Chapter Four
Mark and Steve headed to Community General after leaving the station. On the way to the hospital very little was said between father and son. Steve made his mind up to come clean with Amanda and Jesse about his fear of heights. He was tired of hiding it and once it was out then he could deal with the jokes and humor he was sure would come.
Once they arrived Steve made his way to the Doctors Lounge knowing that eventually he would meet up with one or both of his friends. As he entered the lounge he was a little dismayed to find both of them sitting at a table enjoying a cup of coffee. After sending a greeting to both doctors Steve made his way too the coffee pot. He had hoped that maybe he wouldn't have to face them this soon. He wanted to tell them but he was afraid of what they would say or think. He knew that he had always come across as a tough guy. Anyway that's the way he had hoped he had appeared to everyone. Now he was about to prove to them that he was anything but brave. He poured a cup of coffee and without really paying attention to what he was doing started pouring cream and sugar into the mug.
"You want some coffee with that sugar Steve?" Jesse's question brought Steve's mind back to the present.
"What?" Noticing the amount of sugar he was pouring into his mug he quickly dumped the mess into the sink and started over.
"Something on your mind Steve?" Amanda in her gentle quiet way inquired of the detective.
Steve finished fixing his coffee and sat down with his friends and just slid into the conversation without trying to be too obvious that he had something on his mind. Apparently he wasn't convincing Amanda because she kept eyeing him with that maternal look she always got when she knew that he or Jesse needed to talk about something. She was good at this though. She had plenty of experience dealing with these two since they seemed to have more than their fair share of problems. Usually girl related. Amanda tried to have that sisterly shoulder that was so often required during these tragic moments in these two young men's lives. She prepared herself to offer the comfort that might be needed to ease Steve's mind. She sat patiently waiting for him to make up his mind to discuss what was bothering him.
After about ten minutes of small talk, Steve decided to bring up what was weighing heavy on his mind. "I wanted to tell you two something that I haven't told anyone until today. It's kind of hard for me to admit this to anyone." Steve took a deep breath not really sure just how to say what he had to say. He decided to start by asking, "Have you ever been afraid of something?"
"You mean besides Amanda?" Jesse looked up at his friend with innocence in his eyes.
Amanda reached out and smacked him across the head causing his eyes to cross. Steve looked on at the two and smiled. He knew they were trying to make it easier for him with their antics and played along. "Amanda isn't scary, she just demands respect from those of us who require the benefit of her experience and wisdom."
Smiling sweetly at her detective friend she said, "Thank you Steve you are as charming as you are wise."
Jesse leaned over and started fiddling with something under the table. After a minute of waiting Steve looked at Amanda and shrugged his shoulders. "Jesse what are you doing under there." Steve wanted to know.
"I'm rolling up my pants leg. It's starting to get deep in here." Jesse responded.
"Sit up Jess I need to talk seriously for a minute. I wanted to talk to you about something that is bothering me and I was hoping that maybe you could understand and not judge me by it." Steve was looking at his hands and his leg was shaking again.
Amanda reached out and placed a calming hand on his leg and quietly encouraged him to continue.
"You know about the robbery case that I have been on for the past seven months right?" Steve asked the two doctors.
"You mean the one where the guy sprouts wings and flies across the roof tops. He has to be one of the most daring thieves I have ever read about." Jesse offered his comments with a little awe.
"Yea, that would be the one. The reason that he is still flying across rooftops is because I haven't been able to follow him. I mean once he jumps across to the other roof I loose him." Steve hesitated at this point reluctant to continue. Only after Amanda prompted him with that quiet calming way that she seemed to have, did he finally come out with the dreaded secret.
"I can't follow him because I have a problem with heights. I freeze up and I can't follow him once he lands on the other roof. Any other cop would have already had him in custody. All I can do is stand there and watch him sprint across the next roof and disappear out of sight. What's worse is I think he knows that I'm afraid to follow him. He makes sure that I get a real good view of his backside as I eat his dust." Steve at this point was studying the back of his hands again and his leg had once again taken up the marathon to see how fast and how long he could shake it. He was so humiliated from what he had just confessed he made a point not to look up at his friends.
