CRAZY LUNATIC EXPERIMENTS
Summary: Hermione's aunt has been called to Hogwarts as she needs lots of children to be her 'guinea pigs' and of course, only Dumbledore is nice enough to let someone experiment with his students . . .
NARRATED BY MOI!
I OWE ONE OF MY BESTEST BUDDYS A FAVOUR FOR HELPING ME WITH THIS CHAPTER!! HUGZ! NOW THANK YOU TO:
*Paprika90 ~ Lol, thank you, thank you!! I'll try to keep the humour up, but if I fail I'll be asking for a beta reader soon (when I find out what one is)!!!! I really hope you enjoy this chapter, and review it afterwards!!
*Some12 ~ Yay! I think Little Draco is so cute too! Which is why I've decided to make him stick around for a bit, you know, as a little matchmaker . . . hehehe, anyway, he reminds you of your cousin? That would be so cool! Having a real life Little Draco about . . . wah, all my snow has melted now, even my lovely snowman . . . oh well, I'll just have to wait a few more years I guess. Thanks for the review! And the suggestion (wink, wink)!!!
*LythTaeraneth ~ Thanks for reviewing! And I'm so happy you finally understand!! I know how confusing I can be, but I'm not as happy that fanfic.net haven't made that linky thing work, everyone is noticing that now and I'm getting frustrated! ITS ONLY ME! Lol, anyway, I put a little note at the bottom to tell people, so hopefully it'll be okay.
*Happigolucki616 ~ I know! I was so happy that it FINALLY snowed! I mean, it never snows here! Which was why I was happy I guess . . . okay, now I'm confused. Lol, anyway, thanks for reviewing this and the other fic, I really appreciate it!
*Burgundyred ~ Aw man, I LOVE YOU!! Okay, don't take that too seriously . . . its just that the review you sent was so detailed and well, detailed, and YOU GOT THE EXACT POINT OF EVERYTHING!! Like the fact that Hermione = vicious, Draco = vicious, Hermione and Draco squared = romance! Everyone else just got confused! Lol, dude, you are the best! Thanks for reviewing, being a really good reviewer and being so detailed!
*Chrispie ~ Lol, aw thanks! I like him too, which is why he's sticking around I guess! Here's the update, I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far and please review if you can be bothered!!! Lol.
*Tammy ~ When you say if I don't review soon, you mean if I don't update soon right? Lol, I got kind of confused about that, lol, anyways, here's the update, really hope you don't die . . .
*Rupy ~ Dude, I'm happy that you're happy about my decision with Little Draco, he NEEDS to be there for . . . well, you'll have to wait and see! ^.~ Thanks for reviewing!
*Anonymous ~ Thanks so much for reviewing! I don't really mind what you say in your reviews, the main thing is that you bothered to review and that makes me so happy!! Thanks again!
*Eventuality ~ Hey, I did email you about that author alert thing right? God, I hope so! Lol, if I didn't then I meant to! You're not the only one that's complained about the author alert thing, so I put a note at the bottom, just to maybe explain the situation more to those who didn't bother to ask about it! Thanks for the review!
*Fluff ~ Aw, thanks! I was hoping you'd mention something about The Bachelor! UPDATE SOON PLEASE!! Lol, I really do like it, and I'm hoping to see more romance (as most people are in this fic too . . .) as soon as you can possibly have it! Oh and thanks for reviewing!!
*Lor ~ Thanks so much for reviewing!! It would be nice to have suggestions, but to be honest, I don't really mind that much!! The main thing is that you bothered in the first place!!! Thanks again, and I really hope you continue to enjoy this fic!!
*Harryforeva ~ I hope it wasn't so weird that you didn't enjoy it . . . and what can I say? A weird person writes some weird stuff . . .
*TOM-FELTON-IS-SEXY ~ Lol, thank you Candy Cane and Peanut, how nice of you to review and say such nice things!! Gosh, I sound posh now . lol, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter as well, and review afterwards!!!
