Ask the Author!!!!! ADVICE COLUMN!

Chapter 2: A Problem, a complaint, a love note and a death.

Dear Author,

Well, you see, I have this embarrassing problem. I wet my bed. What should I do?

Draco Malfoy...I mean Ferret...I mean....Lil Wetter...

Dear 'Draco Malfoy...I mean Ferret...I mean...Lil Wetter,

You are a moron. You just told the whole world that you wet your bed. Congratulations. (Idiot)

Here are some answers to your problems...Even though everyone already knows.

Rubber sheets (Knowing you, you would possibly soak through them...or maybe roll in your own pee...I hope for the latter).

Diapers...although this would make your ass look fatter...Not great with one like you already have.

Go to the bathroom before you go you go to bed...I bet you were too stupid to even think of this one.

Ummm...errr... that's about it... O, wait a minute, I have an idea...its professional too.

Put your hand in a cup of warm water while you go to bed.

Good bye...moron.

Dear Author,

I have a problem with you insulting people that write here!

Your big fat ass point, you moron?

I as the author from the column find this one completely disturbing...the next one, you moron...

Dear Author,

I am totally smitten with you. Love you soooooo much.

Gerogy Crabe and Visent Goal

This is sad. You love me, and your morons. You don't even know your names correctly and you can't spell them right to boot. Get away from me you creeps.

Dear Author,

I have some things that I need to tell you.

You are mean to people.

You should stop.

You don't give good advice

The guy that liked me dumped me because I took your advice.

You suck

You have bad hair

What do you put in your hair to make it so frizzy

You made Neville Longbottom change his sex to be with my ex-boyfriend

I hate you

I shall hunt you down

You are dead meat.

A concerned citizen of Hogwarts

I would write 'Dear 'A concerned citizen of Hogwarts,'

But seeing as I have eliminated them, what would be the point? Although I
will go through there list, and have responses for those that are
concerned to see.

One thing to say: I hate you.

You have a fat ass. Bitch.

What do you mean? I advised you not to make me angry... M

aybe he dumped you because you were you? I

know you do, but what do I? Or am I...

I know you do slimy git...

I use your hair gel...arsehole

Maybe Neville wanted to switch rather than being with you? Or maybe your ex likes Neville better than you

Same

Too late

No, you are.

Disclaimer: J.K. Owns all the characters you recognize...Thanks to my one reveiwer!

Remember..Stay in school!

R&R