CRAZY LUNATIC EXPERIMENTS
Summary: Hermione's aunt has been called to Hogwarts as she needs lots of children to be her 'guinea pigs' and of course, only Dumbledore is nice enough to let someone experiment with his students . . .
NARRATED BY MOI!
'=Thoughts "=speech
NO SPOILERS.
Thanks a lot to these people, and remember, YOU MUST READ THE THANKS!! Or next chapter shall come slower:
~ Natyslacks ~ Thanks! And it was nice talking to you the other day, anyways, I'm definitely trying to get the jealousy in (as you shall soon see, or, read). Thanks again for reviewing!
~ Cereza ~ LOL, God your review is so funny! Thanks a bunch of bananas (or, if you prefer, cheese) for reviewing this fic! You were so right in what you said for the review, and I think Bob would look abs fabs in that sailor suit!! WOW!!!!!!!! Lol, thanks again! I hope you like this chapter!!!
~ Milocachica ~ Yes, Drako is supposed to sound more hot than Draco! The reason why is cus' this fic is mostly from Hermi's point of view, so if I make it to sound like Drako is fitter than Draco, than obviously, Draco would get more jealous (hehe), lol, thanks for the review, I hope you update your fic soon!
~ Some12 ~ Lol, thanks, and a Gary-Stu is the male equivalent to a Mary- sue. And if you don't know what Mary-sue is (I didn't until last month . . .), then it's a mad-up character (which the author owns itself) and its like, perfect in every way and everyone fancies it (you know, whether they're gay, lesbian, straight . . .). So, I hope that made it clearer! Tata for now!
~ Cleopatra ~ Hehe, nothing can ever be too long! Or too short (just hinting in case you think this chapter is short . . .), thanks for reviewing, and you're from Germany? Cool O.O Sorry, I don't normally socialise with anyone outside of my country . . . lol, thanks again! Here's the update!
~ Burgundyred ~ Yeah, I see what you mean by the 'k' is annoying . . . but I can't spell it with anything else, sozzy. I'm glad you think the last chappie was 'cute', lol, I didn't exactly understand it, but then again, I'm kind of . . . slow **raises eyebrow** Lol, thanks again, and no need to thank me for reviewing, you're fics are awesome! MUST UPDATE THEM SOON . . . (no pressure or anything . . .)
~ Ding ~ Hey Ding, well, I'm updating, so you should too! Heh . . . I didn't really understand what you meant by saying that Drako sounded like Draco (well, it is supposed to be read the same way as Draco) except . . . bigger . . . no I didn't understand that at all. Thanks for reviewing by the way! Much appreciated.
~ Tears-That-Fall ~ Well . . . as long as you actually get your homework done, I'm fine with you getting distracted from doing it immediately . . . lol, I do that all the time! Anyways, thanks for the review!!!
~ IceCristal ~ Yay! It wasn't confusing! For once! Lol, yeah, everyone was like, oh dear, two Draco's not a good thing for Hermi, but now, everyone is jealous of her! EVEN ME!! How unfair, and no, sorry, I don't know where to buy a Draco . . . try the local super market . . .
~ Draco is mine3 ~ Thanks, here's the update, really hope you like, and also hope you review as well! Lol
~ Eventuality ~ Yeah, I know he was over the top, but I guess that was the point! Lol, I think you knew that as well, but nevermind, lol, anyways, thanks a lot for reviewing! Hugz!
~ Midnight Solitaire ~ Aw, thanks a lot! That's really soooo nice of you to say so!!! I hope you like this chapter . . . I'm just thinking that a lot of people might protest to it . . . I'm afraid that this fic will have to end soon (please read ending author's note). Oh well, all good (and bad) things have to end!! (Sob)
~ Gina ~ Gah, I know, fanfiction gets really annoying sometimes, I mean . . . I don't know what I mean, it just is annoying! Lol, anyway, thanks a bundle for not dropping this fic! The romance is definitely here for once, so read on and find out! Lol!
~ Anonymous ~ No, thank YOU, for reviewing, saying what you did, and spending your precious time on this fic! THANK YOU SO MUCH! Lol, I hope you like this chapter . . . I have a feeling some people might not . . . don't ask why, just a 'feeling'.
~ Pyroprincess4rmeverwood ~ Lol, okay, okay, I will try to get the romance in, the whole point of Drako hitting on Hermione is so that DRACO gets a chance to show what he thinks, took me forever to even understand what I was doing . . . and I am me!! Lol, if that made any sense at all, thanks for reviewing anyways!
~ Klee_babe ~ Howdy mate! I like Draco jealous and evil (although he's always evil anyways) too! I mean, who doesn't? Lol, thanks for reviewing, here's the update, please enjoy!
~ Legessa ~ Aw, thanks so much!! For spending time to read, and review!! Now all I'm scared of is that I'll disappoint everyone . . . Gah, the troubles of a teenage writer . . . lol, I'm such a worrywart, and I panic WAY too much, nevermind eh? As long as I get the chapters out . . .
~ NewSecretRose ~ Lol, I'm glad you liked it!!! Lol, sorry, mental image of you running around and shouting random things . . . hmm, the wonders of a brain . . . and LMAO, I was rolling on the floor laughing when I read your second review, I mean, I could just see it now . . . lol, and you know something? I've never seen Dora the Explorer . . .
~UntitledN'stayinthatway ~ Thanks for reviewing! And don't worry about it, I get so easily distracted, it took me forever just to remember to post the chapter for god's sake . . . or maybe that's just laziness?
~ Paprika90 ~ Lol, every review you send means a lot to me!!! Even if you said something really horrible (personally, I think those people need a life), thanks for reminding me about the break! I'm still thinking about it, I mean, if I did take a break, I won't exactly tell anyone when I'll be back, cus' even I don't know, and I would just spend my time finishing this fic anyways!
