CRAZY LUNATIC EXPERIMENTS
Summary: Hermione's aunt has been called to Hogwarts as she needs lots of children to be her 'guinea pigs' and of course, only Dumbledore is nice enough to let someone experiment with his students . . .
NARRATED BY MOI!
I THINK I AM USING ONE OF THE REVIEWERS SUGGESTIONS, THINK.
BIG THANKS TO EVERYONE, EVERYONE IS:
~Burgundyred ~ Nevermind, everyone is lazy you know, sigh . . . I don't particularly like Serena either, maybe I should kill her off . . . get someone to shoot her, heh, that would be fun . . . but alas, it would be too gruesome for a fic like this, for shame . . . thanks for reviewing anyways.
~Natyslacks ~ Thanks you for reviewing, and yeah, practically everyone found the last chapter confusing, even me when I read it back! Lol, and I love the name Bob too . . .
~Alex ~ Hi! Yeah, I know everyone is yelling, it's just I don't like peaceful atmosphere . . . its scary . . . and I will try not to get everyone to yell, but seeing as you reviewed chapter 2, I'm guessing that it's kind of late . . . anyways, thanks for the review!! Appreciate it!
~Some12 ~ Lol, yeah, I went to China, so many steps I had to climb, it was well annoying, but, a holiday IS a holiday! Thank you for your suggestions, I might use that one about the field trip, but cus' I already did it (chocolate factory) I don't really want to do it again, and also, I'm leaving the party thing behind cus no one actually understood it anyway! Lol, oh and yes, it was a fancy dress party, which is a costume party in case you don't use the same words as me! Thanks for reviewing!
~Pyroprincess4rmeverwood ~ Oh well, hardly anyone actually understood the last chapter. Nevermind, it wasn't important anyways . . . not much anyway! Thanks for reviewing, here's the update.
~Tinuviel Storm ~ Hehe, thanks, you know how stupid I was? I forgot that I told people to put MAHA, and when I read my reviews, I was like, why are they all maha-ing at me? Of course, I remember like, a week later, but, better late than never! Thanks for reviewing and I hope you get this chappie!
~ShortStuff10 ~ Hiya Ding, lol, Little Ron was dressed as Viktor Krum (much to Ron's annoyance) and Dr Granger was the only person who wasn't dressed up – her excuse was that it was her birthday *rolls eyes *, anyways, thanks for the review! Appreciate it!!!
~Paprika90 ~ I'm not that sure if Lil' D is going to be there forever, but he is going to stay for a long time. The reason why I'm not sure is because he IS kind of a part of Draco, so Little Draco might eventually go back into Big Draco, I'm not sure though, it might make people upset . . .
~Milocachica ~ Lol, sorry, I know it was confusing, you sound mad . . . oh well, forget the last chapter! I just needed to get something out, and anyways, it's not important. THIS chapter is though, hehe . . . thanks for the review by the way!
~Michelle ~ Lol, loved your review, I found it so amusing! Ha! Anyways, thanks a bundle for the review, and what you said as well, I'm really happy! YAY!! (Who wouldn't be?) Lol, anyways, bye! Enjoy!
~Dracoluver2009 ~ Aw, thanks, nice of you to say something like that! Here's the next chappie, please enjoy it and remember to review it afterwards!!! PLEASE!
~Cereza ~ LOL, YOU GO BOB!!!! (THX ^.~)
~Spaced Out Space Cadet ~ I went to China somewhere, I don't know, I am useless with places (not to mention practically everything else as well . . .) thanks so much for the review, and my family all think I'm weird as well!!! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! HA!!! Lol.
~Princess Faye ~ Lol, I didn't get your review so I'm just laughing! Lol.
~Gina ~ Aw, you are so nice!! The review brightened up my day too!! You see, my life has been crappy lately, but I guess I'm not the only one . . . oh well, sugar will make everything better . . . hehe
~xAmericanxSunsetx ~ Hehe, thanks a bundle! Nevermind what the review is about, you reviewed and that's what matters! YAY! I'm unsorted everyday, I think most people are . . . who cares? We eat, sleep and live, that's what matters, lol, yeah, I am so shallow . . .
