Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VIII. I'm sorry, I don't have any creative ideas for this disclaimer … on the other hand, I am chewing bubble gum.
Chapter Six
Bitch: Female of dog, fox, etc … Nope, wrong definition. [slang] to complain. Now we're getting somewhere! Yes, the poor little commander Leonheart had to listen to me bitch from Deling city to Dollet. I suppose it wouldn't have been that bad because I do come up with witty criticism, however I was nagging about irrelevant things.
"I mean … creativity can't be too strong to name a bridge 'The Crossing'. Who names a bridge 'The Crossing', I mean … what the heck? That's just stupid."
"Mhmm …" He clearly wasn't listening to a word coming out of my mouth but at that particular point in time I didn't care. I just needed to bitch, not about my problem, just about everything else but my problem. Bitching of the problem would remind me that it was there.
"And why do people buy poodles? Those are the ugliest dogs I've ever laid eyes upon! Hyne, they're so … they're so … so … ugly. Don't you find?"
"Couldn't agree more."
What I said about not caring whether he was listening or not … I take it back. "And I think that couples who aren't married and still have sex are disgusting and filthy so I think we should both abstain until we're rightfully married in the eyes of God."
"I agree." He replied and I remained silent until he discovered his mistake. This would take two to three minutes. After 98 seconds of my silence he glanced at me, "Sorry … what was that last thing you said?"
"Oh, that's all in the past now. What's important is that you agreed to it." And I resumed bitching, "And now they want to make bridge an official Olympic sport? IT'S A CARD GAME FOR HYNE'S SAKE! I used to play it with my grand-mother!"
"Me too."
"But no … what I hate above all else is stupid, worthless boyfriends that don't listen to anything I say! Do they think I keep them for decoration? You know what I'm talking about?"
"Yeah, I've had troubles with boyfriends too-hey, wait a minute!"
"Had problems with boyfriends, have you? Is there a certain secret you need to divulge to me?"
"Ha-ha." He muttered sarcastically, "And I was listening, for your big, fat information."
"Yes, which is why you agreed to having boyfriend problems."
"Ahh, shaddup."
I snickered back, "Rinoa 1 … Squall … 0." He clicked his tongue in annoyance and kept watching the road. I assumed it was a sign for me to start bitching again, "And why the hell do people buy TV dinners? There is virtually no nutritional value in them! Do they expect it to satiate their hunger?"
"Well, can't be worse than your Mac and Cheese." I had opened my mouth to let off another complaint but my lower jaw just hung loosely as I turned a death-bringing glare upon him. He scoffed at me, "Squall 1, Rinoa …"
"One." I completed his sentence, "That means we're even so stop acting like a fucker. Drive."
"Well, it's a red light at the moment." And without further ado, "Squall One, Rinoa Stupid."
"Kiss-My-Ass." I articulated and enunciated every word to make sure his wee-brain would register and comprehend fully. If Squall's intellect were to be compared to a PC, his processor would probably be a Pentium one with a 56k modem. The kind where they break down and the remedy is a good kick in the ass.
"I'd love to but I have to watch the road."
"Full of smart-ass comments today, aren't we?" I asked him cynically.
"Why yes, I do seem to be on a roll."
As soon as I spotted the familiar dormitory apartments of Dawson College I had a sudden rush of homesickness. I wanted to go back to Balamb. I felt safer there … I felt … I felt like I always did while I'm near him. It's not my fault, he's like a drug and I'm prone to addiction. Come on, between a threatening, strange, pitiless school and your striking, strong, sexy boyfriend … who would you prefer? Anyone who took the first option should get their head checked immediately because I believe the problem is quite serious.
"You gonna be ok?" He asked as he usually did when parting for the week.
I rolled my eyes instinctively, "No, I have this strange feeling that the alligators in the sewers will crawl out of the toilets and devour me in my sleep." I replied with my usual sarcastic answers.
"No, I'm serious." Same scenario, over and over and I never get tired. The small signs of affection and caring that he does show I take advantage of. I feed off them, if I may say.
"So am I."
He avoided my eyes and his tone got a little bit gentler, "I'm sorry for today, Rin." He turned to look at me slowly and as if daring himself he leaned over and kissed me quickly.
"Sorry doesn't cut it." I did my best to give him my 'I'm-so-unsatisfied-with-your-measly-attempts-to-reconcile' look.
"What will?" I was surprised to find his tone containing a very strong amount of seriousness to it. He was switching his gaze from my lips to my eyes.
My demand came naturally, "A very pleasurable kiss … and I judge hard." And obviously my demand would be met. Hyne, the kiss he gave me surpassed 'pleasurable' by miles and miles. If only I didn't need to breath once in a while! Damn humanity! Damn it all, it ended too quickly. So, instead of stopping it at 'A pleasurable kiss' he went above the initial request and gave me 'Many mind-numbingly pleasurable kisses'. HA-HA! All females envy me! No one can have his lips but me, myself and I! God, he's so amazing.
"Forgiven?" He questioned after the last incredible, astonishing, grand finale kiss. (I'm just trying to make you all jealous, girls. Is it working?)
Obviously I wasn't just going to let him take the
prize! "You pass with a C."
"C?"
"C+" I reconsidered quickly after being lost in his mind-blowing good looks.
"C+?" He questioned again. Drat, he was good and he knew it! Where's the fun for me?
"Eh … I need to re-evaluate." The next kiss that followed was even better than the ones before. Well, it wasn't just one kiss. After breaking apart, drawing it short breaths and resuming our activity the kisses became numerous. Rince, repeat.
"So?" He asked in between short kisses.
"C+" I repeated. There was no way in
Hell I'd let him take the prize, I say again!
"That seems unfair. You seemed to be enjoying them quite nicely and seemed anxious for more when we pulled apart." He frowned.
