Title: Heaven, Hell, and Somewhere in Between
Authors: Stara and Nataku
Rating: R (Sorry, kiddies!)
Genre: Romance/Alternate Reality
Disclaimer: Okay, it won't be long since you've already read it. WE DON'T OWN SAILOR MOON! Also,
if you're a person who is offended by this for religious reasons, please check the disclaimer and
author notes on the first chapter. Thanks! ^.^
Author Notes: Come on, admit it: you've been dying for this scene!
Special dedication: Aylee the Dragon, who is currently in surgery and will be in the hospital for two weeks. Speedy recovery wishes from Stara-and-Nataku and the gang!
Chapter 7- Food Court Catfights
Makoto's day had started out innocent enough.
She had spent two grueling hours at work doing a photo shoot before finally getting a luncheon
break, and was currently weaving her way through a sea of people at an open-air food court. She
adjusted her sunglasses carefully over her eyes, hoping that no one would recognize her. She
loved being a model, but she missed being able to go places without being followed. To her joy,
no one seemed to recognize her and she quickly bought a slushy before sitting down at a table
next to a blonde guy with short hair. "Can I sit here?" she asked. "All the other tables are
taken..." She pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head, knowing he wouldn't recognize her.
Flipping her brown ponytail over one shoulder, she placed her hands on her hips after setting her
slushy down.
The blonde man, who was also sporting sunglasses and a visor turned around. He smiled faintly
when he saw her. "You can sit uanywhere/u you like," he said, grinning and taking a sip of
his own drink. He ducked the hand she swat at him and laughed. "So, nice day, huh?"
"Yeah." she laughed, sitting down next to him and sighing heavily. "Work is murder though. You're
on your lunch break too?"
He nodded. "It's just so relaxing to be able to come out here and sit and have a drink, and watch
everyone else rushing around like crazy. People are too uptight these days." He leaned back in
his chair and crossed his legs, making himself look comfortable. Well, that was partly true,
anyway. Jadeite was on a break- about a three-week break.
Life on Earth wasn't so bad, once you got used to it. It wasn't Heaven, that's for sure, and he
missed it dearly, but Jadeite had found that he could survive- quite easily- in this society with
very little effort. Why, just the other day he had been walking behind a little old lady on the
street when someone attacked her and stole her purse. Given his extra strength and stamina,
apprehending the crook was no difficulty, and he returned the purse to the woman. She was so
appreciative that she reached into her purse and pulled out a fifty. A fifty! Cha-ching!
Lunchtime!
"I completely agree. People are either working or making someone else's life harder..." she
trailed off, remembering the crowds she always had to avoid. That was the price of fame
though..."What is it you do for a living?"
"I'm...a guard." He smiled, trying to counter how cheesy that had just sounded.
"A bodyguard?" she asked inquiringly, looking mildly interested. "REALLY?! Oh thank Gods! I've been looking everywhere for one. You're not currently employed for anyone are you?"
"Umm...actually I'm quite busy with my current position." Yeah, busy rescuing kittens from trees and finding missing wallets under the bleachers. "On the other hand...what are you paying?" Oh yeah. He could turn this around.
"How much do you want? I'm pretty desperate right now. I've been crowded everywhere I go." she
looked around the open-air food court. "Either this disguise works REALLY well or people here are
just idiots. Anyway, you could basically name your price..."
Jadeite smiled from behind his sunglasses and whipped a card out of his pocket. Actually, they
were really just a bunch of slips of paper Jadeite had scribbled his name and number down in an
hour of boredom...but they served their purposes. He handed it to her.
Jadeite Toriyama
Multi Service
654-9812
Her eyes widened as she looked down at the card and she dropped it in surprise unable to speak
for a minute. Suddenly, she stood up and wrapped her arms around him, tears forming in her eyes.
"Jadeite!"
The blonde man had a momentary panic in which he tried to remember just WHERE AND WHEN he could
know a famous supermodel from. His eyes widened and he pulled back, studying her face.
N-no...it couldn't be...."Kino? Kino Makoto?"
She nodded, the crystalline tears now flowing down in her cheeks. "I can't believe it's you! I
missed you guys so much. Are the others here as well?"
"It's- it's really you?" he cried in a strained voice that told years of repressed and ignored
memories. He threw his arms around her and laughed, embracing her tightly. He took a step back
and looked at her. "I've missed you too! You haven't changed a bit!" His smile was uncontrollable
now. Suddenly, a look of confusion arose on his face. "As far as I know, just Zoicite. But I
haven't been able to find him. We're...we're here on duty."
"Duty-?" she looked confused but what cut off by a loud shriek coming from the side of the food
court. There, standing with a silver-haired man was a young, blonde and she was staring right at
the two of them.
"KINO MAKOTO! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" People froze as they heard the screech and all
eagerly turned their attention to the yelling girl.
Makoto blinked, not recognizing the girl at first before she whispered, "Minako..."
