CRAZY LUNATIC EXPERIMENTS
Summary: Hermione's aunt has been called to Hogwarts as she needs lots of children to be her 'guinea pigs' and of course, only Dumbledore is nice enough to let someone experiment with his students . . .
NARRATED BY MOI! MY MANY THANK YOU'S TO:
~ Loah ~ Lol, thanks for the review, my non-maniac laughing is because, well . . . I have my own reasons . . .
~ Fluff ~ Thank you, thank you! For the reviews (and how to delete chapters)! So I overuse stuff, but its not the first time! And like you even said, hyperness suits this fic! (I mean, if you can't handle my hyperness, but you can handle stupid experiments including a man becoming pregnant, then you have some SERIOUS problems . . .) Thanks again, HUGZ!!!
~ Pyroprincess4rmeverwood ~ Thanks, lol, most people said Dan or Tom, I like them all! Hehe, I know, how greedy am I . . . I will read your fics if I have the time (and if I haven't already), and thank you SOOOO much for telling me how to delete stuff. I thought there was a way, but being me, I have short-term memory so there you go, thanks again!
~Harryforeva ~ Yes, our Hermione certainly does have many talent . . . well what do you expect from little Miss Perfect? ;-) Thanks for the review!
~Smileyface1314 ~ Hehe, thanks, I'm happy that you enjoyed it! And I didn't have a white Christmas either, but then again, in England, that's less than impossible most of the time. Oh and have fun at New York!
~ Happigolucki616 ~ Lol, god, your reviewing is making me laugh! It's just the way that you get all muddled with everything . . . cracks me up!! Hehe . . . thank you so much for your review, and I am POSITIVE that I've read your fic now! THANK YOU GOD, I HAVE THE TIME!
~The counter ~ Erm, hey, I read your profile, and it said you like to count things (which I gathered) . . . you probably won't be reading this, but if you actually did, you might find that there is, maybe just a little bit of difference in my plot than any others. And anyway, if you want more variety, why don't you write some?
~Arcturus Black ~ Why thank you! That's very nice of you, and a huge compliment on my part ;-)
~ Phoebe-H ~ Lol, thank you for the review, and I hope this update was quick enough!! (And if it wasn't then . . . I'm terribly sorry)
~ Some12 ~ Evil moo (in my vocabulary anyway) means exactly what you said - evil cow. You know that sometimes the word 'cow' is meant to be rude (as it is here, except I didn't use the specific word) but some people might not like out right swearing, so I avoided it by putting something else. I don't like the word cow is swearing, but there's people like that out there. . . thank you for the review, and I hope the update was soon enough!! (Oh yeah, and thanks for reading it twice ^_~)
~Emma ~ Aw thanks, I was going to put this fic under romance and humour, but in case I let myself (and the reviewers/readers) down, I didn't, and I still haven't mainly because I haven't got the ended sorted yet (although that doesn't mean it's ending soon!)
~Freedome-rules ~ Thanks! I hope you enjoy this chapter and please, please, pleeeeease review afterwards, now that would make MY day!! ;-)
~Kellz ~ Thank you for the review, and you pick Tom? Lol, most people did, either Tom or Dan, but I like Rupert!! GO RUPERT!!
~StephanieWong ~ Thank you!! (I know I say that to everyone but I mean it) I should have read and reviewed your fic by now, and if I haven't then I apologise and I'll get round to reading it soon!
~Burgundyred ~ Sorry you're all the way down this list!! I was reading all the reviews and then I got bored of reading the longer ones first (laziness is a horrible thing really) so I did the shorter reviews first! Anyway, thanks for telling me what you particularly liked about it (might inspire me for something later) and I can only pray really hard that you'll like this chapter!!! Oh and thank you for telling me how to delete stuff, and yes, it is really stupid to put it over there!
~ Voldie On Varsity Track ~ Lol, so happy you enjoyed it!! Here's the next chapter, hope you like this one as much as the ones you've already read, and the ones to come!!
~Eventuality ~ Thank you SO much for your review, and taking the time to read this!! Here's the next chapter, hope you enjoy it (and review afterwards)!!!
~LythTaeraneth ~ Thanks for the review, and the cheer!!! You have no idea how much of an ego boosting I'm getting, but I'll try not to get my feet too big for its boots!!
~ Yoogrl ~ Thank you for your two reviews!! I will have, hopefully, emailed you about this new chapter by now!! Please enjoy this chapter and don't forget to review!
NO SPOILERS.
CHAPTER EIGHT: Another day, another experiment.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing that will remotely interest you for a minute for I am a remotely boring person who has hardly any sense of humour, therefore will find it hard to actually write something funny!!!! I hope that is understood that I do not own Harry Potter, oh the glorious Harry Potter (and Draco)!!! Oh and Ron too! Oh and Hermi of course, can't forget the main girl!
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Waking up in the morning is one of the hardest things to do, especially if you've just dreamt that you've woken up, then wake up to find that you have to struggle to get up all over again. Does this only affect us normal people, and not wizards or witches? The answer is, but of course, no. Why? Basically because we're all human beings, whether we like it or not.
That morning, Hermione awoke to her alarm beeping uncontrollably. She hit the snooze button, but that only resorted in her being woken up again five minutes later, and this time she found it even harder to get out of her warm and comfortable bed. That is, until Draco decided to pounce on Hermione and sit on her until she couldn't breathe.
Draco sprung up once he had blasted the alarm into shreds and managed to make Hermione shriek for dear life. He quickly ran into the bathroom with his clothes and a towel while Hermione sat up dozily and angrily, making herself turn awfully red.
"Malfoy, you stupid git! That's the SECOND ALARM you've blown up!!"
"And I assure you, it won't be the last!" Draco shouted over the sound of water running in the shower.
"Lucky I have a third one then!!!"
