Disclaimer: I do not own anything that has to do with "Pirates of the
Caribbean". Sadly, I do not own Orlando Bloom or Johnny Depp. I do not own
any thing (Legolas) in Lord of the Rings, either. The only person I do own
is Natalie (myself)
********************
Jack and his crew sailed to the Isla de Muerta. He thought that there may be some left over rum from when Barbossa and his zombie crew had been there. Legend said that Barbossa had a whole golden room filled with golden rum in golden kegs with golden spouts that pours into golden goblets which went past the golden teeth of the pirates and down their throat holes which were sometimes slit by golden daggers.
Jack had his crew stay aboard to manage the ship. He had Natalie, Will, and Jessica come with him to inspect the whole island. They got into the little boat and paddled into the little caves. They then paddled all the way to the end of the caves and pulled their boat ashore.
"Arr! I know there's gotta be some rum here!" Jack said.
"What if the legend is false?" Will asked.
"Then I shall travel all the way to Rumchestertonfieldville!" Jack exclaimed.
"Rum-wha?" asked Natalie.
"Rumchestertonfieldville! It's the city where all the rum is made!" Jack said.
"Ooooh! I wanna go there!" Jessica said.
"Poppet, one day we'll sail there and drink all the rum together!" Jack said.
"Yay!" Jessica grinned idiotically.
"Oh puh-leeze!" Natalie said.
"I heard that!" Jessica said.
"You know, I would have never agreed to come along on this quest if I would have known you would be with us," Will said to Jessica.
Jessica turned bright red and started to hyperventilate.
"Are you saying that you wouldn't have come even if I did? I feel so unwanted!" Natalie sat down on the ground. She hugged her knees and started to rock back and forth muttering, "You're contaminating my bubble!"
"I didn't mean that!" Will said.
Natalie ignored him and kept on rocking back and forth. Jessica was getting redder and still hyperventilating.
"I really didn't mean that!" Will said to Natalie.
Natalie rocked back and forth and muttered, "You're contaminating my bubble!" Jessica was still red and hyperventilating.
Will couldn't stand it anymore and threw himself on the ground and started to rock back and forth muttering, "You're contaminating my bubble!"
"Arr! I'm on a quest with a bunch of psychos!" Jack said to himself.
Two hours later...
Jack walked back to where he had left the others. Natalie and Will were both still rocking back and forth on the ground and Jessica was still hyperventilating.
"CRIKEY!" Jack yelled.
"Bubble?" Natalie asked.
"No!"
"What do you want then?" Natalie asked.
"Finally! You speak! I cannot find any rum!"
Jessica stopped hyperventilating and turned around, her face was purple and her eyes were wide. "WHAT...DID...YOU...SAY?!" she nearly screamed.
"Uh...no rum?" Jack squeaked.
"NO RUM?! AHHHHHHHH!" Jessica started to bang her head against the wall of the caves causing the stalactites to fall.
"We must get out of here!" Jack said.
"Nah, really?" Natalie asked sarcastically. She then jumped into the water and started to swim out of the caves. The others followed in pursuit. They left the rowboat there and swam all the way back to the Black Pearl.
When the crew finally pulled them back on board, they were all delirious and foaming at the mouths and muttering about random things.
"Rum bubbles are contamintating me!" Natalie said as she rocked back and forth on the deck.
"I like corn on the cob," said Jessica.
"Ahhhh! The dragon is lifting its tail!" Will screamed.
"Arr! This be my favorite tree!" Jack said pointing at a rope.
"What in all that is sane?" asked the parrot.
The crew took pails of cold water and threw them at the four insane pirates. It took a while for them to stop muttering random sayings, but they finally stopped.
"Arr! We be no finding any rum in them caves!" Jack said to his crew.
"Where are we to go now?" asked a crewmember.
"Rumchestertonfieldville!" Jack said. He took a swig of red wine and went back to the steering wheel of the ship.
Jessica started to breakdance on the deck and Natalie and Will stared at her and both exchanged glances that said, "What the Hell?"
As they drew farther away from the Isla de Muerta, they noticed that a little boat was following them. It soon was only five feet away, when the person threw a rope with a hook on it on the deck. They then climbed up to the deck.
"Who dares to climb on board my ship?!" Jack asked.
"It is I, Elizabeth Swann!" said the hooded figure. She threw off her hood and they could all see her face.
"Elizabitch! I thought we threw you overboard!" Natalie said.
"You forgot one thing...that was the same island that Barbossa stranded Jack and I on that one time. I happened to remember him telling me that the rum ships sometimes go through that island. Fortunately, the ship was there searching for any rum that Jack may have had hidden on the island. There was none since last time I had been there, I'd burned it all for a signal fire. They rescued me and lent me a boat. And now I have come back!"
"Oh no," said Jessica.
"You can say that again," Natalie said.
"Oh--"
"I didn't mean it that way, you retard!" Natalie said.
Jessica pouted and walked over to Jack and started to drink his canteen of red wine.
"What in the blazes are you doing?!" he yelled.
"Mmm! Red wine!" Jessica said.
"You know what? That's my red wine! I did not say you can drink it! Arr, matey! You drinking all my red wine really turns me on!" Jack said.
"What the Hell?" Natalie said.
"I agree...he's scaring me," Will said.
"He's mine!" Jessica screamed at them. "My Precious!"
"Don't go all Gollum on us," Natalie said.
"Keep your paws off of him!"
"I wouldn't even look at him...I've got Will!"
"I was talking to Elizabitch!"
"Oh."
"Hey! Stop calling me that!"
"Let's throw her off the ship!" Will said.
"Okay!" Natalie and Jessica said.
