Disclaimer: * cough, sputter, die, choke, barf * I do not own any Disney TV
characters, movies, producers, songs, and/or randomness. I have never owned
Bob Saget, Michael Jackson, Aaron Carter, Harry Potter, Rasputin, Sree the
turtle, Tamora Pierce/anything she wrote. I have no claim to Batman,
Spiderman, Super Chippie (but only on Tuesdays), Wonder Women, and/or the
string monopoly. I wish I owned California, Canada, Washington D.C., a city
in Germany, Africa, Frank the pool boy. And against popular belief I am not
the ruler of the world...yet...maybe?
Another Soap Opera
Welcome To yet another episode of Days of Our Messed up Lives *Pictures of random characters dancing on a table while eating spaghetti are shown while announcer continues* When we last left our characters Prince Roald and Cleon had come up with a new scheme to take over the palace. Yuki had woken up from her coma. Shinko had found a perfect birthday present for King Jon, a manatee. Alanna had just agreed to go on a "date" with George, and Frank was busy cleaning Kel's pool.
~ ~
"Dum dum dum dum" sang Frank, very out of tune. "Oh darn it" he said, "that leaf is just out of my reach. I will Prevail!!!" (Cheesy music is heard) so he leaned down and tried to reach it. (Music gets more dramatic) But because Frank is the only pool boy who can't swim he fell in and drowned.
Just then King Jon came running by holding a fork and screaming, "Ahhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I've been hit! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
~ ~
"Quick" said a whispered voice, "Let's review the plan. Get in, get lots of broccoli, get out. And Dom if you're going to help out don't eat anything"
"Got it," said another whispered voice, "Eat lots of food"
"No, don't eat ANY food"
"Ok, don't let Carol eat any food"
"You"
"Me"
"Ok let's go"
(Pause) "Dom, what are you doing?"
"Didn't you say to go find Carol?"
"No"
"Right... so what am I doing again?"
"Lets review the plan again shall we?"
"Ok"
"Get in, get broccoli, DON'T EAT ANY FOOD, get out. Got it?"
"Yeah"
"Then repeat"
"Get in"
"Good"
"Get broccoli"
"Ok"
"Don't eat any food"
"Correct"
"Get out"
"Very good, now lets go"
"What are we doing again, I wasn't listening?" asked a third whispered voice
*CRACK*
"I never liked him any ways"
"I always thought Cleon was nice, I'm going to miss him"
"Uh, Guys?"
"Quiet Cleon, can't you see that Dom is sad about Cleon's death"
"I'm not dead"
"Yes you are"
"No I'm not"
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" screamed King Jon as he ran in and started to break dance on the floor with his fork still in hand
"Darn it King Jon," said Lord Raoul as he walked onto the scene, "You've been disturbing the peace again. Cant you see these good citizens of the palace are trying to steal all the broccoli?" So with that Lord Raoul started to beat King Jon to a bloody pulp. That's when Merric came in.
"I'll help you Lord Raoul!!! Here hold this" So he handed Lord Raoul the pair of panty hose he was wearing up until five seconds ago, who then immediately put it on his head.
Merric then started to make out with King Jon who, fortunately for him, was unconscious.
~ ~
Later that day Alanna and George were out on a date at the Olive Garden
"Waiter" said George "we are ready to order"
"Ok" said Neal as he came up to the table (he was their waiter)
"We'll have the Lobster please," said George
"LOBSTER!!!" screamed King Jon in a high squeaky voice as he ran by the table
"So?" said George once they were alone at their table, "how are you?" but Alanna wasn't listening, instead she was loading a gun
"Lobster" said Neal as he handed both Alanna and George a plate of Lobster
"This taste delicious" said George after a couple of minutes of eating
"YOU IDIOT!!!" yelled Alanna as she stood up and pointed the gun she had loaded earlier at George, "I hate you!!!" she then hurled the gun at him, causing him to die instantly before she sat back down and finished dinner.
"Uh...miss?" said some random waitress person dude, "I'm afraid I have some bad news"
"Well what is it!" asked Alanna very annoyed
"It seems Frank, your pool boy, died earlier today in a freak swimming pool accident"
"Darn it Frank! I told you take swimming lessons!!!" cried Alanna as she stormed out, but as she reached the door Neal stopped her.
"I know you murdered George," he said
"How do you know?" asked Alanna, shocked that he could know
"Because," said Neal, "I'm psycho" he then pointed to his head and walked away, every now and then looking over his shoulder and whispering "psycho" again.
