UNO HURTS:
Now for normal people a rainy day can be an awful experience. No being able to go outside and kill random nobles on the practice courts, no beating your best friend and his cousin to a bloody pulp, in other words, no joy. Unless you had...
"HARRY POTTER UNO CARDS!!!" shouted Kel as she and Yuki sat down on Kel's floor to begin their death defying card game.
"Look," said Yuki as she set down a card with a picture of Hagrid from Harry Potter on it, "it's your ugly husband!"
"Look," said Kel as she set down a card with The Sorting Hat pictured on it, "it's my hat! I've been looking everywhere for it!"
"Look," said Yuki as she put down a card with Filch the Caretaker holding his cat Mrs. Norris on it, "it's your ugly husband holding your boyfriend!"
"Hey!" said Dom as he walked into the room and sat down next to Kel, "What are we playing?"
Yuki and Kel quickly stood up and started to scream. "YOU'RE DISTURBING THE SPIRITS!!!" yelled Kel when the screaming stopped
"My séance!!!" cried Yuki, "You've ruined it!!!"
"The spirits are mad now!!"
"Quickly Dom run away!!!"
"I feel a spirit taking over my body!" said Kel as she punched Dom square in the face, "WHERE'S KING JON NOW?!"
"What?" asked Dom as he began to recover from the punch when Kel kicked him in the stomach and he blacked out.
"Where's King Jon now?" she calmly asked
"Did someone call?" said King Jonathon from the doorway
"Ahhhhhhh!!!" came Kel's scream
"THE SPIRITS!!!" yelled Yuki
"Where's King Jon now!" screamed Kel as she picked up a chair and hit King Jon with it
"Wow! This game is fun!" said Jon as he picked himself off the floor. He then proceeded to pick up a lamp and hit Kel over the head with it. "Where am I now?" he asked
Kel picked the chair back up and the two continued to hit each other for an hour or two. Or three. Ok, so it was four more hours.
"Look," said Yuki as she set down a card that held a picture of a dragon on it, "it's your ugly husband Neal"
"WHERE'S KING JON NOW!!!" shouted Kel as she threw her bed at Jonathon
"Look," said Dom as he set down a card with Hermione's picture on it, "it's your boyfriend"
"WHERE AM I NOW!!"
On the other side of the palace though, the people were having a bit of rainy day fun of their own.
"Gather around children," said Alanna to the room of the country's greatest leaders, "Aunt Alanna's going to tell you a story"
"But Alanna," spoke up Gary, "we are not your children"
"I SAID GATHER AROUND!!!" shouted Alanna as she unsheathed her sword
The greatest leaders of the country got scared when she did this so they did as Alanna told them, and they gathered around her.
"Now," she started, "this is my version of Santa Clause. LISTION CLOSELY!! TAKE NOTES! "
"Five years ago in a far away place called Wal-Mart, an old bald man with a white bead was born. They named him Dracula. Dracula's family was a poor hobo that lived behind Pizza Hut and as he grew he learned the importance of being a gold digger.
So, on Dracula's 289th birthday he was sent to live with a man called Bob Saget, and together they came up with a plan to take over the world. Unfortunately for them though the plane had crashed on the boarder of Mexico and Canada, and they didn't know where to burry the survivors.
After that experience Dracula decided to travel the world with a circus to discover the meaning of life. While at the circus, Dracula meet the love of his life, Jump the bearded Dog. Together the two got married and every year on their anniversary they eat potato chips and sing about binoculars.
And that is where we got Halloween. Happy New Year! I love you all."
"WHERE'S JON NOW!!!!"
Neal was not a very bright man. In fact he could be very stupid at times, like the beautiful rainy day when he decided to visit the strip club his dear friend Owen worked at.
After he arrived he was immediately given a table right by the stage, but Neal being the curious person he is decided to study the lamp sitting at his table.
'What a curious object' he thought as he put his nose into the flames, "Look!" he exclaimed out loud, "I'm on fire!"
"Hey Neal" said Owen as he walked out onto the stage "Did you know that you're on fire?"
"I don't want to grow up!" cried Neal while whipping the flames off of himself and setting the strip club on fire, "I want to DANCE!!!" And through out the world cheesy music was heard as Neal did his version of the Macarena. The world cried.
The lesson learned: Uno is fun, but Neal can't dance