CRAZY LUNATIC EXPERIMENTS
Summary: Hermione's aunt has been called to Hogwarts as she needs lots of children to be her 'guinea pigs' and of course, only Dumbledore is nice enough to let someone experiment with his students . . .
NARRATED BY MOI!
OKAY, RIGHT, SO, SO, SOOOOOOO, SORRY FOR MISSING OUT SOMEBODY'S NAME ON MY LAST THANKS!!! AHHHHH (namely, burgundyred - go read her fics!) AND SORRY IF I'VE DONE IT BEFORE AND YOU HAVEN'T SAID! I DO NOT MEAN IT!!!
Now to thank the other people:
~ Anonymous ~ Thanks for reviewing; I know the Malfoy thing is weird, but it makes a story, and I never did say this story was realistic . . . at all. Lol, yeah, being Hermione does suck, but she's not as colourful now. Hope you read and enjoy this chappie dude!
~LythTaeraneth ~ Thank you SO much for your review!! You weren't completely wrong about Little Draco . . . as you shall find out in this chapter! HAHA!! Thanks again!
~ Some12 ~ Lol, thanks!! The reassurance that I did the right thing is so nice . . . lol.
~ Serena ~ Thank you so very much!!! I hope you continue to read, and also, thank you for the review on 'Fantasy' too! That was so nice of you . . . I only thought that ending was crappy because it was so soppy, I'm trying my best not to make the ending of this fic (which is nowhere near now) soppy, actually, I have no idea how this thing is going to end . . .
~Paprika90 ~ Do you mean cured as in 'Little Draco cured' or do you mean some other type of cured? I'm confused . . . and if it was 'Little Draco cured' then look at the chapter title! Thanks for reviewing!
~burgundyred ~ Hehe, did you see the note at the top? Just wondering . . . lol, I quite like the oompa loompas! I think they're so funny . . . but no, I wasn't really thinking about oompa loompas when I was writing about Nibby. The kiss I put in cus' well . . cus' I don't know! And you know Ron (well not personally but that's not the point), he likes to eat, most of the time. Thanks for reviewing!
~ smileyface1314 ~ Thanks for reviewing! . . . I kind of used your suggestion? Really? Well that's good! But I really can't remember what your suggestion was, lol. To be perfectly honest, I don't have a clue how he got the disease either . . . and I wrote it! Lol . . .
~Harryforeva ~ Yay, you reviewed! And yeah, I know it was kind of . . . spur of the moment, but I really wanted to write a chapter about it, so you know. I had a suspicious feeling you wouldn't like the chocolaty goodness of it all cus' of you said before!
~Fluff ~ aw, thanks! Here's my update, I really hope you do enjoy it (and in case you were wondering, there's more of 'Little Draco' in this one - hence the chapter title)!! Now you got to promise me you'll update soon too!!
~Happigolucki616 ~ Its really nice of you to review two chapters! Thanks! Times two!! Lol, Draco might be a jerk ass now, but he wasn't always like that! Which his four-year-old self proves!! Thanks again, I hope you read and enjoy (and review) this chapter!!
~pyroprincess4rmeverwood ~ Thanks for reviewing, and yes, I have reviewed your new chapter already except when I reviewed I couldn't be bothered to sign in, or use capitals, so I was 'iluvronweasley' and not ILUVRONWEASLEY, hehe . . .
'= thoughts, "=speech
NO SPOILERS ~ Notice: First line needs to be sung for full effect.
CHAPTER ELEVEN: Little Draco
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, as you all know. But I did go and buy the Harry Potter PS2 game: The Chamber of secrets, so I guess I own that . . . but come to think of it, I've owned that for ages . . . okay, now I'm confusing myself with my pointless ranting . . .
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"I'm singing, in my pants . . . I'm singing in my panties . . . oh what a wonderful feeling! I'll wear them again . . ."
"Groan . . ."
'WHACK'
Hermione didn't even need to look up to realise that she had hit Draco with her pillow square, in the jaw. Maybe she should try for the chaser position . . . . . . . . . . Oh yes, she couldn't even USE a broom, there's the problem . . .
It was about 3:30 in the morning, and Draco had turned back into his four year old self about half an hour ago. He couldn't get to sleep (supposedly) and was now trying to get her to play with him . . . at three thirty in the bloody morning.
Hermione felt something soft hit her back. Obviously Draco had just thrown the pillow back at her, and she had to admit - he had good aim for the mind and ability of a four-year-old imbecile.
"Oof." A heavy weight known as Draco pounced and jumped on her, sumo style!
"I SAID PLAY WITH MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"
"I might if you GET OFF ME," She screamed into her duvet cover. He was such an annoying brat, even more so than he was before this stupid 'disease' happened. At this rate, she'd be old and grey before she was twenty-two . . . .
Draco scrambled off her and looked at her with that goofy grin stuck on his face as she sighed and got up, wrapping the duvet tight around herself to keep her warm.
"Ugh . . . Malfoy, ONE game and then I'm going to sleep again."
"NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! THREE GAMES AT LEAST, THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"
"Whatever, just leave me alone afterwards."
"OKEY DOKEY!!!"
"And stop shouting, you're going to wake everyone up."
Draco nodded and grinned then tugged Hermione by the duvet and over to the window where the rain was pouring down onto the glass. He opened the window and stuck his head out, making his hair wet and scruffy.
"Now this game is one I've just made up, it's called rain!!! I made it up because your hair is bushy," Draco shouted as he stuck his head back in, his hair now sopping wet and stuck to his head. He pushed Hermione's head out, making her splutter at the taste of salty rain.
"And the point of this is . . .???"
Draco tugged her head back in and dragged her to the bathroom, then stuck her head into the sink. Hermione shrieked as he got a dog combing brush from nowhere and began to scrub at her head.
"MALFOY YOU DOPE WHAT ARE YOU DOING??????"
"Scrubbing your head, duh!!"
Oh dear . . . the cute voice that little Draco always had had gone and was replaced with the deep, harsh and slightly less annoying voice of normal Draco. She screamed and tried to nudge him off while trying not to drown in the water that was now spilling from the tap.
"When on earth did you turn back????"
"I woke up to see your head out of the window you freak, now keep still!!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
She squirmed harder and used her hands to splash water all over him, he shrieked girlishly (to her delight).
"Why you little . . ."
Draco grabbed a sponge and soaked it with water, then threw it at Hermione's body and began to scrub at her head again, now even harder than before.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEKK!!!! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO MALFOY??? RIP MY HAIR OUT?? AS IF IT ISN'T BAD ENOUGH!!!!"
"Oh shut up, if your hair did fall out, I'd be doing you a favour!!"
