Chapter 5: No One is to Blame
A/N: Thanks for the feedback guys, its helped a lot. I don't feel
completely satisfied with this chapter, but oh well. I suggest that you
guys soak up the last light moments of this fanfic because the angst level
is about to increase a hundredfold in the upcoming chapters
Ryan woke up to the insistent buzzing of his cell phone. Dazedly he lifted his head and glanced around blearily for the phone. He spotted the faint outline of it in his jeans. He felt around, determined to reach his jeans without moving from his current position. After some struggling, he succeeded, lifting the cell phone to his ear.
"Hello?" he croaked, noting the empty space beside him and the sound of the shower running.
"Chino?" Through his early-morning daze, Ryan could make out Summer's distraught voice. She sounded on the brink of tears. Ryan shook his head forcefully and sat up. "Summer? What's wrong?"
"It's Seth.." Summer whispered before breaking down into sobs. Ryan's stomach immediately took a sickening swoop. He imagined a thousand horrible possibilities, his throat drying up.
"What about Seth?" Silence reigned on the other end, punctuated only by quiet sobs "Summer?" he asked, a note of desperation creeping in his voice
"He... broke up with me. He broke up with me through a fucking postcard" Summer whispered in a broken voice
Ryan's heart immediately calmed as an unbidden smile flitted across his face, realizing that Seth wasn't dead. An asshole perhaps, but not dead. He was immediately brought back down to Earth by the continuing sobs on the other end of the line. "Can you come over" Summer asked in a pleading tone
"Yeah, sure" Ryan said, "Give me ten minutes, k?"
"Thanks' Summer whispered before hanging up
Ryan quickly pulled on his clothes. Just as he was reaching down to pick up his shirt, Kirsten came out of the bathroom, wearing only a towel wrapped around her body and a towel wrapped around her hair. Despite himself, Ryan straightened up and looked at her with a sense of awe. A slow smile played across his lips as he sized her up. Kirsten shifted her feet slightly, feeling a bit like a pre-pubescent schoolgirl under Ryan's penetrating gaze. Her cheeks flushed. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"It's just. ... You're so beautiful when you're, y'know, natural"
Kirsten quirked an eyebrow "Are you implying that I'm not natural sometimes?"
"No I mean" Ryan flushed "I'm not good with compliments-"
"You don't say" Kirsten said in a teasing voice
Ryan shot her his patented sideways look "I mean there's some girls who have to put on like a pound of makeup before they look hot. You don't. You're beautiful when you get up in the morning"
Kirsten said a light voice "You're right. You aren't good at compliments. But I guess that one was about the best I can expect for"
Ryan rolled his eyes. "I'm glad, you find my attempts at complimenting you so under-whelming. Thanks"
Kirsten grinned and walked closer to him. She gently placed a kiss upon his mouth "You're welcome "she said
Ryan pulled on his shirt and picked up his phone "I have to go meet Summer. She's having some kind of meltdown. I'll be back later." He gave Kirsten a sizzling kiss that sent fingers of fire travelling throughout her body
"Bye" she croaked out, regaining her breath
She sat down on the edge of the bed, a grin playing on her lips. Every part of her body felt alive, charged with electricity. Ryan had that ability to do that to her. Suddenly she noticed the wedding ring on her pinkie finger. Her mind immediately flashed back unbidden to the night that Sandy had proposed to her. The early years of their marriage when everything was new, pure, exciting. "My God" she breathed as the true enormity of her relationship with Ryan struck her. What have I done she thought bleakly.
Ryan arrived at Summer's towering mansion a few minutes later. Before he even ran the doorbell, she threw the door open "Took you long enough" Summer grumbled, disappearing down the hall. "Nice to see you too Summer" Ryan mumbled under his breath. He dutifully followed her to the kitchen. Summer leaned on the edge of the counter, staring at him, angrily chewing at a carrot
Ryan shifted his feet uncomfortably under Summer's glare "So..... What's up Doc?" he asked in a light voice Oh my god did I actually just say that? Ryan wondered in disbelief. Summer notched up the intensity of her glare a few degrees. She slowly shook her head. Then suddenly, she threw the carrot at him. Ryan ducked instinctively as the carrot thwacked into the wall behind him
"WHAT'S UP DOC? Your fucking assface brother dumps me through a fucking postcard and all you have to say is WHAT'S UP DOC? What are you, mentally retarded?" Summer screamed. As Summer spat out each word she stepped closer to Ryan pushing and hitting him. "Ow! Jesus Christ Summer, I was trying to lighten the mood. You know break the ice"
"You were trying to break the ice. How would you like it if I broke your fucking face dickweed?"
