Chapter 3

"It is done."

"What is done? You didn't kill him, did you?" A long pause followed.

"I had to."

"He is dead?"

"I DID WHAT I HAD TO!"

"Forgive me, Haruko."

"There is nothing to forgive. He got what he deserved, that is all."

"You know, I've reminded you many times, demons are not to be trusted."

"Well . . . I guess I am a slow learner."

"It isn't your fault, Haruko. You know that, don't you?"

FLASH

There is a sound of swords clashing. The color of blood becomes visible. Then a faint voice is heard.

"Haruko?"

Botan jerked awake, her face covered in sweat, and her heart pounding hard enough to make her chest hurt. She sat there for several minutes, calming herself down. She looked out the window. The sun was setting.

'Haruko,' she thought, 'Who is Haruko? That name . . . it's so familiar.' Botan couldn't wait any longer. She got out of bed to search for Genkai, hoping that she would at least know something that could help her find answers about her blackouts.

Botan found Genkai sitting alone in a room, drinking tea.

"Excuse me, Genkai. May I join you for a minute?"

"Certainly, Botan.

Botan sat across from where she sat. Suddenly Botan wasn't sure how to approach the subject. She stared in deep thought, trying to figure out what to say. They both sat in silence until Genkai finally spoke up.

"You have a question for me, Botan?"

'Of course,' Botan thought, 'Genkai is always on top of things. Oh well, I might as well just ask her and get it over with.'

"Ah, yes Genkai. I . . . uh . . . I have been having these blackouts, and I don't think it's anything serious, of course, I was just wondering, you know, why I was getting them, where they are coming from . . ." Botan spoke so fast, Genkai could hardly understand her.

"Well, Botan, I am not sure what it could mean. You should talk to Koenma about it."

"No, I don't want to bother Lord Koenma with something as unimportant as this." Botan let out her fake laugh as Genkai looked at her and asked . . .

"If it is not important, Botan, why are you asking me?"

Botan put on her cat face.

"Oh . . . I am just curious."

"Hm . . .well, explain the blackouts to me."

Botan took about ten minutes to explain to Genkai when the blackouts started, how they got worse, and how she was currently hearing voices.

"Well, Botan, it sounds like repressed memories to me."

"Repressed memories?"

"Yes, maybe a past life of yours, or something like that."

"So . . . it really isn't that serious."

"I am not sure, Botan. It depends on the past."

Thinking back on it, Botan was sure Genkai was right on this. She remember the strangely familiar feeling she got during some of her blackouts.

"Uh, Genkai?"

"Yes, Botan."

"Do you know where Kurama is?"

"I believe he is outside . .."

"Thank you," Botan said as she ran out of the room. Genkai just smiled and went back to her tea.

Botan still felt bad about leaving Kurama in the dark through all of this. She just wanted to know for sure what was going on, so when she told him, she wouldn't sound like an idiot. She found Kurama standing in Genkai's garden watching the final moments of the sunset. She walked closer to him. Kurama caught her sent in the air and turned to see her.

"Hey, Kurama."

"Botan, are you feeling alright?"

"Yes, I am fine. Thank you."

Kurama smiled, then looked back at the sky.

"So, I . . . uh . . . I found out something about the blackouts."

"Really?" Kurama said, intrigued that she was finally ready to discuss it with him.

"Yeah, I found out that you really don't have to worry or anything, cause it is just repressed memories that are coming back to me."

This did not help ease Kurama's thoughts at all. He thought back to what Koenma had said. Botan's past must have been tragic, for her to decide to have her memory erased. He was not sure if her memory coming back was a good thing for her.

"I don't know, Botan. If they are strong enough to make you blackout . . ."

"What do the blackouts have to do with anything? My mind is trying to remember things I have forgotten, Kurama. I don't see why you take them so seriously."

"Yes, and you also don't see your face when you have those blackouts. You don't look happy, Botan. You look miserable while you have them; you look like you are suffering.

Botan grabbed Kurama's hands.

"Don't worry about me, Kurama. I've thought about it, and I actually do want to find out about my past life. In a way, I have felt half empty all these years. Not knowing about how I grew up, my childhood, things like that, that everyone has and can look back on. Our past makes us who we are, and yet, I don't know how I got to be the way that I am."

Kurama's heart melted. He never thought about how lonely it must be to have no memory of life. To feel like you never really lived. To think how Botan must have felt all those times any of them talked about their pasts, gave him a terrible felling of guilt. He suddenly felt that, though Botan was always considerate to other's feelings, he never thought of hers on a subject like that. He pulled Botan to him in a loving embrace. They both stood there in each others arms, hidden by the darkness of the new night.

