A/N: I really didn't get as many song requests as I hoped, except for the "My Little Pony" commercial song. That will appear in this chapter! I need songs that most people have heard of. Please. I beg you!! Review! PLEASE! I'm starving!

Badger Lover: Thank you for the "My Little Pony" Idea! HA! Very funny!

Any anonymous reviews that have come in, thanks. I appreciate it!

"This contest is a little one-sided and biased," Denethor says.

"No, really!" Faramir mutters to himself as Denethor keeps talking.

"So I've decided to hire some judges to help me! Let's hear it for the judges!" Denethor says.

"First, from the HMS Surprise, coxswain Barret Bonden!" Denethor says, as a guy comes out that looks surprisingly like Pippin, except he's got blonde hair. Pippin runs out.

"Hey, I know you!" he screams, as Barret looks at Pip like, "What the heck?"

"Second, from the HMS Dauntless, Commodore Norrington!" Denethor says, as a guy comes out in an old-fashioned navy outfit.

"And thirdly, from Middle Earth's very own Mirkwood, Prince Legolas!" Denethor says.

Legolas comes out, and about 20,000 fan girls come out and swarm him. Boromir and Faramir feel very left out. So, me, the author, in all her kindness to Faramir, sends down some fell beasts to smite the Legolas fan girls. But Legolas shoots them down, flexes his muscles, and the fan girls swoon and faint. They deserved it. Some bystanding guards of the Citadel rush over and cart the fan girls off in wheelbarrows. Legolas looks horrified that his fan girls are gone. Oh, well.

"So, judges, thank you for coming!" Denethor says very enthusiastically, and as punishment for being so cheerful pulls his muscles in his side. He also gets acute appendicitis. He slumps over in pain, clutching his side.

"No! Daddy! Appendicitis! Help!" Boromir screams, rushing over.

"Move, you useless lump!" Faramir says, checking for a pulse.

"How did you know how to do that?" Boromir asks, amazed.

"Easy. I took first aid at the Minas Tirith Boy scout Rangers Training Academy!" Faramir says, taking two seconds to show us all his badges.

"Ooh! Shiny badges!" Boromir says, reaching out to touch them.

"No! They're mine! My own! My precious! Preciousss...." Faramir says, doing a Gollum moment.

"I don't want to keep them!" Boromir says, shocked.

"Keep away, evil one! It wantsss it for itssself! No, nasssty fat human! Not my precious! Preciousss...." Faramir says.

"Whatever you do, don't put on a small loincloth as all you wear! Don't do it!" Boromir warns.

"Keep away. Nassty fat human!" Faramir says, crawling on top of a chair

Please note that Denethor is just sprawled out on the floor. He is unconscious. Legolas and the other judges are just standing there. They all have blank expressions on their faces.

"Keep away! My precious! Precious! Precious! No, all for me! No, us! ME!! Leave now and never come back!" Faramir says, having a Gollum experience.

"What the hell?" Boromir says, looking at the audience.

"Away he goes, precious! Faramir is free!!!" Faramir screams, doing a crazy dance.

Suddenly, Faramir snaps out of his Gollum experience.

"Whoa. I just had an out-of-body experience. Freaky." Faramir says, looking around.

"You sounded just like Gollum." Legolas says.

"Thank you Captain Obvious!" Boromir says, though how he knows who Gollum is beats me. Legolas knows, however, because he and his father are holding Gollum in the cells in Mirkwood. Interesting, isn't it?

"I have a song in my head, Faramir. Like me to sing it for ya?" Boromir asks.

"Go 'head." Faramir says.

"Ahem. My little pony, my little pony! Yadda yadda yadda! My little pony, my little pony! I love my little pony! My little pony!" Boromir sings.

Sorry, I don't know the "My Little Pony" song.

"Boromir, you scare me." Faramir says.

"No one ever bought me a My Little Pony!" Boromir whines.
A/N: This chapter celebrated my other favorite movies: Master and Commander and Pirates of the Caribbean. Yay! I still need suggestions for songs, that's why there's no singing involved. So, send in your requests/ ideas! Also, Billy Boyd, Pippin, plays Barret Bonden in Master and Commander