"Jesus fucking Christ Summer" Ryan yelled, hunching his shoulders to avoid her blows
"Seth wasn't kidding about your rage blackouts"
All of a sudden, as quickly as her face had gone black with rage, Summer collapsed on the kitchen floor sobbing.
Ryan, his head hunched down in between his shoulders like a turtle, poked his head up cautiously "Summer?" he asked
"What does it take for a girl to get a fucking hug around here" Summer asked in between her sobs
"That depends. Are you going to go all psycho on me again" Ryan asked warily Summer shook her head. Warily Ryan sat down beside her and wrapped his arms around her. After a few minutes of lying in silence, Summer thrust her arm out. Ryan reflexively ducked. Summer shook her head in disgust as her hands scrabbled on the counter searching for something. Finally she came down with the offending postcard. "Here" she said, thrusting the postcard into Ryan's hard.
"Aloha!!!" the postcard said cheerfully on the front. Ryan flipped it around
Dear Summer. First of all, let me totally admit that writing a postcard for this type of thing is totally tacky and cheap. You deserve better. Which is why when I get back I'm going to write you a nice long letter. Not that I'm not man enough to talk to you in person, but let's face it, you're probably going to kill me. Literally. Which would be fair punishment for what I'm doing, but wouldn't benefit either of us. I can't exactly see you in a prison jumpsuit. Anyways I'm rambling. As per usual. So let me come out and say it. I'm breaking up with you. Believe me or not, that was the hardest sentence I ever had to write. This is totally me. You are still the amazing, incredible girl I fell in love with and you totally deserve better than me. I didn't realize how fucked up I was until I got out here. I can't be in a relationship right now Summer. With Ryan in Chino, I feel that this entire last year has been a dream. And when we get back to school next year it'll be the same as before Ryan came. With me as the punching bag for the water polo team. . And I can deal with that myself, but I don't want to drag you into my issues. I don't want to be Marissa; using the ones I love as a crutch for me to work out my own issues. So as I said, this is incredibly hard for me to write, and I realize I owe you a much more in depth explanation, but I need to figure some things out on my own. Not that I'm not already on my own, but you know what I mean. Actually you probably don't, but you will.
Love for always Seth PS Take care of Princess Sparkle for me
Ryan let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding.
"Wow" he muttered He glanced over at Summer who staring resolutely ahead, with only a single tear trickling down her cheek.
"Well?" she asked in a brittle voice "What's your verdict? Is he fucking someone else? Some Hawaiian skank?"
"Ah, I don't think so" Ryan said a careful voice "Maybe he just needs some time to y'know, figure things out."
'He's had 6 fucking weeks. By himself. On a piece of shit boat, which incidentally he named after me. On the fucking ocean. He's like Tom Hanks in that movie Cast Away. The only person he has to talk to is a volleyball named Wilson. How much more fucking time does he need?"
For the first time, Ryan wondered for a minute whether Summer was altogether stable. "Um Summer, that was just a movie. I'm sure Seth isn't exactly talking to a volleyball. Especially if he actually is dating some Hawaiian girl. Which incidentally I don't think he is. I mean I sometimes wonder how Seth got you. I highly doubt he's been able to land another chick. Although anything is possible this summer." Ryan realized he was rambling and quickly shut up. He instead resorted to his primary method of comfort. He quickly pulled Summer into his arms.
Summer relaxed against him. "You know you're starting to sound a lot like Cohen. It's freaky as hell. I think I liked you better when you were all silent and broody."
"I liked myself better then too" Ryan said honestly
"He was the only guy I ever cared about... He was the only guy who ever cared about me" Summer choked out between renewed sobs
"I know I know" Ryan said soothingly. "But you're wrong."
Summer looked at questioningly.
"He's not the only guy who cars about you"
Summer smiled at him gratefully
They sat there, on the kitchen floor for a few more minutes silently
"You know Ryan. I think this is what they call sharing a moment" Summer said, a smile on her lips
"Yeah" Ryan mumbled He yawned sleepily "Sharing a moment"
"You know, if you want to go to sleep you can just go to your pool house. Summer said pointedly.
