Chapter 3
Authors Notes:
A big thank you to Mystril, who beta-ed this chapter and gave me some very insightful comments on my story flow. As well as pointed out my rather amusing misspelling of Snape's robes.
A thank you to Estrilda who was kind enough to send a note of mistakes that I missed.
A hug Elosia who has supported me and proved much needed humor in times stress.
Lastly thank you to all that have reviewed!
Disclaimer
It's not mine you know its not!
The poetry and this particular plot and flow does, anyone that wants to use the poetry please ask. Anyone that likes the plot or flow, Hey its fanfiction! Tuck in, just give me a shout in the somewhere in the disclaimer or authors notes. (And email me the story link!)
Tears
"Don't cry for the dead, but cry for the damned. Wed to their sorrow, they await pains command. Bound to its chains, which they silently fight. The promise of freedom holds no delight.
This elusive joy is but a foreign affair, For what is its good, if you cannot share. For what is left when the sorrow is gone, But a shadow, upon a plane which, doesn't belong."
Extracts from 'Tears' by Moira Helen Lawson, March 2004
o-o-o-o-o-o
Tornado
The sun crept into the ward, the rays dancing upon the stone floor; each golden streak trying to outreach its counterpart. The young woman that lay upon the hospital bed turned on to her back, the bed springs creaking in protest. Her dark locks crowned her head in a rather tangled halo of curls. The rapid eye movement stopped and the rhythm of her breathing changed, but still the woman did not open her eyes to indicate she was awake.
'Maybe if I keep my eyes closed it won't be real,' thought Hermione to herself. The dread and pain in her body chasing away the last threads of sleep.
'I can pretend that when I open my eyes all I have to do is go back and study Les Charms Dangereux ... Mum will be cooking breakfast, and Dad will do his terrible version of "I like to Boogie" in the shower, it wont be real.'
'But Hermione, if that was the case you would never get up,' a soft voice of sensibility pointed out.
'Too bad all that sensibility didn't save them,' her inner critic taunted,
'At the end of the day Hermione you're a nothing but a pathetic failure.'
'You could have protected them!'
'You should have been prepared!'
'I tried! I thought...the Ministry...the Order... Dumbledore could protect them! I thought they were safe!' her heart screamed, a dry sob escaped her throat.
'Ah and what did you think would happen Hermione?' sneered the voice,
'That they would leave you... forget about the filthy Mudblood that was friends with the infamous Harry Potter?' the voice asked, its sense and reason cutting her to the core.
'What made you think it wouldn't be your family? Why not? They are nothing more than Muggles.'
'Ha ...And to think the brightest witch this century couldn't see this coming, you need to start thinking Hermione... or else you will die,' the voice flatly stated.
'ENOUGH!' Hermione told herself. Squeezing her eyes tightly shut, she tried to stop grief's waves consuming her. Digging her nails into her palms, she attempted to contain the pain that traveled up from her stomach, filling up her throat making her feel sick and empty.
'Get a grip Girl! Stop whimpering and figure out what you are going to do!'
Hermione unclenched her fists, leaving bloody tracks on her palms. Letting out a shuddering breath she opened her eyes.
o-o-o-o-o-o
Dumbledore stepped into the Ward, the sound of his boots announcing his arrival. Locating Miss Granger in the cot she had been placed in the previous night. The girl's gaze didn't flicker from the roof, as the headmaster stepped around the screens and sat next to the hospital bed.
"Miss Granger?" Dumbledore inquired.
The girl turned her face to the headmaster, but instead of looking at him she appeared to see through him. Her eyes eerily clear and dark, the depth of her angst was captured in grimace lines around her eyes, the rest of her face remained like stone.
"Yes Sir?" the girl's voiced answered flatly.
"You deserve an explanation for last night," Dumbledore began.
"No, Sir, I don't," she interrupted.
"I beg your pardon?" Dumbledore looked at the girl in surprise.
Letting out a shuddering breath she began to explain her reasoning, "I fully understand the reasons why Professor Snape acted as he did. Though I felt that his methods were unacceptable at the time, they were never less effective... I'm lucky he didn't kill me on the spot." she detachedly observed.
Dumbledore opened his mouth, then finding himself at a lost for words, closed it. He had expected tears, ranting and perhaps the anger that followed the loss of loved ones. But not this, the girl was completely objective. Sighing, he decided to get straight to the point.
"There are things that will need to be done, Miss Granger. Before it will be safe to return you to the Headquarters. Do you understand the implications of this?" Dumbledore asked.
"Yes Headmaster, I do have one request?" she asked.
"Yes?" enquired Dumbledore, tilting his head to indicate that she should continue.
"I would prefer to have my memories checked with a Pensieve. Legilimency makes the person relive memories and, I can't yet," she hesitated. "I need more time." she said holding the Headmaster's gaze, her pain and grief making her normally sparkling brown eyes haunted.
"I don't forgive you for allowing Professor Snape to bind me and administer the Truth Serum, but I accept you needed to do it, to protect the Order and to ensure I was who I claimed to be" she continued in the unwavering voice.
Dumbledore blinked, his facial expression giving none of his thoughts away, his attention remained completely focused on the young woman that lay before him. 'They were going to need to be careful around the perceptive abilities of the astute Miss Granger,' he silently noted.
"Well I shall summon Professor Snape, and we will see the contents of the Pensieve....should we be satisfied with that we will leave the matter there... if not... I cannot promise that other methods will not be used Miss Granger," said Dumbledore.
"That's reasonable Headmaster... I do have one more request to make.With regard, to Professor Snape" Dumbledore felt the hairs at the back of his neck rise.
"Yes?" the lines around the old mans mouth tightened, there was a cut in the enquiry that suggested caution.
