Author's Note: Hey loyal fans! I am sooo sorry that I haven't updated in
FOREVER!!! I'm absolutely shocked that I'm still getting reviews for the
last chapter, especially after leaving you all hanging for so long. If
anyone reading this is in school they know what that is like...thank Godric
for summer vacation. Thanks for reading and enjoy...and please send more of
those amazing reviews!
The door creaked open and Lily was heard from the darkened foyer snipping at James for some unknown reason and then the voices fell silent.
"Oh my lord, James!" Lily gasped and James quickly pulled out his wand.
"Stay behind me, it might be Him..." James' voice was tight and the glass crackled under their dress shoes as they walked into the lighted living room. "Remus? What happened? Is everything all right?" James took in the scene of carpet stains, pizza boxes, a small dish laden with peas, a nervous looking werewolf, and...his best friend holding a sleeping Harry...please say he is sleeping.
"Hey ahem did you have a good time?" Remus tried to break the awkward silence.
"No. What happened is my baby alright?" Lily was so stunned from seeing her usually immaculate home in shambles that her emotions were forgotten.
"Oh, yeah! He's fine, the bugger," Sirius responded as he got up from the couch. "We just had a hell of a time catching him, and then he got himself a bit banged up in the foyer, but we fixed him didn't we Moony...Moony?"
Remus, however, was not looking at Sirius. He and James were eyeing a storming Lily. A tea kettle on the stove let out a whistle that seemed highly appropriate at the moment, but the steam appeared to be coming out of Lilly's ears...not the kitchen. "THAT MESS IN THE FRONT OF MY HOUSE HURT HARRY! YOU—YOU!" It was remarkable how much Lily resembled a Chinese Fireball when she was angry. "OUT ALL OF YOU!!!! AND GIVE ME MY BABY!!" Lily roared pointing at the door, which exploded off the hinges, and she shrieked in exasperation. Harry was now awake (and probably everyone else on the street) and crying hysterically not wanting to leave his godfather. Sirius looked at her accusingly.
"You made him cry!"
"Just let her have the baby Padfoot. If you value your life give her the child!" James was a mess and he simply led the two shocked men out the door muttering repairing charms behind him. The door slammed when six feet hit the threshold and Lily locked the door cursing.
"Lilly, dear! You accidentally locked me out."
"Oh no she didn't," muttered Remus, but James was too distracted to notice.
James let out a groan as gave up on the door knob, "You know, I think this is the reason Lilly and I don't go out much anymore." The three men glanced back through the window and saw Harry being smothered by his soup covered mother.
"That damned kid gets the best of everything," Sirius said dejectedly as he sat on the front stoop.
"As my son should," James sat down next to him, took off his glasses and began rubbing his hands through his hair, which already stuck up like Aunt Bertha's shrubs. Remus sighed heavily and glanced up at the silvery moon wincing.
They sat there for the better part of an hour before they heard footprints on the path. A woman in a pretty evening gown walked by, but looked back when she saw the three gentlemen on a front stoop staring at her. One of them rose and strutted over.
"Good evening my lady," Sirius bowed and kissed her hand in a wooing fashion, "all alone on this dark night? Well, I shall have you know I am Sirius Black, kisser of virgin lips, and savior of damsels in distress!"
"Well, when I see one I will let you know, handsome," she was, however, eyeing Remus, whose mouth was slightly agape in thought.
"Well, you know..." Sirius was becoming desperate, "I am ADD," he thought that would get her good.
James gave Remus an odd look, while Remus just shook his head disdainfully. Sirius looked back at his friends to see Remus trying to stifle laughter, and James looking slightly confused.
"Oh...really? I am stunned. I mean, you don't see that come up in older men usually...will all your children be the same way?" the woman looked sympathetic, though Sirius couldn't possibly imagine why.
"Oh, yes...isn't it wonderful? Like your dress...glorious," Sirius took a step closer to the woman who backed away nervously. Remus meanwhile could no longer contain his mirth. James simply stared dumbfounded at Sirius' lack of social skills. It was possibly the worst pick-up attempt James had ever seen.
"Well I really must be off," the woman was now staring anywhere but at the ADD-man.
"Well, um...can I look you up sometime?"
"NO! Um...I mean, no thank you," she put her pinky to her mouth and her thumb to her ear in the imitation of a telephone and motioned for Remus to call her, and walked briskly away.
"Well Remus, the ADD thing didn't work." Remus grinned back at Sirius as if all the trouble he went through that evening had been worth it. Sirius narrowed his eyes, "If somebody like me can't pick up a woman, clearly you have no chance." "Sure, Padfoot," Remus said as he stuffed a piece of paper with something that looked suspiciously like a phone number on it. "I mean, she even gave me a weird peace-sign thing before she strutted off," Sirius resumed his place on the stoop.