Hermione rolled her eyes, bloody Malfoy, always annoying the hell out of everybody soooo much that she just wanted to squeeze his little scrawny neck and make it go round and round and round and round then punch him in the privates . . . teehee, that certainly sounded more entertaining than having your Aunt try to murder you with her loony ideas disguised as experiments to trick innocent teenagers . . . .
"Hurry up in the shower Malfoy! Or I'll hex your pretty little head off!!"
Hermione thought she heard something similar to a snort as she made her bed carefully, ready to go at nine to the muggle studies area - room 13. (After she'd washed first, of course.) She sat on her bed and chucked her teddy bear up and down, only for it to hit her on the head, making her quite dizzy. The feelings she had felt yesterday on that kiss came flooding back to her, and it nearly made her blush so badly she felt like rushing under the covers of her bed. She decided against this idea almost immediately as she really didn't feel like making her bed again.
She hit herself hard on the head, making her dizzier. 'Remember Hermione, one more thought on that kissy thing with the blonde git and it's another whack for that glorious brain of yours' Hermione smiled in satisfaction as she felt herself obey . . . herself.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
"Now Hermione honey, I'm sorry I can't go with you today, I have to go with that trainee over there," Dr Granger pointed to a pale faced little girl who could be no larger than five. Hermione's heart stopped beating. A little girl, FIVE YEARS OLD, was being a professional . . . now she'd seen everything . . . then she realised it was the girls mother that was being trained, as a tall woman of 25 stood behind her daughter and glared at Hermione for staring.
"I'll take her Dr Granger!!! She's such a pleasure to have around. I ADORE what she's done with her hair. I mean, it's so BUSHY, how'd you get it like that?"
Serena frowned at Hermione's hair, taking a strand and twirling it around her finger like she was a kitten playing with a ball of yarn. Hermione could hear Draco snort from behind her. Oh how much she wanted to DIE right now. . .
"Now, Serena!!! You can't go on your own!! How about going with . . . Lee!!! OH LEE DARLING!!!!!"
The young wizard who had asked Hermione about her breakfast that day when Hermione had grown a beard, walked slowly over, pushing his glasses up as he stood in front of a beaming Dr Granger. (You know, the one that looks like Legolas LoTR)
"Lee, please take good care of Hermione, she is my niece after all!!! Oh, and Mr Malfoy of course."
Dr Granger stalked off without another word. She did, however, wink at Serena. Lee looked rather disappointed with being bundled down with Hermione, his employer's niece AND an annoying rich blonde AND a furiously blushing Serena. He sighed and looked down at his clipboard then looked back up at the three people who were either looking down at the floor trying to avoid all eye contact with him, or staring up at the ceiling as if it was the most interesting thing in the world OR yawning their head off and wishing they were anywhere BUT here (not exactly hard to guess which is which . . .)
"Now, we are to go to the quidditch pitch, yes . . . that's where the warm up is positioned, now please follow me . . . children." Lee muttered before speed walking off in one direction, Serena following him, her fingers twirling her hair absentmindedly. Draco and Hermione walked together silently. It wasn't like they didn't know the way to the quidditch pitch, they had, after all, been taught here at Hogwarts for SIX YEARS.
They arrived at the quidditch pitch, Lee looking impatient and snobbish, Serena blushing and trying desperately hard to wrack her brains to think of something good to say.
"What took you so long? I told you to keep up CHILDREN." Lee shook his head like he was very disappointed. Hermione could feel and hear Draco take a very deep breath next to her.
"Now your task for today is this obstacle course. All pairs are having this obstacle course but in different places. You children are lucky enough to have Hogwarts very own quidditch pitch. Now complete the obstacle course, TOGETHER. The pair with the highest score at the end of the day will get a prize and the lowest will get a punishment."
Lee pointed up to a very high wall of brick positioned towards the end of the quidditch pitch, near the goal posts.
"One of you go up there and one of you stay down here. The one on the top will be moving along this brick wall, and pushing those buttons on the edge - can you see them?"
"Yes, we're not bloody blind." Draco mumbled, resulting in a silent glaring contest with Lee.
"Now, the one at the bottom will be telling the one at the top which button to press, using this." Lee pointed to a screen just in front of the wall. "the television screen will flash a particular colour every five seconds after you've pressed each button. So, if you take ten seconds to press the first button, five seconds after, the television will flash another colour. There are five colours in total. Once you finish, a buzzer will sound and we shall move on to let another pair do the warm up as some of the pairs are actually still eating now. Understand children? Now which one shall be going up?"
Draco pushed Hermione forwards. She sent him a glare through the back of her head.
"Malfoy, you know bloody well that I'm scared of heights!" She mumbled quickly, stalking back to him and grabbing the front of his robes.
"Of course I know!" Draco muttered as if that was the most obvious thing in the world.
"You're the one that plays quidditch."
"I thought you said I bought my way onto the team?"
"Malfoy . . ."
"Okay, so it's you, Miss Hermione Granger, Dr Granger's niece?" Lee raised an eyebrow and thinned his lips as Hermione turned to stare at him. He took out his wand and was just about levitate Hermione up when someone interrupted.
"I'll do it!!" Serena jumped in, holding her wand up. She had tied pink ribbons onto the end of her wand, and it looked utterly ridiculous. Lee frowned.
"But it's a very complicated spell!"
"I can do it!" Serena stepped up to Hermione. Hermione looked shocked. Serena was going to kill her with her bad magic. She had heard from her Aunt that Serena wasn't awfully good at magic and that she had been chosen as an assistant because she talked a lot.
"No, no, please, I don't wanna die!!!" Hermione looked like she was going to cry as Serena started to flick her wand in an annoying sort of way, not to mention THE WRONG way.
"Please Hermione! I want to impress him!" Serena whispered and whined at the same time. Hermione, being the soft person she was, couldn't reject Serena and nodded as Serena grinned, took a step back, then took a deep breath. She examined her wand, then aimed it at Hermione.