"Sorry" Ryan apologized. "What do you want to do? I'm at your service."
"Well in the past, whenever I was dumped by an asshole, which apparently I just was, I went on a shopping spree" Summer said brightly
Ryan's shoulders sagged "Shopping??" He asked in a forlorn voice. He took a deep breath saying a quick prayer for strength. "All right I guess. Only for a little while though, I have ah .. things to do"
"Great" Summer exclaimed. "I'll be right back. Hey, maybe we can get you a new wardrobe. Ghetto style is so last week." She bounded down the stairs.
What doesn't kill me will make me stronger Ryan thought, repeating it in his head like a mantra
Exhausted Ryan stumbled home after a gruelling six-hour shopping marathon with Summer. His feet were tired, his stomach hurt from the cardboard nachos and cheese he ate in the food court and he thought he looked ridiculous in his new wardrobe. Not to mention his feet were crammed into shoes that were at least two sizes too small for him, but were apparently the coolest shoes to hit Newport in, like, forever. According to Summer anyway. Personally Ryan thought the shoes made him look like a fag.
He had just managed to drag himself to the counter to pour himself a glass of juice when the doorbell rang. "I got it!" Kirsten yelled as she opened the door. "Oh! Luke! What a surprise" Ryan's head snapped around and he quickly got from his chair.
"Luke?" he asked in an incredulous voice
"Hey man" Luke said with a huge grin splitting his face "What's up?" Quickly he pulled a bemused Ryan into a giant bear hug
"What are you doing here?" Ryan asked
"Came down for a little while to visit my mom. Figured I'd stop in and see how you were doing" Luke explained
"Sure. Come on in" Ryan said heading into the kitchen as Luke followed him
"Where's Cohen? I missed that little creep," Luke asked lightly
"Ahhh... He's in Hawaii. Long story. I'll tell you later" Ryan said quickly
"It sounds like the drama didn't end when I left" Luke said in a pleased voice
"You don't know the half of it" Ryan mumbled under his breath
Kirsten sat across the counter. "So, Luke how's your dad?" she asked in an overly polite voice. It was clear that she still felt uncomfortable around him.
"He's okay. Actually living with him is a lot better then I'd thought" Luke said honestly.
"That's great Luke, it really is" Kirsten said a warm voice
Ryan had been staring at Kirsten's finger. The finger that was supposed to contain her wedding ring. The finger that was now empty. Ryan had actually done a good job of forgetting Kirsten for the past few hours, his mind having been lulled in a stupor by the monotony of shopping with Summer. Suddenly the absence of Kirsten's wedding ring left him breathless. The weight of all that he had done, that they had done over the past couple of weeks left Ryan gasping for breath as if he were underwater.
"You're not wearing your wedding ring" he blurted out, shocking Kirsten. Kirsten's mouth moved soundlessly for a few moments before she croaked out "I.. I must have forgotten it upstairs" She looked as if she were going to say more, but as her glance skidded over to a perplexed Luke, she thought better of it "If you boys need me, I'll be upstairs" she said abruptly. The sound of her walking down the hall was the only audible noise for several moments. Ryan, his face flushed and his hands unsteady raised his glass to his lips
"Holy shit" Luke said in a voice that was a mixture of awe, amusement and horror "You're fucking her aren't you"
Ryan reflexively spat out his drink "Excuse me?" he managed
"Oh please" Luke said in an amused voice. "This is me. I'm Newport's expert at September-May romances. You are so totally fucking her"
"I have no clue what you're talking about" Ryan said stubbornly. At Luke's sceptical look he finally relented "Yeah I am "
"Ha ha" Luke crowed, "I knew it! You guys had these intense sexual vibes going on."
"I'm not exactly proud of this" Ryan said in a quiet voice
Luke immediately sobered. "So how long?"
"'Bout two weeks" Ryan said
Luke's eyebrows shot up "Damn" he sat back thinking. Then he grinned and leaned forward. "I'm telling you man, older women? Definitely the way to go. If you can get past the twisted and slightly incestuous part that is. I remember Julie used to do this thing with her tongue..."
