CRAZY LUNATIC EXPERIMENTS
Summary: Hermione's aunt has been called to Hogwarts as she needs lots of children to be her 'guinea pigs' and of course, only Dumbledore is nice enough to let someone experiment with his students . . .
NARRATED BY MOI!
THANKS A BUNCH OF BANANAS TO:
~*Cleopatra The Great ~ Lol, yeah, I guess you could call Little D 'cute', but you should have noticed his insanity, demented, and down right strange behaviour, lol, thanks for reviewing though! I hope you like this chapter, cus' you can bet it was a right pain to write.
~*UntitledN'stayinthatway ~ Heya Katie B! Long time no talk, contact, whatever . . . thanks for the review, and the offer, I still haven't quite yet decided, but you'll be number one if I decide to have a kind-of beta reader! THANKS!!!
~*Some12 ~ Awwww, thanks! That's real nice of you, as always!!! I haven't ever got ganged up on by a bunch of little kids, and even if I did I'd probably pinch they're cheeks and scare them away with my ugly face! HA! Yeah, but I used that to my advantage in the last chappie (wink, wink, nudge, nudge), lol, thanks again! And I still love Canada, as well as America!
~*Fluff ~ Thanks for reviewing, and what you said in the review! I know Little Draco's like that, well, look at Big Draco! Hehe . . . both kind of insane . . . I hope you like this chapter; it was kind of forced . . .
~*Pyroprincess4rmeverwood ~ Hiya, I hope I spelt your name right, I mean, sorry, if I didn't! Anyways, thanks for reviewing the last chapter, there's more D/H interaction in this chappie I think, I'm not quite sure you know. I hope you enjoy this chappie cus' it was such a pain to write, lol, thanks again!
~*Rupy ~ Here's the post, sorry it took so long! And also, thanks for the review, and also thanks for saying all the things you said.
~*Natyslacks ~ Aw, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!!! I am so happy (well, more than happy but I don't have a very big vocab.) that you thought that last chappie was so funny! I could so sense what you were on about, lol, thank you for being so nice! And even copying out some of the stuff I wrote . . . either that or you copied and pasted it, hmm . . . anyways, I hope you enjoy this chappie as much as the last (although I doubt it)
~*ChIcKa ~ First, thanks for reviewing Fantasy, that was my first ever fic and not all the reviews for it were positive, although most of them were very positive!! Thanks also for reviewing this fic. I think I need all the support I can get to finish it!
~*Cereza ~ Lol, don't worry, I look and feel stoned all the time . . . BUT I'M NOT **see dodgy people around the corner** hehe, anyways, thanks for reviewing! And enjoying it so much, and also, yeah, loads of bratty little kids are my worst nightmare too. I mean, really, I can't even handle two let alone . . . errr, too many to count!
~*Klee_babe ~ Aw, shucks, hehe, sorry, I just thought the word shucks was funny, but you know, I'm kind of thick so really I laugh at anything! Thanks for reviewing, I really do appreciate it! Hugzy!
~*Anonymous ~ Hehe, to be honest, I think I just might make Little Draco stay in this fic right until the end! I mean, he is so fun to write, and so fun to fiddle with, and hopefully, so fun to read too! Lol, anyways, I hope you enjoy this chappie, please do, and also, thanks for reviewing the last chappie!
~*NewSecretRose ~ Thanks for reviewing, even though I didn't understand why the review was for chapter two . . . anyways, THANK YOU!! Lol, I'll maybe talk to you soon?
~*Gina ~ Hiya, thanks for reviewing in an email, fanfiction.net wasn't working for my reviewing either. Hehe, and yeah, that was the chappie where I wanted Hermi and Drake to be in there right mind, but still kiss as well! I mean, it has to happen sometime (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) Lol, thanks for reviewing, bye!
BY THE WAY, I AM POSITIVE I MISSED SOMEONE OUT ON THIS THANK YOU LIST, BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHO. IF I DIDN'T SAY THANKS, YOU KNOW I MEANT TO!!!!!