*Klee_babe ~ Thank you for the review!! I was wondering where you went the other day actually, you can imagine my happiness when you reviewed this!! :D Thanks again, so much! Here's the next chapter, enjoy!
*luza ~ I'm glad you found it funny! I try my hardest, but I never know whether it's actually very funny, basically cus' I wrote it and the author's opinion on his/her own story doesn't count for ANYTHING in my world, lol, but then again, my world is strange . . .
*Loah ~ Thanks, I hope you'll like this chapter more than the last one.
*weasleyisourking ~ WHHHHOOOOOOOOOO!! LOVE YOU'RE NAME!!! Lol, sorry, couldn't resist that! The painting isn't of any significance, no, I just put that in for no reason whatsoever!! Lol, you can decide if there's any sarcasm in that or not!! I hope you enjoy the rest of the fic if you get round to reading it!
*Pyroprincess4rmeverwood ~ Thank you, thank you!! I love Little Draco too, he's sticking by for a while . . .
*Gina ~ Lol, wow, that's very nice of you to say so! I know there aren't many good D/Hr romance and humour fics, but I'm flattered that this fic can go in the good section!! I recommend 'Saving Prefect Granger' By Harmonic Friction. It's REALLY good!!
*NightxXxshade ~ Well if you read on, you'll find out when Draco will lose that afro of his!! Lol, thanks for reviewing, please continue to do so!!
'= Thoughts, "=speech
NO SPOILERS
CHAPTER TWELVE: In the night
DISCLAIMER: Yep, here it is again! Again I say, I own nothing! NOTHING I TELL YOU! Now is the message across . . .? Maybe yes, but I'm going to put a disclaimer up in the next chapter anyway, just for the sake of it. Okay, I've asked a hell of a load of questions already, must get on with this . . .
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Hermione couldn't believe it. She, the great Hermione Granger, was sleeping, yes, SLEEPING, in the same bed, as a ferret. And not just any ferret, the blonde ferret that was Malfoy. Right now he was in the bathroom, doing god knows what. He had been in there for at least half an hour and the entire room was now silent, apart from the odd snort from Little Draco. Hermione had the urge to go up to Little Draco and start prodding him, but no, that would be mean . . .
Anyway, Hermione yawned and stretched. Malfoy's bed was in no way as comfortable as hers, that was for sure. I mean, come on! She might as well have been lying on Malfoy . . . actually no . . . ew.
She heard the bathroom door open, and being nosey little her, she turned her head to see . . . a big fat sumo wrestler!! Actually, it was just Draco, wrapped up in thousands of towels like an Egyptian mummy.
Hermione looked horrified, as he wadded towards the bed, and thumped down on it, trying desperately hard not to let any of the towels unwrap. He let out a sigh of relief, finally managing to make himself SIT on the bed, then he realised all too late that he was sitting on the duvet cover.
"Ugh . . . ugh . . . AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
No matter how hard Draco tugged, he just couldn't get the cover over him. He peered through the little gap that he'd given himself and realised all too late that he had been pulling onto Hermione's shirt . . . so that was why he couldn't get it over him . . .
"DAMN YOU DUVET COVER!! I HATE YOU!!!" And Draco began beating the hell out of the duvet cover.
Hermione meanwhile tugged uselessly at his mass of towels. "Malfoy, you realise that those towels make you look even fatter than you already are."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"
Draco screamed and began ripping as many towels off him as he could, resulting in an enormous pile of at least fifty fluffy white towels. He stood for a moment, a frown on his face as he realised something was amiss . . . ah!!! Maybe it was the fact that now he was standing looking dopey and dressed only in his boxers.
"OH DAMN THIS STUPID PLAN!! WHY IS EVERYTHING GOING WRONG??????"
Draco stomped around in a frenzy, as Hermione sat and watched. Why he wanted to be wrapped in thousands of fluffy towels in the middle of the night when the central heating was on was a mystery to her, a real mystery.
