CHAPTER FIVE

"So, I said to Ma, ' "Please let me write a spell to make my hair grow golden,"' but she wouldn't hear of it. ' "You're not that powerful yet, you're more likely to end up growing hay on your head!"' That's all she'd tell me," said Lóni crossly.

Lena and Lóni were walking slowly through the forest, leaves crunching beneath their bare feet. It was a beautiful sunny day, with a gentle breeze sighing through the branches of the trees, and the two youngsters were grateful for it, for it was a tiresome job, gathering herbs during hot weather like this.

"Why did you ask her permission? I'd just have gone and done it," replied Lena. "Ouch- stepped on a thorn." As she bent down to remove it, her friend cast her a look of envy.

"No doubt you would have!" she said. "But I didn't do it really because I knew I wouldn't even have been able to. I thought Ma would be able to help me."

"You should have come to me. I'd have done it for you like that," and Lena snapped her left fingers, wincing slightly as she pulled out the thorn from her foot with her right hand. "The spell is the simplest I've ever written."

"But you're so good at writing spells! The connection between you and the Goddess is simply astounding. Why, during the circle last week, I could have sworn you were leading it, and not your mother. You were glowing- literally glowing- a bright silver halo surrounded you, and that normally happens to your mother during circles."

"Yes, I was pretty proud of that myself," Lena admitted, as they continued walking, "and I thought Mother would be too; but all she said to me was to remember to ground myself when it was over. She is so incorrigible! Nothing I ever do impresses her. I know I'm easily as powerful as her, if not more, but she is holding me back. She never lets me explore my potential!"

"Perhaps," said Lóni thoughtfully, "perhaps she is envious of your power, and of your connection with the Goddess. I have heard of it before, from other covens, where the High Priestess hampered their daughters out of pure jealousy, and would not allow them to use their powers and increase them, so that they may remain the leader."

"No-o-o, but I'm quite sure Mother wouldn't do something like that," said Lena slowly. "She is just a little strict, that's all. Just wait till I pass my initiation!" Her eyes glittered, and she swung her basket gently as she walked. "Then we'll see. I'll have so much fun…"

"Will you colour my hair for me then?" interrupted Lóni eagerly.

"You know your mother would never speak to me again. And mine would never forgive me. Anyway, why would you want to change your hair? It's so lovely." Lena reached out and stroked Lóni's long black locks wistfully.

"You're crazy. I think yours is so much nicer," said Lóni, and tugged the long red-golden curls that grew wildly around Lena's face.

"Ugh! It's so horrible, and unmanageable, and it just keeps growing! Why, three weeks ago I cut it to my chin, and it's already down to my waist!"

"I'm glad it grew," said Lóni decidedly, "It suits you all wild and long like that. Don't be silly, Lena, your hair is your 'crowning glory' as Elladan said yesterday." She giggled as Lena groaned.

"Your brother is quite the charmer, isn't he? But, pray tell him that a certain friend of yours does not want his compliments. There are plenty of other elves for him to seek in the village."

"No, there aren't; you know there aren't, Lena," said Lóni. "My brothers, yourself and I are the only youngsters left in Alerien. If you don't marry one of my brothers there will soon be nobody left." She sighed. "I wish you'd give him a chance, Lena. He's really not so bad once you get to know him. And we would be sisters!" Her eyes sparkled. "Imagine what fun it would be…"

"Don't get yourself wrapped up in false dreams. I am not marrying any one of your brothers, and that- is- the- end- of- that." Lena tossed her head in the air.

"Crosspatch!" said Lóni, and pulled Lena's curls again, playfully but a little harder than last time.

"Ow!" shrieked Lena, "I'm going to get you for that," and she reached up and pulled Lóni's small braid tied on top of her long hair.

"Hey!" Giggling, the girls set about chasing each other through the forest, tripping over their long skirts and herbs flying unnoticed from their baskets.

"Lena loves Elladan! And he loves her, and they're going to be together forever and ever and ever," sang Lóni, giggling madly as she ran through the lush green grass.

"Ooh, you, just wait, I'm trying to remember that spell I wrote the other day…"

"What, a love spell?" sniggered Lóni, "yes, a love spell for –OOF!"

"Watch it, ladies!" said Fridel as Lóni bumped straight into him and staggered, falling onto the ground with a thud. Lena was about to trip over her but managed to stop herself in time.

"Oh, Fridel!" she said crossly. "Where did you come from?"

"Well, that's a nice way to greet someone!" said Fridel. "For your information, Miss Culdol, I have just come from your mother, who wants you back at your flet immediately. Apparently you were sent gathering herbs, which I see you have been so avidly doing," he added sardonically as he cast a glance at her dishevelled basket.

Lena followed his stare. "Oh, no," she said miserably as she saw the now empty basket. "She is going to kill me."

