CRAZY LUNATIC EXPERIMENTS
Summary: Hermione's aunt has been called to Hogwarts as she needs lots of children to be her 'guinea pigs' and of course, only Dumbledore is nice enough to let someone experiment with his students . . .
NARRATED BY MOI!
'=Thoughts "=speech
NO SPOILERS.
CHAPTER TWENTY: A world of words
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Literally. For once I feel like not ranting on, and just trying to make the disclaimer at least four lines long (well, on my word document anyways, I don't know how long it is on fanfic.net) But, alas, I have done it once again, and made the disclaimer very long with my rant of no rant. Strange, huh?
THANKS TO THE FOLLOWING NUMBER OF RESPECTED PEOPLE:
Gina Aw, that sucks that you can't use fanfic to review, but still, it is nice that you email your review instead! Lol. Sorry if the update took too long by the way, and I'm wondering what havoc would happen if Draco and Hermione went out in PUBLIC which is why they're not quite together yet, hehe. Thanks for reviewing!
Black-unicorn13 Lol, gay men rock! They have a real good sense of humour and are so much more fun than most boys who are just football, football, and more football. Thanks for reviewing, and liking every single bit of it! Hope this ones good! Lol
Natyslacks Hehe, thanks a bundle for review! And about your white coat, is it still nice? Rain sucks – BIG TIME. Lol, lucky I haven't been getting much lately, hooray! I like Eskimos; they always look really funny and live with penguins . . . or at least that's my theory anyway . . .
Milocachica Thanks for reviewing, and Draco asked Hermione if she still fancied him because he thought she was flirting with Drako, but now Drako is kind of out of the way because of him being gay. Anyway, thanks again!
SweetCheeksDracoLuver Aw thanks! I need more idea if this fic is going to actually get an ending . . . and I'm running out of them! Sorry if this chapter took too long, I was lazy and depressed. Heh. Oh and about your ideas, sorry but Voldemort isn't going in this fic, and even if he was, he would just be some strange demented old man (why? Well because then he wouldn't ruin the humour!) and also with the Xmas thing . . . I used that in another fic, and I'd hate to use it again. A thanks for trying though, that was really nice of you!!!
Zinok Lol, I AGREE, FRED IS SOOOO MUCH BETTER!!! Lol, I don't see the difference cus' they are twins and everything, but I just think Fred is better! Thanks for reviewing!! (Oh and so sorry for the long wait, I needed to finish the other chapter for my other fic! And they've actually kissed like two times already, which is kind of surprising for something I wrote)
TOM-FELTON-IS-SEXY Heh, thanks, I know, I made them both sound fit cus' I like it that way! HA! Lol, anyways, thanks for reviewing so much, I appreciate it!! (As you know)
MEME Errr, they're all meatatarians . . . as far as I'm concerned anyway!
Some12 Hehe, hardly anyone saw the gay Drako part coming, I guess it isn't exactly that obvious, lol. That sucks having a teacher hate you, it makes life even harder than it is, and don't you feel like giving them a chill pill? (Or maybe strangling them . . . it might cost less) and lol, I find it so amusing when they got one of those annoying veins in their forehead, luckily, I have a fringe so I don't know if I have one of those, lol. Oh and thank you so much for giving me a tip on an ending.
Michelle Lol, yeah, I guess it was, lol. Oh and I didn't even understand Drako's theory, even if I did write it! Thanks for reviewing, please enjoy the chappie!
Tinuviel Storm Aw, thank you so much! I know this is kind of short and it took extra long to get out, but at least you know I'm not on a break! I don't think anyway. Maybe Drako will enrol at Hogwarts, I'll give it a thought, but right now, I'm just trying to focus on the relationship between Hermione and Draco!
NeLLy22 Sorry if this took too long! Near about three weeks . . . long enough?
IceCristal If you read on, you shall see whether Drako stays gay or not! And well done for rhyming! I would have never done that, not even accidentally on purpose. I'm awful that way, heh.
Enchanted Phyre Thank you for reviewing!! And, wow! Congrats for you!!! I can't believe there is actually a guy out there who looks like Draco (even slightly)!! WOW!! Lol, sorry if this took too long, I know, I know, I'm so lazy! But at least tis out now please review!
Pink-neon But if Drako fancied Hermione than Draco and Hermione would never get together! And yeah, so they're both alike, nevermind, they're still different! Okay, now I'm just confusing, lol, you and me I think, so thanks for reviewing and enjoy!
Callie Thanks for the review, and lol, yes; I did understand what you were saying, even if it was confusing! Lol, I guess its cus' I'm confusing, so confusing people understand confusing people . . . if that made any sense at all.
HappiGoLucki616 Lol, Thanks a lot! I hope this chapter is funny too, I'm not sure. I don't think I actually checked it properly, so it's probably full of errors (not that it isn't even if I have checked it, lol) Thanks again!
ChIcKa Hey sorry! I forgot to email you to tell you that I updated, lol, we both forgot! Nevermind, hopefully it won't happen again (hopefully that is)
NightyGal Okay, here's the update, sorry it took so long, I kind of slacked off a bit, nevermind, the chapters here now! Anyway, thanks for reviewing, even if you didn't before!
Elle-poohbear this fic is rather strange compared to others isn't it? Lol, its just cus' I'm a rather weird person, lol, so it's not surprising that I would write something so 'unique', hehe. Thanks for the review! Much appreciated.