"Right . . . erm . . . shooto mengardium!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
Now, what do you think happened? Did the spell turn Hermione into a pink piggy? Or did she land safely on the brick wall? Maybe she actually shot up and fell back down onto Draco? Well, technically, all of these are wrong. The spell did indeed work, but all too well. Hermione shot upwards and, instead of landing on the brick wall, she landed on, well actually, nothing. She was falling downwards, her head spinning, when her robe got caught on the quidditch hoop, the middle, and the tallest one.
"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!"
"Oh very clever Serena, I knew you wouldn't be able to use such a spell that I can use!" Lee shouted at Serena, who was on the verge of tears.
"Oh I'm sorry Lee, I should've let you do it!"
"Damn right you should have!"
"Oh shut up! We've got to get Granger down!"
Lee and Serena stopped and looked at Draco. He was frowning and squinting up at Hermione, trying to think of a way to get her down. Draco really could not be bothered to have that snob and that WOMAN fight, he would rather save his mudblood of a partner thanks.
"Accio Nimbus!" Draco called, summoning his Nimbus 3000 (yes, they were upgraded to 3000, and no, it isn't the year 3000 yet). He hopped on and flew upwards towards Hermione.
"Granger?" No reaction. Hermione's head was spinning. She didn't like heights, she never had, and this was making her very dizzy. She could hardly see Draco at all, all she saw was a whirl of blonde, black and green from the grass below.
"Ugh . . ."
Slowly, her robes were slipping from the golden hoop, very slowly . . . until finally, she slipped and fell down and down and down . . . because of the force of gravity! Luckily, Draco was prepared. He caught her on his broom, JUST. He was now riding hands free as he tried to position Hermione in front of him. Eventually, he managed to make her sit in front of him, his arms on the top of the broom, just in front of her.
Landing safely on the ground, Draco hopped off, carrying Hermione as he hobbled under her weight. Lee frowned again. He stormed over to Draco and the now fainted Hermione.
"Tut, tut children! That could have been dangerous!! You should have left everything to the professionals, like moi!" Before Draco could reply with something along the lines of 'If you're a professional, then I'm ugly', Lee had started to walk to the end of the quidditch pitch, scribbling furiously on his clipboard. Draco and Serena watched him go.
"Well, he is smart, and clever, and kind of a professional, we better follow him . . ." Serena sighed and started to walk in the direction where Lee had sped off. Draco watched for a minute, feeling more and more pissed off by the second. He sighed, and heaved Hermione over his shoulder, making her dangle upside down, her hair sweeping the floor (lucky he was taller than her, eh? Imagine the brain damage . . .).
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
"These broomsticks are for beginners, hence the name 'Brooms for beginners'. They were given to us by the well-known quidditch store 'Quality Quidditch Supplies' to test whether their qualities actually work or not. Now, Miss Granger, I know of your fear of heights, but as you are a beginner, you should test this broom anyway, it's more important than if you fall off!"
Lee said, as he brought out one broomstick. He handed it to Hermione, who began to look at the broom like it was the most bizarre thing in the world, which it probably was. He expected HER to ride this, this MONSTROSITY??? She had only just recovered from the warm up thanks.
The design for this broom was full of gadgets, a saddle was even fixed onto it, with a buckle to use like a seatbelt. The wood had slits where you could grip better with your hands, and there was even a wand pocket so you could use it incase of emergencies.
Hermione slid her wand into the pocket, and buckled herself in. Nervously, she kicked up from the ground and flew upwards, higher and higher until everything seemed like one of those model worlds with little figurines. You know, the Lego sort.
She began to feel slightly woozy, but continued to fly, trying to see whether this thing actually worked. Trying not to look around too much, she began to sing a song to see if it would distract her from the fact that she was about two hundred feet off the ground.
"Dumdeedumdeedum, look down and you'll die, dumdeedumdeedum, why oh why? Is it me? All the ruddy time . . . dumdeedumdeedum, flying is stupid, and I am so dizzy, someone please help me, I am so dizzy . . . dumdeedumdeedum."
. . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . .
CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!
Hermione opened her eyes. She was on the ground. 'Ohhhh, so that's why I felt like I was falling, DUH.' She wondered why she hadn't broken all her bones by now, and why she now had two pieces of wood in her hands. Fidgeting slightly, she felt something soft underneath her.
"Get off me Granger." A muffled mumble came from below her. Hermione shot up like there was no tomorrow, her face red with embarrassment. Drac slowly got up, holding his leg in pain. He scowled and gave her the most evil stare he could manage, making him look like a mangled orange.
"Great going Granger! I save you from a quidditch hoop and what do I get in return? Nothing but A BIG FAT PURPLE PRUNE SITTING ON MY BEAUTIFUL LEG!!!!!" Draco glared ferociously (don't think you can do that but nevermind . . .) at Hermione. She huffed herself up indignantly.
"Just because I'm purple that doesn't make me a prune!"
"Yeah, right, coughprunecough."
"YOU'RE THE PRUNE!!!"
"Hmm, and that's coming from someone who's PURPLE."
"Oh shut up, or I'll go tell all your cronies about what happened last night!"
"That will work no more!!! I thought about it and then decided that YOU wouldn't want Potty and co. finding out, so HA!!! Am I right, or am I right?"
"Argh . . . . you . . . PIG!"
"Pig am I? Is that the best you can come up with?"
"Piggy, pig, pig!! Oink, snort, oink!"
"Sounds like you're the pig to me."
"You're the pig!! PIG!!!!
"Fine then . . . . . . .oink."
"YOU ANNOYING INFURIATING BRATTY SNOTTY SNOBBY BLONDE PUREBLOOD SON OF A -
"Calm down children!! I'm afraid Miss Granger, your weight broke the broom. Maybe you should try to eat less breakfast tomorrow before doing any experiments."
If looks could kill, Lee would have died twice. Hermione was now purple and red, while Draco was just . . . pale, as always. Being posh is never good when you're around two angry teenagers.
"YOU SHUT UP!!"