Jadeite and Kunzite exchanged glances. Confusion was written in their eyes, but unlike their
female companions, they were much more subtle about it.
Yeah right.
In two or three leaps, Jadeite was over by Minako's side, hugging her and Kunzite, to his
distress, at the same time. He was also crying as well, but everyone else tactfully decided to
let it go unnoticed. The blonde was hugging and crying and laughing all at the same time- the
vendors became worried.
A girl with sapphire eyes looked up from the book she reading when she heard the yell and she
nearly fainted right then. She stood up and walked over to the group shakily and removed her
glasses, not sure if she was seeing correctly. "Guys?"
"Jadeite," Kunzite gasped. "I'm REALLY happy to see you too, but you're cutting off my air
supply..."
Minako blinked as she saw the girl. "Ami?" This was getting way to weird, people were just
popping out of nowhere!
"Hello! What the fuck do I have to do to buy some food around here?!" a raven-haired goddess
waved a fifty dollar bill in front of a vendor who was too preoccupied by the crying group to
notice her. "ARE YOU IN THERE?!"
A few stands away, a young man with exceptionally long hair and piercing eyes was arguing with a
Coke machine about the proper change it had refused to give back when he heard the commotion from
a little ways away. He turned around to see a crowd of people standing around each other,
chattering and crying, and.... He dropped his beverage. "Oh my God..." he gasped.
Ami turned slightly. "You know who that woman sounds like? She sounds almost exactly like..."
Jadeite blurted out "Rei!" He'd know that foul mouth anywhere....
Rei turned slowly, her jaw falling open as she saw the group of saints and demons gathered in the
middle of the open air food court. Tucking a strand of raven-hair behind her ear she sashayed over to the group, winking at Jadeite, and stood there looking at them curiously. "What are all of you doing here?" she asked innocently.
Kunzite smiled faintly. This was all so crazy...like a dream.....a dream he wasn't ready to wake
up from yet.
Zoicite appeared just behind Rei, much less composed than his fellow saints. "I'd like to know
the same thing."
Minako turned to look at Kunzite and her eyes narrowed slightly. "You're name isn't Malachite is
it?"
Kunzite's smile faded into a look of guilt. "Mina-chan...I didn't think it was right...to tell
you...I'm sorry.." he bowed his head. Zoicite quietly and silently appeared at his side and took
his hand. It wasn't that he didn't trust his Kunzite....just felt safer this way. Besides, he was
in the doghouse too, and was going to need all the support he could get....
Rei raised an eyebrow at the two of them as she saw them hold one another's hands. "Wait a
second....why are you holding hands?"
A familiar voice reached their ears from behind them. "Let's just say that in Heaven, love is
blind." Nephrite's half-smile became visible to the crowd of people.
Jadeite scowled. "Are you kidding? Those two are gayer than Gap employees!"
Minako blinked once, before she dropped the bags she had been carrying and they fell to the
floor, her hand flying to cover her gasping mouth.
Ami froze in place, her eyes fixated on her ex-boyfriend Zoicite and she looked down at their
joined hands in utter shock.
"Wait a minute...you two are GAY?" Rei asked, a smile tickling the edges of her lips.
Zoicite bit his lip and squeezed the other's hand. It had to happen sooner or later....
Makoto looked at Rei anxiously, afraid of what she thought the girl was going to do, and sure
enough...she did.
Nephrite took his place next to Makoto and folded his arms. "Rei, don't you dare..."
"So let me get this straight..." She cracked up. "You had sex with MINAKO and then you TURNED
GAY?!"
Jadeite snorted and clutched Rei's arm to steady himself before receiving a death glare from
Zoicite, and he covered his mouth, but his sides still shook with laughter. He had been waiting
for this day for years....
Minako turned to Rei, her face burning bright red as she glared at the raven-haired psychic.
"Rei!"
"No, this is priceless!!! Oh, how the mighty have fallen." She felt her sides splitting as her
laughter became even louder. "She falls from sex goddess straight down to COLD FISH!"
Kunzite bristled, but his companion patted his arm in an effort to prevent this conflict from
going anywhere...however, Rei and her little circus monkey Jadeite had other ideas.
Jadeite suddenly brightened with a good idea and ran off to one of the vendor stands to buy some
popcorn. This would be some show.
Zoicite glared. "Okay, Rei, I think you've had your fun now..."
Rei looked at him funny. "I am nowhere near through having my fun Zoicite." She turned back to
Minako who was so red with anger that she could have been a tomato. "I guess you just weren't
able to satisfy him Minako...imagine...he had to turn to a man!"
"That's no offense to you of course, I'm sure," Makoto said to Ami who had been standing their
completely dumbfounded throughout the whole thing.
"Stop it, Rei.." Kunzite said threatening.
Nephrite covered his face with one hand and shook his head. This was going to get ugly.