~Rupy ~ Thanks so much rupy, really appreciate you reviewing, hope you enjoy this chappie too!
~Anonymous ~ Sorry!! I know it took really long, and it wasn't even worth much of the time I took . . . oh well, I needed a break, BADLY, why . . . I don't know. Hmm . . .
~Happigolucki616~ Lol YAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYYA!!!!!!!! You're always so cheerful, its ultra hard not to scream . . . hehehehehe . . . thanks so much for reviewing everytime, I really don't know how I can thank you enough!!!!
~ChIcKa ~ Okay, I really, REEEEEEEEEALLY, hope I emailed you with this update. I'm so forgetful, it's annoying myself . . . but then again, everything seems to be annoying me, god I feel so strange! Oh well, I'll get over it . . . god, am I talking to myself again? GAH.
'=Thoughts "=speech
NO SPOILERS.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: The trouble with Little Draco
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing! I know I have just been on holiday, and I know that you have to at least have SOME money for a holiday (to get there, get back, buy stuff when you are there, pay for a hotel, that kind of crap) but really, if I was rich then I would go somewhere posh instead of where I actually did go .
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Hermione couldn't sleep. She looked to her left, and saw Little Draco, snoring and drooling all over her pyjama pants, and to her right was Big Draco, looking so cute when he was asleep, that Hermione didn't even dare to look at him anymore. Everywhere she turned, there was a Draco. She couldn't get away from THE DRACOS.
Why was Little Draco in her bed? Well, he had suddenly come up to her in the middle of the night, complaining that he was too attractive and he couldn't decide how many girls he should date at one time. She had complained and told him to go back to sleep. So he did – in her bed.
"Shut up."
Hermione looked to her right and saw Big Draco hanging onto her sleeve. She looked away immediately, before she did something that she regretted . . .
"Granger . . . shut up."
He was talking in his sleep. About her . . . Oo lala
"I said shut up about Granger . . . no . . . ew . . . yes . . . mmmm, cake."
She bent down to try and hear more of what he was saying, making sure that her hair wouldn't wake him up.
". .. . . . .. . AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"
Draco sprung up hitting Hermione accidentally as he did so. His eyes were wide and he looked kind of shocked as Hermione clutched a big lump on her forehead.
"Can I just say, OUCH!!!!" Hermione gasped, rubbing her head in pain.
"What? It's not my fault you were leaning so close to me . . . actually, what WERE YOU DOING leaning so close to me?" Draco asked suspiciously, edging slightly further away from Hermione. Little Draco yawned and had one eye open while the other was closed. Freaky look really.
"Daddy, you have the same problem as me!!! Obviously we're too attractive. Girls just can't control themselves around us and they can't help but throw themselves at us!!!" Little Draco patted Hermione on the back, "Do not be afraid mummy, YOU ARE NOT ALONE."
"I was not trying to . . . KISS you if that's what you're thinking!! I am merely . . ."
"Trying to kiss me?" Draco asked, puking up his lips and making kissy noises, "Don't hide it Hermione! I know you love me!!"
For a second there, Hermione thought he was serious. That was, of course, before both Little and Big Draco burst into fits of laughter.
"What is so funny???" Hermione blushed furiously – why were they laughing at her???
"Its just that mummy, your face was shocked as if we'd found out some deep, dark . . . daddy, mummy fancies you." Little Draco grinned and began humming the wedding tune and mumbling about wedding bells while Draco blinked and stared at him.
"Little me, don't say things like that, it's . . . evil, to say stuff like that."
"BUT TIS TRUE!!!!!!!!!!! SEE, MUMMY WOULDN'T LOOK SO RED AND EMBARRASSED IF SHE DIDN'T FANCY YOU!!!!!!! And she would have slapped me by now as well, hehe."
Hermione hadn't realised how good an eyesight Little Draco had. Oh, she'd have to do something about that . . .
"SHUT UP!!! THIS IS LIKE THAT NIGHTMARE I HAD JUST A FEW MINUTES AGO!!! Except there isn't an enormous cake with someone trying to kiss me inside it . . ." Draco pondered.
