CRAZY LUNATIC EXPERIMENTS ~RUPERT ROCKS
Summary: Hermione's aunt has been called to Hogwarts as she needs lots of children to be her 'guinea pigs' and of course, only Dumbledore is nice enough to let someone experiment with his students . . .
HERMIONE'S POV, BUT NARRATED BY ME ~ THE AUTHOR!!!! SORRY UPDATE TOOK TOO LONG, BEEN BUSY DUDES!!!!
MY LOVELY THANKS TO:
*Some12 ~ Thanks so much for the review, it was very nice, as for the 'Pansy-using-Blaise' thing, I'll consider it, but I'm not making any promises, there are so many ideas floating in my brainless head that I can't possibly fit them all into one fic!!!! The Serena thing seems like a really good idea though, so if I remember it when I'm typing, I'll put it in!!! Oh and by the way, what's guidance concolour?
**Harryforeva ~ Aw!!! That is so nice of you!!!!! It really is!!!!! Have a cookie, they're all I've got to give!!! And the chapter of course!! Anyway, not everyone's reviewing, but I get what you mean!!! Here's the next chapter, and thanks so much!!!
***Plaidly Lush ~ Thank you first for reviewing, and second for telling me of my stupid mistake. I didn't look 'Zabini' up because I trust you (sorry if I make the same mistake again, I'm forgetful enough to do so). Might I say that you seem like you know your Harry Potter stuff, cus' most people don't even notice the 'Zambini/Zabini' thing and lots of my other mistakes too!!!! Thanks also for telling me which one you prefer out of Tom, Dan and Rupert!! Oh and I hope you did enjoy the last chapter, because you sounded really pissed off, (because of "e: I can't take this: end quote, and the sigh at the end, which to me, seems like the kind of thing you would say/do if you were feeling slightly stressed) and I really hope that it wasn't my chapter that made you feel that (although I don't think a chapter would really be important enough to piss anyone off, but you never know). Anyway, I hope that if you were feeling miffed, that you're feeling better!!!!
****Klee_babe ~ aren't cookies just the most brilliant thing ever invented? No, the Internet and chocolate is!!!! Yay!!! I hope this is a right laugh, and of course Hermione was paired with Draco? Who else would they suit better? Lol thanks so much for reviewing again and here is more!!!!
*****Burgundyred ~ Lol, go Tom, I like Rupert, and Tom and Dan, I simply can't decide which one is better!! And for the punctuation thing, yes, I love '!' and '?' because they are so fun to overuse, plus, this is a stupid fic, so you need lots of them to make it all the more annoying!!! I am sorry I am not willing to stop this annoying habit of overusing punctuation because in Butt Big, someone told me to stop using them too much, so I have tried, and if I have to do the same with THIS fic, I would die. The experiments have not yet started in this chapter, but shall very soon; next chapter I have decided is an in-betweeny chapter!!! So, you shall have to wait a while for the 'proper' torture and fun to begin . . . MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
******luza ~ Thanks! I'm glad it seems like it's really good, but I don't want it to be portrayed too well, in case anyone continues to read it and gets disappointed :D hopefully no one will!!
*******Happigolucki ~ I'm glad you liked it, and I CHOOSE RUPERT TOO!! I also think he's such a sweetheart, I don't know why but I think he's so . . . I don't know the word for it! But I like Dan too . . . but Rupert definitely comes first! Here's the next chapter, enjoy!
********Fluff ~ were you the one who asked for another annoying nickname for Draco? I can't remember, but Coco was the first thing that came to mind!! And it was definitely mortifying enough, I'm sure you'll agree ;D, I like Daniel Radcliffe, I think he is soooooooooo cute! I prefer Rupert because Rupert's just . . . you know, RUPERT so I like both, and I like Tom too, but you know, he gets so many fans . . . lol, I really hope you enjoy this, and if you have any more annoying nicknames for Draco, please do tell!!
*********Starlightz6 ~ I'm glad you agree with the whole make up overdone thing, and I thank you so much for wracking your brains to try and think up some suggestions, that is so nice! Originality seems to be something I'm good at **wink** I could picture Dumbledore saying VA VA VOOM too, that's why I put it I guess, lol, typical headmaster thing . . . I kind of knew you'd choose Tom ;D, Sean Biggerstaff I'm not so sure about, he plays Wood doesn't he?
**********Smileyface1314 ~ Thanks so much for reviewing, and don't worry I will continue to review your fic, I am so happy you think this is remotely funny!! And you're considering changing it to Hermione/Draco? THAT WOULD BE SO COOL, not that it's not good now, but you know . . . anyway, thanks so much again, tata!! And enjoy!
NO SPOILERS HERE.
CHAPTER THREE: Accommodations and the beginning of the torture.