Eventuality what does tt mean? I don't get it. Lol, I don't get a lot of things so it's not surprising. I know fighting is annoying, but when you're not in the fight, it is amusing, no? Lol, anyway, thanks for reviewing! And for what you said in your review!!!
Xmaverickf14x Hehe, thanks! It was a kind of twist isn't it?
Anonymous Lol, glad you think the romance getting in is good, I do too! And I'm always scared someone won't like the chapter, you know the odd little individuals (or gangs, depending on how bad it is exactly) It's always better to be safe than sorry I guess!
Paprika90 Thanks! I like little suggestions and comments and stuff, that's what makes a review a review! (If you just said something like good, bye, that would just annoy me, lol) Anyway, I hope this didn't take too long, and I hope you like it too!!!
Dracoluver2009 Lol, of course it's going to end! I mean, if it didn't end then people would just get annoyed with it, and then I would run out of ideas! It's better to end something with fond memories.
Burgundyred Wow, are you good or what? How did you know? If you don't know what I mean by how did you know, read on and you might get my drift. Thanks for the review, I hope you like this chapter (I really do!) I don't know why but I just feel kind of scared that you won't like it . . .
Aku-neko Lol, I'm glad you think that way! Some people would just shout at me for making Drako gay, but you didn't yay! To find out what happens next, you will have to read on, of course! Lol, and as for Draco and Hermione . . . actually, I'll let you read about that as well!
Lily of the Shadow No, I can't remember whether you reviewed this a while ago or not, I don't remember a lot of things . . . lol, and no, I never knew saying that out loud sounded like pee-pee, but it was interesting, yes!
Spaced Out Spaced Cadet Aw thanks, it's nice to know I make someone laugh! Hehe, and I think Drako confused everyone with his quill thing, oh well, that's what he's made for!
Midnight Solitaire No, I don't watch wwe, what is it? Hold on, is it some type of wrestling? Thanks for reviewing, and suggesting stuff, you were one of the few that did so! Lol, and I will try to extend the length of the fic so that it will end less soon!!! Thanks again!
Angela Hehe, freaky humour? I like that. And I get what you mean about that gay ones are always fit and stuff, maybe your theory is right . . .
Kleebabe Even though Drako is gay, at least he did make Draco jealous before he announced it! Thanks for reviewing again, it meant a lot to me!
UntitledN'stayinthatway HEHEHHE, SUGAR MANIA!!!!!!!!!!
Pyroprincess4rmeverwood Okay, I will try to make the ending longer but I'm not promising anything. All I know is that it will have to end soon, when I don't know, but soon.
Smileyface1314 Thank you for suggesting something! I noted them down, but I'm not promising that I'll use them! (Just in case I actually forget, lol) Thanks again (for reviewing as well as suggesting, hehe)
Cacti-chan Lol, thanks! I'm not that much of a genius cus' most of the ideas used are due to my lovely reviewers who have all given me suggestions! HUGZ
ShortStuff10 I like it when my fics are rather unique, it makes me stand out more, hehe! It's also very nice how you don't mind Drako being gay, my mate who reads this was screaming at me cus' I made him gay and I was like 'what is your problem with gay people?' and that just made her shut up, so I was like VICTORY!! Which just got her winded up again, lol. I'm so good at annoying people . . .
Cereza Well, all good things must come to an end . . . god I sound so old! I love monkeys!! FUNKY MONKEY!!! That's what I say! Lol, BOB SHALL DEAL WITH YOU EVIL REVEIWER!!! MWHAHAHAHHA!!! Cough, okay, now that's over and done with, yes Bob's army can smell of cheese if you like! And lol, you're right, it isn't everyday that you see people eating cheese turtles (although it has been done . . .) Lol, I'd laugh if Harry loved him as well . . . (random but hey!)
Dragon-rose-vine Oh I get it, well the reason why Drako liked Hermione was to get Draco jealous so that it was easier for me to get the romance into the fic. I'm not good with romance and humour in one go, so it might have taken a while if Drako wasn't there . . .
Fairy Lights Hehe, that must have been fun, my friend and me leaned back on a seesaw just to see which one of us was heavier! Oh and I'm sorry that you don't like Drako being gay, read on and see for yourself! Lol, thanks for the suggestions too!!! (May or may not be used, I'm not promising anything)
Tears-That-Fall Sorry that you're not pleased with it, read on and you may feel better (or worse). Just cus' Drako's gay it doesn't mean that Draco is too, he's not an EXACT replica (otherwise he wouldn't be as hot)
Blind-assassin Thanks for reviewing, and for what you said too! I hope you're reading this chappie, and also enjoying it. No point reading something if you don't like it, lol.
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Some of us may complain about the fact that our everyday lives are so boring, we moan and mope about the fact that our school isn't like Hogwarts, full of magic and mystery, and the people who are actually at Hogwarts show off and laugh at how they have it so much better than us normal people, or shall I say, muggles?
Well, for once, Hermione just felt like swapping with one of us normal people (if you can call 'us' normal).
It was midnight on this fine day, okay, night, and Hermione was just lying there, thinking. Drako was sleeping in his own bed for once, and after deciding that he was gay, and then deciding that he wasn't, and then deciding that he liked both men and women, (therefore being a bisexual) he had finally fallen asleep. Drako was more hectic than Draco.
She had never been able to sleep at night now. Perhaps it was just because she was in Draco's bed. Or rather, on the same bed as Draco. God damn him.