"Hehe," Little Draco laughed, "Yeah, and mummy's the one trying to kiss you!!"
"SHE doesn't like me that way . . . I'm not even sure she even likes me at all . . . do you???" The two Draco's looked at Hermione with their left eyebrows raised. It was kind of creepy to have two people who looked near identical, stare at you and not stop until you answered exactly what they wanted.
"Well . . . erm . . ." Crap, she was never good at lying.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Draco screamed girlishly, looking absolutely petrified, "OH MY GOD, OHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Heh . . ." Hermione hesitated. Maybe she could laugh it off and say it was a joke . . . that was, if she could actually make herself even face the same direction as him . . .
"DON'T SAY ANYTHING YOU . . . YOU . . . BOOB."
Draco hurriedly pulled the covers over his head and began pinching himself. Little Draco stared at him for a while.
"You know mummy, I think daddy's insane, more so than he usually is," Little Draco yawned, "Oh well, if he's still like that in the morning, we can always throw him out of the window, I'm sure no one would care." And with that, the two Draco's began to snore simultaneously.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
The next morning was disastrous. Draco had woken up especially early, just so that he could get out before Hermione and Little D. Once Hermione had actually gotten down to the muggle studies classroom and began to eat breakfast, Draco wouldn't even look at her, even when Little D clung onto his head and stayed there for the rest of breakfast.
"Mummy . . ."
Hermione looked at Draco's head. Little Draco grinned back at her and pointed to Big Draco's head. Hermione grinned as well. For the first time, ever, in her life, Draco Malfoy, THE DRACO MALFOY was BLUSHING. Yes, blushing! Why? . . . I don't know!!!!
"Oo ooooh, daddy, you're blushing, you're blushing cus mummy's looking at you!!!!! OOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"
"SHUT UP!!!!!!!! I DO NOT . . . 'blush'." Draco shuddered at the word.
"OOOOOOO, YEAH YOU DO, OOOOH, LOOK AT YOU!!!!"
"I SAID SHUT UP!!!!!"
"OOOOOH YEAH, HE'S BLUSHING, EVERYONE LOOK, DADDYS BLUSHING!!!!!! OOOOOOOOO!!!"
"Grrrr, THAT'S IT!!!!" And with that, Draco began to try and wrestle the small clingy object off of his head.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH, CHILD ABUSE, CHILD ABUSE!!!!!!!!"
Hermione snorted as she watched them. Oh what a wonderful world we live in.
Suddenly, she heard a cry from another table, but she chose to ignore it. It couldn't be more important than her eating.
"Excuse me."
Hermione turned around. Someone was bothering her. Couldn't be worth much then.
"Hermione," Seamus began, "You're scaring my only child. Please make them stop."
She stared at him for a while, then at the bawling child in his arms. God they were so useless. Why couldn't they be cruel and heartless yet lovable, like her Little Draco? That way, they could bully people yet not be bothered about it, it was truly incredible really.
"Seamus, its easy to control them," Hermione started, sighing as she picked up a piece of toast, "Little Draco is very easy to manipulate - look." She threw the toast at Little D's head.
"Oooo, toast!!" Little Draco dropped from Big Draco's head, and began to growl at the toast and 'paw' at it with one of his hands.
"Remember Seamus," Hermione continued, "Children are easy to manipulate, think of them as . . . doggies, there's not much difference anyway."
Seamus stared at her for a while before slowly backing away, mumbling something about 'Being around Malfoy for too long . . .'
"Hermione!!!!!!!!!!!!"
God. It was Serena. GAH.
"Yes . . .?" Hermione said through gritted teeth. It was hard to look at someone who hardly ever looked in the mirror . . .
"Come with me!! Tis time for one of the most brilliant experiments, ever, to begin!!!"
'Oh God she's going to kill me . . .' Hermione couldn't help thinking as she got up slowly, a little Draco hanging onto her foot with a piece of toast stuffed into his mouth.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
"This potion here is called . . . well, actually, it doesn't have a name yet, but we know what it does! It turns the taker into the actual age of their brain, so, if we gave these to your child, and they turned into a six year old – growing two years – that means they had an advanced brain for their age!!! Now, we shall start handing the potions around. Feed them to your child immediately, they won't taste nice when they're cold!"