They simultaneously shouted. Lee looked appalled at the language they had chosen to confront him with, Serena stayed in the corner, trying to be invisible (doing the 'I can't see you, you can't see me' thing).
"Children!!"
"And shut your crack 'ole with that children stuff!!! You, you . . . pimp!"
Draco shouted, his brain seemed blank and pimp seemed the only insult that was appropriate. Childish and immature it may be, but pimp is a word - but in this case, meaning annoying and horrible, associating with the word 'pimple'. Lee grumbled and thinned his lips like McGonagall, except in a more annoying way. He shook his fist in anger, then set his glasses straight even though they were already straight.
"Fine, let's go back to the muggle studies area to meet up with the others."
His voice sounded strangled, which made it all the more pleasurable for Draco.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
"Welcome all students!!" Dr Granger said, standing on the table so that she could be seen. To her right was Lee, looking stiff and angry in a . . . stiff way. To her left was Serena, a smile plastered onto her face like a Barbie doll.
Hermione and Draco must have been sitting at their two-seated desk in the muggles studies classroom 13 for at least an hour and a half by now. How many cups of milk she had drunk, Hermione really didn't know. Draco, however, had been spending most of his time looking at the people in white coats and rating their hair on a scale of one to ten. Finally, everyone had arrived, and Dr Granger was now making her announcement.
"For today's warm up, you should have all been told that whoever got the highest score, as in, the lowest time, was going to get a treat, whilst the people who got the lowest score would get a punishment. Now let this take place! Professor Sprout is the Professor that is with us today, so, please could you announce the people with the highest score who shall be getting the treat?"
Professor Sprout stood proudly and took out a piece of paper from her hair. She coughed a few times before beginning. "The pair with the lowest time of thirty seconds, is . . . Ron Weasley and Lisa Turpin!!! Congratulations my dearys!!"
There was a round of applause, as Ron and Lisa stood. Hermione looked over at Ron who seemed dazed and pleased at the same time, his ears red with happiness. Lisa looked pleased as well, although not as dazed and confused as Ron.
"Your prize shall be," Professor Sprout continued, "a year's supply of chocolate frogs, and VIP tickets to the chocolate frog factory!!!!!!! There are six tickets, one for you two, and four for two more pairs."
If it was possible that Ron could look more blissful and confused, then he was. Hermione prayed that having Malfoy as her dim-witted sidekick wouldn't ruin her chances to get Ron to pick her as one of the pairs to go to that chocolate frog factory, ANYTHING to get her out of her ingenious aunt's murder scheme disguised as innocent experiments . . .
"Now, the pair with the lowest score is . . . Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy, who didn't even do it!" Professor Sprout finished. Everyone was shocked, the smartest girl in Hogwarts with a handsome (pompous) graceful (arrogant) rich (idiotic) Malfoy (jerk), GETTING THE LOWEST SCORE?
Hermione's mouth was hanging open, so open that a fly might fly in without noticing that it had flew into someone's mouth and might be choken on. Draco remained surprisingly calm and sat with his arms folded. Silence was in the room; everyone was staring at her and Draco, their eyes fixed, waiting for the punishment.
"Erm," Hermione began, trying to break the silence, with something smart to say. But all she could come out with was -"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Slimy green goo was slipping down her bushy brown hair, and slipping down her shirt, and robes making her spine shiver. She could not believe this, the goo was all over her!! Even in her eyes . . . and her partner in co. was laughing his head off!!!! That is, until someone poured the goo straight into his mouth.
"Phtttt, phtttt!!! Ew!!! Cough, cough!!" Draco spluttered trying to get the goo off of his tongue. He stuck his tongue out and looked down at it, making his eyes go crooked.
"AH!!!!!!! MY TONGUE IS FLIPPIN' GWEEN!!!!!!!!!!"
Now it was time for Hermione to laugh. She began to laugh as loud as she could, making her stomach ache as Draco continued to try and fix his tongue by scraping his fingernail up and down it. Draco looked at Hermione indignantly.
"IS NOT FWUNNY!!!!!"
"Pppppppp - HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"I ED, IS NOT FWUNNY!!!!"
"HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA - eep!" Hermione stopped laughing and began to spit all over Draco, trying to get the filth out of her mouth. She stuck her tongue out and examined it, only to find that it was now green too.
"YOU FWEAK DWACO MAFOY!!!! YOU SWUPID IDIOT FWEAK!!!! WHY'D YOU THWOW WOO AT ME???" She said, her tongue still stuck out.
"CUS I WANNED OOO, DUH!!!!! OH NO . . . I CAN'D GET MY TONGUE BACK IN!!!!"
"I CAN'D EITHER!!"
They both looked at each other before exclaiming in the direction of Dr Granger and Professor Sprout: "PWOFESSOR, PWOFESSOR, WE'RE SWUCK!!!!!!!"
Everyone stared at the pair, Dr Granger looking utterly bemused, Professor Sprout was just trying hard not to laugh, she stuffed her man-eating handbag in her mouth, only to choke on the vines.
"Erm, well, Hermione honey," Dr Granger began hesitantly, "Look on the bright side, at least the green goes with the purple!!!"
Obviously, that was not the right thing to say, as Hermione began to rampage around the room, looking for something sharp to throw.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
All suggestions are still welcome and will always be! Okay, I do need some help, if someone who reads funny fics, or writes one, could please contact me! I need some ideas for a funny ending; I am no good with endings, so please contact me if you think you're up to it! (Oh, and I remind you, I AM STILL ON A BLOCKAGE!)
~Bye bye, spaghetti fries,
~Boo
PS. Okay, I've said this in my other fic, but I just want to say that I've watched the PETER PAN movie and IT IS REALLY GOOD, so if you have nothing to do, go see it! Also, Jason Isaacs is in it (guy who plays Lucius, he totally rocks), AND if you don't like Peter Pan, BUT YOU STILL HAVE NOTHING TO DO, go watch it just to see the cute lad that plays Peter, I really do think he is CUUUUUUUUUUTE!! Shame if you don't.