"Could you please inform him that that was the first, -- and last time -- that he should ever consider using a Body Bind on me!" her tone wasn't threatening, it sounded only resolved.
'Interesting,' thought Dumbledore, giving her a tight smile he peered over the top of his moon-shaped glasses.
"Indeed Miss Granger I shall convey the message. But I feel that I should also warn you that though your behavior was understandable yesterday, I will not allow a repetition of an attack on his person...forget not who he is." giving her a stern look, Dumbledore rose and came towards the bed.
Dumbledore gave her hand a squeeze and considered the young woman for a moment, his face softening "Miss Granger, we all feel for your loss, but remember that it's in these most terrible situations that we find our greatest strengths." his eyes sparkled with an deep emotion as he regarded her.
Releasing her hand and giving her a nod, Dumbledore turned and strode out of the Ward.
o-o-o-o-o-o
'Infernal brats!' Snape savagely thought as he stomped down to the dungeons, robes billowing behind him. Reaching the entrance to his quarters, Snape checked up and down the corridor.
Appearing satisfied, he extended one finger and ran it down the middle of the wall; a dark red circle appeared in the centre. Placing his left hand in the centre of the circle, he placed his forehead against the stone and whispered "Sacer". The sound caused the wall to quiver; pushing forward Snape felt himself pass through.
Opening his eyes he was greeted by his rooms, a single worn chair faced the fire. One wall was stacked with books, parchment and scrolls, opposite this was the standard double four poster bed decked in black. Next to the bed was a square trunk with assortment of various different instruments placed on it, above it was a Foe glass and what looked like a chipped piece of mirror.
The wall to his left was covered in shelves which contained bottles of various shapes, colours, and sizes. Picking up a blue jar he unscrewed it and rubbed some of the clear salve into his scratches and jaw line. Screwing the lid back on, he placed it back on the shelf.
Sighing, he turned right to the only other door that was present in the room, pushing it open. He stepped into the bathroom, to his right was a large built in cupboard and a wooden chair. The rest of the bathroom consisted of a toilet, sink, and shower corner with waist high clear screens.
Removing his neck scarf and teaching robes, he placed them on the chair. He began unbuttoning his frock coat. Once that hung lose he unclasped the inner hooks of the robes. Removing the final piece of clothing, Snape opened the heavy wooden door and selected his long grey nightshirt.
Catching his reflection in the mirror located on the door, Snape paused to look at himself.
A tall dark haired man stared back, his skin deathly pale; not unlike porcelain in appearance. Shoulders square and angular, followed by a long torso, narrow hips and lean legs. The muscles of the body had definition, but lacked depth and tone due to the colouring of the skin. Along his body ran a cascade of scars that varied in length and depth, the patterns continuing from his neck down; 'Trophies' from his 'Father's' and Messrs Potter & Black attentions.
Disgusted Snape slammed the wardrobe door closed, pulling the nightshirt over his head. He made his way back towards the bed, the springs creaking as he climbed into it. Drawing the thick black comforter over his shoulders he turned his head and considered the situation that they were now faced with.
With Granger's parents now dead, they would have another emotionally vengeful teenager to cope with. 'The young causalities of war, unfortunately, easily became the wasted dead of tomorrow,' he sadly mused.
'How Granger would cope? What would her reaction be... Who would she blame... the ministry, Dumbledore, the Order, the Dark Lord himself? What would her reaction to him be when he was summoned tomorrow?' All these questions floated in his mind, chasing away sleep as he tried to come up with solutions to each scenario that flashed passed.
Snape rolled onto his back, his eyes glittering darkly, 'Another student who would have to be protected and watched closely.' It felt never ending, desperately trying to protect what he cared about. Never receiving the recognition or respect that he warranted and deserved, and always being the hated party whatever the out come.
Snape let loose a heavy sigh; it didn't bother him as much now as it did when he was younger. 'Expect the worst, trust yourself, and hope the world will change!' was the motto that he adopted and applied to each situation he was faced with. The detachment was a close friend that he had acquired through years of... experience.
o-o-o-o-o-o
Hermione slowly made her way towards the Headmasters office, the black cloak was tightly wrapped around her body. Beneath the heavy black cloak she still wore the gown and a borrowed pair of hospital slippers. The gargoyle allowed her immediate access, regarding her with sympathetic eyes.
She climbed the spiral staircase then cautiously knocked on the half opened office door. Entering she was immediately faced with a table and three chairs, on the table was a blue stone pensive.
"Miss Granger?" Dumbledore asked softy.
She turned and was faced with the Headmaster, his eyes observed her appearance. She was deathly pale, but her eyes were clear and her mouth was set in a firm line.
"Headmaster." she acknowledged with a tilt of her head.
"Before we begin, I must ask you for your wand," he said.
Panic appeared in the young woman's face.
"It will be returned to you after, (he hesitated)...We have established the facts." he assured her.
Taking a deep breath, Hermione swallowed and handed over the wand, her hand slightly trembling.
"Where do you want me?" she asked, watching in trepidation as the headmaster placed her wand on his desk, then walked towards the table that held the stone Pensieve.
"Over here," said Dumbledore as he lead her to the chairs and offered her the middle seat. he then walked over to the fire place. Taking a handful of powder he cast it into the fire.
"Severus we are ready for you now," called the headmaster, stepping back from the fire.
A moment later Snape stepped through the fire place. Hermione tensed but she forced the panic down, meeting his eyes she nodded her head once again in acknowledgement.
"Professor Snape."
"Miss Granger," Snape replied, looking at her coldly.
Taking a seat opposite Dumbledore, he cast his gaze over her for a moment before turning attention to the Headmaster.