Lóni scrambled to her feet. "Too right she is!" she squeaked. "What are you going to do, Lena?"

Fridel sighed. "Here," he said, and to their amazement and delight he pulled a huge bag of herbs from his cloak pocket. "Take what you wish from here. I hardly need any of it- it is extra from a circle I had last night."

"Thanks, Fridel," said Lena gratefully, and crouched over her basket as she began to stuff thyme, rosemary and other aromatic plants into her battered little basket.

"All right, Lóni?" asked Fridel, smiling at the other elf, who was already red in the face from running but went even redder now.

"I'm fine, thanks," she said shyly, "You?"

"I'm fine, thanks," he said grinning. "I went to the mountains again last week, did you know that?"

"Ooh, did you?" asked Lóni fascinated. "Were there any dwarves this time?"

"Oh, yes, plenty," Fridel assured her. "And I got something for you as well… look…"

Lóni's eyes widened as he pulled out a long, glittering necklace made out of pure gold that had rubies, sapphires and many other precious stones set in it.

"Oh, by the Goddess!" she exclaimed, clasping her pretty brown hands, "It's beautiful! Oh, Fridel… I couldn't take it… I'm sure I don't deserve it…"

"But you must take it. I had it made especially for you," insisted Fridel. "Here, let me tie it on for you…" And, carefully lifting up the mane of glossy black hair, he draped it around the blushing elf's neck.

"There! It suits you so, you look like a queen in it," he said admiringly.

"Oh, Fridel," said Lóni, "I really don't know how to thank you…"

Fridel's smile grew even wider. "Well," he said, "I would love the pleasure of your company tonight… when I go to the mountains again."

"The mountains!" said Lóni excitedly. "Oh, I've been longing to go!" Suddenly her face fell. "But my mother…"

"I've already mentioned it to her, and she allows you to go, as I am a full grown elf who is perfectly capable of looking after you," he cut in with a grin.

"Oh, what fun!" said Lóni happily. Then she glanced down at Lena, who was still arranging her basket, but smirking at the same time as she listened to the conversation above her. Lóni's face brightened even more as an idea occurred to her.

"Can she come as well?" she pleaded. "Lena, wouldn't you love to come as well? To see the dwarves!"

Lena looked up quickly and saw that Fridel's face had suddenly fallen. "Er… actually I've got a lot of studying to do tonight," she said truthfully, but a little reluctantly, because she would have loved to go and see the mountains with Lóni. But something in Fridel's face held her back.

But Lóni looked disappointed. Suddenly she turned to face Fridel.

"I'm sorry, but I can't go," she said, though regret was evident in her tone of voice, "Lena and I have always promised to be with each other the first time we'd see the mountains. Maybe another time."

"Wait," said Lena quickly, as Fridel looked as if his world was coming to an end, "I might be able to make it, if- if we come back before half-night, and leave before sunset. Mother might just allow it."

"If you're not sure-" began Lóni, but Fridel interrupted again.

"Very well! We meet at the Village Centre two hours before nightfall. Bring warm clothes and drinks, and look respectable, for the dwarves do not care for scruffiness! Fare you well, both of you!" And Fridel swiftly passed them by and continued on his way.

"Wasn't that nice of him?" asked Lóni of Lena happily as they set off once more. "We're going to the mountains, to see the dwarves!" She did a little skip of excitement.

"Oh yes- very nice of him," smirked Lena. "Lóni- that elf is sweet on you!"

Lóni coloured but tried to laugh scornfully. "Don't be silly," she said, "He is twice my age, and an elder."

"So? Vilya from the village married an elder three times her age and they're both still very happy."

"That's an exception-"

"All that stuff he was saying!" said Lena, ignoring her friend, ' "I would love the pleasure of your company!"' ' "Look respectable, for the dwarves do not care for scruffiness!"' Pah, everyone knows that dwarves are as bad as trolls when it comes to appearance. He obviously just wants to see you looking your best."

"Well," said Lóni slowly, "Even if it was true- and I did care for him as well- I'm not saying that's true!" she said quickly as she saw Lean grinning again, "Ma would never allow it."

"I wouldn't know about that," said Lena mildly, "Fridel is very good-looking for his age, he is quite decent in manner though sometimes too teasing for my liking, and not to mention he is very well off."

"How do you know that?" asked Lóni.

"Well, that necklace isn't exactly cheap, is it?" retorted Lena.

"Oh Lena," said Lóni, "I wish one day your heart would be stolen by some tall, dark, handsome elf, who would sweep you off your feet, and…"

"I'd like to see him try," flashed back Lena.

"Anyway," said Lóni, leaving the subject with an air of relief, "we're here at the flets. It is time to 'tear ourselves away', as little Mim says." Mim was Lóni's youngest brother.

