Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion is property of Gainax/TV Tokyo and Mr. Anno. Series distributed by ADV Films.
Notes: This fanfic does NOT intend to mock Catholic religion or any other beliefs.
If you want to be my pre-reader include your e-mail address in your review.
C&C obviously welcome.
Shinji will probably be OOC

*Shinji's thoughts*

=== Change of scene

======================="Heavens & Hell Inc."==================

"Please, call me Luc; everybody does. But if you prefer...... Lucifer will do "

"Uh???"

"Luc! Look what you've done! He passed out!"

====Chapter 2: From Hell======

Shinji could still hear everything they were saying, he hadn't fainted; but the ridicule situation took its toll on him and he was exhausted.

"Nah…..He is still conscious. He'll come around; don't worry; besides it was fun."

"You're right, it was kind of fun. But that's not the point!! Are you going to leave him on the floor?"

"Why not? He looks tired, let him rest"

"What are we going to do with him when he recovers?"

"We? He is your responsibility"

"What??? I'm not a babysitter. "

"You're not, but somebody has to take care of the dirty work"

"So that's it??? You're leaving me here after I got all of your messages this morning??? I'm going to tell your girlfriend that today you were playing golf!!!"

"You can't blackmail me! I'm the prince of darkness"

"Don't give me that crap!! I came up with that title! I'm more evil than you and the entire hell put together"

"That's probably true" He mused "but right now you are the only available member of the staff who can do it."

"Really? And what are you going to do for the rest of the day?"

"I have a very important business meeting later this evening. He has to attend as well. Make sure He remembers it, ok? I don't want to repeat last year's fiasco."

"Don't blame it on me!! It was your fault He got late. You are the one who left him in the club without a map"

"You were supposed to pick Him up"

"Yes, but it took me a long time to find Him because He went into the woods. It was your fault"

"No, it wasn't and that's final"

"I can't believe this!! I don't know how many billion years old he is but the guy still acts like he's eight" Shinji heard her mumble.

"I heard that"

"It was meant for you to hear"

"Can we change the subject? …Good…. Are you going to look after Shinji? It's for a short time…. please?"

"No! I want to talk to the old man. Where is He anyway?"

"As far as I know He was trying to find his way back here"

"And you left Him alone? His sense of direction is worse than mine, and that's saying a lot!"

" I didn't bring him with me because he has the amazing speed of a snail. He'll show up… eventually. " He chuckled "So you aren't going to tell my sweetheart about the golf thing are you?"

With a resigned sigh she responded "Fine, I won't"

"And you will drag the kid with you everywhere and won't let him out of your sight"

"Fine, you win"

"Thank you"

Shinji sensed movement and wondered what was happening. Not having the strength to open his eyes was no fun, and left him in the dark in more ways than one.
"Get off of me; your fiancée was already mad when I answered the phone. I don't want to know what would happen if she sees us now"

"You're right; I'm out of here. Take care of the little fellow, he is a little slow, but has a good heart"

"Yeah, yeah. Bye Luc"

For the second time that day Shinji opened his eyes and misato´s face came into view.
"Great, you're back. You're stuck with me so don't do that again. Did you hit your head? What's the last thing you remember?"

"The devil"

"Luc, yeah. He is mostly harmless, with a twisted sense of humor, but harmless. And for the 'devil' part, that's his commercial name."

"Really?" Shinji said with a face that showed his confusion.

'Misato' sighed for the 20th time that day "I did mention this is a corporation, didn't I?" he nodded and she went on "Well, since you are going to be here for a while I better explain it. Your so-called 'devil' is a label. The dead are placed in either Heaven or Hell according on how they behaved when they were alive. Heaven is first class and Hell is middle class, or something like that. Inside each part there's a group of industries run by others that supply the population with items to make their "afterlife" more comfortable. It's similar to earth. Capitalism, marketing, everything is related. Luc and the old man own it and try to keep it balanced. For example, if "heaven" gets too crowded Luc shows up on earth, annoys some people, they do something stupid and Taddaaaa! They are in hell, consuming inferno products"

*Okay….I think this dream is getting waaay too complicated…..Why the hell couldn't my head come up with something simple?……like a beach or a peaceful green field*. Shinji thought

" I can hear what you're thinking, y´know. Can I give you an advice? Denial=Not healthy. This is not a dream and I'm not a figment of your imagination, so deal with it. Go crazy, weep, I don't care." She sarcastically said and then with a calm face explained, " You want simple facts? Ok. This whole 'Hell' and 'Heaven' affair is like a game. It's fun to see who gets more fans, Luc or Him. But it wasn't always like that. In the beginning they tried chess, but got bored later. Actually, Luc gave up; the old man took forever to make a move, literally. After that, they tried dices, but they weren't very lucky. I came up with the idea of Heaven and Hell. It's a little project of mine." She ended her monologue with an arrogant smirk.

"I see" He had decided to play along with his crazy subconscious, but when he saw her smug face, it reminded him of Asuka and it pissed him off. If he couldn't wipe the overconfident grin out of the real Asuka, he was going to rehearse with Misato´s wannabe. That way, next time, he would be ready to face the redhead "But you are not that important. I mean, no one knows that god has a secretary" He told her with an innocent face.

"I'm not a secretary; I'm a marketing manager!!" She snapped. Shinji started to reconsider the split personality theory; because in a second she was back with her cool expression " My duty is to make sure everything works fine. I run all this, even if It's not mine. The real owners are two irresponsible fools, who, as you already know, are not working today. Also the most critical part of my job consists in getting their asses out of trouble. I don't now how Luc and the old man do it, but I swear they're…." The phone once again interrupted her
"….always in some kind of trouble" she finished.

"Hello? Where are you? Yes, I'll pick you up. Stop yelling or you'll pop an artery!! Be there in 10 minutes."
"Alone He's an accident waiting to happen" She said to herself.

"Ok Shinji, you'll be tagging along. We are going to get the boss"

"Who is your boss? God?" He asked with a snort. Maybe annoying his mind wasn't such a bad idea.

"In theory…. yes. But don't call him that, it feeds his ego, and He knows he is full of himself. Ready?"

"Sure" *If God is Asuka I'm out of here* Shinji thought.