DISCLAIMER: As usual, I own nothing, just like everyone else on fanfiction.net. I mean, seriously, do you think, any good author that can get there work published into a book that can be put on sale in bookshops all over the world, would really prefer to put up their stories on this website?? I don't think so and neither should you, otherwise you really have some mental problems.
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"Now Hermione dear, aren't you glad that that nice hat put you with Mr Malfoy honey?"
"Yeah, it's like a dream come true." Hermione said as she sulked along next to her Aunt and Draco. Her voice dripped with sarcasm as her aunt shook her head at her (Serena was up ahead, leading the line).
"Now, now dear!!! That's not any way to speak to your Auntie now is it?? And honey, I know you have a very . . . interesting, history with - what was your name again dear?"
"It's Draco."
"Yes, that's it, Draco, but he's your new roommate, and do try to remember that you're not exactly an easy person to be friends with either Hermione."
Hermione responded with a grunt. The line came to a halt, and Dr. Granger hurried back to the front of the line as quickly as she could. They were all crowded in front of a large muggle portrait - one of the few that didn't move in the school.
The background was a picture of a battlefield, dead bodies lay behind the magnificent gold lion, and rotting trees were scattered everywhere, their leaves lay lifeless on the cracked red ground. The sky was all different shades, and the sun's colours shone purple in the sunset. Along the horizon, a large black bird could be seen - a raven - flying high in the sky like it hadn't a care in the world, and along the back next to a fallen tree, an injured badger was breathing his last breath as he lay over a pool of blood. As Hermione neared the portrait, a small green snake could be seen slithering up to the lion, its split tongue sticking out of it's mouth violently. She wanted to stop and take a closer look at this masterpiece but, of course, she needed to enter the portrait hole.
She and Draco stepped slowly through and saw a long corridor filled with tall oak doors from their right and left. The carpet was a rich red, lined with royal purple, and in the centre of the carpet, all along the corridor, was the Hogwarts symbol with the school motto written underneath it. Brilliant glass chandeliers lighted the whole area with their sparkling white light, and each door had a crystal handle built into it which made the whole thing look magnificent. They knew that one of these rooms were theirs, as all the pairs of students were slowly disappearing through the doors.
"HERMIONE HONEY!!!!!!!!" Dr Granger shouted from above all the heads of the waiting students. Hermione groaned inwardly and rolled her eyes. "Your room is over here sweety!!! Yours and Draco's room I mean!!!!!!!!!"
Hermione slowly made her way past all the students in her year, stopping to apologise for treading on their feet, and stopping to glare at them for calling her a 'aunty's girl'. Draco, however, made his way easily to the front, as he fought back his urge to laugh at the poor girl.
On the oak door, engraved into it, was the words: 'MISS HERMIONE GRANGER & MR DRACO MALFOY.' Written in golden swirling letters. They were both given keys (Draco's emerald, and Hermione red) and just as they were about to enter, Dr Granger decided to speak to her little niece.
"Oh, and before we go dear, we decided to put some people next to you that might suit you, so Draco honey, the door to your left is Gregory Goyle's and Millicent Bulstrode's room, and to your right Hermione dear, is - well actually, you can choose." Her aunt stepped aside to reveal Harry, Padma, Ron and Lisa Turpin (a Ravenclaw).
"We don't mind who you pick 'Mione!!!" Ron grinned at her. He then turned to Draco and scowled.
"Yeah, if you pick me, Ron will be in the room straight next to mine, so it's easy for you to come and chat to Ron and me!!!" Harry nodded and smiled at Hermione as she racked her brains. 'Padma seems a more sensible option, as Parvati's her sister and a Gryffindor.'
"Harry and Padma please." Hermione said, as Serena went over to the next oak door and tapped her wand against it, their names appeared on the door in the same kind f swirly gold lettering.
"See ya tomorrow morning 'Mione!!!" Harry and Ron both said, as they entered their rooms. Hermione slowly opened her door (she didn't need to unlock it as Draco had already gone in) and stepped inside.
(Was going to end it here, but thought, nah!!! That's soooo mean!!!! So I didn't!!! Enjoy the rest!!)
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Inside the room, it was magnificent, more so than the outside of the room. There was a giant glass chandelier in the middle, although Hermione did not see why you needed it, as the entire wall in front of Hermione was made of glass (some sections you could see were apart from the rest of the glass wall, probably because you could open them, like a window). The sight was splendid, a brilliant view of Hogwarts own lake, it sparkled dark blue in the light of the night sky, and the moon and stars glittered in their reflection. Her mouth hung open at the wonderful sight.
"Lovely isn't it Granger? And look." Draco lay on his bed lazily, he clapped his hands and red curtains (like the ones on a theatre stage) flowed out of nowhere (that she could see anyway) and covered the entire glass wall. Now she could see how bright the chandelier was. "See mudblood? Clap your hands twice and the curtains come down. Clap your hands once and the chandelier switches itself off."
