"The Words" – chapter 3

The stubbornness continues and misunderstandings ensue.

P.S. I love you. You readers are the greatest and I thrive on your feedback. Thanks.

Ryan woke the next morning and looked at the cell phone on the table by his bed. He willed it to ring. That was how Saturdays when he had a shift at the Lighthouse always began. Summer called and said 'hello' and told him what a pain in the ass it was that he had to work and she would adopt a long-suffering tone as she moaned that she would have to find SOMETHING to occupy her today; shopping, tanning, maybe even a trip to the spa with her stepmom – she was that bored.

He would remind her that she could probably get a waitress job at the Lighthouse if she really wanted something to do. Or that she could volunteer to teach underprivileged kids to read or do crafts with the residents of a retirement home. And she would remind him that there weren't any underprivileged kids in Newport and that all the old people retired to Palm Springs. He would laugh and tell her to quit bitching and enjoy her day, and she would tell him in a sarcastic voice to have a great day at work, but he would know she really meant it. Then he'd say, 'See you after.' And she'd say, 'Call me on your break.' And they'd both hang up.

He stared at the phone ... but it didn't ring.

Ryan threw back the covers, climbed out of bed and got ready for work.

The lunch crowd had died down by mid afternoon. On break, Ryan went up to the bar and asked Jimmy for a soda.

"How's Marissa," he asked as Jimmy handed him a tall glass of Sprite.

"Better. I went up to see her last weekend, and I think she seems to be doing better." He paused then sighed. "I guess." He looked at Ryan. "You know, it's so hard to tell. I thought she was all right before and then...."

Ryan nodded, still feeling guilty for Marissa's relapse even though he knew that it wasn't completely his fault. There was the Oliver disaster and the Luke and Julie debacle to factor in to her meltdown. But having Ryan choose her best friend over her certainly hadn't helped.

"How about you?" Ryan changed the subject, his tone light as he teased Jimmy, "Hailey still keeping you busy?"

"She is. I can't keep up with that girl." Jimmy lowered his voice confidingly. "She really makes me feel my age. About the time I'm ready to turn in for the night, she wants to go out clubbing. If I drop dead of a heart attack, you'll know why." As if abruptly realizing that sharing the issues in his love life with Ryan wasn't exactly appropriate, Jimmy asked, "So how's the soccer team this year?"

"About the same as last year," Ryan told him with a smile. "Barely mediocre."

"Well, as long as you're having fun out there. That's what it's all about," Jimmy said. "I'll have to try to make it to a match."

Ryan nodded and took a drink of his soda. He then sat quietly, toying with his glass, staring at the fizzing liquid and letting the quiet hum of voices in the bar wash over him.

"Is there something bothering you?" Jimmy asked after a bit. "You're pretty quiet today, even for you."

"No."

"Trouble with Summer?" he guessed.

Ryan shrugged. "No trouble. We're just ... taking a break for a while."

"Ah," Jimmy nodded in understanding. "The temporary hiatus."

Ryan looked up sharply. "It's not the same as breaking up," he found himself insisting, sounding like a sulky child.

"Of course." Jimmy washed and dried highball glasses as he talked. "But it hurts just as much, doesn't it?"

Ryan refused to answer and took another sip of his drink.

"I don't know if my advice counts for much considering my track record with women but, don't give up on Summer even if she's pushing you away," Jimmy counseled. "Don't assume that it's what she really means."

"You're telling me to stalk her?" Ryan asked, a tinge of bitter amusement in his voice.

"No. Of course not!" Jimmy backpedaled. "But press her for the truth. And, for God's sake, let her know how you feel. That's the big mistake I made with ... one of my old girlfriends. I assumed she knew how I felt. I never said anything and when I was finally ready to, it was too late."

"Mm," Ryan made an assenting sound but he doubted he'd follow Jimmy's advice any more than he intended to follow Kirsten's. In his experience, sharing your feelings only made things worse. Summer had said she needed space, so he would take her at her word.