'=Thoughts "=speech
NO SPOILERS.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN: A horrible realisation
DISCLAIMER: You know, I don't own anything, nope; nothing whatsoever . . . you didn't know that? Oh my god, YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT??? And you think I'M a dumass? HA!!! Well how dumb are you then mister?
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"More cream mummy!!!! MORE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!"
The long day was finally over, and Hermione and Draco were soon to begin another long night that they were dreading even more than the night before this, because of the day's events. However, for once Little Draco was good for something other than playing matchmaker. What, you ask? Why for distracting Hermione and Draco from thinking of one another.
"We've run out of cream Little D," Hermione sighed, her back was aching after hours of searching under the bed for more bloody cream, "Why don't you try some of big Draco's hair gel? Your hand might stick to your face afterwards, but nevermind!!!"
"No! Get your grubby hands off my gel little person! And anyway, I'm sure the door didn't hit you TOO hard, so hard that you need to put my private- state-of-the-art-proven-to-stick-well gel. I mean, if you did I would be happy, and as you can see, I am - "
"Yes you are!!! HAHA!!!! When mummy's here you always happy!!!!!!"
Little Draco grinned goofily and began to rub his face in Draco's hair to try and get some gel on, as he couldn't exactly reach the key that was placed on top of somewhere Little Draco didn't know, so that he could use it to open the secret hidden box under Draco's bed to reach the hair gel.
"You are a disgrace to me!!!!"
"AHHHHHHH!!!! I GOT GLUE IN MY MOUTH!!!!!!!!!!"
"FOR GOD'S SAKE ITS GEL!!!!!!"
"Awwww, don't worry Little D!! Glue's only a solvent and also highly poisonous if sniffed or eaten, but it doesn't matter!!" Hermione patted Little Draco on the head while he grinned once more and began to sing 'Mary had a little lamb'.
"How does he know that? I didn't and he's supposed to be me!!!!" Draco watched Little Draco prance around with one of Hermione's stuffed toys. Next thing he knew, he would want some kind of pink tutu and a diamond- studded tiara . . . but then again, the diamonds would just prove what good taste Draco had.
"Little Draco, could I have my teddy back please? I can't sleep without it," Hermione asked Little Draco, gently, making sure that he was looking at her so that she could snatch the bear without him knowing, and trying to ignore Big Draco's snorts from behind her.
"I WANT THIS ONE MUMMY!!! Hug daddy!! He's big, hairy and warm!!!! JUST LIKE DE BEEEEEEEEAR!!!!!!!"
Hermione was beginning to hope that red was her colour.
"Mummy, have you started on a green dress yet? I've got the dance, but I need the dressie!! Daddy can't make stuff, he's scared he's going to ruin his hair."
"Wouldn't you like a pink dressie Little D?" Hermione coo-ed. Walking around with Little Draco dressed in a pink dress was almost as good as watching actual Draco walk around in a pink dress, hehe . . .
"Little me! Tell your MOTHER that there is no way that you are wearing a pink tutu! Pink is not our colour."
"Well, tell your FATHER, that I never said you were going to wear a tutu, but now that he speaks of it, it is a fairly good idea, and how does he know pink isn't your colour? I bet he has never been manly enough to wear a pink shirt."
"Tell your MOTHER that I am so manly, I would never be seen DEAD in a pink shirt . . . tutu . . . WHATEVER!!!!"
"Tell you dear old daddy that if he were so manly, he would wear a pink shirt or whatever and no one would doubt the fact that he wasn't gay! And, once he is dead, how would he know whether somebody like 'moi' would change your shirt to something . . . more . . . poofy?"
"Tell you damn mother –
"Tell your 'father' never to use such language in front of you, Little Draco."
"TELL YOU BEEPING MOTHER –
"Er, daddy, how can mummy be beeping???" Little Draco asked while fiddling with a strand of loose hair. Draco looked from Little D's face, to the loose hair.