~ ~
Five years, six months, eight days, twenty three minutes, and fifteen seconds later that day Shinko was walking out of the safety of her elevator so she could go to Franks funeral.
"I'll miss him," said Lady Cytheria as she took her turn to look in the casket, "he was the best lover I ever had"
"Oh Frank" said Buri as she took her turn at the casket, "You were the best lover I ever had"
"My lover" said Jump, Kel's dog as he took his turn, "you'll always be my best"
"Pineapple, pineapple, pineapple" sang Neal from within the kitchen where he was watching a cooking show so he could make all the funeral guests lobster
"Now" said the TV. "Put the lobster in water"
"Ok" announced Neal, "this is easy" so he filled a pot with cold water and put the live lobsters in
~ ~
"Funeral guests" said Shinko as she stood up to give Frank's eulogy, "I would just like to say that..."
"It's raining broccoli!!!" shouted Dom
"Broccoli angel!" screamed Cleon as he got off the floor to show people his beautiful broccoli angel
"Hahahahahahaha" laughed Prince Roald evilly "my plan to take over the palace is working! The broccoli is causing disorder! It's the broccoli of Disorder!!!"
"I had an affair with Frank!" yelled Shinko above the now quiet crowd
"Lobster?" asked Neal as he came in and handed everyone his or her dinner
"So honey" said Kel to Yuki. "How did you surgery go?"
"Doggy!!!" shouted Yuki as she raced towards her lobster when suddenly...
"It's still alive!"
"He is?" asked Yuki, "Frank I'll save you!!!"
"I asked for well done, not rare!" screamed Kel as she threw her lobster at Franks casket causing Franks dead body to sit up
"Wow this is so fresh!" cried Kel, "my compliments to the chief!"
"Frank!!!" cried Yuki as she jumped into Franks coffin and started to administer CPR
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!" screamed King Jon as he ran through the room, "I Cant Believe It's Not Lobster!!!"
"Waiter" said Buri calmly to Neal, "I think my lobsters a bit under cooked"
"Dom, you sexy beast!" screamed Kel as she gave up her attempts to stop Yuki who was now hitting Frank with a lamp
"Not now honey," said Dom, "I'm trying to eat"
"Hey Frank! Do you have change for a hundred?" asked Yuki
~ ~
Tune in next week to another exciting episode of Days of Our Messed Lives. Will Frank live? Can Dom stop eating? What's wrong with King Jon? Will Neal ever figure out he physic, not psycho? Will Alanna ever get a bigger role? And what's Jump doing with that whip?
Another Soap Opera
Welcome To yet another episode of Days of Our Messed up Lives *Pictures of random characters dancing on a table while eating spaghetti are shown while announcer continues* When we last left our characters Prince Roald and Cleon had come up with a new scheme to take over the palace. Yuki had woken up from her coma. Shinko had found a perfect birthday present for King Jon, a manatee. Alanna had just agreed to go on a "date" with George, and Frank was busy cleaning Kel's pool.
~ ~
"Dum dum dum dum" sang Frank, very out of tune. "Oh darn it" he said, "that leaf is just out of my reach. I will Prevail!!!" (Cheesy music is heard) so he leaned down and tried to reach it. (Music gets more dramatic) But because Frank is the only pool boy who can't swim he fell in and drowned.
Just then King Jon came running by holding a fork and screaming, "Ahhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I've been hit! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
~ ~
"Quick" said a whispered voice, "Let's review the plan. Get in, get lots of broccoli, get out. And Dom if you're going to help out don't eat anything"
"Got it," said another whispered voice, "Eat lots of food"
"No, don't eat ANY food"
"Ok, don't let Carol eat any food"
"You"
"Me"
"Ok let's go"
(Pause) "Dom, what are you doing?"
"Didn't you say to go find Carol?"
"No"
"Right... so what am I doing again?"
"Lets review the plan again shall we?"
"Ok"
"Get in, get broccoli, DON'T EAT ANY FOOD, get out. Got it?"
"Yeah"
"Then repeat"
"Get in"
"Good"
"Get broccoli"
"Ok"
"Don't eat any food"
"Correct"
"Get out"
"Very good, now lets go"
"What are we doing again, I wasn't listening?" asked a third whispered voice
*CRACK*
"I never liked him any ways"
"I always thought Cleon was nice, I'm going to miss him"
"Uh, Guys?"