Everyone was gathered in the great hall at Hogwarts. The wind was blowing through the giant glass windows, sending a chilly breeze down everybody's spine. Either that, or someone had turned the air conditioning on (DO NOT point out that there isn't any air conditioning – MY FIC!).
Serena was now telling everyone what to do – basically try and force down an ugly looking potion into his or her little-ones throats. Not hard, or so it may seem.
Once Serena had handed out all the potions and the couples had each started to try and get their child to drink up, the problems became all too clear. Some were crying and saying how much they hated this world, others were whining, saying it wasn't fair that THEY had to drink it when everyone else refused, and some (namely Little Draco) were screaming about how he was going to get a social worker involved and sue every damn person that got in his way.
"Please Little Draco? Do it for your mummy!"
"NO!!! YOU'RE NOT MY MUMMY!!!!!! A MOTHER WOULD NEVER GIVE HER CHILD SUCH . . . THINGYS!!! I'll call you . . . Hermsi from now on!!!!" Little Draco raised a finger just as Hermione was about to speak. Boy did that child have control.
Hermione turned and glared at Draco who still refused to look at her. She knew he was still in shock, in shock about the fact that SHE fancied him, but it wasn't as if he had never had anyone fancy him before, and now he was just sitting there, looking out of the window at some lady trying to get a coin out of the gutter with her son's half-chewed bubblegum.
"Draco Malfoy! You could at least try and help you're . . . mini-me! See, he isn't even calling me mummy anymore! Imagine!! Not admitting to your own mother!"
"No worries . . . I do that all the time."
"COME AND TRY TO MAKE HIM DRINK IT OR . . . OR . . . I'LL KISS YOU!!!!"
Draco stared wide-eyed at her before leaping up and getting Little Draco in a headlock to try and make him swallow the damned potion.
"Ahhhhhhhh."
"Shut up and drink it you midget!"
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"
"GAAAAAH MY BUTTOCKS!!!!!"
"MAAAAAAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!"
Finally, (after many more statements with 'ahhhh' in) Little Draco swallowed the enormous bottle of potion whole . . . and began to cry for the first time ever.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"
"Shut up. Malfoy's don't cry."
"Well I don't want to be a Malfoy then!!!"
"WHAT??? Be a Malfoy and have power, bully people and take credit for stuff you didn't do, what's so bad about that?"
Little Draco stopped crying, "Yeah, I see what you mean there . . . anyway, I got to go pee pee, wait for me!!!!!"
Little Draco scurried off, his legs crossed and his eyes bulging. Draco stared after him for a minute before laughing an evil laugh that would make Dr Evil proud, "Like hell I'm going to wait for him." And with those words, he ran out of the great hall, not even looking back.
Hermione stared at the place that Draco had been standing just a few seconds ago. He was so immature. Sometimes, she thought Little Draco was even better than him, and THAT MUST be bad. Sigh, why had she fallen for him of all people? Why couldn't it have been Harry? Or Ron? Even SNAPE seemed a better option than him, and he was like, how many years older than her? Oh what a shame
"God, where did he go? I wanted some tips on shaving," A deep voice from behind her woke Hermione from her thoughts. Slowly, she turned around to see who the speaker was.
There, in front of her, stood a 6ft tall boy who looked around seventeen with spiked up, platinum blonde hair. He raised an eyebrow at her.
"I know, my voice has completely freaked. Don't look at me like that Hermsi's, hey, if you REALLY want me to call you mummy again, just say so. I wonder where daddy ran off to . . . you threatened to kiss him again didn't you?????"
Hermione was in shock. Complete shock. Little Draco was no longer LITTLE.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
I know, steering off experiments again, but hey! Everyone likes Little D . . . well, the majority, lol (and now he's not little, wink, wink). Anyways, hooray! I got this done, and on time! I'm so happy! Please review, next chapter I will try to get posted soon, but no promises. But, now I really NEED YOUR ATTENTION.
I am thinking of taking a break from fanfiction.net, just a small break, you know, to clear my head and that sort. I'm only thinking about it, but if you could, please tell me what YOU think about it! PLEASE?