~ Christina ~ Thanks! A select few of people that are reviewing are telling me to get the romance on, which, I guess I should, seeing as this fic is about nineteen chapters long, and the romance has JUST come in, strange huh? And yeah, I hate those fics as well, I mean, its like they're doing it as love at first site, but they've seen each other for years and that hasn't happened! I just don't get it . . . anyway, thanks again for reviewing!
~ Gizelle ~ Lol, yeah, I know its very odd, and I know its very confusing, loads of people have been saying that for . . . well, forever really. And yeah, Draco's father is dead, I meant when he said that he wanted to owl his father, if his father was still alive, he would. That would be the reason why he didn't owl his father. Anyways, thanks for the review! I hope you understand this chapter more!
~ Aku-neko ~ Hey, thanks for the review, and yeah, that line was the best! THE BEST! Well, if you say so that is, lol. You can have Drako if you want . . . but alas, by the end of this chapter, you might have a different opinion . . .
~ Fluff ~ Aw thanks, someone else said the last chappie was cute, I mean, was it really cute? Or is it just cus' people need a word to say. Drako isn't a man-whore . . . exactly * raises eyebrow * Lol, anyway, thanks again for the review, you rock!
~ Smileyface1314 ~ YAY! REVIEW! But I have a question, what's a post- script? I know, so I sound kind of dumb, nevermind, only natural, lol. Thanks for reviewing this and gems! HUGZ
~ Callie ~ Thank you so much for reviewing!! Here's the update, I am praying that you will enjoy it, please review after you've read it so I know what you think!!!
~ Enchanted Phyre ~ Lol, wow, lots of the word update! Lol, anyway, thanks for reviewing, and for saying what you liked (some people just say thanks and that was it) I really hope you like this chappie, but you'll never know until you read it!
~ Spaced Out Space Cadet ~ Hehe, thanks so much, and you know something? I like you, lol, random, I know, and it is nice to know you know that I don't take you, or anyone else, for granted! Lol, but honestly, I say it in case some daft idiot, DOESN'T know that, thanks again anyways, and I hope you enjoy this chappie!
~ Mariah ~ Thank you so much for your review, and what you said, and also, yes, sorry about the confusion, what can I say? I'm a very confusing person, so naturally, what I write would be confusing . . . if only this was a film, now THAT would rock. . . .
~ Tinuviel Storm ~ Hmm . . . about Lil Big D, well, Drako to be perfectly clear, he's having a little tiny change right at the end of the chapter!!! If you want to know what I mean, then you must read on and then find out what I mean! And also, I would truly appreciate it if you could review afterwards as well!
~ Shoshi ~ Aw thanks, I don't read fics first time I see them, I like more developed fics, so I can read more chapters and stuff . . . and then I forget that I've already read them and I read them again! Lol, I think I'm just strange, thanks for reviewing!
~ Sesshyluver03 ~ OMG I was so excited when I saw your name!!! Sesshy, which is equal to Sesshoumaru-sama from the best anime ever, INUYASHA!!!!!! OMG. Sorry, I just never expected that an Inuyasha fan would ever read my fic, wow. I am so happy. Lol, I really hope you read this! Not just the chapter, but the thanks as well! THANKS!!! Oh and by the way, which one is better, Sesshoumaru or Inuyasha? * Grin *
~ Cliche'Brat ~ Lol, you are the third person who says its cute! Then its official, it must have been cute!!! Thanks for the review dude!
~ SweetCheeksDracoLuver ~ First, thanks so much for reviewing SO MANY times!! Omg, that was so funky of you!! Lol, and I were laughing so much at your reviews too, and that one about your brother!! LOL. FABULOUS. AWESOME!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! Lol, I really hope you like this chappie, thanks again!
~ Dragon-rose-vine ~ Here's the update, and I am really sorry about this, but I'm afraid that Drako will have to stay, for the reason that he's there to help the romance get along a bit more, and also, most people like him. Really sorry.
~ pink-neon ~ Lol, that's funny that I'm updating for your sanity and yet I seem to have non whatsoever, lol, anyway, thanks for reviewing! I owe you one!
~ Zinok ~ Hehe, yes, Little Draco, or Drako, is very cute, well he's supposed to be anyways, I mean, who wouldn't like two Draco's? (I have a person in mind but that's beside the point) Anyways, thanks for reviewing, enjoy the chappie!
~ Happigolucki616 ~ Hey, no fair!! I hate my chubby cheeks, they annoy me well badly, and I'm just like, ahhhh, lol, anyway, thanks for the review, and being specific too, cus' hardly anyone ever is specific in a review, but I guess its okay as long as they actually do review . . .
~ Fairy Lights ~ Thank you for the review! And yes, I think it's hilarious when two boys fit for a girl, which is why I put it in! That type of thing amuses me so much . . . lol, pathetic huh? Anyways, here's the chappie (it took long enough)
CHAPTER NINETEEN: A normal day at the land of Hogwarts.
DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter, now, if it was owned by me, and everyone knew this, then the plot plans would have been stolen by now, and everyone would have known the ending of Harry Potter by now! And also, if I did really own Harry Potter, then it would have been crap . . . hehehe . . .
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"Bad news everyone," Serena stood and tapped her spoon on some random object next to her, "Experiments today have been cancelled due to the fact that some goblins attacked our supply truck and ate all the tablets, potions, and all that rubbish. So, we have nothing to use for an experiment . . . apart from brooms, a few cloaks, and some dodgy wands we got given by some twins that called themselves Gred and Feorge."
Ron coughed, 'trying' to look innocent. It was now the morning and all of the 7th years were gathered in the Great Hall.