"Let go off me -
Hermione twisted around, then realised that that was one biiiiiiig mistake as Draco continued to scrub hard on her face, pretending that he didn't know she had turned around.
"Gah . . . stop . . . pppht . . . . scrubbing!!!"
Draco stopped and did a little dance on the bathroom floor.
"Hehe . . . Granger's at my mercy, Granger's at my mercy . . . no, not annoying enough . . . I know a song that'll get on your nerves! Get on your nerves! Get on your nerves! I know a song that will get on your -
Like Jackie Chan, or Hong Kong Fu-ui (or however you spell it), Hermione twisted Draco's hand around so that he was yelling in pain, and moaning to try and get her to release him. She pushed his head into the sink with her free hand then took the dog brush from Draco's hand and began to scrub at his blonde hair, making him cry out in anger.
"THIS IS ABUSE I TELL YOU, ABUSE!!!!"
"YOU STARTED IT!!"
"BUT YOU HAIR IS BUSHY, MINE IS PERFECT, THERE'S A DIFFERENCE!!!!"
Hermione looked around for something that would make this situation all the more fun. Then, she saw it; a bottle of wizarding shampoo labelled 'Vanity boosts, for extra volume', then, in little tiny letters underneath, 'use no more than one squirt at a time'. Hermione stretched out to grab it and then unscrewed the bottle lid (ignoring the nozzle).
"Haha Malfoy! Fear the wrath of Hermione Granger!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" Draco screamed girlishly once more and continued to wriggle and moan in vain as Hermione poured the entire contents of the bottle onto his head and began scrubbing.
~LATER . . . and Little Draco is back! Oh yeah, and the scrubbing has stopped~
"Malfoy, I'm going to sleep now."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, YOU SAID YOU'D PLAY THREE GAMES WITH ME, IT'S ONLY BEEN ONE!!!"
"Malfoy, I'm sopping wet, and my hair is now even bushier thanks to you, leave me alone!!!"
"NOOOOOOOOOO, YOU PROMISED!!!!"
"Technically . . ."
"DON'T YOU USE FANCY WORDS WITH ME!!!!! PLAY WITH ME OR DIE!!!!!!!!!"
Who knew little Draco could be so ferocious? Then again, he was brought up by a maniac deatheater that probably brought him to see him murder innocent people . . . suddenly, Hermione had an idea, a brilliant and devious idea that even Draco would be proud to have.
"Now Draco, I will play with you, ONLY if you play the game I want to play."
Little Draco nodded eagerly and sat down on the carpet, as did Hermione.
"The game I want to play is hide and seek."
"How'd you play that?"
"Well, you go hide, not in this room, just anywhere in this castle, and then I go to find you after I've counted to fifty, okay?"
Draco nodded and got up, practically tripping over his own feet to try and reach the door, when Hermione had a sudden brainwave. Now, she wanted to embarrass him, but not embarrass him that much so that he would NEVER live it down, no, she wouldn't stoop to his level . . . maybe somewhere close, but never AS low anyway.
"Malfoy, come over here," Draco obediently did, "Take this robe and wear it okay? Good."
Draco took his school robe, hurriedly put it on and then rushed through the open door, leaving Hermione in the dark. Instead of counting to fifty, she went over to her digital clock and had a look at what time it was. Her clock read 4:39am. She yawned and stretched, climbing into her still warm bed, and wrapping herself back into her duvet.
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"Er, Hermione," Harry said uncertainly as he chewed his piece of toast, "What exactly did you DO last night?"
Hermione raised her eyebrows. It was now morning and she was finally able to have a conversation with her two bestest buddies. She sipped her milk and licked her lips.
"I was just playing with Malfoy."
Harry and Ron couldn't look more horrified.
"When you say . . . playing, what exactly do you mean by that?" Harry asked testily as Ron gawped at her, bacon dropping from his open mouth back onto his plate.
"I mean, playing."
"Playing what though? Roll and tumble? WHAT??????"
"Calm down Harry, we just played some things."
"That doesn't make me feel any better about this you know."
"Yes well, why do you ask?"
"Let's just say . . . I had problems sleeping because of certain strange noises."
"Oooo, has the ghosts of Christmas past come to haunt you? Tut, tut, Harry, and it's not even Christmas yet."
"No . . . I mean, disgusting MOANING coming in the direction of YOUR bedroom."
"Oh, that was Malfoy."
I swallow my words, Harry and Ron looked even more horrified than they did before. Ron was now choking because he couldn't swallow the amount of scrambled egg that he had stuffed in his mouth. Harry was confused, he was horrified and trying to help Ron at the same time, ending in a wimpy pat on the back for Ron.
"Don't worry you guys, I don't mean playing as in . . . the playing your thinking of. That's just gross . . . EW, now you got a vision of a naked Malfoy in my head!!!"
"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEER!!!!!!!!!"
All heads turned to the door as an angry Draco burst through the door, red with anger. He stormed over to Hermione, who had just put down her beaker of milk. She calmly turned around as Ron tumbled to the floor, as red as his hair.
"Granger, pray tell me why on earth I woke up in a broom closet, in only my boxers and a robe??????" Draco asked, trying his best to keep calm. Hermione stared at him, ignoring the gagging noises behind her.
Hermione continued to stare, making Draco even more annoyed of her. He stretched his hands forward, trying his hardest to try not to strangle her as she filled a spare beaker with water and held it in her hands.
"GRANGER?????"
"Yes?"
"CARE TO ANSWER MY QUESTION?????"
"No."
Draco stood and raised an eyebrow at her. Hermione looked at him and chucked the water over him.
"Ppppppppphttt . . . . and that was for?"
"The shampoo in your hair."
Draco looked horrified as he placed both his hands on his hair and began to stroke it to see what was in it. He looked at the white foam in his hands and them scowled at Hermione, who was now looking down at the floor watching Ron choke.
"Granger, you . . . you . . . you ruddy . . . . UGH, I can't even call you a prune anymore, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO CHANGE BACK INTO NORMAL COLOUR AT A TIME LIKE THIS YOU STUPID GRANGER SKIN!!!!!"
And with that, Draco hurried off to wash. Hermione looked up, shrugged, then turned back to the floor, now seeing Harry (who was looking at Ron worriedly) and Lisa.
"Okay, Padma, after I say three now, one . . . two . . . three!!!"
Padma and Lisa did a runner up to Ron and sat on his stomach, making him spit out a big wad of scrambled egg. He was, however, still purple as he staggered up, looking dizzy and dazed. He sighed and saw himself in the puddle of water Hermione had made.
"God, I hope I'm not gonna be purple all day!!!"