"Boy! Use gel to get that hair back in place!!! . . . Oh God . . . I sound like my father . . ." Draco groaned.
"Mummy, back to the dress –
"Oh yes Little D, I've already made it, look," Hermione reached under the bed and pulled out a long cotton dress with pale green and pink stripes (and with a nice little sun hat to match), "Well, I've almost finished it anyway." And with a wave of her wand, letters began to appear on the dress –
'BIG DRACO SMELLS'
"COOL!!!!! Ron Jr. and Harry Jr. are going to be SOOOOOOOOOOO jealous! Hehe, I bet they'd want a dress that's half pink saying how much their daddy's smell!!!! Hey mummy! Can I wear it to beddy-bys?"
"Of course."
Meanwhile, Big Draco was praying like mad that he would ONLY wear it to bed.
"Night, night mummy, daddy, I'll ignore the noises you'll be making later!!" Little Draco grinned as he drew the curtains of his daddy's four- poster and took his mummy's wand.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Curtain thingy hear my cry, stick together until I sigh!"
Hermione frowned, thank God Little Draco didn't know any REAL spells. She pulled at the curtains, but . . . they would not part, AT ALL. They were stuck, making Hermione and Draco even more 'together' than usual.
"Damn Little D for being so clever . . ."
"See? I wasn't that stupid after all!!!!"
"Where did he learn about all these things? Like, NOISES?"
Draco and Hermione stared into space (which wasn't easy as there was hardly any space at all) before shrieking and both going to either end of the bed, blushing furiously and growling at each other.
"You know this is all your fault HERMIONE!!! ALL YOUR FAULT!!!"
"HOW IS IT MY FAULT????????"
"YOUR FAULT FOR HAVING SUCH IDIOTIC FRIENDS WHICH HAVE SUCH IDIOTIC SONS WHICH TEACH MY YOUNGER IDIOTIC SELF TO TALK OF SUCH IDIOTIC THINGS!!!!!!!" Draco shouted, before stopping and whimpering as though he was going to cry, "OH GOD I SOUND EVEN MORE LIKE FATHER NOW!!!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH DEAR LORD!!!!!!!!!!!"
Hermione raised an eyebrow and tried to clamber even further away from Draco. This was all she needed, being stuck in the dark, on a bed that wasn't hers, next to her archenemy, which turned out to be such a maniac that he thought he was his father. Brilliant, just spiffing.
"Move over HERMIONE, I need room."
"You HAVE room, I know you're fat and everything, but please! I'm a girl who needs space!"
Draco gasped, "YOU'RE A GIRL?????????"
Hermione screamed and launched on Draco, deciding that it would be better to punch him first, before realising that she would be blushing for physically touching him.
"GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH," Draco choked as Hermione strangled him more and more while sitting on him to make sure that he could not get up.
"GAH MY BIG FAT ARSE DRACO!!!"
"I CAN'T GAH YOUR BIG FAT ARSE BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT SITTING ON MY MOUTH!!!!!!"
"WELL IF I WAS THEN YOU'D BITE IT!!!!"
As if they had both just realised what Hermione had said, they both bolted away from each other at top speed. Although it was dark, Hermione could still see Draco blushing but trying to hide it by rubbing his face into the curtains (has no one told him he could get fabric burn? Which would only get him even redder . . .)
Hermione knew she was blushing too, but as he probably couldn't even look at her, she took this to her advantage.
"Oh Coco honey!! Why don't you come over here next to me?" She coo-ed as she saw Draco's face turn into an almost black red.
"Draco dear, come, come, we do not want to disappoint Little Draco now, do we?"
Draco appeared to choke before stuffing a small part of his duvet into his mouth, okay, fine, a LARGE part of his duvet in his mouth (what? He has a big gob . . .)
"Draco . . . darling –
"AISHHDWAHEDHSBJBCJHBASDHJWEJSKS," Draco shrieked, jumping up and dancing around on the bed like some . . . strange freaky dude. He took the duvet, making Hermione fly off, and covered himself making him seem like some sort of badly made Halloween costume that went horribly wrong.