"Hey," Seth said, coming up and seating himself on the bar stool next to Ryan. "What are we talking about?"

"About how Jimmy and your dad are going to fire you if you come in late again," Ryan responded irritably. "Nikki and I had to handle the lunch rush on our own, man."

"Sorry. I overslept."

"I don't mind coming in early to do set up, but when you're supposed to be here by twelve and there's only one other server besides me...."

"I know. I know. It won't happen again," Seth assured him.

Ryan shot him a skeptical look.

"Crap. Nikki's probably pissed at me too," Seth frowned.

"Yeah. Pretty much."

"Crap! I was going to ask her to go with us to that party tonight and now she probably won't go."

"Us?" Ryan asked. "I'm not going to any parties."

"Ryan, you have to! If I ask Nikki to go with me it sounds like I'm asking her on a date, but if I ask her to go with us it's just friends from work hanging out together. You're an integral part of the equation. You make it seem casual."

"Look, if you want to ask Nikki out just do it. I don't want to be your prop and I don't want to go to this party." Ryan thought it was highly unlikely that lovely, golden-haired Nikki would go out on a date with Seth. She shut him down at every opportunity – but maybe that was just foreplay, sometimes it was hard to tell with couples.

"Why don't you want to go?" Seth asked although it was clear he already knew the answer.

"I don't even like Whitney. And all the guys from my team will be there. I hate those guys. YOU hate those guys."

"Yeah, and I don't like Whitney either, but it's a party and a good excuse for me to take Nikki out without it seeming too obvious. Besides, won't Summer be there?"

Ryan scowled at him.

"Don't you want to see her? Come on, I know you do." Seth nudged his arm.

"Not really."

Just then Nikki entered the bar, a tray laden with dirty dishes balanced on one arm. She blew strands of her long blond hair from her face and frowned at the boys sitting on the bar stools. "A little help here! Were you guys planning on working any time soon? The dining room is getting busy again."

"Coming," Ryan answered, hopping off his seat and going to take the tray from her.

"Sorry about being late," Seth said. "I didn't mean to make you guys so much work."

"Yeah? Well you did," Nikki answered, as Seth trailed behind her into the other room. "Table six needs drinks. Table four's orders are up. Seven is deciding about desert," she snapped. "And don't think I'm sharing any of their tips with you."

"No. Of course not," Seth said then segued smoothly into his proposal. "Actually, Nikki, I really want to make it up to you for this afternoon. Why don't you let me and Ryan take you out this evening? There's this fantastic party...."

It was 2:10 in the afternoon when the phone rang and startled Summer out of a sound sleep. She seized it from her nightstand.

"Hello?" she said muzzily, wiping a hand across her bleary eyes.

"Girl, where the hell are you?" Amber's shrill voice pierced her ear. "Were you still sleeping?"

"No. I mean, yeah. Sort of."

"Did you forget we had and appointment at Fortuna's?"

Hearing it Summer remembered that she had promised to meet Amber for a manicure, facial, hair styling and lunch afterward at a new café.

"Oh, right. I'm sorry."

"Well, get your ass over here! I need to talk to you about Chad."

"I don't think I can."

"What do you mean, you can't? I NEED you. I'm going to give Chad an ultimatum tonight and I need you to tell me how it sounds."

"Tonight?" Summer stalled for time.

"Yeah, at Whitney's party. You did remember Whitney's birthday bash?"

"Oh. Of course. Um, I don't think I can go to that either," she mumbled.

"What's the matter with you?" Amber asked crossly. "Are you sick or something? You sound like crap."

"No. Nothing's wrong. I just don't...." Summer was humiliated when her voice broke. She gulped back a sob, surprised after last night that she had any tears left to spill. The last thing she wanted to do was lose it on the phone with Amber of all people so she shut her lips tight.

"Something IS wrong!" Amber finally figured out. "What happened? Is it Ryan?"

"No. ... Yes. We just decided to take a break is all and I'm a little ... upset," her voice wavered.