"Ron," Hermione said, throwing a carton of fruit juice over to him, "Try having to be me for the past week."
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"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!!!! "
Hermione cringed as she heard that all too familiar voice. The time was now about one in the afternoon, she was in a spare classroom near the muggle studies area, and she was just about to finish her warm-up, which was to dangle from the ceiling and read complicated sentences back to front and upside down. It was hard, but being the intelligent girl she was, it wasn't THAT hard.
Draco rushed into the room, angry as hell. Lee, who was once again one of the people in charge, and Dr Granger (Serena being too choked up to do anything near Lee, therefore meaning she couldn't even wet herself near him) turned to Draco and tried their best not to laugh. Hermione, however, was nowhere near as polite.
"HA! Malfoy, what happened to your wig?"
"YOU IS WHAT HAPPENED TO MY WIG, I mean, HAIR!!!!"
"How exactly can 'I' happen to your wig?"
"YOUR STUPID SHAMPOO MADE AN AFRO OF ME!!!!!"
Draco shouted. Hermione resisted the urge to laugh. Draco now had his beautiful head of golden fair hair, in a bushy, big afro. 'Guess that extra volume shampoo really did mean EXTRA volume . . .'
"Honestly Malfoy, you should calm down, that afro suits you, really it does. Makes your wig less obvious."
"Oh shut it Granger, super spello gel won't even hold this THING down, nor my wand. THIS IS A COMPLETE NIGHTMARE."
"Ah, now you see my world."
Draco rolled his eyes and crossed his arms just as Lee waved his wand, making Hermione fall from the ceiling and crash into some pillows underneath her.
"Ugh . . . what did you put in these pillows?"
"Oh sorry Hermione honey," Dr Granger said as she struggled to help her niece up, "We couldn't quite afford nice soft feathers, so we had to fill the pillows with pieces of rock candy instead."
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"To be perfectly honest, I think today's experiment will be MUCH more fun than the last! Which, by the way Hermione dear, was yesterday, when we all had to see which man-eating plant was poisonous and which wasn't!!! It was very fun, such a shame you weren't here really . . . anyway, as I was saying, today's experiment shall include something us muggles know as diving!! Now, what do you wizard folk call it?"
Dr Granger looked around. Ron raised an eyebrow and a hand, as no one else bothered.
"Yes Mr Weasley."
"Diving?"
She blinked at him blankly for a few seconds until she smiled brightly. "Okay, if that's what you say Mr Weasley!!! Anyway, we shall all be diving, pair by pair, into the lake of Hogwarts!! We have been given pills, made from what we don't know, BUT we know it lasts for two hours maximum!! To make this project even more fun, we have asked our Professor Flitwick, to give every pair a prize!! That is, depending on whether they find the glowing golden orb of well, waterproof electricity . . . it is hidden!! Oh, but to make it harder, we will use a charm to tie the pair together! So team work will do you good!!!"
Dr Granger smiled and nodded to Professor Flitwick, who was holding the sorting hat upside down. He waved his wand, and the hat began to talk.
"Yawn, first pair shall be the odd couple, Miss Hermione Granger and Mr Draco Malfoy . . . please remind me never to work over time again . . ."
The Sorting hat began snoring as Hermione groaned. She felt her hand being magically bound to Draco's, the fact that he was running away from the white coated people with the pills to make them breathe underwater didn't help either.
"Malfoy - AH!!!"
Hermione was being dragged through nearby bushes by the running and squealing Draco. 'Stupid Malfoy, doesn't he know that he could run PAST the bushes instead of THROUGH them????'
She hung onto a tree and finally managed to make Draco stop. He screamed and tried to pretend he knew kung fu. Hermione however, was having a psychic brainwave, could it be that little Draco was back?
"Now Mr Malfoy, calm down, they're only pills, not poisonous at all!!!" Dr Granger said slowly, trying to sound convincing . . . and failing miserably.
"WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! NO PILLIES!!! I WANT HERMI!!!!"
Hermione groaned, why Hermi of all names? WHY OH WHY???? She patted Draco on the back. He spun around. The moment he saw her, his face contorted into a wobbly smile. He pounced on her and hugged her tightly.
"Gasp . . . Malfoy . . . Draco . . . LET GO OF ME."
"Okay."
Draco let go and continued to grin goofily at her as everyone burst out laughing. Dr Granger smiled and winked at Hermione, making dear old Hermi groan all the more. She grabbed the pills off the nearest person and gulped them down, turning to Draco.
"Look, I've had these so you will too, now EAT!"
Draco nodded as Hermione stuffed them down his throat. She now turned to her Aunt Emi, who cowered at her niece's ferocious, and scarily lion like gaze.
"Now Aunt Emi, tell me honestly, DO THESE PILLS WORK??"
"Yes, of course . . . honey, they've already been tested, we're just checking that the results are correct, after all, do you really think that we would risk your lives for these tests?" Dr Granger gabbled. 'Yes . . .'
Hermione went over to Professor Flitwick (who looked like he was going to faint soon from the vicious look on Hermione's face) and he immediately used some sort of charm to make Draco and Hermione dressed in swimsuits.
Hermione could feel everyone staring at them, Draco still smiling dozily at her. Inspite of herself, she still held her breath before jumping into the black lake, followed by Draco who did exactly what she did.
Sighs of relief echoed around as soon as everyone was sure that Hermione had really gone. Serena peered over Dr Granger's shoulder, and, sensing that it was now safe, she wiped the sweat from her forehead.
"God, I never knew she had THAT sort of temper!!" Serena cried.
"No, neither did I!!" Dr Granger agreed.
"HA!!!" Ron snorted, "Try being me and Harry for a day!!"
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Hermione opened her eyes, she could see under the water . . . under the murky, disgustingly filthy water. She shuddered.
"You know Hermi, this water is gross, you smart, you know any spellies??"
Draco was even grinning underwater. Oh how she preferred grumpy old Draco than little Draco with no sense whatsoever. Why did the pills enable you to talk underwater as well as breathe?? Couldn't they just shut you up?
She sighed and looked around, what she needed now was to find that golden orb, so she could get the hell out of here. Maybe the merpeople would know . . . ah, but then again, SHE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO SPEAK MER-THINGY. There's a problem . . .
"Hermi, what that?"
Hermione looked in the direction Draco had been pointing to. There, in a cluster of what seemed to be seaweed, was a glowing golden orb, THE glowing golden orb that they needed.
She grinned and began to swim downwards towards the seaweed. Maybe little Draco wasn't so bad after all, sure, he was even more obnoxious, spoilt, annoying and down right pathetic, than big Draco, but she figured with a bit of suffocating, drowning and the always healthy strangling, he would soon learn.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
"What? What is it? Are you drowning?"
