Chapter Four
Through out the funeral Willow felt like she was walking in a dejavu. After all it wasn't the first time she arranged or attended Buffy's funeral. She walked inside the house with the same solemn face that she carried through out the first funeral. She went to the
kitchen and stared outside trying to tell herself that Buffy was gone and nothing could bring her back. Of course she was telling herself that the first time too but she was able to bring her friend back. She wondered if she could do the same now, or were the same
days repeating it. It wasn't as though she hadn't tried. Tears had stormed out from the moment she had opened the bedroom door to find the Buffy's still body. It hadn't soothed her or even let out the void in her heart.
"Are you all right?" Tara asked from the doorway. "Yes. I mean no. I don't know how to answer that. I mean if I say yes, then it doesn't make sense. How can I be all right on the day I buried my best friend? Right. But how can I say no. No one ever answers no a question like that. It is always assumed that you should answer yes." Willow couldn't stop the words. "No, sweetie. You can answer no. Its about how you feel." Tara approached the woman who once meant everything to her. "Well then no. I definitely don't feel all right." Willow said and turned back to watching out the window. "I am just telling myself to believe that she is actually gone."
"I know it is hard to believe it. After all we did bring her back from the dead. But not this time." Tara said as she took out a coke from the fridge and popped it open for Willow. She had always liked doing things for her.
"I know. I have to make a confession. When I saw her lying dead, I summoned the dark force to bring her back." She said with her head hung low. Willow knew that Tara never approved of her using the dark magic.
"I know. I also know that the only reason they refused is because this time Buffy died with human device and not mystical ways." Tara handed her ashamed ex girlfriend the drink and walked behind her to give her a comforting hug.
"It's ok sweetie. Please don't feel ashamed. Desperate situation calls for desperate measures. And I was with you when we brought Buffy back to life the first time remember."
The last thing she wanted was for Willow to use magic secretly. Whenever Willow did
that she had ended up in trouble. Willow appreciated Tara's hug and captured her hands so as she could fully lean on the taller woman. She had missed that a lot. She had missed having one person with whom she didn't have to pretend to be strong. She could just lean and show her weakness and never fear that she would be judged or laughed at. But she had lost Tara. Not
because she didn't love her, but she had lost her because she did love her. She had thought that letting her go was the best thing she could have done for both of them. But right now she wondered how she could have ever come to that conclusion, when the safest place
for her was still within her arms. She turned her face slightly just to find herself staring into the
ecstasy of the Tara's eyes. For a moment they both lost their trance and were only a hairline away from recapturing what was lost with their lips when Willow blinked and remembered the present.
"No, we never got a chance. Not with everything happening." Tara realized that even though this time the boundary wasn't crossed physically both of them had once again had lost themselves to the past. "You must really hate the sisters."
"No, I don't. Not all of them. I mean even though this might be the most wrong thing to say especially on this day but I understand why they did what they did. I mean I personally would have never done what they did but that is because Buffy was my best friend. But, even if Buffy was in their position I think she would have done the same. So no I don't hate them. I hate what has happened, but not them. I mean I don't like them at least not all of them either. I mean I don't like Phoebe, but you know the reason is because she hurt you not because of now."
"Faith certainly doesn't agree with you. I found her almost killing Piper this morning." Tara told Willow about the morning's incident.
Before Willow could say anything she saw Faith walking in. The look
in Faith's eyes made Willow scared a little.
"There you are." Faith said glaring at Tara. "I need a little ride
Ms. White-lighter."
"Faith, I am not going to take you anywhere, not till you calm
down." Tara tried to look at Faith when she answered but was too
intimidated to do so.
Faith's hand was in Willow's throat lifting her in the air, when she
turned to Tara this time. "I believe you know the destination."
Tara debated talking Faith out of hurting Willow but she knew that
with the state Faith was in, words would do no good, so instead she
complied.
-------------------------------------------------------------"Ok I am not one of those back seat drivers, but don't you think we
have been on the road for a little too long. Are we lost?" Fred
asked Wesley as she looked at her watch for the 100th time.
"I hate to agree with you but we just might be lost. But I swear I
knew the way." Wesley confessed.
