Disclaimer: I do not own anything that has to do with "Pirates of the
Caribbean". Sadly, I do not own Orlando Bloom or Johnny Depp. I do not own
any thing (Legolas) in Lord of the Rings, either. The only person I do own
is Natalie (myself)
********************
Natalie and Will reset the combination lock so that Jessica would not be able to get in the wine cabinet again. This time, Natalie memorized the combination, unlike Jack, who had foolishly carved it on the cabinet door.
"What is the combination?" Jack asked Natalie.
"I cannot say. I am not supposed to let anyone except for Will know the combination. Besides, you always get drunk!"
Jack walked away mumbling about how he can't even drink his own wine and how some psycho-woman is taking over his ship.
"He'll be back," said Will.
"Well, duh, there's no where else to go...we're all stuck on this ship!"
"Oh!"
"Blonde!"
"Is that a threat?"
"No...that is a fact. This is a threat!" She took out her sword and yelled, "Mexicano!" and Jessica came out dressed in a brightly colored poncho and a sombrero. She started to breakdance.
"That was predictable," the parrot said.
"I still have no idea where she gets these costumes from," Natalie said.
"I will never tell! Ahahhaa!" Jessica spotted a rat. She threw herself at it and began to wrestle it. "By crikey! Isn't she gorgeous? This rat will make a fine hat for my new costume!"
"I should have known," Will said.
"How should you have known?" Natalie asked.
"I dunno!"
"Okaaay then!"
"This is some fine rat fur," Jessica muttered under her breath. She skinned the rat with Jack's sword right in front of Natalie and Will.
"That's just nasty," Natalie said.
"Ahhh! My sword!" Jack shrieked.
"I don't get it, how does she always get a hold of your sword?" Natalie asked.
"I'll never tell! Ahahhaa!" Jessica sceamed.
"Anyways, Jack, how long is it going to take us to reach Treasure Island?" Will asked.
"It'll take about a week if the winds hold up," Jack replied.
"And if they don't?"
"Three weeks? A month? Who knows," the pirate replied.
"Let us hope that we are not stuck on this ship for a month with these crazy people," the parrot said.
"Who you calling a psycho?" Jessica asked it.
"Well, let me think. The blonde girl that breakdances," it replied.
"Well, you must be a hallucinating parrot 'cause there's no blonde girl that breakdances on this ship! Everyone has dark hair, and I'm Mexican," Jessica said.
"Why does she think she's Mexican?" Will whispered to Natalie.
"I dunno. She's waaaaay too white to be a Mexican. She's Scottish!" Natalie said.
"That's interesting," Jack said.
"Why don't you go back to steering the ship?" Natalie asked.
"Fine then. I'm going to take this to the Jerry Springer Show!" Jack said.
Natalie rolled her eyes. "You need help. Professional help."
"You don't know me! You don't know me! Sit down, sit down! Whateva', whateva'!"
"Oh no, Jack's gone ghetto," Will said.
"He's beyond ghetto," Natalie said, "That's what he gets from living in that trailer park in the south side of Jamaica!"
"Will, you look like new money!" Jack said.
Will took a few steps away from him. "He's scaring me."
"Yes. Why don't we go watch Jessica instead?" Natalie asked.
"Where is Jessica?" Will asked.
Natalie looked around. Jessica was no where to bee seen. She saw a trail of rat fur leading into the lower decks. "Uh oh!"
Will and Natalie followed the trail of rat hairs. They finally found Jessica. She was sitting in front of the cabinet as if she was thinking of ways to get the red wine. She had already given up on the combo for the lock.
"Jessica, why don't you have some water instead?" Natalie asked.
Jessica turned around. Her face was chalk white and her eyes and lips were flaming red. She started to screech like a banchee. All Natalie could hear was, "I...WANT...RUM...BACK!"
"Uh, Natalie, where does Jack keep the straightjackets?" Will asked.
"We don't have any."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"We're doomed, aren't we?" Will asked.