"I am sorry, Botan. I never knew . . ."

"It's alright, Kurama. I just don't want you to worry about me so much. I feel like I need to go through this, and not to be protected from it."

"I understand."

Kurama cupped her face with his hands and kissed her on the lips. She gladly returned his kiss.

"I will not get in the way of this again, Botan. I promise."

Botan laid her head on Kurama's strong chest. Their arms wrapped around each other.

"Thank you for understanding, Kurama."

Being this close together, they both thought on how much they loved one another. But why couldn't they say it? All they could do was hold on to each other, and enjoy the closeness they shared.

Weeks later; the Urimeshi team has been under hard training. Kurama and Hiei have been training with Master Shigure, and Yusuke and Kuwabara have been training with Master Hikitsu. While training, Kurama and Shigure got to know each other pretty well. Their friendship just clicked. Once, in a match against each other, Kurama reverted back to his Yoko form. Shigure was so shocked about this, he froze, allowing Yoko Kurama to take the victory. When Shigure came around after that incident, he looked at Kurama in fright and amazement.

"What are you?" Shigure had asked.

"Sorry about that," Kurama said back in his Suichi form. "That was my demon form, Yoko."

"So, that demon's name of yours is Yoko?"

"Yes, I thought Genkai would have informed you."

"Apparently not. Ha, I guess I shouldn't let so many victories got to my head and assume I know my opponent. A well kept secret, Kurama, but I shall not let my guard down again. "

Hiei was in the corner, smirking.

"You humans live such sheltered lives," he said amused.

Yusuke and Kuwabara, on the other hand, didn't have the greatest time with their master. Hikitsu showed no mercy. While they were training, he would disappear without a trace, then he would show up when they least expected it, and would beat them down.

"Hey, what the hell is wrong with you?" Kuwabara complained. "There is no honor in those moves of yours."

"When in battle, your enemies will not care about honor. When you least expect it, they will be right there to stab you in the back. I am just preparing you for that," Hikitsu saidwith his I am superior to you attitude.

"Jeeze, what is with that guy?" Kuwabara asked.

"I don't know," said Yusuke. "I just hope I can surpass him one day so that I can kick his ass."

While the guys were training, Botan stayed with Genkai and took notes on their progress. Her blackouts occurred more and more, but they were still not coming together. They were only pieces of memories she couldn't comprehend.

In between Kurama's school and training, he and Botan didn't get to spend that much time together either. Though, she kept him informed of every blackout and what happened in it. He was just glad she wasn't shutting him out anymore. Kurama could tell she was getting excited to know her past. He just hoped whatever happened in her life wasn't too terrible.

School for Kurama, these days, wasn't the greatest. All he wanted to do was concentrate on his training, and Botan. His annoyance wasn't getting a rest either, with all the girls at his school trying constantly to get his attention. Botan wasn't like that. That was one of the first things he thought was so appealing about her. When they first met, she treated him like a normal guy. And when they talked, it was like she wanted to know him, not just want be with him or be seen with him, like all the other girls he'd ever met. Nope, he held so much more respect for Botan. She never cares about appearance. She always thinks about other's needs before her own. That kind of selflessness is rare among humans, and demons for that matter.

When school finally ended, Kurama hurried and got all his books then left for Genkai's. To his surprise, outside the gates of his school was Botan, waiting for him. He walked quickly up to her.

"Hello, Botan," he smiled cheerfully, making all the girls following Kurama burn with jealousy. They never saw him smile like that.

"You all set?" Botan asked returning the smile.

"Of course, lets go," Kurama said, eager to get away from the stare of his highschool classmates.

On the way to Genkai's temple, Kurama told Botan a story about his training with Shigure. They both were laughing when Botan suddenly stopped, put her hands on her head, and began breathing heavily.

Botan then heard a voice screaming in her head.

'Kill him! Complete your revenge,' the voice wailed. Botan felt as if her head was going to explode.

"Botan," Kurama said, worried. "Botan are you alright?"

"I am fine," she snapped in a low voice that wasn't quit her.

"Botan?"

The pain in her head was suddenly gone.

"What?" she asked, forcing herself to turn back to her usual chipper self.

"Nothing," Kurama said, used to these strange occurrences with her.

"Anyway, you were saying?"

