Disclaimer - You know the drill. You don't seriously think I created Harry Potter, do you? Give me a break, I'm not that smart. No, these characters are the sole property of J. Rowling and a number of publishing companies.
A/N - A lot of my reviews said the same things: 1) Raymond sucks and 2) Sirius should come to the rescue. I think you will be satisfied with the ending, but it's not going to be that simple. Cliché city.
Mandie Yuy - appreciate the add. Couldn't totally read the rest of your comment though g Camlost - Yeah, Ray's a jerk. What'll happen next, oooh! Sorry about the short chapters, it's the price you pay for nightly updates.
meheeners - Hey thanks, what a nice compliment! I'm glad you're enjoying it.
Animagus Brushtail - Don't worry, what kind of best friend would he be if he didn't save the day? But will Remus be okay when he gets there?
HappyDappyDrunk - Maybe you'll be happier with the twist in this chapter? I had you in mind.
Lillei - It's probably a four- or five-chapter story. So just think, by Friday you WILL know what happens!
Versipellis - Well sure, but then I wouldn't be able to keep writing the story, and you don't want THAT.
Ryua Malfoy - Agreed!
SP-in-Sirius-Denial - Sirius may have his own problems!
AffectedMangoO - Hold Me Keep Me only has 7 chapters. I don't know why it says 8. I noticed that too…but don't worry, you've read the whole thing.
-Leaf
ANOTHER WORD FOR YOU
Sirius sat grumpily on his bed in the Gryffindor fifth-years' dormitory, flinging a rubber ball at the wall over and over.
WHACK! The ball rebounded against the stone. Sirius' arm moved automatically to snag it and send it shooting back at the wall. He was furious with Remus for leaving, for taking off with this strange woman just because technically she was his mother. As far as Sirius was concerned, parenthood didn't count for shit if you hadn't earned the respect of your children.
WHACK! Now his friend James' mum…she was a good parent, Sirius thought. She cared about James, she was there for him, and for all the complaining he did, Sirius could tell James loved her. Mrs. Potter was a decent person.
Sirius considered his own mother, catching the ball and holding it still. How angry she'd been the day he'd got sorted. The howler had arrived the next day… "A SON OF MINE, IN GRYFFINDOR?" she'd bellowed, much to the delight of his elder cousin Bella. The Blacks had been sorted into Slytherin house practically since Hogwarts had been founded. She'd even come in to see Dumbledore and demand that Sirius be removed from Gryffindor and placed in Slytherin, "where he belonged." Dumbledore had refused, and Sirius had been secretly glad. Let someone else uphold the family honor.
WHACK! He pitched the ball again. Ever since then, his mother had all but ignored him. She no longer laid a plate for him at dinner. If he wanted to eat, he had to scavenge or cook something for himself. When his younger brother Regulus had started school, he'd gotten all new things, but Sirius hadn't had a new set of robes since he was eleven. He'd been sharing books with James, Remus, and Peter since his second year, as his parents refused to buy them.
And now Remus, his best friend, who he loved more than anything or anyone else, had taken off in search of some stinking family. When anyone could see a family wasn't worth finding. Even on the off-chance Remus' was a good one, like James', what was the point? Remus had gone ten years without the interference of family. Why did he need them now?
WHACK!
It's just because now's when they contacted him, Sirius thought bitterly. Which was weird enough to merit investigation, in his opinion. Why now? Remus had been at Hogwarts for five years now, why hadn't his parents tried to contact him before now?
It can't be just because they thought he was dead, Sirius reasoned to himself. Why would they look for him all of a sudden after having assumed he was dead for five years? It doesn't make sense.
Sirius stood and paced. This was crazy. He was being ridiculous. Remus was fine, having a very happy holiday with his new family no doubt. I'm just jealous, Sirius told himself firmly. I'm lonely, and I'm used to having him here over holidays. I should be happy for him.
Determined, he whipped out a piece of parchment. He'd apologize, he'd tell Remus he'd been wrong to question his new family, and he'd ask his friend to forgive him.
Besides, a letter from Remus would break up the monotony. Sirius was getting bored of watching Frank study.
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Remus awoke groggily. The full moon was over, and as he rose to consciousness he became aware that he was no longer chained to the floor, but tucked into bed. Raymond sat beside him quietly, eyeglasses removed, head in his hands.
Memory came rushing back to Remus, and he tried to scramble up. It hurt to move, and he tried desperately to stifle a cry. Raymond's head jerked up.
Remus met his father's eyes. Raymond looked wretched. Had he been sitting here all night?