She yawned and stood up, grabbing her dressing gown. No one would mind if she just crept out for a walk . . . and even if they did mind, she didn't care, they weren't as important as her.
Hermione walked out of the dark room, and began her way down the long corridor. It was kind of creepy walking down the corridor, after all, wouldn't you be scared too if you were walking down a long corridor that you couldn't see the end of? Suddenly, Hermione tripped over something on the floor . . . something big and . .. lumpy.
"Groan . . ."
Hermione squeaked. Was it some sort of monster that only came out at night so that it could sit in a hallway? Hmm . . . if that was so then the monster must be quite pathetic.
"You just killed my hand."
And as always, Hermione was correct in her guess. It was a monster, yes, a monster by the name of Draco.
"What is he doing sitting on the floor in the middle of a dark corridor at night?" Hermione wondered aloud.
"Well, HE is wondering the same thing," Draco hissed, sounding rather annoyed, "And you know something, I always thought that pathetic person who calls himself me was gay – he was always checking me out."
"Drako isn't gay! He's . . . bisexual."
"I bet he doesn't even know what bisexual means!!!"
Hermione looked as though she was deep in thought, "Good point."
She sat down next to Draco, and sighed. How come she hadn't noticed that Draco wasn't asleep next to her? Or why hadn't she heard him creep out of the room? Well, Drako was snoring rather loudly . . . and she was kind of afraid that if she looked at Draco sleeping again, she would definitely do something she regretted . . basically cut some of his hair off and keep it as a souvenir.
"So, why can't you sleep?"
Hermione looked at Draco. He had asked her a question. He had started a conversation. WOW.
"Why can't YOU sleep?"
"No, I asked you first."
"Well, I asked you second."
"That's not the point, answer me."
"No, you answer me first."
Hermione looked at Draco feeling amused. He was getting stressed – again. Well, it wasn't her fault he was so easily fired up, or her fault that she enjoyed seeing him get angry, and it was definitely not her fault that he looked slightly like a penguin when he shook with anger, hehe.
"Can I ask you a question?" Hermione asked slowly.
"You just did."
"Shut up, that's not the point!" Hermione glared at him. Now, it wasn't Draco's fault that Hermione looked like a monkey when she got annoyed. He swore, it was just the shape of her ears . . .
"I was just wondering about you said today . . ." Hermione tried to ask without sounding stupid . . .
"I said a lot of things today."
And obviously, Draco was not making things any easier for her.
"You know, what you said right before Drako announced that he was gay – I mean right before he said he fancied Harry."
Draco smirked, "If anyone says that they fancy Potter, they HAVE to be gay."
"You're getting away from the subject!!! I mean what you said when I said that you would never go out with me, and then you said that you never said you wouldn't go out with me!! OR ARE YOU TOO OLD TO REMEMBER????"
"OH NOT THIS AGAIN!!!! Hermione, you know very well how old I am!!!!"
"AS A MATTER OF FACT I DON'T!!!!"
"WELL AS A MATTER OF FACT IF WE KEEP SHOUTING SOMEONE WILL HEAR US!!!!!!!!!"
Draco's eyes were bulging, and Hermione's head was throbbing. So he had a point, but she wasn't going to admit to it.
"You're just steering away from what I was talking about," Hermione said, stubbornly, "What did you mean when you said that?"
"I mean exactly what I said! I never did say I wouldn't go out with you!!!"
"Then are you saying you would?????"
"I don't know!!!" Draco sighed, "YOU NEVER DID ASK ME."
"Well its not like you'd let me ask."
"What do you mean? I am standing right here, listening to you."
Hermione looked at him. He did look kind of serious . . . kind of, that is. Slowly, she took a deep breath – was this the day? The day when Hermione Granger would finally get a decent looking boyfriend for once?
"Will you go out with –
"Oh look at the time, I need my beauty sleep."
And with that, Draco scurried off towards the room, ready for his 'beauty sleep'. Hermione looked at the place where he had been just a few minutes ago. She would have never thought it – Draco Malfoy, saying he needed to become more beautiful . . .
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Soon it was the next morning, and Hermione was absolutely exhausted. She hadn't been able to get any sleep, she hadn't been able to ask Draco out, and she hadn't even been able to snore. How pathetic.
Draco had said, of course, that he had actually never said the words 'I refuse to go out with you', meaning that he might actually date her, but he definitely wasn't going to make it an easy job for her. Damn him.
She wondered how she could ask him. Obviously, it wasn't like he would actually stay to hear her talk, and he would just run everytime she was near – just in case. So, how was he going to know what she wanted to say, AND answer her as well? Well, naturally, he was born a Malfoy, meaning there was nothing more to him than his pride. Or maybe his money.
Hermione grinned. Slowly, she had a nice little plan forming in her mind. Sure, she was going to have to embarrass herself in the progress, but she had already been embarrassed this year, and she was positive that it couldn't get any worse (let's name some embarrassing situations: her growing a beard, her voice breaking, her very presence there was an embarrassment . . .)
She rubbed her hands together mischievously, and then laughed a maniac kind of laugh. Oh yes, she was good, very good.
"HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHA –
"Shut up," Drako mumbled, taking the pillow that he has just thrown at Hermione out of her mouth, "Its nice that you're a morning person Hermione . . . IT'S A SHAME I'M NOT."