"He broke up with you!" Amber gasped. "When did this happen? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Day before yesterday," Summer answered, "and we're not broken up, just taking a break."

"Hah!" she burst out. "That's what they tell you when they want to see another girl and not be held responsible for it. Later he can always say 'But we were taking a break. I wasn't with you so I wasn't cheating on you.'"

Summer didn't bother to explain that she was the one who had chosen to spend time apart. "Well, anyway, I don't feel much like...."

"Oh no, sweetie! That's why you definitely need to get your butt over here and have a full treatment; massage, hair and nails, facial, everything. You're going to go to that party and look gorgeous and make him feel like the shit that he is for giving you up."

Summer sniffed. Being fussed over and pampered did sound like a better way to spend the day than lying around listening to suicide-inducing emo and watching Animal Planet with the sound muted.

"Okay," she said. "I'll be there in twenty."

Ryan had seen Summer dressed to impress more times than he could count. Living in Newport where the social whirl never ended, she often wore designer gowns and sparkling jewels to the events they attended. He had kind of gotten used to it. But seeing her now, when she was unattainable, he was struck anew by her beauty.

She was dressed in a simple white halter top and a blue skirt. The neckline of the halter showed off the rounded swell of lightly tanned cleavage and the skirt a long expanse of naked thigh. He saw her across the room talking and laughing with friends, and he felt such a rush of desire he wanted to walk over, grab her arm, toss her up against the wall and take her right there in the middle of the party.

It had been two whole days since they agreed to take a break and he had neither seen nor talked to Summer. He missed hearing her voice. He missed touching her skin. He simply missed HER. If it was this bad after only two days without her, how was it going to be after four days or a week or a month? He didn't know if he could take it.

He sipped his beer and pretended to listen to Seth and Nikki banter, but from the corners of his eyes he kept stealing glances over at Summer. He couldn't help it. She looked really happy, more carefree and bubbly than he had seen her in weeks. Just as he thought it, she threw her head back, laughing at something Chad had said. Whitney came up to the group and Summer gave her a hug and an air kiss, obviously wishing her a happy birthday. Then Eric said something and the whole group burst out laughing again. Ryan wanted to punch all of their carefree, joyous faces.

Summer was beautiful and happy and it was quite clear that she didn't miss Ryan in the least. He could feel himself scowling and tried to shake it off.

"Hey," he heard a voice at his left and felt a soft touch on his forearm.

He turned and saw a freshman girl he vaguely remembered seeing around school, Heather Something. She was petite and fine boned with wide eyes, rather like Marissa if she were two feet shorter. The girl nervously pushed the perfectly straight, light brown hair, which fell practically to her waist, out of her eyes and smiled shyly at him. "I'm Heather," she clarified.

"Hi," he answered politely. "Ryan."

"Yeah. I know," she answered quickly then blushed. She waved a hand distractedly and added in an embarrassed rush of words, "I mean, I've wanted to talk to you for a long time, but I knew you were seeing, um, Summer and it didn't seem.... But now I heard you guys broke up so...."

Ryan was amazed. They were separated for two days and the whole school knew about it? The news hadn't spread from him, so clearly Summer had made some kind of general announcement that burned through the grapevine like a wildfire. Nothing like making it official.

"Oh," he answered the freshman.

"So, I wondered if maybe you wanted to...." she gestured toward several people who were actually dancing to the pulsing techno beat which was giving Ryan a headache, "Or else we could just take a walk on the beach ... if you wanted to talk or something."

By the final words, her voice was so soft Ryan had to incline his head to hear her

"Oh," he said again. "I, uh...." He didn't know what to answer. He felt sorry for the girl. It had obviously cost her a lot to approach him and ask for his attention, and he had to admit it was flattering to realize that she had been crushing on him from afar, but there was no way he wanted to encourage Heather or to make the effort of conversation. "I'm not.... I...." He shook his head helplessly.