"Hmm . . ." Hermione murmured as she caught sight of her bed. It was a lovely rose red, and on the duvet cover was the outline of a rose in gold thread. She slowly walked over and started to trace it with her fingers. Her and Draco's trunks had been brought up already and they lay at the foot of their beds.
"Your beds rather girly if you ask me. Look at mine." Draco jumped off the bed and gestured towards it. It was green (like you wouldn't have guessed) and on it was a picture of a Chinese dragon, also sewed on with gold thread. The entire four-poster was green, as was Hermione's except it was red, except for the gold. It looked very comfortable and soft.
"Whatever Malfoy, you're just jealous."
"Me? Jealous? Of you of all people? HA!!! A likely story."
Hermione sat on her bed, and took her shoes and socks off. She lay them carefully inside her trunk - unaware that Draco was watching her every move. The carpet felt soft under her toes, like one of her cuddly toys that she had with her in her trunk. She tread on the soft carpet and over to her trunk. Draco watched her rummage around, until she pulled out two toys.
"What are they mudblood?"
"Haven't you ever had a stuffed toy before?"
"Why would I have such a babyish thing?"
"They are not babyish!!! Okay, maybe they are, but they're lovely!!!! Look!!!" She threw one over to him and he caught it. The one the remained in her hand was a beanie baby, a fluffy, pink, bunny beanie baby. Its long ears flopped down over its eyes and its fluffy tail felt like cotton wool. The one she had thrown over to Draco, was a soft wool stuffed bear, with a small woolly jumper on that read 'Love is a gift, cherish it forever and always.' Draco was now examining the bear with greatest curiosity.
Draco chucked it back over to Hermione. "Lovely Granger. But they seem like dead animals to me, and I wouldn't want to sleep next to a dead animal thanks." Hermione rolled her eyes - he was just jealous that he didn't have one, and she knew for sure that he was jealous. He might act like he didn't care but deep inside, he wanted one, and she knew it.
Just then, there was a tap on the door, and two envelopes slid under the old, oak door. Draco lay back onto his bed and stared up at the roof of his four-poster, while Hermione got up to fetch the envelopes. She picked them up and chucked one over to Draco, where it hit his perfect hair.
"Granger watch the hair!!!!!"
"Shut it Malfoy, open it!!! We have to fill this in."
Draco grunted and opened the envelope that was the same as Hermione's except, of course, for the fact that it was addressed to him. Hermione sat at the desk and read it, and Draco soon followed as he pulled up a chair. The parchment read:
'Dear Mr Malfoy (or in Hermione's case, Miss Granger),
The other piece of paper enclosed with this parchment is a form that needs to be filled in by tomorrow before breakfast, and we shall warn you that both forms - you AND your partners - shall be put up on the door that leads into your room for others to read. Please fill in immediately once you read this,
Yours sincerely,
Emilia Granger,
Dr. in human psychology studies - muggle wise.
AND
Serena Barnes,
Student at St. Martha's medical school for witches.'
"Mudblood, you got any ink?"
"Get your own Malfoy."
"Oh come on Granger!!! Just a teensy bit of ink???"
"NO."
"Come on!!!!"
"I said NO."
Draco scowled and then remembered the pen that Dr. Granger had given to him on the train journey to Hogwarts. He put his hand into his robe pocket, and pulled out the piece of paper, the pencil and the biro pen. The only problem was, he didn't know how to use any of the three items. He stared at the pen for quite a while, until a muffled giggle interrupted his thoughts. Hermione's head was on the table, and she was desperately trying to muffle her giggles.
"What is so funny Granger??"
"YOU!!!!!!!! You looking at that pen!!!! You not even knowing HOW to use a pen!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!"
Draco felt offended and scowled. Hermione lifted her head, wiping her eyes as she did so. She saw that Draco had returned to staring confusedly at the pen. She sighed, should she help him, or not? He was horrible to her, yes, but she didn't like to be mean - like him. But he did look kind of cute when he was confused and not talking, she couldn't deny that. She sighed again, 'Hermione, you are TOO soft!!' she thought.
"Look, give it here!!!"
Hermione snatched the pen away, and pushed the top of it, then she took the scrap piece of paper that had been ripped from her Aunt's notebook, and scribbled, 'this is how you write with a pen' on it hurriedly, then she handed both things over to Draco.
Draco gawped at it, amazed, and he took the pen gently, and pressed hard onto the paper - writing 'Thanks Granger, even if you are a good for nothing cross between a bushy vermin and a mudblood.' He wrote this slowly, but clearly and Hermione was surprised at the neatness of it all, seeing as he had never written with a pen before.
She covered what she wrote until she had handed it over to Draco. It read (in neat curly handwriting) - 'Shut up. I don't deserve such words for HELPING you Malfoy. Can you not be civil? Have you no manners?'