"So today, you shall go to you're lessons like you would if we were not here," Serena continued, "However, we have prepared special time tables for each pair and their child, okay, for some, TEENAGERS (at this she glanced at Drako). The three of you will be chained together with handcuffs. So, when I call you're names out, please come up here to be chained up please!"
Hermione groaned and hoped that Serena had forgotten she was alive and hopefully never call her name out . . . EVER.
"Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy and Drako Malfoy!!!!"
"FOR GODS SAKE HE'S NOT ME!!!!" Draco screamed, standing and pointing his finger into Drako's nose (ew . . .).
"No one ever said I was you," Drako scrunched his nose up, making Draco stare at his finger in disgust as it wriggled out of 'the nose', "I told you before. I am I, and you are . . . some other person. You're not important."
Draco could be seen shaking his fist at Drako, obviously trying to resist the temptation to punch his oh-so-handsome face.
When finally, the two Draco's had stopped their fight of 'shaking fists', Serena dragged them over to Hermione (who was already stood by the doors of the Great Hall). She got two pink puffy handcuffs and chained Draco's hand to Hermione's right, and Drako's hand to Hermione's left.
"Okay, now you three head towards your first lesson!" Serena exclaimed, stuffing the timetable into Hermione's robe pocket, "By the way, its History of magic so don't bother looking at your sheet."
Hermione pushed the door open with both her hands, making Drako and Draco raise one of their arms as well. She wondered whether Serena had memorised her timetable, and if she had, how come she wasn't chained to someone? Oh well, at least Drako and Draco was nice to look at – for a while anyway.
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History of magic was never the most exciting of subjects at Hogwarts. Now, just because someone was chained to two lush boys didn't make it any more interesting. Hermione yawned and looked to her right. Draco was sitting and staring at her sideways, a scowl on his face. She looked to her left. Drako's eyelids were getting heavier and heavier . . .
"Does anyone know why Slytherin died?" Professor Binns drawled. He didn't sound any more excited than the students felt.
Drako raised his hand surprisingly enough. Stifling a yawn, he said, "Because you talked him to sleep?"
Hermione nudged him in the ribs. He was already dead; he didn't need Drako to make him dead-er.
"Incorrect Mr Malfoy."
"Please, call me Drako."
"GOD DAMN YOU, I AM DRACO, ME, ME, ME, NOT YOU!!!!!!!" Draco screamed, "He's not even a Malfoy!!!!!!!!!! I AM!!!!"
"Settle down Mr Malfoys, you are both the same. Now that is settled, let's continue with how Gryffindor died . . ."
Hermione yawned again. Normally, she could listen and learn what Professor Binn's was saying, but today it was too much of an effort. All she wanted to do was sleep . . . on someone's shoulders.
"If you want to sleep, you're welcome to borrow my shoulder," Drako whispered into her ear. She shuddered. It felt so . . . ticklish, but still, an offer was an offer, and his shoulder did look very comfortable . . .
"No . . ." Draco hissed through gritted teeth, "She can borrow MY shoulder."
"Oh no, you're shoulder bone is sticking out, mine is much more comfy you know."
"Well if my shoulder bone is sticking out then so is yours! Remember, you're an exact copy of me –
"Except much more handsome and with better skin."
"Better skin? What do you mean by better skin?" Draco's eyes flashed dangerously. Drako grinned and whispered, "We shouldn't keep poor Hermione waiting for a nice shoulder to sleep on. Use mine." Drako pushed Hermione's head onto his shoulder, making Draco clench his fists under the table.
"No, use mine." Draco pushed Hermione's head onto his shoulder.
"Mine." Drako pushed her head back onto his shoulder.
"No, mine." Draco pushed it back onto his shoulder.
"MINE." And back to Drako.
"NO, MINE." And back to Draco again.
It was surprising that even though the Draco's were hissing so loudly, no one noticed. Most people were asleep anyway, so Hermione guessed it wasn't very surprising that no one noticed. As flattered as Hermione felt that two boys were fighting over possession of her head, she was starting to feel as though her head was a basketball . . .
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"Hey, do you still feel hungry? You can have a bite of my sandwich if you like," Drako offered to Hermione. Hermione smiled gratefully at him. She was rather hungry. After all, Ron was opposite her, and two Ron's (Ron and Ron Jr.) were more than enough to eat all the food on the Gryffindor table.
"Thanks Drako."
"Don't eat HIS sandwich," Draco glared at Drako angrily, "Its got chicken in it, chicken is fattening. Eat MY sandwich, its got nice healthy salad."
Drako glared back at him, "Oh, are you trying to say that Hermione is fat now? Is that why she can't eat chicken? THAT IS AN INSULT!!!" Drako turned to Hermione and smiled a smile that Hermione was sure would make any girl weak at the knees, "Don't worry, I still think you're gorgeous."
Hermione smiled, "Thanks."
Drako looked at Draco and stuck his tongue out at him, "Well, I think . . ." Draco searched for something to say, "I think you should eat my sandwich!"
"No, mine!"
"MINE!!!"
"MINE!!!!!!!!"
"Grrrr . . ." The two Draco's growled at each other as everyone stared at the pair. Off course, it was not everyday that you see two spoilt rich kids pretending to be dogs.
"If it makes you both happy, I'll eat both sandwiches! Just calm down!"
"Okay," Drako grinned, "Eat mine first."
"NO, MINE FIRST!!!!"
"MINE!!!"
"MINE!!!!"
"MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!!!!!!!!"
Hermione had had enough. She had never had two boys fighting over her and she had just realised that she didn't like it at all. As flattered as she was, she would rather people NOT know that two men were fighting over here – damn Serena for chaining her to them and ruining her plans for escape . . .
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"Now, Mr Malfoy, what are the main ingredients for this transformation potion?"