"Luke!! Overshare, overshare" Ryan said in a desperate voice, putting his hands over his ears.
"All right, all right" Luke admitted. "Not exactly a laughing matter. Seth's gonna kill you. Not to mention Sandy. Look on the bright side though, I won't be the only mother-fucker in Chino anymore" Luke's serious face remained in place for a moment before he collapsed in laughter. Ryan glared at him "You know if you're going to be Asshole Luke of the Newport water polo team you can leave right now"
"Sorry sorry" Luke said a apologetic tone "No more. But seriously dude.. when I was fucking Julie.." Ryan started to cut him off, but Luke forged ahead "No listen, when I was fucking Julie, whenever the guilt and the fucked-upness of it hit me, I would just try and put a humorous spin on it. Not exactly hard, considering I was fucking Julie Cooper after all. I knew it was horrible, but it helped me stay sane" Ryan nodded in acknowledgement. "So, you want to grab a few beers, talk about it?" Luke asked "I don't know about actually talking about it, but I could definitely grab a few beers" Ryan said "I just spent a day shopping with Summer."
"Wait a minute" Luke said in a bewildered voice "If Cohen's in Hawaii, then why is Summer back here? Did they break up or something? And since when are you Summer's shopping bitch?'
As they strolled out the door Ryan said "I told you a lot has changed"
The next morning Ryan walked to the house, blinking away the last vestiges of his hangover from the night before. As he opened the door he was surprised to see Kirsten at the table with a plate of eggs set up in his place. "What time did you get in last night?" Kirsten asked, trying to ignore the frission of heat that coursed through her whenever she saw Ryan in that damn wife-beater "About 12" Ryan mumbled as he sat down and picked up his fork. "Where's Sandy?" Kirsten tried to banish the regret and sadness from her voice as she responded "He went into work early" Ryan chewed his eggs. All of a sudden a strange look came over his face. He gagged once, stuck his finger in his mouth, gagged again and withdrew a piece of eggshell from his mouth. He stared at it for a moment and then with mounting suspicion, dug through his plate of eggs. He wasn't surprised when he unearthed several more fragments of egg. Slowly he raised his eyes to look at Kirsten "Did you cook this" Kirsten fixed her eyes on the table, a blush spreading up her cheeks. "Kirsten?" Ryan prompted "Yes" Kirsten whispered. Ryan shook his head in amusement. "Alright. Get up." Kirsten looked at him inquiringly. "You need to learn how to make a decent eggshell-free plate of eggs" He got up and moved to the counter. He beckoned to Kirsten. Fighting down a grin Kirsten moved to stand beside him.
"No smiling" Ryan said in a stern voice. "I could have choked and died on this eggshell." He pulled out a saucepan and poured some cooking oil onto it. "Now pay attention. Cooking oil is used to lubricate the pan so the food doesn't stick to the bottom. Usually we use Canola oil, but occasionally you can use vegetable oil to spice things up" Kirsten snorted, fighting down a giggle
Ryan gave her a sideways look
"Right right no laughing. Not a laughing matter" Kirsten said quickly. Ryan smothered down his own laughter and pulled six eggs out of the fridge
"Now this is important. When we crack the eggs into the pan, we do not let any eggshells into the pan' Kirsten nodded seriously
"Repeat it" Ryan prompted
"No eggshells in the pan" Kirsten repeated dutifully "Good. Now you usually want to use something to spice the eggs up. I like to use a little pepper, but you can use anything. I knew a girl once who put brown sugar into her eggs. Was very good. Now after you make sure you dispose of the eggshells, you have to watch the eggs very carefully to make sure they don't burn. I also usually add a little milk as well. Kirsten are you listening?" Ryan asked in a mock-annoyed voice
Kirsten was staring at him.
"Yes?"
"You look so sexy when you're cooking." Kirsten whispered to him before passionately kissing him. Ryan was able to reach over and shut off the stove before returning the sizzling kiss. "We have to stop" she mumbled against his cheek "I know" Ryan whispered "But I don't think I can"
"Me neither. And that scares the shit out of me." Kirsten's guilt and shame vanished when Ryan latched his lips onto her neck "Oh god" she moaned. Ryan hoisted her onto the counter as she wrapped her legs around his waist. She gently pulled off his shirt in between running her hands all over him. As Kirsten closed her eyes, her thoughts began to fade in a haze of lust and wanting. She surrendered herself to the feel of Ryan touching her, teasing her.