Draco wrote hurriedly, but surprisingly (again), it was still very neat. It read: 'I do have manners, I just don't see why I should show them to you, and I can be civil I just don't want to be. DUH.'
Hermione scowled at Draco while he smirked up at her, twirling the pen in his hands. "Maybe we should get on with the form now." Hermione said through gritted teeth. It wasn't Draco himself that irritated her so much. It was the fact that he was . . . well, just plain IGNORANT.
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One and half an hour later, they had both finished filling in the form; this is what their forms looks like (Hermione's answer will be in between @, whilst Draco's will be between +, k?):
Full birth name: @Hermione Granger@ +Draco Lucius Malfoy+
Nicknames/ what you also get called and by whom: @'Mione by my friends and most of my family members, Granger and mudblood by my enemies (one of which is my roommate)@ +Dwakie-poo by annoying Pansy Parkinson, Malfoy by my enemies (one of which is my roommate)+
You are in: @Gryffindor@ +Slytherin+
Gender: @Female@ +male+
How many times do you wash a week i.e. Have a bath or shower etc.: @Once everyday at least, but I wash my hair every other day@ +Once everyday, I also wash my hair in the mornings everyday as well+
Favourite colour: @scarlet@ +Green, emerald, all shades of green+
Favourite sweets/food: @CHOCOLATE!!!!@ +Chocolate frogs+
Favourite animal: @cats, owls are good too@ +dragons, poisonous snakes only, animals that can kill basically+
Any comments on your roommate: @You can bet that I do!!!!! How can that historical hat put me with HIM of all people HIM!!!!! I would go insane from spending my time with HIM!!!!! If I could turn back time, I would have put him instead of Neville!!!!! UGH, IT'S SO UNFAIR!!!!!@ +THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!!!!! I MEAN, HOW COULD THAT STUPIDLY, NO BRAIN, TATTY DISGRACE FOR A HAT PUT ME WITH A BUSHY, UGLY, UNFIT, MEAN, FAT, SHORT, HAIRY, DUMB, MUDBLOOD OF A WITCH??? THIS IS A DISGRACE!!!!!! IF MY FATHER WAS ALIVE, YOU CAN BET THAT HE'D KILL THAT HAT!!!!!!!+
The moment that they had both finished, the paper folded itself up, placed itself in its envelope, and flew out under the door. Hermione sighed, and with a wave of her wand, her silk pyjamas were on her and so were her fluffy bunny slippers that Ginny had given to her for her birthday. She rummaged around in her trunk until she found her white cotton dressing gown, she popped it on, and laid on her bed, opening Hogwarts: A History for some bedtime reading.
"Granger!"
Hermione looked up from her book, and saw Draco standing in the doorway of the bathroom. When he had finished the form; he had gone into the bathroom to have a long relaxing bath. It would have been fine, had he not been standing lazily leaning against the wall with only a towel around his waist. Hermione couldn't help but blush and try to ignore him; she hadn't EVER seen a nearly naked boy before in such short distance.
"Ahem, hello? Granger??? Earth to the mudblood????" She couldn't ignore him now; he was waving one hand across her face, his other desperately trying to hold up his towel.
"What do you want Malfoy?" Hermione could feel herself turning beetroot red as she looked up at him from her bed. He smirked at this.
"As much as I hate for you to touch anything of mine, I would be grateful if you could get my black dressing gown out of my trunk, as I left my wand in the trunk as well, and if I bend down to get it . . ." He gestured with his free hand to the towel.
"Get lost Malfoy!!! I'm not touching anything that's yours!!!"
Draco stood for a moment, staring viciously at Hermione as she stared back. What a surprise she got when he shrugged and smirked. "Suit yourself Granger, if you want to see it, then, be my guest." Draco walked towards his trunk as Hermione stared in horror. He was just about to bend down when . . .
"Fine!!!!! I'll get it for you, sheesh!!!" With that, she strode over to his trunk and rummaged around with his clothes (and to her disgust and embarrassment, his underwear) until she found the black cotton dressing gown he was talking about, and his wand.
"As much as I hate to say it, thank you mudblood." And he strode off to the bathroom to get changed, while Hermione took of her gown, clapped her hands once, making all go dark.
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A/N: I hope that that end didn't seem too much like a cliffie, cus' it wasn't meant to be one!!!! You know, as this is an outgoing and mellow fic, it's not supposed to be suspense kind of thing, so there you go!!!! Please review, and if you are even reading this chapter AND author note, you deserve a chocolate chip cookie!!! Just because you read the chapter and are reading my rantings!!!
~Love, peace, pigs and fanfics,
~Girl-who-loooooooooooooooves-the-internet!!!!!!
PS. Was this chapter less funny or what? My opinion is that it was, but what do you think? Was it utter crap?
