S.E.V.E.N.T.E.E.N.
I felt immediate shame come over me as I told this bold-face lie to my brothers but I couldn't think of a logical explanation to changing my answer.
"No, Amber, you must be mistaken, are you sure it was Dally?" Soda asked with wide eyes.
He was offering me a way out of my lie, and even though I knew I should take it, I shook my head, "I'm not mistaken Soda, it was him, he grabbed me and pushed me against the wall and said he was going to…going to…"
"Shhh, it's ok Amber, don't make her say anymore" Ponyboy begged.
"Amber, you're sure?" Darry asked.
Tears welled up in my eyes, "Why don't you believe me?"
"We do believe you, but it was a traumatic experience, we just want to make sure you're remembering correctly", Darry explained in a gentle voice.
I sniffed back my tears, "I am"
I don't know when I became such a convincing liar.
"Darry, Dally was the one we found standing over her, and he split the second Two-Bit and I showed up", Ponyboy said sitting next to me on the bed and holding my hand as I continued to sniff back tears.
"I think I better go talk to him then", Darry had a real mean glint in his eye as he stood up and stroked the top of my head, "we'll get to the bottom of this."
Soda and Pony wouldn't let me get out of bed the entire day, which suited me just fine, my body ached and my head was reeling with images of Dallas and Cherry, intermingled with flashes of guilt associated with my lie.
"I brought you lunch, Amber", Soda said placing a tray on my bed.
Scrambled eggs and chocolate cake, Soda wasn't much of a cook, but he tried and he did come up with some original combinations that I won't go into detail on.
I pushed the food around my plate, my stomach was a bundle of nerves.
Darry didn't come back until around five that night and when he did he had a black eye.
Soda and Pony had finally consented earlier to moving me into the living room so I could have the TV for company as Ponyboy finished up our homework for us and Soda worked on fixing the broken radio.
Now that Darry was home, I forgot all about the TV and watched as Soda ran over to the icebox and pulled out what I had planned to be that nights dinner, steak, and slapped it on Darry's eye.
"What happened?", I gasped "Are you ok?"
'Please let it have been a Soc' I prayed as Darry shook from trying to hold in his anger.
"I tried to have a rational talk with Dallas about last night." He finally managed to say.
"And he hit you?" Ponyboy asked in disbelief.
I couldn't believe it either, from what I could tell, no one ever hit Darry.
But then again, from what I read in Pony's English essay, no one stood up against Dallas either.
"Not before I hit him", Darry admitted, picking up my legs and sitting down on the couch.
I scrambled into sitting position, welcoming the pain as a more tangible reminder that it was my fault that my brother was going to have a black eye for the next few days.
Not to mention that I had obviously caused a huge rift to open up between Dallas and my family.
"Start from the beginning Darry", Soda requested, flopping onto the floor by Darry's feet.
Darry sighed, "I found him over at Buck's place, pulled him aside and asked him about last night."
I shrunk low into the couch as Darry continued, "He said he had nothing to do with Amber getting attacked, that he was with Cherry Valance the whole night."
I flushed brightly and covered my hands with my face, "I thought Cherry had gone home, she was gone before the movie was over." Ponyboy said.
"I told Dally that I wasn't accusing him but that you and Two-Bit saw him standing alone over Amber and we just wanted to know what he knew. He claimed that Cherry had run off to get help when they found Amber and then he started to get angry."
"So why did you hit him?", Soda asked.
"Because he said something I'm not going to repeat right now." Darry answered, casting a sidelong glance in my direction.
Tears started to fall down my face and I gathered up the blanket I was wrapped in and retreated to the solace of my room, falling face down on my bed and sobbing.
I wouldn't talk to anyone for the rest of the night, not even Two-Bit who came in to try and cheer me up after having a hushed conversation in the living room with my brothers.
I knew they were all talking about me, and my accusation, and Dallas, and what really happened.