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Getting dressed had to be one of the hardest things she had ever done. Of course, Hermione Granger, being the near perfect person that she was, would have done many extraordinary things that normal, average, witches and wizards her age couldn't do, but, today, she had really outsmarted herself. She couldn't even FIND her clothes let alone put them on.
"DRACO!!! DRAKO!!! YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO –
There was no point asking where her clothes were, for right at that precise moment, Drako stepped into the bathroom wearing Hermione's robes.
"How do I look?" He pouted, trying to make himself look sexy (someone needed to tell him that he didn't even need to pout to do that, hehe)
"Great, now give me my clothes back."
"Hold on, I know something even better!!!" Drako pulled out Hermione's wand (no wonder Hermione lost everything . . . come to think of it, how did Drako scab all her stuff so quickly? It was really kind of creepy) He tapped the wand twice on his head, and his nicely spiked platinum blonde hair fell down into blonde curls.
"Drako, its nice that you like women so much you want to be one, but please, just give me my clothes back."
"I will . . . eventually! But I just thought it would be fun to dress up like one, I mean, I envy the population of growing girls in this world!!!" Drako said indignantly, "All they have to do is look down at their chests and there the boobies are!! Right in your face!! You can play with them at any time – even play with TWO of them at the same time!!! Boys have to work hard just to see them!!!!"
Hermione stared at him. Boy, he was REALLY starting to worry her now.
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Breakfast time. In the same classroom, as always (well, not always, but you get what I mean). Hermione looked around. It wasn't until now that she had actually realised how many people were in Hogwarts seventh year. It was beginning to get her rather paranoid.
"Pass the bacon."
Hermione looked towards the speaker. It was Draco, yawning and trying not to mess up his perfectly stiff hair - oh how very typical. Maybe if she tried one last time, it might just work . . .
"Draco . . ." Hermione slowly said, letting his name roll off her tongue as she passed him the tray of bacon sandwiches, "Will you go o –
"Here you can have one too!!!!" Draco hurriedly stuffed about ten sandwiches into her mouth before she gabbled another word.
She coughed, and spluttered until all the bacon sandwiches had gone from her mouth and onto her plate. She looked at it in disgust. Even RON wouldn't want to eat that anymore . . .
"See, I never knew you had that big a gob," Draco said, munching happily on a sandwich, "You should thank me for interrupting whatever was so important you had to say it so early in the morning."
She growled at him. Literally, growled, and grumbled and growled (again) as she clambered onto the table, kicking random objects of no importance off. She would have to embarrass her, he had given her no other option.
"Hey!! I was watching that fly swim around in my juice!!!" Drako exclaimed, pouting angrily at Hermione (luckily, he was now dressed normally . . . well, if you count wearing clothes that Snape would wear 'normal' . . .)
"LISTEN UP EVERYONE!!!!!!" Hermione shouted, waving her arms in the air like any insane person would do, "I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE!!!!!!! AND ALL MUST LISTEN!!!!" She continued to shout, as Draco looked up, horrified, then began to climb out of his seat, and creep towards the door . . .
"AND THAT INCLUDES YOU DRACO MALFOY – THE BIGGER ONE!!!!!!!"
Draco stopped, his eyes shut tight, and squeaked.
"I, HERMIONE GRANGER, ASK, YOU, YES, YOU, DRACO MALFOY, TO GO OUT WITH ME!!!!!!!!! AND WE HAVE ALL THE PEOPLE HERE AS WITNESSES!!!!!!" Somehow, Hermione had changed her wand into a microphone. How intelligent. Draco didn't turn around, instead, he found it much more convenient to run.
"I DIDN'T HEAR YOU!!!!" He shouted as he bolted towards the nearest exit.
"WHAT ARE YOU, DEAF??? I SHOUTED IT INTO A BLIMMIN' MICROPHONE!!!!!!!!!"
"ITS NOT A MICROPHONE, IT'S A WAND!!!" Draco screamed, turning around and staring indignantly at Hermione, using his finger to indicate the word 'wand'.
"SAME DIFFERENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW ANSWER THE GOD DAMN QUESTION!!!!!!!"
"I DIDN'T HEAR IT!!!"
"WELL I'LL SAY IT AGAIN THEN –
"NO DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"AND WHY NOT????????"
"CUS'."
"CUS' WHAT, ARE YOU EMBARRASSED????"
"WELL DUH, HAVING A PERSON SHOUTING THROUGH A WAND AND ASKING ME OUT –
"HA!!!!!!! SO YOU DID HEAR THE QUESTION!!!!!"
Draco sighed at his own stupidity. Damn himself, he always had to muck something up, just when he didn't want to. Curse it . . .
Suddenly, he felt a pat on his shoulder. Draco turned to find that it was, in fact, himself – Drako Malfoy.
"Well mate, you got to give her an answer . . . well, at least before Norman the fly begins to attack her for making him nearly drown in my juice. . ."
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Okay, so I finally finished this chapter after donkey's years. Yes, I know, it took so long, and its not even very long, well, I'd appreciate it if you just didn't mention that in your review, because, well, I hate being put under pressure, and it will just make me feel bad, and if I feel bad, it'll just take longer for me to write! HA! Lol, okay, I'll quit with the ranting now, tata people.
PS. OMG! I just found out, you know Harry Potter three is coming out on June for people in America? Well, I got confused and thought that English dates were the same as America, when in fact, we get it a few days earlier! MAY 31ST HERE I COME!