It was now potions. One lesson all Gryffindor's wished that they could miss. This meant that even our dear Hermione hated this lesson. She yawned; she could just feel another argument from the Draco's coming on . . .
"Which Malfoy do you mean sir?" Harry asked, trying to look innocent. Just one more little push and off they would be in argument land again . . .
"I'm sure he meant me of course," Drako said, smirking at Draco, "Seeing as I am so much smarter than HIM."
"What exactly do you mean by him?" Draco said, his voice dangerously low.
"I mean the ugly HIM."
"Then you must mean yourself!"
"No, I am me, you are HIM."
"No, I AM ME, YOU ARE HIM!"
"MR MALFOYS!!" Snape shouted loudly, interrupting the Draco's fight, and making everyone jump and spill the potion that they had been making (whether it was successful or not), "I SHALL NOT TOLERATE SUCH AWFUL BEHAVIOUR IN MY CLASS!!! NOW LEAVE THE ROOM AND STAY OUTSIDE UNTIL THE END OF THE LESSON!!!!"
Both Draco's stood up at exactly the same time, making Hermione raise her arms in surprise. They walked simultaneously out of the classroom, dragging Hermione on the floor with them.
"You okay Hermione?" Drako asked, as she rubbed her sore butt, "I didn't want to do anything to make HIM start another argument when Snape was still in there."
Drako glared at Draco, while Draco glared back at Drako.
Hermione looked at Draco and saw to her amazement that he looked slightly ruffled. By, ruffled, she meant, angry, annoyed and . . . upset? She had never seen him look so . . . emotional, and she felt herself blush as he looked towards her, his eyes telling her something she didn't really feel like noticing.
"Do you fancy me or not?"
She looked at Draco, her eyes bulging. Who thought he could be so blunt? No, 'oh I was just wondering . . .' or any, 'I was thinking . . .', just a 'do you fancy me?'. What kind of a question was that????? Okay, fine, it was a good question, and yes, Hermione did kind of forget that this was DRACO MALFOY (the original) that was asking the question, meaning that he wouldn't sweeten up anything he said, just for someone as insignificant as herself.
"What do you mean by that?" Hermione stuttered. She looked at Drako, who was now fiddling with a quill.
"I mean, do you fancy me or not? As in, do you like me, like me, or do you not?"
Somehow, Hermione found that even more confusing than before.
"Well . . . I don't know! Why are you –
"Well if you do fancy me then it's not a good way of showing me by going off with that messed-up version of myself!"
Draco pointed furiously to Drako, who was now fiddling with the quill and the door. God knows what he was doing . . .
"So? Even if I DO fancy you, you're never going to go out with me anyway!!!"
"I DIDN'T EVER SAY THAT."
Hermione gaped at him. And I'm sure that if Draco weren't his gorgeous self, he would be gaping at himself too. Hermione gulped and turned to see the reaction of Drako. Her face fell when she saw him still fiddling with the quill and the door.
"Hey you guys," Drako, exclaimed, his voice full of excitement, "Did you know that I can fit eighty-two quills in the size of this door?"
They stared at him, and were just about to say something when the door burst open and out fumbled the people who were in the classroom that Snape taught in i.e. Snape's classroom.
"You know Hermione," Drako began, placing the quill carefully in his well- spiked hair, "I do fancy you and everything, but fiddling with this quill has made me see sense!!! You see, the quill's feather has a long way to go before it can reach its point, where it joins together! Along the way, there are many obstacles, trying to make this quill blunt, like this door. But aha! It shall take more than one feeble door to make this perky quill blunt!!"
Ah, the philosophy of a Drako . . .
"Therefore," Drako continued, "I have decided that you, Hermione, are a mere obstacle, okay, a mere obstacle that I find attractive, but that's not the point! YOU are a mere obstacle that is distracting me from my one and only true love!! Now, it is all clear!!"
"Riiiiiiight," Hermione frowned, trying her hardest not to laugh, "So, who is this 'true love' you are talking, oh-so-fondly, about?"
Drako grinned mischievously as the last three-some of chained up people appeared at the door.
"OH HARRY!!!! I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE THE ONE FOR ME!!!!!!!!" Drako pounced on the nearest people – Harry, Padma, and of course, fourteen year old Harry junior (Harry junior's brain was aged fourteen, you see).
Hermione watched in amusement as Harry tried to get away from Drako, who was now doing all he could to hug Harry and envelope him in his arms. As they say . . .
'Why are the good ones always gay?'
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Hey guys! Okay, so some of you might be disappointed that Drako is . . . how do you say it, bent, but there you go! If you don't want it there, next chapter, I shall make him more of a straight guy again! Lol, I just had to put it in, for myself! (NOTE: I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST GAY MEN. I ACTUALLY LIKE THEM, THEY ARE ALWAYS MORE FUN THAN MOST STRAIGHT GUYS)
By the way, if you didn't understand Drako's philosophy on the quill, don't worry, you weren't actually meant to understand it! Lol, now that that's sorted, I guess I have nothing else to say, apart from the fact that I have no idea what to write now. Ideas are VERY welcome indeed.
PS. I know, I said I had nothing else to say, well, I was wrong. I am afraid to announce that CRAZY LUNATIC EXPERIMENTS will definitely soon be drawing to an end. In approximately four/five/six chapters (depending on my mood). I don't exactly know how it shall end, so there you are. BUT STILL, there's a long way to go until the end, so I still need ideas.
ANOTHER NOTE: So, tell me what you thought of this chapter, like, which bits you particularly liked, or, maybe what you think I should do next, or even some random thing you did today that you think might be of interest (ANYTHING interests me). No, I'm not a stalker; I'm just very nosey and interested in everyone else's lives. Heh.
PPS. Sorry it took so long. Internet was buggered. Again.