Draco shook his head as he gulped, a terrified expression sprawled on his place. Hermione sighed, 'Damn'
"ITS, ITS, IT'S THE REVENGE OF THE SEAWEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!" He shrieked, hiding behind Hermione, or, trying to hide behind Hermione. As their hands were tied together, it only resulted in him going round, and round and round in circles, over and over again.
"GAH . . . STOP . . . STOP!!!!!"
Draco stopped and began to wail loudly, bogie beginning to drip down from his nose. "I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY I MADE YOU DIZZY HERMI!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! I REALLY LIKE YOU HERMI, I'M SORRY!!!!!!!!"
"That's okay, just shut the hell up!!! Anyway, back to the point . . . you're scared of seaweed? Stupid, green, sloppy, edible, bogie-like seaweed??"
"Yes . . ." Draco whimpered, sniffing then spluttering as he had just sniffed in a whole lot of water.
"Oh clever!! How are we supposed to get that golden orb then?"
"I have an idea, hows abouts we head butt it?"
"Head butt it?"
"Yes, head butt it."
"HEAD BUTT IT?"
"YES!! HEAD BUTT IT!!!"
Slowly, Hermione nodded.
"You head butt it Hermi, you got a bigger head."
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The experiments were finally over for the day, Big Draco was back, and the sun was slowly setting. All 7th years were sat on separate picnic benches on the Hogwarts quidditch pitch, all eating and chatting cheerfully . . . until Dr Granger silenced them all by wanting to announce something.
"Hello children! Now that was fun was it not? I know it was! Could all pairs who managed to retrieve the golden orb from the water please stand by Professor Flitwick for their prize!! The prize being any wish they want!"
Dr Granger drifted off as practically everyone ran towards tiny Mr Flitwick, making him scream in terror (think giant mob of angry lawyers running to sue you cus you said you owned Harry Potter . . .)
Hermione and Draco were not first in line. They were last, but by the time they got there, they had decided whose wish this would be by a series of rock, paper, scissors. Draco won.
"Now Mr Malfoy, do you wish me to rid you of that horrendous afro?"
Up until now, Draco had actually forgotten about his afro. Remembering it all didn't exactly make him feel peachy.
"No actually, and thank you SOOO much for reminding me that I had AN AFRO IN THE FIRST PLACE. Anyway, what I want is to be rid of my childish half."
"And which half may that be Mr Malfoy?"
"THE FOUR YEAR OLD HALF OF COURSE."
"Oh yes . . . of course . . .I'll try my best Mr Malfoy, but I only know charms, and not miracles . . ."
Professor Flitwick gave a flick, a swish and a tweak before Draco rose in the air, glowing purple. He prayed that he wouldn't become another Hermione . . . as Hermione watched from the safety of the floor, she saw Draco become two blobs of purple things. One of them landed back on the floor and stopped glowing.
"Whoa, that was ONE HELL OF A ride!!" Draco steadied himself, trying to walk without being dizzy . . . and then walking into a tree. Meanwhile, Hermione was still staring at the other blob of purple light. It slowly lowered itself onto the floor, and out popped . . . a small child with platinum blonde hair, blue eyes, and looking about four years old. He looked around for a minute before blinking and staring straight at Hermione.
"HERMI!!!" Little Draco pounced on Hermione and hugged her tightly, "You're a lot taller than you used to be you know."
"YOU STUPID LITTLE MAN!! I TOLD YOU TO GET RID OF HIM, NOT SEPARATE HIM FROM ME YOU ARSE!!"
"Language now Malfoy! We have a child on the premises!"
"Shut up Granger, now please explain to me Mr nice Flitwick -
"I'm sorry Mr Malfoy, but that's the best I can do. I'm afraid you'll just have to deal with it!!"
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Evening was upon the students of Hogwarts, and all everyone wanted to do was have a nice early night and dream of dreams in peace and harmony . . . shame there was no such thing as peace and harmony in Hermione's world.
Hermione was in her room reading Hogwarts: A History, whilst Big Draco was trying to get some sleep. Professor Flitwick and Dr Granger had decided that Little Draco would have to stay with Hermione and Draco, seeing as he wouldn't let go of her hair. Little Draco was now bouncing on Draco's bed, occasionally treading on Draco's head just for some sort of effect.
"PLAY WID ME!!!!!!!"
"No."
"PLAY WID ME!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!"
"No."
"Fine then . . . . DADDY!!!"
"I'M NOT YOUR BLIMMIN' DAD."
"Yes you are."
"No I'm not."
"YES YOU ARE!"
"Whose mummy then?"
"HERMI MUMMY!!!!!!"
Draco (Big Draco I will refer to as Draco, little Draco = Little Draco) shot up as Little Draco skipped over to Hermione, and began to drag her along the floor towards him.
"MUMMY KISS DADDY!!! DADDY KISS MUMMY!!!"
"NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!"
"YES, YES, YES, YES, YES!!!"
"I AM NOT KISSING HER!!"
"Yes you are!"
"No I'm not!"
"YES YOU ARE!"
"NO I'M NOT!"
"MUMMY AND DADDY SITTING IN A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, FIRST COMES LOVE, THEN COMES MARRIAGE, THEN COMES ME IN A BABY CARRIAGE!!!"
"YOU ANNOYING, BRATTY, LITTLE -
"Er Malfoy, you do realise you're insulting yourself?"
"AAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!"
"Daddy, da, da, da, da, da, da, ooohhhhhh mummy, mummy, da, da, da, da, da, da, you are IN LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!!!"
"WE ARE NOT!"
"You will be daddy, teehee, see, you're going to sleep in same beddy! Me sleep in Mummy's beddy, you sleep in that beddy!!! BYEEEEEEE!!"
Little Draco hurriedly scurried away towards Hermione's bed. He spread himself out onto it, making sure he took up all the room, then began to snore loudly.
Hermione and Draco watched him, she groaned, this was going to be one hell of a night . . .
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So yeah, this was kind of forced, but I needed to try and get this up . . . please review! Once again, suggestions for experiments are still very welcome; I actually need some, because my own brain has kind of malfunctioned. Anyway, please review to tell me what you thought!!!
~ RUPERT SO TOTALLY ROCKS!!
~Me person.
PS. Incase anyone is wondering, I AM DEFINITELY KEEPING LITTLE DRACO HERE FOR A WHILE YET!! He is to play a very important part in this fic (for the romance, hint, hint) and he might even be here until the END of this fic!!
PPS. Hey dudes, just to say IT SNOWED TODAY!!! IT FINALLY SNOWED!!!