"Oh yeah, no offense to you at all Ami. I mean, it's not like you had much to give in the first
place-" Rei would have finished that statement all the way, but was unable to as she was pounced
on immediately by the blue-haired bookworm.
Minako blinked, surprised that Ami had attacked Rei before her, before jumping into the fight as
well. "DIE, BITCH!"
Zoicite put a hand to Kunzite's chest to prevent him from stepping into the fight. He shook his
head. "It's a battle royale. There's no stopping them now...JADEITE, I KNOW YOU ARE NOT SELLING
TICKETS!"
Jadeite looked up and grinned cheekily. "Hey, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do...."
Kunzite gasped. "Jadeite, you can't just sell tickets at a cat fight between our old
girlfriends!"
Jadeite thought to himself. "You're right...Nephrite, take bets for me!" He winced as he saw Rei
take a hit. "Hey, baby, I'm rooting for ya! Next!"
Surprisingly, Rei was holding up pretty well against the onslaught of the two girls and was
landing as many hits as she was taking.
Makoto sweatdropped and she turned to look at the guys. "So, how's it been going?"
Guys from around the food court, even the vendors, immediately been crowding around the girls, and buying tickets from the guys. "I hope something falls out..."
Kunzite sighed, seeing that there was nothing he could do- for either of the two crazed lunatics.
Two minutes ago they had all been hugging and crying, and now....now....ooh...Mina was down, but
not out! Yeah! He cheered silently.
"Come on, rip her shirt off!"
"Ow, that one hurt."
"That can't be legal."
"Look at those muscles, I bet they're great in bed..."
Zoicite sweatdropped. "Oh, things have been better..." his eyes traveled to the cheering crowd.
Makoto raised an eyebrow as one of the guys actually asked if he could pay to take the three
girls home. "Earth is such an interesting place, I had almost forgotten the vulgarity of men..."
"MEN?! Do you HEAR what Rei is saying?"
"Mother fucker! I-"
She laughed at that one. "She never was the innocent type. Maybe that's why she dated you,
Jadeite." she turned to look at him, curiously. "Was there ever any emotion in your relationship,
or was it just amazing sex?"
The now enterprising blonde was holding a yen in his mouth. He paused to look up for a moment.
"Oh, probably a bit of both. She's a wildcat, but...." he smiled as Rei socked Ami in the gut.
"We're just so perfect for each other, don't you think?"
Ami was actually doing well in the fight, surprising a bunch of people with her hard punches as
everyone had expected her to lose immediately. She knew she was slowing though, and she tried to
communicate with Minako on how to team up on Rei, but the noise from the crowd blocked out her
voice.
"So, you're still interested in her?" Makoto asked, pulling her hair out of its pony tail and
letting it fall around her in soft waves, hoping to catch Nephrite's eye.
Jadeite shrugged. "Who's NOT interested in Rei?" he grinned madly. "But," he added as an
afterthought, "it's been three years."
"And that means...?" she trailed off watching as the fight ended quickly with Rei the victor. She
was sitting on Ami, was kicking weakly, and holding Mina down with her arms. Both looked to
exhausted to be angry anymore.
Jadeite used the fight as an excuse to ignore the previous question, and he went over to hold
Rei's arm up as victor. The crowd cheered, and all those that had placed bets on the psychic
smiled triumphantly.
Zoicite cleared his throat. "Ahem. So...Makoto...er...." he twisted his hands together nervously
Kunzite shook his head. "Don't."
Zoicite bit his lip. "I was wondering...."
"No."
Zoicite blurted out," What's hell like?"
Makoto turned to Zoicite, her eyes laughing. "It's not nearly as bad as people make it out to be.
Actually, it probably is, but I wouldn't know. I was pampered along with the rest of us..." she
stopped a minute, looking at the ground half-ashamed. "We were Lucifer's mistresses."
Kunzite gasped. Nephrite hit his arm and frowned. "You didn't exactly stay faithful, either,
Kunzite..."
Zoicite blushed furiously, and Kunzite was at a loss for words.
Rei stood up, waving at all her adoring fans, making sure that her shirt rode up a bit while she
did so. There were holes in different parts of her jeans from the fight, but she was still mostly
in tact. "Thank you, thank you!" she blew a kiss.
Makoto shook her head. "It's different in Hell. We didn't have any feelings for him at all, but
sex isn't important there like it is here. It's something that people just do when they meet
eachother. It's odd, they treat it almost like a handshake."
Jadeite popped his head up from the crowd. "God, I'd be the most popular and friendly person
THERE!"
She did a slight half-smile and looked over at Nephrite briefly, an apologetic look on her face.
"When I was there, I wasn't embarrassed by it. My morals were gone I guess, something about being
down there does that to you. Now though, I'm so ashamed of what I've done." she shook her head
and tried to fight back tears.
Nephrite smiled encouragingly and put his hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him, her eyes locking with his and she gasped. She had forgotten how handsome he was and how much she had missed him. "Nephrite..." she choked slightly, wrapping her arms around
him.