"Er, what are you doing?"
"EVIL KOOKY SPIRIT OF THY MUD, CLEAR THE SKY AND BURN THY BRAIN TILL THY FRY!!!!!! I COMPLETE THOU SPELL WITH THIS – MWHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHASHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH cough, cough, god, it smells in here, did you fart Gran-Herm?"
"Never ask a lady if she's farted! That applies for age too!!"
"Okay . . . so you did fart, god Granny, and I thought you already smelled."
"MUMMY, DADDY!!! WRONG NOISES THAT ARE KEEPING ME AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!!!!!!!"
Hermione and Draco paused for a moment. So, Little D had been listening to them all this time . . . how clever, how nice, how . . . horribly wrong . . .
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Hermione sighed. It was quite comfortable, the position she was in, considering her circumstance. She sighed again, and drooled, then sighed once more and drooled even more. She flung her arms about, whacking some odd thing next to her, and making the thingy 'oomph'. Suddenly, somebody, whacking HER around the face, interrupted her sighing and drooling and whacking random stuff.
"OY!!! MALFOY, I MEAN, DRACO!!!!!"
"What? YOU WHACKED ME FIRST!!!"
"Yeah well . . . I'm more important than you."
"RISE AND SHINE MY LOVELY MUMMY AND DADDY WHO LOVE EACH OTHER OH SO DEARLY!!!!!!" Little Draco pulled the curtains apart and climbed up and into Hermione's lap before she noticed, then tugged at Draco's hair so that he had to lay down to avoid going bald before he breakfast.
"Mummy, I need a bath, I've just realised I smell. Could you bathe me please?" Little Draco grinned.
"Er, I think that DRACO might want to bathe you Little D, I mean, I'm not used to handling little wet naked boys running around singing the Cheeky Girls."
"Ugh, fine, I'll do it. I don't exactly want YOU, HERM, to wash my little self . . . that would just be like washing ME . . . EEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!"
Hermione cringed and twitched, making her face go all demented . . . and continued to twitch even after fifteen minutes later, when Little D had actually managed to drag Draco into the bathroom with a dog brush.
Hermione cringed again as she tried to eavesdrop on Little Draco and his 'daddy's conversation.
"I want a bubble bath!"
"No."
"I want a bubble bath!"
"No."
"I WANT A BUBBLE BATH!!!!!!!!!!"
And before Hermione could hear what Draco said, she heard a gigantic splash and a gargle. Didn't take a genius to see the resemblance between Little Draco and the blob that was his older self . . .
The door creaked slowly open and out came Little Draco, wrapped in a towel and covered in bubbles so that he looked like a giant walking piece of cotton wool, or an overgrown sheep. Behind him was a sopping wet Draco with his hair hanging in his face. He pouted and blew a bubble from one side of his nose.
Hermione could feel herself blushing like mad at the site of Draco all wet and . . . blowing bogey soap bubbles out of his nose. She had seen him like this before . . . why did it feel all different?
And then it hit her, like someone had thrown a brick in her face. She, yes, she, a goody-goody Gryffindork, was, falling, yes, FALLING, for the cold hearted Slytherin., DRACO MALFOY.
All around her, it went dark. The last thing she saw was a miniature Draco running around screaming about poisonous soap being the stuff that had killed Elvis . . .
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So . . . hi! Please review!!! I am still on a blockage, in case of you were wondering, and I am still in need of . . . well, suggestions, ideas, and round about STUFF to help me get over the blockage, so please review and say that you have SOME idea. Most idea in this fic was suggestions made by reviewers, so I owe it all up to you lot for helping me!!! Oh and sorry in advance for the crappiness.
PS. Hey, I'm going on holiday very, very soon. I would only be gone for two weeks though, so really, it won't be that long a wait, so bye guys!
PPS. Thanks all you guys who helped this fic make over 200 reviews!! IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU, I WOULDN'T BE HERE!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!