"Severus, you will extract the memories and observe them. Should you be satisfied with what you see then we will discontinue the line of enquiry, if not then we will need to continue through another route," Dumbledore stated.
Snape with drew his wand.
"Do you understand and accept this, Miss Granger?" the headmaster asked, turning to face her.
"Yes Sir," she nodded, then turned to the Snape and regarded him and his wand with suspicious eyes.
"Miss Granger, I want you to close your eyes and bring the memories of last night to the front of your mind." instructed Snape.
Hermione did as she was asked, fear swimming in her stomach.
The Potions Master leaned forward, and with his wand gently moved aside a piece of hair that lay across her forehead; startled at the contact she reared back and her eyes flew open.
"Calm down, Miss Granger" said the Headmaster softy as he lent forward and clasped his hand over her forearm. "Professor Snape is required to touch your forehead to remove the memories,"
She darted her eyes from the Headmaster to Snape, reminding herself to breath she tried to will her hands to stop shaking.
"Sorry Sir," she said lowering her eyes.
"Perfectly understandable Miss Granger, I shall now continue," said Snape through clenched teeth.
Extending his wand he once again placed the tip of it gently against her forehead, "Now, Concentrate," he ordered.
Hermione closed her eyes and willed forward the memories of the previous evening. She felt a rippling sensation as the wand was drawn away. Opening her eyes she was startled to see a silvery substance had been placed into the Pensieve, she was even more shocked to note that she could not remember a single detail from the previous night.
Snape leaned forward, placing his head into the Pensieve, gently allowing himself to get drawn in.
"Now Miss Granger, we wait" said the Headmaster as he lent back and placed the tips of his fingers together.
Hermione nodded and stared blankly at the Pensieve which Snape's body was currently crouched over.
o-o-o-o-o-o
Snape felt himself falling through cold blackness, he began to spin then.
He found himself standing in Hermione's bedroom.
Miss Granger was currently snoring softly, crouched over a small writing desk, her face pressed against the book she had been studying; dark shadows masked the young girl's face.
Snape looked around the room, it was quite plain. The walls were covered in astronomy charts, each showing the different kinds of stars and their locations. There were books piled next to the bed, and a chair that was currently occupied by a rather large ugly ginger cat.
There was a flash of lightning, the cat glared at the window and moved onto the bed, not soon after there was a rumble of thunder. He watched Miss Granger groan, peak one eye open, and lift her head. The side of her face had the book pattern displayed on it.
The young girl's eyes rolled closed again, and she narrowly missed a bowl of what looked to be soup.
"This is becoming ridiculous!" she groaned as she jerked awake.
Snape felt his lips curl at the antics of the young woman; he watched her attempt to continue the study of the book in front of her. Her head was rolling, her whole posture screamed exhaustion yet still she attempted to continue on.
After a few more fruitless attempts she gave up. Snapping the book shut, she rose from the chair and made her way over to the light switch and flicked it off. She then began removing her clothes; though it was dark Hermione's form was still silhouetted against the moon light.
Snape averted his eyes, having no desire to watch the young woman undress. His eyes darted around the room, looking for signs of irregularity or shifting in the memory.
He heard her groan the bones in her back creaking; he turned back towards her assuming she had finished her changing. Snape was shocked when he found that he had been provided with a full frontal view of the girl's assets. Combined with the arch back and the groaning, it was rather a sensational sight.
Clearing his throat he abruptly observed the floor, hating the fact that there was a blush creeping into his cheeks. 'For Merlin's sake doesn't the girl wear bed clothes?'
"I know, I know! I should have been in bed hours ago but that there is a charm that causes unbearable itching and causes blue smoke to fume at the ears, and it has this complex wrist jab" Hermione's voice continued.
Snape let out a snort, but did not lift his eyes from the floor. 'Miss Granger explaining charms to a cat. Now I have seen everything.' Stopping that train of thought, he mentally kicked himself.
'What a wonderful choice of words, Severus.'
The bed shifted as Miss Granger climbed into it; Snape lifted his eyes only when he was sure there was no more movement. He then lifted his head and began to observe the girl.
Face unguarded, the tension lines no longer decked her young face. Their absence made her look innocent, perhaps even slightly angelic; long hair which was nearly waist length fell across the pillow, a dark contrast compared to the skin. Her lips were slightly parted. Snape's breathing hitched when she licked them and swallowed before settling into sleep.
'Sweet Circe,' he exclaimed to himself, 'was there no end to the ways that this girl could unintentionally fluster him?'
The fates unfortunately must have heard and decided to mock him, for at that moment Hermione decide to turn to her side. Pulling the covers to her chest, she exposed the length of her back and the crease of her right breast. Her leg was bare to the thigh, the blanket only covering her rear from view.
Snape's mouth went dry; swiftly turning around to face the door, he began taking a mental store check of his cupboard.
o-o-o-o-o-o
He didn't have long to wait, before there was a crash that startled Hermione from her slumber. Turning back, he watched the girl spring from her bed and grasp her wand.
"Avada Kedavra!" a man's voice roared, followed by a flash of green light and a woman's scream...then silence. Horror flashed across the young girls face.
"MUM! DAD!!" she roared rushing forward along the short passageway towards her parent's bedroom. The door was flung open and two figures appeared wearing masks and long dark cloaks.
Snape moved forward watching with detached interest as Hermione hit the first Death Eater with a "Occido" curse.
'Where did she learn that?' mused Snape.
Ducking she avoided a flash of white light as it flew pass her head. Hitting the second Death Eater with an "Excaeo"
'Impressive,' he noted.
The third Death Eater grabbed her hair from behind, "She's upstairs," he shouted as he pulled her to her feet. Then proceed to whacked her across the side of the face. A moment later he, too, was hit with a curse.