Darry let me skip school the next day with the promise that Pony would hand in my homework for me and get all my new assignments. It was a boring day since I told Darry and Soda that I would be fine by myself and to go on to work. They thought I was still hurting, I wasn't really, only on the inside. I couldn't stand the thought of running into Jake, or one of his friends though.
Ponyboy brought Fred home from school with him, I flushed as he handed me a Daisy with a sheepish, "It's all I could afford."
I hugged him as Ponyboy pulled two chairs over to my bed where I had been reading a battered copy of 'God was an Englishman' that I found lying in a box in Ponyboy's room.
"I'm sorry about the other night, that I wasn't there to protect you", Fred said after I had asked him how he was feeling.
"It's not your fault, I'm the one who ran away."
"Why did you run?" He asked.
I looked down at my blanket and shrugged, "I thought I saw something, I got scared." I said lamely, searching for a pack of cigarettes to calm my nerves.
"Pony, lemme bum a smoke" I begged, unable to look at Fred.
He handed me one with a wry smile and a warning not to let Darry catch me.
Fred left a little while later, promising to see me at school the next day and I was left alone with Pony who got serious all of the sudden.
"Amber, I have to tell you something, and I don't want you to think I don't believe you, but this is important so please tell me the truth, you know you can trust me."
I nodded
"It's going around school that Jake…well that it was Jake in the alley the other night, he's been spreading the word around that he, well you know, and that you let him, which I know isn't true, but the part about Jake…was it him, and not Dally?"
I thought back to the day, not long ago when I looked into my twin's eyes for the first time and I knew he would know everything.
And he did, because it wasn't really a question he was asking me, more of a clarification.
I nodded, "It was Jake, and three of his friends" I mumbled.
"So why did you tell us it was Dally?" Ponyboy asked, "Because you have feelings for him and he doesn't have feelings for you?"
I nodded again, more embarrassed then I could possibly imagine.
"Please don't tell anyone Pony, I promise I'll come clean and tell, I really will." I begged.
"I'm definitely not going to be the one to tell Darry that he punched Dally for no reason, your secret is safe with me."
"Thanks", I said opening one of my text books to start that nights work.
"Ponyboy, get out."
I looked up startled at the rough voice at the doorway a few minutes later.
Dallas
He looked like he hadn't changed clothes since the night at the Nightly Double.
"Dally, whatever you have to say you can say in front of me." Ponyboy countered.
Dallas balled his hands into fists, "Go ahead Pony, before anyone else gets a black eye" I said casting a quick look up at Dallas's hard face and seeing the remains of his and Darry's fight.
Ponyboy left the room but I knew he was hovering near the door in case I needed him, and I was grateful, Dallas looked very angry.
"Look at me." He demanded.
I bit my lip, looking up at him nervously.
"Cherry, the little bitch, won't tell your brothers that she was with me on Saturday night, afraid of ruining her God Damn reputation, so that leaves you…I said look at me…that leaves you to get your lying ass out of bed and tell your brothers the truth."
"I don't know what you mean" I lied
"Yes you do, and you tell them, or I'll really give you a reason to be lying in that bed." He threatened.
"Dallas" Darry barked from the doorway, "Get out!"
"Tell him Amber, tell him the truth." Dallas growled
"I…"
"Tell him!"
"Tell me what, Dallas, if you take a step closer to her, you'll be sorry, tell me what Amber?"
I looked to Ponyboy desperately for help, "I…."
My head started to throb as tears clogged my throat, "TELL HIM" Dallas roared with such a force I cringed.
Darry made a move to attack Dallas again, I thought my head was going to explode.
"I LIED, DARRY, I LIED." I yelled
He stopped in mid-action, letting go of Dallas's collar.
"What?"
"I lied, it wasn't Dallas, it was Jake and some of his friends, Dallas scared them off, if it weren't for him I would probably have been raped and really hurt."
I don't know which was worse, the feeling of shame that now consumed me, or the look of disappointment that flooded into Darry's eyes.