Heather nodded, her face falling in disappointment. "Oh, sure. I understand," she answered quickly. "That's.... Of course," she stammered and backed a step away from him. Unfortunately, she tripped on the edge of a throw rug and stumbled. Ryan reached out a hand to take her arm and steady her. The poor girl blushed bright pink as she regained her balance.

He smiled, trying to alleviate her painful nervousness. "You okay?"

She nodded vigorously. "Yes. I just feel like...." she drew a deep breath and let it out shakily. "I'm such an idiot!" Tears glistened in her eyes and Ryan ached for her.

"Hey. It's okay," he assured her with another warm smile. "I'm flattered you asked, but right now...."

But it was too late. Already a single tear and then another spilled down her cheek. "God. I'm so embarrassed," she moaned. She tilted her head so that her long hair shielded her tear stained face from prying eyes.

"Um, do you need to get out of here?" Ryan asked helpfully. "We could...." he gestured at the door leading out to the patio.

She nodded mutely and he gently took her elbow again and led her from the room.

(Simultaneously)

Summer's face ached from smiling. She wondered if it were possible to have your face freeze into that position like the Joker's in that old Batman movie simply from smiling too much. She leaned in toward Chad as if to catch whatever lame joke he was telling now and then burst into a gale of laughter at the appropriate time without catching one word of what he had said. But her eyes darted sideways to catch another glimpse of Ryan, Seth and some blonde girl, who were standing together and talking on the other side of the room.

Ryan looked good tonight. Really good. Funny thing was, he wasn't wearing anything special, just jeans and a long sleeved T with a dark blue, short- sleeved shirt thrown over the top. It wasn't even one of the newer shirts she had bought him the last time she dragged him to the mall. It was a shirt she knew from examining up close and personal had a frayed collar and two missing buttons. And she knew specifically which buttons they were because she was the cause of them popping off. She remembered the afternoon she had attacked Ryan and ripped his shirt open and ... everything that had happened after. Summer felt herself flush with instant, spontaneous desire and a dull ache blossomed between her thighs.

"Hey, girl." Summer jumped at Whitney's loud voice. The birthday girl, wearing a silver, glittery crown which proclaimed she was a 'Birthday Babe,' came up to the group. She embraced Summer and they pressed cheeks. "I heard all about it," she whispered, pulling back from the hug to bestow an empathetic frown. "He's a lowlife jerk and you're better off without him. " Whitney counseled, "I mean, sure he's kind of hot, but honestly, is he really the type of guy you want to...."

"Happy Birthday," Summer exclaimed over-loudly, cutting across Whitney's diatribe. "Let's not talk about me and Ryan, okay? It's your birthday and tonight's all about YOU!" She smiled fiercely and gave Whitney a one-armed hug around the shoulders then she inevitably glanced toward Ryan again and froze for a second at what she saw.

He was leaning down to listen to a girl, a delicate-blossom kind of a girl like Marissa, with big, expressive eyes and absolutely, shampoo-commercial- perfect hair. Summer watched Ryan grab the girl by the arm to steady her when she tripped. The bitch was obviously drunk and could hardly keep her balance.

"Summer, are you even listening?" Amber snapped her fingers in front of her eyes and stepped into Summer's line of vision then leaned in close and hissed in her ear. "For god's sake stop looking at him! Don't be so needy!"

"Wha...?" Summer was momentarily distracted but couldn't stop herself from stealing another peek at the tableau across the room. Seth was chattering animatedly complete with numerous hand gestures to that blond chick, and Ryan was leaning in even closer to the little fawnlike girl. Summer decided the ho' was probably named Bambi and had the IQ of a stick. He was taking her arm again and now he was walking with her toward the doors that led to the patio.

Summer felt an internal gasp but she betrayed no sign of it. She felt her jaw muscles clench and release as she pictured herself running over the elfin waif with her jeep – numerous times. But she turned back to Whitney and Amber, Chad, Mike and Carl and she turned on her biggest wattage smile. As far as everyone at this party knew, she was having the best time of her life.

Summer smiled and smiled and smiled.

To be continued....