Summary: Hermione's aunt has been called to Hogwarts as she needs lots of children to be her 'guinea pigs' and of course, only Dumbledore is nice enough to let someone experiment with his students . . .
NARRATED BY MOI!
I THINK I AM USING ONE OF THE REVIEWERS SUGGESTIONS, THINK.
BIG THANKS TO EVERYONE, EVERYONE IS:
~Burgundyred ~ Nevermind, everyone is lazy you know, sigh . . . I don't particularly like Serena either, maybe I should kill her off . . . get someone to shoot her, heh, that would be fun . . . but alas, it would be too gruesome for a fic like this, for shame . . . thanks for reviewing anyways.
~Natyslacks ~ Thanks you for reviewing, and yeah, practically everyone found the last chapter confusing, even me when I read it back! Lol, and I love the name Bob too . . .
~Alex ~ Hi! Yeah, I know everyone is yelling, it's just I don't like peaceful atmosphere . . . its scary . . . and I will try not to get everyone to yell, but seeing as you reviewed chapter 2, I'm guessing that it's kind of late . . . anyways, thanks for the review!! Appreciate it!
~Some12 ~ Lol, yeah, I went to China, so many steps I had to climb, it was well annoying, but, a holiday IS a holiday! Thank you for your suggestions, I might use that one about the field trip, but cus' I already did it (chocolate factory) I don't really want to do it again, and also, I'm leaving the party thing behind cus no one actually understood it anyway! Lol, oh and yes, it was a fancy dress party, which is a costume party in case you don't use the same words as me! Thanks for reviewing!
~Pyroprincess4rmeverwood ~ Oh well, hardly anyone actually understood the last chapter. Nevermind, it wasn't important anyways . . . not much anyway! Thanks for reviewing, here's the update.
~Tinuviel Storm ~ Hehe, thanks, you know how stupid I was? I forgot that I told people to put MAHA, and when I read my reviews, I was like, why are they all maha-ing at me? Of course, I remember like, a week later, but, better late than never! Thanks for reviewing and I hope you get this chappie!
~ShortStuff10 ~ Hiya Ding, lol, Little Ron was dressed as Viktor Krum (much to Ron's annoyance) and Dr Granger was the only person who wasn't dressed up – her excuse was that it was her birthday *rolls eyes *, anyways, thanks for the review! Appreciate it!!!
~Paprika90 ~ I'm not that sure if Lil' D is going to be there forever, but he is going to stay for a long time. The reason why I'm not sure is because he IS kind of a part of Draco, so Little Draco might eventually go back into Big Draco, I'm not sure though, it might make people upset . . .
~Milocachica ~ Lol, sorry, I know it was confusing, you sound mad . . . oh well, forget the last chapter! I just needed to get something out, and anyways, it's not important. THIS chapter is though, hehe . . . thanks for the review by the way!
~Michelle ~ Lol, loved your review, I found it so amusing! Ha! Anyways, thanks a bundle for the review, and what you said as well, I'm really happy! YAY!! (Who wouldn't be?) Lol, anyways, bye! Enjoy!
~Dracoluver2009 ~ Aw, thanks, nice of you to say something like that! Here's the next chappie, please enjoy it and remember to review it afterwards!!! PLEASE!
~Cereza ~ LOL, YOU GO BOB!!!! (THX ^.~)
~Spaced Out Space Cadet ~ I went to China somewhere, I don't know, I am useless with places (not to mention practically everything else as well . . .) thanks so much for the review, and my family all think I'm weird as well!!! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! HA!!! Lol.
~Princess Faye ~ Lol, I didn't get your review so I'm just laughing! Lol.
~Gina ~ Aw, you are so nice!! The review brightened up my day too!! You see, my life has been crappy lately, but I guess I'm not the only one . . . oh well, sugar will make everything better . . . hehe
~xAmericanxSunsetx ~ Hehe, thanks a bundle! Nevermind what the review is about, you reviewed and that's what matters! YAY! I'm unsorted everyday, I think most people are . . . who cares? We eat, sleep and live, that's what matters, lol, yeah, I am so shallow . . .