"May be we should stop and ask for direction." Fred suggested.
"I agree, but where?" He asked signaling her to look out the window.
They were traveling on the road all right but it seemed to be empty.
Who could believe that the San Francisco highway would be empty but
it sure was.
"Well then just take the first exit." Fred said optimistically.
"I have been waiting for an exit for the last 45 minute."
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Just after the three women materialized in front of the Halliwell
manor, Faith let go of the red head. "Thanks." She said as she
strode towards the house.
"Faith wait." Tara screamed but was too late to stop the jolt of
lighting to thrown Faith away.
"There is a barrier around the house that's why I wasn't able to orb
you nearer." Tara finished as she ran to the slayer who was on the
road.
"Damn those witches." She muttered and walked passed the worried
women to the spot where she had got shocked. She stretched her hand
and tried to slowly get past the barrier but the shock she was
enduring was visible even to the human eye.
"Faith please stop." Willow pleaded as she watched the slayer's face
burn with pain. "You can't get past it. They have put a spell."
Faith ignored her and put her both hands inside the electric field.
"Faith please stop." Tara tried to pull her from behind. Faith took
her hand out for a second and pushed the blond away and put her hand
back in.
"Faith please stop. Stop hurting yourself. It'll kill you." Willow
begged from a safe distance.
"I need to go inside." Faith screamed in pain but not in defeat.
"We will find a way to counter the spell. Don't kill yourself." Tara
said firmly.
Just then Faith pulled her hands out. They were burning. Willow
quickly rushed to her aid and stomped the fire out. "Why should I
trust you? You were unwillingly to even bring me here?" Faith
questioned the white-lighter.
"Because you are still our friend. We just buried one friend today,
I am unwillingly to loose another." Tara said as she got ready to
heal the slayers hand.
"No, don't." Faith pulled her hands away. "It'll heal itself. I like
the sensation anyway. You work on a way to get me inside. I'll be at
my place." Faith said as she got up and left.
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"What? What are you wowing about now?" Piper asked.
"Look at all this spell. It seems like we were really on a roll
here. We have written so many spells and very powerful ones too.
Making people lost spell, a really powerful barrier spell, not to
mention …."
"We must have been fighting something really big." Phoebe said
uncaringly.
"Or something human. Because all these spells are for humans. I mean
we even have one to diffuse a bomb." Paige thought aloud.
"See I told you Leo had something to do with our memory." Piper said
dropping an old book on the table. "Look at the ingredients used for
that memory spell. See this ximmer-extract. It's a powder used by
white-lighters to erase people's memory. They use it when there is a
fear of magic being exposed."
"Yes, even if Leo did give us the powder, we are the one who wrote
the spell. And a really good one too. Look at how specific this
spell is. It's not to erase memory of a specific time period but to
erase memory regarding a specific series of event." Paige read on.
"But Leo is not the only white-lighter we know." Phoebe said as the
thought just occurred to her.
"Tara?" Piper asked skeptically.
"I know as far as we know we haven't seen her because of her new
charge. But that may not be true in the events that happened that we
don't remember. After all she was here this morning to orb Faith
away. So, she might be involved." Phoebe explained her thought.
"You think if we call her she might hear us." Paige asked unsure of
the whole idea.
"It's worth a try. Especially when Leo is not answering." Piper
answered.
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"If this is the same protection spell that you think it is, then I
don't see anyway for us to break through it." Willow said as she
threw some stones inside the barrier.
"I know, it's next to impossible, but I had to say something. I
couldn't see Faith hurting herself." Tara replied.
"I can imagine what Faith must have done this morning, for sisters
to use such powerful spell."
"They must have known that at some point we would help her."
"They got that right. Tara you think Faith would ever calm down?"
"I don't know. I knew it would hurt her. I think even they were
prepared for that but no one was prepared for Buffy's death. May be
that's why even they are trying to buy some time to see if Faith
does calm down." Tara said as she touched the barrier and was
shocked with a small voltage of electricity.
Both the witches tried few spells on the barrier even though they
were both sure that it would not work. When they were ready to give
up pretending that they were trying, Tara squeezed Willow's hand and
looked up.
"What? What happened?" Willow asked shocked.