Summary: Hermione's aunt has been called to Hogwarts as she needs lots of children to be her 'guinea pigs' and of course, only Dumbledore is nice enough to let someone experiment with his students . . .
NARRATED BY MOI!
'=Thoughts "=speech
NO SPOILERS.
CHAPTER TWENTY: A world of words
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Literally. For once I feel like not ranting on, and just trying to make the disclaimer at least four lines long (well, on my word document anyways, I don't know how long it is on fanfic.net) But, alas, I have done it once again, and made the disclaimer very long with my rant of no rant. Strange, huh?
THANKS TO THE FOLLOWING NUMBER OF RESPECTED PEOPLE:
Gina Aw, that sucks that you can't use fanfic to review, but still, it is nice that you email your review instead! Lol. Sorry if the update took too long by the way, and I'm wondering what havoc would happen if Draco and Hermione went out in PUBLIC which is why they're not quite together yet, hehe. Thanks for reviewing!
Black-unicorn13 Lol, gay men rock! They have a real good sense of humour and are so much more fun than most boys who are just football, football, and more football. Thanks for reviewing, and liking every single bit of it! Hope this ones good! Lol
Natyslacks Hehe, thanks a bundle for review! And about your white coat, is it still nice? Rain sucks – BIG TIME. Lol, lucky I haven't been getting much lately, hooray! I like Eskimos; they always look really funny and live with penguins . . . or at least that's my theory anyway . . .
Milocachica Thanks for reviewing, and Draco asked Hermione if she still fancied him because he thought she was flirting with Drako, but now Drako is kind of out of the way because of him being gay. Anyway, thanks again!
SweetCheeksDracoLuver Aw thanks! I need more idea if this fic is going to actually get an ending . . . and I'm running out of them! Sorry if this chapter took too long, I was lazy and depressed. Heh. Oh and about your ideas, sorry but Voldemort isn't going in this fic, and even if he was, he would just be some strange demented old man (why? Well because then he wouldn't ruin the humour!) and also with the Xmas thing . . . I used that in another fic, and I'd hate to use it again. A thanks for trying though, that was really nice of you!!!
Zinok Lol, I AGREE, FRED IS SOOOO MUCH BETTER!!! Lol, I don't see the difference cus' they are twins and everything, but I just think Fred is better! Thanks for reviewing!! (Oh and so sorry for the long wait, I needed to finish the other chapter for my other fic! And they've actually kissed like two times already, which is kind of surprising for something I wrote)
TOM-FELTON-IS-SEXY Heh, thanks, I know, I made them both sound fit cus' I like it that way! HA! Lol, anyways, thanks for reviewing so much, I appreciate it!! (As you know)
MEME Errr, they're all meatatarians . . . as far as I'm concerned anyway!
Some12 Hehe, hardly anyone saw the gay Drako part coming, I guess it isn't exactly that obvious, lol. That sucks having a teacher hate you, it makes life even harder than it is, and don't you feel like giving them a chill pill? (Or maybe strangling them . . . it might cost less) and lol, I find it so amusing when they got one of those annoying veins in their forehead, luckily, I have a fringe so I don't know if I have one of those, lol. Oh and thank you so much for giving me a tip on an ending.
Michelle Lol, yeah, I guess it was, lol. Oh and I didn't even understand Drako's theory, even if I did write it! Thanks for reviewing, please enjoy the chappie!
Tinuviel Storm Aw, thank you so much! I know this is kind of short and it took extra long to get out, but at least you know I'm not on a break! I don't think anyway. Maybe Drako will enrol at Hogwarts, I'll give it a thought, but right now, I'm just trying to focus on the relationship between Hermione and Draco!
NeLLy22 Sorry if this took too long! Near about three weeks . . . long enough?
IceCristal If you read on, you shall see whether Drako stays gay or not! And well done for rhyming! I would have never done that, not even accidentally on purpose. I'm awful that way, heh.
Enchanted Phyre Thank you for reviewing!! And, wow! Congrats for you!!! I can't believe there is actually a guy out there who looks like Draco (even slightly)!! WOW!! Lol, sorry if this took too long, I know, I know, I'm so lazy! But at least tis out now please review!
Pink-neon But if Drako fancied Hermione than Draco and Hermione would never get together! And yeah, so they're both alike, nevermind, they're still different! Okay, now I'm just confusing, lol, you and me I think, so thanks for reviewing and enjoy!
Callie Thanks for the review, and lol, yes; I did understand what you were saying, even if it was confusing! Lol, I guess its cus' I'm confusing, so confusing people understand confusing people . . . if that made any sense at all.
HappiGoLucki616 Lol, Thanks a lot! I hope this chapter is funny too, I'm not sure. I don't think I actually checked it properly, so it's probably full of errors (not that it isn't even if I have checked it, lol) Thanks again!
ChIcKa Hey sorry! I forgot to email you to tell you that I updated, lol, we both forgot! Nevermind, hopefully it won't happen again (hopefully that is)
NightyGal Okay, here's the update, sorry it took so long, I kind of slacked off a bit, nevermind, the chapters here now! Anyway, thanks for reviewing, even if you didn't before!
Elle-poohbear this fic is rather strange compared to others isn't it? Lol, its just cus' I'm a rather weird person, lol, so it's not surprising that I would write something so 'unique', hehe. Thanks for the review! Much appreciated.