Snape watched as the force of the assault sent Hermione down first small flight of stairs. Losing her balance, she bounced off the wall and ricocheted into the banister, then down the remainder of stairs. Her hands desperately clutched her head as she tried to prevent further injury.
Following her down the stairs, Snape was met with the unpleasant sight of Lucius Malfoy. Who waited till Miss Granger opened her eyes, before lazily pointing his wand under her chin and forcing her to stand up.
"Malfoy," Hermione gasped as she attempted to stand, clutching her side and gasping for breath.
"Tut, tut, what a predicament you are in my dear," he purred, sarcasm and malice lacing his softly spoken words.
Malfoy's eyes began to roam the young woman's body, lingering on the obvious.
"Interesting, you have developed somewhat since our last encounter." Hermione's neck flushed but she met his gaze with cold anger.
Snape clenched his fists, anger began twisting in his gut.
"Too bad you reek of your heritage, otherwise your person might have been of some interest," taunted Malfoy; as he moved forward his nostrils flaring, his eyes moving to her lips.
'You dirty vile piece of...' fumed the Professor silently, desperately wishing that he could strangle the blond wizard's neck. He watched helpless as Malfoy leaned towards Hermione, his nostrils flared, the cold grey eyes glittering with sadistic pleasure.
Hermione's next actions sent Snape's eyebrows straight into his hairline in shock; as she kissed Lucius then swiftly attempted to rob Draco of any siblings.
Hermione climbed over Malfoy, who was lying on the floor crutching his groin.
Grabbing her black cloak off the hook and throwing it around her shoulders, she frantically looked around. "Crookshanks!!" she screeched; a ginger streak raced down the stairs and landed heavily in her arms.
The last thing he saw was Hermione closing her eyes and muttering to herself. "Don't get splinched, don't get splinched." He turned back to Malfoy, who was staring at Hermione with utmost loathing, his eyes gleaming with unshed tears.
The mist began to swirl and Snape felt himself lift out of the pensive and land back on his feet in the Dumbledore's office.
o-o-o-o-o-o
Opening his eyes, Snape gathered himself then turned to the Headmaster.
"Well?" asked the Headmaster concern evident in his voice.
"I see no evidence of modification or any other form curse being used to suppress memories, nor did I find any sign or attempt of forced removal." stated Snape, deliberately keeping his tone flat and emotionless.
The Headmaster let out a sound of relief, giving Snape short nod and then looking at Hermione.
Snape withdrew his wand, and picked up the slivery substance from the Pensieve. Placing it again against Hermione's forehead, she closed her eyes and felt a sucking sensation, the previous nights memories returned. Quickly pushing them to the back of her mind, she opened her eyes and turned back towards the headmaster.
"Miss Granger you may now return to the Hospital Wing," said the Dumbledore softly, as he summoned the wand from his desk.
"Yes Sir" said Hermione grasping the wand and tucking it into the sleeve of her cloak.
"Severus, please escort Miss Granger back to the Hospital Wing. I need to contact the Ministry with regards to her welfare" stated Dumbledore. Nodding, Severus rose from the chair and indicated with a tilt of his head that she should follow him.
o-o-o-o-o-o
It was a short walk from the Dumbledore's office to the Hospital Wing; Hermione's stomach twisted into knots as she attempted to keep up with Snape's long strides.
Looking up at his face she could see that he was livid, the pulse at his temple worked furiously. He paused to look at her before letting her go into the Ward, his eyes glittered with anger and what might have been approval. But his next words made the latter emotion unlikely.
"You were lucky, Miss Granger," he stated coldly.
Hermione looked up at him in shock, her eyes searching his face; not really sure what she was looking for or even hoping to find.
His facial expression didn't change, but inwardly Snape bristled under the young woman's gaze. Her eyes were searing into him, their depth and intensity awakening old memories. Mentally he shook himself, he couldn't offer sympathy and the Know-it-all most certainly wouldn't want his understanding. 'Who ever did?' asked a inner voice, the realization made his gut twist.
It was time to put a stop to this staring contest, 'What does she expect, a tap on the head and fifty points to Gryffindor?' he thought bitterly.
"I presume you don't need an escort to your cot?" Snape said sharply, pursing his lips and fixing her with a look of impatience.
Hermione started, she had been lost in his features. She could have sworn she saw a flicker of ...recognition... perhaps? Unfortunately the sharpness of his voice and his look of irritation did not give her the opportunity to dwell on it.
Without giving her time to reply, he abruptly turned and strode down the corridor.
Hermione shook her head. Taking a breath, she attempted to take control of the rush of emotions that threatened to submerge her. 'What were you expecting Hermione? Snape to give you a big hug and say it will be okay?' her inner voice sneered.
'Insufferable Bastard,' she savagely thought as she entered the Hospital wing.
o-o-o-o-o-o
More Authors Notes:
Sacer -cra –crum = [sacred , holy, consecrated]; in bad sense, [accursed, devoted to destruction, horrible]. N. sing. as subst. sacrum -i, [a holy thing or place; a sacrifice or victim]; n. pl. [sacred rites, felt this would be a most appropriate password for Snape's domain, the word seems to embody the full range of emotions that he would mostly likely feel toward it.
Sacer is not a common Latin word so I will be happy to supply my source direct should anyone wish to check.
My personal response to Hermione's age has been dealt with in the reviews, any speculations or questions should be posted there or emailed directly to me.
The inner turmoil of Hermione has been pulled from my own experience of death it is not intended as a rip off of anyone's fic. Grief is universal and therefore cannot be owned by a single person. There will be also a lot of delving into both Snape's and Hermiones thoughts, again this is my personal way of telling the story and not intended as a rip off.
Should anyone feel the need to complain please do!
Thank you for all your support!