"Remus…" the man croaked. Remus stared at him, frightened. "Remus, forgive me…"
Whatever he'd expected, it wasn't this. "What?" His jaw had been healed…
"I'm sorry," Raymond whispered, not looking at his son. "I'm so sorry…I was drunk, and I didn't know what to do…"
"So you decided to kick the shit out of me?" Horrified at his own daring, Remus eased himself up into a sitting position and took in the way his body responded. He felt weak and exhausted as he always did after the full moon, and he suspected he would find his torso a cacophony of bruises, but other than that he seemed to be unhurt. What was going on here?
"Remus…" Raymond tried to take the boy's hand, but Remus pulled away sharply. "Remus, I was so afraid…you can't understand, the way that werewolf ruined our lives…"
"No," said Remus icily, "I suppose I wouldn't know anything about having your life ruined by lycanthropy, would I?"
"Remus, please!" The man was begging now; he had tears in his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Remus, I have no excuse." He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "I was afraid, Remus, and I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to handle it, and I was so afraid of what might happen. I just wasn't prepared. Please give me another chance."
Remus' head was spinning. Raymond had seemed nice enough when they'd first met; two nights ago he'd been sure the man was going to kill him. Now he was here, apologizing, begging forgiveness, and Remus felt sympathy worming its way through him. "I…I should have warned you it'd be the full moon…"
"I should have thought to look," Raymond said. "We were just so excited to have you home at last, Remus, and I was a bit nervous so I had a drink on the way home from work…" He groaned. "I'm so, so sorry, it's unforgivable what I did to you."
Remus laid a hand on Raymond's arm. "I do forgive you, though."
But something still didn't feel right. Could he really just forgive this man, this monster who'd beaten him nearly to death just a few nights ago? Could he let such a thing go, write it off to confusion and fear? Was it acceptable?
Would I have done the same in his position?
Raymond was crying openly now, and he embraced his son. Awkwardly, Remus hugged him back. "Never again, Remus, I promise, I swear."
And Remus thought, this man is my father. My family. You only get one chance at a family, and I've got to make this work. I do accept it, I do forgive it, because when I first knew what I was I wanted to do the same to myself. I have felt this response in my own soul; how can I fault it in someone else?
He looked up into his father's eyes and smiled. "How about breakfast?"
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The brown owl returned to Sirius' window later that night, bearing a large white envelope. Relieved, Sirius tore open the letter. No doubt Remus would be bubbling with excitement, eager to tell Sirius all about the Christmas holiday his parents had planned for him. He would want to share every detail, Sirius knew, from the color of the walls in his new bedroom to what they were having for dinner each night. Remus was like that.
But the letter was not from Remus. Sirius' hand shook as he read it, carefully, three times through to ensure he had not made a mistake. The parchment slipped from his hand and wafted gently to the floor.
The pain hit suddenly, sharply, and it terrified Sirius. He felt suddenly too large for his body, as though his soul had grown to the size of the castle itself, and ever ounce of it was awash in horror. He couldn't take it, it was too much, and he found himself running as hard as he could as though he could somehow escape the reach of this.
He made it outside and halfway down to the lake before he collapsed, his body unable to remain upright. Maybe he screamed, he wasn't sure. As the world spun out of control, Sirius clung to the grass and retched, his mouth open in one long, horrible, painful howl.
Professor Dumbledore heard the screams from his office and came bursting out on to the lawn. Sirius Black was doubled over on the grass, screaming and sobbing and rocking himself back and forth madly. Dumbledore hurried to him, and Sirius jumped to his feet with a cry.
"NO!" He screamed at Dumbledore. "You…your fault…get away!" Sirius made as if to run away from the headmaster, but he collided with the giant form of Rubeus Hagrid. Hagrid's arms tightened around the boy, and he struggled, but the gamekeeper simply held him tighter. Dumbledore nodded his appreciation as Sirius thrashed and bucked in Hagrid's arms, gasping and sobbing.
"Hospital wing," Dumbledore directed, and Hagrid lifted Sirius easily. Together they made their way to the hospital wing, Sirius screaming all the way.
Madam Pomfrey had clearly heard them coming. "What is the meaning of this?"
"The same question we'd like answered, Poppy," Dumbledore said calmly. "Perhaps you would sedate Mr. Black here while I search his dormitory?"
Hagrid held Sirius down while Madam Pomfrey administered the injection. Sirius stopped thrashing and crying, his eyelids drooped. After a few minutes, Dumbledore returned, looking pale.
"Headmaster?" Madam Pomfrey touched his arm. "What is it?"
Dumbledore handed her a bit of parchment. "I found it in his room," he said softly.
--Dear Mr. Black,
Regarding your friend Remus Lupin, I feel obligated to inform you that he passed away last night. As you know, he transforms with the full moon, and last night he did himself a serious injury. The healers were unable to save him. His mother and I are not accepting any communication at this time.