Summary: Hermione's aunt has been called to Hogwarts as she needs lots of children to be her 'guinea pigs' and of course, only Dumbledore is nice enough to let someone experiment with his students . . .
NARRATED BY MOI!
'=Thoughts "=speech
NO SPOILERS.
Thanks a lot to these people, and remember, YOU MUST READ THE THANKS!! Or next chapter shall come slower:
~ Natyslacks ~ Thanks! And it was nice talking to you the other day, anyways, I'm definitely trying to get the jealousy in (as you shall soon see, or, read). Thanks again for reviewing!
~ Cereza ~ LOL, God your review is so funny! Thanks a bunch of bananas (or, if you prefer, cheese) for reviewing this fic! You were so right in what you said for the review, and I think Bob would look abs fabs in that sailor suit!! WOW!!!!!!!! Lol, thanks again! I hope you like this chapter!!!
~ Milocachica ~ Yes, Drako is supposed to sound more hot than Draco! The reason why is cus' this fic is mostly from Hermi's point of view, so if I make it to sound like Drako is fitter than Draco, than obviously, Draco would get more jealous (hehe), lol, thanks for the review, I hope you update your fic soon!
~ Some12 ~ Lol, thanks, and a Gary-Stu is the male equivalent to a Mary- sue. And if you don't know what Mary-sue is (I didn't until last month . . .), then it's a mad-up character (which the author owns itself) and its like, perfect in every way and everyone fancies it (you know, whether they're gay, lesbian, straight . . .). So, I hope that made it clearer! Tata for now!
~ Cleopatra ~ Hehe, nothing can ever be too long! Or too short (just hinting in case you think this chapter is short . . .), thanks for reviewing, and you're from Germany? Cool O.O Sorry, I don't normally socialise with anyone outside of my country . . . lol, thanks again! Here's the update!
~ Burgundyred ~ Yeah, I see what you mean by the 'k' is annoying . . . but I can't spell it with anything else, sozzy. I'm glad you think the last chappie was 'cute', lol, I didn't exactly understand it, but then again, I'm kind of . . . slow **raises eyebrow** Lol, thanks again, and no need to thank me for reviewing, you're fics are awesome! MUST UPDATE THEM SOON . . . (no pressure or anything . . .)
~ Ding ~ Hey Ding, well, I'm updating, so you should too! Heh . . . I didn't really understand what you meant by saying that Drako sounded like Draco (well, it is supposed to be read the same way as Draco) except . . . bigger . . . no I didn't understand that at all. Thanks for reviewing by the way! Much appreciated.
~ Tears-That-Fall ~ Well . . . as long as you actually get your homework done, I'm fine with you getting distracted from doing it immediately . . . lol, I do that all the time! Anyways, thanks for the review!!!
~ IceCristal ~ Yay! It wasn't confusing! For once! Lol, yeah, everyone was like, oh dear, two Draco's not a good thing for Hermi, but now, everyone is jealous of her! EVEN ME!! How unfair, and no, sorry, I don't know where to buy a Draco . . . try the local super market . . .
~ Draco is mine3 ~ Thanks, here's the update, really hope you like, and also hope you review as well! Lol
~ Eventuality ~ Yeah, I know he was over the top, but I guess that was the point! Lol, I think you knew that as well, but nevermind, lol, anyways, thanks a lot for reviewing! Hugz!
~ Midnight Solitaire ~ Aw, thanks a lot! That's really soooo nice of you to say so!!! I hope you like this chapter . . . I'm just thinking that a lot of people might protest to it . . . I'm afraid that this fic will have to end soon (please read ending author's note). Oh well, all good (and bad) things have to end!! (Sob)
~ Gina ~ Gah, I know, fanfiction gets really annoying sometimes, I mean . . . I don't know what I mean, it just is annoying! Lol, anyway, thanks a bundle for not dropping this fic! The romance is definitely here for once, so read on and find out! Lol!
~ Anonymous ~ No, thank YOU, for reviewing, saying what you did, and spending your precious time on this fic! THANK YOU SO MUCH! Lol, I hope you like this chapter . . . I have a feeling some people might not . . . don't ask why, just a 'feeling'.
~ Pyroprincess4rmeverwood ~ Lol, okay, okay, I will try to get the romance in, the whole point of Drako hitting on Hermione is so that DRACO gets a chance to show what he thinks, took me forever to even understand what I was doing . . . and I am me!! Lol, if that made any sense at all, thanks for reviewing anyways!
~ Klee_babe ~ Howdy mate! I like Draco jealous and evil (although he's always evil anyways) too! I mean, who doesn't? Lol, thanks for reviewing, here's the update, please enjoy!
~ Legessa ~ Aw, thanks so much!! For spending time to read, and review!! Now all I'm scared of is that I'll disappoint everyone . . . Gah, the troubles of a teenage writer . . . lol, I'm such a worrywart, and I panic WAY too much, nevermind eh? As long as I get the chapters out . . .
~ NewSecretRose ~ Lol, I'm glad you liked it!!! Lol, sorry, mental image of you running around and shouting random things . . . hmm, the wonders of a brain . . . and LMAO, I was rolling on the floor laughing when I read your second review, I mean, I could just see it now . . . lol, and you know something? I've never seen Dora the Explorer . . .
~UntitledN'stayinthatway ~ Thanks for reviewing! And don't worry about it, I get so easily distracted, it took me forever just to remember to post the chapter for god's sake . . . or maybe that's just laziness?
~ Paprika90 ~ Lol, every review you send means a lot to me!!! Even if you said something really horrible (personally, I think those people need a life), thanks for reminding me about the break! I'm still thinking about it, I mean, if I did take a break, I won't exactly tell anyone when I'll be back, cus' even I don't know, and I would just spend my time finishing this fic anyways!