Ryan woke up to the insistent buzzing of his cell phone. Dazedly he lifted his head and glanced around blearily for the phone. He spotted the faint outline of it in his jeans. He felt around, determined to reach his jeans without moving from his current position. After some struggling, he succeeded, lifting the cell phone to his ear.
"Hello?" he croaked, noting the empty space beside him and the sound of the shower running.
"Chino?" Through his early-morning daze, Ryan could make out Summer's distraught voice. She sounded on the brink of tears. Ryan shook his head forcefully and sat up. "Summer? What's wrong?"
"It's Seth.." Summer whispered before breaking down into sobs. Ryan's stomach immediately took a sickening swoop. He imagined a thousand horrible possibilities, his throat drying up.
"What about Seth?" Silence reigned on the other end, punctuated only by quiet sobs "Summer?" he asked, a note of desperation creeping in his voice
"He... broke up with me. He broke up with me through a fucking postcard" Summer whispered in a broken voice
Ryan's heart immediately calmed as an unbidden smile flitted across his face, realizing that Seth wasn't dead. An asshole perhaps, but not dead. He was immediately brought back down to Earth by the continuing sobs on the other end of the line. "Can you come over" Summer asked in a pleading tone
"Yeah, sure" Ryan said, "Give me ten minutes, k?"
"Thanks' Summer whispered before hanging up
Ryan quickly pulled on his clothes. Just as he was reaching down to pick up his shirt, Kirsten came out of the bathroom, wearing only a towel wrapped around her body and a towel wrapped around her hair. Despite himself, Ryan straightened up and looked at her with a sense of awe. A slow smile played across his lips as he sized her up. Kirsten shifted her feet slightly, feeling a bit like a pre-pubescent schoolgirl under Ryan's penetrating gaze. Her cheeks flushed. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"It's just. ... You're so beautiful when you're, y'know, natural"
Kirsten quirked an eyebrow "Are you implying that I'm not natural sometimes?"
"No I mean" Ryan flushed "I'm not good with compliments-"
"You don't say" Kirsten said in a teasing voice
Ryan shot her his patented sideways look "I mean there's some girls who have to put on like a pound of makeup before they look hot. You don't. You're beautiful when you get up in the morning"
Kirsten said a light voice "You're right. You aren't good at compliments. But I guess that one was about the best I can expect for"
Ryan rolled his eyes. "I'm glad, you find my attempts at complimenting you so under-whelming. Thanks"
Kirsten grinned and walked closer to him. She gently placed a kiss upon his mouth "You're welcome "she said
Ryan pulled on his shirt and picked up his phone "I have to go meet Summer. She's having some kind of meltdown. I'll be back later." He gave Kirsten a sizzling kiss that sent fingers of fire travelling throughout her body
"Bye" she croaked out, regaining her breath
She sat down on the edge of the bed, a grin playing on her lips. Every part of her body felt alive, charged with electricity. Ryan had that ability to do that to her. Suddenly she noticed the wedding ring on her pinkie finger. Her mind immediately flashed back unbidden to the night that Sandy had proposed to her. The early years of their marriage when everything was new, pure, exciting. "My God" she breathed as the true enormity of her relationship with Ryan struck her. What have I done she thought bleakly.
Ryan arrived at Summer's towering mansion a few minutes later. Before he even ran the doorbell, she threw the door open "Took you long enough" Summer grumbled, disappearing down the hall. "Nice to see you too Summer" Ryan mumbled under his breath. He dutifully followed her to the kitchen. Summer leaned on the edge of the counter, staring at him, angrily chewing at a carrot
Ryan shifted his feet uncomfortably under Summer's glare "So..... What's up Doc?" he asked in a light voice Oh my god did I actually just say that? Ryan wondered in disbelief. Summer notched up the intensity of her glare a few degrees. She slowly shook her head. Then suddenly, she threw the carrot at him. Ryan ducked instinctively as the carrot thwacked into the wall behind him
"WHAT'S UP DOC? Your fucking assface brother dumps me through a fucking postcard and all you have to say is WHAT'S UP DOC? What are you, mentally retarded?" Summer screamed. As Summer spat out each word she stepped closer to Ryan pushing and hitting him. "Ow! Jesus Christ Summer, I was trying to lighten the mood. You know break the ice"
"You were trying to break the ice. How would you like it if I broke your fucking face dickweed?"