"Yeah." Natalie never took her eyes off of the sword that was lying on the stool. She watched as Jessica grabbed it and started to hack furiously at the lock. It broke finally and Jessica took out the red wine.
"MUAHAHAHA!" Jessica took the wine bottles and took off running to her cabin. She sat on her cot and stared admiringly at the bottle.
"She's seriously scaring me," Will said.
"Same here."
Jessica gave them both suspicious looks. "You're not getting any of my wine if that's what you're thinking!"
"Jessica! We do not want your wine...we want Jack's wine!" Natalie said.
"But that it Jack's wine," Will said.
"Exactly. Jess, give the wine back to me now, and I'll let you have one glass, but just one!"
Jessica stared at the wine and back to Natalie. "Arr! This be my matey's wine, so I'll be giving it to you now!" She handed Natalie the bottle. Natalie took it and poured her glass with the wine and handed it to Jessica.
"Good Jessica!" Natalie said. She walked away and locked the cabinet up again with a new lock. She then went back on the deck to see what Will and Jessica were doing.
Jessica was now in a straightjacket and she was, of course, breakdancing.
"I thought we didn't have any straightjackets," Natalie said.
"We didn't. She made that out of those rat hides!" Will said, slightly disgusted and slightly amuzed.
"That just contaminated my bubble...I did not need to hear that."
"Sorry. We're going to be here for a while, and we're going to be stuck with these psychopaths for a while, so we better get used to it," Will said as Jessica started to attack a rat with Jack's sword. Jack was screeching and ranting while Jessica skinned it. Natalie and Will both rolled their eyes and started to swordfight for three hours. Jessica tried to swordfight with them, but she got too distracted because Jack kept on making cute faces at her, so she walked over to him and gave him back his sword. He then smiled innocently and whacked her on the side of the head with the flat side, causing her to lose consciousness.
"Arr, you be my matey, now!" the parrot said to Jack.
"That's a smart parrot," Will said.
"I agree," Natalie said, "Will, help me carry Jessica back to her room, we can't leave her here on the deck."
"Okay." Will and Natalie both picked up Jessica and carried her all the way to her cabin. They set her on her cot and put the straightjacket back on her so that she wouldn't go all crazy when she woke up.
"This room needs re-decorating!" Natalie said.
"Oh no, please don't tell me about something you saw on Martha Sterwart!"
"No! I hate her! I was going to say, we should have the Fab Five come over to the ship!"
"The Fab Five?"
"Queer Eye for the Straight Guy?" Natalie asked.
"Oh! That T.V. show where five gay guys go and straighten a straight guy?"
"Yes. I could just see Jack's face if we brought a bunch of gay guys on the ship to remodel and decorate it!"
"He would sooooo die!"
"I know. You know what though? We could just go and decorate the ship on our own! I was thinking about turning this room into a padded room, if you know what I mean."
"Haha! I know. Your friend is crazy!"
"Yeah, lately, her with her breakdancing has scared me! I think Jack must have spiked her drink!"
"Well, he must spike all of her drinks all the time for her to be like that!"
"Nah, she just likes a lot of attention. That's so strange though...she used to hate being the center of attention!"
"Let's go help the crew!"
"Okay!" Natalie said.
They helped the crew with the sails. Natalie went into the captain's cabin and turned on the T.V. She sat down on the couch and started to watch Survivor in the Pearl Islands.
"Who got voted off?" Will asked as he saw the credits rolling on the screen.
"They just voted off Skinny Ryan!" Natalie said.
"They should have Survivor on that one island that Jack was on!"
"Yeah. Oh! Look! Darkwing Duck is on!"
"Oooh!"
Everyone, except for Jessica went into the captain's cabin and watched the Darkwing Duck show. When it ended, Jessica walked into the room and started to scream.
"I missed the Care Bears!" she cried.
"Care Bears?" Natalie asked.
"Yes!"
"Okaaay...I'm going to pretend that I just did not witness Jessica say that she likes to watch the Care Bears!"
"They're hella cool!"
"Right."