Authors Notes:
A big thank you to Mystril, who beta-ed this chapter and gave me some very insightful comments on my story flow. As well as pointed out my rather amusing misspelling of Snape's robes.
A thank you to Estrilda who was kind enough to send a note of mistakes that I missed.
A hug Elosia who has supported me and proved much needed humor in times stress.
Lastly thank you to all that have reviewed!
Disclaimer
It's not mine you know its not!
The poetry and this particular plot and flow does, anyone that wants to use the poetry please ask. Anyone that likes the plot or flow, Hey its fanfiction! Tuck in, just give me a shout in the somewhere in the disclaimer or authors notes. (And email me the story link!)
Tears
"Don't cry for the dead, but cry for the damned. Wed to their sorrow, they await pains command. Bound to its chains, which they silently fight. The promise of freedom holds no delight.
This elusive joy is but a foreign affair, For what is its good, if you cannot share. For what is left when the sorrow is gone, But a shadow, upon a plane which, doesn't belong."
Extracts from 'Tears' by Moira Helen Lawson, March 2004
o-o-o-o-o-o
Tornado
The sun crept into the ward, the rays dancing upon the stone floor; each golden streak trying to outreach its counterpart. The young woman that lay upon the hospital bed turned on to her back, the bed springs creaking in protest. Her dark locks crowned her head in a rather tangled halo of curls. The rapid eye movement stopped and the rhythm of her breathing changed, but still the woman did not open her eyes to indicate she was awake.
'Maybe if I keep my eyes closed it won't be real,' thought Hermione to herself. The dread and pain in her body chasing away the last threads of sleep.
'I can pretend that when I open my eyes all I have to do is go back and study Les Charms Dangereux ... Mum will be cooking breakfast, and Dad will do his terrible version of "I like to Boogie" in the shower, it wont be real.'
'But Hermione, if that was the case you would never get up,' a soft voice of sensibility pointed out.
'Too bad all that sensibility didn't save them,' her inner critic taunted,
'At the end of the day Hermione you're a nothing but a pathetic failure.'
'You could have protected them!'
'You should have been prepared!'
'I tried! I thought...the Ministry...the Order... Dumbledore could protect them! I thought they were safe!' her heart screamed, a dry sob escaped her throat.
'Ah and what did you think would happen Hermione?' sneered the voice,
'That they would leave you... forget about the filthy Mudblood that was friends with the infamous Harry Potter?' the voice asked, its sense and reason cutting her to the core.
'What made you think it wouldn't be your family? Why not? They are nothing more than Muggles.'
'Ha ...And to think the brightest witch this century couldn't see this coming, you need to start thinking Hermione... or else you will die,' the voice flatly stated.
'ENOUGH!' Hermione told herself. Squeezing her eyes tightly shut, she tried to stop grief's waves consuming her. Digging her nails into her palms, she attempted to contain the pain that traveled up from her stomach, filling up her throat making her feel sick and empty.
'Get a grip Girl! Stop whimpering and figure out what you are going to do!'
Hermione unclenched her fists, leaving bloody tracks on her palms. Letting out a shuddering breath she opened her eyes.
o-o-o-o-o-o
Dumbledore stepped into the Ward, the sound of his boots announcing his arrival. Locating Miss Granger in the cot she had been placed in the previous night. The girl's gaze didn't flicker from the roof, as the headmaster stepped around the screens and sat next to the hospital bed.
"Miss Granger?" Dumbledore inquired.
The girl turned her face to the headmaster, but instead of looking at him she appeared to see through him. Her eyes eerily clear and dark, the depth of her angst was captured in grimace lines around her eyes, the rest of her face remained like stone.
"Yes Sir?" the girl's voiced answered flatly.
"You deserve an explanation for last night," Dumbledore began.
"No, Sir, I don't," she interrupted.
"I beg your pardon?" Dumbledore looked at the girl in surprise.
Letting out a shuddering breath she began to explain her reasoning, "I fully understand the reasons why Professor Snape acted as he did. Though I felt that his methods were unacceptable at the time, they were never less effective... I'm lucky he didn't kill me on the spot." she detachedly observed.
Dumbledore opened his mouth, then finding himself at a lost for words, closed it. He had expected tears, ranting and perhaps the anger that followed the loss of loved ones. But not this, the girl was completely objective. Sighing, he decided to get straight to the point.
"There are things that will need to be done, Miss Granger. Before it will be safe to return you to the Headquarters. Do you understand the implications of this?" Dumbledore asked.
"Yes Headmaster, I do have one request?" she asked.
"Yes?" enquired Dumbledore, tilting his head to indicate that she should continue.
"I would prefer to have my memories checked with a Pensieve. Legilimency makes the person relive memories and, I can't yet," she hesitated. "I need more time." she said holding the Headmaster's gaze, her pain and grief making her normally sparkling brown eyes haunted.
"I don't forgive you for allowing Professor Snape to bind me and administer the Truth Serum, but I accept you needed to do it, to protect the Order and to ensure I was who I claimed to be" she continued in the unwavering voice.
Dumbledore blinked, his facial expression giving none of his thoughts away, his attention remained completely focused on the young woman that lay before him. 'They were going to need to be careful around the perceptive abilities of the astute Miss Granger,' he silently noted.
"Well I shall summon Professor Snape, and we will see the contents of the Pensieve....should we be satisfied with that we will leave the matter there... if not... I cannot promise that other methods will not be used Miss Granger," said Dumbledore.
"That's reasonable Headmaster... I do have one more request to make.With regard, to Professor Snape" Dumbledore felt the hairs at the back of his neck rise.
"Yes?" the lines around the old mans mouth tightened, there was a cut in the enquiry that suggested caution.