Minako stood up, brushing herself off and looked over at Kunzite mournfully. She walked up to him
and looked down at her hands, twisting them nervously. "Did you really turn to him because I
wasn't enough for you?" she whispered softly.
Kunzite held her shoulders and looked her straight in the eye. "Minako! Of course not! How could
you ever- never mind Rei, she says things to feed her ego." He pulled her into a friendly
embrace. "Mina-chan, you were my best friend." Her eyes were still questioning. "I was gay before
I even met you; it had nothing to do with you at all....or Ami, right Zoicite?"
Minako nodded. "I never thought of you as gay, but I always got more of a friend vibe from you.
Friend with benefits, anyway."
Rei turned to look at Jadeite curiously and winked at him, smiling seductively. "So Jadeite,
since you're back in town, are you going to wind up in my bed every other day again?"
Zoicite folded his arms. "You know, Jadeite, I'm starting to wonder how you ever got into
heaven."
"That's something I've always wondered about.." Rei said teasingly.
Jadeite shrugged and sauntered over towards Rei. "Stranger things have happened, you know," he
said slyly.
Zoicite's ears perked up at Kunzite's comment, and he scanned the crowd for Ami's figure. When he
spotted her, he ran over to her and helped her off the ground. "Ami?" he said, a little
frightened.
Ami's eyes opened slowly, her vision a little hazy as he came into focus. She knew it was him
before she saw his face though, she would always know. "I'm okay." she smiled weakly, standing
up. "It was you the other day, wasn't it?"
Kunzite let his arms fall to his sides. "I'm sorry for not telling you eariler..."
Minako shook her head. "It's okay. I thought it was you. At first I was scared to death because I
thought I was seeing a ghost."
Rei looked up at him through her lashes, looking more exotic as she did so than usual. Her face
was slightly flushed from the fight, and her hair tousled. She pushed herself up against him and
wrapped her arms around his neck. "Miss me, baby?"
Jadeite slid his arms around her waist and grinned. "Of course, my little demon. And what sorts
of trouble have you been causing all this time?"
"Sadly, all I've been allowed to do is give people real psychic readings. It actually scares them
beyond belief." she smiled evilly. "Who knew the truth could be so painful? And yourself?"
Jadeite thought for a moment. "Earth is all right. These people cheap, though. I jumped into a
lake the other day to retrieve this priceless emerald pendant the other day, and they gave me a
coupon for a free rental of "Corky Romano". Can you believe that?"
Zoicite nodded weakly. "I- I'm sorry, Ami, I didn't realize it was you until you gave me your
number, and by then you were gone. I- I was so angry, too...angry at the fates. I thought it was
some cruel joke being played on me, that you weren't real..."
"It's okay, seriously. I wasn't really expecting you to call either. I was mad at myself for
giving you the number just because you looked like...well you. But, now I'm glad I did give it to
you. I miss having someone to talk to where I don't have to dumb down my words..."
Nephrite held Makoto as she quietly sobbed into his chest, patting her back in comfort. "It's
been a long three years, hasn't it?" he asked sadly.
She nodded and went silent a minute contemplating something, not quite sure how to express it.
"Why are you here?"
Everyone froze at Makoto's last question. At last, the truth would, as Rei put it, be revealed.
The four saints exchanged questioning glances. Could they tell them?
The silence was unnerving. "Uh..W-Why are uyou/u guys here?" Jadeite asked.
Rei rested her head on Jadeite's chest as she sighed and turned to look at everyone. "You see,
Lucifer and his mistress, Serenity, had this fallout or something. So he sent her to Earth on
this quest to sort of give them time apart from one another. We were sent to watch her and make
sure she doesn't hurt herself and stuff."
"REI!" the girls screeched, glaring at the psychic.
Zoicite raised an eyebrow. He whispered to Nephrite "I think there's more to this than that..."
"What kind of quest did he send her on?" Kunzite asked curiously.
"Probably similar to the one He sent him on," Jadeite mused.
Nephrite smacked his arm. "Shhh!" he hissed.
"Just some stupid thing about killing a guardian angel." Rei said nonchalantly returning her
attention to Jadeite.
Makoto groaned at Rei's openness about their mission. "Well, now that you know, how about telling
us what your person is here for. I know you have one, it's obvious."
Each of the guardian's mouths dropped open, including Jadeite's. For a moment, they were
speechless, and none of them dared to move. Zoiste looked at Kunzite, silently asking what they
should do.
The girls looked at each other somberly, not sure whether to be happy or sad. The irony of the
situation was killing them. Why did they have to run into them? But then again, why wouldn't they
want too?
Ami looked at everyone saying the question that was one everyone's mind, "Where are we now?"
"Heaven," Jadeite offered.
"Hell." Rei said at the same time as Jadeite.