Draco jumped into the bed, covering himself in the duvet and sitting up, staring in front of him in blank nothingness as he clapped however many time it was, making the lights turn off. It was then that Hermione realised that Draco's afro had disappeared, maybe he'd used some sort of expensive gel? Nah, probably just super glue.
Little Draco's phoney snores echoed once again. Draco plonked into bed and tried to hide the fact that he was still pissed off about the fact that his sumo mummy plan had failed.
"Granger . . . why aren't you sleeping?"
Silence.
"Granger?"
. . . . . . .
"GRANGER????"
"Shut up, little Draco's fake snoring."
"Answer me."
" . . . . .. You're going to rape me."
"I'm not going to rape you."
"Yes you are."
"No I'm not."
"Yes you are and Malfoy, don't you dare choke when I'm talking to you!!!!"
Draco had indeed begun to choke, as he could now feel a heavy, little, weight stuck on his perfectly gelled hair. Hermione frowned. Did he really need to gel his hair back for sleeping? Obviously the answer was yes as he had his hair gelled back NOW. Duh, that was a stupid question . . .
Hermione prodded Little Draco and yawned, "Get off him little Draco, he might need to breathe."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"
Hermione continued to prod, and yawn, "Go on, I know he should suffocate, but there's no need to let him die with his hair wrecked."
"I could gel it back afterwards!"
Hermione stopped prodding, "Okay then, thanks Little Draco."
"MMMMM, MMMM, MMM, MMMM, MMMMM . . . . . . . MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!"
Draco's muffled screams could just be heard but Hermione didn't feel like acknowledging them. She yawned and was about to sleep when Little Draco prodded her continuously in the head and demanded her attention.
"What is it? Is the Draco you're sitting on dead yet?"
"No, I fink he found a air hole in the bed cover, but I was wondering mummy -
"I AM NOT MUMMY."
"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!"
"Okay!!!! MUMMY I WANNA PLAY RAPE!"
Hermione looked horrified, and she was sure Draco did too, even if his head was stuck in a bed. She picked Little Draco up and placed him on her lap so that Draco could finally breathe. She regretted it immediately when he looked like a mad lunatic with weird hair. She tried to escape by turning back to Little D.
"You can't play rape Little Draco."
"YEAH I CAN!! I HEARD YOU TALKING ABOUT IT!! TELL ME HOW TO PLAY IT, TELL ME HOW TO PLAY IT, TELL ME HOW TO PLAY IT, TELL ME HOW TO PLAY IT, TELL ME HOW TO PLAY IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Rape is a very serious matter Draco, it is not to be played with."
"WELL I WANNA PLAY IT SO PLAY WITH ME!!!"
"You copycat version of 'moi', you can't PLAY rape, you either GET raped, or RAPE SOMEONE, which I don't recommend you do by the way, might get you into a little bit of bother, especially with the ladies . . ." Draco advised his counter part.
"Ooooh, okay!! So I'll rape you, you rape mummy, and mummy will rape me!!!" Little Draco began to bounce on their four-poster, occasionally treading on the odd body part.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!"
"NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS, or I'm not going to leave you alone until you play it with me!!!!!!"
"Okay . . ." Hermione stated slowly. Draco nudged her hard in the ribs.
"What are you on about Granger? I know how much you would like me to . . . FEEL you, but might I say, I AM NOT DOING IT!"
"Shut up Malfoy! . . . Big Draco here knows nothing, so listen to me, I'll tell you how to play rape, IF and only IF, you go to sleep straight afterwards."
"OKEEEEEEEEEEY!!!"
"Well, you jump from the roof of bed of me and 'daddy's' bed over and over again, then hang out of the window for ten seconds, fly back in, do a rolly polley, dance like a chicken, change to a monkey, then plop to bed and sleep."
Draco snorted, "Like he's gonna do that . . ."
Little Draco meanwhile played 'rape', "WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He plopped to bed and snored again.
Draco and Hermione watched him. Hermione was not going to fall asleep that easily, especially if she thought Draco might DO something to her (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, hehe).