"Jesus fucking Christ Summer" Ryan yelled, hunching his shoulders to avoid her blows
"Seth wasn't kidding about your rage blackouts"
All of a sudden, as quickly as her face had gone black with rage, Summer collapsed on the kitchen floor sobbing.
Ryan, his head hunched down in between his shoulders like a turtle, poked his head up cautiously "Summer?" he asked
"What does it take for a girl to get a fucking hug around here" Summer asked in between her sobs
"That depends. Are you going to go all psycho on me again" Ryan asked warily Summer shook her head. Warily Ryan sat down beside her and wrapped his arms around her. After a few minutes of lying in silence, Summer thrust her arm out. Ryan reflexively ducked. Summer shook her head in disgust as her hands scrabbled on the counter searching for something. Finally she came down with the offending postcard. "Here" she said, thrusting the postcard into Ryan's hard.
"Aloha!!!" the postcard said cheerfully on the front. Ryan flipped it around
Dear Summer. First of all, let me totally admit that writing a postcard for this type of thing is totally tacky and cheap. You deserve better. Which is why when I get back I'm going to write you a nice long letter. Not that I'm not man enough to talk to you in person, but let's face it, you're probably going to kill me. Literally. Which would be fair punishment for what I'm doing, but wouldn't benefit either of us. I can't exactly see you in a prison jumpsuit. Anyways I'm rambling. As per usual. So let me come out and say it. I'm breaking up with you. Believe me or not, that was the hardest sentence I ever had to write. This is totally me. You are still the amazing, incredible girl I fell in love with and you totally deserve better than me. I didn't realize how fucked up I was until I got out here. I can't be in a relationship right now Summer. With Ryan in Chino, I feel that this entire last year has been a dream. And when we get back to school next year it'll be the same as before Ryan came. With me as the punching bag for the water polo team. . And I can deal with that myself, but I don't want to drag you into my issues. I don't want to be Marissa; using the ones I love as a crutch for me to work out my own issues. So as I said, this is incredibly hard for me to write, and I realize I owe you a much more in depth explanation, but I need to figure some things out on my own. Not that I'm not already on my own, but you know what I mean. Actually you probably don't, but you will.
Love for always Seth PS Take care of Princess Sparkle for me
Ryan let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding.
"Wow" he muttered He glanced over at Summer who staring resolutely ahead, with only a single tear trickling down her cheek.
"Well?" she asked in a brittle voice "What's your verdict? Is he fucking someone else? Some Hawaiian skank?"
"Ah, I don't think so" Ryan said a careful voice "Maybe he just needs some time to y'know, figure things out."
'He's had 6 fucking weeks. By himself. On a piece of shit boat, which incidentally he named after me. On the fucking ocean. He's like Tom Hanks in that movie Cast Away. The only person he has to talk to is a volleyball named Wilson. How much more fucking time does he need?"
For the first time, Ryan wondered for a minute whether Summer was altogether stable. "Um Summer, that was just a movie. I'm sure Seth isn't exactly talking to a volleyball. Especially if he actually is dating some Hawaiian girl. Which incidentally I don't think he is. I mean I sometimes wonder how Seth got you. I highly doubt he's been able to land another chick. Although anything is possible this summer." Ryan realized he was rambling and quickly shut up. He instead resorted to his primary method of comfort. He quickly pulled Summer into his arms.
Summer relaxed against him. "You know you're starting to sound a lot like Cohen. It's freaky as hell. I think I liked you better when you were all silent and broody."
"I liked myself better then too" Ryan said honestly
"He was the only guy I ever cared about... He was the only guy who ever cared about me" Summer choked out between renewed sobs
"I know I know" Ryan said soothingly. "But you're wrong."
Summer looked at questioningly.
"He's not the only guy who cars about you"
Summer smiled at him gratefully
They sat there, on the kitchen floor for a few more minutes silently
"You know Ryan. I think this is what they call sharing a moment" Summer said, a smile on her lips
"Yeah" Ryan mumbled He yawned sleepily "Sharing a moment"
"You know, if you want to go to sleep you can just go to your pool house. Summer said pointedly.