"How odd," Remus feigned innocence. "Well, women her age are not intoxicated dormitory girls," Remus chuckled as he and James rolled their eyes at each other.
"It was worth a try. After all, I am a free man unlike James here, who is forever in the bondage of a fiery princess of darkness and her evil minion, the babe of—" "I HEARD THAT SIRIUS BLACK! Just you see if you ever come inside again!"
"How did she do that?" Sirius whispered wide-eyed in shock.
"Magic," James mused after a moment. "Just like this..." James sprang up and knocked on the door again.
"You already tried to charm it open, James. You know how good Lilly is," Remus said knowingly.
"Go away!" Lilly snapped back. "But Lily I still have your present in my pocket and...oh, darling! I am so sorry!" the slave fell to his knees in mock agony. "My life is not complete without you...you are a flower to me, but I am the sun, who is missing the flower in the dead of winter out here. I love you Lillian Potter...my red-haired Empress of Darkness..." Lily opened the door with Harry in her arms smiling.
"Oh, come in Honey! I'm sorry," she offered him a hand which he took and kissed.
"My angel of sexiness," he rose and took her in his arms with Harry in the middle yawning at his dad's usual trick, "my—"
"Alright! Don't over do it," Lily said placing a warning finger on his lips. He licked her fingers slowly and she squeaked, "James!" Lilly was giggling uncontrollably as she passed Harry to Remus , leaving her arms available to wrap around James' neck. They drew into a passionate kiss. James then swept her off her feet and bolted up the stairs yelling, "FAINT HEART NEVER WON FAIR LADY!"
"Excuse me, Mr. Potter...I am not a stork! Ah, well..." Remus gave up and went inside slumping on the couch. Sirius followed suit shutting the door behind him.
"You would think he could have done that an hour ago," complained Sirius.
"I really need some sleep Padfoot. I think I'll turn in—here," without another word Remus plopped Harry in his godfather's arms and dissaparated home.
"Hey wait! This is not my job! I will not be subjected to this! Oh, well..." Sirius gave up and lay down with Harry on the ever-familiar couch. "Well, looks like it's you and me kiddo," Sirius kissed the already dozing baby soundly on the top of the head and closed his eyes. If this is the baggage that comes with women...I don't want to shop anymore...
Harry gurgled contentedly, and they both fell asleep to dream of over- protective relatives and pizza.
YAY! And that concludes our story. Hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for being loyal fans...who knows what we will come up with next? DUN DUN DUN...
The door creaked open and Lily was heard from the darkened foyer snipping at James for some unknown reason and then the voices fell silent.
"Oh my lord, James!" Lily gasped and James quickly pulled out his wand.
"Stay behind me, it might be Him..." James' voice was tight and the glass crackled under their dress shoes as they walked into the lighted living room. "Remus? What happened? Is everything all right?" James took in the scene of carpet stains, pizza boxes, a small dish laden with peas, a nervous looking werewolf, and...his best friend holding a sleeping Harry...please say he is sleeping.
"Hey ahem did you have a good time?" Remus tried to break the awkward silence.
"No. What happened is my baby alright?" Lily was so stunned from seeing her usually immaculate home in shambles that her emotions were forgotten.
"Oh, yeah! He's fine, the bugger," Sirius responded as he got up from the couch. "We just had a hell of a time catching him, and then he got himself a bit banged up in the foyer, but we fixed him didn't we Moony...Moony?"
Remus, however, was not looking at Sirius. He and James were eyeing a storming Lily. A tea kettle on the stove let out a whistle that seemed highly appropriate at the moment, but the steam appeared to be coming out of Lilly's ears...not the kitchen. "THAT MESS IN THE FRONT OF MY HOUSE HURT HARRY! YOU—YOU!" It was remarkable how much Lily resembled a Chinese Fireball when she was angry. "OUT ALL OF YOU!!!! AND GIVE ME MY BABY!!" Lily roared pointing at the door, which exploded off the hinges, and she shrieked in exasperation. Harry was now awake (and probably everyone else on the street) and crying hysterically not wanting to leave his godfather. Sirius looked at her accusingly.
"You made him cry!"
"Just let her have the baby Padfoot. If you value your life give her the child!" James was a mess and he simply led the two shocked men out the door muttering repairing charms behind him. The door slammed when six feet hit the threshold and Lily locked the door cursing.
"Lilly, dear! You accidentally locked me out."
"Oh no she didn't," muttered Remus, but James was too distracted to notice.
James let out a groan as gave up on the door knob, "You know, I think this is the reason Lilly and I don't go out much anymore." The three men glanced back through the window and saw Harry being smothered by his soup covered mother.