"Oh well...I can always watch Spongebob Squarepants!"
Natalie and Will both exchanged glances that said the same thing, "This is going to be a long quest."
********************
Natalie and Will reset the combination lock so that Jessica would not be able to get in the wine cabinet again. This time, Natalie memorized the combination, unlike Jack, who had foolishly carved it on the cabinet door.
"What is the combination?" Jack asked Natalie.
"I cannot say. I am not supposed to let anyone except for Will know the combination. Besides, you always get drunk!"
Jack walked away mumbling about how he can't even drink his own wine and how some psycho-woman is taking over his ship.
"He'll be back," said Will.
"Well, duh, there's no where else to go...we're all stuck on this ship!"
"Oh!"
"Blonde!"
"Is that a threat?"
"No...that is a fact. This is a threat!" She took out her sword and yelled, "Mexicano!" and Jessica came out dressed in a brightly colored poncho and a sombrero. She started to breakdance.
"That was predictable," the parrot said.
"I still have no idea where she gets these costumes from," Natalie said.
"I will never tell! Ahahhaa!" Jessica spotted a rat. She threw herself at it and began to wrestle it. "By crikey! Isn't she gorgeous? This rat will make a fine hat for my new costume!"
"I should have known," Will said.
"How should you have known?" Natalie asked.
"I dunno!"
"Okaaay then!"
"This is some fine rat fur," Jessica muttered under her breath. She skinned the rat with Jack's sword right in front of Natalie and Will.
"That's just nasty," Natalie said.
"Ahhh! My sword!" Jack shrieked.
"I don't get it, how does she always get a hold of your sword?" Natalie asked.
"I'll never tell! Ahahhaa!" Jessica sceamed.
"Anyways, Jack, how long is it going to take us to reach Treasure Island?" Will asked.
"It'll take about a week if the winds hold up," Jack replied.
"And if they don't?"
"Three weeks? A month? Who knows," the pirate replied.
"Let us hope that we are not stuck on this ship for a month with these crazy people," the parrot said.
"Who you calling a psycho?" Jessica asked it.
"Well, let me think. The blonde girl that breakdances," it replied.
"Well, you must be a hallucinating parrot 'cause there's no blonde girl that breakdances on this ship! Everyone has dark hair, and I'm Mexican," Jessica said.
"Why does she think she's Mexican?" Will whispered to Natalie.
"I dunno. She's waaaaay too white to be a Mexican. She's Scottish!" Natalie said.
"That's interesting," Jack said.
"Why don't you go back to steering the ship?" Natalie asked.
"Fine then. I'm going to take this to the Jerry Springer Show!" Jack said.
Natalie rolled her eyes. "You need help. Professional help."
"You don't know me! You don't know me! Sit down, sit down! Whateva', whateva'!"
"Oh no, Jack's gone ghetto," Will said.
"He's beyond ghetto," Natalie said, "That's what he gets from living in that trailer park in the south side of Jamaica!"
"Will, you look like new money!" Jack said.
Will took a few steps away from him. "He's scaring me."
"Yes. Why don't we go watch Jessica instead?" Natalie asked.
"Where is Jessica?" Will asked.
Natalie looked around. Jessica was no where to bee seen. She saw a trail of rat fur leading into the lower decks. "Uh oh!"
Will and Natalie followed the trail of rat hairs. They finally found Jessica. She was sitting in front of the cabinet as if she was thinking of ways to get the red wine. She had already given up on the combo for the lock.
"Jessica, why don't you have some water instead?" Natalie asked.
Jessica turned around. Her face was chalk white and her eyes and lips were flaming red. She started to screech like a banchee. All Natalie could hear was, "I...WANT...RUM...BACK!"
"Uh, Natalie, where does Jack keep the straightjackets?" Will asked.
"We don't have any."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"We're doomed, aren't we?" Will asked.
"Yeah." Natalie never took her eyes off of the sword that was lying on the stool. She watched as Jessica grabbed it and started to hack furiously at the lock. It broke finally and Jessica took out the red wine.