Nephrite shrugged. "Or somewhere in between?"
Authors: Stara and Nataku
Rating: R (Sorry, kiddies!)
Genre: Romance/Alternate Reality
Disclaimer: Okay, it won't be long since you've already read it. WE DON'T OWN SAILOR MOON! Also,
if you're a person who is offended by this for religious reasons, please check the disclaimer and
author notes on the first chapter. Thanks! ^.^
Author Notes: Come on, admit it: you've been dying for this scene!
Special dedication: Aylee the Dragon, who is currently in surgery and will be in the hospital for two weeks. Speedy recovery wishes from Stara-and-Nataku and the gang!
Chapter 7- Food Court Catfights
Makoto's day had started out innocent enough.
She had spent two grueling hours at work doing a photo shoot before finally getting a luncheon
break, and was currently weaving her way through a sea of people at an open-air food court. She
adjusted her sunglasses carefully over her eyes, hoping that no one would recognize her. She
loved being a model, but she missed being able to go places without being followed. To her joy,
no one seemed to recognize her and she quickly bought a slushy before sitting down at a table
next to a blonde guy with short hair. "Can I sit here?" she asked. "All the other tables are
taken..." She pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head, knowing he wouldn't recognize her.
Flipping her brown ponytail over one shoulder, she placed her hands on her hips after setting her
slushy down.
The blonde man, who was also sporting sunglasses and a visor turned around. He smiled faintly
when he saw her. "You can sit uanywhere/u you like," he said, grinning and taking a sip of
his own drink. He ducked the hand she swat at him and laughed. "So, nice day, huh?"
"Yeah." she laughed, sitting down next to him and sighing heavily. "Work is murder though. You're
on your lunch break too?"
He nodded. "It's just so relaxing to be able to come out here and sit and have a drink, and watch
everyone else rushing around like crazy. People are too uptight these days." He leaned back in
his chair and crossed his legs, making himself look comfortable. Well, that was partly true,
anyway. Jadeite was on a break- about a three-week break.
Life on Earth wasn't so bad, once you got used to it. It wasn't Heaven, that's for sure, and he
missed it dearly, but Jadeite had found that he could survive- quite easily- in this society with
very little effort. Why, just the other day he had been walking behind a little old lady on the
street when someone attacked her and stole her purse. Given his extra strength and stamina,
apprehending the crook was no difficulty, and he returned the purse to the woman. She was so
appreciative that she reached into her purse and pulled out a fifty. A fifty! Cha-ching!
Lunchtime!
"I completely agree. People are either working or making someone else's life harder..." she
trailed off, remembering the crowds she always had to avoid. That was the price of fame
though..."What is it you do for a living?"
"I'm...a guard." He smiled, trying to counter how cheesy that had just sounded.
"A bodyguard?" she asked inquiringly, looking mildly interested. "REALLY?! Oh thank Gods! I've been looking everywhere for one. You're not currently employed for anyone are you?"
"Umm...actually I'm quite busy with my current position." Yeah, busy rescuing kittens from trees and finding missing wallets under the bleachers. "On the other hand...what are you paying?" Oh yeah. He could turn this around.
"How much do you want? I'm pretty desperate right now. I've been crowded everywhere I go." she
looked around the open-air food court. "Either this disguise works REALLY well or people here are
just idiots. Anyway, you could basically name your price..."
Jadeite smiled from behind his sunglasses and whipped a card out of his pocket. Actually, they
were really just a bunch of slips of paper Jadeite had scribbled his name and number down in an
hour of boredom...but they served their purposes. He handed it to her.
Jadeite Toriyama
Multi Service
654-9812
Her eyes widened as she looked down at the card and she dropped it in surprise unable to speak
for a minute. Suddenly, she stood up and wrapped her arms around him, tears forming in her eyes.
"Jadeite!"
The blonde man had a momentary panic in which he tried to remember just WHERE AND WHEN he could
know a famous supermodel from. His eyes widened and he pulled back, studying her face.
N-no...it couldn't be...."Kino? Kino Makoto?"
She nodded, the crystalline tears now flowing down in her cheeks. "I can't believe it's you! I
missed you guys so much. Are the others here as well?"
"It's- it's really you?" he cried in a strained voice that told years of repressed and ignored
memories. He threw his arms around her and laughed, embracing her tightly. He took a step back
and looked at her. "I've missed you too! You haven't changed a bit!" His smile was uncontrollable
now. Suddenly, a look of confusion arose on his face. "As far as I know, just Zoicite. But I
haven't been able to find him. We're...we're here on duty."
"Duty-?" she looked confused but what cut off by a loud shriek coming from the side of the food
court. There, standing with a silver-haired man was a young, blonde and she was staring right at
the two of them.
"KINO MAKOTO! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" People froze as they heard the screech and all
eagerly turned their attention to the yelling girl.
Makoto blinked, not recognizing the girl at first before she whispered, "Minako..."