"That damned kid gets the best of everything," Sirius said dejectedly as he sat on the front stoop.
"As my son should," James sat down next to him, took off his glasses and began rubbing his hands through his hair, which already stuck up like Aunt Bertha's shrubs. Remus sighed heavily and glanced up at the silvery moon wincing.
They sat there for the better part of an hour before they heard footprints on the path. A woman in a pretty evening gown walked by, but looked back when she saw the three gentlemen on a front stoop staring at her. One of them rose and strutted over.
"Good evening my lady," Sirius bowed and kissed her hand in a wooing fashion, "all alone on this dark night? Well, I shall have you know I am Sirius Black, kisser of virgin lips, and savior of damsels in distress!"
"Well, when I see one I will let you know, handsome," she was, however, eyeing Remus, whose mouth was slightly agape in thought.
"Well, you know..." Sirius was becoming desperate, "I am ADD," he thought that would get her good.
James gave Remus an odd look, while Remus just shook his head disdainfully. Sirius looked back at his friends to see Remus trying to stifle laughter, and James looking slightly confused.
"Oh...really? I am stunned. I mean, you don't see that come up in older men usually...will all your children be the same way?" the woman looked sympathetic, though Sirius couldn't possibly imagine why.
"Oh, yes...isn't it wonderful? Like your dress...glorious," Sirius took a step closer to the woman who backed away nervously. Remus meanwhile could no longer contain his mirth. James simply stared dumbfounded at Sirius' lack of social skills. It was possibly the worst pick-up attempt James had ever seen.
"Well I really must be off," the woman was now staring anywhere but at the ADD-man.
"Well, um...can I look you up sometime?"
"NO! Um...I mean, no thank you," she put her pinky to her mouth and her thumb to her ear in the imitation of a telephone and motioned for Remus to call her, and walked briskly away.
"Well Remus, the ADD thing didn't work." Remus grinned back at Sirius as if all the trouble he went through that evening had been worth it. Sirius narrowed his eyes, "If somebody like me can't pick up a woman, clearly you have no chance." "Sure, Padfoot," Remus said as he stuffed a piece of paper with something that looked suspiciously like a phone number on it. "I mean, she even gave me a weird peace-sign thing before she strutted off," Sirius resumed his place on the stoop.
"How odd," Remus feigned innocence. "Well, women her age are not intoxicated dormitory girls," Remus chuckled as he and James rolled their eyes at each other.
"It was worth a try. After all, I am a free man unlike James here, who is forever in the bondage of a fiery princess of darkness and her evil minion, the babe of—" "I HEARD THAT SIRIUS BLACK! Just you see if you ever come inside again!"
"How did she do that?" Sirius whispered wide-eyed in shock.
"Magic," James mused after a moment. "Just like this..." James sprang up and knocked on the door again.
"You already tried to charm it open, James. You know how good Lilly is," Remus said knowingly.
"Go away!" Lilly snapped back. "But Lily I still have your present in my pocket and...oh, darling! I am so sorry!" the slave fell to his knees in mock agony. "My life is not complete without you...you are a flower to me, but I am the sun, who is missing the flower in the dead of winter out here. I love you Lillian Potter...my red-haired Empress of Darkness..." Lily opened the door with Harry in her arms smiling.
"Oh, come in Honey! I'm sorry," she offered him a hand which he took and kissed.
"My angel of sexiness," he rose and took her in his arms with Harry in the middle yawning at his dad's usual trick, "my—"
"Alright! Don't over do it," Lily said placing a warning finger on his lips. He licked her fingers slowly and she squeaked, "James!" Lilly was giggling uncontrollably as she passed Harry to Remus , leaving her arms available to wrap around James' neck. They drew into a passionate kiss. James then swept her off her feet and bolted up the stairs yelling, "FAINT HEART NEVER WON FAIR LADY!"
"Excuse me, Mr. Potter...I am not a stork! Ah, well..." Remus gave up and went inside slumping on the couch. Sirius followed suit shutting the door behind him.
"You would think he could have done that an hour ago," complained Sirius.
"I really need some sleep Padfoot. I think I'll turn in—here," without another word Remus plopped Harry in his godfather's arms and dissaparated home.
"Hey wait! This is not my job! I will not be subjected to this! Oh, well..." Sirius gave up and lay down with Harry on the ever-familiar couch. "Well, looks like it's you and me kiddo," Sirius kissed the already dozing baby soundly on the top of the head and closed his eyes. If this is the baggage that comes with women...I don't want to shop anymore...
Harry gurgled contentedly, and they both fell asleep to dream of over- protective relatives and pizza.
YAY! And that concludes our story. Hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for being loyal fans...who knows what we will come up with next? DUN DUN DUN...