"See you later then," said Lena, and after an affectionate embrace the two friends parted.

Lena hurried along the long and winding path that would take her home. She was quite worried; she knew she should not have dawdled so much, for now her mother would be furious with her. Besides she did have a lot to work on, and she was quite doubtful on whether she would be allowed to go to the mountains that evening. But if she rushed now she might just get there in time.

Panting, she reached the tall tree and skimmed up the rope skilfully.

"There you are!" exclaimed Mother as she charged into the kitchen, clutching her basket tightly. "Goddess, child, what happened to you?"

Lena looked down at herself and groaned inwardly. She was in a mess. Her dress was all torn and dirty, her feet were damp and caked with mud and dust, and her arms and hands were no better. Her hair clung to her face, damp with sweat, and her face was streaked with dirt. Why had Lóni said nothing of this to her?

"Lena, I sent you to gather herbs, not to go and have a mud romp with your friends!" said Mother sharply. "Did you manage to do that, at least?"

"Yes Mother!" said Lena, and thankfully put down her basket onto the kitchen table.

Naisiltirtha began to search the basket thoroughly. Lena seized her chance.

"Mother," she said, "Fridel has offered to take Lóni and me to the mountains this evening. May I go, please?" she asked hopefully, wiping her moist palms on her dress.

Suddenly Naisiltirtha looked up from the basket with an angry expression. Lena's heart sank.

"These are herbs I gathered with Fridel yesterday, when we had a small circle in the village. I suppose you dropped all the ones you found when you went on some mad caper with Lóni, and that Fridel gave you these to save your skin," she said cuttingly.

"But Mother-"

"No 'but's, Lena! Not only did you disobey me, you allowed yourself to get distracted once more, you tried to deceive me, and, what is worst of all, you wasted all those herbs for nothing! You know that in Wicca, what you take from nature must be harboured carefully and used until the very last units run out! You have done wrong in the eyes of the Goddess. You know that, Lena. You know."

"Yes, Mother, I know," she muttered.

"And no, you may not go out to the mountains with your friends tonight. I want you to stay here and study. Your initiation is coming up in 9 months, and that is not such a long time, as you well know! Now, go and get washed and come and have something to eat before you go to your room."

Lena left the room, feeling extremely heated but not daring to grumble one bit. After grabbing some clean clothes, she slipped down the rope and crossed over to the brook that ran opposite the lake.

"You see me not," she muttered. "I am but a shadow." Now invisible, she stripped herself of her clothes, put them in a pile with the clean ones and stepped into the cold, clear water. She quickly submerged herself to her neck, just below to where her hair was knotted. She closed her eyes and allowed her thoughts to unravel.

Why was her mother so often angry with her? True, Lena had not displayed model behaviour that afternoon, but she still felt deeply wronged. After all, she had not done such a terrible thing. Except for wasting those herbs. Lena felt a slight twinge of guilt over that. Disobeying your mother was one thing but flaunting the rules of Wicca was another.

She sighed, and opened her eyes. The water had already calmed her mood and cleared her mind. Thank you, Goddess, for sending me your guidance through your wonderful servant of nature that is water.

Just for fun, she began to cast her senses. It was a way of feeling for other people who were around. Every Wiccan could do it, but, being the daughter of the High Priestess, Lena's senses were naturally sharper and more honed than others of her age.

The first person she felt was her mother. It was so easy to tell it was her- feelings of anger, disappointment, worry, and concern. Lena's insides curled up in remorse, and she immediately resolved to try harder to listen to her mother in the near future. She drew back quickly before her mother felt her spying.

She cast out further, lazily. She could feel different emotions of various elves in the flet village as they prepared for bed; tiredness, thoughtfulness, concentration, sadness, love, reverence…

Suddenly her senses leapt on a new personage- one totally new to her. It was so powerful that she reeled back mentally and had to adjust her wits.

It was a huge jumble of emotions; confusion, sadness, pain, teetering on the edge of misery, curiosity, worry, wonder… where was it coming from?

She cast out even further. It was very close, yet she could not pinpoint its source exactly. She knew she was risking the stability of her mind but she recklessly deepened her concentration. She could not explain why she felt so drawn to it.

She jerked her head upwards towards her flet. There it was! Near Mother's room. Who could it possibly be? They normally kept Earthmen in that room. But it couldn't be, she thought. She had never known an Earthman to have such an impact on her mind.

Bursting with curiosity, she climbed out of the brook, performed a drying spell on herself, dressed quickly and scurried up the rope indoors.

She found her mother sitting at the table in the kitchen writing her Book of Shadows. She looked up when Lena entered and to the latter's relief there was a kinder expression in her eye than before. A plate was set on the table for Lena to eat.

After finishing her meal, which was spent in silence, Lena spoke up.