~ Christina ~ Thanks! A select few of people that are reviewing are telling me to get the romance on, which, I guess I should, seeing as this fic is about nineteen chapters long, and the romance has JUST come in, strange huh? And yeah, I hate those fics as well, I mean, its like they're doing it as love at first site, but they've seen each other for years and that hasn't happened! I just don't get it . . . anyway, thanks again for reviewing!
~ Gizelle ~ Lol, yeah, I know its very odd, and I know its very confusing, loads of people have been saying that for . . . well, forever really. And yeah, Draco's father is dead, I meant when he said that he wanted to owl his father, if his father was still alive, he would. That would be the reason why he didn't owl his father. Anyways, thanks for the review! I hope you understand this chapter more!
~ Aku-neko ~ Hey, thanks for the review, and yeah, that line was the best! THE BEST! Well, if you say so that is, lol. You can have Drako if you want . . . but alas, by the end of this chapter, you might have a different opinion . . .
~ Fluff ~ Aw thanks, someone else said the last chappie was cute, I mean, was it really cute? Or is it just cus' people need a word to say. Drako isn't a man-whore . . . exactly * raises eyebrow * Lol, anyway, thanks again for the review, you rock!
~ Smileyface1314 ~ YAY! REVIEW! But I have a question, what's a post- script? I know, so I sound kind of dumb, nevermind, only natural, lol. Thanks for reviewing this and gems! HUGZ
~ Callie ~ Thank you so much for reviewing!! Here's the update, I am praying that you will enjoy it, please review after you've read it so I know what you think!!!
~ Enchanted Phyre ~ Lol, wow, lots of the word update! Lol, anyway, thanks for reviewing, and for saying what you liked (some people just say thanks and that was it) I really hope you like this chappie, but you'll never know until you read it!
~ Spaced Out Space Cadet ~ Hehe, thanks so much, and you know something? I like you, lol, random, I know, and it is nice to know you know that I don't take you, or anyone else, for granted! Lol, but honestly, I say it in case some daft idiot, DOESN'T know that, thanks again anyways, and I hope you enjoy this chappie!
~ Mariah ~ Thank you so much for your review, and what you said, and also, yes, sorry about the confusion, what can I say? I'm a very confusing person, so naturally, what I write would be confusing . . . if only this was a film, now THAT would rock. . . .
~ Tinuviel Storm ~ Hmm . . . about Lil Big D, well, Drako to be perfectly clear, he's having a little tiny change right at the end of the chapter!!! If you want to know what I mean, then you must read on and then find out what I mean! And also, I would truly appreciate it if you could review afterwards as well!
~ Shoshi ~ Aw thanks, I don't read fics first time I see them, I like more developed fics, so I can read more chapters and stuff . . . and then I forget that I've already read them and I read them again! Lol, I think I'm just strange, thanks for reviewing!
~ Sesshyluver03 ~ OMG I was so excited when I saw your name!!! Sesshy, which is equal to Sesshoumaru-sama from the best anime ever, INUYASHA!!!!!! OMG. Sorry, I just never expected that an Inuyasha fan would ever read my fic, wow. I am so happy. Lol, I really hope you read this! Not just the chapter, but the thanks as well! THANKS!!! Oh and by the way, which one is better, Sesshoumaru or Inuyasha? * Grin *
~ Cliche'Brat ~ Lol, you are the third person who says its cute! Then its official, it must have been cute!!! Thanks for the review dude!
~ SweetCheeksDracoLuver ~ First, thanks so much for reviewing SO MANY times!! Omg, that was so funky of you!! Lol, and I were laughing so much at your reviews too, and that one about your brother!! LOL. FABULOUS. AWESOME!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! Lol, I really hope you like this chappie, thanks again!
~ Dragon-rose-vine ~ Here's the update, and I am really sorry about this, but I'm afraid that Drako will have to stay, for the reason that he's there to help the romance get along a bit more, and also, most people like him. Really sorry.
~ pink-neon ~ Lol, that's funny that I'm updating for your sanity and yet I seem to have non whatsoever, lol, anyway, thanks for reviewing! I owe you one!
~ Zinok ~ Hehe, yes, Little Draco, or Drako, is very cute, well he's supposed to be anyways, I mean, who wouldn't like two Draco's? (I have a person in mind but that's beside the point) Anyways, thanks for reviewing, enjoy the chappie!
~ Happigolucki616 ~ Hey, no fair!! I hate my chubby cheeks, they annoy me well badly, and I'm just like, ahhhh, lol, anyway, thanks for the review, and being specific too, cus' hardly anyone ever is specific in a review, but I guess its okay as long as they actually do review . . .
~ Fairy Lights ~ Thank you for the review! And yes, I think it's hilarious when two boys fit for a girl, which is why I put it in! That type of thing amuses me so much . . . lol, pathetic huh? Anyways, here's the chappie (it took long enough)
CHAPTER NINETEEN: A normal day at the land of Hogwarts.
DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter, now, if it was owned by me, and everyone knew this, then the plot plans would have been stolen by now, and everyone would have known the ending of Harry Potter by now! And also, if I did really own Harry Potter, then it would have been crap . . . hehehe . . .
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"Bad news everyone," Serena stood and tapped her spoon on some random object next to her, "Experiments today have been cancelled due to the fact that some goblins attacked our supply truck and ate all the tablets, potions, and all that rubbish. So, we have nothing to use for an experiment . . . apart from brooms, a few cloaks, and some dodgy wands we got given by some twins that called themselves Gred and Feorge."
Ron coughed, 'trying' to look innocent. It was now the morning and all of the 7th years were gathered in the Great Hall.