"Could you please inform him that that was the first, -- and last time -- that he should ever consider using a Body Bind on me!" her tone wasn't threatening, it sounded only resolved.
'Interesting,' thought Dumbledore, giving her a tight smile he peered over the top of his moon-shaped glasses.
"Indeed Miss Granger I shall convey the message. But I feel that I should also warn you that though your behavior was understandable yesterday, I will not allow a repetition of an attack on his person...forget not who he is." giving her a stern look, Dumbledore rose and came towards the bed.
Dumbledore gave her hand a squeeze and considered the young woman for a moment, his face softening "Miss Granger, we all feel for your loss, but remember that it's in these most terrible situations that we find our greatest strengths." his eyes sparkled with an deep emotion as he regarded her.
Releasing her hand and giving her a nod, Dumbledore turned and strode out of the Ward.
o-o-o-o-o-o
'Infernal brats!' Snape savagely thought as he stomped down to the dungeons, robes billowing behind him. Reaching the entrance to his quarters, Snape checked up and down the corridor.
Appearing satisfied, he extended one finger and ran it down the middle of the wall; a dark red circle appeared in the centre. Placing his left hand in the centre of the circle, he placed his forehead against the stone and whispered "Sacer". The sound caused the wall to quiver; pushing forward Snape felt himself pass through.
Opening his eyes he was greeted by his rooms, a single worn chair faced the fire. One wall was stacked with books, parchment and scrolls, opposite this was the standard double four poster bed decked in black. Next to the bed was a square trunk with assortment of various different instruments placed on it, above it was a Foe glass and what looked like a chipped piece of mirror.
The wall to his left was covered in shelves which contained bottles of various shapes, colours, and sizes. Picking up a blue jar he unscrewed it and rubbed some of the clear salve into his scratches and jaw line. Screwing the lid back on, he placed it back on the shelf.
Sighing, he turned right to the only other door that was present in the room, pushing it open. He stepped into the bathroom, to his right was a large built in cupboard and a wooden chair. The rest of the bathroom consisted of a toilet, sink, and shower corner with waist high clear screens.
Removing his neck scarf and teaching robes, he placed them on the chair. He began unbuttoning his frock coat. Once that hung lose he unclasped the inner hooks of the robes. Removing the final piece of clothing, Snape opened the heavy wooden door and selected his long grey nightshirt.
Catching his reflection in the mirror located on the door, Snape paused to look at himself.
A tall dark haired man stared back, his skin deathly pale; not unlike porcelain in appearance. Shoulders square and angular, followed by a long torso, narrow hips and lean legs. The muscles of the body had definition, but lacked depth and tone due to the colouring of the skin. Along his body ran a cascade of scars that varied in length and depth, the patterns continuing from his neck down; 'Trophies' from his 'Father's' and Messrs Potter & Black attentions.
Disgusted Snape slammed the wardrobe door closed, pulling the nightshirt over his head. He made his way back towards the bed, the springs creaking as he climbed into it. Drawing the thick black comforter over his shoulders he turned his head and considered the situation that they were now faced with.
With Granger's parents now dead, they would have another emotionally vengeful teenager to cope with. 'The young causalities of war, unfortunately, easily became the wasted dead of tomorrow,' he sadly mused.
'How Granger would cope? What would her reaction be... Who would she blame... the ministry, Dumbledore, the Order, the Dark Lord himself? What would her reaction to him be when he was summoned tomorrow?' All these questions floated in his mind, chasing away sleep as he tried to come up with solutions to each scenario that flashed passed.
Snape rolled onto his back, his eyes glittering darkly, 'Another student who would have to be protected and watched closely.' It felt never ending, desperately trying to protect what he cared about. Never receiving the recognition or respect that he warranted and deserved, and always being the hated party whatever the out come.
Snape let loose a heavy sigh; it didn't bother him as much now as it did when he was younger. 'Expect the worst, trust yourself, and hope the world will change!' was the motto that he adopted and applied to each situation he was faced with. The detachment was a close friend that he had acquired through years of... experience.
o-o-o-o-o-o
Hermione slowly made her way towards the Headmasters office, the black cloak was tightly wrapped around her body. Beneath the heavy black cloak she still wore the gown and a borrowed pair of hospital slippers. The gargoyle allowed her immediate access, regarding her with sympathetic eyes.
She climbed the spiral staircase then cautiously knocked on the half opened office door. Entering she was immediately faced with a table and three chairs, on the table was a blue stone pensive.
"Miss Granger?" Dumbledore asked softy.
She turned and was faced with the Headmaster, his eyes observed her appearance. She was deathly pale, but her eyes were clear and her mouth was set in a firm line.
"Headmaster." she acknowledged with a tilt of her head.
"Before we begin, I must ask you for your wand," he said.
Panic appeared in the young woman's face.
"It will be returned to you after, (he hesitated)...We have established the facts." he assured her.
Taking a deep breath, Hermione swallowed and handed over the wand, her hand slightly trembling.
"Where do you want me?" she asked, watching in trepidation as the headmaster placed her wand on his desk, then walked towards the table that held the stone Pensieve.
"Over here," said Dumbledore as he lead her to the chairs and offered her the middle seat. he then walked over to the fire place. Taking a handful of powder he cast it into the fire.
"Severus we are ready for you now," called the headmaster, stepping back from the fire.
A moment later Snape stepped through the fire place. Hermione tensed but she forced the panic down, meeting his eyes she nodded her head once again in acknowledgement.
"Professor Snape."
"Miss Granger," Snape replied, looking at her coldly.
Taking a seat opposite Dumbledore, he cast his gaze over her for a moment before turning attention to the Headmaster.