Together, the three pirates pulled Elizabeth by her corset strings and threw her overboard. They watched as she fell and saw a great white shark swallow her whole.
"Well, that'll be the last of her," said Natalie...or will it?
********************
Jack and his crew sailed to the Isla de Muerta. He thought that there may be some left over rum from when Barbossa and his zombie crew had been there. Legend said that Barbossa had a whole golden room filled with golden rum in golden kegs with golden spouts that pours into golden goblets which went past the golden teeth of the pirates and down their throat holes which were sometimes slit by golden daggers.
Jack had his crew stay aboard to manage the ship. He had Natalie, Will, and Jessica come with him to inspect the whole island. They got into the little boat and paddled into the little caves. They then paddled all the way to the end of the caves and pulled their boat ashore.
"Arr! I know there's gotta be some rum here!" Jack said.
"What if the legend is false?" Will asked.
"Then I shall travel all the way to Rumchestertonfieldville!" Jack exclaimed.
"Rum-wha?" asked Natalie.
"Rumchestertonfieldville! It's the city where all the rum is made!" Jack said.
"Ooooh! I wanna go there!" Jessica said.
"Poppet, one day we'll sail there and drink all the rum together!" Jack said.
"Yay!" Jessica grinned idiotically.
"Oh puh-leeze!" Natalie said.
"I heard that!" Jessica said.
"You know, I would have never agreed to come along on this quest if I would have known you would be with us," Will said to Jessica.
Jessica turned bright red and started to hyperventilate.
"Are you saying that you wouldn't have come even if I did? I feel so unwanted!" Natalie sat down on the ground. She hugged her knees and started to rock back and forth muttering, "You're contaminating my bubble!"
"I didn't mean that!" Will said.
Natalie ignored him and kept on rocking back and forth. Jessica was getting redder and still hyperventilating.
"I really didn't mean that!" Will said to Natalie.
Natalie rocked back and forth and muttered, "You're contaminating my bubble!" Jessica was still red and hyperventilating.
Will couldn't stand it anymore and threw himself on the ground and started to rock back and forth muttering, "You're contaminating my bubble!"
"Arr! I'm on a quest with a bunch of psychos!" Jack said to himself.
Two hours later...
Jack walked back to where he had left the others. Natalie and Will were both still rocking back and forth on the ground and Jessica was still hyperventilating.
"CRIKEY!" Jack yelled.
"Bubble?" Natalie asked.
"No!"
"What do you want then?" Natalie asked.
"Finally! You speak! I cannot find any rum!"
Jessica stopped hyperventilating and turned around, her face was purple and her eyes were wide. "WHAT...DID...YOU...SAY?!" she nearly screamed.
"Uh...no rum?" Jack squeaked.
"NO RUM?! AHHHHHHHH!" Jessica started to bang her head against the wall of the caves causing the stalactites to fall.
"We must get out of here!" Jack said.
"Nah, really?" Natalie asked sarcastically. She then jumped into the water and started to swim out of the caves. The others followed in pursuit. They left the rowboat there and swam all the way back to the Black Pearl.
When the crew finally pulled them back on board, they were all delirious and foaming at the mouths and muttering about random things.
"Rum bubbles are contamintating me!" Natalie said as she rocked back and forth on the deck.
"I like corn on the cob," said Jessica.
"Ahhhh! The dragon is lifting its tail!" Will screamed.
"Arr! This be my favorite tree!" Jack said pointing at a rope.
"What in all that is sane?" asked the parrot.
The crew took pails of cold water and threw them at the four insane pirates. It took a while for them to stop muttering random sayings, but they finally stopped.
"Arr! We be no finding any rum in them caves!" Jack said to his crew.
"Where are we to go now?" asked a crewmember.
"Rumchestertonfieldville!" Jack said. He took a swig of red wine and went back to the steering wheel of the ship.
Jessica started to breakdance on the deck and Natalie and Will stared at her and both exchanged glances that said, "What the Hell?"
As they drew farther away from the Isla de Muerta, they noticed that a little boat was following them. It soon was only five feet away, when the person threw a rope with a hook on it on the deck. They then climbed up to the deck.
"Who dares to climb on board my ship?!" Jack asked.
"It is I, Elizabeth Swann!" said the hooded figure. She threw off her hood and they could all see her face.
"Elizabitch! I thought we threw you overboard!" Natalie said.
"You forgot one thing...that was the same island that Barbossa stranded Jack and I on that one time. I happened to remember him telling me that the rum ships sometimes go through that island. Fortunately, the ship was there searching for any rum that Jack may have had hidden on the island. There was none since last time I had been there, I'd burned it all for a signal fire. They rescued me and lent me a boat. And now I have come back!"
"Oh no," said Jessica.
"You can say that again," Natalie said.
"Oh--"
"I didn't mean it that way, you retard!" Natalie said.
Jessica pouted and walked over to Jack and started to drink his canteen of red wine.
"What in the blazes are you doing?!" he yelled.
"Mmm! Red wine!" Jessica said.
"You know what? That's my red wine! I did not say you can drink it! Arr, matey! You drinking all my red wine really turns me on!" Jack said.
"What the Hell?" Natalie said.
"I agree...he's scaring me," Will said.
"He's mine!" Jessica screamed at them. "My Precious!"
"Don't go all Gollum on us," Natalie said.
"Keep your paws off of him!"
"I wouldn't even look at him...I've got Will!"
"I was talking to Elizabitch!"
"Oh."
"Hey! Stop calling me that!"
"Let's throw her off the ship!" Will said.
"Okay!" Natalie and Jessica said.
Together, the three pirates pulled Elizabeth by her corset strings and threw her overboard. They watched as she fell and saw a great white shark swallow her whole.
"Well, that'll be the last of her," said Natalie...or will it?