Summary: Hermione's aunt has been called to Hogwarts as she needs lots of children to be her 'guinea pigs' and of course, only Dumbledore is nice enough to let someone experiment with his students . . .
NARRATED BY MOI!
OKAY, RIGHT, SO, SO, SOOOOOOO, SORRY FOR MISSING OUT SOMEBODY'S NAME ON MY LAST THANKS!!! AHHHHH (namely, burgundyred - go read her fics!) AND SORRY IF I'VE DONE IT BEFORE AND YOU HAVEN'T SAID! I DO NOT MEAN IT!!!
Now to thank the other people:
~ Anonymous ~ Thanks for reviewing; I know the Malfoy thing is weird, but it makes a story, and I never did say this story was realistic . . . at all. Lol, yeah, being Hermione does suck, but she's not as colourful now. Hope you read and enjoy this chappie dude!
~LythTaeraneth ~ Thank you SO much for your review!! You weren't completely wrong about Little Draco . . . as you shall find out in this chapter! HAHA!! Thanks again!
~ Some12 ~ Lol, thanks!! The reassurance that I did the right thing is so nice . . . lol.
~ Serena ~ Thank you so very much!!! I hope you continue to read, and also, thank you for the review on 'Fantasy' too! That was so nice of you . . . I only thought that ending was crappy because it was so soppy, I'm trying my best not to make the ending of this fic (which is nowhere near now) soppy, actually, I have no idea how this thing is going to end . . .
~Paprika90 ~ Do you mean cured as in 'Little Draco cured' or do you mean some other type of cured? I'm confused . . . and if it was 'Little Draco cured' then look at the chapter title! Thanks for reviewing!
~burgundyred ~ Hehe, did you see the note at the top? Just wondering . . . lol, I quite like the oompa loompas! I think they're so funny . . . but no, I wasn't really thinking about oompa loompas when I was writing about Nibby. The kiss I put in cus' well . . cus' I don't know! And you know Ron (well not personally but that's not the point), he likes to eat, most of the time. Thanks for reviewing!
~ smileyface1314 ~ Thanks for reviewing! . . . I kind of used your suggestion? Really? Well that's good! But I really can't remember what your suggestion was, lol. To be perfectly honest, I don't have a clue how he got the disease either . . . and I wrote it! Lol . . .
~Harryforeva ~ Yay, you reviewed! And yeah, I know it was kind of . . . spur of the moment, but I really wanted to write a chapter about it, so you know. I had a suspicious feeling you wouldn't like the chocolaty goodness of it all cus' of you said before!
~Fluff ~ aw, thanks! Here's my update, I really hope you do enjoy it (and in case you were wondering, there's more of 'Little Draco' in this one - hence the chapter title)!! Now you got to promise me you'll update soon too!!
~Happigolucki616 ~ Its really nice of you to review two chapters! Thanks! Times two!! Lol, Draco might be a jerk ass now, but he wasn't always like that! Which his four-year-old self proves!! Thanks again, I hope you read and enjoy (and review) this chapter!!
~pyroprincess4rmeverwood ~ Thanks for reviewing, and yes, I have reviewed your new chapter already except when I reviewed I couldn't be bothered to sign in, or use capitals, so I was 'iluvronweasley' and not ILUVRONWEASLEY, hehe . . .
'= thoughts, "=speech
NO SPOILERS ~ Notice: First line needs to be sung for full effect.
CHAPTER ELEVEN: Little Draco
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, as you all know. But I did go and buy the Harry Potter PS2 game: The Chamber of secrets, so I guess I own that . . . but come to think of it, I've owned that for ages . . . okay, now I'm confusing myself with my pointless ranting . . .
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"I'm singing, in my pants . . . I'm singing in my panties . . . oh what a wonderful feeling! I'll wear them again . . ."
"Groan . . ."
'WHACK'
Hermione didn't even need to look up to realise that she had hit Draco with her pillow square, in the jaw. Maybe she should try for the chaser position . . . . . . . . . . Oh yes, she couldn't even USE a broom, there's the problem . . .
It was about 3:30 in the morning, and Draco had turned back into his four year old self about half an hour ago. He couldn't get to sleep (supposedly) and was now trying to get her to play with him . . . at three thirty in the bloody morning.
Hermione felt something soft hit her back. Obviously Draco had just thrown the pillow back at her, and she had to admit - he had good aim for the mind and ability of a four-year-old imbecile.
"Oof." A heavy weight known as Draco pounced and jumped on her, sumo style!
"I SAID PLAY WITH MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"
"I might if you GET OFF ME," She screamed into her duvet cover. He was such an annoying brat, even more so than he was before this stupid 'disease' happened. At this rate, she'd be old and grey before she was twenty-two . . . .
Draco scrambled off her and looked at her with that goofy grin stuck on his face as she sighed and got up, wrapping the duvet tight around herself to keep her warm.
"Ugh . . . Malfoy, ONE game and then I'm going to sleep again."
"NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! THREE GAMES AT LEAST, THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"
"Whatever, just leave me alone afterwards."
"OKEY DOKEY!!!"
"And stop shouting, you're going to wake everyone up."
Draco nodded and grinned then tugged Hermione by the duvet and over to the window where the rain was pouring down onto the glass. He opened the window and stuck his head out, making his hair wet and scruffy.
"Now this game is one I've just made up, it's called rain!!! I made it up because your hair is bushy," Draco shouted as he stuck his head back in, his hair now sopping wet and stuck to his head. He pushed Hermione's head out, making her splutter at the taste of salty rain.
"And the point of this is . . .???"
Draco tugged her head back in and dragged her to the bathroom, then stuck her head into the sink. Hermione shrieked as he got a dog combing brush from nowhere and began to scrub at her head.
"MALFOY YOU DOPE WHAT ARE YOU DOING??????"
"Scrubbing your head, duh!!"
Oh dear . . . the cute voice that little Draco always had had gone and was replaced with the deep, harsh and slightly less annoying voice of normal Draco. She screamed and tried to nudge him off while trying not to drown in the water that was now spilling from the tap.
"When on earth did you turn back????"
"I woke up to see your head out of the window you freak, now keep still!!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
She squirmed harder and used her hands to splash water all over him, he shrieked girlishly (to her delight).
"Why you little . . ."
Draco grabbed a sponge and soaked it with water, then threw it at Hermione's body and began to scrub at her head again, now even harder than before.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEKK!!!! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO MALFOY??? RIP MY HAIR OUT?? AS IF IT ISN'T BAD ENOUGH!!!!"
"Oh shut up, if your hair did fall out, I'd be doing you a favour!!"