Summary: Hermione's aunt has been called to Hogwarts as she needs lots of children to be her 'guinea pigs' and of course, only Dumbledore is nice enough to let someone experiment with his students . . .
NARRATED BY MOI! MY MANY THANK YOU'S TO:
~ Loah ~ Lol, thanks for the review, my non-maniac laughing is because, well . . . I have my own reasons . . .
~ Fluff ~ Thank you, thank you! For the reviews (and how to delete chapters)! So I overuse stuff, but its not the first time! And like you even said, hyperness suits this fic! (I mean, if you can't handle my hyperness, but you can handle stupid experiments including a man becoming pregnant, then you have some SERIOUS problems . . .) Thanks again, HUGZ!!!
~ Pyroprincess4rmeverwood ~ Thanks, lol, most people said Dan or Tom, I like them all! Hehe, I know, how greedy am I . . . I will read your fics if I have the time (and if I haven't already), and thank you SOOOO much for telling me how to delete stuff. I thought there was a way, but being me, I have short-term memory so there you go, thanks again!
~Harryforeva ~ Yes, our Hermione certainly does have many talent . . . well what do you expect from little Miss Perfect? ;-) Thanks for the review!
~Smileyface1314 ~ Hehe, thanks, I'm happy that you enjoyed it! And I didn't have a white Christmas either, but then again, in England, that's less than impossible most of the time. Oh and have fun at New York!
~ Happigolucki616 ~ Lol, god, your reviewing is making me laugh! It's just the way that you get all muddled with everything . . . cracks me up!! Hehe . . . thank you so much for your review, and I am POSITIVE that I've read your fic now! THANK YOU GOD, I HAVE THE TIME!
~The counter ~ Erm, hey, I read your profile, and it said you like to count things (which I gathered) . . . you probably won't be reading this, but if you actually did, you might find that there is, maybe just a little bit of difference in my plot than any others. And anyway, if you want more variety, why don't you write some?
~Arcturus Black ~ Why thank you! That's very nice of you, and a huge compliment on my part ;-)
~ Phoebe-H ~ Lol, thank you for the review, and I hope this update was quick enough!! (And if it wasn't then . . . I'm terribly sorry)
~ Some12 ~ Evil moo (in my vocabulary anyway) means exactly what you said - evil cow. You know that sometimes the word 'cow' is meant to be rude (as it is here, except I didn't use the specific word) but some people might not like out right swearing, so I avoided it by putting something else. I don't like the word cow is swearing, but there's people like that out there. . . thank you for the review, and I hope the update was soon enough!! (Oh yeah, and thanks for reading it twice ^_~)
~Emma ~ Aw thanks, I was going to put this fic under romance and humour, but in case I let myself (and the reviewers/readers) down, I didn't, and I still haven't mainly because I haven't got the ended sorted yet (although that doesn't mean it's ending soon!)
~Freedome-rules ~ Thanks! I hope you enjoy this chapter and please, please, pleeeeease review afterwards, now that would make MY day!! ;-)
~Kellz ~ Thank you for the review, and you pick Tom? Lol, most people did, either Tom or Dan, but I like Rupert!! GO RUPERT!!
~StephanieWong ~ Thank you!! (I know I say that to everyone but I mean it) I should have read and reviewed your fic by now, and if I haven't then I apologise and I'll get round to reading it soon!
~Burgundyred ~ Sorry you're all the way down this list!! I was reading all the reviews and then I got bored of reading the longer ones first (laziness is a horrible thing really) so I did the shorter reviews first! Anyway, thanks for telling me what you particularly liked about it (might inspire me for something later) and I can only pray really hard that you'll like this chapter!!! Oh and thank you for telling me how to delete stuff, and yes, it is really stupid to put it over there!
~ Voldie On Varsity Track ~ Lol, so happy you enjoyed it!! Here's the next chapter, hope you like this one as much as the ones you've already read, and the ones to come!!
~Eventuality ~ Thank you SO much for your review, and taking the time to read this!! Here's the next chapter, hope you enjoy it (and review afterwards)!!!
~LythTaeraneth ~ Thanks for the review, and the cheer!!! You have no idea how much of an ego boosting I'm getting, but I'll try not to get my feet too big for its boots!!
~ Yoogrl ~ Thank you for your two reviews!! I will have, hopefully, emailed you about this new chapter by now!! Please enjoy this chapter and don't forget to review!
NO SPOILERS.
CHAPTER EIGHT: Another day, another experiment.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing that will remotely interest you for a minute for I am a remotely boring person who has hardly any sense of humour, therefore will find it hard to actually write something funny!!!! I hope that is understood that I do not own Harry Potter, oh the glorious Harry Potter (and Draco)!!! Oh and Ron too! Oh and Hermi of course, can't forget the main girl!
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Waking up in the morning is one of the hardest things to do, especially if you've just dreamt that you've woken up, then wake up to find that you have to struggle to get up all over again. Does this only affect us normal people, and not wizards or witches? The answer is, but of course, no. Why? Basically because we're all human beings, whether we like it or not.
That morning, Hermione awoke to her alarm beeping uncontrollably. She hit the snooze button, but that only resorted in her being woken up again five minutes later, and this time she found it even harder to get out of her warm and comfortable bed. That is, until Draco decided to pounce on Hermione and sit on her until she couldn't breathe.
Draco sprung up once he had blasted the alarm into shreds and managed to make Hermione shriek for dear life. He quickly ran into the bathroom with his clothes and a towel while Hermione sat up dozily and angrily, making herself turn awfully red.
"Malfoy, you stupid git! That's the SECOND ALARM you've blown up!!"
"And I assure you, it won't be the last!" Draco shouted over the sound of water running in the shower.
"Lucky I have a third one then!!!"
Hermione rolled her eyes, bloody Malfoy, always annoying the hell out of everybody soooo much that she just wanted to squeeze his little scrawny neck and make it go round and round and round and round then punch him in the privates . . . teehee, that certainly sounded more entertaining than having your Aunt try to murder you with her loony ideas disguised as experiments to trick innocent teenagers . . . .