Regards, Raymond Lupin--
A/N - No he's not really dead! Give me some credit. We KNOW he's alive, because Raymond talked to him after the transformation. But why is he telling Sirius this stuff? It's a mystery…
A/N - A lot of my reviews said the same things: 1) Raymond sucks and 2) Sirius should come to the rescue. I think you will be satisfied with the ending, but it's not going to be that simple. Cliché city.
Mandie Yuy - appreciate the add. Couldn't totally read the rest of your comment though g Camlost - Yeah, Ray's a jerk. What'll happen next, oooh! Sorry about the short chapters, it's the price you pay for nightly updates.
meheeners - Hey thanks, what a nice compliment! I'm glad you're enjoying it.
Animagus Brushtail - Don't worry, what kind of best friend would he be if he didn't save the day? But will Remus be okay when he gets there?
HappyDappyDrunk - Maybe you'll be happier with the twist in this chapter? I had you in mind.
Lillei - It's probably a four- or five-chapter story. So just think, by Friday you WILL know what happens!
Versipellis - Well sure, but then I wouldn't be able to keep writing the story, and you don't want THAT.
Ryua Malfoy - Agreed!
SP-in-Sirius-Denial - Sirius may have his own problems!
AffectedMangoO - Hold Me Keep Me only has 7 chapters. I don't know why it says 8. I noticed that too…but don't worry, you've read the whole thing.
-Leaf
ANOTHER WORD FOR YOU
Sirius sat grumpily on his bed in the Gryffindor fifth-years' dormitory, flinging a rubber ball at the wall over and over.
WHACK! The ball rebounded against the stone. Sirius' arm moved automatically to snag it and send it shooting back at the wall. He was furious with Remus for leaving, for taking off with this strange woman just because technically she was his mother. As far as Sirius was concerned, parenthood didn't count for shit if you hadn't earned the respect of your children.
WHACK! Now his friend James' mum…she was a good parent, Sirius thought. She cared about James, she was there for him, and for all the complaining he did, Sirius could tell James loved her. Mrs. Potter was a decent person.
Sirius considered his own mother, catching the ball and holding it still. How angry she'd been the day he'd got sorted. The howler had arrived the next day… "A SON OF MINE, IN GRYFFINDOR?" she'd bellowed, much to the delight of his elder cousin Bella. The Blacks had been sorted into Slytherin house practically since Hogwarts had been founded. She'd even come in to see Dumbledore and demand that Sirius be removed from Gryffindor and placed in Slytherin, "where he belonged." Dumbledore had refused, and Sirius had been secretly glad. Let someone else uphold the family honor.
WHACK! He pitched the ball again. Ever since then, his mother had all but ignored him. She no longer laid a plate for him at dinner. If he wanted to eat, he had to scavenge or cook something for himself. When his younger brother Regulus had started school, he'd gotten all new things, but Sirius hadn't had a new set of robes since he was eleven. He'd been sharing books with James, Remus, and Peter since his second year, as his parents refused to buy them.
And now Remus, his best friend, who he loved more than anything or anyone else, had taken off in search of some stinking family. When anyone could see a family wasn't worth finding. Even on the off-chance Remus' was a good one, like James', what was the point? Remus had gone ten years without the interference of family. Why did he need them now?
WHACK!
It's just because now's when they contacted him, Sirius thought bitterly. Which was weird enough to merit investigation, in his opinion. Why now? Remus had been at Hogwarts for five years now, why hadn't his parents tried to contact him before now?
It can't be just because they thought he was dead, Sirius reasoned to himself. Why would they look for him all of a sudden after having assumed he was dead for five years? It doesn't make sense.
Sirius stood and paced. This was crazy. He was being ridiculous. Remus was fine, having a very happy holiday with his new family no doubt. I'm just jealous, Sirius told himself firmly. I'm lonely, and I'm used to having him here over holidays. I should be happy for him.
Determined, he whipped out a piece of parchment. He'd apologize, he'd tell Remus he'd been wrong to question his new family, and he'd ask his friend to forgive him.
Besides, a letter from Remus would break up the monotony. Sirius was getting bored of watching Frank study.
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Remus awoke groggily. The full moon was over, and as he rose to consciousness he became aware that he was no longer chained to the floor, but tucked into bed. Raymond sat beside him quietly, eyeglasses removed, head in his hands.
Memory came rushing back to Remus, and he tried to scramble up. It hurt to move, and he tried desperately to stifle a cry. Raymond's head jerked up.
Remus met his father's eyes. Raymond looked wretched. Had he been sitting here all night?
"Remus…" the man croaked. Remus stared at him, frightened. "Remus, forgive me…"
Whatever he'd expected, it wasn't this. "What?" His jaw had been healed…
"I'm sorry," Raymond whispered, not looking at his son. "I'm so sorry…I was drunk, and I didn't know what to do…"
"So you decided to kick the shit out of me?" Horrified at his own daring, Remus eased himself up into a sitting position and took in the way his body responded. He felt weak and exhausted as he always did after the full moon, and he suspected he would find his torso a cacophony of bruises, but other than that he seemed to be unhurt. What was going on here?
