This is the very slightly edited version of Fear of Falling, the pseudo- sequel of Coming Home. It is HIGHLY recommended that you read Coming Home before you read this. It will make more sense that way. There are barely any changes, and none major, so if you have already read this story, it isn't that different. Despite this, please enjoy the story!!
Nino: SweetMisery430 does not own Fire Emblem or any trademarked products.Fear of FallingEver since Fiora left, things have not been quite the same around here. She isn't here to wake us up in the morning if we sleep in, or comfort us if we have a bad day. She isn't here to make pancakes on Sunday morning or pack us lunches every day. That's because she went on an exchange student program to England.
I used to write to her almost every week, but then I got bogged down in homework and other things. I'm sure Fiora would understand. She always thought doing well in school was important. But I still felt guilty. I always wondered if she thought I'd forgotten her. Then again, she never wrote to me either. She must be busy as well.
Right now it's just me and my other sister, Farina. She's older than I am, and has a lust for money and fame. She's also very outgoing, and is constantly thinking up excuses to hold parties. She is the complete opposite of me in every way.
Farina is never here because she's always out, working her new job as a lawyer's secretary, or hanging out with her latest boyfriend, a punk named Dart. I am surprised that Dart has lasted this long (about a year and a half), although they do have an on again, off again relationship. Maybe Farina's really serious this time.
Dart is my friend Rebecca's older brother, but I've only seen him and never spoken to him. I am afraid of most men. I don't know why. It has only just recently started to change. Now I have a new fear – that Fiora will discover what happened when she returns today. But enough about my sisters. This story is about me, and my fear of falling in love.
My fear of the male sex began in my school days. In pre-school, I remember giving up my spot in the sandbox when a boy named Heath came and tried to build a sand castle with me. In 3rd grade, I did the same thing with a swing on the school playground after a different boy named Matthew sat next to me (swings were in high demand at the time, but there were barely any of them on the playground). In 6th grade, when I had to do a presentation in one of my classes, I ended up in a group of three boys, including Matthew and two other boys named Guy and Raven. I immediately asked to switch into an all-girl group after Raven glared evilly at me for spilling the tiniest spot of glue on our poster.
It was worse in high school because that was when everyone started dating, even my best friend Lyn. She had a steady boyfriend named Rath who hung out with us for our entire freshman year. I tried to hang out with other friends for a while, but Lyn thought I was avoiding her, rather than Rath. I was relieved when they broke up when we were sophomores.
I had other friends, named Nino, Rebecca, Serra, Priscilla, and Ninian. Then, to my horror, they all betrayed me later in 9th grade. Nino began going after an older guy named Jaffar; Rebecca flirted constantly with lots of boys, including Lowen, Raven, and Wil; Serra stalked a guy named Erk; Priscilla started dating Heath (from the sandbox); and Ninian was seen hanging around with a junior named Eliwood.
The funny thing was, after Ninian gave up on Eliwood a few months later, he started dating my sister Fiora. And then he dumped her years later so he could get back together with Ninian. But that's another story.
It just got worse from there. Every time a school dance came up (which was a ridiculous five or six times a year) a guy would ask me to go. I figured Lyn put them up to it because she thought I'd feel bad without a date. No one wanted to date the shy, quiet, introverted Florina. The truth was, I wasn't shy, quiet, or introverted around female friends. Only around guys.
In sophomore year, Lyn forced Rebecca's friend Wil to ask me to the Sophomore Semi-Formal. Wil only did it because Rebecca (his first date choice) was already going to the dance with Raven. Unfortunately, he made a big show of asking me to go with him in the cafeteria. I almost had a nervous breakdown, and went running to the bathroom crying. Wil stopped trying after that, and so did all of the other guys. I ended up staying home instead of going to the dance. I haven't attended a school dance since.
And so it went for the remaining years of high school. I was practically considered abnormal for not being interested in boys, and, in fact, scared of them. People who didn't know me and saw me with my friends thought I was a perfectly normal teenager, but they didn't know about my other side.
Near the end of my last year of high school, though, things began to change. We had to fill out student surveys, voting for Best Couple, Smartest, Best Looking, etc. The results would be displayed in the yearbook. A male and female would win for each section.
Surprise, surprise, I was voted shyest in the female category. I had to get my picture taken so it would be in the yearbook. I was dreading it more than anything in the whole world. I like taking pictures, but I am not in the least photogenic.