"Hurry up in the shower Malfoy! Or I'll hex your pretty little head off!!"
Hermione thought she heard something similar to a snort as she made her bed carefully, ready to go at nine to the muggle studies area - room 13. (After she'd washed first, of course.) She sat on her bed and chucked her teddy bear up and down, only for it to hit her on the head, making her quite dizzy. The feelings she had felt yesterday on that kiss came flooding back to her, and it nearly made her blush so badly she felt like rushing under the covers of her bed. She decided against this idea almost immediately as she really didn't feel like making her bed again.
She hit herself hard on the head, making her dizzier. 'Remember Hermione, one more thought on that kissy thing with the blonde git and it's another whack for that glorious brain of yours' Hermione smiled in satisfaction as she felt herself obey . . . herself.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
"Now Hermione honey, I'm sorry I can't go with you today, I have to go with that trainee over there," Dr Granger pointed to a pale faced little girl who could be no larger than five. Hermione's heart stopped beating. A little girl, FIVE YEARS OLD, was being a professional . . . now she'd seen everything . . . then she realised it was the girls mother that was being trained, as a tall woman of 25 stood behind her daughter and glared at Hermione for staring.
"I'll take her Dr Granger!!! She's such a pleasure to have around. I ADORE what she's done with her hair. I mean, it's so BUSHY, how'd you get it like that?"
Serena frowned at Hermione's hair, taking a strand and twirling it around her finger like she was a kitten playing with a ball of yarn. Hermione could hear Draco snort from behind her. Oh how much she wanted to DIE right now. . .
"Now, Serena!!! You can't go on your own!! How about going with . . . Lee!!! OH LEE DARLING!!!!!"
The young wizard who had asked Hermione about her breakfast that day when Hermione had grown a beard, walked slowly over, pushing his glasses up as he stood in front of a beaming Dr Granger. (You know, the one that looks like Legolas LoTR)
"Lee, please take good care of Hermione, she is my niece after all!!! Oh, and Mr Malfoy of course."
Dr Granger stalked off without another word. She did, however, wink at Serena. Lee looked rather disappointed with being bundled down with Hermione, his employer's niece AND an annoying rich blonde AND a furiously blushing Serena. He sighed and looked down at his clipboard then looked back up at the three people who were either looking down at the floor trying to avoid all eye contact with him, or staring up at the ceiling as if it was the most interesting thing in the world OR yawning their head off and wishing they were anywhere BUT here (not exactly hard to guess which is which . . .)
"Now, we are to go to the quidditch pitch, yes . . . that's where the warm up is positioned, now please follow me . . . children." Lee muttered before speed walking off in one direction, Serena following him, her fingers twirling her hair absentmindedly. Draco and Hermione walked together silently. It wasn't like they didn't know the way to the quidditch pitch, they had, after all, been taught here at Hogwarts for SIX YEARS.
They arrived at the quidditch pitch, Lee looking impatient and snobbish, Serena blushing and trying desperately hard to wrack her brains to think of something good to say.
"What took you so long? I told you to keep up CHILDREN." Lee shook his head like he was very disappointed. Hermione could feel and hear Draco take a very deep breath next to her.
"Now your task for today is this obstacle course. All pairs are having this obstacle course but in different places. You children are lucky enough to have Hogwarts very own quidditch pitch. Now complete the obstacle course, TOGETHER. The pair with the highest score at the end of the day will get a prize and the lowest will get a punishment."
Lee pointed up to a very high wall of brick positioned towards the end of the quidditch pitch, near the goal posts.
"One of you go up there and one of you stay down here. The one on the top will be moving along this brick wall, and pushing those buttons on the edge - can you see them?"
"Yes, we're not bloody blind." Draco mumbled, resulting in a silent glaring contest with Lee.
"Now, the one at the bottom will be telling the one at the top which button to press, using this." Lee pointed to a screen just in front of the wall. "the television screen will flash a particular colour every five seconds after you've pressed each button. So, if you take ten seconds to press the first button, five seconds after, the television will flash another colour. There are five colours in total. Once you finish, a buzzer will sound and we shall move on to let another pair do the warm up as some of the pairs are actually still eating now. Understand children? Now which one shall be going up?"
Draco pushed Hermione forwards. She sent him a glare through the back of her head.
"Malfoy, you know bloody well that I'm scared of heights!" She mumbled quickly, stalking back to him and grabbing the front of his robes.
"Of course I know!" Draco muttered as if that was the most obvious thing in the world.
"You're the one that plays quidditch."
"I thought you said I bought my way onto the team?"
"Malfoy . . ."
"Okay, so it's you, Miss Hermione Granger, Dr Granger's niece?" Lee raised an eyebrow and thinned his lips as Hermione turned to stare at him. He took out his wand and was just about levitate Hermione up when someone interrupted.
"I'll do it!!" Serena jumped in, holding her wand up. She had tied pink ribbons onto the end of her wand, and it looked utterly ridiculous. Lee frowned.
"But it's a very complicated spell!"
"I can do it!" Serena stepped up to Hermione. Hermione looked shocked. Serena was going to kill her with her bad magic. She had heard from her Aunt that Serena wasn't awfully good at magic and that she had been chosen as an assistant because she talked a lot.
"No, no, please, I don't wanna die!!!" Hermione looked like she was going to cry as Serena started to flick her wand in an annoying sort of way, not to mention THE WRONG way.
"Please Hermione! I want to impress him!" Serena whispered and whined at the same time. Hermione, being the soft person she was, couldn't reject Serena and nodded as Serena grinned, took a step back, then took a deep breath. She examined her wand, then aimed it at Hermione.