Summary: Hermione's aunt has been called to Hogwarts as she needs lots of children to be her 'guinea pigs' and of course, only Dumbledore is nice enough to let someone experiment with his students . . .
NARRATED BY MOI!
THANKS A BUNCH OF BANANAS TO:
~*Cleopatra The Great ~ Lol, yeah, I guess you could call Little D 'cute', but you should have noticed his insanity, demented, and down right strange behaviour, lol, thanks for reviewing though! I hope you like this chapter, cus' you can bet it was a right pain to write.
~*UntitledN'stayinthatway ~ Heya Katie B! Long time no talk, contact, whatever . . . thanks for the review, and the offer, I still haven't quite yet decided, but you'll be number one if I decide to have a kind-of beta reader! THANKS!!!
~*Some12 ~ Awwww, thanks! That's real nice of you, as always!!! I haven't ever got ganged up on by a bunch of little kids, and even if I did I'd probably pinch they're cheeks and scare them away with my ugly face! HA! Yeah, but I used that to my advantage in the last chappie (wink, wink, nudge, nudge), lol, thanks again! And I still love Canada, as well as America!
~*Fluff ~ Thanks for reviewing, and what you said in the review! I know Little Draco's like that, well, look at Big Draco! Hehe . . . both kind of insane . . . I hope you like this chapter; it was kind of forced . . .
~*Pyroprincess4rmeverwood ~ Hiya, I hope I spelt your name right, I mean, sorry, if I didn't! Anyways, thanks for reviewing the last chapter, there's more D/H interaction in this chappie I think, I'm not quite sure you know. I hope you enjoy this chappie cus' it was such a pain to write, lol, thanks again!
~*Rupy ~ Here's the post, sorry it took so long! And also, thanks for the review, and also thanks for saying all the things you said.
~*Natyslacks ~ Aw, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!!! I am so happy (well, more than happy but I don't have a very big vocab.) that you thought that last chappie was so funny! I could so sense what you were on about, lol, thank you for being so nice! And even copying out some of the stuff I wrote . . . either that or you copied and pasted it, hmm . . . anyways, I hope you enjoy this chappie as much as the last (although I doubt it)
~*ChIcKa ~ First, thanks for reviewing Fantasy, that was my first ever fic and not all the reviews for it were positive, although most of them were very positive!! Thanks also for reviewing this fic. I think I need all the support I can get to finish it!
~*Cereza ~ Lol, don't worry, I look and feel stoned all the time . . . BUT I'M NOT **see dodgy people around the corner** hehe, anyways, thanks for reviewing! And enjoying it so much, and also, yeah, loads of bratty little kids are my worst nightmare too. I mean, really, I can't even handle two let alone . . . errr, too many to count!
~*Klee_babe ~ Aw, shucks, hehe, sorry, I just thought the word shucks was funny, but you know, I'm kind of thick so really I laugh at anything! Thanks for reviewing, I really do appreciate it! Hugzy!
~*Anonymous ~ Hehe, to be honest, I think I just might make Little Draco stay in this fic right until the end! I mean, he is so fun to write, and so fun to fiddle with, and hopefully, so fun to read too! Lol, anyways, I hope you enjoy this chappie, please do, and also, thanks for reviewing the last chappie!
~*NewSecretRose ~ Thanks for reviewing, even though I didn't understand why the review was for chapter two . . . anyways, THANK YOU!! Lol, I'll maybe talk to you soon?
~*Gina ~ Hiya, thanks for reviewing in an email, fanfiction.net wasn't working for my reviewing either. Hehe, and yeah, that was the chappie where I wanted Hermi and Drake to be in there right mind, but still kiss as well! I mean, it has to happen sometime (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) Lol, thanks for reviewing, bye!
BY THE WAY, I AM POSITIVE I MISSED SOMEONE OUT ON THIS THANK YOU LIST, BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHO. IF I DIDN'T SAY THANKS, YOU KNOW I MEANT TO!!!!!