"Let go off me -
Hermione twisted around, then realised that that was one biiiiiiig mistake as Draco continued to scrub hard on her face, pretending that he didn't know she had turned around.
"Gah . . . stop . . . pppht . . . . scrubbing!!!"
Draco stopped and did a little dance on the bathroom floor.
"Hehe . . . Granger's at my mercy, Granger's at my mercy . . . no, not annoying enough . . . I know a song that'll get on your nerves! Get on your nerves! Get on your nerves! I know a song that will get on your -
Like Jackie Chan, or Hong Kong Fu-ui (or however you spell it), Hermione twisted Draco's hand around so that he was yelling in pain, and moaning to try and get her to release him. She pushed his head into the sink with her free hand then took the dog brush from Draco's hand and began to scrub at his blonde hair, making him cry out in anger.
"THIS IS ABUSE I TELL YOU, ABUSE!!!!"
"YOU STARTED IT!!"
"BUT YOU HAIR IS BUSHY, MINE IS PERFECT, THERE'S A DIFFERENCE!!!!"
Hermione looked around for something that would make this situation all the more fun. Then, she saw it; a bottle of wizarding shampoo labelled 'Vanity boosts, for extra volume', then, in little tiny letters underneath, 'use no more than one squirt at a time'. Hermione stretched out to grab it and then unscrewed the bottle lid (ignoring the nozzle).
"Haha Malfoy! Fear the wrath of Hermione Granger!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" Draco screamed girlishly once more and continued to wriggle and moan in vain as Hermione poured the entire contents of the bottle onto his head and began scrubbing.
~LATER . . . and Little Draco is back! Oh yeah, and the scrubbing has stopped~
"Malfoy, I'm going to sleep now."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, YOU SAID YOU'D PLAY THREE GAMES WITH ME, IT'S ONLY BEEN ONE!!!"
"Malfoy, I'm sopping wet, and my hair is now even bushier thanks to you, leave me alone!!!"
"NOOOOOOOOOO, YOU PROMISED!!!!"
"Technically . . ."
"DON'T YOU USE FANCY WORDS WITH ME!!!!! PLAY WITH ME OR DIE!!!!!!!!!"
Who knew little Draco could be so ferocious? Then again, he was brought up by a maniac deatheater that probably brought him to see him murder innocent people . . . suddenly, Hermione had an idea, a brilliant and devious idea that even Draco would be proud to have.
"Now Draco, I will play with you, ONLY if you play the game I want to play."
Little Draco nodded eagerly and sat down on the carpet, as did Hermione.
"The game I want to play is hide and seek."
"How'd you play that?"
"Well, you go hide, not in this room, just anywhere in this castle, and then I go to find you after I've counted to fifty, okay?"
Draco nodded and got up, practically tripping over his own feet to try and reach the door, when Hermione had a sudden brainwave. Now, she wanted to embarrass him, but not embarrass him that much so that he would NEVER live it down, no, she wouldn't stoop to his level . . . maybe somewhere close, but never AS low anyway.
"Malfoy, come over here," Draco obediently did, "Take this robe and wear it okay? Good."
Draco took his school robe, hurriedly put it on and then rushed through the open door, leaving Hermione in the dark. Instead of counting to fifty, she went over to her digital clock and had a look at what time it was. Her clock read 4:39am. She yawned and stretched, climbing into her still warm bed, and wrapping herself back into her duvet.
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"Er, Hermione," Harry said uncertainly as he chewed his piece of toast, "What exactly did you DO last night?"
Hermione raised her eyebrows. It was now morning and she was finally able to have a conversation with her two bestest buddies. She sipped her milk and licked her lips.
"I was just playing with Malfoy."
Harry and Ron couldn't look more horrified.
"When you say . . . playing, what exactly do you mean by that?" Harry asked testily as Ron gawped at her, bacon dropping from his open mouth back onto his plate.
"I mean, playing."
"Playing what though? Roll and tumble? WHAT??????"
"Calm down Harry, we just played some things."
"That doesn't make me feel any better about this you know."
"Yes well, why do you ask?"
"Let's just say . . . I had problems sleeping because of certain strange noises."
"Oooo, has the ghosts of Christmas past come to haunt you? Tut, tut, Harry, and it's not even Christmas yet."
"No . . . I mean, disgusting MOANING coming in the direction of YOUR bedroom."
"Oh, that was Malfoy."
I swallow my words, Harry and Ron looked even more horrified than they did before. Ron was now choking because he couldn't swallow the amount of scrambled egg that he had stuffed in his mouth. Harry was confused, he was horrified and trying to help Ron at the same time, ending in a wimpy pat on the back for Ron.
"Don't worry you guys, I don't mean playing as in . . . the playing your thinking of. That's just gross . . . EW, now you got a vision of a naked Malfoy in my head!!!"
"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEER!!!!!!!!!"
All heads turned to the door as an angry Draco burst through the door, red with anger. He stormed over to Hermione, who had just put down her beaker of milk. She calmly turned around as Ron tumbled to the floor, as red as his hair.
"Granger, pray tell me why on earth I woke up in a broom closet, in only my boxers and a robe??????" Draco asked, trying his best to keep calm. Hermione stared at him, ignoring the gagging noises behind her.
Hermione continued to stare, making Draco even more annoyed of her. He stretched his hands forward, trying his hardest to try not to strangle her as she filled a spare beaker with water and held it in her hands.
"GRANGER?????"
"Yes?"
"CARE TO ANSWER MY QUESTION?????"
"No."
Draco stood and raised an eyebrow at her. Hermione looked at him and chucked the water over him.
"Ppppppppphttt . . . . and that was for?"
"The shampoo in your hair."
Draco looked horrified as he placed both his hands on his hair and began to stroke it to see what was in it. He looked at the white foam in his hands and them scowled at Hermione, who was now looking down at the floor watching Ron choke.
"Granger, you . . . you . . . you ruddy . . . . UGH, I can't even call you a prune anymore, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO CHANGE BACK INTO NORMAL COLOUR AT A TIME LIKE THIS YOU STUPID GRANGER SKIN!!!!!"
And with that, Draco hurried off to wash. Hermione looked up, shrugged, then turned back to the floor, now seeing Harry (who was looking at Ron worriedly) and Lisa.
"Okay, Padma, after I say three now, one . . . two . . . three!!!"
Padma and Lisa did a runner up to Ron and sat on his stomach, making him spit out a big wad of scrambled egg. He was, however, still purple as he staggered up, looking dizzy and dazed. He sighed and saw himself in the puddle of water Hermione had made.
"God, I hope I'm not gonna be purple all day!!!"
