Cosmos: You Fight Like a Guy

Rating: PG-13

Author's Notes: I wanted to get rid of the negative energy that has been plaguing me, thus this was the result. I had to write something weird and much more of a comedy than a drama or romance. I'm stupid. Damn me. NO FLAMES because people who don't put this up (the "No flames" warning) often get flamed and I don't want to get flamed because I'm just weird, not evil. O.o;

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"Listen to me, training isn't about proving you're a ninja, it's about being one."

I was surprised; Azuma-sensei was serious today. Well, that's probably because Kurenai-sensei was beside him today.

Aiyyaa…a man in love is vulnerable to one single mistake.

I giggle a bit behind Shikamaru's back, he hushes me with an annoying glare. I stomped as hard as I could on his foot, he yelps and clings to an innocently eating Chouji.

It was too funny to watch.

"Kurenai-sensei was kind enough to allow her students to spar with us."

Azuma-sensei coughed a bit, his face obviously burning red. Kurenai-sensei smiled at him, later turning to us.

"Do your best, this may be the best way you can evaluate your skill level."

"YOU MAY BEGIN."

My teacher's voice boomed out so loud I could've sworn a bear would mistake it for a mating call.

I shuddered at the very thought of "skill level"; oh please…oh please don't make me look like an idiot, make me look like a "glorified" idiot when I lose. What I mean is…don't make me look so…goddamn helpless.

Kiba (with Akamaru sitting atop his head) stretched out his arms, bending his neck at least three times (some sucky warm-up if you ask me) before smirking at Shikamaru.

"I get to fight with someone who passed the preliminaries…Cool."

Hinata bowed ever so politely before Chouji, the poor guy even dropped the large bag of potato chips since he was incredibly shocked.

Who was I supposed to be fighting against?

Inuzuka Kiba, Hyuuga Hinata and….

…Aburame Shino.

No, wait…you've got to be kidding! ABURAME SHINO?!

There stood before me stood one of the most enigmatic (not to mention freaky) Konoha genins. He pushed up his tinted shades, walking towards me.

I would've climbed up a tree if it didn't make me look like an idiot. But it will.

Never mind.

"Yamanaka Ino, do you want to start with Basic Taijutsu?"

My lips quivered, Basic Taijutsu?! I knew it! This guy was no different from everyone else. He treated me like a weakling! I wish I could strangle him right now, but that wouldn't leave a good impression, now would it?  

"I can do Basic Taijutsu pretty well. Why don't we just do what the others are doing?"

Ino-chan is so great! I have controlled myself from slapping some sense into him.

I pointed to Kiba and Shikamaru, who both seemed preoccupied with insulting each other before actually resolving and begin with the actual training. Spitting out the most vulgar of words I have ever heard. Some I haven't even heard before. Hmm…exotic, these two.

I saw  Chouji and Hinata sitting in the green grass, contemplating about why should they even bother training. I pretty sure they were (subtly) complaining about fighting not being a part of their lifestyle. Hmm…queer, these two.

Shino raised an eyebrow, so I could at least know what he's thinking despite the fact that those shades perfectly conceal those eyes.

"But I'm good at Basic Taijutsu! I've always excelled at Taijutsu!"

I whined waving my fist, shouting to the deaf ears of heaven. You bring me no justice! I wave my fist again.

Shino lets out a heavy sigh to make sure I heard it. He rolls up his sleeves to completely get my attention.

"If you really believe that, then I'll let you fight me seriously. "

The blood inside me boiled, being a girl was no exception to feel the need for an actual challenge like this.

"You don't have to go easy on me, Shino-kun …"

I smirk.

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"My….back….my back!!!"

"Shino whipped you good, didn't he?"

I glared at that stupid Shikamaru. Damn him, why must he always disgrace me and my already deflated ego? Azuma-sensei clears his throat and looks at me.

"That what you get when you're too confident."

I frown slumping my back against a nice…firm…Shino?!

"You're heavy, Yamanaka-san."

"Shino?! What re you doing here?!!! You're supposed to be—"

"Going home."

Shikamaru ended.

I moved away as far as possible, Shino wasn't exactly cold, nor was he friendly; he was just weird. And adding to the fact that I have lost against him, which only adds to my embarrassment…I have no plans of associating with him more than I have. Hmph.

He grabs my arm and looks at me—dead serious, those eyebrows say so. Not the eyes, the eyebrows. Which is weird, but it makes sense. No, I do not see any fireworks nor do I see bubbles. I see a freaky guy bruising my arm with his grip. Which is…VERY PAINFUL.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to go overboard with it. It's just that you…fight like a guy."

"What did you say?"

Flames of hell will burn Aburame.

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Author's Notes: There's actual substance in this chapter, that is probably only obvious to me.  Okay! Hopefully this will make more sense in the next chapter..;