Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion is property of Gainax/TV Tokyo and Mr. Anno. Series distributed by ADV Films.
Notes: This fanfic does NOT intend to mock Catholic religion or any other beliefs.
If you want to be my pre-reader include your e-mail address in your review.
C&C obviously welcome.
Shinji will probably be OOC

*Shinji's thoughts*
=== Change of scene

======================="Heavens & Hell Inc."==================
=============Chapter3: Hold on tight, it's going to be a bumpy ride=======

Misato´s wannabe drove as bad as the original, neither had much respect for street signs.

- NO PARKING-

"So.. How do you like living on earth?" She asked Shinji as she started the car.

"It sucks"

"Why? Your life is not THAT bad…….." A folder appeared out of nowhere and she started to read.
"……If you leave out the part where your mother died,
your father left you, came back after several years to hire you to do the worst job
ever Or when you have to share an apartment with two strangers,
your perpetually PMS roommate mistreats you 24/7, your life is in constant danger and
you don't have the guts to stand up for yourself."
Seeing his depressed face she hastily added "It doesn't suck that much. If it makes you feel better, I've seen worse."

"You sure know how to cheer me up. "

"Don't get me wrong; I would like to help you, but we can't interfere in mortal lives unless it's business related.
To be honest I highly doubt you need help. You seem to possess an inner strength that I have rarely seen."

"Are you serious?"

-SHARP CURVE- The other cars tried to stay as far away as possible from 'Misato's car'
"Yes. You have more things to be grateful for than you realize. Except for that redhead you live with.
If I didn't know better I'd blame it on Luc. You haven't pissed him off lately, have you?"

"Not that I'm aware of"

"Man, I'm paranoid." Crazy people theory: 1 Shinji´s mental health: 0 "Never mind.
You have waaay too much patience with this Asuka. What's up with that girl anyway?
She is constantly bitching about this or that.
She is such a showoff, especially when she's drooling after your guardian's 'boyfriend'
or moping the floor with your self-esteem. You've got to teach her a lesson."

"How? I can't. No, no way. Sh…she…she'd kill me"

"Why are you stammering? What are you blushing about? No!! Please don't tell me you like her!!!"

-STOP-

Shinji felt it was his duty to warn 'Misato' about the sign before they crash into the nearest truck.
The woman, however, didn't look like she had, either, seen the -STOP- sign or was going to slow down anytime soon.

"Aren't you going to………

"……But you at least have friends; they respect you for what you do, even if you hate piloting.
Speaking of Nerv, you people have the best slogan ever, it really sells "

"..stop"

"…..'If god is in heaven, all is all right with the world' That's how it goes, right?
I don't remember it… I'm sorry, did you say something?"

"Nothing important"

While his entire life was passing before his eyes, Shinji came up with a plan:
If he could confuse his mind and make himself go round in circles inside his head, maybe the stupid dream would go away.
*Ok. It's time to bring in the artillery* "What about the Angels?"

"I can't stop that either because they're the boss's relatives. He told them to stop, but they act like spoiled brats."
And with a conspiratorial tone she whispered "Between us, I think Adam owes them some money. What can I say?
They're stubborn."
She shrugged.


The rest of the ride was silent and Shinji used it to ponder about his subconscious which had turned out to be a lot more
intricated than he gave it credit for.
A minute later 'Misato' exclaimed with an unsurprised face "Ah! There He is…….. walking in the wrong direction"

"Hey!" She yelled, "Need a ride old man?" Shinji let out a relieved sigh.
God didn't look like Asuka; he looked like….Fuyutsuki. Maybe the image of Asuka wouldn't have been so bad, he mused.
The man interrupted him.

"Don't call me that"

"Gee, the older you get, the crankier you are "

"Shut up!"

"Are you going to get in the car or what?? "

"You don't have to say it twice, my feet are killing me" He got into the car and she started the engine.

"Are you aware that you were walking away from the office instead of walking towards it?"

"I was doing it on purpose; I'm not as stupid as you may think. So…. Who's the guy?"

"There was a 'slight' problem with the computers while you were playing golf; I already talk to
the responsible sector and they promised me it'll be up and running in 20 minutes.
In the mean time Shinji will be staying with us."

"Uh! Ok… Do you have the admission papers?"

"The ones you had to sign yesterday?????"

"Yes….I forgot. Don't worry; I'll sign them as soon as we get to the office"
"At this speed we'll get there in no time" he whispered to Shinji.

"I heard that"

================================================================================