Summary: Hermione's aunt has been called to Hogwarts as she needs lots of children to be her 'guinea pigs' and of course, only Dumbledore is nice enough to let someone experiment with his students . . .
HERMIONE'S POV, BUT NARRATED BY ME ~ THE AUTHOR!!!! SORRY UPDATE TOOK TOO LONG, BEEN BUSY DUDES!!!!
MY LOVELY THANKS TO:
*Some12 ~ Thanks so much for the review, it was very nice, as for the 'Pansy-using-Blaise' thing, I'll consider it, but I'm not making any promises, there are so many ideas floating in my brainless head that I can't possibly fit them all into one fic!!!! The Serena thing seems like a really good idea though, so if I remember it when I'm typing, I'll put it in!!! Oh and by the way, what's guidance concolour?
**Harryforeva ~ Aw!!! That is so nice of you!!!!! It really is!!!!! Have a cookie, they're all I've got to give!!! And the chapter of course!! Anyway, not everyone's reviewing, but I get what you mean!!! Here's the next chapter, and thanks so much!!!
***Plaidly Lush ~ Thank you first for reviewing, and second for telling me of my stupid mistake. I didn't look 'Zabini' up because I trust you (sorry if I make the same mistake again, I'm forgetful enough to do so). Might I say that you seem like you know your Harry Potter stuff, cus' most people don't even notice the 'Zambini/Zabini' thing and lots of my other mistakes too!!!! Thanks also for telling me which one you prefer out of Tom, Dan and Rupert!! Oh and I hope you did enjoy the last chapter, because you sounded really pissed off, (because of "e: I can't take this: end quote, and the sigh at the end, which to me, seems like the kind of thing you would say/do if you were feeling slightly stressed) and I really hope that it wasn't my chapter that made you feel that (although I don't think a chapter would really be important enough to piss anyone off, but you never know). Anyway, I hope that if you were feeling miffed, that you're feeling better!!!!
****Klee_babe ~ aren't cookies just the most brilliant thing ever invented? No, the Internet and chocolate is!!!! Yay!!! I hope this is a right laugh, and of course Hermione was paired with Draco? Who else would they suit better? Lol thanks so much for reviewing again and here is more!!!!
*****Burgundyred ~ Lol, go Tom, I like Rupert, and Tom and Dan, I simply can't decide which one is better!! And for the punctuation thing, yes, I love '!' and '?' because they are so fun to overuse, plus, this is a stupid fic, so you need lots of them to make it all the more annoying!!! I am sorry I am not willing to stop this annoying habit of overusing punctuation because in Butt Big, someone told me to stop using them too much, so I have tried, and if I have to do the same with THIS fic, I would die. The experiments have not yet started in this chapter, but shall very soon; next chapter I have decided is an in-betweeny chapter!!! So, you shall have to wait a while for the 'proper' torture and fun to begin . . . MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
******luza ~ Thanks! I'm glad it seems like it's really good, but I don't want it to be portrayed too well, in case anyone continues to read it and gets disappointed :D hopefully no one will!!
*******Happigolucki ~ I'm glad you liked it, and I CHOOSE RUPERT TOO!! I also think he's such a sweetheart, I don't know why but I think he's so . . . I don't know the word for it! But I like Dan too . . . but Rupert definitely comes first! Here's the next chapter, enjoy!
********Fluff ~ were you the one who asked for another annoying nickname for Draco? I can't remember, but Coco was the first thing that came to mind!! And it was definitely mortifying enough, I'm sure you'll agree ;D, I like Daniel Radcliffe, I think he is soooooooooo cute! I prefer Rupert because Rupert's just . . . you know, RUPERT so I like both, and I like Tom too, but you know, he gets so many fans . . . lol, I really hope you enjoy this, and if you have any more annoying nicknames for Draco, please do tell!!
*********Starlightz6 ~ I'm glad you agree with the whole make up overdone thing, and I thank you so much for wracking your brains to try and think up some suggestions, that is so nice! Originality seems to be something I'm good at **wink** I could picture Dumbledore saying VA VA VOOM too, that's why I put it I guess, lol, typical headmaster thing . . . I kind of knew you'd choose Tom ;D, Sean Biggerstaff I'm not so sure about, he plays Wood doesn't he?
**********Smileyface1314 ~ Thanks so much for reviewing, and don't worry I will continue to review your fic, I am so happy you think this is remotely funny!! And you're considering changing it to Hermione/Draco? THAT WOULD BE SO COOL, not that it's not good now, but you know . . . anyway, thanks so much again, tata!! And enjoy!
NO SPOILERS HERE.
CHAPTER THREE: Accommodations and the beginning of the torture.