"Right . . . erm . . . shooto mengardium!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
Now, what do you think happened? Did the spell turn Hermione into a pink piggy? Or did she land safely on the brick wall? Maybe she actually shot up and fell back down onto Draco? Well, technically, all of these are wrong. The spell did indeed work, but all too well. Hermione shot upwards and, instead of landing on the brick wall, she landed on, well actually, nothing. She was falling downwards, her head spinning, when her robe got caught on the quidditch hoop, the middle, and the tallest one.
"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!"
"Oh very clever Serena, I knew you wouldn't be able to use such a spell that I can use!" Lee shouted at Serena, who was on the verge of tears.
"Oh I'm sorry Lee, I should've let you do it!"
"Damn right you should have!"
"Oh shut up! We've got to get Granger down!"
Lee and Serena stopped and looked at Draco. He was frowning and squinting up at Hermione, trying to think of a way to get her down. Draco really could not be bothered to have that snob and that WOMAN fight, he would rather save his mudblood of a partner thanks.
"Accio Nimbus!" Draco called, summoning his Nimbus 3000 (yes, they were upgraded to 3000, and no, it isn't the year 3000 yet). He hopped on and flew upwards towards Hermione.
"Granger?" No reaction. Hermione's head was spinning. She didn't like heights, she never had, and this was making her very dizzy. She could hardly see Draco at all, all she saw was a whirl of blonde, black and green from the grass below.
"Ugh . . ."
Slowly, her robes were slipping from the golden hoop, very slowly . . . until finally, she slipped and fell down and down and down . . . because of the force of gravity! Luckily, Draco was prepared. He caught her on his broom, JUST. He was now riding hands free as he tried to position Hermione in front of him. Eventually, he managed to make her sit in front of him, his arms on the top of the broom, just in front of her.
Landing safely on the ground, Draco hopped off, carrying Hermione as he hobbled under her weight. Lee frowned again. He stormed over to Draco and the now fainted Hermione.
"Tut, tut children! That could have been dangerous!! You should have left everything to the professionals, like moi!" Before Draco could reply with something along the lines of 'If you're a professional, then I'm ugly', Lee had started to walk to the end of the quidditch pitch, scribbling furiously on his clipboard. Draco and Serena watched him go.
"Well, he is smart, and clever, and kind of a professional, we better follow him . . ." Serena sighed and started to walk in the direction where Lee had sped off. Draco watched for a minute, feeling more and more pissed off by the second. He sighed, and heaved Hermione over his shoulder, making her dangle upside down, her hair sweeping the floor (lucky he was taller than her, eh? Imagine the brain damage . . .).
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
"These broomsticks are for beginners, hence the name 'Brooms for beginners'. They were given to us by the well-known quidditch store 'Quality Quidditch Supplies' to test whether their qualities actually work or not. Now, Miss Granger, I know of your fear of heights, but as you are a beginner, you should test this broom anyway, it's more important than if you fall off!"
Lee said, as he brought out one broomstick. He handed it to Hermione, who began to look at the broom like it was the most bizarre thing in the world, which it probably was. He expected HER to ride this, this MONSTROSITY??? She had only just recovered from the warm up thanks.
The design for this broom was full of gadgets, a saddle was even fixed onto it, with a buckle to use like a seatbelt. The wood had slits where you could grip better with your hands, and there was even a wand pocket so you could use it incase of emergencies.
Hermione slid her wand into the pocket, and buckled herself in. Nervously, she kicked up from the ground and flew upwards, higher and higher until everything seemed like one of those model worlds with little figurines. You know, the Lego sort.
She began to feel slightly woozy, but continued to fly, trying to see whether this thing actually worked. Trying not to look around too much, she began to sing a song to see if it would distract her from the fact that she was about two hundred feet off the ground.
"Dumdeedumdeedum, look down and you'll die, dumdeedumdeedum, why oh why? Is it me? All the ruddy time . . . dumdeedumdeedum, flying is stupid, and I am so dizzy, someone please help me, I am so dizzy . . . dumdeedumdeedum."
. . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . .
CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!
Hermione opened her eyes. She was on the ground. 'Ohhhh, so that's why I felt like I was falling, DUH.' She wondered why she hadn't broken all her bones by now, and why she now had two pieces of wood in her hands. Fidgeting slightly, she felt something soft underneath her.
"Get off me Granger." A muffled mumble came from below her. Hermione shot up like there was no tomorrow, her face red with embarrassment. Drac slowly got up, holding his leg in pain. He scowled and gave her the most evil stare he could manage, making him look like a mangled orange.
"Great going Granger! I save you from a quidditch hoop and what do I get in return? Nothing but A BIG FAT PURPLE PRUNE SITTING ON MY BEAUTIFUL LEG!!!!!" Draco glared ferociously (don't think you can do that but nevermind . . .) at Hermione. She huffed herself up indignantly.
"Just because I'm purple that doesn't make me a prune!"
"Yeah, right, coughprunecough."
"YOU'RE THE PRUNE!!!"
"Hmm, and that's coming from someone who's PURPLE."
"Oh shut up, or I'll go tell all your cronies about what happened last night!"
"That will work no more!!! I thought about it and then decided that YOU wouldn't want Potty and co. finding out, so HA!!! Am I right, or am I right?"
"Argh . . . . you . . . PIG!"
"Pig am I? Is that the best you can come up with?"
"Piggy, pig, pig!! Oink, snort, oink!"
"Sounds like you're the pig to me."
"You're the pig!! PIG!!!!
"Fine then . . . . . . .oink."
"YOU ANNOYING INFURIATING BRATTY SNOTTY SNOBBY BLONDE PUREBLOOD SON OF A -
"Calm down children!! I'm afraid Miss Granger, your weight broke the broom. Maybe you should try to eat less breakfast tomorrow before doing any experiments."
If looks could kill, Lee would have died twice. Hermione was now purple and red, while Draco was just . . . pale, as always. Being posh is never good when you're around two angry teenagers.
"YOU SHUT UP!!"