Jadeite and Kunzite exchanged glances. Confusion was written in their eyes, but unlike their
female companions, they were much more subtle about it.
Yeah right.
In two or three leaps, Jadeite was over by Minako's side, hugging her and Kunzite, to his
distress, at the same time. He was also crying as well, but everyone else tactfully decided to
let it go unnoticed. The blonde was hugging and crying and laughing all at the same time- the
vendors became worried.
A girl with sapphire eyes looked up from the book she reading when she heard the yell and she
nearly fainted right then. She stood up and walked over to the group shakily and removed her
glasses, not sure if she was seeing correctly. "Guys?"
"Jadeite," Kunzite gasped. "I'm REALLY happy to see you too, but you're cutting off my air
supply..."
Minako blinked as she saw the girl. "Ami?" This was getting way to weird, people were just
popping out of nowhere!
"Hello! What the fuck do I have to do to buy some food around here?!" a raven-haired goddess
waved a fifty dollar bill in front of a vendor who was too preoccupied by the crying group to
notice her. "ARE YOU IN THERE?!"
A few stands away, a young man with exceptionally long hair and piercing eyes was arguing with a
Coke machine about the proper change it had refused to give back when he heard the commotion from
a little ways away. He turned around to see a crowd of people standing around each other,
chattering and crying, and.... He dropped his beverage. "Oh my God..." he gasped.
Ami turned slightly. "You know who that woman sounds like? She sounds almost exactly like..."
Jadeite blurted out "Rei!" He'd know that foul mouth anywhere....
Rei turned slowly, her jaw falling open as she saw the group of saints and demons gathered in the
middle of the open air food court. Tucking a strand of raven-hair behind her ear she sashayed over to the group, winking at Jadeite, and stood there looking at them curiously. "What are all of you doing here?" she asked innocently.
Kunzite smiled faintly. This was all so crazy...like a dream.....a dream he wasn't ready to wake
up from yet.
Zoicite appeared just behind Rei, much less composed than his fellow saints. "I'd like to know
the same thing."
Minako turned to look at Kunzite and her eyes narrowed slightly. "You're name isn't Malachite is
it?"
Kunzite's smile faded into a look of guilt. "Mina-chan...I didn't think it was right...to tell
you...I'm sorry.." he bowed his head. Zoicite quietly and silently appeared at his side and took
his hand. It wasn't that he didn't trust his Kunzite....just felt safer this way. Besides, he was
in the doghouse too, and was going to need all the support he could get....
Rei raised an eyebrow at the two of them as she saw them hold one another's hands. "Wait a
second....why are you holding hands?"
A familiar voice reached their ears from behind them. "Let's just say that in Heaven, love is
blind." Nephrite's half-smile became visible to the crowd of people.
Jadeite scowled. "Are you kidding? Those two are gayer than Gap employees!"
Minako blinked once, before she dropped the bags she had been carrying and they fell to the
floor, her hand flying to cover her gasping mouth.
Ami froze in place, her eyes fixated on her ex-boyfriend Zoicite and she looked down at their
joined hands in utter shock.
"Wait a minute...you two are GAY?" Rei asked, a smile tickling the edges of her lips.
Zoicite bit his lip and squeezed the other's hand. It had to happen sooner or later....
Makoto looked at Rei anxiously, afraid of what she thought the girl was going to do, and sure
enough...she did.
Nephrite took his place next to Makoto and folded his arms. "Rei, don't you dare..."
"So let me get this straight..." She cracked up. "You had sex with MINAKO and then you TURNED
GAY?!"
Jadeite snorted and clutched Rei's arm to steady himself before receiving a death glare from
Zoicite, and he covered his mouth, but his sides still shook with laughter. He had been waiting
for this day for years....
Minako turned to Rei, her face burning bright red as she glared at the raven-haired psychic.
"Rei!"
"No, this is priceless!!! Oh, how the mighty have fallen." She felt her sides splitting as her
laughter became even louder. "She falls from sex goddess straight down to COLD FISH!"
Kunzite bristled, but his companion patted his arm in an effort to prevent this conflict from
going anywhere...however, Rei and her little circus monkey Jadeite had other ideas.
Jadeite suddenly brightened with a good idea and ran off to one of the vendor stands to buy some
popcorn. This would be some show.
Zoicite glared. "Okay, Rei, I think you've had your fun now..."
Rei looked at him funny. "I am nowhere near through having my fun Zoicite." She turned back to
Minako who was so red with anger that she could have been a tomato. "I guess you just weren't
able to satisfy him Minako...imagine...he had to turn to a man!"
"That's no offense to you of course, I'm sure," Makoto said to Ami who had been standing their
completely dumbfounded throughout the whole thing.
"Stop it, Rei.." Kunzite said threatening.
Nephrite covered his face with one hand and shook his head. This was going to get ugly.