"So today, you shall go to you're lessons like you would if we were not here," Serena continued, "However, we have prepared special time tables for each pair and their child, okay, for some, TEENAGERS (at this she glanced at Drako). The three of you will be chained together with handcuffs. So, when I call you're names out, please come up here to be chained up please!"
Hermione groaned and hoped that Serena had forgotten she was alive and hopefully never call her name out . . . EVER.
"Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy and Drako Malfoy!!!!"
"FOR GODS SAKE HE'S NOT ME!!!!" Draco screamed, standing and pointing his finger into Drako's nose (ew . . .).
"No one ever said I was you," Drako scrunched his nose up, making Draco stare at his finger in disgust as it wriggled out of 'the nose', "I told you before. I am I, and you are . . . some other person. You're not important."
Draco could be seen shaking his fist at Drako, obviously trying to resist the temptation to punch his oh-so-handsome face.
When finally, the two Draco's had stopped their fight of 'shaking fists', Serena dragged them over to Hermione (who was already stood by the doors of the Great Hall). She got two pink puffy handcuffs and chained Draco's hand to Hermione's right, and Drako's hand to Hermione's left.
"Okay, now you three head towards your first lesson!" Serena exclaimed, stuffing the timetable into Hermione's robe pocket, "By the way, its History of magic so don't bother looking at your sheet."
Hermione pushed the door open with both her hands, making Drako and Draco raise one of their arms as well. She wondered whether Serena had memorised her timetable, and if she had, how come she wasn't chained to someone? Oh well, at least Drako and Draco was nice to look at – for a while anyway.
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History of magic was never the most exciting of subjects at Hogwarts. Now, just because someone was chained to two lush boys didn't make it any more interesting. Hermione yawned and looked to her right. Draco was sitting and staring at her sideways, a scowl on his face. She looked to her left. Drako's eyelids were getting heavier and heavier . . .
"Does anyone know why Slytherin died?" Professor Binns drawled. He didn't sound any more excited than the students felt.
Drako raised his hand surprisingly enough. Stifling a yawn, he said, "Because you talked him to sleep?"
Hermione nudged him in the ribs. He was already dead; he didn't need Drako to make him dead-er.
"Incorrect Mr Malfoy."
"Please, call me Drako."
"GOD DAMN YOU, I AM DRACO, ME, ME, ME, NOT YOU!!!!!!!" Draco screamed, "He's not even a Malfoy!!!!!!!!!! I AM!!!!"
"Settle down Mr Malfoys, you are both the same. Now that is settled, let's continue with how Gryffindor died . . ."
Hermione yawned again. Normally, she could listen and learn what Professor Binn's was saying, but today it was too much of an effort. All she wanted to do was sleep . . . on someone's shoulders.
"If you want to sleep, you're welcome to borrow my shoulder," Drako whispered into her ear. She shuddered. It felt so . . . ticklish, but still, an offer was an offer, and his shoulder did look very comfortable . . .
"No . . ." Draco hissed through gritted teeth, "She can borrow MY shoulder."
"Oh no, you're shoulder bone is sticking out, mine is much more comfy you know."
"Well if my shoulder bone is sticking out then so is yours! Remember, you're an exact copy of me –
"Except much more handsome and with better skin."
"Better skin? What do you mean by better skin?" Draco's eyes flashed dangerously. Drako grinned and whispered, "We shouldn't keep poor Hermione waiting for a nice shoulder to sleep on. Use mine." Drako pushed Hermione's head onto his shoulder, making Draco clench his fists under the table.
"No, use mine." Draco pushed Hermione's head onto his shoulder.
"Mine." Drako pushed her head back onto his shoulder.
"No, mine." Draco pushed it back onto his shoulder.
"MINE." And back to Drako.
"NO, MINE." And back to Draco again.
It was surprising that even though the Draco's were hissing so loudly, no one noticed. Most people were asleep anyway, so Hermione guessed it wasn't very surprising that no one noticed. As flattered as Hermione felt that two boys were fighting over possession of her head, she was starting to feel as though her head was a basketball . . .
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"Hey, do you still feel hungry? You can have a bite of my sandwich if you like," Drako offered to Hermione. Hermione smiled gratefully at him. She was rather hungry. After all, Ron was opposite her, and two Ron's (Ron and Ron Jr.) were more than enough to eat all the food on the Gryffindor table.
"Thanks Drako."
"Don't eat HIS sandwich," Draco glared at Drako angrily, "Its got chicken in it, chicken is fattening. Eat MY sandwich, its got nice healthy salad."
Drako glared back at him, "Oh, are you trying to say that Hermione is fat now? Is that why she can't eat chicken? THAT IS AN INSULT!!!" Drako turned to Hermione and smiled a smile that Hermione was sure would make any girl weak at the knees, "Don't worry, I still think you're gorgeous."
Hermione smiled, "Thanks."
Drako looked at Draco and stuck his tongue out at him, "Well, I think . . ." Draco searched for something to say, "I think you should eat my sandwich!"
"No, mine!"
"MINE!!!"
"MINE!!!!!!!!"
"Grrrr . . ." The two Draco's growled at each other as everyone stared at the pair. Off course, it was not everyday that you see two spoilt rich kids pretending to be dogs.
"If it makes you both happy, I'll eat both sandwiches! Just calm down!"
"Okay," Drako grinned, "Eat mine first."
"NO, MINE FIRST!!!!"
"MINE!!!"
"MINE!!!!"
"MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!!!!!!!!"
Hermione had had enough. She had never had two boys fighting over her and she had just realised that she didn't like it at all. As flattered as she was, she would rather people NOT know that two men were fighting over here – damn Serena for chaining her to them and ruining her plans for escape . . .
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"Now, Mr Malfoy, what are the main ingredients for this transformation potion?"