Us winners had to report to the gym after school for the photo-taking. I went in with Nino, who had been voted smartest with Erk, and Lyn, who had won the category Most Athletic (she played soccer and lacrosse), but with some guy that she knew, but I didn't know.
Lyn spotted her co-winner in the back of the line and insisted that we join him. She also decided she had to jump on him and scare the heck out of him.
"BOO!!" cried Lyn loudly, and half of the people in the room looked at her weirdly. Lyn is the kind of person who can do anything she wants and doesn't care about what people will think about it.
The guy let out a yell and jumped with surprised. Then he turned around, and he did not look happy. "I'm going to kill you for this, Lyn, I swear!"
Lyn was just laughing hysterically to herself. "That...was...great!!!"
He looked like he wanted to pummel her to bits and pieces. But after a moment, he sighed and stopped frowning. "I will get you for this, I really will..."
I backed away instinctively from the guy. He was really tall, broad- shouldered, and imposing. Not to mention that he had dark, almost bluish hair. He could probably squash me if he sat on me. He was obviously the football team's quarterback. I could tell just by his build. Then again, he was wearing his team shirt, which read "Pherae High Football" and said he was number 23 (the number I knew our quarterback was, because he was always scoring touchdowns).
I noticed that the guy was studying me, and I felt my face grow hot. I looked at my feet awkwardly.
"So who's your friend, Lyn?" the guy asked.
Lyn was taking deep breaths to calm down. "Oh, that's Florina. Don't be offended if she won't talk to you. She does that to all guys."
He raised his eyebrows at me. "Yeah, I bet she won for shyest, didn't she?"
Lyn shrugged. "It doesn't take a genius to figure that out."
"Oh, hey, I see Jaffar!" cried Nino all of the sudden. "I'm gonna go say hi!"
She ran off, leaving me alone with Lyn and The Guy. Some friend. Why would Jaffar be here anyways? What did he win? 'The '...' Award?' (Actually, I found out later that he had been the male winner for shyest. Must have had to do with the fact that he barely ever spoke...)
"So..." The Guy said, "what are you guys doing this summer?"
"I'm going to go to sleep in!" Lyn cried excitedly. "Oh yeah, and a bunch of us are going to the beach for a while with Nino's family, I think during August. Her parents are letting us use their beach house. You should come! We're inviting a bunch of guys down for one weekend so we can party or whatever."
My mouth dropped open. Yeah, I'd known about Nino's beach thing. I was invited, and I was going. But a bunch of guys coming down for one weekend to 'hang out'? This did not sound good at all...Especially since Lyn was inviting The Guy.
Lyn did not notice my sudden distress. "So do you think you can come? Or do you have plans?"
"I don't know...I'll have to check," The Guy answered. "I was gonna get a job or something. Hey, are you going, Florina?"
I felt the word "Yes" rise up in my throat and get stuck there. "Um, I, uh, see, that is...well, yes, I am, actually, but –"
"Oh, well that's cool!" said The Guy. "You know, I think I can come...Lyn, I'll call you tonight, okay?"
Lyn shrugged. "Sure. It's gonna be fun. We'll have a girls versus boys volleyball tournament, and we will kick your sorry little butts!"
The Guy snorted. "In your dreams."
"Most Athletic!" called the one of the people taking pictures.
"Well, that's us, Hector," said Lyn. "Let's go."
So The Guy actually had a name, and it was Hector. Maybe I was better off forgetting his name so I didn't develop a personal fear of him.
"Okay," said The Guy aka Hector. Surprisingly, he turned to me and waved. "See you around, Florina!"
I was left to stare.
I was glad to be graduating. I was planning to head off to a girls-only college (ANY girls-only college) as soon as possible. I would miss my friends, but I figured I'd just e-mail them or whatever. The majority of them had abandoned me for guys at this point.
Ninian had gotten back together with Eliwood after he had broken up with Fiora in July. This, I discovered, was the real reason he had broken up with her (not his sorry excuse of 'going off to college'). I decided not to tell Fiora the truth, because I thought it would hurt her feelings.
Serra had finally become an item with a reluctant Erk, so I barely saw her. We were never best friends, but I still missed her sometimes.
Priscilla had grown apart from us over the years, and began to hang out more with Heath's friends. I was on good terms with her, but we rarely spoke to one another.