Eventuality what does tt mean? I don't get it. Lol, I don't get a lot of things so it's not surprising. I know fighting is annoying, but when you're not in the fight, it is amusing, no? Lol, anyway, thanks for reviewing! And for what you said in your review!!!
Xmaverickf14x Hehe, thanks! It was a kind of twist isn't it?
Anonymous Lol, glad you think the romance getting in is good, I do too! And I'm always scared someone won't like the chapter, you know the odd little individuals (or gangs, depending on how bad it is exactly) It's always better to be safe than sorry I guess!
Paprika90 Thanks! I like little suggestions and comments and stuff, that's what makes a review a review! (If you just said something like good, bye, that would just annoy me, lol) Anyway, I hope this didn't take too long, and I hope you like it too!!!
Dracoluver2009 Lol, of course it's going to end! I mean, if it didn't end then people would just get annoyed with it, and then I would run out of ideas! It's better to end something with fond memories.
Burgundyred Wow, are you good or what? How did you know? If you don't know what I mean by how did you know, read on and you might get my drift. Thanks for the review, I hope you like this chapter (I really do!) I don't know why but I just feel kind of scared that you won't like it . . .
Aku-neko Lol, I'm glad you think that way! Some people would just shout at me for making Drako gay, but you didn't yay! To find out what happens next, you will have to read on, of course! Lol, and as for Draco and Hermione . . . actually, I'll let you read about that as well!
Lily of the Shadow No, I can't remember whether you reviewed this a while ago or not, I don't remember a lot of things . . . lol, and no, I never knew saying that out loud sounded like pee-pee, but it was interesting, yes!
Spaced Out Spaced Cadet Aw thanks, it's nice to know I make someone laugh! Hehe, and I think Drako confused everyone with his quill thing, oh well, that's what he's made for!
Midnight Solitaire No, I don't watch wwe, what is it? Hold on, is it some type of wrestling? Thanks for reviewing, and suggesting stuff, you were one of the few that did so! Lol, and I will try to extend the length of the fic so that it will end less soon!!! Thanks again!
Angela Hehe, freaky humour? I like that. And I get what you mean about that gay ones are always fit and stuff, maybe your theory is right . . .
Kleebabe Even though Drako is gay, at least he did make Draco jealous before he announced it! Thanks for reviewing again, it meant a lot to me!
UntitledN'stayinthatway HEHEHHE, SUGAR MANIA!!!!!!!!!!
Pyroprincess4rmeverwood Okay, I will try to make the ending longer but I'm not promising anything. All I know is that it will have to end soon, when I don't know, but soon.
Smileyface1314 Thank you for suggesting something! I noted them down, but I'm not promising that I'll use them! (Just in case I actually forget, lol) Thanks again (for reviewing as well as suggesting, hehe)
Cacti-chan Lol, thanks! I'm not that much of a genius cus' most of the ideas used are due to my lovely reviewers who have all given me suggestions! HUGZ
ShortStuff10 I like it when my fics are rather unique, it makes me stand out more, hehe! It's also very nice how you don't mind Drako being gay, my mate who reads this was screaming at me cus' I made him gay and I was like 'what is your problem with gay people?' and that just made her shut up, so I was like VICTORY!! Which just got her winded up again, lol. I'm so good at annoying people . . .
Cereza Well, all good things must come to an end . . . god I sound so old! I love monkeys!! FUNKY MONKEY!!! That's what I say! Lol, BOB SHALL DEAL WITH YOU EVIL REVEIWER!!! MWHAHAHAHHA!!! Cough, okay, now that's over and done with, yes Bob's army can smell of cheese if you like! And lol, you're right, it isn't everyday that you see people eating cheese turtles (although it has been done . . .) Lol, I'd laugh if Harry loved him as well . . . (random but hey!)
Dragon-rose-vine Oh I get it, well the reason why Drako liked Hermione was to get Draco jealous so that it was easier for me to get the romance into the fic. I'm not good with romance and humour in one go, so it might have taken a while if Drako wasn't there . . .
Fairy Lights Hehe, that must have been fun, my friend and me leaned back on a seesaw just to see which one of us was heavier! Oh and I'm sorry that you don't like Drako being gay, read on and see for yourself! Lol, thanks for the suggestions too!!! (May or may not be used, I'm not promising anything)
Tears-That-Fall Sorry that you're not pleased with it, read on and you may feel better (or worse). Just cus' Drako's gay it doesn't mean that Draco is too, he's not an EXACT replica (otherwise he wouldn't be as hot)
Blind-assassin Thanks for reviewing, and for what you said too! I hope you're reading this chappie, and also enjoying it. No point reading something if you don't like it, lol.
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Some of us may complain about the fact that our everyday lives are so boring, we moan and mope about the fact that our school isn't like Hogwarts, full of magic and mystery, and the people who are actually at Hogwarts show off and laugh at how they have it so much better than us normal people, or shall I say, muggles?
Well, for once, Hermione just felt like swapping with one of us normal people (if you can call 'us' normal).
It was midnight on this fine day, okay, night, and Hermione was just lying there, thinking. Drako was sleeping in his own bed for once, and after deciding that he was gay, and then deciding that he wasn't, and then deciding that he liked both men and women, (therefore being a bisexual) he had finally fallen asleep. Drako was more hectic than Draco.
She had never been able to sleep at night now. Perhaps it was just because she was in Draco's bed. Or rather, on the same bed as Draco. God damn him.