"Why is he so bratty?"
"Because he's you Malfoy."
"POOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
Hermione and Draco stopped whispering at once. Little Draco rolled over and drooled onto his face. They watched him steadily . . .
"Mmm . . . mummy and daddy LOOOOOOOOOVE each other!!!!!!"
Hermione looked horrified, as did Draco. They tried to edge further away from each other, only resulting in both of them falling off the bed, BUT because the duvet cover was wrapped round both of them (it's a very big cover in case you haven't gathered), and the bed was high, they were now both dangling off the edge of the bed.
They wriggled (and giggled, no only kiddin' ya, hehe) but stopped when Little Draco began mumbling. Was he going to comment on the 'rape'? Or the 'love'?
"Mmmm . . . . coconuts."
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Hehe, yeah, I know it is kind of short compared to the others, but I wanted a chapter all about THE NIGHT HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA, god I wish I was truly evil, you know, like Dr Evil in Austin Powers, hehehehehe . . . . Oh yeah, please review!
~Love,
~Me
PS. IMPORTANT: Okay, for all those people who have me on author alert, I HAVE NOT PUT UP CHAPTER 12! This is chapter twelve cus I put two in one a while back. On fanfic.net, it will show up as chapter 11. In the author alert, all you gotta do is take one from the chapter it says, so if its:
&chapter=12
Really its:
&chapter=11
Thanks, bye!
PPS. Okay, I'll say it now before anybody gets hurt because I didn't mention it. These chapters, all of these chapters, I cannot fully take credit for. It is because of you wonderful reviewers, yes, YOU, that help to piece this thing together, although I do claim this as my overall idea! I thank you SOOOOOOOO much for suggesting! And if they have been used, I thank you SOOOOOOOOOO much as well!!! All suggestions are still welcome, as you all know!
PPPS. Next chapter may take even longer than the time it took to put this up. Sorry! Oh, and I MAY be offering a place for one of you, my beloved readers, to be my beta reader. MAY.
Summary: Hermione's aunt has been called to Hogwarts as she needs lots of children to be her 'guinea pigs' and of course, only Dumbledore is nice enough to let someone experiment with his students . . .
NARRATED BY MOI!
I OWE ONE OF MY BESTEST BUDDYS A FAVOUR FOR HELPING ME WITH THIS CHAPTER!! HUGZ! NOW THANK YOU TO:
*Paprika90 ~ Lol, thank you, thank you!! I'll try to keep the humour up, but if I fail I'll be asking for a beta reader soon (when I find out what one is)!!!! I really hope you enjoy this chapter, and review it afterwards!!
*Some12 ~ Yay! I think Little Draco is so cute too! Which is why I've decided to make him stick around for a bit, you know, as a little matchmaker . . . hehehe, anyway, he reminds you of your cousin? That would be so cool! Having a real life Little Draco about . . . wah, all my snow has melted now, even my lovely snowman . . . oh well, I'll just have to wait a few more years I guess. Thanks for the review! And the suggestion (wink, wink)!!!
*LythTaeraneth ~ Thanks for reviewing! And I'm so happy you finally understand!! I know how confusing I can be, but I'm not as happy that fanfic.net haven't made that linky thing work, everyone is noticing that now and I'm getting frustrated! ITS ONLY ME! Lol, anyway, I put a little note at the bottom to tell people, so hopefully it'll be okay.
*Happigolucki616 ~ I know! I was so happy that it FINALLY snowed! I mean, it never snows here! Which was why I was happy I guess . . . okay, now I'm confused. Lol, anyway, thanks for reviewing this and the other fic, I really appreciate it!
*Burgundyred ~ Aw man, I LOVE YOU!! Okay, don't take that too seriously . . . its just that the review you sent was so detailed and well, detailed, and YOU GOT THE EXACT POINT OF EVERYTHING!! Like the fact that Hermione = vicious, Draco = vicious, Hermione and Draco squared = romance! Everyone else just got confused! Lol, dude, you are the best! Thanks for reviewing, being a really good reviewer and being so detailed!