"Remus…" Raymond tried to take the boy's hand, but Remus pulled away sharply. "Remus, I was so afraid…you can't understand, the way that werewolf ruined our lives…"
"No," said Remus icily, "I suppose I wouldn't know anything about having your life ruined by lycanthropy, would I?"
"Remus, please!" The man was begging now; he had tears in his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Remus, I have no excuse." He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "I was afraid, Remus, and I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to handle it, and I was so afraid of what might happen. I just wasn't prepared. Please give me another chance."
Remus' head was spinning. Raymond had seemed nice enough when they'd first met; two nights ago he'd been sure the man was going to kill him. Now he was here, apologizing, begging forgiveness, and Remus felt sympathy worming its way through him. "I…I should have warned you it'd be the full moon…"
"I should have thought to look," Raymond said. "We were just so excited to have you home at last, Remus, and I was a bit nervous so I had a drink on the way home from work…" He groaned. "I'm so, so sorry, it's unforgivable what I did to you."
Remus laid a hand on Raymond's arm. "I do forgive you, though."
But something still didn't feel right. Could he really just forgive this man, this monster who'd beaten him nearly to death just a few nights ago? Could he let such a thing go, write it off to confusion and fear? Was it acceptable?
Would I have done the same in his position?
Raymond was crying openly now, and he embraced his son. Awkwardly, Remus hugged him back. "Never again, Remus, I promise, I swear."
And Remus thought, this man is my father. My family. You only get one chance at a family, and I've got to make this work. I do accept it, I do forgive it, because when I first knew what I was I wanted to do the same to myself. I have felt this response in my own soul; how can I fault it in someone else?
He looked up into his father's eyes and smiled. "How about breakfast?"
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The brown owl returned to Sirius' window later that night, bearing a large white envelope. Relieved, Sirius tore open the letter. No doubt Remus would be bubbling with excitement, eager to tell Sirius all about the Christmas holiday his parents had planned for him. He would want to share every detail, Sirius knew, from the color of the walls in his new bedroom to what they were having for dinner each night. Remus was like that.
But the letter was not from Remus. Sirius' hand shook as he read it, carefully, three times through to ensure he had not made a mistake. The parchment slipped from his hand and wafted gently to the floor.
The pain hit suddenly, sharply, and it terrified Sirius. He felt suddenly too large for his body, as though his soul had grown to the size of the castle itself, and ever ounce of it was awash in horror. He couldn't take it, it was too much, and he found himself running as hard as he could as though he could somehow escape the reach of this.
He made it outside and halfway down to the lake before he collapsed, his body unable to remain upright. Maybe he screamed, he wasn't sure. As the world spun out of control, Sirius clung to the grass and retched, his mouth open in one long, horrible, painful howl.
Professor Dumbledore heard the screams from his office and came bursting out on to the lawn. Sirius Black was doubled over on the grass, screaming and sobbing and rocking himself back and forth madly. Dumbledore hurried to him, and Sirius jumped to his feet with a cry.
"NO!" He screamed at Dumbledore. "You…your fault…get away!" Sirius made as if to run away from the headmaster, but he collided with the giant form of Rubeus Hagrid. Hagrid's arms tightened around the boy, and he struggled, but the gamekeeper simply held him tighter. Dumbledore nodded his appreciation as Sirius thrashed and bucked in Hagrid's arms, gasping and sobbing.
"Hospital wing," Dumbledore directed, and Hagrid lifted Sirius easily. Together they made their way to the hospital wing, Sirius screaming all the way.
Madam Pomfrey had clearly heard them coming. "What is the meaning of this?"
"The same question we'd like answered, Poppy," Dumbledore said calmly. "Perhaps you would sedate Mr. Black here while I search his dormitory?"
Hagrid held Sirius down while Madam Pomfrey administered the injection. Sirius stopped thrashing and crying, his eyelids drooped. After a few minutes, Dumbledore returned, looking pale.
"Headmaster?" Madam Pomfrey touched his arm. "What is it?"
Dumbledore handed her a bit of parchment. "I found it in his room," he said softly.
--Dear Mr. Black,
Regarding your friend Remus Lupin, I feel obligated to inform you that he passed away last night. As you know, he transforms with the full moon, and last night he did himself a serious injury. The healers were unable to save him. His mother and I are not accepting any communication at this time.
Regards, Raymond Lupin--
A/N - No he's not really dead! Give me some credit. We KNOW he's alive, because Raymond talked to him after the transformation. But why is he telling Sirius this stuff? It's a mystery…