She yawned and stood up, grabbing her dressing gown. No one would mind if she just crept out for a walk . . . and even if they did mind, she didn't care, they weren't as important as her.
Hermione walked out of the dark room, and began her way down the long corridor. It was kind of creepy walking down the corridor, after all, wouldn't you be scared too if you were walking down a long corridor that you couldn't see the end of? Suddenly, Hermione tripped over something on the floor . . . something big and . .. lumpy.
"Groan . . ."
Hermione squeaked. Was it some sort of monster that only came out at night so that it could sit in a hallway? Hmm . . . if that was so then the monster must be quite pathetic.
"You just killed my hand."
And as always, Hermione was correct in her guess. It was a monster, yes, a monster by the name of Draco.
"What is he doing sitting on the floor in the middle of a dark corridor at night?" Hermione wondered aloud.
"Well, HE is wondering the same thing," Draco hissed, sounding rather annoyed, "And you know something, I always thought that pathetic person who calls himself me was gay – he was always checking me out."
"Drako isn't gay! He's . . . bisexual."
"I bet he doesn't even know what bisexual means!!!"
Hermione looked as though she was deep in thought, "Good point."
She sat down next to Draco, and sighed. How come she hadn't noticed that Draco wasn't asleep next to her? Or why hadn't she heard him creep out of the room? Well, Drako was snoring rather loudly . . . and she was kind of afraid that if she looked at Draco sleeping again, she would definitely do something she regretted . . basically cut some of his hair off and keep it as a souvenir.
"So, why can't you sleep?"
Hermione looked at Draco. He had asked her a question. He had started a conversation. WOW.
"Why can't YOU sleep?"
"No, I asked you first."
"Well, I asked you second."
"That's not the point, answer me."
"No, you answer me first."
Hermione looked at Draco feeling amused. He was getting stressed – again. Well, it wasn't her fault he was so easily fired up, or her fault that she enjoyed seeing him get angry, and it was definitely not her fault that he looked slightly like a penguin when he shook with anger, hehe.
"Can I ask you a question?" Hermione asked slowly.
"You just did."
"Shut up, that's not the point!" Hermione glared at him. Now, it wasn't Draco's fault that Hermione looked like a monkey when she got annoyed. He swore, it was just the shape of her ears . . .
"I was just wondering about you said today . . ." Hermione tried to ask without sounding stupid . . .
"I said a lot of things today."
And obviously, Draco was not making things any easier for her.
"You know, what you said right before Drako announced that he was gay – I mean right before he said he fancied Harry."
Draco smirked, "If anyone says that they fancy Potter, they HAVE to be gay."
"You're getting away from the subject!!! I mean what you said when I said that you would never go out with me, and then you said that you never said you wouldn't go out with me!! OR ARE YOU TOO OLD TO REMEMBER????"
"OH NOT THIS AGAIN!!!! Hermione, you know very well how old I am!!!!"
"AS A MATTER OF FACT I DON'T!!!!"
"WELL AS A MATTER OF FACT IF WE KEEP SHOUTING SOMEONE WILL HEAR US!!!!!!!!!"
Draco's eyes were bulging, and Hermione's head was throbbing. So he had a point, but she wasn't going to admit to it.
"You're just steering away from what I was talking about," Hermione said, stubbornly, "What did you mean when you said that?"
"I mean exactly what I said! I never did say I wouldn't go out with you!!!"
"Then are you saying you would?????"
"I don't know!!!" Draco sighed, "YOU NEVER DID ASK ME."
"Well its not like you'd let me ask."
"What do you mean? I am standing right here, listening to you."
Hermione looked at him. He did look kind of serious . . . kind of, that is. Slowly, she took a deep breath – was this the day? The day when Hermione Granger would finally get a decent looking boyfriend for once?
"Will you go out with –
"Oh look at the time, I need my beauty sleep."
And with that, Draco scurried off towards the room, ready for his 'beauty sleep'. Hermione looked at the place where he had been just a few minutes ago. She would have never thought it – Draco Malfoy, saying he needed to become more beautiful . . .
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Soon it was the next morning, and Hermione was absolutely exhausted. She hadn't been able to get any sleep, she hadn't been able to ask Draco out, and she hadn't even been able to snore. How pathetic.
Draco had said, of course, that he had actually never said the words 'I refuse to go out with you', meaning that he might actually date her, but he definitely wasn't going to make it an easy job for her. Damn him.
She wondered how she could ask him. Obviously, it wasn't like he would actually stay to hear her talk, and he would just run everytime she was near – just in case. So, how was he going to know what she wanted to say, AND answer her as well? Well, naturally, he was born a Malfoy, meaning there was nothing more to him than his pride. Or maybe his money.
Hermione grinned. Slowly, she had a nice little plan forming in her mind. Sure, she was going to have to embarrass herself in the progress, but she had already been embarrassed this year, and she was positive that it couldn't get any worse (let's name some embarrassing situations: her growing a beard, her voice breaking, her very presence there was an embarrassment . . .)
She rubbed her hands together mischievously, and then laughed a maniac kind of laugh. Oh yes, she was good, very good.
"HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHA –
"Shut up," Drako mumbled, taking the pillow that he has just thrown at Hermione out of her mouth, "Its nice that you're a morning person Hermione . . . IT'S A SHAME I'M NOT."