DISCLAIMER: As usual, I own nothing, just like everyone else on fanfiction.net. I mean, seriously, do you think, any good author that can get there work published into a book that can be put on sale in bookshops all over the world, would really prefer to put up their stories on this website?? I don't think so and neither should you, otherwise you really have some mental problems.
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"Now Hermione dear, aren't you glad that that nice hat put you with Mr Malfoy honey?"
"Yeah, it's like a dream come true." Hermione said as she sulked along next to her Aunt and Draco. Her voice dripped with sarcasm as her aunt shook her head at her (Serena was up ahead, leading the line).
"Now, now dear!!! That's not any way to speak to your Auntie now is it?? And honey, I know you have a very . . . interesting, history with - what was your name again dear?"
"It's Draco."
"Yes, that's it, Draco, but he's your new roommate, and do try to remember that you're not exactly an easy person to be friends with either Hermione."
Hermione responded with a grunt. The line came to a halt, and Dr. Granger hurried back to the front of the line as quickly as she could. They were all crowded in front of a large muggle portrait - one of the few that didn't move in the school.
The background was a picture of a battlefield, dead bodies lay behind the magnificent gold lion, and rotting trees were scattered everywhere, their leaves lay lifeless on the cracked red ground. The sky was all different shades, and the sun's colours shone purple in the sunset. Along the horizon, a large black bird could be seen - a raven - flying high in the sky like it hadn't a care in the world, and along the back next to a fallen tree, an injured badger was breathing his last breath as he lay over a pool of blood. As Hermione neared the portrait, a small green snake could be seen slithering up to the lion, its split tongue sticking out of it's mouth violently. She wanted to stop and take a closer look at this masterpiece but, of course, she needed to enter the portrait hole.
She and Draco stepped slowly through and saw a long corridor filled with tall oak doors from their right and left. The carpet was a rich red, lined with royal purple, and in the centre of the carpet, all along the corridor, was the Hogwarts symbol with the school motto written underneath it. Brilliant glass chandeliers lighted the whole area with their sparkling white light, and each door had a crystal handle built into it which made the whole thing look magnificent. They knew that one of these rooms were theirs, as all the pairs of students were slowly disappearing through the doors.
"HERMIONE HONEY!!!!!!!!" Dr Granger shouted from above all the heads of the waiting students. Hermione groaned inwardly and rolled her eyes. "Your room is over here sweety!!! Yours and Draco's room I mean!!!!!!!!!"
Hermione slowly made her way past all the students in her year, stopping to apologise for treading on their feet, and stopping to glare at them for calling her a 'aunty's girl'. Draco, however, made his way easily to the front, as he fought back his urge to laugh at the poor girl.
On the oak door, engraved into it, was the words: 'MISS HERMIONE GRANGER & MR DRACO MALFOY.' Written in golden swirling letters. They were both given keys (Draco's emerald, and Hermione red) and just as they were about to enter, Dr Granger decided to speak to her little niece.
"Oh, and before we go dear, we decided to put some people next to you that might suit you, so Draco honey, the door to your left is Gregory Goyle's and Millicent Bulstrode's room, and to your right Hermione dear, is - well actually, you can choose." Her aunt stepped aside to reveal Harry, Padma, Ron and Lisa Turpin (a Ravenclaw).
"We don't mind who you pick 'Mione!!!" Ron grinned at her. He then turned to Draco and scowled.
"Yeah, if you pick me, Ron will be in the room straight next to mine, so it's easy for you to come and chat to Ron and me!!!" Harry nodded and smiled at Hermione as she racked her brains. 'Padma seems a more sensible option, as Parvati's her sister and a Gryffindor.'
"Harry and Padma please." Hermione said, as Serena went over to the next oak door and tapped her wand against it, their names appeared on the door in the same kind f swirly gold lettering.
"See ya tomorrow morning 'Mione!!!" Harry and Ron both said, as they entered their rooms. Hermione slowly opened her door (she didn't need to unlock it as Draco had already gone in) and stepped inside.
(Was going to end it here, but thought, nah!!! That's soooo mean!!!! So I didn't!!! Enjoy the rest!!)
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Inside the room, it was magnificent, more so than the outside of the room. There was a giant glass chandelier in the middle, although Hermione did not see why you needed it, as the entire wall in front of Hermione was made of glass (some sections you could see were apart from the rest of the glass wall, probably because you could open them, like a window). The sight was splendid, a brilliant view of Hogwarts own lake, it sparkled dark blue in the light of the night sky, and the moon and stars glittered in their reflection. Her mouth hung open at the wonderful sight.
"Lovely isn't it Granger? And look." Draco lay on his bed lazily, he clapped his hands and red curtains (like the ones on a theatre stage) flowed out of nowhere (that she could see anyway) and covered the entire glass wall. Now she could see how bright the chandelier was. "See mudblood? Clap your hands twice and the curtains come down. Clap your hands once and the chandelier switches itself off."