~Rupy ~ Thanks so much rupy, really appreciate you reviewing, hope you enjoy this chappie too!
~Anonymous ~ Sorry!! I know it took really long, and it wasn't even worth much of the time I took . . . oh well, I needed a break, BADLY, why . . . I don't know. Hmm . . .
~Happigolucki616~ Lol YAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYYA!!!!!!!! You're always so cheerful, its ultra hard not to scream . . . hehehehehe . . . thanks so much for reviewing everytime, I really don't know how I can thank you enough!!!!
~ChIcKa ~ Okay, I really, REEEEEEEEEALLY, hope I emailed you with this update. I'm so forgetful, it's annoying myself . . . but then again, everything seems to be annoying me, god I feel so strange! Oh well, I'll get over it . . . god, am I talking to myself again? GAH.
'=Thoughts "=speech
NO SPOILERS.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: The trouble with Little Draco
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing! I know I have just been on holiday, and I know that you have to at least have SOME money for a holiday (to get there, get back, buy stuff when you are there, pay for a hotel, that kind of crap) but really, if I was rich then I would go somewhere posh instead of where I actually did go .
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Hermione couldn't sleep. She looked to her left, and saw Little Draco, snoring and drooling all over her pyjama pants, and to her right was Big Draco, looking so cute when he was asleep, that Hermione didn't even dare to look at him anymore. Everywhere she turned, there was a Draco. She couldn't get away from THE DRACOS.
Why was Little Draco in her bed? Well, he had suddenly come up to her in the middle of the night, complaining that he was too attractive and he couldn't decide how many girls he should date at one time. She had complained and told him to go back to sleep. So he did – in her bed.
"Shut up."
Hermione looked to her right and saw Big Draco hanging onto her sleeve. She looked away immediately, before she did something that she regretted . . .
"Granger . . . shut up."
He was talking in his sleep. About her . . . Oo lala
"I said shut up about Granger . . . no . . . ew . . . yes . . . mmmm, cake."
She bent down to try and hear more of what he was saying, making sure that her hair wouldn't wake him up.
". .. . . . .. . AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"
Draco sprung up hitting Hermione accidentally as he did so. His eyes were wide and he looked kind of shocked as Hermione clutched a big lump on her forehead.
"Can I just say, OUCH!!!!" Hermione gasped, rubbing her head in pain.
"What? It's not my fault you were leaning so close to me . . . actually, what WERE YOU DOING leaning so close to me?" Draco asked suspiciously, edging slightly further away from Hermione. Little Draco yawned and had one eye open while the other was closed. Freaky look really.
"Daddy, you have the same problem as me!!! Obviously we're too attractive. Girls just can't control themselves around us and they can't help but throw themselves at us!!!" Little Draco patted Hermione on the back, "Do not be afraid mummy, YOU ARE NOT ALONE."
"I was not trying to . . . KISS you if that's what you're thinking!! I am merely . . ."
"Trying to kiss me?" Draco asked, puking up his lips and making kissy noises, "Don't hide it Hermione! I know you love me!!"
For a second there, Hermione thought he was serious. That was, of course, before both Little and Big Draco burst into fits of laughter.
"What is so funny???" Hermione blushed furiously – why were they laughing at her???
"Its just that mummy, your face was shocked as if we'd found out some deep, dark . . . daddy, mummy fancies you." Little Draco grinned and began humming the wedding tune and mumbling about wedding bells while Draco blinked and stared at him.
"Little me, don't say things like that, it's . . . evil, to say stuff like that."
"BUT TIS TRUE!!!!!!!!!!! SEE, MUMMY WOULDN'T LOOK SO RED AND EMBARRASSED IF SHE DIDN'T FANCY YOU!!!!!!! And she would have slapped me by now as well, hehe."
Hermione hadn't realised how good an eyesight Little Draco had. Oh, she'd have to do something about that . . .
"SHUT UP!!! THIS IS LIKE THAT NIGHTMARE I HAD JUST A FEW MINUTES AGO!!! Except there isn't an enormous cake with someone trying to kiss me inside it . . ." Draco pondered.
"Hehe," Little Draco laughed, "Yeah, and mummy's the one trying to kiss you!!"