"MUAHAHAHA!" Jessica took the wine bottles and took off running to her cabin. She sat on her cot and stared admiringly at the bottle.
"She's seriously scaring me," Will said.
"Same here."
Jessica gave them both suspicious looks. "You're not getting any of my wine if that's what you're thinking!"
"Jessica! We do not want your wine...we want Jack's wine!" Natalie said.
"But that it Jack's wine," Will said.
"Exactly. Jess, give the wine back to me now, and I'll let you have one glass, but just one!"
Jessica stared at the wine and back to Natalie. "Arr! This be my matey's wine, so I'll be giving it to you now!" She handed Natalie the bottle. Natalie took it and poured her glass with the wine and handed it to Jessica.
"Good Jessica!" Natalie said. She walked away and locked the cabinet up again with a new lock. She then went back on the deck to see what Will and Jessica were doing.
Jessica was now in a straightjacket and she was, of course, breakdancing.
"I thought we didn't have any straightjackets," Natalie said.
"We didn't. She made that out of those rat hides!" Will said, slightly disgusted and slightly amuzed.
"That just contaminated my bubble...I did not need to hear that."
"Sorry. We're going to be here for a while, and we're going to be stuck with these psychopaths for a while, so we better get used to it," Will said as Jessica started to attack a rat with Jack's sword. Jack was screeching and ranting while Jessica skinned it. Natalie and Will both rolled their eyes and started to swordfight for three hours. Jessica tried to swordfight with them, but she got too distracted because Jack kept on making cute faces at her, so she walked over to him and gave him back his sword. He then smiled innocently and whacked her on the side of the head with the flat side, causing her to lose consciousness.
"Arr, you be my matey, now!" the parrot said to Jack.
"That's a smart parrot," Will said.
"I agree," Natalie said, "Will, help me carry Jessica back to her room, we can't leave her here on the deck."
"Okay." Will and Natalie both picked up Jessica and carried her all the way to her cabin. They set her on her cot and put the straightjacket back on her so that she wouldn't go all crazy when she woke up.
"This room needs re-decorating!" Natalie said.
"Oh no, please don't tell me about something you saw on Martha Sterwart!"
"No! I hate her! I was going to say, we should have the Fab Five come over to the ship!"
"The Fab Five?"
"Queer Eye for the Straight Guy?" Natalie asked.
"Oh! That T.V. show where five gay guys go and straighten a straight guy?"
"Yes. I could just see Jack's face if we brought a bunch of gay guys on the ship to remodel and decorate it!"
"He would sooooo die!"
"I know. You know what though? We could just go and decorate the ship on our own! I was thinking about turning this room into a padded room, if you know what I mean."
"Haha! I know. Your friend is crazy!"
"Yeah, lately, her with her breakdancing has scared me! I think Jack must have spiked her drink!"
"Well, he must spike all of her drinks all the time for her to be like that!"
"Nah, she just likes a lot of attention. That's so strange though...she used to hate being the center of attention!"
"Let's go help the crew!"
"Okay!" Natalie said.
They helped the crew with the sails. Natalie went into the captain's cabin and turned on the T.V. She sat down on the couch and started to watch Survivor in the Pearl Islands.
"Who got voted off?" Will asked as he saw the credits rolling on the screen.
"They just voted off Skinny Ryan!" Natalie said.
"They should have Survivor on that one island that Jack was on!"
"Yeah. Oh! Look! Darkwing Duck is on!"
"Oooh!"
Everyone, except for Jessica went into the captain's cabin and watched the Darkwing Duck show. When it ended, Jessica walked into the room and started to scream.
"I missed the Care Bears!" she cried.
"Care Bears?" Natalie asked.
"Yes!"
"Okaaay...I'm going to pretend that I just did not witness Jessica say that she likes to watch the Care Bears!"
"They're hella cool!"
"Right."
"Oh well...I can always watch Spongebob Squarepants!"
Natalie and Will both exchanged glances that said the same thing, "This is going to be a long quest."