"Hmm . . ." Hermione murmured as she caught sight of her bed. It was a lovely rose red, and on the duvet cover was the outline of a rose in gold thread. She slowly walked over and started to trace it with her fingers. Her and Draco's trunks had been brought up already and they lay at the foot of their beds.
"Your beds rather girly if you ask me. Look at mine." Draco jumped off the bed and gestured towards it. It was green (like you wouldn't have guessed) and on it was a picture of a Chinese dragon, also sewed on with gold thread. The entire four-poster was green, as was Hermione's except it was red, except for the gold. It looked very comfortable and soft.
"Whatever Malfoy, you're just jealous."
"Me? Jealous? Of you of all people? HA!!! A likely story."
Hermione sat on her bed, and took her shoes and socks off. She lay them carefully inside her trunk - unaware that Draco was watching her every move. The carpet felt soft under her toes, like one of her cuddly toys that she had with her in her trunk. She tread on the soft carpet and over to her trunk. Draco watched her rummage around, until she pulled out two toys.
"What are they mudblood?"
"Haven't you ever had a stuffed toy before?"
"Why would I have such a babyish thing?"
"They are not babyish!!! Okay, maybe they are, but they're lovely!!!! Look!!!" She threw one over to him and he caught it. The one the remained in her hand was a beanie baby, a fluffy, pink, bunny beanie baby. Its long ears flopped down over its eyes and its fluffy tail felt like cotton wool. The one she had thrown over to Draco, was a soft wool stuffed bear, with a small woolly jumper on that read 'Love is a gift, cherish it forever and always.' Draco was now examining the bear with greatest curiosity.
Draco chucked it back over to Hermione. "Lovely Granger. But they seem like dead animals to me, and I wouldn't want to sleep next to a dead animal thanks." Hermione rolled her eyes - he was just jealous that he didn't have one, and she knew for sure that he was jealous. He might act like he didn't care but deep inside, he wanted one, and she knew it.
Just then, there was a tap on the door, and two envelopes slid under the old, oak door. Draco lay back onto his bed and stared up at the roof of his four-poster, while Hermione got up to fetch the envelopes. She picked them up and chucked one over to Draco, where it hit his perfect hair.
"Granger watch the hair!!!!!"
"Shut it Malfoy, open it!!! We have to fill this in."
Draco grunted and opened the envelope that was the same as Hermione's except, of course, for the fact that it was addressed to him. Hermione sat at the desk and read it, and Draco soon followed as he pulled up a chair. The parchment read:
'Dear Mr Malfoy (or in Hermione's case, Miss Granger),
The other piece of paper enclosed with this parchment is a form that needs to be filled in by tomorrow before breakfast, and we shall warn you that both forms - you AND your partners - shall be put up on the door that leads into your room for others to read. Please fill in immediately once you read this,
Yours sincerely,
Emilia Granger,
Dr. in human psychology studies - muggle wise.
AND
Serena Barnes,
Student at St. Martha's medical school for witches.'
"Mudblood, you got any ink?"
"Get your own Malfoy."
"Oh come on Granger!!! Just a teensy bit of ink???"
"NO."
"Come on!!!!"
"I said NO."
Draco scowled and then remembered the pen that Dr. Granger had given to him on the train journey to Hogwarts. He put his hand into his robe pocket, and pulled out the piece of paper, the pencil and the biro pen. The only problem was, he didn't know how to use any of the three items. He stared at the pen for quite a while, until a muffled giggle interrupted his thoughts. Hermione's head was on the table, and she was desperately trying to muffle her giggles.
"What is so funny Granger??"
"YOU!!!!!!!! You looking at that pen!!!! You not even knowing HOW to use a pen!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!"
Draco felt offended and scowled. Hermione lifted her head, wiping her eyes as she did so. She saw that Draco had returned to staring confusedly at the pen. She sighed, should she help him, or not? He was horrible to her, yes, but she didn't like to be mean - like him. But he did look kind of cute when he was confused and not talking, she couldn't deny that. She sighed again, 'Hermione, you are TOO soft!!' she thought.
"Look, give it here!!!"
Hermione snatched the pen away, and pushed the top of it, then she took the scrap piece of paper that had been ripped from her Aunt's notebook, and scribbled, 'this is how you write with a pen' on it hurriedly, then she handed both things over to Draco.
Draco gawped at it, amazed, and he took the pen gently, and pressed hard onto the paper - writing 'Thanks Granger, even if you are a good for nothing cross between a bushy vermin and a mudblood.' He wrote this slowly, but clearly and Hermione was surprised at the neatness of it all, seeing as he had never written with a pen before.
She covered what she wrote until she had handed it over to Draco. It read (in neat curly handwriting) - 'Shut up. I don't deserve such words for HELPING you Malfoy. Can you not be civil? Have you no manners?'
