A/N: Welcome back! Ok, on with the Drunk Search! Have fun and review!
"I believe the struggle for financial freedom isn't fair! I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires!" Faramir sings.
"SHUT UP! You've been singing the same song over and over!" Boromir whines.
"Look! It's Sam!"
"Sam!"
"Hi. I'm here to help." Sam says.
"Sam!"
"Sam!"
"I think you've all said my name by now."
"Look! A piece of cloth!" Denethor says.
"Uh, Denethor, that's from your robe." Norrington says.
"Shut up."
"Sorry."
"Look! A footprint!"
"SHOOT HIM!!"
"Look! A piece of hair!"
"HANG HIM!!"
"Look! A---"
Denethor is muffled and his head is knocked against a wall, rendering him unconscious.
"Leave him." Sam says.
"Ok!"
And off they march, into the bar.
"I need.../hic/ 20 more ales." Pip says.
"Make it.../hic/ 30." Merry adds.
"40 /hic/ savvy?"
And the bar tender returns with 90 more ales...
Suddenly, Faramir, Boromir, Norrington, Bonden, Sam, and Legolas, who was there all along, pop into the bar!
"WILL!" Jack says.
At the same time, Merry says, "PARIS!!"
And Pip says, "LEGOLAS!" At the same time.
"Will Turner!" Norrington says, looking at Legolas.
"Hmm?" Legolas says, passing out.
"I think this drunk search is very boring and we ought to stop." Barret says.
"Fine." And they all walk out, leaving Merry, Pippin, and Jack to drink the 90 ales ("That's 30 each, mates.") and to finish what they set out to do: drink the whole town dry.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
"We're on a ranch?"
"No idea."
"Where's Denethor?"
"Somewhere in the city."
"Shouldn't we get him?"
"Forget it, Legolas."
"Sorry."
"Ok, now what? I'm not in the singing mood..."
"Nor am I, so let's just sleep!"
"All you want to do is sleep!"
"Sleep is good!"
"So? That's all you do!"
"This is boring. Let's sleep or something."
"Aha! The people are with me, Faramir!"
"Oh, shut up!"
"Whatever, loser!"
"PHONY!!"
"That made no sense."
"Loser!"
"Idiot!"
"CHEATER!!"
"SLACKER!!"
"SHUT UP!!"
"Sorry, Sam."
"Can we all just relax and eat pizza?"
"What is it with you and pizza, Boromir?"
"It's good!"
"Oh, sure."
"You know what, Faramir? You're a poser!"
"Stupid loser!"
"Poser!"
"Wanna-be!"
"Poser poser poser!"
"Loser loser loser!"
"POSER!!!"
"LOSER!!!"
"SHUT UP!!"
"Sorry, Legolas."
"Look, you are all giving me a migraine and I am sick and tired! Can't we all get along? Do you want to die so early in life?" Legolas asks.
"No, Legolas."
"POSER!!!!!!"
"SHUT UP BOROMIR!!!!"
"Sorry, you bunch of losers! I'm cool and sexy and better than you!" Boromir says.
"Shut up, loser." Faramir says.
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"POSER!!"
"LOSER!!"
"POSER!!!"
"LOSER!!!"
"POSER!!!!"
"LOSER!!!!"
This argument was getting rather old, so after deleting about 2 more pages of Faramir and Boromir yelling at each other, the story continued...
"Ok, now that we're past all that, I'm going for pasta. What do you all want?" Sam asks.
"Er...how about some angel hair?" Boromir asks.
"Ravioli with cheese." Faramir says.
"Penne with marinara." Legolas says.
"Lasagna." Barret says.
"Gnocchi with pesto." Norrington says.
"Spaghetti-o's!" Sam says, happily walking out and getting the pasta...
Denethor, who was rendered unconscious, has finally woken up and is muttering about Chicken with Cheese and tomatoes.
"Hmm...I'll just go to the local Pasta Bowl..." Denethor says, walking in right behind Sam.
Sam places the order and turns, only to see...Denethor!!
"EEP!!" Sam screams, as Denethor screams "Aii!" at the same time.
"Heh, hey, Denethor." Sam says nervously.
"Are you getting the Chicken with Cheese and Tomatoes?" Denethor asks.
"No." Sam says.
"WHAT?? THAT'S THE BEST THING THIS PLACE HAS!!" Denethor screams.
"AIII!" Sam yells, grabbing the pasta and running outside.
Sam runs like a bullet back to the palace and charges inside.
"You're dads crazy!"
"Yeah. So?" Boromir says.
"Tell me something I don't know." Faramir says.
"Isn't anything interesting gonna happen?" Legolas asks, filing his nails.
"I should think that after about 14 chapters of craziness this story would have a winner." Norrington says.
And so it was decided that the next chapter would declare the winner...
A/N: Ok, this is the second to the last chapter! Review because the wackiness will soon end. Sorry, but all good things must come to an end. To console yourselves, go listen to 'Into the West' on the RotK soundtrack.