*Chrispie ~ Lol, aw thanks! I like him too, which is why he's sticking around I guess! Here's the update, I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far and please review if you can be bothered!!! Lol.
*Tammy ~ When you say if I don't review soon, you mean if I don't update soon right? Lol, I got kind of confused about that, lol, anyways, here's the update, really hope you don't die . . .
*Rupy ~ Dude, I'm happy that you're happy about my decision with Little Draco, he NEEDS to be there for . . . well, you'll have to wait and see! ^.~ Thanks for reviewing!
*Anonymous ~ Thanks so much for reviewing! I don't really mind what you say in your reviews, the main thing is that you bothered to review and that makes me so happy!! Thanks again!
*Eventuality ~ Hey, I did email you about that author alert thing right? God, I hope so! Lol, if I didn't then I meant to! You're not the only one that's complained about the author alert thing, so I put a note at the bottom, just to maybe explain the situation more to those who didn't bother to ask about it! Thanks for the review!
*Fluff ~ Aw, thanks! I was hoping you'd mention something about The Bachelor! UPDATE SOON PLEASE!! Lol, I really do like it, and I'm hoping to see more romance (as most people are in this fic too . . .) as soon as you can possibly have it! Oh and thanks for reviewing!!
*Lor ~ Thanks so much for reviewing!! It would be nice to have suggestions, but to be honest, I don't really mind that much!! The main thing is that you bothered in the first place!!! Thanks again, and I really hope you continue to enjoy this fic!!
*Harryforeva ~ I hope it wasn't so weird that you didn't enjoy it . . . and what can I say? A weird person writes some weird stuff . . .
*TOM-FELTON-IS-SEXY ~ Lol, thank you Candy Cane and Peanut, how nice of you to review and say such nice things!! Gosh, I sound posh now . lol, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter as well, and review afterwards!!!
*Klee_babe ~ Thank you for the review!! I was wondering where you went the other day actually, you can imagine my happiness when you reviewed this!! :D Thanks again, so much! Here's the next chapter, enjoy!
*luza ~ I'm glad you found it funny! I try my hardest, but I never know whether it's actually very funny, basically cus' I wrote it and the author's opinion on his/her own story doesn't count for ANYTHING in my world, lol, but then again, my world is strange . . .
*Loah ~ Thanks, I hope you'll like this chapter more than the last one.
*weasleyisourking ~ WHHHHOOOOOOOOOO!! LOVE YOU'RE NAME!!! Lol, sorry, couldn't resist that! The painting isn't of any significance, no, I just put that in for no reason whatsoever!! Lol, you can decide if there's any sarcasm in that or not!! I hope you enjoy the rest of the fic if you get round to reading it!
*Pyroprincess4rmeverwood ~ Thank you, thank you!! I love Little Draco too, he's sticking by for a while . . .
*Gina ~ Lol, wow, that's very nice of you to say so! I know there aren't many good D/Hr romance and humour fics, but I'm flattered that this fic can go in the good section!! I recommend 'Saving Prefect Granger' By Harmonic Friction. It's REALLY good!!
*NightxXxshade ~ Well if you read on, you'll find out when Draco will lose that afro of his!! Lol, thanks for reviewing, please continue to do so!!
'= Thoughts, "=speech
NO SPOILERS
CHAPTER TWELVE: In the night
DISCLAIMER: Yep, here it is again! Again I say, I own nothing! NOTHING I TELL YOU! Now is the message across . . .? Maybe yes, but I'm going to put a disclaimer up in the next chapter anyway, just for the sake of it. Okay, I've asked a hell of a load of questions already, must get on with this . . .
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Hermione couldn't believe it. She, the great Hermione Granger, was sleeping, yes, SLEEPING, in the same bed, as a ferret. And not just any ferret, the blonde ferret that was Malfoy. Right now he was in the bathroom, doing god knows what. He had been in there for at least half an hour and the entire room was now silent, apart from the odd snort from Little Draco. Hermione had the urge to go up to Little Draco and start prodding him, but no, that would be mean . . .