Draco wrote hurriedly, but surprisingly (again), it was still very neat. It read: 'I do have manners, I just don't see why I should show them to you, and I can be civil I just don't want to be. DUH.'
Hermione scowled at Draco while he smirked up at her, twirling the pen in his hands. "Maybe we should get on with the form now." Hermione said through gritted teeth. It wasn't Draco himself that irritated her so much. It was the fact that he was . . . well, just plain IGNORANT.
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One and half an hour later, they had both finished filling in the form; this is what their forms looks like (Hermione's answer will be in between @, whilst Draco's will be between +, k?):
Full birth name: @Hermione Granger@ +Draco Lucius Malfoy+
Nicknames/ what you also get called and by whom: @'Mione by my friends and most of my family members, Granger and mudblood by my enemies (one of which is my roommate)@ +Dwakie-poo by annoying Pansy Parkinson, Malfoy by my enemies (one of which is my roommate)+
You are in: @Gryffindor@ +Slytherin+
Gender: @Female@ +male+
How many times do you wash a week i.e. Have a bath or shower etc.: @Once everyday at least, but I wash my hair every other day@ +Once everyday, I also wash my hair in the mornings everyday as well+
Favourite colour: @scarlet@ +Green, emerald, all shades of green+
Favourite sweets/food: @CHOCOLATE!!!!@ +Chocolate frogs+
Favourite animal: @cats, owls are good too@ +dragons, poisonous snakes only, animals that can kill basically+
Any comments on your roommate: @You can bet that I do!!!!! How can that historical hat put me with HIM of all people HIM!!!!! I would go insane from spending my time with HIM!!!!! If I could turn back time, I would have put him instead of Neville!!!!! UGH, IT'S SO UNFAIR!!!!!@ +THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!!!!! I MEAN, HOW COULD THAT STUPIDLY, NO BRAIN, TATTY DISGRACE FOR A HAT PUT ME WITH A BUSHY, UGLY, UNFIT, MEAN, FAT, SHORT, HAIRY, DUMB, MUDBLOOD OF A WITCH??? THIS IS A DISGRACE!!!!!! IF MY FATHER WAS ALIVE, YOU CAN BET THAT HE'D KILL THAT HAT!!!!!!!+
The moment that they had both finished, the paper folded itself up, placed itself in its envelope, and flew out under the door. Hermione sighed, and with a wave of her wand, her silk pyjamas were on her and so were her fluffy bunny slippers that Ginny had given to her for her birthday. She rummaged around in her trunk until she found her white cotton dressing gown, she popped it on, and laid on her bed, opening Hogwarts: A History for some bedtime reading.
"Granger!"
Hermione looked up from her book, and saw Draco standing in the doorway of the bathroom. When he had finished the form; he had gone into the bathroom to have a long relaxing bath. It would have been fine, had he not been standing lazily leaning against the wall with only a towel around his waist. Hermione couldn't help but blush and try to ignore him; she hadn't EVER seen a nearly naked boy before in such short distance.
"Ahem, hello? Granger??? Earth to the mudblood????" She couldn't ignore him now; he was waving one hand across her face, his other desperately trying to hold up his towel.
"What do you want Malfoy?" Hermione could feel herself turning beetroot red as she looked up at him from her bed. He smirked at this.
"As much as I hate for you to touch anything of mine, I would be grateful if you could get my black dressing gown out of my trunk, as I left my wand in the trunk as well, and if I bend down to get it . . ." He gestured with his free hand to the towel.
"Get lost Malfoy!!! I'm not touching anything that's yours!!!"
Draco stood for a moment, staring viciously at Hermione as she stared back. What a surprise she got when he shrugged and smirked. "Suit yourself Granger, if you want to see it, then, be my guest." Draco walked towards his trunk as Hermione stared in horror. He was just about to bend down when . . .
"Fine!!!!! I'll get it for you, sheesh!!!" With that, she strode over to his trunk and rummaged around with his clothes (and to her disgust and embarrassment, his underwear) until she found the black cotton dressing gown he was talking about, and his wand.
"As much as I hate to say it, thank you mudblood." And he strode off to the bathroom to get changed, while Hermione took of her gown, clapped her hands once, making all go dark.
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A/N: I hope that that end didn't seem too much like a cliffie, cus' it wasn't meant to be one!!!! You know, as this is an outgoing and mellow fic, it's not supposed to be suspense kind of thing, so there you go!!!! Please review, and if you are even reading this chapter AND author note, you deserve a chocolate chip cookie!!! Just because you read the chapter and are reading my rantings!!!
~Love, peace, pigs and fanfics,
~Girl-who-loooooooooooooooves-the-internet!!!!!!
PS. Was this chapter less funny or what? My opinion is that it was, but what do you think? Was it utter crap?