'=Thoughts "=speech
NO SPOILERS.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN: A horrible realisation
DISCLAIMER: You know, I don't own anything, nope; nothing whatsoever . . . you didn't know that? Oh my god, YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT??? And you think I'M a dumass? HA!!! Well how dumb are you then mister?
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
"More cream mummy!!!! MORE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!"
The long day was finally over, and Hermione and Draco were soon to begin another long night that they were dreading even more than the night before this, because of the day's events. However, for once Little Draco was good for something other than playing matchmaker. What, you ask? Why for distracting Hermione and Draco from thinking of one another.
"We've run out of cream Little D," Hermione sighed, her back was aching after hours of searching under the bed for more bloody cream, "Why don't you try some of big Draco's hair gel? Your hand might stick to your face afterwards, but nevermind!!!"
"No! Get your grubby hands off my gel little person! And anyway, I'm sure the door didn't hit you TOO hard, so hard that you need to put my private- state-of-the-art-proven-to-stick-well gel. I mean, if you did I would be happy, and as you can see, I am - "
"Yes you are!!! HAHA!!!! When mummy's here you always happy!!!!!!"
Little Draco grinned goofily and began to rub his face in Draco's hair to try and get some gel on, as he couldn't exactly reach the key that was placed on top of somewhere Little Draco didn't know, so that he could use it to open the secret hidden box under Draco's bed to reach the hair gel.
"You are a disgrace to me!!!!"
"AHHHHHHH!!!! I GOT GLUE IN MY MOUTH!!!!!!!!!!"
"FOR GOD'S SAKE ITS GEL!!!!!!"
"Awwww, don't worry Little D!! Glue's only a solvent and also highly poisonous if sniffed or eaten, but it doesn't matter!!" Hermione patted Little Draco on the head while he grinned once more and began to sing 'Mary had a little lamb'.
"How does he know that? I didn't and he's supposed to be me!!!!" Draco watched Little Draco prance around with one of Hermione's stuffed toys. Next thing he knew, he would want some kind of pink tutu and a diamond- studded tiara . . . but then again, the diamonds would just prove what good taste Draco had.
"Little Draco, could I have my teddy back please? I can't sleep without it," Hermione asked Little Draco, gently, making sure that he was looking at her so that she could snatch the bear without him knowing, and trying to ignore Big Draco's snorts from behind her.
"I WANT THIS ONE MUMMY!!! Hug daddy!! He's big, hairy and warm!!!! JUST LIKE DE BEEEEEEEEAR!!!!!!!"
Hermione was beginning to hope that red was her colour.
"Mummy, have you started on a green dress yet? I've got the dance, but I need the dressie!! Daddy can't make stuff, he's scared he's going to ruin his hair."
"Wouldn't you like a pink dressie Little D?" Hermione coo-ed. Walking around with Little Draco dressed in a pink dress was almost as good as watching actual Draco walk around in a pink dress, hehe . . .
"Little me! Tell your MOTHER that there is no way that you are wearing a pink tutu! Pink is not our colour."
"Well, tell your FATHER, that I never said you were going to wear a tutu, but now that he speaks of it, it is a fairly good idea, and how does he know pink isn't your colour? I bet he has never been manly enough to wear a pink shirt."
"Tell your MOTHER that I am so manly, I would never be seen DEAD in a pink shirt . . . tutu . . . WHATEVER!!!!"
"Tell you dear old daddy that if he were so manly, he would wear a pink shirt or whatever and no one would doubt the fact that he wasn't gay! And, once he is dead, how would he know whether somebody like 'moi' would change your shirt to something . . . more . . . poofy?"
"Tell you damn mother –
"Tell your 'father' never to use such language in front of you, Little Draco."
"TELL YOU BEEPING MOTHER –
"Er, daddy, how can mummy be beeping???" Little Draco asked while fiddling with a strand of loose hair. Draco looked from Little D's face, to the loose hair.