Rebecca had finally gotten over her flirting stage, and was now the official girlfriend of Wil. She didn't hang out with us and Wil at the same time because she knew Wil and I were...not on the best of terms. This meant that we saw Rebecca a lot less than we used to.
I was still really good friends with Nino, despite her on-and-off relationship with the mysterious Jaffar. And Lyn was still my best friend, although she was incredibly popular. She always got asked out and invited to parties and stuff. However, she was single, and had been since her breakup with Rath several years ago.
Despite all of this, however, almost all of these people were down at the beach one particular weekend. In other words, the Weekend of the Co-Ed Party of Doom.
I had almost forgotten about the party because I had such a good time hanging out with Nino, Lyn, and the others. There was not a single boy in sight, and there were lots of fun things to do – sunbathe, swim in the ocean, play volleyball, make weird stuff out of sand, explore the boardwalk. When I remembered about the WCEPD (Weekend of the Co-Ed Party of Doom), I almost considered going home.
I called Fiora, but when she came on the line, she convinced me to stay without even knowing what was going on.
"Hey Florina!" she said. "Are you alright over there? You're just a bit homesick, right? I hope you don't want to come home...Farina and I are both really busy, and you might be all alone every day...especially since all of your friends will still be having fun at the beach without you..."
With those words, I knew I had to stay. I could lock myself in my room for the WCEPD.
WCEPD arrived sooner than it should have. I was completely unprepared. The first male to arrive was Eliwood, former boyfriend of Fiora. This was a Bad Sign, because hadn't he JUST broken up with Fiora? I mean, really...Not to mention that he and Ninian were all over each other. I felt nauseous, like I had to throw up.
Soon, countless others arrived. There was Wil, Jaffar, Erk, Heath, Raven, Matthew, Guy, and even Rath (who invited him? I wondered). And then...The Guy arrived... I mean, Hector.
It was kind of embarrassing what happened when he arrived. I was going to the kitchen of the beach house to get a snack. I had been holed up in my room, hiding from all of the males who had recently arrived. I was starving, and I could not ignore my stomach any longer. I promised myself I would just grab an apple and be off in less than a minute.
I was running to the kitchen at top speed, and there was not a guy in sight. I was so concentrated on running that I ran straight into a hard brick wall and fell to the floor.
Well, actually, it wasn't a wall. It was Hector.
"Oh, hey, Florina!" he said. "Are you okay? Why are you running around here like a maniac?"
I felt my breath rate speed up by about a million. I had come into male contact! This was not good at all! And now, I was lying on the ground at Hector's feet, unable to do or say anything! He could totally take advantage of me if he wanted to.
"I'll help you up," Hector said, offering me his hand.
"N-no!" I cried, regaining my composure and struggling to my feet. "P- please don't touch me!!"
"Wow," Hector commented, shaking his head, "Lyn told me you were afraid of men, but I wasn't expecting THIS..."
"I-I h-have to...to go!" I cried, and ran off again. I carefully avoided any obstacles. I grabbed a snack and then went back to my room. I vowed that I would emerge only at night, while the others slept. As you can imagine, my plan didn't quite work.
Lyn and Nino forced me out on the beach at lunchtime. I was so hungry I gave in, knowing there was no other food around the beach house. At the beach, I wore not only my one-piece bathing suit, but also a t-shirt over that. I also wore sunglasses and a hat covering my hair. If the boys couldn't see me, they couldn't like me. Especially Hector.
I spent my time sitting under the beach umbrella and contemplating why, exactly, Hector was so nice to me. The only reason I could come up with was that he thought I was 'pretty'. I had never thought of myself as pretty, but who knows...maybe there are some weird people out there who do.
The others played a girls vs. boys game of volleyball. They looked like they were having tons of fun, but I couldn't force myself to join in. The girls, as Lyn promised, kicked the boys' "sorry little buts". Then everyone went swimming in the ocean, but I saw that the boys were surfing and stuff, so I claimed there were too many jelly fish around and stayed on dry land. Everyone was so occupied that they didn't notice my choice to stay out of the water.
That night, everyone wanted to go to this big seafood restaurant. At first I refused to go, but Nino reminded me that there was absolutely no other food in the beach house. Therefore, I was forced to go along.
The world must have been against me, because I ended up sitting across from Hector. I was in between Lyn and Nino, but they were both having (one- sided) conversations with Rath and Jaffar.
"Hey, Florina," he said. "Sorry about earlier..."
I nodded dumbly and didn't say a word.
