Author's Notes: I got a shot of inspiration after listening to the radio. Just pray it stays with me. Enjoy!
She walked towards the ambulance bay doors, straightening out her back. Her neck was stiff from the bed she had just woken from. Three hours was definitely not enough to keep her awake for the last eight hours of her shift. She pulled on the bottom of her lab coat before walking through the door into the bitter cold. It was only eleven at night, but it was probably below zero. She wrapped her arms tighter around her body. She saw Carter leaning against a post, starring at the bay. She moved closer to him. He made a face at her and wanted to laugh. He was wearing a coat. She hadn't expected it to be that cold. When she had walked in that morning, she had a light sweater on, coat draped over her arm. She stood a few inches away from him, watching her warm breath appear before her eyes.
"What do we have?"
They heard the sirens echo through the night air, and they started to migrate toward the doors.
"Female, 29 years old. Overdose. Attempted suicide."
He rattled off the words like they were simply facts. That they didn't pertain to a living, breathing person. She worried about him sometimes. He never got the chance to grieve for his son and Kem. Sometimes he was full of energy and enthusiasm. Other times he looked about ready to pass out. Every time she'd tried to talk to him, he would push her away. She finally realized what it felt like to be on the other side of the relationship they had once had. She had never really let him in. She thought she was protecting him from suffering like she was. Now, she knew she had done the wrong thing. They could have worked through everything together, instead of a tug of war. It was too late now. She couldn't go back to the way it was, and truthfully, she didn't care to. She was finally on her own and free.
The bright red lights showered the bay, and her blood pressure began to rise. This was the thrill of it all, the one thing that made it all worth it. Sometimes it didn't always end the way they hoped, but knowing she had the power. The gurney descended from the ambulance and she was quickly rushed inside. Vitals were rattled off around her, but she didn't pay too much attention. She needed to see everything for herself. The situation could change in an instant. Carter followed by her side. He was the only one who wouldn't question any of her choices. He would watch her handle it herself, and he would jump in when she needed him. It was strange at first for both of them, and not just for Carter. Susan was horrible about it. She kept on expecting her to do the nurses' duties. It took some time, but four and a half months later, everything was settling in.
She watched the heartbeat on the monitor. She called out for a milligram of epi, IV push. She grabbed the pattles, charging at 200. Clear. The woman's body shook underneath her, the heartbeat stabilizing on the monitor. She called for a charcoal tube, and it was instantly delivered to her outstretched hand. She expertly slid it through the chords, and down into the stomach. As soon as it was taped into place, she began to push the charcoal. It spread out in the stomach, soaking up all the chemicals, and soon they would be vacuumed out. It wasn't a particularly pleasant procedure, but it had to be done. She handed the tube to her fourth year medical student who was standing next to her. She signed the chart, and handed it to Carter for his observations. His signature soon graced the page as well. She put it into the slot on the edge of the bed, and pushed through the doors.
She felt the exhaustion fall down on her, like a downpour from the sky. She walked toward the desk, hoping to catch the paramedics and ask them about next of kin. She saw Julio leaning against the desk, flirting with the new desk clerk. She walked up to him and he suddenly straightened up, but the blush on his checks was still forming.
"Was there anyone with her when you picked her up?"
"Yeah, we put them in chairs."
She cut off Julio's words as she walked toward the doors and into the waiting area. It was strangely empty, especially for that time of year. She saw an old drunk sleeping as he held his bleeding hand wrapped in an old rag. He wouldn't be admitted til he was sober. He saw an elderly couple sitting in the corner, talking in hushed voices. She started over there, until she noticed they didn't have the impending bad news look on their face. They were actually calm and cheerful. She scanned the room again and saw a little boy and girl sitting in the corner. They were probably brother and sister, since they shared the same light blonde hair, full lips, and contoured nose. He couldn't be more than five or six. His sister was even younger, maybe two or three at most. He barely could hold her as she slept in his arms, but he protected her nonetheless. She walked up to him and the boy suddenly jerked up. She knelt down, remembering herself in the same position. The only thing that made her life a little easier was the doctors and nurses that were nice to them.
"Hi, I'm Dr. Lockhart. Was your mom brought in today?"
The little boy nodded his head and started to wake the sleeping child up. She nodded her head no and reached over to take his sister out of his hands. He reluctantly gave her up. She made way under the little girl's arms, wanting to pull her up and hold her against her shoulder. She started to stand, the little girl still sleeping, when suddenly she woke, screaming out loud in pain. Her huge grey eyes filled with tears and she pulled her close. The boy was on his feet, ready to defend her. She pulled her up into her arms, that there was no stress or pressure on her arms or rib cage. The little girl clung onto her with her whole life. Something had to be wrong. She pulled up the little girl's shirt, but she didn't see pale peach flesh. She saw piercing ribs, and patters of brown fading bruises, fresh blue and purple bruises, and fading scars. She saw the little boy cringe at the sight. She only wondered what he looked like. She wanted to run her hand up and down the girl's back to comfort her, but she was afraid of hurting her. Instead she wrapped one arm around her bottom, securing her in her arms. She stretched out her other hand to the boy, and he took it cautiously. They both needed a physical, they could have internal damage, if not broken bones. As she walked toward the exam room, she caught the reflection of herself in the mirror. Her eyes glistened from the forming tears.