"Mother," she began, "I was casting my senses while bathing outside, and I felt…"

"I know what you were doing," interrupted Naisiltirtha, "I could feel you."

Lena stared. "But you weren't supposed to!" she cried. "I thought I-"

"Subtlety was never one of your strong points, Lena," said her mother with a very provoking grin. Lena shifted uncomfortably. "But I can say this- your powers are growing every day. The length at which you were casting your senses was truly outstanding for one your age. It was very hard to feel you prying in my mind. I have always expected great things from you, but you astonish me with every passing day. You are remarkably astute and you are very intelligent and hard working, though very fickle-minded and too stubborn and disobedient sometimes, but you possess a great talent and you must learn how to use it well, my daughter. Your connection with the Goddess is one to be envied- it is deep and highly personal and it is a sign that she has chosen you to perform great deeds."

Lena stared, a lump forming in her throat. Her mother almost never praised her so much like this. A few moments ago she had received the scolding of her life. Now she was being praised to the highest heavens. Mother was a strange person, all right.

"How come you never tell me things like this? Why do you hardly ever praise me and show me your appreciation?" she said, swallowing.

"Because," said her mother gently, "it was how your father died."

Lena stared again, so much that this time her eyes began to water. Her father was almost never talked about in that household. He had died very soon after Lena was born and she could not remember him at all.

"Oh yes," said Naisiltirtha, "I always encouraged your father in whatever he did. Even if I sometimes disapproved of some of his ideas. I stoked his ego, you may say. I always exaggerated my admiration- I was too blinded by my feelings for him. Then, one day, I found that I had made a mistake- he had become so proud and arrogant over the years that he decided that he was capable of performing a dark and dangerous piece of magick that was way beyond him. Well, he paid for it in the end. He came out of it so badly he never got to see you before he died.

"When I began bringing you up, I watched your behaviour carefully, I studied every single quirk in your character as if my life depended on it. In the end I came to a final conclusion- although you possess my powers and talent your character is that of your father, in the better days, before his fall. And from that moment on I was deadly afraid of your turning out like him. As you grow some of his faults begin to show up more frequently, but I have never sought to encourage them. I am determined not to make the same mistake again, Lena. That is why I never praise you like I should. So do not think that I never feel proud of you, Lena, because not a day goes by when I am not."

Lena quietly shut the kitchen door behind her. Her mind, so clear from her wash in the brook, was now once clouded again after the talk with her mother. She had never known all that about her father. She had never even cared to know. Her mother was the only family Lena had ever had and as far as she was concerned it was enough. She shook herself mentally, sighing, and pushed all thoughts away for now. It was too late to deal with those things.

She opened the door of her room and was about to enter, but suddenly she made an abrupt turn. She stared curiously at the door next to her mother's. She felt her senses pulling her towards it once again, irrevocably.

What was it about this Earthboy? For it was an Earthboy, her mother had told her. "Don't go pestering him, he is sleeping," were her final, warning, words.

But now Lena was curious, and when she was curious, nothing could stop her. On impulse, she crept over to his room and slyly pushed the door open just a little.

Suddenly a gust of wind blew through the house, and the door flew wide open. Lena shut her eyes and screamed inside her head. After a few short yet infinite seconds she opened them again, and saw that the shape lying on the mattress inside had not shifted. She glanced at the kitchen. Apparently her mother had not heard anything.

Slowly and with the utmost care, she tiptoed into the room and inch by inch, made her way near the mattress. She bent down eagerly to look at the face upturned on the pillows.

As soon as she caught sight of Harry's pallid features, a shock of emotions ran through her. It was something she had never felt before- it was a powerful, deep feeling, a kind of inexorable fascination that gripped her. She felt as if she knew this boy already, as if she'd known him forever. Her breath caught in her throat as a shaft of moonlight suddenly appeared through the open window and enveloped his face.

Those eyes. Those green eyes. They drew her in, and she could not remove gaze from them… Before she knew it, she was reaching out and gently touching Harry's face with her trembling fingertips. A rush of warmth spread through her arm like a thousand tiny bubbles, until the sensation filled her entire body.

She quickly drew her hand away, breaking the connection. She suddenly felt scared. She wanted to leave, but at the same time, she remained rooted to the spot, in accordance to her own wishes.

Finally, she wrenched her eyes off him and quickly and softly as she could, ran out of the room without allowing herself a backwards glance.

She was still a bit shaken by the time she was safe in her bed. What on earth had happened to her back then? She did not altogether like the strange hold that had come over her. It rendered her powerless, something that never usually happened to Lena.

Perhaps it was because she was just tired.

She groaned, burrowing her head into the pillows. I will just have to keep away from him, that's all, she thought as she drifted off. She also thought she was being sincere.