"Severus, you will extract the memories and observe them. Should you be satisfied with what you see then we will discontinue the line of enquiry, if not then we will need to continue through another route," Dumbledore stated.
Snape with drew his wand.
"Do you understand and accept this, Miss Granger?" the headmaster asked, turning to face her.
"Yes Sir," she nodded, then turned to the Snape and regarded him and his wand with suspicious eyes.
"Miss Granger, I want you to close your eyes and bring the memories of last night to the front of your mind." instructed Snape.
Hermione did as she was asked, fear swimming in her stomach.
The Potions Master leaned forward, and with his wand gently moved aside a piece of hair that lay across her forehead; startled at the contact she reared back and her eyes flew open.
"Calm down, Miss Granger" said the Headmaster softy as he lent forward and clasped his hand over her forearm. "Professor Snape is required to touch your forehead to remove the memories,"
She darted her eyes from the Headmaster to Snape, reminding herself to breath she tried to will her hands to stop shaking.
"Sorry Sir," she said lowering her eyes.
"Perfectly understandable Miss Granger, I shall now continue," said Snape through clenched teeth.
Extending his wand he once again placed the tip of it gently against her forehead, "Now, Concentrate," he ordered.
Hermione closed her eyes and willed forward the memories of the previous evening. She felt a rippling sensation as the wand was drawn away. Opening her eyes she was startled to see a silvery substance had been placed into the Pensieve, she was even more shocked to note that she could not remember a single detail from the previous night.
Snape leaned forward, placing his head into the Pensieve, gently allowing himself to get drawn in.
"Now Miss Granger, we wait" said the Headmaster as he lent back and placed the tips of his fingers together.
Hermione nodded and stared blankly at the Pensieve which Snape's body was currently crouched over.
o-o-o-o-o-o
Snape felt himself falling through cold blackness, he began to spin then.
He found himself standing in Hermione's bedroom.
Miss Granger was currently snoring softly, crouched over a small writing desk, her face pressed against the book she had been studying; dark shadows masked the young girl's face.
Snape looked around the room, it was quite plain. The walls were covered in astronomy charts, each showing the different kinds of stars and their locations. There were books piled next to the bed, and a chair that was currently occupied by a rather large ugly ginger cat.
There was a flash of lightning, the cat glared at the window and moved onto the bed, not soon after there was a rumble of thunder. He watched Miss Granger groan, peak one eye open, and lift her head. The side of her face had the book pattern displayed on it.
The young girl's eyes rolled closed again, and she narrowly missed a bowl of what looked to be soup.
"This is becoming ridiculous!" she groaned as she jerked awake.
Snape felt his lips curl at the antics of the young woman; he watched her attempt to continue the study of the book in front of her. Her head was rolling, her whole posture screamed exhaustion yet still she attempted to continue on.
After a few more fruitless attempts she gave up. Snapping the book shut, she rose from the chair and made her way over to the light switch and flicked it off. She then began removing her clothes; though it was dark Hermione's form was still silhouetted against the moon light.
Snape averted his eyes, having no desire to watch the young woman undress. His eyes darted around the room, looking for signs of irregularity or shifting in the memory.
He heard her groan the bones in her back creaking; he turned back towards her assuming she had finished her changing. Snape was shocked when he found that he had been provided with a full frontal view of the girl's assets. Combined with the arch back and the groaning, it was rather a sensational sight.
Clearing his throat he abruptly observed the floor, hating the fact that there was a blush creeping into his cheeks. 'For Merlin's sake doesn't the girl wear bed clothes?'
"I know, I know! I should have been in bed hours ago but that there is a charm that causes unbearable itching and causes blue smoke to fume at the ears, and it has this complex wrist jab" Hermione's voice continued.
Snape let out a snort, but did not lift his eyes from the floor. 'Miss Granger explaining charms to a cat. Now I have seen everything.' Stopping that train of thought, he mentally kicked himself.
'What a wonderful choice of words, Severus.'
The bed shifted as Miss Granger climbed into it; Snape lifted his eyes only when he was sure there was no more movement. He then lifted his head and began to observe the girl.
Face unguarded, the tension lines no longer decked her young face. Their absence made her look innocent, perhaps even slightly angelic; long hair which was nearly waist length fell across the pillow, a dark contrast compared to the skin. Her lips were slightly parted. Snape's breathing hitched when she licked them and swallowed before settling into sleep.
'Sweet Circe,' he exclaimed to himself, 'was there no end to the ways that this girl could unintentionally fluster him?'
The fates unfortunately must have heard and decided to mock him, for at that moment Hermione decide to turn to her side. Pulling the covers to her chest, she exposed the length of her back and the crease of her right breast. Her leg was bare to the thigh, the blanket only covering her rear from view.
Snape's mouth went dry; swiftly turning around to face the door, he began taking a mental store check of his cupboard.
o-o-o-o-o-o
He didn't have long to wait, before there was a crash that startled Hermione from her slumber. Turning back, he watched the girl spring from her bed and grasp her wand.
"Avada Kedavra!" a man's voice roared, followed by a flash of green light and a woman's scream...then silence. Horror flashed across the young girls face.
"MUM! DAD!!" she roared rushing forward along the short passageway towards her parent's bedroom. The door was flung open and two figures appeared wearing masks and long dark cloaks.
Snape moved forward watching with detached interest as Hermione hit the first Death Eater with a "Occido" curse.
'Where did she learn that?' mused Snape.
Ducking she avoided a flash of white light as it flew pass her head. Hitting the second Death Eater with an "Excaeo"
'Impressive,' he noted.
The third Death Eater grabbed her hair from behind, "She's upstairs," he shouted as he pulled her to her feet. Then proceed to whacked her across the side of the face. A moment later he, too, was hit with a curse.