"From now on, you should WALK in the hallways," he continued with a smile. "But, man, you were going so fast...you could join a track team or whatever... You might be really good."
I shook my head and shuddered. "N-no way..."
"Wow, you actually responded to something I said!" Hector looked impressed. "Maybe we are getting somewhere..."
Getting somewhere...from where? I was incredibly confused.
"Why are you so shy, anyways?" he asked. "Did you have a traumatic past experience or something?"
"N-no..." I said in a small voice. "I...I don't know why I'm...shy."
Why was I shy? I had never really thought about it. What, exactly, was I afraid of? I had had a relatively normal childhood. I should have grown up normal.
"That's weird," muttered Hector. "Oh well...I guess I'll just have to make you un-shy!"
I felt the shrimp I had just eaten jumping around in my stomach. Well, not literally, but you know what I mean.
"H-how are y-you going to...to do that?" I asked.
He shrugged. "I don't know yet...but I'll do it somehow."
On Saturday, we went to the beach again. I decided to stay under the beach umbrella again, only this time I was equipped with several of Serra's celebrity and fashion magazines. Well, it was better than nothing.
This time, however, was different. Hector opted to sit with me under the beach umbrella instead of riding waves in the ocean. When he sat down in the beach chair next to me, I just stared at him with shocked, wide eyes.
"Hi, Florina!" he greeted me. I continued to stare. "So, how are you?" Shocked stare. "Oh, really? I'm good, too."
"P-please get a-away from me..." I whimpered, and tried to move my beach chair over...without much success. The sand must have been uneven under the beach blanket or something, because my chair flipped over sideways and I fell over screaming.
And Hector was laughing at me, of all things. Laughing! I was humiliated. Why couldn't he just go away already??
"Hey, are you ok?" he asked.
This time, he grabbed my hand and helped me up without even asking. As soon as I was on my own two feet, I pulled my hand away and began rubbing it as if it were infested with some dirty disease.
"D-don't touch me!" I cried. I felt tears prick at the corner of my eyes. His smile disappeared.
"Hey, I was just trying to help!" he said defensively. "Man, I just don't get you girls at all...Especially you, Florina..."
"Th-then why can't you j-just...stay away from me?" I cried.
"See, and now you're talking loudly!" Hector said. "You are one strange person, lemme tell you..."
I didn't say anything, just turned away and tried to dry my eyes. Lyn chose this moment to come over.
"Hector, are you picking on Florina?" she asked angrily. "Leave her alone! I told you she was afraid of men, but you didn't listen..."
Hector sighed. "Maybe you're right...I should leave her alone. Bye, Florina. Sorry about...the chair thing."
And I was left to stand alone.
When I holed up in my room again, no one came after me. Lyn must have told them I needed my space, so they gave it to me. The others went mini- golfing that night, but I stayed home and watched cable TV.
As I laid in bed that night, I began to think about what Hector had said the day before. He had said we were finally getting somewhere. And I had thought, from where? But now I knew exactly where I was – I was nowhere. And I wasn't going anywhere, ever, despite what Hector had said. My shyness was something too great to overcome. It would keep me from ever accomplishing anything in my life. For once in my life, I wished I wasn't so shy.
Sunday was the boys' last day at the beach. I thought I would be relieved, but I wasn't. I felt a strange mix of emotions that I couldn't even identify. I still had a whole day to get through, so I pushed those feelings aside for now.
I was shocked when I realized Hector was avoiding me. It felt a little strange. Oh well. This had to be a good thing. Now he couldn't make fun of me anymore. I shook off my bad feelings.
Yet another day was spent at the beach. I went without arguing this time, and went wading with Nino. I talked to some of my friends that I hadn't seen in a while, like Priscilla and Serra. I made a sand castle with Rebecca. Lyn taught me how to serve a volley ball (because I sucked at it). It wasn't so bad, once I forgot about Hector.
That night, the others decided to go to the carnival (which was more like a mini amusement park) on the boardwalk. I didn't especially want to go, since I wasn't a lover of rides, but I was bored of being holed up in the house, and there was the food factor. I didn't understand why we couldn't just go grocery shopping for once...
The first thing we did on the boardwalk was order several pizzas for dinner at a pizza parlor. I made sure to sit completely surrounded by girls. I couldn't help but notice that Lyn and Hector were sitting next to each other, and talking, and laughing.