"Steve I don't see why you are so upset about this fear of heights. I think everyone has some kind of fear that they are plagued by. I hate snakes. I mean really hate them. I can't even go into the reptile house at the zoo." Jesse shuttered as he made his confession.
"Jesse's right Steve. You are placing a lot of unwarranted guilt on yourself and you have to stop. It doesn't make you a bad cop. We just have to figure out another way to catch this guy. Now stop punishing yourself and let it go." Amanda smiled at her friend and gave him a kiss on the cheek as she once again put her hand on his knee calming him once again.
Just then Mark walked into the lounge. He smiled at the three young people as they sat together. It was obvious to him that while one had a problem the other two were trying to comfort and help him. He was very grateful for the relationship that he and Steve shared with Amanda and Jesse. They had become very much like his own children over the years, and now he was thankful for the love and support that they were spilling out towards his son at this time. He knew it had taken a lot for Steve to admit to them about his fear of heights. And just as he knew they would, the two young doctors had embraced their friend with understanding and support.
"Well, is this a private conversation or can anyone join in?" Mark asked with a twinkle in his eye.
"Nothing you don't already know." Steve responded.
"Have you always had this fear of heights Steve?" Jesse asked.
"I don't know. I guess." Was Steve's reply.
"Well I think it really started when he was about six years old and he jumped off the roof of the house and broke his arm. He's been very skittish about getting very far off the ground every since then." Mark offered as an explanation.
"Well it doesn't matter how long or why I have had this problem the real question is what am I going to do about it in order to catch this jerk. I don't think I can handle watching him do another 'Peter Pan' and disappear into 'Never Never Land.' " Steve said with frustration.
"Don't worry about it, we'll come up with something. He has gotten too cocky over the fact that he thinks he can get away by using your fear against you. That is exactly what is going to be his downfall. You wait and see what I tell you. We just have to come up with a plan to trip him up." Amanda smiled at her friend and patted him on the arm affectionately.
Mark and Steve headed to Community General after leaving the station. On the way to the hospital very little was said between father and son. Steve made his mind up to come clean with Amanda and Jesse about his fear of heights. He was tired of hiding it and once it was out then he could deal with the jokes and humor he was sure would come.
Once they arrived Steve made his way to the Doctors Lounge knowing that eventually he would meet up with one or both of his friends. As he entered the lounge he was a little dismayed to find both of them sitting at a table enjoying a cup of coffee. After sending a greeting to both doctors Steve made his way too the coffee pot. He had hoped that maybe he wouldn't have to face them this soon. He wanted to tell them but he was afraid of what they would say or think. He knew that he had always come across as a tough guy. Anyway that's the way he had hoped he had appeared to everyone. Now he was about to prove to them that he was anything but brave. He poured a cup of coffee and without really paying attention to what he was doing started pouring cream and sugar into the mug.
"You want some coffee with that sugar Steve?" Jesse's question brought Steve's mind back to the present.
"What?" Noticing the amount of sugar he was pouring into his mug he quickly dumped the mess into the sink and started over.
"Something on your mind Steve?" Amanda in her gentle quiet way inquired of the detective.
Steve finished fixing his coffee and sat down with his friends and just slid into the conversation without trying to be too obvious that he had something on his mind. Apparently he wasn't convincing Amanda because she kept eyeing him with that maternal look she always got when she knew that he or Jesse needed to talk about something. She was good at this though. She had plenty of experience dealing with these two since they seemed to have more than their fair share of problems. Usually girl related. Amanda tried to have that sisterly shoulder that was so often required during these tragic moments in these two young men's lives. She prepared herself to offer the comfort that might be needed to ease Steve's mind. She sat patiently waiting for him to make up his mind to discuss what was bothering him.
After about ten minutes of small talk, Steve decided to bring up what was weighing heavy on his mind. "I wanted to tell you two something that I haven't told anyone until today. It's kind of hard for me to admit this to anyone." Steve took a deep breath not really sure just how to say what he had to say. He decided to start by asking, "Have you ever been afraid of something?"