Anyway, Hermione yawned and stretched. Malfoy's bed was in no way as comfortable as hers, that was for sure. I mean, come on! She might as well have been lying on Malfoy . . . actually no . . . ew.
She heard the bathroom door open, and being nosey little her, she turned her head to see . . . a big fat sumo wrestler!! Actually, it was just Draco, wrapped up in thousands of towels like an Egyptian mummy.
Hermione looked horrified, as he wadded towards the bed, and thumped down on it, trying desperately hard not to let any of the towels unwrap. He let out a sigh of relief, finally managing to make himself SIT on the bed, then he realised all too late that he was sitting on the duvet cover.
"Ugh . . . ugh . . . AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
No matter how hard Draco tugged, he just couldn't get the cover over him. He peered through the little gap that he'd given himself and realised all too late that he had been pulling onto Hermione's shirt . . . so that was why he couldn't get it over him . . .
"DAMN YOU DUVET COVER!! I HATE YOU!!!" And Draco began beating the hell out of the duvet cover.
Hermione meanwhile tugged uselessly at his mass of towels. "Malfoy, you realise that those towels make you look even fatter than you already are."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"
Draco screamed and began ripping as many towels off him as he could, resulting in an enormous pile of at least fifty fluffy white towels. He stood for a moment, a frown on his face as he realised something was amiss . . . ah!!! Maybe it was the fact that now he was standing looking dopey and dressed only in his boxers.
"OH DAMN THIS STUPID PLAN!! WHY IS EVERYTHING GOING WRONG??????"
Draco stomped around in a frenzy, as Hermione sat and watched. Why he wanted to be wrapped in thousands of fluffy towels in the middle of the night when the central heating was on was a mystery to her, a real mystery.
Draco jumped into the bed, covering himself in the duvet and sitting up, staring in front of him in blank nothingness as he clapped however many time it was, making the lights turn off. It was then that Hermione realised that Draco's afro had disappeared, maybe he'd used some sort of expensive gel? Nah, probably just super glue.
Little Draco's phoney snores echoed once again. Draco plonked into bed and tried to hide the fact that he was still pissed off about the fact that his sumo mummy plan had failed.
"Granger . . . why aren't you sleeping?"
Silence.
"Granger?"
. . . . . . .
"GRANGER????"
"Shut up, little Draco's fake snoring."
"Answer me."
" . . . . .. You're going to rape me."
"I'm not going to rape you."
"Yes you are."
"No I'm not."
"Yes you are and Malfoy, don't you dare choke when I'm talking to you!!!!"
Draco had indeed begun to choke, as he could now feel a heavy, little, weight stuck on his perfectly gelled hair. Hermione frowned. Did he really need to gel his hair back for sleeping? Obviously the answer was yes as he had his hair gelled back NOW. Duh, that was a stupid question . . .
Hermione prodded Little Draco and yawned, "Get off him little Draco, he might need to breathe."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"
Hermione continued to prod, and yawn, "Go on, I know he should suffocate, but there's no need to let him die with his hair wrecked."
"I could gel it back afterwards!"
Hermione stopped prodding, "Okay then, thanks Little Draco."
"MMMMM, MMMM, MMM, MMMM, MMMMM . . . . . . . MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!"
Draco's muffled screams could just be heard but Hermione didn't feel like acknowledging them. She yawned and was about to sleep when Little Draco prodded her continuously in the head and demanded her attention.
"What is it? Is the Draco you're sitting on dead yet?"
"No, I fink he found a air hole in the bed cover, but I was wondering mummy -
"I AM NOT MUMMY."
"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!"
"Okay!!!! MUMMY I WANNA PLAY RAPE!"