"SHE doesn't like me that way . . . I'm not even sure she even likes me at all . . . do you???" The two Draco's looked at Hermione with their left eyebrows raised. It was kind of creepy to have two people who looked near identical, stare at you and not stop until you answered exactly what they wanted.
"Well . . . erm . . ." Crap, she was never good at lying.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Draco screamed girlishly, looking absolutely petrified, "OH MY GOD, OHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Heh . . ." Hermione hesitated. Maybe she could laugh it off and say it was a joke . . . that was, if she could actually make herself even face the same direction as him . . .
"DON'T SAY ANYTHING YOU . . . YOU . . . BOOB."
Draco hurriedly pulled the covers over his head and began pinching himself. Little Draco stared at him for a while.
"You know mummy, I think daddy's insane, more so than he usually is," Little Draco yawned, "Oh well, if he's still like that in the morning, we can always throw him out of the window, I'm sure no one would care." And with that, the two Draco's began to snore simultaneously.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
The next morning was disastrous. Draco had woken up especially early, just so that he could get out before Hermione and Little D. Once Hermione had actually gotten down to the muggle studies classroom and began to eat breakfast, Draco wouldn't even look at her, even when Little D clung onto his head and stayed there for the rest of breakfast.
"Mummy . . ."
Hermione looked at Draco's head. Little Draco grinned back at her and pointed to Big Draco's head. Hermione grinned as well. For the first time, ever, in her life, Draco Malfoy, THE DRACO MALFOY was BLUSHING. Yes, blushing! Why? . . . I don't know!!!!
"Oo ooooh, daddy, you're blushing, you're blushing cus mummy's looking at you!!!!! OOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"
"SHUT UP!!!!!!!! I DO NOT . . . 'blush'." Draco shuddered at the word.
"OOOOOOO, YEAH YOU DO, OOOOH, LOOK AT YOU!!!!"
"I SAID SHUT UP!!!!!"
"OOOOOH YEAH, HE'S BLUSHING, EVERYONE LOOK, DADDYS BLUSHING!!!!!! OOOOOOOOO!!!"
"Grrrr, THAT'S IT!!!!" And with that, Draco began to try and wrestle the small clingy object off of his head.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH, CHILD ABUSE, CHILD ABUSE!!!!!!!!"
Hermione snorted as she watched them. Oh what a wonderful world we live in.
Suddenly, she heard a cry from another table, but she chose to ignore it. It couldn't be more important than her eating.
"Excuse me."
Hermione turned around. Someone was bothering her. Couldn't be worth much then.
"Hermione," Seamus began, "You're scaring my only child. Please make them stop."
She stared at him for a while, then at the bawling child in his arms. God they were so useless. Why couldn't they be cruel and heartless yet lovable, like her Little Draco? That way, they could bully people yet not be bothered about it, it was truly incredible really.
"Seamus, its easy to control them," Hermione started, sighing as she picked up a piece of toast, "Little Draco is very easy to manipulate - look." She threw the toast at Little D's head.
"Oooo, toast!!" Little Draco dropped from Big Draco's head, and began to growl at the toast and 'paw' at it with one of his hands.
"Remember Seamus," Hermione continued, "Children are easy to manipulate, think of them as . . . doggies, there's not much difference anyway."
Seamus stared at her for a while before slowly backing away, mumbling something about 'Being around Malfoy for too long . . .'
"Hermione!!!!!!!!!!!!"
God. It was Serena. GAH.
"Yes . . .?" Hermione said through gritted teeth. It was hard to look at someone who hardly ever looked in the mirror . . .
"Come with me!! Tis time for one of the most brilliant experiments, ever, to begin!!!"
'Oh God she's going to kill me . . .' Hermione couldn't help thinking as she got up slowly, a little Draco hanging onto her foot with a piece of toast stuffed into his mouth.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
"This potion here is called . . . well, actually, it doesn't have a name yet, but we know what it does! It turns the taker into the actual age of their brain, so, if we gave these to your child, and they turned into a six year old – growing two years – that means they had an advanced brain for their age!!! Now, we shall start handing the potions around. Feed them to your child immediately, they won't taste nice when they're cold!"