"You mean besides Amanda?" Jesse looked up at his friend with innocence in his eyes.
Amanda reached out and smacked him across the head causing his eyes to cross. Steve looked on at the two and smiled. He knew they were trying to make it easier for him with their antics and played along. "Amanda isn't scary, she just demands respect from those of us who require the benefit of her experience and wisdom."
Smiling sweetly at her detective friend she said, "Thank you Steve you are as charming as you are wise."
Jesse leaned over and started fiddling with something under the table. After a minute of waiting Steve looked at Amanda and shrugged his shoulders. "Jesse what are you doing under there." Steve wanted to know.
"I'm rolling up my pants leg. It's starting to get deep in here." Jesse responded.
"Sit up Jess I need to talk seriously for a minute. I wanted to talk to you about something that is bothering me and I was hoping that maybe you could understand and not judge me by it." Steve was looking at his hands and his leg was shaking again.
Amanda reached out and placed a calming hand on his leg and quietly encouraged him to continue.
"You know about the robbery case that I have been on for the past seven months right?" Steve asked the two doctors.
"You mean the one where the guy sprouts wings and flies across the roof tops. He has to be one of the most daring thieves I have ever read about." Jesse offered his comments with a little awe.
"Yea, that would be the one. The reason that he is still flying across rooftops is because I haven't been able to follow him. I mean once he jumps across to the other roof I loose him." Steve hesitated at this point reluctant to continue. Only after Amanda prompted him with that quiet calming way that she seemed to have, did he finally come out with the dreaded secret.
"I can't follow him because I have a problem with heights. I freeze up and I can't follow him once he lands on the other roof. Any other cop would have already had him in custody. All I can do is stand there and watch him sprint across the next roof and disappear out of sight. What's worse is I think he knows that I'm afraid to follow him. He makes sure that I get a real good view of his backside as I eat his dust." Steve at this point was studying the back of his hands again and his leg had once again taken up the marathon to see how fast and how long he could shake it. He was so humiliated from what he had just confessed he made a point not to look up at his friends.
"Steve I don't see why you are so upset about this fear of heights. I think everyone has some kind of fear that they are plagued by. I hate snakes. I mean really hate them. I can't even go into the reptile house at the zoo." Jesse shuttered as he made his confession.
"Jesse's right Steve. You are placing a lot of unwarranted guilt on yourself and you have to stop. It doesn't make you a bad cop. We just have to figure out another way to catch this guy. Now stop punishing yourself and let it go." Amanda smiled at her friend and gave him a kiss on the cheek as she once again put her hand on his knee calming him once again.
Just then Mark walked into the lounge. He smiled at the three young people as they sat together. It was obvious to him that while one had a problem the other two were trying to comfort and help him. He was very grateful for the relationship that he and Steve shared with Amanda and Jesse. They had become very much like his own children over the years, and now he was thankful for the love and support that they were spilling out towards his son at this time. He knew it had taken a lot for Steve to admit to them about his fear of heights. And just as he knew they would, the two young doctors had embraced their friend with understanding and support.
"Well, is this a private conversation or can anyone join in?" Mark asked with a twinkle in his eye.
"Nothing you don't already know." Steve responded.
"Have you always had this fear of heights Steve?" Jesse asked.
"I don't know. I guess." Was Steve's reply.
"Well I think it really started when he was about six years old and he jumped off the roof of the house and broke his arm. He's been very skittish about getting very far off the ground every since then." Mark offered as an explanation.
"Well it doesn't matter how long or why I have had this problem the real question is what am I going to do about it in order to catch this jerk. I don't think I can handle watching him do another 'Peter Pan' and disappear into 'Never Never Land.' " Steve said with frustration.
"Don't worry about it, we'll come up with something. He has gotten too cocky over the fact that he thinks he can get away by using your fear against you. That is exactly what is going to be his downfall. You wait and see what I tell you. We just have to come up with a plan to trip him up." Amanda smiled at her friend and patted him on the arm affectionately.