"Oh yeah, no offense to you at all Ami. I mean, it's not like you had much to give in the first
place-" Rei would have finished that statement all the way, but was unable to as she was pounced
on immediately by the blue-haired bookworm.
Minako blinked, surprised that Ami had attacked Rei before her, before jumping into the fight as
well. "DIE, BITCH!"
Zoicite put a hand to Kunzite's chest to prevent him from stepping into the fight. He shook his
head. "It's a battle royale. There's no stopping them now...JADEITE, I KNOW YOU ARE NOT SELLING
TICKETS!"
Jadeite looked up and grinned cheekily. "Hey, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do...."
Kunzite gasped. "Jadeite, you can't just sell tickets at a cat fight between our old
girlfriends!"
Jadeite thought to himself. "You're right...Nephrite, take bets for me!" He winced as he saw Rei
take a hit. "Hey, baby, I'm rooting for ya! Next!"
Surprisingly, Rei was holding up pretty well against the onslaught of the two girls and was
landing as many hits as she was taking.
Makoto sweatdropped and she turned to look at the guys. "So, how's it been going?"
Guys from around the food court, even the vendors, immediately been crowding around the girls, and buying tickets from the guys. "I hope something falls out..."
Kunzite sighed, seeing that there was nothing he could do- for either of the two crazed lunatics.
Two minutes ago they had all been hugging and crying, and now....now....ooh...Mina was down, but
not out! Yeah! He cheered silently.
"Come on, rip her shirt off!"
"Ow, that one hurt."
"That can't be legal."
"Look at those muscles, I bet they're great in bed..."
Zoicite sweatdropped. "Oh, things have been better..." his eyes traveled to the cheering crowd.
Makoto raised an eyebrow as one of the guys actually asked if he could pay to take the three
girls home. "Earth is such an interesting place, I had almost forgotten the vulgarity of men..."
"MEN?! Do you HEAR what Rei is saying?"
"Mother fucker! I-"
She laughed at that one. "She never was the innocent type. Maybe that's why she dated you,
Jadeite." she turned to look at him, curiously. "Was there ever any emotion in your relationship,
or was it just amazing sex?"
The now enterprising blonde was holding a yen in his mouth. He paused to look up for a moment.
"Oh, probably a bit of both. She's a wildcat, but...." he smiled as Rei socked Ami in the gut.
"We're just so perfect for each other, don't you think?"
Ami was actually doing well in the fight, surprising a bunch of people with her hard punches as
everyone had expected her to lose immediately. She knew she was slowing though, and she tried to
communicate with Minako on how to team up on Rei, but the noise from the crowd blocked out her
voice.
"So, you're still interested in her?" Makoto asked, pulling her hair out of its pony tail and
letting it fall around her in soft waves, hoping to catch Nephrite's eye.
Jadeite shrugged. "Who's NOT interested in Rei?" he grinned madly. "But," he added as an
afterthought, "it's been three years."
"And that means...?" she trailed off watching as the fight ended quickly with Rei the victor. She
was sitting on Ami, was kicking weakly, and holding Mina down with her arms. Both looked to
exhausted to be angry anymore.
Jadeite used the fight as an excuse to ignore the previous question, and he went over to hold
Rei's arm up as victor. The crowd cheered, and all those that had placed bets on the psychic
smiled triumphantly.
Zoicite cleared his throat. "Ahem. So...Makoto...er...." he twisted his hands together nervously
Kunzite shook his head. "Don't."
Zoicite bit his lip. "I was wondering...."
"No."
Zoicite blurted out," What's hell like?"
Makoto turned to Zoicite, her eyes laughing. "It's not nearly as bad as people make it out to be.
Actually, it probably is, but I wouldn't know. I was pampered along with the rest of us..." she
stopped a minute, looking at the ground half-ashamed. "We were Lucifer's mistresses."
Kunzite gasped. Nephrite hit his arm and frowned. "You didn't exactly stay faithful, either,
Kunzite..."
Zoicite blushed furiously, and Kunzite was at a loss for words.
Rei stood up, waving at all her adoring fans, making sure that her shirt rode up a bit while she
did so. There were holes in different parts of her jeans from the fight, but she was still mostly
in tact. "Thank you, thank you!" she blew a kiss.
Makoto shook her head. "It's different in Hell. We didn't have any feelings for him at all, but
sex isn't important there like it is here. It's something that people just do when they meet
eachother. It's odd, they treat it almost like a handshake."
Jadeite popped his head up from the crowd. "God, I'd be the most popular and friendly person
THERE!"
She did a slight half-smile and looked over at Nephrite briefly, an apologetic look on her face.
"When I was there, I wasn't embarrassed by it. My morals were gone I guess, something about being
down there does that to you. Now though, I'm so ashamed of what I've done." she shook her head
and tried to fight back tears.
Nephrite smiled encouragingly and put his hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him, her eyes locking with his and she gasped. She had forgotten how handsome he was and how much she had missed him. "Nephrite..." she choked slightly, wrapping her arms around
him.