I made a shocking discovery. He had never been after me! He was after Lyn! Lyn, who was pretty, popular, and single. Lyn, who wasn't shy in the least. Lyn, who would never go out with anyone who wasn't nice to her best friend, Florina.
Then I made another shocking discovery. I was jealous of them. Why was I jealous? I had never liked Hector! I still didn't! I had wanted him to leave me alone. I should be happy he really likes Lyn.
I was so confused that I didn't talk to anyone for the remainder of the meal. I stared at my lap, deep in thought. What was wrong with me? Why was I feeling like this? I had to stop...
Soon, we were on our way towards the rides. I prepared to be ditched once everyone ran for the roller coasters. I was surprised when Hector came up beside me.
"Are you ok?" he asked.
"I-I'm fine," I stuttered. Why was he talking to me?
"Are you sure?" he continued. "Because you weren't eating at dinner..."
He was watching me at dinner? Why would he do that?
"N-no, I'm...f-fine," I repeated.
"Listen up!!" yelled Lyn, standing on a bench. "Who wants to hit the roller coasters?"
Everyone except Hector and I raised their hands.
"Okay!" called Lyn. "Anyone else can do whatever they want...meet at the front in two hours!"
Two hours!! Alone with Hector!! I could not handle this. The others began to leave.
"Lyn!" I called. "W-wait!"
But she didn't hear me.
"So...what do you want to go on?" he asked me, glancing at the various rides and attractions.
I was on the verge of tears again because I was alone with a man for the first time in my life. No, I thought, I will not cry this time. I will be strong.
"How about...haunted house?"
"NO!" I cried. I hated haunted houses.
"There you go with that loud-soft thing again..." muttered Hector. "Okay, the log flume?"
I shook my head.
"Fun house?"
Nope.
"Bumper cars?"
No way.
"Ferris wheel?"
I had no other choice. There were no other mild rides, save for the little kid rides. I sighed.
"Ok, we'll go on the Ferris wheel!" Hector said. "I hope you aren't afraid of heights..."
"I...I'm not," I said quietly. That was the one thing I wasn't afraid of.
We got in line. I didn't say anything. Neither did he. I looked at the roller coasters to see if I could spot my friends, but I didn't see them. Then it was our turn to get on the ride.
When I sat down, I slid as far away from Hector as it was humanely possible to do in a Ferris wheel seat. As we rose up in the air, I looked down on the boardwalk. It had just gotten dark, and all of the lights on the rides were coming on. It was actually very pretty to look at.
"Florina," sighed Hector, "why do you make it so hard for me?"
I looked at him confusedly. "W-what are you talking about?"
He paused for a moment, and then spoke. "Why do you make it so hard for me to get you to like me?"
I stared at him, dumbfounded. "B-but I th-thought that...that you didn't like me!"
He laughed softly. "Why would you think that?"
"I-I thought..." I began, "that...y-you liked Lyn."
"You thought I liked Lyn!" he cried. "No way! I mean, seriously...you can tell she wants to get back together with Rath. Besides, I've known her my whole life. I can't LIKE her. It's...it's not even possible!"
"Oh," I said quietly. I felt like a fool for being wrong. There was silence for a moment.
"So answer my question," he said. "Why do you make it so hard?"
"I don't make it hard at all!" I cried all of the sudden. I could not keep myself from this outburst. "N-no boys ever like me, that's all...th-they want a loud, outgoing girlfriend, like Lyn...not s-some...quiet, shy, introverted girl, like me. I...I can't help the way I am...I don't want some – some guy to try and change me. Because I'll never be the loud, outgoing girl he wants."
I had never known I thought that until I said it aloud.
"I would never try and change you, Florina," Hector said. "I like you the way you are now. I don't care if you're quiet. Who wants a loud girlfriend anyways? I know I'd just end up arguing with her all of the time..."
My mouth fell open.
"Will you stop being afraid of me now?" he asked. "Now that you know what I think?"
I thought about it for a moment. Was I really ready to do this? "I...I'll think about."
He smiled. "Good."
Hector took my hand. This time, I didn't pull away.
The End
It is done! If you were wondering, this story takes place during Florina's week at the beach in Coming Home, except for the beginning of the story. That takes place right before Florina is about the reunite with Fiora, which happens in Coming Home.
Nino: I bet all of the readers are either don't care or are confused beyond their wits.
Yeah, well, if they want a full-blown explanation from me, they can always ask for one! Anyways, please review!