"Sorry" Ryan apologized. "What do you want to do? I'm at your service."
"Well in the past, whenever I was dumped by an asshole, which apparently I just was, I went on a shopping spree" Summer said brightly
Ryan's shoulders sagged "Shopping??" He asked in a forlorn voice. He took a deep breath saying a quick prayer for strength. "All right I guess. Only for a little while though, I have ah .. things to do"
"Great" Summer exclaimed. "I'll be right back. Hey, maybe we can get you a new wardrobe. Ghetto style is so last week." She bounded down the stairs.
What doesn't kill me will make me stronger Ryan thought, repeating it in his head like a mantra
Exhausted Ryan stumbled home after a gruelling six-hour shopping marathon with Summer. His feet were tired, his stomach hurt from the cardboard nachos and cheese he ate in the food court and he thought he looked ridiculous in his new wardrobe. Not to mention his feet were crammed into shoes that were at least two sizes too small for him, but were apparently the coolest shoes to hit Newport in, like, forever. According to Summer anyway. Personally Ryan thought the shoes made him look like a fag.
He had just managed to drag himself to the counter to pour himself a glass of juice when the doorbell rang. "I got it!" Kirsten yelled as she opened the door. "Oh! Luke! What a surprise" Ryan's head snapped around and he quickly got from his chair.
"Luke?" he asked in an incredulous voice
"Hey man" Luke said with a huge grin splitting his face "What's up?" Quickly he pulled a bemused Ryan into a giant bear hug
"What are you doing here?" Ryan asked
"Came down for a little while to visit my mom. Figured I'd stop in and see how you were doing" Luke explained
"Sure. Come on in" Ryan said heading into the kitchen as Luke followed him
"Where's Cohen? I missed that little creep," Luke asked lightly
"Ahhh... He's in Hawaii. Long story. I'll tell you later" Ryan said quickly
"It sounds like the drama didn't end when I left" Luke said in a pleased voice
"You don't know the half of it" Ryan mumbled under his breath
Kirsten sat across the counter. "So, Luke how's your dad?" she asked in an overly polite voice. It was clear that she still felt uncomfortable around him.
"He's okay. Actually living with him is a lot better then I'd thought" Luke said honestly.
"That's great Luke, it really is" Kirsten said a warm voice
Ryan had been staring at Kirsten's finger. The finger that was supposed to contain her wedding ring. The finger that was now empty. Ryan had actually done a good job of forgetting Kirsten for the past few hours, his mind having been lulled in a stupor by the monotony of shopping with Summer. Suddenly the absence of Kirsten's wedding ring left him breathless. The weight of all that he had done, that they had done over the past couple of weeks left Ryan gasping for breath as if he were underwater.
"You're not wearing your wedding ring" he blurted out, shocking Kirsten. Kirsten's mouth moved soundlessly for a few moments before she croaked out "I.. I must have forgotten it upstairs" She looked as if she were going to say more, but as her glance skidded over to a perplexed Luke, she thought better of it "If you boys need me, I'll be upstairs" she said abruptly. The sound of her walking down the hall was the only audible noise for several moments. Ryan, his face flushed and his hands unsteady raised his glass to his lips
"Holy shit" Luke said in a voice that was a mixture of awe, amusement and horror "You're fucking her aren't you"
Ryan reflexively spat out his drink "Excuse me?" he managed
"Oh please" Luke said in an amused voice. "This is me. I'm Newport's expert at September-May romances. You are so totally fucking her"
"I have no clue what you're talking about" Ryan said stubbornly. At Luke's sceptical look he finally relented "Yeah I am "
"Ha ha" Luke crowed, "I knew it! You guys had these intense sexual vibes going on."
"I'm not exactly proud of this" Ryan said in a quiet voice
Luke immediately sobered. "So how long?"
"'Bout two weeks" Ryan said
Luke's eyebrows shot up "Damn" he sat back thinking. Then he grinned and leaned forward. "I'm telling you man, older women? Definitely the way to go. If you can get past the twisted and slightly incestuous part that is. I remember Julie used to do this thing with her tongue..."
"Luke!! Overshare, overshare" Ryan said in a desperate voice, putting his hands over his ears.