"Ron," Hermione said, throwing a carton of fruit juice over to him, "Try having to be me for the past week."
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"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!!!! "
Hermione cringed as she heard that all too familiar voice. The time was now about one in the afternoon, she was in a spare classroom near the muggle studies area, and she was just about to finish her warm-up, which was to dangle from the ceiling and read complicated sentences back to front and upside down. It was hard, but being the intelligent girl she was, it wasn't THAT hard.
Draco rushed into the room, angry as hell. Lee, who was once again one of the people in charge, and Dr Granger (Serena being too choked up to do anything near Lee, therefore meaning she couldn't even wet herself near him) turned to Draco and tried their best not to laugh. Hermione, however, was nowhere near as polite.
"HA! Malfoy, what happened to your wig?"
"YOU IS WHAT HAPPENED TO MY WIG, I mean, HAIR!!!!"
"How exactly can 'I' happen to your wig?"
"YOUR STUPID SHAMPOO MADE AN AFRO OF ME!!!!!"
Draco shouted. Hermione resisted the urge to laugh. Draco now had his beautiful head of golden fair hair, in a bushy, big afro. 'Guess that extra volume shampoo really did mean EXTRA volume . . .'
"Honestly Malfoy, you should calm down, that afro suits you, really it does. Makes your wig less obvious."
"Oh shut it Granger, super spello gel won't even hold this THING down, nor my wand. THIS IS A COMPLETE NIGHTMARE."
"Ah, now you see my world."
Draco rolled his eyes and crossed his arms just as Lee waved his wand, making Hermione fall from the ceiling and crash into some pillows underneath her.
"Ugh . . . what did you put in these pillows?"
"Oh sorry Hermione honey," Dr Granger said as she struggled to help her niece up, "We couldn't quite afford nice soft feathers, so we had to fill the pillows with pieces of rock candy instead."
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"To be perfectly honest, I think today's experiment will be MUCH more fun than the last! Which, by the way Hermione dear, was yesterday, when we all had to see which man-eating plant was poisonous and which wasn't!!! It was very fun, such a shame you weren't here really . . . anyway, as I was saying, today's experiment shall include something us muggles know as diving!! Now, what do you wizard folk call it?"
Dr Granger looked around. Ron raised an eyebrow and a hand, as no one else bothered.
"Yes Mr Weasley."
"Diving?"
She blinked at him blankly for a few seconds until she smiled brightly. "Okay, if that's what you say Mr Weasley!!! Anyway, we shall all be diving, pair by pair, into the lake of Hogwarts!! We have been given pills, made from what we don't know, BUT we know it lasts for two hours maximum!! To make this project even more fun, we have asked our Professor Flitwick, to give every pair a prize!! That is, depending on whether they find the glowing golden orb of well, waterproof electricity . . . it is hidden!! Oh, but to make it harder, we will use a charm to tie the pair together! So team work will do you good!!!"
Dr Granger smiled and nodded to Professor Flitwick, who was holding the sorting hat upside down. He waved his wand, and the hat began to talk.
"Yawn, first pair shall be the odd couple, Miss Hermione Granger and Mr Draco Malfoy . . . please remind me never to work over time again . . ."
The Sorting hat began snoring as Hermione groaned. She felt her hand being magically bound to Draco's, the fact that he was running away from the white coated people with the pills to make them breathe underwater didn't help either.
"Malfoy - AH!!!"
Hermione was being dragged through nearby bushes by the running and squealing Draco. 'Stupid Malfoy, doesn't he know that he could run PAST the bushes instead of THROUGH them????'
She hung onto a tree and finally managed to make Draco stop. He screamed and tried to pretend he knew kung fu. Hermione however, was having a psychic brainwave, could it be that little Draco was back?
"Now Mr Malfoy, calm down, they're only pills, not poisonous at all!!!" Dr Granger said slowly, trying to sound convincing . . . and failing miserably.
"WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! NO PILLIES!!! I WANT HERMI!!!!"
Hermione groaned, why Hermi of all names? WHY OH WHY???? She patted Draco on the back. He spun around. The moment he saw her, his face contorted into a wobbly smile. He pounced on her and hugged her tightly.
"Gasp . . . Malfoy . . . Draco . . . LET GO OF ME."
"Okay."
Draco let go and continued to grin goofily at her as everyone burst out laughing. Dr Granger smiled and winked at Hermione, making dear old Hermi groan all the more. She grabbed the pills off the nearest person and gulped them down, turning to Draco.
"Look, I've had these so you will too, now EAT!"
Draco nodded as Hermione stuffed them down his throat. She now turned to her Aunt Emi, who cowered at her niece's ferocious, and scarily lion like gaze.
"Now Aunt Emi, tell me honestly, DO THESE PILLS WORK??"
"Yes, of course . . . honey, they've already been tested, we're just checking that the results are correct, after all, do you really think that we would risk your lives for these tests?" Dr Granger gabbled. 'Yes . . .'
Hermione went over to Professor Flitwick (who looked like he was going to faint soon from the vicious look on Hermione's face) and he immediately used some sort of charm to make Draco and Hermione dressed in swimsuits.
Hermione could feel everyone staring at them, Draco still smiling dozily at her. Inspite of herself, she still held her breath before jumping into the black lake, followed by Draco who did exactly what she did.
Sighs of relief echoed around as soon as everyone was sure that Hermione had really gone. Serena peered over Dr Granger's shoulder, and, sensing that it was now safe, she wiped the sweat from her forehead.
"God, I never knew she had THAT sort of temper!!" Serena cried.
"No, neither did I!!" Dr Granger agreed.
"HA!!!" Ron snorted, "Try being me and Harry for a day!!"
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Hermione opened her eyes, she could see under the water . . . under the murky, disgustingly filthy water. She shuddered.
"You know Hermi, this water is gross, you smart, you know any spellies??"
Draco was even grinning underwater. Oh how she preferred grumpy old Draco than little Draco with no sense whatsoever. Why did the pills enable you to talk underwater as well as breathe?? Couldn't they just shut you up?
She sighed and looked around, what she needed now was to find that golden orb, so she could get the hell out of here. Maybe the merpeople would know . . . ah, but then again, SHE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO SPEAK MER-THINGY. There's a problem . . .
"Hermi, what that?"
Hermione looked in the direction Draco had been pointing to. There, in a cluster of what seemed to be seaweed, was a glowing golden orb, THE glowing golden orb that they needed.
She grinned and began to swim downwards towards the seaweed. Maybe little Draco wasn't so bad after all, sure, he was even more obnoxious, spoilt, annoying and down right pathetic, than big Draco, but she figured with a bit of suffocating, drowning and the always healthy strangling, he would soon learn.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
"What? What is it? Are you drowning?"
