they're my old friends.
Which reminds me... they said that there'd be a minor earthquake later today.
Which means that there'll be avalanches.
I laugh in the face of avalanches.
You just watch.