"Quiet Cleon, can't you see that Dom is sad about Cleon's death"
"I'm not dead"
"Yes you are"
"No I'm not"
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" screamed King Jon as he ran in and started to break dance on the floor with his fork still in hand
"Darn it King Jon," said Lord Raoul as he walked onto the scene, "You've been disturbing the peace again. Cant you see these good citizens of the palace are trying to steal all the broccoli?" So with that Lord Raoul started to beat King Jon to a bloody pulp. That's when Merric came in.
"I'll help you Lord Raoul!!! Here hold this" So he handed Lord Raoul the pair of panty hose he was wearing up until five seconds ago, who then immediately put it on his head.
Merric then started to make out with King Jon who, fortunately for him, was unconscious.
~ ~
Later that day Alanna and George were out on a date at the Olive Garden
"Waiter" said George "we are ready to order"
"Ok" said Neal as he came up to the table (he was their waiter)
"We'll have the Lobster please," said George
"LOBSTER!!!" screamed King Jon in a high squeaky voice as he ran by the table
"So?" said George once they were alone at their table, "how are you?" but Alanna wasn't listening, instead she was loading a gun
"Lobster" said Neal as he handed both Alanna and George a plate of Lobster
"This taste delicious" said George after a couple of minutes of eating
"YOU IDIOT!!!" yelled Alanna as she stood up and pointed the gun she had loaded earlier at George, "I hate you!!!" she then hurled the gun at him, causing him to die instantly before she sat back down and finished dinner.
"Uh...miss?" said some random waitress person dude, "I'm afraid I have some bad news"
"Well what is it!" asked Alanna very annoyed
"It seems Frank, your pool boy, died earlier today in a freak swimming pool accident"
"Darn it Frank! I told you take swimming lessons!!!" cried Alanna as she stormed out, but as she reached the door Neal stopped her.
"I know you murdered George," he said
"How do you know?" asked Alanna, shocked that he could know
"Because," said Neal, "I'm psycho" he then pointed to his head and walked away, every now and then looking over his shoulder and whispering "psycho" again.
~ ~
Five years, six months, eight days, twenty three minutes, and fifteen seconds later that day Shinko was walking out of the safety of her elevator so she could go to Franks funeral.
"I'll miss him," said Lady Cytheria as she took her turn to look in the casket, "he was the best lover I ever had"
"Oh Frank" said Buri as she took her turn at the casket, "You were the best lover I ever had"
"My lover" said Jump, Kel's dog as he took his turn, "you'll always be my best"
"Pineapple, pineapple, pineapple" sang Neal from within the kitchen where he was watching a cooking show so he could make all the funeral guests lobster
"Now" said the TV. "Put the lobster in water"
"Ok" announced Neal, "this is easy" so he filled a pot with cold water and put the live lobsters in
~ ~
"Funeral guests" said Shinko as she stood up to give Frank's eulogy, "I would just like to say that..."
"It's raining broccoli!!!" shouted Dom
"Broccoli angel!" screamed Cleon as he got off the floor to show people his beautiful broccoli angel
"Hahahahahahaha" laughed Prince Roald evilly "my plan to take over the palace is working! The broccoli is causing disorder! It's the broccoli of Disorder!!!"
"I had an affair with Frank!" yelled Shinko above the now quiet crowd
"Lobster?" asked Neal as he came in and handed everyone his or her dinner
"So honey" said Kel to Yuki. "How did you surgery go?"
"Doggy!!!" shouted Yuki as she raced towards her lobster when suddenly...
"It's still alive!"
"He is?" asked Yuki, "Frank I'll save you!!!"
"I asked for well done, not rare!" screamed Kel as she threw her lobster at Franks casket causing Franks dead body to sit up
"Wow this is so fresh!" cried Kel, "my compliments to the chief!"
"Frank!!!" cried Yuki as she jumped into Franks coffin and started to administer CPR
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!" screamed King Jon as he ran through the room, "I Cant Believe It's Not Lobster!!!"
"Waiter" said Buri calmly to Neal, "I think my lobsters a bit under cooked"
"Dom, you sexy beast!" screamed Kel as she gave up her attempts to stop Yuki who was now hitting Frank with a lamp
"Not now honey," said Dom, "I'm trying to eat"
"Hey Frank! Do you have change for a hundred?" asked Yuki
~ ~
Tune in next week to another exciting episode of Days of Our Messed Lives. Will Frank live? Can Dom stop eating? What's wrong with King Jon? Will Neal ever figure out he physic, not psycho? Will Alanna ever get a bigger role? And what's Jump doing with that whip?