Howdy doody everyone! Hehehe I can't believe I'm still writing this, it was only meant to be 7 chapters - one chapter for each day in my story. Oh well. It's too fun to write! Thanks so much to everyone who read/reviewed my story so far! - (keep on doin' it - I DARE ya!)

Hey cool - there's now some kind of edit thing before you post, I can FINALLY use italics!! Yay! (sorry - random)

OK, here it is - . . .

Sam, knowing he was totally powerless to stop the only two women in his life from tearing each other apart, sighed and sat on the cold stone wall and pulled out a sandwich. Sam watched anxiously, munching thoughtfully on the sandwich, as Ruthy and Joon moved around in slow, deliberate circles, not daring to break eye contact. "So, what are you waiting for?" Ruthy asked arching an eyebrow at Joon. "Are you sure this is the way it has to be done? You know, a SANE person would want to hear the explanation before resorting to violence" Ruthy drawled. "Well, I always was a - shoot first, ask questions later kind of gal" Joon sneered back. Sam couldn't bear to watch. He tossed the half eaten sandwich on the ground, and covered his eyes. 'Ahhh, what am I going to do?!' Sam pondered desperately 'I can't let anything happen to Joon, OR Ruthy!'

Sam sneaked a peek though his fingers and saw they were still circling, sneering at each other. "You know something? I can't stand this! We are NOT enemies Joon. We're FRIENDS! F-R-I-E-N-D-S! Why are we DOING this?!" Ruthy demanded. Joon paused. "Friends? Before, you mentioned explanations. How do you explain YOU kissing, and embracing Sam?" Joon demanded. Ruthy stammered something-or-other trying to find an explanation on the spot ."It's not what you think -" she replied weakly before Joon cut her off "It's not what I think, ay?" Joon repeated bitterly, tears forming in her eyes "Well, I know what I saw, you two-timing BITCH!!!"

Without warning, Joon leapt at Ruthy, hands (and nails) outstretched. Ruthy fell backwards, the wind knocked out of her, as Joon tackled her to the ground. Ruthy could see red flames of jealousy and rage at the back of Joon's usually docile eyes. Sam watched in horror as the two scratched, slapped and rolled around on the grass; wincing especially as Joon tore at Ruthy's hair. "Ahhh" Ruthy screeched in pain, responding by flicking Joon's bra strap. "Ouch! No fair!"
A small gathering of park-goers congregated around in a circle. A few younger ones rooted and shouted for whom they wanted to win. Sam started to get up, but realized that if he jumped in the rampaging fight (which was a pretty stupid sounding plan to begin with) he would no doubt get beaten up quite badly, and not really accomplish anything anyway. Plus, he had forgotten the band aids. Sam paused, then quickly sat back down and started biting his nails tensely. Egged on from the surrounding crowd, Joon felt energized, ready to kill Bill . . .er, beat the crap out of Ruthy . . . "Want to play dirty, do ya? Well, here you go!" Ruthy shrieked as she was pinned face down in the mud. "Mmmime mmmona mmmet mmmmou!!!" Ruthy spat. Joon paused to let Ruthy pull her face out of the mud. "What?" Joon inquired "I couldn't quite hear you there, dearie!" Joon replied sardonically. Ruthy simply roared, tackling Joon to the ground. Together they continued to bite, scratch, and slap as they rolled back and forth in the muddy patch of ground. 'This would be pretty damn hot, if they weren't trying to kill each other and all' Sam couldn't help thinking. What was he thinking?! These weren't Sam thoughts...'Someone's spiked the asparagus!!! Must be . . . Or maybe they're a little off -' Sam's eyes rolled to the back of his head as he toppled off the wall onto the ground with a thud.

The fight paused.
"SAM!" the pair cried out in unison. Immediately forgetting the massive cat fight - which had been raging a good 10 minutes, they both rushed over to Sam's aid. Joon kneeled down and placed Sam's head on her muddy lap "Sam, sweetie, it's all right. We're not fighting anymore. Are you all right?" Joon cried. Ruthy crouched down in front of Sam and eased open his eyes - examining his pupils, then felt his wrist for his pulse, leaning in close. "Hmmm, I'd say a slight case of asparagus goneoffiss. As well as severe stress. Wonder what could have caused that?" Joon shook her head "I told him not to eat that stuff! It went out of date 2 years ago. I've been meaning to clean the fridge out . . ." Joon blushed, smiling sheepishly. Ruthy got
up and went to the picnic basket, pulling out a bottle of water. "Here, give him some of this" Ruthy instructed, handing Joon the bottle. Joon carefully opened the water, cautious not to spill any . . . that is, before she decided to pour the entire bottle over his head. Sam awoke with a splutter, eyes blinking rapidly "What the?" Sam groaned softly as he sat up, gingerly rubbing his head. "What happened? Is it over?" He asked in a small voice. Joon and Ruthy looked at each other, and smiled. "Yeah, I think it is." Ruthy replied, as Joon gave Sam her hand.

Once he was standing, Sam shook his head like a wet dog, immediately splattering Joon and Ruthy with excess water. While Sam was fussing over the picnic basket, Joon crept over to Ruthy, whispering in her ear "I will find out what's been going on". Joon was slightly put off when Ruthy turned to her, smiling - not a mocking smile, but a genuine one "Yes . . . you will."

Hmmm I'm going to really miss writing this story when its done! Ah Benny and Joon - such a great film! *sigh*

Hey, how did every like my asparagus gone-off-iss illness? Oh well, this is my universe, I can invent new ailments . . .right?

"What the?" - my salute to Rove: Live. That show is tooo funny!!!

I wouldn't expect many of you to read my other (sorry attempt of a) story. But I set a Johnny Depp in drag poll, and was curious to know people's opinions. You don't have to read the story, but maybe you could just check out the top of chapter 2. Ta!