Snape watched as the force of the assault sent Hermione down first small flight of stairs. Losing her balance, she bounced off the wall and ricocheted into the banister, then down the remainder of stairs. Her hands desperately clutched her head as she tried to prevent further injury.
Following her down the stairs, Snape was met with the unpleasant sight of Lucius Malfoy. Who waited till Miss Granger opened her eyes, before lazily pointing his wand under her chin and forcing her to stand up.
"Malfoy," Hermione gasped as she attempted to stand, clutching her side and gasping for breath.
"Tut, tut, what a predicament you are in my dear," he purred, sarcasm and malice lacing his softly spoken words.
Malfoy's eyes began to roam the young woman's body, lingering on the obvious.
"Interesting, you have developed somewhat since our last encounter." Hermione's neck flushed but she met his gaze with cold anger.
Snape clenched his fists, anger began twisting in his gut.
"Too bad you reek of your heritage, otherwise your person might have been of some interest," taunted Malfoy; as he moved forward his nostrils flaring, his eyes moving to her lips.
'You dirty vile piece of...' fumed the Professor silently, desperately wishing that he could strangle the blond wizard's neck. He watched helpless as Malfoy leaned towards Hermione, his nostrils flared, the cold grey eyes glittering with sadistic pleasure.
Hermione's next actions sent Snape's eyebrows straight into his hairline in shock; as she kissed Lucius then swiftly attempted to rob Draco of any siblings.
Hermione climbed over Malfoy, who was lying on the floor crutching his groin.
Grabbing her black cloak off the hook and throwing it around her shoulders, she frantically looked around. "Crookshanks!!" she screeched; a ginger streak raced down the stairs and landed heavily in her arms.
The last thing he saw was Hermione closing her eyes and muttering to herself. "Don't get splinched, don't get splinched." He turned back to Malfoy, who was staring at Hermione with utmost loathing, his eyes gleaming with unshed tears.
The mist began to swirl and Snape felt himself lift out of the pensive and land back on his feet in the Dumbledore's office.
o-o-o-o-o-o
Opening his eyes, Snape gathered himself then turned to the Headmaster.
"Well?" asked the Headmaster concern evident in his voice.
"I see no evidence of modification or any other form curse being used to suppress memories, nor did I find any sign or attempt of forced removal." stated Snape, deliberately keeping his tone flat and emotionless.
The Headmaster let out a sound of relief, giving Snape short nod and then looking at Hermione.
Snape withdrew his wand, and picked up the slivery substance from the Pensieve. Placing it again against Hermione's forehead, she closed her eyes and felt a sucking sensation, the previous nights memories returned. Quickly pushing them to the back of her mind, she opened her eyes and turned back towards the headmaster.
"Miss Granger you may now return to the Hospital Wing," said the Dumbledore softly, as he summoned the wand from his desk.
"Yes Sir" said Hermione grasping the wand and tucking it into the sleeve of her cloak.
"Severus, please escort Miss Granger back to the Hospital Wing. I need to contact the Ministry with regards to her welfare" stated Dumbledore. Nodding, Severus rose from the chair and indicated with a tilt of his head that she should follow him.
o-o-o-o-o-o
It was a short walk from the Dumbledore's office to the Hospital Wing; Hermione's stomach twisted into knots as she attempted to keep up with Snape's long strides.
Looking up at his face she could see that he was livid, the pulse at his temple worked furiously. He paused to look at her before letting her go into the Ward, his eyes glittered with anger and what might have been approval. But his next words made the latter emotion unlikely.
"You were lucky, Miss Granger," he stated coldly.
Hermione looked up at him in shock, her eyes searching his face; not really sure what she was looking for or even hoping to find.
His facial expression didn't change, but inwardly Snape bristled under the young woman's gaze. Her eyes were searing into him, their depth and intensity awakening old memories. Mentally he shook himself, he couldn't offer sympathy and the Know-it-all most certainly wouldn't want his understanding. 'Who ever did?' asked a inner voice, the realization made his gut twist.
It was time to put a stop to this staring contest, 'What does she expect, a tap on the head and fifty points to Gryffindor?' he thought bitterly.
"I presume you don't need an escort to your cot?" Snape said sharply, pursing his lips and fixing her with a look of impatience.
Hermione started, she had been lost in his features. She could have sworn she saw a flicker of ...recognition... perhaps? Unfortunately the sharpness of his voice and his look of irritation did not give her the opportunity to dwell on it.
Without giving her time to reply, he abruptly turned and strode down the corridor.
Hermione shook her head. Taking a breath, she attempted to take control of the rush of emotions that threatened to submerge her. 'What were you expecting Hermione? Snape to give you a big hug and say it will be okay?' her inner voice sneered.
'Insufferable Bastard,' she savagely thought as she entered the Hospital wing.
o-o-o-o-o-o
More Authors Notes:
Sacer -cra –crum = [sacred , holy, consecrated]; in bad sense, [accursed, devoted to destruction, horrible]. N. sing. as subst. sacrum -i, [a holy thing or place; a sacrifice or victim]; n. pl. [sacred rites, felt this would be a most appropriate password for Snape's domain, the word seems to embody the full range of emotions that he would mostly likely feel toward it.
Sacer is not a common Latin word so I will be happy to supply my source direct should anyone wish to check.
My personal response to Hermione's age has been dealt with in the reviews, any speculations or questions should be posted there or emailed directly to me.
The inner turmoil of Hermione has been pulled from my own experience of death it is not intended as a rip off of anyone's fic. Grief is universal and therefore cannot be owned by a single person. There will be also a lot of delving into both Snape's and Hermiones thoughts, again this is my personal way of telling the story and not intended as a rip off.
Should anyone feel the need to complain please do!
Thank you for all your support!