The Lost Script
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Scene starts with a dark stage as the audience hears a slow and steady creak
Alanna: (walks onto stage and turns on light)
On the stage we can see a chair in the center of the room placed underneath a ceiling fan where Yuki is standing on the chair, contemplating killing herself.
Alanna: (screams) Oh My God! (Walks to the chair and moves it to the side of the stage) What kind of animal would put this chair in the middle of a room! Hey Yuki (sits down in chair) it's disgusting! The Pig!!!
Yuki: (choughs, sputters, chokes, dies)
Alanna: (Gets up and walks to a switch and turns the fan on) I'm Hot
Yuki: (starts to spin really fast)
Alanna: (turns fan off)
Yuki: (hand comes flying off and hits Alanna in head)
Jon: (runs in and grabs Yuki's legs) Faster Alanna, It's so romantic!
Side note: Yuki is not only wearing a dress but a variety of things including, a trench coat, snow jacket, Neal's shirt, Jon's pants, a ski mask, Merric' purple dress, Prince Roald's socks, Dom's shoes, and Owen's lipstick
Alanna: How amazing, she still looks thin!
(Enters Neal)
Neal: Hey King Jon! Has anyone told you how good you look today? (Grabs Jon's legs and starts to spin around really fast)
(Enters Dom)
Dom: (dressed like a peanut vender) Peanuts! Get Your Peanuts!!!'
Neal: Hey Dom, I'll buy some peanuts
Dom: Ok, here you go (hands Neal a bag of peanuts)
(Enters Kel)
Kel: Hey Neal! Eat Your Own Husband!!!
Neal: Ok! (Starts to feed Yuki peanuts) Oh, look here my pretty wife.
(Enters Erin)
Erin: I am the Keeper of Time (holds staff up) this is my magical staff of Potato Chips (Cheesy, I know!)
Erin: (throws staff at Alanna and hits Yuki)
Yuki: (turns into a giant olive hanging from the ceiling fan in the center of the stage)
Neal: What's that my pet? You want more peanuts? (Continues to feed Yuki and doesn't notice Yuki is an over grown olive)
King Jon: (falls off Yuki) Ow, my butt!
Neal: I'm hungry! (Makes sure know ones looking) (Takes bite out of Yuki)
(Enters Casio the girl who thinks she is a vampire, but alas is wrong)
Casio: Put a whore on her head
Dom: who wants some garlic toast?
Casio: I do! (Turns to Neal) I'm hungry too; I think I'll eat you
Neal: (screams in a girly voice) (throws peanuts in air)
Dom: Peanuts!!! (Gets down on floor and begins to count the peanuts)
Kel: Dom stop counting! You're making it obvious! (Kicks Dom) Stupid husband!
Dom: (shows Kel a handful of peanuts) (innocently) Want some?
Kel: (slaps peanuts out of Dom's hand) You know I don't like peanuts!
Casio: (starts to melt)
Neal: are you really melting?
Casio: No (stands up and walks off stage)
Owen: (randomly) Noooooooooo!!! Mommy!!! I stepped on a fortune cookie!!!!!!
(Enters Numair and Daine)
Daine: Save the whales (holds up freshly painted poster) Dolphin free tuna is the way to eat!
Numair: (quizzically) What's tuna?
Daine: SHUT UP!!!
Numair: (meekly) ok (try's to sneak out of room)
Daine: (hands Numair a sign) Here, hold this! (Walks outside)
Numair: (looks up at ceiling) Why gods? I pay my taxes, and if I don't its not my fault! I blame Jon; he put the hole in the o-zone layer.
(Enters Jump)
Jump: (holding whip) Happy cows come from California (pokes Owen) BOOPIE
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Thank you all for the lovely cheese (cough) I mean reviews. I treasure them all. Unfortunately I don't have enough to power my time machine yet so if all you beautiful people out there could send a few more I might finally know the secrets of TIME!!!!!! Or not. Either way? Just review. Merci.