"Boy! Use gel to get that hair back in place!!! . . . Oh God . . . I sound like my father . . ." Draco groaned.
"Mummy, back to the dress –
"Oh yes Little D, I've already made it, look," Hermione reached under the bed and pulled out a long cotton dress with pale green and pink stripes (and with a nice little sun hat to match), "Well, I've almost finished it anyway." And with a wave of her wand, letters began to appear on the dress –
'BIG DRACO SMELLS'
"COOL!!!!! Ron Jr. and Harry Jr. are going to be SOOOOOOOOOOO jealous! Hehe, I bet they'd want a dress that's half pink saying how much their daddy's smell!!!! Hey mummy! Can I wear it to beddy-bys?"
"Of course."
Meanwhile, Big Draco was praying like mad that he would ONLY wear it to bed.
"Night, night mummy, daddy, I'll ignore the noises you'll be making later!!" Little Draco grinned as he drew the curtains of his daddy's four- poster and took his mummy's wand.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Curtain thingy hear my cry, stick together until I sigh!"
Hermione frowned, thank God Little Draco didn't know any REAL spells. She pulled at the curtains, but . . . they would not part, AT ALL. They were stuck, making Hermione and Draco even more 'together' than usual.
"Damn Little D for being so clever . . ."
"See? I wasn't that stupid after all!!!!"
"Where did he learn about all these things? Like, NOISES?"
Draco and Hermione stared into space (which wasn't easy as there was hardly any space at all) before shrieking and both going to either end of the bed, blushing furiously and growling at each other.
"You know this is all your fault HERMIONE!!! ALL YOUR FAULT!!!"
"HOW IS IT MY FAULT????????"
"YOUR FAULT FOR HAVING SUCH IDIOTIC FRIENDS WHICH HAVE SUCH IDIOTIC SONS WHICH TEACH MY YOUNGER IDIOTIC SELF TO TALK OF SUCH IDIOTIC THINGS!!!!!!!" Draco shouted, before stopping and whimpering as though he was going to cry, "OH GOD I SOUND EVEN MORE LIKE FATHER NOW!!!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH DEAR LORD!!!!!!!!!!!"
Hermione raised an eyebrow and tried to clamber even further away from Draco. This was all she needed, being stuck in the dark, on a bed that wasn't hers, next to her archenemy, which turned out to be such a maniac that he thought he was his father. Brilliant, just spiffing.
"Move over HERMIONE, I need room."
"You HAVE room, I know you're fat and everything, but please! I'm a girl who needs space!"
Draco gasped, "YOU'RE A GIRL?????????"
Hermione screamed and launched on Draco, deciding that it would be better to punch him first, before realising that she would be blushing for physically touching him.
"GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH," Draco choked as Hermione strangled him more and more while sitting on him to make sure that he could not get up.
"GAH MY BIG FAT ARSE DRACO!!!"
"I CAN'T GAH YOUR BIG FAT ARSE BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT SITTING ON MY MOUTH!!!!!!"
"WELL IF I WAS THEN YOU'D BITE IT!!!!"
As if they had both just realised what Hermione had said, they both bolted away from each other at top speed. Although it was dark, Hermione could still see Draco blushing but trying to hide it by rubbing his face into the curtains (has no one told him he could get fabric burn? Which would only get him even redder . . .)
Hermione knew she was blushing too, but as he probably couldn't even look at her, she took this to her advantage.
"Oh Coco honey!! Why don't you come over here next to me?" She coo-ed as she saw Draco's face turn into an almost black red.
"Draco dear, come, come, we do not want to disappoint Little Draco now, do we?"
Draco appeared to choke before stuffing a small part of his duvet into his mouth, okay, fine, a LARGE part of his duvet in his mouth (what? He has a big gob . . .)
"Draco . . . darling –
"AISHHDWAHEDHSBJBCJHBASDHJWEJSKS," Draco shrieked, jumping up and dancing around on the bed like some . . . strange freaky dude. He took the duvet, making Hermione fly off, and covered himself making him seem like some sort of badly made Halloween costume that went horribly wrong.