"All right, all right" Luke admitted. "Not exactly a laughing matter. Seth's gonna kill you. Not to mention Sandy. Look on the bright side though, I won't be the only mother-fucker in Chino anymore" Luke's serious face remained in place for a moment before he collapsed in laughter. Ryan glared at him "You know if you're going to be Asshole Luke of the Newport water polo team you can leave right now"
"Sorry sorry" Luke said a apologetic tone "No more. But seriously dude.. when I was fucking Julie.." Ryan started to cut him off, but Luke forged ahead "No listen, when I was fucking Julie, whenever the guilt and the fucked-upness of it hit me, I would just try and put a humorous spin on it. Not exactly hard, considering I was fucking Julie Cooper after all. I knew it was horrible, but it helped me stay sane" Ryan nodded in acknowledgement. "So, you want to grab a few beers, talk about it?" Luke asked "I don't know about actually talking about it, but I could definitely grab a few beers" Ryan said "I just spent a day shopping with Summer."
"Wait a minute" Luke said in a bewildered voice "If Cohen's in Hawaii, then why is Summer back here? Did they break up or something? And since when are you Summer's shopping bitch?'
As they strolled out the door Ryan said "I told you a lot has changed"
The next morning Ryan walked to the house, blinking away the last vestiges of his hangover from the night before. As he opened the door he was surprised to see Kirsten at the table with a plate of eggs set up in his place. "What time did you get in last night?" Kirsten asked, trying to ignore the frission of heat that coursed through her whenever she saw Ryan in that damn wife-beater "About 12" Ryan mumbled as he sat down and picked up his fork. "Where's Sandy?" Kirsten tried to banish the regret and sadness from her voice as she responded "He went into work early" Ryan chewed his eggs. All of a sudden a strange look came over his face. He gagged once, stuck his finger in his mouth, gagged again and withdrew a piece of eggshell from his mouth. He stared at it for a moment and then with mounting suspicion, dug through his plate of eggs. He wasn't surprised when he unearthed several more fragments of egg. Slowly he raised his eyes to look at Kirsten "Did you cook this" Kirsten fixed her eyes on the table, a blush spreading up her cheeks. "Kirsten?" Ryan prompted "Yes" Kirsten whispered. Ryan shook his head in amusement. "Alright. Get up." Kirsten looked at him inquiringly. "You need to learn how to make a decent eggshell-free plate of eggs" He got up and moved to the counter. He beckoned to Kirsten. Fighting down a grin Kirsten moved to stand beside him.
"No smiling" Ryan said in a stern voice. "I could have choked and died on this eggshell." He pulled out a saucepan and poured some cooking oil onto it. "Now pay attention. Cooking oil is used to lubricate the pan so the food doesn't stick to the bottom. Usually we use Canola oil, but occasionally you can use vegetable oil to spice things up" Kirsten snorted, fighting down a giggle
Ryan gave her a sideways look
"Right right no laughing. Not a laughing matter" Kirsten said quickly. Ryan smothered down his own laughter and pulled six eggs out of the fridge
"Now this is important. When we crack the eggs into the pan, we do not let any eggshells into the pan' Kirsten nodded seriously
"Repeat it" Ryan prompted
"No eggshells in the pan" Kirsten repeated dutifully "Good. Now you usually want to use something to spice the eggs up. I like to use a little pepper, but you can use anything. I knew a girl once who put brown sugar into her eggs. Was very good. Now after you make sure you dispose of the eggshells, you have to watch the eggs very carefully to make sure they don't burn. I also usually add a little milk as well. Kirsten are you listening?" Ryan asked in a mock-annoyed voice
Kirsten was staring at him.
"Yes?"
"You look so sexy when you're cooking." Kirsten whispered to him before passionately kissing him. Ryan was able to reach over and shut off the stove before returning the sizzling kiss. "We have to stop" she mumbled against his cheek "I know" Ryan whispered "But I don't think I can"
"Me neither. And that scares the shit out of me." Kirsten's guilt and shame vanished when Ryan latched his lips onto her neck "Oh god" she moaned. Ryan hoisted her onto the counter as she wrapped her legs around his waist. She gently pulled off his shirt in between running her hands all over him. As Kirsten closed her eyes, her thoughts began to fade in a haze of lust and wanting. She surrendered herself to the feel of Ryan touching her, teasing her.