It was now potions. One lesson all Gryffindor's wished that they could miss. This meant that even our dear Hermione hated this lesson. She yawned; she could just feel another argument from the Draco's coming on . . .
"Which Malfoy do you mean sir?" Harry asked, trying to look innocent. Just one more little push and off they would be in argument land again . . .
"I'm sure he meant me of course," Drako said, smirking at Draco, "Seeing as I am so much smarter than HIM."
"What exactly do you mean by him?" Draco said, his voice dangerously low.
"I mean the ugly HIM."
"Then you must mean yourself!"
"No, I am me, you are HIM."
"No, I AM ME, YOU ARE HIM!"
"MR MALFOYS!!" Snape shouted loudly, interrupting the Draco's fight, and making everyone jump and spill the potion that they had been making (whether it was successful or not), "I SHALL NOT TOLERATE SUCH AWFUL BEHAVIOUR IN MY CLASS!!! NOW LEAVE THE ROOM AND STAY OUTSIDE UNTIL THE END OF THE LESSON!!!!"
Both Draco's stood up at exactly the same time, making Hermione raise her arms in surprise. They walked simultaneously out of the classroom, dragging Hermione on the floor with them.
"You okay Hermione?" Drako asked, as she rubbed her sore butt, "I didn't want to do anything to make HIM start another argument when Snape was still in there."
Drako glared at Draco, while Draco glared back at Drako.
Hermione looked at Draco and saw to her amazement that he looked slightly ruffled. By, ruffled, she meant, angry, annoyed and . . . upset? She had never seen him look so . . . emotional, and she felt herself blush as he looked towards her, his eyes telling her something she didn't really feel like noticing.
"Do you fancy me or not?"
She looked at Draco, her eyes bulging. Who thought he could be so blunt? No, 'oh I was just wondering . . .' or any, 'I was thinking . . .', just a 'do you fancy me?'. What kind of a question was that????? Okay, fine, it was a good question, and yes, Hermione did kind of forget that this was DRACO MALFOY (the original) that was asking the question, meaning that he wouldn't sweeten up anything he said, just for someone as insignificant as herself.
"What do you mean by that?" Hermione stuttered. She looked at Drako, who was now fiddling with a quill.
"I mean, do you fancy me or not? As in, do you like me, like me, or do you not?"
Somehow, Hermione found that even more confusing than before.
"Well . . . I don't know! Why are you –
"Well if you do fancy me then it's not a good way of showing me by going off with that messed-up version of myself!"
Draco pointed furiously to Drako, who was now fiddling with the quill and the door. God knows what he was doing . . .
"So? Even if I DO fancy you, you're never going to go out with me anyway!!!"
"I DIDN'T EVER SAY THAT."
Hermione gaped at him. And I'm sure that if Draco weren't his gorgeous self, he would be gaping at himself too. Hermione gulped and turned to see the reaction of Drako. Her face fell when she saw him still fiddling with the quill and the door.
"Hey you guys," Drako, exclaimed, his voice full of excitement, "Did you know that I can fit eighty-two quills in the size of this door?"
They stared at him, and were just about to say something when the door burst open and out fumbled the people who were in the classroom that Snape taught in i.e. Snape's classroom.
"You know Hermione," Drako began, placing the quill carefully in his well- spiked hair, "I do fancy you and everything, but fiddling with this quill has made me see sense!!! You see, the quill's feather has a long way to go before it can reach its point, where it joins together! Along the way, there are many obstacles, trying to make this quill blunt, like this door. But aha! It shall take more than one feeble door to make this perky quill blunt!!"
Ah, the philosophy of a Drako . . .
"Therefore," Drako continued, "I have decided that you, Hermione, are a mere obstacle, okay, a mere obstacle that I find attractive, but that's not the point! YOU are a mere obstacle that is distracting me from my one and only true love!! Now, it is all clear!!"
"Riiiiiiight," Hermione frowned, trying her hardest not to laugh, "So, who is this 'true love' you are talking, oh-so-fondly, about?"
Drako grinned mischievously as the last three-some of chained up people appeared at the door.
"OH HARRY!!!! I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE THE ONE FOR ME!!!!!!!!" Drako pounced on the nearest people – Harry, Padma, and of course, fourteen year old Harry junior (Harry junior's brain was aged fourteen, you see).
Hermione watched in amusement as Harry tried to get away from Drako, who was now doing all he could to hug Harry and envelope him in his arms. As they say . . .
'Why are the good ones always gay?'
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Hey guys! Okay, so some of you might be disappointed that Drako is . . . how do you say it, bent, but there you go! If you don't want it there, next chapter, I shall make him more of a straight guy again! Lol, I just had to put it in, for myself! (NOTE: I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST GAY MEN. I ACTUALLY LIKE THEM, THEY ARE ALWAYS MORE FUN THAN MOST STRAIGHT GUYS)
By the way, if you didn't understand Drako's philosophy on the quill, don't worry, you weren't actually meant to understand it! Lol, now that that's sorted, I guess I have nothing else to say, apart from the fact that I have no idea what to write now. Ideas are VERY welcome indeed.
PS. I know, I said I had nothing else to say, well, I was wrong. I am afraid to announce that CRAZY LUNATIC EXPERIMENTS will definitely soon be drawing to an end. In approximately four/five/six chapters (depending on my mood). I don't exactly know how it shall end, so there you are. BUT STILL, there's a long way to go until the end, so I still need ideas.
ANOTHER NOTE: So, tell me what you thought of this chapter, like, which bits you particularly liked, or, maybe what you think I should do next, or even some random thing you did today that you think might be of interest (ANYTHING interests me). No, I'm not a stalker; I'm just very nosey and interested in everyone else's lives. Heh.
PPS. Sorry it took so long. Internet was buggered. Again.