Hermione looked horrified, and she was sure Draco did too, even if his head was stuck in a bed. She picked Little Draco up and placed him on her lap so that Draco could finally breathe. She regretted it immediately when he looked like a mad lunatic with weird hair. She tried to escape by turning back to Little D.
"You can't play rape Little Draco."
"YEAH I CAN!! I HEARD YOU TALKING ABOUT IT!! TELL ME HOW TO PLAY IT, TELL ME HOW TO PLAY IT, TELL ME HOW TO PLAY IT, TELL ME HOW TO PLAY IT, TELL ME HOW TO PLAY IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Rape is a very serious matter Draco, it is not to be played with."
"WELL I WANNA PLAY IT SO PLAY WITH ME!!!"
"You copycat version of 'moi', you can't PLAY rape, you either GET raped, or RAPE SOMEONE, which I don't recommend you do by the way, might get you into a little bit of bother, especially with the ladies . . ." Draco advised his counter part.
"Ooooh, okay!! So I'll rape you, you rape mummy, and mummy will rape me!!!" Little Draco began to bounce on their four-poster, occasionally treading on the odd body part.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!"
"NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS, or I'm not going to leave you alone until you play it with me!!!!!!"
"Okay . . ." Hermione stated slowly. Draco nudged her hard in the ribs.
"What are you on about Granger? I know how much you would like me to . . . FEEL you, but might I say, I AM NOT DOING IT!"
"Shut up Malfoy! . . . Big Draco here knows nothing, so listen to me, I'll tell you how to play rape, IF and only IF, you go to sleep straight afterwards."
"OKEEEEEEEEEEY!!!"
"Well, you jump from the roof of bed of me and 'daddy's' bed over and over again, then hang out of the window for ten seconds, fly back in, do a rolly polley, dance like a chicken, change to a monkey, then plop to bed and sleep."
Draco snorted, "Like he's gonna do that . . ."
Little Draco meanwhile played 'rape', "WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He plopped to bed and snored again.
Draco and Hermione watched him. Hermione was not going to fall asleep that easily, especially if she thought Draco might DO something to her (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, hehe).
"Why is he so bratty?"
"Because he's you Malfoy."
"POOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
Hermione and Draco stopped whispering at once. Little Draco rolled over and drooled onto his face. They watched him steadily . . .
"Mmm . . . mummy and daddy LOOOOOOOOOVE each other!!!!!!"
Hermione looked horrified, as did Draco. They tried to edge further away from each other, only resulting in both of them falling off the bed, BUT because the duvet cover was wrapped round both of them (it's a very big cover in case you haven't gathered), and the bed was high, they were now both dangling off the edge of the bed.
They wriggled (and giggled, no only kiddin' ya, hehe) but stopped when Little Draco began mumbling. Was he going to comment on the 'rape'? Or the 'love'?
"Mmmm . . . . coconuts."
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Hehe, yeah, I know it is kind of short compared to the others, but I wanted a chapter all about THE NIGHT HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA, god I wish I was truly evil, you know, like Dr Evil in Austin Powers, hehehehehe . . . . Oh yeah, please review!
~Love,
~Me
PS. IMPORTANT: Okay, for all those people who have me on author alert, I HAVE NOT PUT UP CHAPTER 12! This is chapter twelve cus I put two in one a while back. On fanfic.net, it will show up as chapter 11. In the author alert, all you gotta do is take one from the chapter it says, so if its:
&chapter=12
Really its:
&chapter=11
Thanks, bye!
PPS. Okay, I'll say it now before anybody gets hurt because I didn't mention it. These chapters, all of these chapters, I cannot fully take credit for. It is because of you wonderful reviewers, yes, YOU, that help to piece this thing together, although I do claim this as my overall idea! I thank you SOOOOOOOO much for suggesting! And if they have been used, I thank you SOOOOOOOOOO much as well!!! All suggestions are still welcome, as you all know!
PPPS. Next chapter may take even longer than the time it took to put this up. Sorry! Oh, and I MAY be offering a place for one of you, my beloved readers, to be my beta reader. MAY.