"Er, what are you doing?"
"EVIL KOOKY SPIRIT OF THY MUD, CLEAR THE SKY AND BURN THY BRAIN TILL THY FRY!!!!!! I COMPLETE THOU SPELL WITH THIS – MWHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHASHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH cough, cough, god, it smells in here, did you fart Gran-Herm?"
"Never ask a lady if she's farted! That applies for age too!!"
"Okay . . . so you did fart, god Granny, and I thought you already smelled."
"MUMMY, DADDY!!! WRONG NOISES THAT ARE KEEPING ME AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!!!!!!!"
Hermione and Draco paused for a moment. So, Little D had been listening to them all this time . . . how clever, how nice, how . . . horribly wrong . . .
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Hermione sighed. It was quite comfortable, the position she was in, considering her circumstance. She sighed again, and drooled, then sighed once more and drooled even more. She flung her arms about, whacking some odd thing next to her, and making the thingy 'oomph'. Suddenly, somebody, whacking HER around the face, interrupted her sighing and drooling and whacking random stuff.
"OY!!! MALFOY, I MEAN, DRACO!!!!!"
"What? YOU WHACKED ME FIRST!!!"
"Yeah well . . . I'm more important than you."
"RISE AND SHINE MY LOVELY MUMMY AND DADDY WHO LOVE EACH OTHER OH SO DEARLY!!!!!!" Little Draco pulled the curtains apart and climbed up and into Hermione's lap before she noticed, then tugged at Draco's hair so that he had to lay down to avoid going bald before he breakfast.
"Mummy, I need a bath, I've just realised I smell. Could you bathe me please?" Little Draco grinned.
"Er, I think that DRACO might want to bathe you Little D, I mean, I'm not used to handling little wet naked boys running around singing the Cheeky Girls."
"Ugh, fine, I'll do it. I don't exactly want YOU, HERM, to wash my little self . . . that would just be like washing ME . . . EEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!"
Hermione cringed and twitched, making her face go all demented . . . and continued to twitch even after fifteen minutes later, when Little D had actually managed to drag Draco into the bathroom with a dog brush.
Hermione cringed again as she tried to eavesdrop on Little Draco and his 'daddy's conversation.
"I want a bubble bath!"
"No."
"I want a bubble bath!"
"No."
"I WANT A BUBBLE BATH!!!!!!!!!!"
And before Hermione could hear what Draco said, she heard a gigantic splash and a gargle. Didn't take a genius to see the resemblance between Little Draco and the blob that was his older self . . .
The door creaked slowly open and out came Little Draco, wrapped in a towel and covered in bubbles so that he looked like a giant walking piece of cotton wool, or an overgrown sheep. Behind him was a sopping wet Draco with his hair hanging in his face. He pouted and blew a bubble from one side of his nose.
Hermione could feel herself blushing like mad at the site of Draco all wet and . . . blowing bogey soap bubbles out of his nose. She had seen him like this before . . . why did it feel all different?
And then it hit her, like someone had thrown a brick in her face. She, yes, she, a goody-goody Gryffindork, was, falling, yes, FALLING, for the cold hearted Slytherin., DRACO MALFOY.
All around her, it went dark. The last thing she saw was a miniature Draco running around screaming about poisonous soap being the stuff that had killed Elvis . . .
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So . . . hi! Please review!!! I am still on a blockage, in case of you were wondering, and I am still in need of . . . well, suggestions, ideas, and round about STUFF to help me get over the blockage, so please review and say that you have SOME idea. Most idea in this fic was suggestions made by reviewers, so I owe it all up to you lot for helping me!!! Oh and sorry in advance for the crappiness.
PS. Hey, I'm going on holiday very, very soon. I would only be gone for two weeks though, so really, it won't be that long a wait, so bye guys!
PPS. Thanks all you guys who helped this fic make over 200 reviews!! IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU, I WOULDN'T BE HERE!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!