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Scene starts with a dark stage as the audience hears a slow and steady creak
Alanna: (walks onto stage and turns on light)
On the stage we can see a chair in the center of the room placed underneath a ceiling fan where Yuki is standing on the chair, contemplating killing herself.
Alanna: (screams) Oh My God! (Walks to the chair and moves it to the side of the stage) What kind of animal would put this chair in the middle of a room! Hey Yuki (sits down in chair) it's disgusting! The Pig!!!
Yuki: (choughs, sputters, chokes, dies)
Alanna: (Gets up and walks to a switch and turns the fan on) I'm Hot
Yuki: (starts to spin really fast)
Alanna: (turns fan off)
Yuki: (hand comes flying off and hits Alanna in head)
Jon: (runs in and grabs Yuki's legs) Faster Alanna, It's so romantic!
Side note: Yuki is not only wearing a dress but a variety of things including, a trench coat, snow jacket, Neal's shirt, Jon's pants, a ski mask, Merric' purple dress, Prince Roald's socks, Dom's shoes, and Owen's lipstick
Alanna: How amazing, she still looks thin!
(Enters Neal)
Neal: Hey King Jon! Has anyone told you how good you look today? (Grabs Jon's legs and starts to spin around really fast)
(Enters Dom)
Dom: (dressed like a peanut vender) Peanuts! Get Your Peanuts!!!'
Neal: Hey Dom, I'll buy some peanuts
Dom: Ok, here you go (hands Neal a bag of peanuts)
(Enters Kel)
Kel: Hey Neal! Eat Your Own Husband!!!
Neal: Ok! (Starts to feed Yuki peanuts) Oh, look here my pretty wife.
(Enters Erin)
Erin: I am the Keeper of Time (holds staff up) this is my magical staff of Potato Chips (Cheesy, I know!)
Erin: (throws staff at Alanna and hits Yuki)
Yuki: (turns into a giant olive hanging from the ceiling fan in the center of the stage)
Neal: What's that my pet? You want more peanuts? (Continues to feed Yuki and doesn't notice Yuki is an over grown olive)
King Jon: (falls off Yuki) Ow, my butt!
Neal: I'm hungry! (Makes sure know ones looking) (Takes bite out of Yuki)
(Enters Casio the girl who thinks she is a vampire, but alas is wrong)
Casio: Put a whore on her head
Dom: who wants some garlic toast?
Casio: I do! (Turns to Neal) I'm hungry too; I think I'll eat you
Neal: (screams in a girly voice) (throws peanuts in air)
Dom: Peanuts!!! (Gets down on floor and begins to count the peanuts)
Kel: Dom stop counting! You're making it obvious! (Kicks Dom) Stupid husband!
Dom: (shows Kel a handful of peanuts) (innocently) Want some?
Kel: (slaps peanuts out of Dom's hand) You know I don't like peanuts!
Casio: (starts to melt)
Neal: are you really melting?
Casio: No (stands up and walks off stage)
Owen: (randomly) Noooooooooo!!! Mommy!!! I stepped on a fortune cookie!!!!!!
(Enters Numair and Daine)
Daine: Save the whales (holds up freshly painted poster) Dolphin free tuna is the way to eat!
Numair: (quizzically) What's tuna?
Daine: SHUT UP!!!
Numair: (meekly) ok (try's to sneak out of room)
Daine: (hands Numair a sign) Here, hold this! (Walks outside)
Numair: (looks up at ceiling) Why gods? I pay my taxes, and if I don't its not my fault! I blame Jon; he put the hole in the o-zone layer.
(Enters Jump)
Jump: (holding whip) Happy cows come from California (pokes Owen) BOOPIE
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Thank you all for the lovely cheese (cough) I mean reviews. I treasure them all. Unfortunately I don't have enough to power my time machine yet so if all you beautiful people out there could send a few more I might finally know the secrets of TIME!!!!!! Or not. Either way? Just review. Merci.