"They are calling me." Tara answered.
"The elders?" Willow asked again.
"No, the sisters." Tara answered surprising both of them.
"How can they be calling you, when they have put on this barrier
that you can't orb into." Willow asked the obvious, "Unless they are
not the ones who used the spell. And they are trapped in there like
we are trapped out."
"Exactly. Something is not right here." Tara said as she threw
another spell in vain. " I need to let them know that I have heard
them."
"But how?"
Willow decided to try one more spell before giving up. She was
making a circle and Tara was looking for appropriately shaped stone
for their spell when Willows cell phone rang. It was Faith who
wanted to know if they had managed to get through. After conveying
the negative answer as positively as she could she hung up and went
to where Tara was standing.
"You think the spell blocks out the modern technology signals?" She
asked the blond waving the cell phone.
"It's worth a try huh." Tara said as she took the phone from her
former girlfriend.
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"I can't believe this. Even Tara is not answering. What is this?
Aren't we witches anymore. Why don't white-lighters come for us?
For all they know, we might be dying out here." Piper yelled at the
ceiling.
"Yeah but if we are hurt they can sense that remember." Phoebe tried
to calm her sister who was getting more agitated by the minute, in
fact they all were.
"What's that?" Piper asked startled by the ringing sound.
"That's the phone. I'll get it." Paige said as she went downstairs.
After a little while, the two sisters decided to head downstairs too
carrying the book with them. Just as they walked down the stairs,
they were met by their youngest sibling.
"You won't believe this."
"I don't believe any of this." Phoebe mocked.
"Tara and Willow are right outside the house. They can't come in
because apparently we cast the protection spell that is keeping them
or anyone out."
"We haven't cast any spell."
"Tara insists that it is our spell."
"Well then un-cast it and let them in." Piper said as she opened the
door and walked outside. Her sisters followed.
"Hey!" Willow said as she saw the sisters come outside.
"We didn't do this." Piper said as she walked closer.
"Don't step any closer, you'll get a shock." Tara warned as saw that
Piper wasn't slowing down.
"If this is our spell how can we get shocked by it." Paige asked
surprised by Tara's warning.
"Because that's the way you all wrote the spell. No one in or out.
So, could you take it off now?" Willow requested.
"How do we do that exactly?" Phoebe asked, seeing that they knew
more about their own spell than they did.
"What do you mean by how? Just un cast the spell like the last time."
Tara answered.
"What last time?" Piper asked forgetting for a second that they were
the ones who had lost their memory.
"Wait. What is happening here?" Tara asked finally realizing that
the sisters were not how she expected them to be.
"Long story short. According to the Wesley guy, we have lost a
little more than a year's worth of memory. So, you need to help us
out here if you want to refer to events that apparently happened but
we don't remember." Paige abbreviated.
"Lost your memory! That's why you needed the ximmer-extract." Tara
tried to put together the pieces in her head.
"Did you give it to us?" Phoebe asked wanting to know what Tara had
figured out.
"No, it's against the rules. But Leo did." Tara replied defensively.
"So you guys don't remember anything?" Willow wanted to clarify for
her own peace of mind.
"Nope nothing. It was a shock to us to find out that we killed
Buffy." Paige relayed their reaction.
"You guys didn't kill Buffy." Tara corrected. "Wait a minute, you
think the reason Faith attacked you is because of Buffy."
"Well, she said we killed her baby and Buffy is dead. So if we
didn't kill Buffy who killed her? And who did we kill?" Phoebe asked
making her own assessments.
"Buffy committed suicide this morning. Faith didn't even know she
was dead till I orbed her back to Sunnydale." Tara answered softly.
"We killed her baby." Piper grabbed her chest feeling the pain
physically.
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Faith waited in her apartment with her eyes closed. She didn't want
to open her eyes. She didn't want to look at the room that was
painted pink with tweedy birds in the ceiling. "Oh! Babies love
birds." Piper had said and made her put so many of them all over the
place. Even though Faith had made her protest known she had
complied. How could she say no to anything that the baby wanted?
She got up with a start and walked to the other side of the room.
Her eyes were still closed as she knelt down and started rocking the
empty crib.