Everyone was gathered in the great hall at Hogwarts. The wind was blowing through the giant glass windows, sending a chilly breeze down everybody's spine. Either that, or someone had turned the air conditioning on (DO NOT point out that there isn't any air conditioning – MY FIC!).
Serena was now telling everyone what to do – basically try and force down an ugly looking potion into his or her little-ones throats. Not hard, or so it may seem.
Once Serena had handed out all the potions and the couples had each started to try and get their child to drink up, the problems became all too clear. Some were crying and saying how much they hated this world, others were whining, saying it wasn't fair that THEY had to drink it when everyone else refused, and some (namely Little Draco) were screaming about how he was going to get a social worker involved and sue every damn person that got in his way.
"Please Little Draco? Do it for your mummy!"
"NO!!! YOU'RE NOT MY MUMMY!!!!!! A MOTHER WOULD NEVER GIVE HER CHILD SUCH . . . THINGYS!!! I'll call you . . . Hermsi from now on!!!!" Little Draco raised a finger just as Hermione was about to speak. Boy did that child have control.
Hermione turned and glared at Draco who still refused to look at her. She knew he was still in shock, in shock about the fact that SHE fancied him, but it wasn't as if he had never had anyone fancy him before, and now he was just sitting there, looking out of the window at some lady trying to get a coin out of the gutter with her son's half-chewed bubblegum.
"Draco Malfoy! You could at least try and help you're . . . mini-me! See, he isn't even calling me mummy anymore! Imagine!! Not admitting to your own mother!"
"No worries . . . I do that all the time."
"COME AND TRY TO MAKE HIM DRINK IT OR . . . OR . . . I'LL KISS YOU!!!!"
Draco stared wide-eyed at her before leaping up and getting Little Draco in a headlock to try and make him swallow the damned potion.
"Ahhhhhhhh."
"Shut up and drink it you midget!"
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"
"GAAAAAH MY BUTTOCKS!!!!!"
"MAAAAAAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!"
Finally, (after many more statements with 'ahhhh' in) Little Draco swallowed the enormous bottle of potion whole . . . and began to cry for the first time ever.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"
"Shut up. Malfoy's don't cry."
"Well I don't want to be a Malfoy then!!!"
"WHAT??? Be a Malfoy and have power, bully people and take credit for stuff you didn't do, what's so bad about that?"
Little Draco stopped crying, "Yeah, I see what you mean there . . . anyway, I got to go pee pee, wait for me!!!!!"
Little Draco scurried off, his legs crossed and his eyes bulging. Draco stared after him for a minute before laughing an evil laugh that would make Dr Evil proud, "Like hell I'm going to wait for him." And with those words, he ran out of the great hall, not even looking back.
Hermione stared at the place that Draco had been standing just a few seconds ago. He was so immature. Sometimes, she thought Little Draco was even better than him, and THAT MUST be bad. Sigh, why had she fallen for him of all people? Why couldn't it have been Harry? Or Ron? Even SNAPE seemed a better option than him, and he was like, how many years older than her? Oh what a shame
"God, where did he go? I wanted some tips on shaving," A deep voice from behind her woke Hermione from her thoughts. Slowly, she turned around to see who the speaker was.
There, in front of her, stood a 6ft tall boy who looked around seventeen with spiked up, platinum blonde hair. He raised an eyebrow at her.
"I know, my voice has completely freaked. Don't look at me like that Hermsi's, hey, if you REALLY want me to call you mummy again, just say so. I wonder where daddy ran off to . . . you threatened to kiss him again didn't you?????"
Hermione was in shock. Complete shock. Little Draco was no longer LITTLE.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
I know, steering off experiments again, but hey! Everyone likes Little D . . . well, the majority, lol (and now he's not little, wink, wink). Anyways, hooray! I got this done, and on time! I'm so happy! Please review, next chapter I will try to get posted soon, but no promises. But, now I really NEED YOUR ATTENTION.
I am thinking of taking a break from fanfiction.net, just a small break, you know, to clear my head and that sort. I'm only thinking about it, but if you could, please tell me what YOU think about it! PLEASE?