They simultaneously shouted. Lee looked appalled at the language they had chosen to confront him with, Serena stayed in the corner, trying to be invisible (doing the 'I can't see you, you can't see me' thing).
"Children!!"
"And shut your crack 'ole with that children stuff!!! You, you . . . pimp!"
Draco shouted, his brain seemed blank and pimp seemed the only insult that was appropriate. Childish and immature it may be, but pimp is a word - but in this case, meaning annoying and horrible, associating with the word 'pimple'. Lee grumbled and thinned his lips like McGonagall, except in a more annoying way. He shook his fist in anger, then set his glasses straight even though they were already straight.
"Fine, let's go back to the muggle studies area to meet up with the others."
His voice sounded strangled, which made it all the more pleasurable for Draco.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
"Welcome all students!!" Dr Granger said, standing on the table so that she could be seen. To her right was Lee, looking stiff and angry in a . . . stiff way. To her left was Serena, a smile plastered onto her face like a Barbie doll.
Hermione and Draco must have been sitting at their two-seated desk in the muggles studies classroom 13 for at least an hour and a half by now. How many cups of milk she had drunk, Hermione really didn't know. Draco, however, had been spending most of his time looking at the people in white coats and rating their hair on a scale of one to ten. Finally, everyone had arrived, and Dr Granger was now making her announcement.
"For today's warm up, you should have all been told that whoever got the highest score, as in, the lowest time, was going to get a treat, whilst the people who got the lowest score would get a punishment. Now let this take place! Professor Sprout is the Professor that is with us today, so, please could you announce the people with the highest score who shall be getting the treat?"
Professor Sprout stood proudly and took out a piece of paper from her hair. She coughed a few times before beginning. "The pair with the lowest time of thirty seconds, is . . . Ron Weasley and Lisa Turpin!!! Congratulations my dearys!!"
There was a round of applause, as Ron and Lisa stood. Hermione looked over at Ron who seemed dazed and pleased at the same time, his ears red with happiness. Lisa looked pleased as well, although not as dazed and confused as Ron.
"Your prize shall be," Professor Sprout continued, "a year's supply of chocolate frogs, and VIP tickets to the chocolate frog factory!!!!!!! There are six tickets, one for you two, and four for two more pairs."
If it was possible that Ron could look more blissful and confused, then he was. Hermione prayed that having Malfoy as her dim-witted sidekick wouldn't ruin her chances to get Ron to pick her as one of the pairs to go to that chocolate frog factory, ANYTHING to get her out of her ingenious aunt's murder scheme disguised as innocent experiments . . .
"Now, the pair with the lowest score is . . . Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy, who didn't even do it!" Professor Sprout finished. Everyone was shocked, the smartest girl in Hogwarts with a handsome (pompous) graceful (arrogant) rich (idiotic) Malfoy (jerk), GETTING THE LOWEST SCORE?
Hermione's mouth was hanging open, so open that a fly might fly in without noticing that it had flew into someone's mouth and might be choken on. Draco remained surprisingly calm and sat with his arms folded. Silence was in the room; everyone was staring at her and Draco, their eyes fixed, waiting for the punishment.
"Erm," Hermione began, trying to break the silence, with something smart to say. But all she could come out with was -"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Slimy green goo was slipping down her bushy brown hair, and slipping down her shirt, and robes making her spine shiver. She could not believe this, the goo was all over her!! Even in her eyes . . . and her partner in co. was laughing his head off!!!! That is, until someone poured the goo straight into his mouth.
"Phtttt, phtttt!!! Ew!!! Cough, cough!!" Draco spluttered trying to get the goo off of his tongue. He stuck his tongue out and looked down at it, making his eyes go crooked.
"AH!!!!!!! MY TONGUE IS FLIPPIN' GWEEN!!!!!!!!!!"
Now it was time for Hermione to laugh. She began to laugh as loud as she could, making her stomach ache as Draco continued to try and fix his tongue by scraping his fingernail up and down it. Draco looked at Hermione indignantly.
"IS NOT FWUNNY!!!!!"
"Pppppppp - HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"I ED, IS NOT FWUNNY!!!!"
"HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA - eep!" Hermione stopped laughing and began to spit all over Draco, trying to get the filth out of her mouth. She stuck her tongue out and examined it, only to find that it was now green too.
"YOU FWEAK DWACO MAFOY!!!! YOU SWUPID IDIOT FWEAK!!!! WHY'D YOU THWOW WOO AT ME???" She said, her tongue still stuck out.
"CUS I WANNED OOO, DUH!!!!! OH NO . . . I CAN'D GET MY TONGUE BACK IN!!!!"
"I CAN'D EITHER!!"
They both looked at each other before exclaiming in the direction of Dr Granger and Professor Sprout: "PWOFESSOR, PWOFESSOR, WE'RE SWUCK!!!!!!!"
Everyone stared at the pair, Dr Granger looking utterly bemused, Professor Sprout was just trying hard not to laugh, she stuffed her man-eating handbag in her mouth, only to choke on the vines.
"Erm, well, Hermione honey," Dr Granger began hesitantly, "Look on the bright side, at least the green goes with the purple!!!"
Obviously, that was not the right thing to say, as Hermione began to rampage around the room, looking for something sharp to throw.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
All suggestions are still welcome and will always be! Okay, I do need some help, if someone who reads funny fics, or writes one, could please contact me! I need some ideas for a funny ending; I am no good with endings, so please contact me if you think you're up to it! (Oh, and I remind you, I AM STILL ON A BLOCKAGE!)
~Bye bye, spaghetti fries,
~Boo
PS. Okay, I've said this in my other fic, but I just want to say that I've watched the PETER PAN movie and IT IS REALLY GOOD, so if you have nothing to do, go see it! Also, Jason Isaacs is in it (guy who plays Lucius, he totally rocks), AND if you don't like Peter Pan, BUT YOU STILL HAVE NOTHING TO DO, go watch it just to see the cute lad that plays Peter, I really do think he is CUUUUUUUUUUTE!! Shame if you don't.