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Getting dressed had to be one of the hardest things she had ever done. Of course, Hermione Granger, being the near perfect person that she was, would have done many extraordinary things that normal, average, witches and wizards her age couldn't do, but, today, she had really outsmarted herself. She couldn't even FIND her clothes let alone put them on.
"DRACO!!! DRAKO!!! YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO –
There was no point asking where her clothes were, for right at that precise moment, Drako stepped into the bathroom wearing Hermione's robes.
"How do I look?" He pouted, trying to make himself look sexy (someone needed to tell him that he didn't even need to pout to do that, hehe)
"Great, now give me my clothes back."
"Hold on, I know something even better!!!" Drako pulled out Hermione's wand (no wonder Hermione lost everything . . . come to think of it, how did Drako scab all her stuff so quickly? It was really kind of creepy) He tapped the wand twice on his head, and his nicely spiked platinum blonde hair fell down into blonde curls.
"Drako, its nice that you like women so much you want to be one, but please, just give me my clothes back."
"I will . . . eventually! But I just thought it would be fun to dress up like one, I mean, I envy the population of growing girls in this world!!!" Drako said indignantly, "All they have to do is look down at their chests and there the boobies are!! Right in your face!! You can play with them at any time – even play with TWO of them at the same time!!! Boys have to work hard just to see them!!!!"
Hermione stared at him. Boy, he was REALLY starting to worry her now.
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Breakfast time. In the same classroom, as always (well, not always, but you get what I mean). Hermione looked around. It wasn't until now that she had actually realised how many people were in Hogwarts seventh year. It was beginning to get her rather paranoid.
"Pass the bacon."
Hermione looked towards the speaker. It was Draco, yawning and trying not to mess up his perfectly stiff hair - oh how very typical. Maybe if she tried one last time, it might just work . . .
"Draco . . ." Hermione slowly said, letting his name roll off her tongue as she passed him the tray of bacon sandwiches, "Will you go o –
"Here you can have one too!!!!" Draco hurriedly stuffed about ten sandwiches into her mouth before she gabbled another word.
She coughed, and spluttered until all the bacon sandwiches had gone from her mouth and onto her plate. She looked at it in disgust. Even RON wouldn't want to eat that anymore . . .
"See, I never knew you had that big a gob," Draco said, munching happily on a sandwich, "You should thank me for interrupting whatever was so important you had to say it so early in the morning."
She growled at him. Literally, growled, and grumbled and growled (again) as she clambered onto the table, kicking random objects of no importance off. She would have to embarrass her, he had given her no other option.
"Hey!! I was watching that fly swim around in my juice!!!" Drako exclaimed, pouting angrily at Hermione (luckily, he was now dressed normally . . . well, if you count wearing clothes that Snape would wear 'normal' . . .)
"LISTEN UP EVERYONE!!!!!!" Hermione shouted, waving her arms in the air like any insane person would do, "I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE!!!!!!! AND ALL MUST LISTEN!!!!" She continued to shout, as Draco looked up, horrified, then began to climb out of his seat, and creep towards the door . . .
"AND THAT INCLUDES YOU DRACO MALFOY – THE BIGGER ONE!!!!!!!"
Draco stopped, his eyes shut tight, and squeaked.
"I, HERMIONE GRANGER, ASK, YOU, YES, YOU, DRACO MALFOY, TO GO OUT WITH ME!!!!!!!!! AND WE HAVE ALL THE PEOPLE HERE AS WITNESSES!!!!!!" Somehow, Hermione had changed her wand into a microphone. How intelligent. Draco didn't turn around, instead, he found it much more convenient to run.
"I DIDN'T HEAR YOU!!!!" He shouted as he bolted towards the nearest exit.
"WHAT ARE YOU, DEAF??? I SHOUTED IT INTO A BLIMMIN' MICROPHONE!!!!!!!!!"
"ITS NOT A MICROPHONE, IT'S A WAND!!!" Draco screamed, turning around and staring indignantly at Hermione, using his finger to indicate the word 'wand'.
"SAME DIFFERENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW ANSWER THE GOD DAMN QUESTION!!!!!!!"
"I DIDN'T HEAR IT!!!"
"WELL I'LL SAY IT AGAIN THEN –
"NO DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"AND WHY NOT????????"
"CUS'."
"CUS' WHAT, ARE YOU EMBARRASSED????"
"WELL DUH, HAVING A PERSON SHOUTING THROUGH A WAND AND ASKING ME OUT –
"HA!!!!!!! SO YOU DID HEAR THE QUESTION!!!!!"
Draco sighed at his own stupidity. Damn himself, he always had to muck something up, just when he didn't want to. Curse it . . .
Suddenly, he felt a pat on his shoulder. Draco turned to find that it was, in fact, himself – Drako Malfoy.
"Well mate, you got to give her an answer . . . well, at least before Norman the fly begins to attack her for making him nearly drown in my juice. . ."
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Okay, so I finally finished this chapter after donkey's years. Yes, I know, it took so long, and its not even very long, well, I'd appreciate it if you just didn't mention that in your review, because, well, I hate being put under pressure, and it will just make me feel bad, and if I feel bad, it'll just take longer for me to write! HA! Lol, okay, I'll quit with the ranting now, tata people.
PS. OMG! I just found out, you know Harry Potter three is coming out on June for people in America? Well, I got confused and thought that English dates were the same as America, when in fact, we get it a few days earlier! MAY 31ST HERE I COME!