Kurama finished his story just as they walked in to Genkai's house. He noticed that Botan shook the entire rest of the way, but didn't want to say anything. He remembered his promise not to get in the way of her struggling to remember her past. Hikitsu sat in the entrance, glaring at them as they walked by. They both ignored his gaze.

"That guy really gets to me," Kurama said with a glare of his own.

"Don't mind him, Kurama. If what you say is true of his past, then I feel bad for him. It is not his fault he is the way he is."

"I don't understand why you defend him, Botan. He is always looking for an excuse to make you feel bad."

"I don't know. He says things, but it just doesn't feel like he means them."

Kurama was still amazed at how Botan looked at the bigger picture, and didn't let people get to her. He, on the other hand, was not so forgiving.

"Well, I got to go meet Genkai, but I'll see you after your training."

"It's a plan."

Botan kissed Kurama on the cheek, and ran off. Meanwhile, Kurama trained. Ten minutes after he arrived, Hiei walked in, muttering to himself.

"Hiei, what's the matter?"

"Your little baka girlfriend is the matter. She's had this attitude lately."

"Did she tell you off again, Hiei?"

"Hn, nothing I can't handle from a weak human woman."

Kurama was just glad that everyone else was begging to see a change in Botan. Yusuke and Kuwabara asked him about it. Kurama told them what was going on.

"Gee, I didn't know she had a life," Yusuke said.

"Really, Yusuke, she was human . . ." Kurama said.

"I know that, I just never thought about it before."

"Yeah," Kuwabara said, "thinking isn't one if Urimeshi's strong points."

"Your one to talk, Duffus Brain," Yusuke shouted at Kuwabara.

"Shut up," he answered.

"Doesn't really sound like you two are getting along much better," Kurama said. "Still bitter from your training?"

"Just the usual," Yusuke said.

Kurama and Hiei decided to fight while waiting for Mater Shigure to show up. In the middle of their brawl, Genkai burst through the door.

"Kurama," she said urgently. "You might want to see this."

Kurama immediately followed her, Hiei as well. Genkai brought them to a room and pointed at the wall. There was a hole in it.

"That is a stoned wall, 5' thick," Genkai said.

"What happened?" Kurama asked.

"Botan suddenly grabbed her head and started moaning. I asked if she was alright, then she looked up, punched through the wall, and fell unconscious."

"Where is she?"

"Shigure carried her back to her room. He and Hikitsu had been walking by when it happened."

Kurama ran, without a second thought, to see her. Hiei just stared with huge eyes, in shock.

"That ferry girl did this?"

Kurama burst into Botan's room. Shigure and Hikitsu were there as well.

"Kurama," Shigure said, "she isn't waking up."

Kurama looked down to see Botan moving uncomfortably in her sleep.

"Will you leave us alone?" Kurama asked.

"Of course," Shigure said as he left the room.

Before Hikitsu left, he turned to Kurama.

"I told you not to get involved, now it's too late."

Kurama ignored him as he sat at Botan's side.

"Botan, I know I promised not to get involved but . . . I have to know," he said. "I am going to talk to Koenma about this. Maybe it will help."

Botan only stirred in her sleep. Kurama leaned over to kiss her forehead, then left the room. He closed the door behind him as Yusuke and Kuwabara ran up to him.

"Is Botan okay?" They both asked.

"She is sleeping for now. Would you two stay with her? I am going to talk to Koenma about this."

"Sure thing, Kurama," Yusuke said.

"Just hurry back. When she wakes up, she will probably only want to see you, Kurama."

Kurama smiled. "I will." Then he left.

Koenma was stamping papers on his desk when Kurama walked in.

"Yes Kurama, do you have some news for me?"

"Botan isn't well," he stated.

"What, what do you 'Botan isn't well'?"

"Tell me her about past, Koenma."

"Oh, that subject again? What is going on with her?"

"This is urgent, Koenma. She is having blackouts that I believe her suppressed memories are causing."

"That is not a simple subject, Kurama."

"Tell me. Botan is getting worse. I don't think we have much time before her memories return. If they are unbearable ones, I don't want her to be alone with them."

Koenma took a long pause to think about it.

"Koenma," Kurama said, urging him to talk.

"Alright, alright, Kurama."

Simultaneously as Koenma is telling Kurama Botan's past, she is re-living it in her dream.

"It all began when she was five years old . . ."

"What began?" Kurama asked uncertain.

"Her pain began . . ."

Okay, pretty boring chapter. The next one will be all about Botan's past.