Minako stood up, brushing herself off and looked over at Kunzite mournfully. She walked up to him
and looked down at her hands, twisting them nervously. "Did you really turn to him because I
wasn't enough for you?" she whispered softly.
Kunzite held her shoulders and looked her straight in the eye. "Minako! Of course not! How could
you ever- never mind Rei, she says things to feed her ego." He pulled her into a friendly
embrace. "Mina-chan, you were my best friend." Her eyes were still questioning. "I was gay before
I even met you; it had nothing to do with you at all....or Ami, right Zoicite?"
Minako nodded. "I never thought of you as gay, but I always got more of a friend vibe from you.
Friend with benefits, anyway."
Rei turned to look at Jadeite curiously and winked at him, smiling seductively. "So Jadeite,
since you're back in town, are you going to wind up in my bed every other day again?"
Zoicite folded his arms. "You know, Jadeite, I'm starting to wonder how you ever got into
heaven."
"That's something I've always wondered about.." Rei said teasingly.
Jadeite shrugged and sauntered over towards Rei. "Stranger things have happened, you know," he
said slyly.
Zoicite's ears perked up at Kunzite's comment, and he scanned the crowd for Ami's figure. When he
spotted her, he ran over to her and helped her off the ground. "Ami?" he said, a little
frightened.
Ami's eyes opened slowly, her vision a little hazy as he came into focus. She knew it was him
before she saw his face though, she would always know. "I'm okay." she smiled weakly, standing
up. "It was you the other day, wasn't it?"
Kunzite let his arms fall to his sides. "I'm sorry for not telling you eariler..."
Minako shook her head. "It's okay. I thought it was you. At first I was scared to death because I
thought I was seeing a ghost."
Rei looked up at him through her lashes, looking more exotic as she did so than usual. Her face
was slightly flushed from the fight, and her hair tousled. She pushed herself up against him and
wrapped her arms around his neck. "Miss me, baby?"
Jadeite slid his arms around her waist and grinned. "Of course, my little demon. And what sorts
of trouble have you been causing all this time?"
"Sadly, all I've been allowed to do is give people real psychic readings. It actually scares them
beyond belief." she smiled evilly. "Who knew the truth could be so painful? And yourself?"
Jadeite thought for a moment. "Earth is all right. These people cheap, though. I jumped into a
lake the other day to retrieve this priceless emerald pendant the other day, and they gave me a
coupon for a free rental of "Corky Romano". Can you believe that?"
Zoicite nodded weakly. "I- I'm sorry, Ami, I didn't realize it was you until you gave me your
number, and by then you were gone. I- I was so angry, too...angry at the fates. I thought it was
some cruel joke being played on me, that you weren't real..."
"It's okay, seriously. I wasn't really expecting you to call either. I was mad at myself for
giving you the number just because you looked like...well you. But, now I'm glad I did give it to
you. I miss having someone to talk to where I don't have to dumb down my words..."
Nephrite held Makoto as she quietly sobbed into his chest, patting her back in comfort. "It's
been a long three years, hasn't it?" he asked sadly.
She nodded and went silent a minute contemplating something, not quite sure how to express it.
"Why are you here?"
Everyone froze at Makoto's last question. At last, the truth would, as Rei put it, be revealed.
The four saints exchanged questioning glances. Could they tell them?
The silence was unnerving. "Uh..W-Why are uyou/u guys here?" Jadeite asked.
Rei rested her head on Jadeite's chest as she sighed and turned to look at everyone. "You see,
Lucifer and his mistress, Serenity, had this fallout or something. So he sent her to Earth on
this quest to sort of give them time apart from one another. We were sent to watch her and make
sure she doesn't hurt herself and stuff."
"REI!" the girls screeched, glaring at the psychic.
Zoicite raised an eyebrow. He whispered to Nephrite "I think there's more to this than that..."
"What kind of quest did he send her on?" Kunzite asked curiously.
"Probably similar to the one He sent him on," Jadeite mused.
Nephrite smacked his arm. "Shhh!" he hissed.
"Just some stupid thing about killing a guardian angel." Rei said nonchalantly returning her
attention to Jadeite.
Makoto groaned at Rei's openness about their mission. "Well, now that you know, how about telling
us what your person is here for. I know you have one, it's obvious."
Each of the guardian's mouths dropped open, including Jadeite's. For a moment, they were
speechless, and none of them dared to move. Zoiste looked at Kunzite, silently asking what they
should do.
The girls looked at each other somberly, not sure whether to be happy or sad. The irony of the
situation was killing them. Why did they have to run into them? But then again, why wouldn't they
want too?
Ami looked at everyone saying the question that was one everyone's mind, "Where are we now?"
"Heaven," Jadeite offered.
"Hell." Rei said at the same time as Jadeite.
Nephrite shrugged. "Or somewhere in between?"