"I told you, I judge hard." I couldn't really hide the smile anymore and before he shoved it in my face that I was dying to scream out 'A+!!' I just murmured it loud enough for me to hear, "A+"
"What?"
I mumbled it incoherently again, "A+" He just gave me the biggest confused look
known to history of man so I repeated again but only in a whisper, "A … +."
"Yeah, I thought so." He smirked cockily.
"Don't make me change my mind." I warned him, "Call me." I opened the jeep door and got out, "Or you'll get an F."
"Tsk, tsk … threatening the praiseworthy student, Miss Heartilly?"
"No, I'm forewarning him. Bye."
"Bye, sweetheart. Stay out of trouble."
"See you around, uncle Jack … Ass." I stuck my tongue out at him and he shook his head in disapproval, "Buh-bye, drive safely, buckle your seatbelts and call me. Do those three things if you wish to live."
***
As soon as I got into my apartment, I found my roommate bustling with excitement. She's sort of like Selphie in a way except her abundant energy has a tendency to get on my nerves. Especially when she decides to waste that energy at night in her room with her boyfriend. They're both really, really loud and they usually pick a day where I have tests lined up the next morning.
"Holy mongoose! You'll never guess what, you know Professor Trell?" She didn't stop to find out if I had ever heard of this Trell character before (And typically I hadn't the slightest clue) she just jumped to the next point, "Well he has a son and holy mongoose, you'll never guess what!"
"He owns a holy mongoose?" My comment went unnoticed.
"He teaches my sister and apparently he's so cute! He's in his twenties or so."
"Oh … so no holy mongoose?" Once again, I was ignored.
"Which reminds me, you haven't met my sister. Well, Cynthia this is Rinoa. Rinoa this is Cynthia, my sister. She's in her second year of highschool." Heh, what do you know … just like Mikey.
"Pleased to meet you." I said politely to the miniature Angelina-look-alike sitting in an armchair by the television. Christ, never have I seen two siblings who look so alike. It's like Dr. Evil and his Mini-Me. Freaking creepy!
Cynthia's eyes lingered on me and they widened, "Holy mongrel, is your last name Caraway by any chance?"
Right … one says 'Holy mongoose' and the other it's 'Holy mongrel'. Quite the peculiar family there but okie-dokie! "Yeah, Caraway-Heartilly." I restrained myself from adding 'You nosey, impolite, crude little bitch.'
"So you're like, Mikey Caraway's sister." It was a statement; not a question, "You guys look sooooo alike! The hair, the eyes, the nose …" And does Mikey have breasts and other female body parts? NO. So the conversation ends here.
Unfortunately, she didn't receive my telepathic messages that I was ever so desperate to send anonymously, "Mikey is in my class. Everybody likes him because he sticks up to bullies and he's sooooo cute."
The adjective 'cute' was attributed to Mikey … … … AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAH!! AAAHAAHA! OH MY GOD! AHAHAHAHAAH! THAT-IS-A-FUCKING-FUNNY! AHAHAHAHAA! AHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA! AHA! Ahh … Ahaha … ha … ahah … oh, fuck that's hilarious. Give me a moment to recompose myself …
Ok, all better now. Hee … hee … haw … HA HA HA! Oh, dear God SAVE ME! AHAHAH! AHA! Oh, pity … Ha … aha … ahh …
Of course I wasn't laughing in this poor, blind girl's face. It wasn't her fault she had a handicap. You know, they say stupidity is incurable. There's no hope for this girl … but … if you donate to the F.R.C.F., the 'Fucking Retarded Children Fund' there may be hope to cure this flaky girl of her terminal illness … with time, with hope. Donate now. Call 1-800-HOPEFORTHEHOPELESS or e-mail us at HelpRetardChildren@FindAShotgun.net.
So after having a five-minute staring contest with the flake, I replied, "Yes … indeed. I'm sure … that … he … is … uh …" The phone rang. Sweet, sweet, sweet deliverance! "Oops! Better get that." I prowled for the cordless and lunged at it as soon as I spotted it. I answered, "Y'ello?"
"Rinoa?"
"One moment please while I transfer." I hung up. The last thing I needed is to talk to one of my brothers. It wasn't the one who had been referred to as cute but I still didn't feel like talking to him. To my misfortune, the little shrimp was resilient and the phone rang again under a minute and a half.
"Y'ello?"
"Rinoa?"
"Stu, when I hang up on you the first time it's not usually a good idea to call back."
"But I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really need to talk to you."
"Is it a life or death situation?"
"Uh … no."
"Then you don't really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really need to talk to me, ok?"
"Yes, I really, really, really, really, really-"
"STOP IT!"
"But I really do need to talk to you."
"God, what?" If only I had known better I would have hung up. But I didn't and this brought DOOM upon me.
"Well, it's just that mommy and daddy are going away for part of the week-end that's coming up and Joan was going to visit her sisters and mommy said that if daddy agreed, and he said ok, that you could …"
DOOM, DOOM, DOOM, DOOM! DOOM HAS COME UPON US! THE SKY IS FALLING, THE SKY IS FALLING! DEATH TO CHILDREN! DEATH TO THEM ALL! DOOM! Help me, I'm going to die … doom has come, the sky is falling, twenty kids are … I'm going to be in charge of … oh, FUCK!
Sabam: Well, this way quite the edgy chapter! I hope that didn't bother you too much. Please review! I really hope you guys didn't think it was … bad or anything. I was just trying to show the extreme of Rinoa's character. A note to my regular readers: I've joined the drama cast this year! *A sign in back of her lights up saying 'Applause'.* Yes, after much consideration I signed myself up and since it's an extreme commitment I would ask you to please be patient with my writing as it may sometimes be a little late. Thanks.