Draco shook his head as he gulped, a terrified expression sprawled on his place. Hermione sighed, 'Damn'
"ITS, ITS, IT'S THE REVENGE OF THE SEAWEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!" He shrieked, hiding behind Hermione, or, trying to hide behind Hermione. As their hands were tied together, it only resulted in him going round, and round and round in circles, over and over again.
"GAH . . . STOP . . . STOP!!!!!"
Draco stopped and began to wail loudly, bogie beginning to drip down from his nose. "I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY I MADE YOU DIZZY HERMI!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! I REALLY LIKE YOU HERMI, I'M SORRY!!!!!!!!"
"That's okay, just shut the hell up!!! Anyway, back to the point . . . you're scared of seaweed? Stupid, green, sloppy, edible, bogie-like seaweed??"
"Yes . . ." Draco whimpered, sniffing then spluttering as he had just sniffed in a whole lot of water.
"Oh clever!! How are we supposed to get that golden orb then?"
"I have an idea, hows abouts we head butt it?"
"Head butt it?"
"Yes, head butt it."
"HEAD BUTT IT?"
"YES!! HEAD BUTT IT!!!"
Slowly, Hermione nodded.
"You head butt it Hermi, you got a bigger head."
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The experiments were finally over for the day, Big Draco was back, and the sun was slowly setting. All 7th years were sat on separate picnic benches on the Hogwarts quidditch pitch, all eating and chatting cheerfully . . . until Dr Granger silenced them all by wanting to announce something.
"Hello children! Now that was fun was it not? I know it was! Could all pairs who managed to retrieve the golden orb from the water please stand by Professor Flitwick for their prize!! The prize being any wish they want!"
Dr Granger drifted off as practically everyone ran towards tiny Mr Flitwick, making him scream in terror (think giant mob of angry lawyers running to sue you cus you said you owned Harry Potter . . .)
Hermione and Draco were not first in line. They were last, but by the time they got there, they had decided whose wish this would be by a series of rock, paper, scissors. Draco won.
"Now Mr Malfoy, do you wish me to rid you of that horrendous afro?"
Up until now, Draco had actually forgotten about his afro. Remembering it all didn't exactly make him feel peachy.
"No actually, and thank you SOOO much for reminding me that I had AN AFRO IN THE FIRST PLACE. Anyway, what I want is to be rid of my childish half."
"And which half may that be Mr Malfoy?"
"THE FOUR YEAR OLD HALF OF COURSE."
"Oh yes . . . of course . . .I'll try my best Mr Malfoy, but I only know charms, and not miracles . . ."
Professor Flitwick gave a flick, a swish and a tweak before Draco rose in the air, glowing purple. He prayed that he wouldn't become another Hermione . . . as Hermione watched from the safety of the floor, she saw Draco become two blobs of purple things. One of them landed back on the floor and stopped glowing.
"Whoa, that was ONE HELL OF A ride!!" Draco steadied himself, trying to walk without being dizzy . . . and then walking into a tree. Meanwhile, Hermione was still staring at the other blob of purple light. It slowly lowered itself onto the floor, and out popped . . . a small child with platinum blonde hair, blue eyes, and looking about four years old. He looked around for a minute before blinking and staring straight at Hermione.
"HERMI!!!" Little Draco pounced on Hermione and hugged her tightly, "You're a lot taller than you used to be you know."
"YOU STUPID LITTLE MAN!! I TOLD YOU TO GET RID OF HIM, NOT SEPARATE HIM FROM ME YOU ARSE!!"
"Language now Malfoy! We have a child on the premises!"
"Shut up Granger, now please explain to me Mr nice Flitwick -
"I'm sorry Mr Malfoy, but that's the best I can do. I'm afraid you'll just have to deal with it!!"
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Evening was upon the students of Hogwarts, and all everyone wanted to do was have a nice early night and dream of dreams in peace and harmony . . . shame there was no such thing as peace and harmony in Hermione's world.
Hermione was in her room reading Hogwarts: A History, whilst Big Draco was trying to get some sleep. Professor Flitwick and Dr Granger had decided that Little Draco would have to stay with Hermione and Draco, seeing as he wouldn't let go of her hair. Little Draco was now bouncing on Draco's bed, occasionally treading on Draco's head just for some sort of effect.
"PLAY WID ME!!!!!!!"
"No."
"PLAY WID ME!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!"
"No."
"Fine then . . . . DADDY!!!"
"I'M NOT YOUR BLIMMIN' DAD."
"Yes you are."
"No I'm not."
"YES YOU ARE!"
"Whose mummy then?"
"HERMI MUMMY!!!!!!"
Draco (Big Draco I will refer to as Draco, little Draco = Little Draco) shot up as Little Draco skipped over to Hermione, and began to drag her along the floor towards him.
"MUMMY KISS DADDY!!! DADDY KISS MUMMY!!!"
"NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!"
"YES, YES, YES, YES, YES!!!"
"I AM NOT KISSING HER!!"
"Yes you are!"
"No I'm not!"
"YES YOU ARE!"
"NO I'M NOT!"
"MUMMY AND DADDY SITTING IN A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, FIRST COMES LOVE, THEN COMES MARRIAGE, THEN COMES ME IN A BABY CARRIAGE!!!"
"YOU ANNOYING, BRATTY, LITTLE -
"Er Malfoy, you do realise you're insulting yourself?"
"AAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!"
"Daddy, da, da, da, da, da, da, ooohhhhhh mummy, mummy, da, da, da, da, da, da, you are IN LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!!!"
"WE ARE NOT!"
"You will be daddy, teehee, see, you're going to sleep in same beddy! Me sleep in Mummy's beddy, you sleep in that beddy!!! BYEEEEEEE!!"
Little Draco hurriedly scurried away towards Hermione's bed. He spread himself out onto it, making sure he took up all the room, then began to snore loudly.
Hermione and Draco watched him, she groaned, this was going to be one hell of a night . . .
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So yeah, this was kind of forced, but I needed to try and get this up . . . please review! Once again, suggestions for experiments are still very welcome; I actually need some, because my own brain has kind of malfunctioned. Anyway, please review to tell me what you thought!!!
~ RUPERT SO TOTALLY ROCKS!!
~Me person.
PS. Incase anyone is wondering, I AM DEFINITELY KEEPING LITTLE DRACO HERE FOR A WHILE YET!! He is to play a very important part in this fic (for the romance, hint, hint) and he might even be here until the END of this fic!!
PPS. Hey dudes, just to say IT SNOWED TODAY!!! IT FINALLY SNOWED!!!