A/N: Well, since some people gave me good ideas, I am pleased to say that Boromir will now sing "She Bangs", as performed by William Hung on American Idol. The judges will make some rude commentary. Ok, so here we go.
"Because I am a crazed ruler, I think I'm going to make Boromir go now. I can't wait! Maybe he'll do another Britney Spears song!" Denethor squeals.
"Ok, I'm going to do "She Bangs", as performed by William Hung on American Idol. What the hell is American Idol? What's American?" Boromir says cluelessly.
"Just sing!" Norrington says, throwing his goblet at Boromir's head.
"Alright!" Boromir says.
"She bangs, she bangs
Oh baby
When she moves, she moves
I go crazy
Cause she looks like a flower but she stings like a bee
Like every girl in history
Talk to me
Tell me your name
You blow me off like it's all the same
You lit a fuse and now I'm ticking away
Like a bomb
Yeah, baby
Talk to me
Tell me your sign
You're switching sides like a Gemini
You're playing games and now you're hittin' my heart
Like a drum
Yeah, baby
She bangs, she bangs
Oh baby
When she moves, she moves
I go crazy
Cause she looks like a flower but she stings like a bee
Like every girl in history
She bangs, she bangs
I am wasted by the way she...." Boromir sings, really cuttin' loose and singing. He looks like a total idiot. And because I want you all to get the most for your money, Boromir starts to unbutton his shirt. A ton of Boromir fan girls scream. And, presto!, off goes the shirt!
"Thank you, thank you." Norrington says, waving his hand like, "Can we get on with it?"
"I had no professional training, you know." Boromir beams, like it's the best thing ever.
"That's the surprise of the century!" Norrington sarcastically says.
"How dare you!" Denethor says, jumping up with a watermelon in his hand. Wow, does he eat.
"Hey, fat boy, shut up!" Norrington says.
Faramir is laughing in the corner. Barret Bonden is smirking, looking like he's having a seizure because he's laughing so hard, and Legolas is busy signing autographs. Will it ever end?
"Just rate the performance!" Denethor yells.
"1 of 10." Norrington haughtily says.
"2 of 10." Barret says apologetically.
"6 of 10!" Legolas says.
"9.5 of 10." I'll give you three guesses to say whose vote that is. If you don't know, I suggest going to get your head examined. Seriously.
"Simon Cowell is my hero!" Norrington says. We see a shot of his room with pictures of Simon on the walls. Oh, God, this story is freaky. Why? Why did the muses inspire me to write this? What did I ever do? What is this punishment for? Answer! No! I mean....
"Oh, God." Faramir says.
"Hey, leave me alone!" Norrington says.
"Yeah, leave him alone! You can't, I can!" Legolas says, aiming his bow and arrow at his head. He is going through a Will Turner moment. Everyone is having out-of-body experiences. Weird.
"What?" Faramir says.
"How can I repay you?" Norrington asks, thankful to Legolas for sticking up for him.
"You can kiss my feet." Legolas says.
"Really?" Norrington asks.
"No, Legolas can kiss the very ground I walk upon!" Denethor says.
"I'm going to walk around in naught but a loincloth!" Faramir says. Somewhere in the back, PopcornLeader screams, "YES!!!!"
"LET ME SEE!!!" PopcornLeader screams, tearing through the secuirity guards and rushing up to Faramir.
Faramir walks away in disgust.
"Denethor, I honor the ground you walk upon! Let me kiss it instead of Legolas!" Boromir says.
"That's 'Daddy' to you." Denethor says.
"This is disgusting." Norrington says and leaves with his high-and-mighty superior self.
A/N: Yes, this chapter was totally insane. What more do you want? I am the crazy one! MUAHAHAH!!! Erm, sorry. What I meant was that you are all so wonderful! No I don't! HA!!! And PopcornLeader, I am very sorry, but you will have to give up Faramir. I already have his ring! Aha! Oh, wait, that's Frodo's ring. SHOOT! Erm, sorry the rest of you people. Faramir and Pippin will RULE THE WORLD!!